continuing pain

Another bad night  as I was doped up.  My eyesight is starting to dim so badly that this morning when I woke up and opened my eyes, it was like I was using a dimmer switch.  My eyes are just so sluggish to light response.  I had to take my hand to make sure the light switch was really on.  It was.  My legs are numb right now as I speak--having gone back to perpetual numbness, and my back is tight.  I know I cannot continue like this for much longer and will have to make a choice to save my life and body--the wilderness is calling.  I have to go soon, before autumn hits.  I just want to feel healthy and strong in my body again.  That won't happy today.  Hopefully, it will happen once again.