Terrible

Terrible--that is what my body feels like, my mind feels like, my life feels like.  I am being force fed the psychotropic drugs again--I can tell because my feet and legs are numb (do you know how difficult it is to drive when you can't feel your own legs and feet?), my back muscles are spasming, and my arms are so weak that I cannot hold the phone to my ear.  To add insult to injury, I am being force fed speed, which I can tell because of the agonizing, fiery pain it causes in my left leg. 

I cannot remember the last time I felt like a human being.  I just keep plugging away, hoping and praying that God will give me my life back.  Not much of a prayer though--I cannot pray when I cannot concentrate.  And even though I went to Church on Sunday, it was obvious that I wasn't in reality enough to pray.  But God knows that it is not my fault so I hope for mercy.  I pray for health.  I am so sick of suffering this torment.