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August 3, 06

I woke up with a bad migraine this morning, and still am fighting it.  I can tell that the migraine is caused by muscular tensions and spasms created by the excess amount of speed and/or psychotropic drugs that I was given yesterday.  My body lets me know when I am doped up, and yesterday evening, I couln't even torque my waist or put pressure on my knees in yoga.  My legs, arms, and neck were like numb, dead weights, and I could hardly lift them.  The pain and inflammation that is in my left wrist and shoulder is now spreading to my right wrist and shoulder.  To wake up with such a painfully tight, bad back after an evening yoga class is very distressing.  It is undeniable, physical confirmation of what my intuition has already informed me--I can no longer contain or reverse the damage caused to my body by the drugs.  I am in increasing amount of pain (which makes me very cranky), and am getting diminishing relief from yoga and painkillers.  Soon, I will have to make a decision to preserve my body from irreversible damage--I will find out soon enough just what kind of permanent damage has been done to my knees ((I can feel the crepitude with my own hands---that was not there 9 months ago, before these dumb morons started doping me up with their poison).  I know what it is that I want and need to do today, but I think I am going to have to take drugs just to get started.  I am in too much pain.  Three cups of coffee and 3 Excedrin \Migraine tablets have done nothing for the headache.  It is just a question of what I need to take---Fiornal or Flexiril---I'm sick to my stomach.  Maybe I had better start with Fiornal....