A nonfunctional day

A nonfunctional day--too drugged to do anything. all noise stimuli hurts. body hurts. every msle, even biceps ache. woke up groaning--a sure sign that its going to be a nonfunctional day. worse of all is kidney pain extending all over my left side. never stops hurts to breathe my poor body. ketoacidosis going on. i can smell it on my urine for the last two times--not just once. my poor body is being destroyed too sick to care. another day whose only purpose is to wishe were dead.

And now comes goddamned shit all over again

And now comes goddamned shit all over again--dont know what stupidass motherfucking drugs the fucking prickls have put in my system now. Totally dead. No energy. no ability to feel, no ability to enjoy anything, even a fucking football game. No ability to shake. I have no energy whatsoever. Not able to ride my bike. Just sit here and be high on whatever fucking psychotropic they rammed up my ass this time. Get fat. my fucking appetite is all fucked up., I cant eat. a bowl of stew and a muffin left me feeling like i want to explode. i been on this shit before, it causes me to gain weight. i eat because im desperate to feel some kind of energy, some kind of semblance of life, and my stomach is full and bloated while i put on pound after pound. what a fucking wast e of my fucking life. Miserable, drugged, lifeless and without any vitality.

Luciferians at it again.

Luciferians at it again. I told Dale I would scream if I were screwd, and IM SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS. Cab anybody hear? Most certainly not the toruring pricks who keep doing these painful psychotropic downloads on me. So Listen people. This is not the work of God, the sacred, the holy, angels, or even beneficent beings. This is the work of luciferian elements. God is a wooer, not a rapist, and what i experience is nothing but the most excruciatinly painful psychic and physical rape, though my torureres were gracious enough to allow me a couple of days when I almost felt human, but not whole, either physically or spiritually (too complicated to go into when i am so sick but i know what it is to live life to the full, n it certainly hasnt happened for years now). Anywat diwbkiads begab wguke was washing dishes. try so hard to get my house clean but everuu time i begin a project, the goddamned download starts, and with the agonizing muscle spasms, which right now r so bad i cannot even stand. i never know when the spasm is going to go and literally nearly knock me to ground. then there is the brain--the immediate shut down of ability to interface with reality all i can do is lie in bed and groan. no tv tonite. too mcuh pain. dont know if i can do yoga tomorrow. not if legs r like they r now. cant even lifte them. totally dead. too dead to even get in shower so im really going to have to wake up early tomorrow if i make it to yoga. right now too sik to care. bed.

Pain. Pain Pain

Try to exercise to get kinks out of a body that is hypersensitve to touch everywhere. every muscle is tender. too much headache to keep eyes open. such terrible pain. no relief. all i ask for is a supportive woman to touch and massage spasming muscles--instead i get pix of pricks. just what i need some self absorded dickhead in love with his penis when I desperately want and need someone sensive and skilled in use of hands. well nothing for it but to uste otc drugs and cry. pain is too much. God, send me a beautiful woman to help me endure this hell that is my life. A beautiful woman would make so much so better

Some relief from the psychotropics

Some relief from the psychotropics but body is completely wracked and out of whack from the last two days of relentless muscle spasms. My lower back is so messed up that I literally cannot stand up straight, walk normally or twist to clean myself after using the toilet. My lower back is completely curved into maximum scoliosis. My head still hurts and is tender. No time for self-pity though. One thing is clear. The goddamned pieces of shit responsible for my suffering will not let up. I have to take whatever respite I get and try to catch a psychic breath. I have to try to do somehting about my wracked, spasmed back, I have to clean house, do laundry and go grocery shopping before the fucking pigs turn the screws on their psychotropic rack once again. One good thing about clarity--helps crystallize the hatred to and resistance against these manipulative lying pigs and everything they stand for and attempt to achieve. Every day that I lay in bed, unable to move with suffering and pain, I pray that my agony count against their ambitions and agendas. One thing I know about this whole co0mplex of power tripping abusive torturers and tools of Satan, is that they know (and are very adept at) the power of the spirit world. It is the only power open to me, as powerless and trapped and truly sick as I am. No time for self-pity. Have to try to do something for my poor, abused, muscle spasmed body.

Nonfunctional

Nonfunctional after a horrible painfilled nite. Lost day. Hurts to breathe, type. move legs. so dead they cant walk. have to drag. Head hurst cant open eyes. everym muscle in body in spasm. nothing i can do. apparently this is punishment for pulling covers off the nocount naked emperer. all i can do is pray for death. have no desire to be a part of thes torturers assholes plans. too sick to do anything. in too much pain

TPTB have really amped up the torture

TPTB have really amped up the torture in the last couple of days. My legs are walking stumps. I am in so much pain from my nerves on my left side from hips to knees, even tho i cant feel my legs. Migraine headaches from the downloads which make me nauseas. But overall, I am happy, happy because the morhterfuckers, no matter how they try, can't destroy my free will. And I choose to be fully human, fully alive by insisting upon acting on my free will no matter the pain and suffering, and pain and suffering r pretty bad right now. The only question i ask myself now, is whether it is time. appropriate to take things to the next level. When I have nothing to lose. but its not just about it--taking things to next level could have widespread repercussions that i wouldnt want. But honestly, can i stand by and suffer while these fuckers try to force their warped evil vision of reality on all of America???? Some things to ponder in next few days, hard to think when i am so fucked up on drugs and with unending pain.