I am starting to feel concerned about the recent turn of events. I have been so low testosterone all day that I am not able to think very well. However, I am really being socked by the viral download, but once again, my inner voice tells me not to trust what is going on. In my last post, I asked for blessings on the Patriot Leadership Team, but now I am not so sure that there is a team, but am wondering if the military, specifically the Navy/Faction 2 military has pulled off a de facto coup. If so, that is disastrous for this country and humanity's future, and not something that I can support. I do not have the deep respect for Faction 2 that some in the alternative community do. I regard them the way I regard Catholics and the Catholic Church, which is to say that yes, there may be good individuals, but I think both institutions are corrupt to the core, as well as the primary power brokers of them. Just as I no longer affiliate myself with the Catholic Church, I do not feel comfortable with the Templars/ I have seen a few of the Faction 2/Knights Templars people, and they give me a yucky feeling. They are the human agents who got Salusa to chop up my body, because they have no respect for the civil liberties of gay and lesbian people (they did not castrate me--the reptiles did that). They have constantly ignored my pleas and tears, and deny my human free will over the most basic of my rights--that of sovereign ownership of my own body. Nope--those values do not reflect or honor the spiritual and free vision of humanity for which I yearn.
I am not yet positive of what is going on, but I know enough that my inner voice that is still telling me to resist any interdimensional activity has to be listened to. Yet, clearly Faction 2/military people, as well as the lemurian psychic neighbors are quite confident in their assumption that I "belong" to them. So, again, the question is, what am I doing/saying in my sleep, or better yet, what is some controlled, immature aspect of my psyche saying? I don't know, because I am on some kind of psychotropics that prevent me from remembering my dreams, and the high estrogen that I am constantly force fed makes sustained thought difficult. I don't know. When I am this messed up, all I can do is wait to see what pans out. In the meantime, until I get clarity, I have to continue to resist any abduction.
I have said it before, and I will say it again--the political person I absolutely and completely embrace for the transformative future of this country is Hillary Clinton. It does not bother me if Joe Biden is the de facto president--after all, that would be the clear constitutional transition. But is Biden a free agent or is the military/Faction 2 in command? I am sitting on some information that I don't want to reveal, because I have no desire to sabotage a leadership team, with Hillary Clinton as a respected and empowered member, but I am uneasy that such may not be the case. So much going on, and I fear that once again, I just am being used to further some fantasy projection of some patriarchal men. Nothing for it, but to wait and see. I may have doubts, but nothing I just wrote is hard set. I have got to get control of my life somehow...
In the meantime, I need to go back and edit my previous posts. That was one indicator that set off alarm bells. Rereading my previous posts reminded me of the edits that the Jesuits used to make in my writing to reflect a more favorable attitude to the Church and a heterosexual identity. I know that since getting the virus in my right hemisphere, I suffer from some kind of grammatical dyslexia, but when I see repeated glitches (edits?) that confirm the same misleading notion about my sexual and gender identity, I get suspicious. Deal with life one day at a time.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
I still am encountering satanists
I still am encountering satanists, and their satanic mind game techniques. This morning on the bike ride (usually the only guaranteed time that I am out and about in the public eye), I encountered yet another psych ops directed at me. One of the best movies providing an authentic glimpse into the satanic world is "Eyes Wide Shut". ALERT: It is not for children, youths, or anyone who cannot handle realistic depictions of gross immorality and subtle adult evil. In the movie, the satanists all are wearing masks, which creates a sinister and surreal feel, as the audience watches the satanic players moving around their castle environs, in a semi-trance, seemingly oblivious to all the individual people and acts around them.
Well, as I was coming around a bend, I saw a glimpse of a tall, statuesque woman, and she was moving in a trance like effect, and I said, "uh oh--satanist alert", and instantly veered off the path to the exit to a local street. I saw another government truck (no one inside it). This time I saw that it said "parks department". There was a senior citizen who looked like he was my local protector. I wanted to see if the woman would follow me, and sure enough, she did. This time, I was ready to really catch and fully perceive what was going on. You see, because of my autism, when my senses pick up something that triggers my alert system, I often go into an autistic state, which is a highly anxious state. It is not that I am afraid, but rather that, because I am on high alert, I am opening my senses up, to figure out what is the source of my alert, and when that happens, I become "autistic"--overwhelmed with sensory perception. When people are attempting to access my thoughts psychically, I become autistic, and then become anxious, with suspicion and autistic (overwhelming sensory input) perception. This is why all of these mind games, even if done by good intentioned people, are counterproductive. As I have explained time and time again, I respond better to direct dialogue, and ideas presented in writing. Any kind of mind game just trips the high anxiety of autism, and I find it difficult to get full and clear perception. However, this time, I was the one waiting to check out the satanist, and the street was clear, except for what I thought to be a "friendly" (if anyone was in the truck, they would have to open the door, which would warn me), so I just put all my attention on the woman.
Even with all my attention focussed on her, I couldn't believe how bizarre she really was. I find myself laughing now, but really it was surreal. She was tall and statuesque, with huge, full breasts, which I couldn't help but notice, because at 7 in the morning, on a public street, coming from a bike trail, she was dressed in some kind of floor length gown that looked to me more like pajamas than a dress. It kind of reminded me of something that a Grace Kelly character would wear, after drinks and before retiring--some kind of intimate boudoir nightwear that a woman only wears for her lover. There probably is some name for it, but I don't know much about women's clothes, so I will just describe it. It was a floor length, silky gray, pleated gown, but in a simple way, looking more like a pajama gown then a formal gown. Her breasts were fully covered, but loose in the halter style bodice. She was walking as if in a trance, staring straight ahead--a gray, living, breathing, "Statue of Liberty" (which has occult origins as well, by the way--it is a covert depiction of Isis). I remember thinking at the time, "oh my God, her mind is completely vacant"--like one of those brainwashed Mormon women, that the psych ops throw at me every now and then. If you have ever encountered a brainwashed person, (and I have), you will know what I mean, when I say that the mind was completely "brain WASHED". She was holding the hand of a little, blond girl, who I don't think was her child, because the proportions did not seem right. She was nearly 6 foot tall, and the age of the child, in the 5-8 year range, indicated to me that she should have been much taller, if she indeed was this woman's daughter. The little girl was carrying the limp leash of a French bulldog, who knew where to go (interesting enough, the lemurian, satanic psychics who live next door to me, and who I have identified as occult agents, allied with Maurice Strong, though probably unwittingly),also have a French bulldog--makes me wonder if a local breeder is a bigwig in the local satanic community). The little girl's mind seemed as vacant as the woman's. I just watched them walked by, and got on the bike path as quick as I could.
Well, I hope this story has everyone laughing. I am having a good laugh over it (except that it bothers me that anyone is brainwashed, and of course, I worry about the little kid). If the goddamned motherfuckers want me to be happy being an Isis, then I got a word of advice for you, "YOU SHOULD HAVE MADE ME SIX FEET TALL, INSTEAD OF GIVING ME THESE GODDAMNED COW BOOBS, YOU STUPID PRICKS". I haven't talked much about the recent bodily mutilations that I have endured, because I am certain that there are going to be major and drastic changes to my body soon. At the very least, I will have a double masectomy to get rid of these huge breast that I am now carrying around. I hate them with a passion. The good news is that since I got my extra set of ribs back, I have lost a lot of erogenous feeling in my breasts. That is good. For me, that is normal. I never have had erogeneous breast--just highly erogenous nipples, so it was driving me crazy to constantly get turned on by the constant touching of my own boobs (My torso is so fucked up, I can't lift my arm without brushing against the hated breast flesh). However, some Nazi doctor can't help but "create" his ideal, Barbie-doll woman, and so, the goddamned fuckers keep giving me these huge ass boobs--or maybe it is just an estrogen blast. I don't know. They will not be permanent additions to my body, and it alternately depresses and/or enrages me to look at them, so I just ignore them to the best of my ability.
However, there is no question that these occult motherfuckers are trying to present some depiction of Isis which I guess is supposed to mirror me. Those poor brainwashed satanists--they have no idea how bizarre and truly repulsive I found the entire presentation. I will give them credit for ransacking my brain--for I do have an unconscious dream image, filed away, of a mother holding a child's hand, but the dream had overtones of maternal love and solicitude, NOT that of a bizarre, brainwashed zombie.
I hate to dash the hopes of all these satanic, Isis/Amon RA devotees, but I am not Isis. I am not even a woman, something they may have figured out, because of all the anal secretions (no doubt caused by some implant) that I am experiencing. I guess they figure that if I won't fuck the MACHINE, vaginally, they will try to see if I respond anally. Well, I do have a very immature element in my psyche of a homosexual male (and I am working on a more complete understanding before I present it), but I can guarantee you, the problem is not with me--the problem is with YOU. I don't respond to evil, and I don't fuck machines, so that some non-organic life form can get off on my own orgasmic feeling. I know who and what I am sexually--I have said it over and over and over again, although some deluded fools insist on responding to my unconscious (which is incredibly rich and has a multitude of personalities, including that of the obedient child), instead of my conscious adult self. Apparently, I could get better control over these unconscious manifestations of personality if I learned to direct interdimensional travel, instead of being abducted by it. However, the problem, really is not one of ability, but trust. I believe that I was much more able to engage the interdimensional plane years ago, before the aliens poisoned my body with heavy metals and fried my brain on lithium. Now, they think that if they just keep chopping away at me, removing all my muscle, leaving fat, that I will be able to travel interdimensionally, but now I am so depressed with the state of my body, and I have lost all my natural energy (which came from my sacrum), when they chopped out my lower back and inverted my pelvis, that I truly have lost my own innate ability to initiate an adventurous undertaking. Hell, I can barely get the energy to clean my house.
Still, it is becoming obvious to me, that I am not going to be able to shake off these unwanted abductions, until I can master the interdimensional realm, so the question becomes who do I trust? For there are evil entities waiting to snap me up, the moment I leave this plane of existence. Do I trust the alien that is responsible for the mutilations of the last several months, cutting out all my muscle, destroying my self esteem (fuck Isis--I want my strong, powerful, muscular body back--and get rid of the goddamned boobs while you are at it)? How could such an advanced being not know the kind of damage that such a mutilation would cause in an intersexed being? How could anyone do such a traumatic violation of bodily integrity to another human being, without explicit and conscious consent? How could an advanced being not know that my hormonal and energy pattarns are male, and that by forcing me into a more feminine body, I would lose much of my energy, drive, mental abilities, and self-esteem--to the point of near death. If I hadn't figured out that my brain was shutting down due to a lack of testosterone, I could have gone into a coma, and God knows where I would be.
So, this is where I stand. I am glad I got it all out, because I expect this upcoming week to be very interesting. Obama overplayed his hand with the direct murder of the Navy Seals, and he and his reptilian patrons, are going to get a severe reality check soon--maybe starting this week. I just know that I need to get to the store and stock up on groceries. God watch over us--over this country, the Patriot Leadership team, and me.
Well, as I was coming around a bend, I saw a glimpse of a tall, statuesque woman, and she was moving in a trance like effect, and I said, "uh oh--satanist alert", and instantly veered off the path to the exit to a local street. I saw another government truck (no one inside it). This time I saw that it said "parks department". There was a senior citizen who looked like he was my local protector. I wanted to see if the woman would follow me, and sure enough, she did. This time, I was ready to really catch and fully perceive what was going on. You see, because of my autism, when my senses pick up something that triggers my alert system, I often go into an autistic state, which is a highly anxious state. It is not that I am afraid, but rather that, because I am on high alert, I am opening my senses up, to figure out what is the source of my alert, and when that happens, I become "autistic"--overwhelmed with sensory perception. When people are attempting to access my thoughts psychically, I become autistic, and then become anxious, with suspicion and autistic (overwhelming sensory input) perception. This is why all of these mind games, even if done by good intentioned people, are counterproductive. As I have explained time and time again, I respond better to direct dialogue, and ideas presented in writing. Any kind of mind game just trips the high anxiety of autism, and I find it difficult to get full and clear perception. However, this time, I was the one waiting to check out the satanist, and the street was clear, except for what I thought to be a "friendly" (if anyone was in the truck, they would have to open the door, which would warn me), so I just put all my attention on the woman.
Even with all my attention focussed on her, I couldn't believe how bizarre she really was. I find myself laughing now, but really it was surreal. She was tall and statuesque, with huge, full breasts, which I couldn't help but notice, because at 7 in the morning, on a public street, coming from a bike trail, she was dressed in some kind of floor length gown that looked to me more like pajamas than a dress. It kind of reminded me of something that a Grace Kelly character would wear, after drinks and before retiring--some kind of intimate boudoir nightwear that a woman only wears for her lover. There probably is some name for it, but I don't know much about women's clothes, so I will just describe it. It was a floor length, silky gray, pleated gown, but in a simple way, looking more like a pajama gown then a formal gown. Her breasts were fully covered, but loose in the halter style bodice. She was walking as if in a trance, staring straight ahead--a gray, living, breathing, "Statue of Liberty" (which has occult origins as well, by the way--it is a covert depiction of Isis). I remember thinking at the time, "oh my God, her mind is completely vacant"--like one of those brainwashed Mormon women, that the psych ops throw at me every now and then. If you have ever encountered a brainwashed person, (and I have), you will know what I mean, when I say that the mind was completely "brain WASHED". She was holding the hand of a little, blond girl, who I don't think was her child, because the proportions did not seem right. She was nearly 6 foot tall, and the age of the child, in the 5-8 year range, indicated to me that she should have been much taller, if she indeed was this woman's daughter. The little girl was carrying the limp leash of a French bulldog, who knew where to go (interesting enough, the lemurian, satanic psychics who live next door to me, and who I have identified as occult agents, allied with Maurice Strong, though probably unwittingly),also have a French bulldog--makes me wonder if a local breeder is a bigwig in the local satanic community). The little girl's mind seemed as vacant as the woman's. I just watched them walked by, and got on the bike path as quick as I could.
Well, I hope this story has everyone laughing. I am having a good laugh over it (except that it bothers me that anyone is brainwashed, and of course, I worry about the little kid). If the goddamned motherfuckers want me to be happy being an Isis, then I got a word of advice for you, "YOU SHOULD HAVE MADE ME SIX FEET TALL, INSTEAD OF GIVING ME THESE GODDAMNED COW BOOBS, YOU STUPID PRICKS". I haven't talked much about the recent bodily mutilations that I have endured, because I am certain that there are going to be major and drastic changes to my body soon. At the very least, I will have a double masectomy to get rid of these huge breast that I am now carrying around. I hate them with a passion. The good news is that since I got my extra set of ribs back, I have lost a lot of erogenous feeling in my breasts. That is good. For me, that is normal. I never have had erogeneous breast--just highly erogenous nipples, so it was driving me crazy to constantly get turned on by the constant touching of my own boobs (My torso is so fucked up, I can't lift my arm without brushing against the hated breast flesh). However, some Nazi doctor can't help but "create" his ideal, Barbie-doll woman, and so, the goddamned fuckers keep giving me these huge ass boobs--or maybe it is just an estrogen blast. I don't know. They will not be permanent additions to my body, and it alternately depresses and/or enrages me to look at them, so I just ignore them to the best of my ability.
However, there is no question that these occult motherfuckers are trying to present some depiction of Isis which I guess is supposed to mirror me. Those poor brainwashed satanists--they have no idea how bizarre and truly repulsive I found the entire presentation. I will give them credit for ransacking my brain--for I do have an unconscious dream image, filed away, of a mother holding a child's hand, but the dream had overtones of maternal love and solicitude, NOT that of a bizarre, brainwashed zombie.
I hate to dash the hopes of all these satanic, Isis/Amon RA devotees, but I am not Isis. I am not even a woman, something they may have figured out, because of all the anal secretions (no doubt caused by some implant) that I am experiencing. I guess they figure that if I won't fuck the MACHINE, vaginally, they will try to see if I respond anally. Well, I do have a very immature element in my psyche of a homosexual male (and I am working on a more complete understanding before I present it), but I can guarantee you, the problem is not with me--the problem is with YOU. I don't respond to evil, and I don't fuck machines, so that some non-organic life form can get off on my own orgasmic feeling. I know who and what I am sexually--I have said it over and over and over again, although some deluded fools insist on responding to my unconscious (which is incredibly rich and has a multitude of personalities, including that of the obedient child), instead of my conscious adult self. Apparently, I could get better control over these unconscious manifestations of personality if I learned to direct interdimensional travel, instead of being abducted by it. However, the problem, really is not one of ability, but trust. I believe that I was much more able to engage the interdimensional plane years ago, before the aliens poisoned my body with heavy metals and fried my brain on lithium. Now, they think that if they just keep chopping away at me, removing all my muscle, leaving fat, that I will be able to travel interdimensionally, but now I am so depressed with the state of my body, and I have lost all my natural energy (which came from my sacrum), when they chopped out my lower back and inverted my pelvis, that I truly have lost my own innate ability to initiate an adventurous undertaking. Hell, I can barely get the energy to clean my house.
Still, it is becoming obvious to me, that I am not going to be able to shake off these unwanted abductions, until I can master the interdimensional realm, so the question becomes who do I trust? For there are evil entities waiting to snap me up, the moment I leave this plane of existence. Do I trust the alien that is responsible for the mutilations of the last several months, cutting out all my muscle, destroying my self esteem (fuck Isis--I want my strong, powerful, muscular body back--and get rid of the goddamned boobs while you are at it)? How could such an advanced being not know the kind of damage that such a mutilation would cause in an intersexed being? How could anyone do such a traumatic violation of bodily integrity to another human being, without explicit and conscious consent? How could an advanced being not know that my hormonal and energy pattarns are male, and that by forcing me into a more feminine body, I would lose much of my energy, drive, mental abilities, and self-esteem--to the point of near death. If I hadn't figured out that my brain was shutting down due to a lack of testosterone, I could have gone into a coma, and God knows where I would be.
So, this is where I stand. I am glad I got it all out, because I expect this upcoming week to be very interesting. Obama overplayed his hand with the direct murder of the Navy Seals, and he and his reptilian patrons, are going to get a severe reality check soon--maybe starting this week. I just know that I need to get to the store and stock up on groceries. God watch over us--over this country, the Patriot Leadership team, and me.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
I have been experiencing a lot of background thought today
I have been experiencing a lot of background thought today, and as usual, I progress in self-understanding. I still don't think all the suffering, abuse and (not so) secretive exploitation has been necessary, but there are multiple forces of evil attempting to coerce and bend the direction of my life and choices, and so this shit happens. I have not written about it, but earlier in the week, I was "gang-stalked" by a group of satanists. Hell, I couldn't even walk down the street, without some scruffy, creepy young man, murmuring incoherently and making gestures. It was all pretty basic "terrorist" kind of stuff--as in, trying to provoke fear and terror through bizarre behavior. That is the way satanists are--they are terrorized into accepting and conforming to their evil belief system, and that is what they do to others--especially children, but adults will do as well, too.
These satanists were very well connected however. They were psychics among them, as they tracked me everywhere I went. One was pretending to make a UPS stop at the shoe repair place I was visiting (thanks to my Lemurian neighbors, the satanists know every move I make). He was the proud possessor of all the accoutrements-- van, brown uniform, the sign touch pad, and all, but he was definitely a satanist. My guess is that he literally was a UPS driver, pressed into service. However, the evil runs even deeper. There was a Homeland Security truck that had me under surveillance--whether benign or malign, I can't tell for sure, right now, but I am certain about the evil intent of another govt. decal-ed truck that I saw while biking. I am not sure what government dept. it was, but I definitely picked up an evil vibe, as I biked past its parked position on the trail about 9 am in the morning. However, the really weird thing is that it was a woman in the driver seat! Normally, I ignore all people I see on the bike trail, because after nearly a decade of being psych opped by mind control people from monks to satanists to Black or military psychics, I am just sick of all the goddamned control shit, and refuse to respond. However, this female driver looked familiar in a way. As soon as I looked up to stare at her, she looked down, but her body, her tan, her blond hair bob was the exact same one as Cindy Anthony! I am not kidding or exaggerating. Sometimes, I have to sit on things, because they seem so outlandish, but I know that Cindy Anthony is a satanist, and I know that she is well connected, so conceivably she was able to track down the blogger who saved the daughter she so ardently wanted to destroy.
This is not a hypothesis that I feel strongly about--it is just too weird to accept it; however, I am on the alert for any further contacts with this group (she was the only woman--mostly they were middle aged men, and scruffy, immature, male youths). I remember that one satanist I passed on the bike trail, said "Amon" as if in loudly declarative invocation. I remember Jordan Maxwell talking about how the Christian word, "Amen" is actually a satanically warped response, cleverly inserted into Christian liturgy by satanic double agents centuries ago, which is meant to refer to the god, Amon, which is associated with RA. This was a bummer for me, because I say "amen" as an emphatic and affirmative response quite frequently. In the KJV of the Bible, "amen" is often translated as "verily", so whenever I want to give a silent affirmative response to something, I now am saying, "verily, verily". No more "amen" for me
Sigh--if only it were that easy! For, while today, I did not encounter any satanists on my ride (at least not the gang stalking overkill that I had experienced earlier this week), still the satanists are doing everything to everything they can to negatively impact my life. I spoke with my mom yesterday, and after talking with her, I realized that the back pain and nausea that she is experiencing is the result of an amped up, alien virus overload. What I have been suffering for years, she has only recently began to experience, and with her advanced age, it is really bothering and handicapping her. Yet, there is practically nothing I can do to help her. Because she has sold me out to the satanists, my own power is diminished, and I am not really able to effect much good in others, but have to concentrate on myself. Sadly, the damned satanists use my empathetic feeling for my mom to open up and ride into my mind, and abduct me at night, so my responses have to be constrained and limited. Then, my brother has the same alien virus that I do, and I think that the handicap is really bothering him. So, why is the alien viral download being poured on? As a prelude to "Ascension" with negative aliens or assimilation to RA? I don't know. In my own way, I pray that all members of my family elude such a fate. I also pray that we manage to avoid a world war.
For I do know, that the negative aliens, specifically the negative Sirians, and their human minions are doing everything they can to start a major war in Syria. By now, it is predictable really--the grand plan for massive destruction (in this case the planned nuking of Auckland, NZ), falls through, so then the cabal scurries around with Plan B and Plan C--trying to start a race war here in this country, and trying to stir up a global conflagration centered in the Middle East--all to avoid their own rapidly diminishing power and wealth. Unfortunately, they have minions in positions of power that can still inflict major damage, and so today, there was the tragic news of 31 American troops being killed in the worst casualty incident of the Afghan war. The real tragedy is that they were sold out and ambushed by the Obamanation that is our Manchurian president. He had some help from Hamid Karzai. Why? Well, first of all, both these men WANT war--Obama for power and patronage from his evil overlords and handlers, and Karzai, so that all the billions in graft, courtesy of the tapped out American treasury and taxpayer, continues to pour in. Hell, American military intervention in a country is even more profitable than being the largest opium producer in the world...
I still am kicking around hypotheses of how and why this all went down, but I am certain that both those men were involved in the deliberate setup and ambush of our troops. No doubt, one objective was to inflame the American citizen into further war, but in Obama's case, pure hatred was involved (and maybe in Karzai's case as well--his notoriously no count brother was recently murdered as well). This is why yesterday I urged that Gillard be removed from office. As I said two years ago, after the Haiti earthquake, which Obama helped to conspire and contrive, "whenever there is an anti-Christ in power, it brings really bad karma to a nation". Thirty one of our best soldiers dead (33?), at the hands of their nominal commander-in-chief. I am sure that their brothers in arms are besides themselves with grief and rage right now. God, protect them from the snares of the evil one, and keep them sanely tempered, so that they don't go rogue in their righteous fury.
I also am concerned because Obama met earlier this week with the Sirian ambassador, Ford. Now, Ford never was confirmed by the Senate--Obama forced through his appointment during the recess. There was a reason that the Senate never confirmed him--THE MAN IS NEGATIVE CABAL, THROUGH AND THROUGH. I encourage all readers to check out his photos on the web. This Ford, as instructed by Obama, as prompted by the handlers (I am not sure, but I think Obama has gone back to F1 reptililian patronage), are not going to rest, until they have got another war going on in Syria. Anytime Syria is involved, the (negative) alien Sirians are involved in it somehow, and believe me, they wax fat over suffering and death, and it would be a crushing blow to humanity, if those evil aliens gained any more power. So what can I do? Nothing much, except to try to stay sane and calm, to do what little I can in my low energy state, and pray for the real leaders of my country as they try to figure out how to respond.
These satanists were very well connected however. They were psychics among them, as they tracked me everywhere I went. One was pretending to make a UPS stop at the shoe repair place I was visiting (thanks to my Lemurian neighbors, the satanists know every move I make). He was the proud possessor of all the accoutrements-- van, brown uniform, the sign touch pad, and all, but he was definitely a satanist. My guess is that he literally was a UPS driver, pressed into service. However, the evil runs even deeper. There was a Homeland Security truck that had me under surveillance--whether benign or malign, I can't tell for sure, right now, but I am certain about the evil intent of another govt. decal-ed truck that I saw while biking. I am not sure what government dept. it was, but I definitely picked up an evil vibe, as I biked past its parked position on the trail about 9 am in the morning. However, the really weird thing is that it was a woman in the driver seat! Normally, I ignore all people I see on the bike trail, because after nearly a decade of being psych opped by mind control people from monks to satanists to Black or military psychics, I am just sick of all the goddamned control shit, and refuse to respond. However, this female driver looked familiar in a way. As soon as I looked up to stare at her, she looked down, but her body, her tan, her blond hair bob was the exact same one as Cindy Anthony! I am not kidding or exaggerating. Sometimes, I have to sit on things, because they seem so outlandish, but I know that Cindy Anthony is a satanist, and I know that she is well connected, so conceivably she was able to track down the blogger who saved the daughter she so ardently wanted to destroy.
This is not a hypothesis that I feel strongly about--it is just too weird to accept it; however, I am on the alert for any further contacts with this group (she was the only woman--mostly they were middle aged men, and scruffy, immature, male youths). I remember that one satanist I passed on the bike trail, said "Amon" as if in loudly declarative invocation. I remember Jordan Maxwell talking about how the Christian word, "Amen" is actually a satanically warped response, cleverly inserted into Christian liturgy by satanic double agents centuries ago, which is meant to refer to the god, Amon, which is associated with RA. This was a bummer for me, because I say "amen" as an emphatic and affirmative response quite frequently. In the KJV of the Bible, "amen" is often translated as "verily", so whenever I want to give a silent affirmative response to something, I now am saying, "verily, verily". No more "amen" for me
Sigh--if only it were that easy! For, while today, I did not encounter any satanists on my ride (at least not the gang stalking overkill that I had experienced earlier this week), still the satanists are doing everything to everything they can to negatively impact my life. I spoke with my mom yesterday, and after talking with her, I realized that the back pain and nausea that she is experiencing is the result of an amped up, alien virus overload. What I have been suffering for years, she has only recently began to experience, and with her advanced age, it is really bothering and handicapping her. Yet, there is practically nothing I can do to help her. Because she has sold me out to the satanists, my own power is diminished, and I am not really able to effect much good in others, but have to concentrate on myself. Sadly, the damned satanists use my empathetic feeling for my mom to open up and ride into my mind, and abduct me at night, so my responses have to be constrained and limited. Then, my brother has the same alien virus that I do, and I think that the handicap is really bothering him. So, why is the alien viral download being poured on? As a prelude to "Ascension" with negative aliens or assimilation to RA? I don't know. In my own way, I pray that all members of my family elude such a fate. I also pray that we manage to avoid a world war.
For I do know, that the negative aliens, specifically the negative Sirians, and their human minions are doing everything they can to start a major war in Syria. By now, it is predictable really--the grand plan for massive destruction (in this case the planned nuking of Auckland, NZ), falls through, so then the cabal scurries around with Plan B and Plan C--trying to start a race war here in this country, and trying to stir up a global conflagration centered in the Middle East--all to avoid their own rapidly diminishing power and wealth. Unfortunately, they have minions in positions of power that can still inflict major damage, and so today, there was the tragic news of 31 American troops being killed in the worst casualty incident of the Afghan war. The real tragedy is that they were sold out and ambushed by the Obamanation that is our Manchurian president. He had some help from Hamid Karzai. Why? Well, first of all, both these men WANT war--Obama for power and patronage from his evil overlords and handlers, and Karzai, so that all the billions in graft, courtesy of the tapped out American treasury and taxpayer, continues to pour in. Hell, American military intervention in a country is even more profitable than being the largest opium producer in the world...
I still am kicking around hypotheses of how and why this all went down, but I am certain that both those men were involved in the deliberate setup and ambush of our troops. No doubt, one objective was to inflame the American citizen into further war, but in Obama's case, pure hatred was involved (and maybe in Karzai's case as well--his notoriously no count brother was recently murdered as well). This is why yesterday I urged that Gillard be removed from office. As I said two years ago, after the Haiti earthquake, which Obama helped to conspire and contrive, "whenever there is an anti-Christ in power, it brings really bad karma to a nation". Thirty one of our best soldiers dead (33?), at the hands of their nominal commander-in-chief. I am sure that their brothers in arms are besides themselves with grief and rage right now. God, protect them from the snares of the evil one, and keep them sanely tempered, so that they don't go rogue in their righteous fury.
I also am concerned because Obama met earlier this week with the Sirian ambassador, Ford. Now, Ford never was confirmed by the Senate--Obama forced through his appointment during the recess. There was a reason that the Senate never confirmed him--THE MAN IS NEGATIVE CABAL, THROUGH AND THROUGH. I encourage all readers to check out his photos on the web. This Ford, as instructed by Obama, as prompted by the handlers (I am not sure, but I think Obama has gone back to F1 reptililian patronage), are not going to rest, until they have got another war going on in Syria. Anytime Syria is involved, the (negative) alien Sirians are involved in it somehow, and believe me, they wax fat over suffering and death, and it would be a crushing blow to humanity, if those evil aliens gained any more power. So what can I do? Nothing much, except to try to stay sane and calm, to do what little I can in my low energy state, and pray for the real leaders of my country as they try to figure out how to respond.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Woke up in severe pain
Woke up in severe pain after being cut on again last nite. Yesterday, I figured out a cabal plan and tho I didn't write it down, I am sure all the psychics zeroed in on me figured it out. Good thing. Basically Maurice Strong and his satanic allies wanted to nuke Aukland, a city of 1/3 million people! Why? Because it was payback against a competitor, it sabotaged NZ, which is a planned sacrifice to the emerging landmass of the post-pole shift Lemuria, and it strengthened one of his top allies, the truly evil satanist, Julia Gillard. I usually don't like to comment on the leadership of other countries unless it impacts my own nation, but this woman needs to go. Yesterday. Not for me or for the US, but for the safety and well being of Australia. This is twice now that I have seen her positively gleeful at the thought of massive death and destruction--the first time was the aborted Strong/GE/Obama attempt to nuke the US while in India. Hillary Clinton was slated to be murdered, and she was giddy with glee, talking of something like, "we are going to really shake things up for you while you are here". This woman is losing all her own party's support, and her citizens are rebelling against the full airport scanners which primary function is to make Chertoff richer (Chertoff is part of the most evil cabal, who cashed in huge from 9/11). How could she be gleeful at the thought of massive destruction of her immediate neighbor which shares the same historical and cultural tradition as her own country? Simple--she is hellishly evil. As long as this woman has any power whatsoever, the people of Australia are at high risk of suffering from the same fate she wished to inflict upon NZ. So now that I have said that piece, it is up to any Aussie patriots to move to save their country from the rankest of arch evil.
As for me, I am suffering terribly. Last nite viral download was so strong that nerve pain in my legs literally took me down and had me crawling on all fours. My house is a mess because I am too sick to do even the most routine of cleanup. Nor am I going to be able to do anything today. The alien abductors cut on my lower back last night, and now, not only am I in chronic nerve pain on my legs, but my lower back is very messed up on my right side (complementing the left side which has been painfully messed up for weeks now). I literally cannot walk or stand straight. While I have a lot of nerve pain, I have no sensation in my legs. However, it is the back pain that is driving me nuts. Once again, when I woke up this morning, the body instinctively tried to arch and push forward into its normal, original position, which was destroyed when they took out my sacral nerves and supporting pelvic girdle muscle in order to carve out a "female" body pelvic stance, so all the goddamned Isis worshippers could have their female avatar. When the fuckers did that, they stole all my natural high energy and drive, which even on my best day, I no longer have, so that life's actions and movements are all a constant endurance test. Now, hobbling on numbed, painful legs with a stooped back is a constant endurance test.
I am in too much pain to go any further--going to go back to bed to try to feel better so that I can get up to do what i got to do, later. There is a lot more going on, but I need to go to bed try to feel better.
As for me, I am suffering terribly. Last nite viral download was so strong that nerve pain in my legs literally took me down and had me crawling on all fours. My house is a mess because I am too sick to do even the most routine of cleanup. Nor am I going to be able to do anything today. The alien abductors cut on my lower back last night, and now, not only am I in chronic nerve pain on my legs, but my lower back is very messed up on my right side (complementing the left side which has been painfully messed up for weeks now). I literally cannot walk or stand straight. While I have a lot of nerve pain, I have no sensation in my legs. However, it is the back pain that is driving me nuts. Once again, when I woke up this morning, the body instinctively tried to arch and push forward into its normal, original position, which was destroyed when they took out my sacral nerves and supporting pelvic girdle muscle in order to carve out a "female" body pelvic stance, so all the goddamned Isis worshippers could have their female avatar. When the fuckers did that, they stole all my natural high energy and drive, which even on my best day, I no longer have, so that life's actions and movements are all a constant endurance test. Now, hobbling on numbed, painful legs with a stooped back is a constant endurance test.
I am in too much pain to go any further--going to go back to bed to try to feel better so that I can get up to do what i got to do, later. There is a lot more going on, but I need to go to bed try to feel better.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Woke up in severe pain
Woke up in severe pain after another night of invasive mutilations--cutting on my rib cage (what is left of it) and back. Of course it was the goddamned Sirians, who in their unbelievably arrogant stupidity and controlling hubris, actually think I am going to be an avatar for them. YOU MOTHERFUCKERS COULDN'T BE MORE WRONG--I DESPISE YOUR YOUR WORLDVIEW, YOUR CONTROLLING TACTICS, AND THE MUTILATED, MUSCLELESS MESS YOU HAVE MADE OF MY ONCE BEAUTIFUL BODY!!
So how does this shit happen? The question really is, when has it not happened? Various factions of aliens have been involved in the manipulation of human being since "The Fall". They have used mind control religion, which includes nearly every religion on the planet, to keep us in an ideological slavery of dualism and lies, which pervert a true understanding of, and relationship to, reality.
There have always been a few individuals who have successfully risen above this dualism, and we worship and/or venerate them, but ultimately their words, teachings, and witness are compromised as well. Of course, for me as a Christian, the penultimate witness to the Truth is Jesus Christ, but I recognize now that even Jesus had to deal with meddling and counterproductive alien entities. I now realize that, just like me, everyone wanted a "piece" of Jesus, to appropriate his words and Presence to suit their alien agenda. Because he was reared in Galilee, where the Sirians and the cult of RA had been omnipresent for centuries, no doubt he was tapped and tagged, early on in his adult life, as a potential avatar to be used and exploited for the purpose of renewing the mind control elements of his religion. One major difference between Jesus and myself is that I think that he had a much more agreeable and emotionally intelligent personality. Thus, I think he was able to accommodate the Sirians/cult of RA understanding and expectations of his mission, all the while hewing to his Father's will. But there came a point where there was an irreconcilable difference between his Father's will and the alien agenda, and that is the point where Jesus "set his face to Jerusalem" knowing that he would meet a prophet's death.
You see, the ancient mythological concept of the Greek gods actually is a more accurate reflection of the role and behavior of these powerful and interfering aliens play in humanity's lives, than the kool-aid drinking notion of "benevolent space brothers". You see these aliens/gods/watchers are morally not much different than us humans. They have their small, chauvinistic mindsets and petty agendas that they wish to push, and they quarrel and war incessantly among themselves to institute them. There are various alien factions which jealously guard and appropriate the gene pools on Earth, with which they intervened through infusion of their own DNA, and like dysfunctional parents, they insist on strictly controlling the destiny of their DNA "offspring". That is, our lives are not our own, but belong to them.
As I said, I think for three years, Jesus tried to accommodate both the alien agenda and his Father's will, but the breaking point came when he refused to become a worldly king. You see the Sirians/RA wanted THEIR progeny, specifically the northern tribes of Israel, and to a lesser extent, the southern tribes, to be RULERS OF THE WORLD. Why? Because of an immature chauvinism, of "I'm better than you, because "my pet dog--or cat--can beat your DNA-related pet animal. However, the Romans were the kingpins at that time, and given that Rome has reptiles underneath the city (or did until recently), I think it fair to say, that the reptilians were their Patrons/Watchers. The Sirians/Ra had everything in place--the ark and other ancient artifacts were in hidden position. They had insinuated to that reprobate, Herod, to build a new temple on the power vortex spot. All that was needed was for a spiritually powerful person to use them, in order to dominate all the world around him. Before Jesus was recognized as the Chosen One by the spiritually aware of Israel, the aliens had tagged him as the "Chosen One". To make sure that he complied with expectations, Jesus had placed among his disciples, people who were more amenable to alien prodding, if not downright agents of the Sirians, prominent among them, the Zealots, who were as zealous to become as politically dominant as the aliens themselves longed for dominance in their interdimensional circle. Now, Jesus, being the astute judge of character that he was, probably knew what was transpiring around him, but being a spiritual man, he always hoped for the best, and thought that preaching of his Father's reality, transformation and conversion would save, not only him, but all of Israel. It didn't, and the gap between his Father's will and the Sirians agenda eventually grew wider and wider, until there was a definitive split, and that was when the Zealots, Essenes, and Judas turned against their rabbi, and hateful animus was built up and manipulated in a lightning strike of reversal, so that he was tortured and crucified.
Now, I have found myself tagged, "the Chosen one", but unlike Jesus, I do not have the sociable charm or gentle nature to accommodate those who will not accept the fullness of my person and beliefs. I am crucified NOW, because I am not emotionally intelligent enough to reach some mutually acceptable understanding between my own vision of who I am, and the Father's will for me, vis a vis the expectations of the aliens, and various human agents--some of whom are firmly in the alien camp, and some of whom are just psychologically and spiritually immature, and are looking for a "Chosen One" to lead them to political dominance.
Of course, a big part of my problem is my lesbianism. As long as I am in a female body, I will remain lesbian, and if I ever find myself in a male body (and God, I hope I do), I will still respect my lesbian past, and will honor and acknowledge the validity of homosexual relationships, as long as they correspond to the same standards of morality I expect from heterosexual couples. I could always be like the Apostle Paul (who I have some connection to), and hate my homosexuality, but I know that is a dead end trap, and I won't make that mistake again.
Another complicating factor is the sheer diversity of my genome. I don't have just ONE alien faction that can claim genetic origin--I have SEVERAL! As a matter of fact, I wonder if I carry the genes of every alien faction that ever interfered with humanity's DNA! This is not a gift, so much as a curse, for now I have multiple alien factions fighting over me, all claiming me to be a "chosen one", an avatar for their clique--again, not because of God's will or humanity's best interest, but because they want their prized pet to win first place at the show! So, whether it is the dog-related Sirians, the cat-related Sirians, or the reptilian-Sirian hybrids, the entire Sirian complex want me as an Isis, which is why they are the ones mutilating my body. (Isis is the ancient goddess associated with Sirius). The reptilians want me as a powerless Osiris. Both of these groupings would like to see me as nun in the Catholic church, for this is one way of ensuring both creative powerlessness, and an acceptably nurturing Big-Teated mummy for all the dependent boys and girls who refuse to take responsibility for their own salvation.
There is a strong occult faction that wants to see me as Isis because they long for a New World Order in which Europe, with the spiritual capital in Jerusalem (and guess what will be the prime fixture of the planned third temple? You guessed it--an artifact of immense power that just needs a powerful person of spirit to activate it). Their view is more pagan than Christian, but again, I have to meet certain criteria in order to meet their expectations. In their mindset, the lesbianism has to be repudiated, for who is going to follow an avatar who is REAL, and true to herself. Of course, they wouldn't mind me having lesbian flings, as long as it is all in the closet. This occult clique also wants me assimilated into the MACHINE, so that the words of RA come out of my mouth, and RA once again, more directly rules this planet.
Then there are those of the Bilderberger society (see my recent dream), who want me as an avatar for China. Apparently, I have another deep, unconscious connection to the Buddha, and that is the mind and witness these Bilderbergers hope to exploit in me. Now, Maurice Strong is at the head of this particular faction. Now why do they want/need me as a Buddha-like avatar? Because they want China to be the new dominant world power, but China lacks one element that all great world powers have--a strong mind control religion.
As an undergrad, I read a lot of sociology of religion (Durkheim), and history of religion (Christopher Dawson), that convinced me, quite objectively and apart from confessional beliefs, that religion (typically, an "empire" religion) is a prerequisite for the release of large-scale, unconscious creativity found in all the great civilizations of the world. Now, while I believe that this is true, I believe that humanity finally has a chance to step into a more mature religion or spirituality, which not only releases the freedom and creativity of the unconscious, but does so without the mind control features that ensure psychological immaturity and dependence. However the Bilderbergers are specifically looking for that "old-time religion". They want a population that is fear-filled and psychologically dependent. They desperately want China to be the next great world civilization, but it needs a strong empire religion, for China's main religion is Confucianism, which is a very limited religion of tradition, based on ancestor veneration, and already it has lost hold over the urban population. They want a new "Buddha" (Eastern avatar), whose words and witness they can use to mold into a new empire religion to inspire and feed the Chinese masses.
Who has a hand in all of these possible scenarios--the Jesuits, and maybe, the Bilderbergers. They literally do not care if I am a new Isis, a castrated Osiris, or a "buddha", for they can use me either way to further their mind-control agenda, and ensure that humanity stays dependent and duped for another 26,000 years. Well, I cannot allow that to happen, at least not under my name and witness. Insofar as I am the "chosen one", it will be to reject all mind control and abusive religions. I do not know if I will ever be free enough to state what I truly believe, instead of trying to think and write, when I am sick and in pain from the constant downloads and drugs, but I know what I am NOT, and I will proclaim that as long as I draw breath.
Now, I have to get up and try to take a shower, when I can barely hold myself upright...such is the lot of the "chosen one".
So how does this shit happen? The question really is, when has it not happened? Various factions of aliens have been involved in the manipulation of human being since "The Fall". They have used mind control religion, which includes nearly every religion on the planet, to keep us in an ideological slavery of dualism and lies, which pervert a true understanding of, and relationship to, reality.
There have always been a few individuals who have successfully risen above this dualism, and we worship and/or venerate them, but ultimately their words, teachings, and witness are compromised as well. Of course, for me as a Christian, the penultimate witness to the Truth is Jesus Christ, but I recognize now that even Jesus had to deal with meddling and counterproductive alien entities. I now realize that, just like me, everyone wanted a "piece" of Jesus, to appropriate his words and Presence to suit their alien agenda. Because he was reared in Galilee, where the Sirians and the cult of RA had been omnipresent for centuries, no doubt he was tapped and tagged, early on in his adult life, as a potential avatar to be used and exploited for the purpose of renewing the mind control elements of his religion. One major difference between Jesus and myself is that I think that he had a much more agreeable and emotionally intelligent personality. Thus, I think he was able to accommodate the Sirians/cult of RA understanding and expectations of his mission, all the while hewing to his Father's will. But there came a point where there was an irreconcilable difference between his Father's will and the alien agenda, and that is the point where Jesus "set his face to Jerusalem" knowing that he would meet a prophet's death.
You see, the ancient mythological concept of the Greek gods actually is a more accurate reflection of the role and behavior of these powerful and interfering aliens play in humanity's lives, than the kool-aid drinking notion of "benevolent space brothers". You see these aliens/gods/watchers are morally not much different than us humans. They have their small, chauvinistic mindsets and petty agendas that they wish to push, and they quarrel and war incessantly among themselves to institute them. There are various alien factions which jealously guard and appropriate the gene pools on Earth, with which they intervened through infusion of their own DNA, and like dysfunctional parents, they insist on strictly controlling the destiny of their DNA "offspring". That is, our lives are not our own, but belong to them.
As I said, I think for three years, Jesus tried to accommodate both the alien agenda and his Father's will, but the breaking point came when he refused to become a worldly king. You see the Sirians/RA wanted THEIR progeny, specifically the northern tribes of Israel, and to a lesser extent, the southern tribes, to be RULERS OF THE WORLD. Why? Because of an immature chauvinism, of "I'm better than you, because "my pet dog--or cat--can beat your DNA-related pet animal. However, the Romans were the kingpins at that time, and given that Rome has reptiles underneath the city (or did until recently), I think it fair to say, that the reptilians were their Patrons/Watchers. The Sirians/Ra had everything in place--the ark and other ancient artifacts were in hidden position. They had insinuated to that reprobate, Herod, to build a new temple on the power vortex spot. All that was needed was for a spiritually powerful person to use them, in order to dominate all the world around him. Before Jesus was recognized as the Chosen One by the spiritually aware of Israel, the aliens had tagged him as the "Chosen One". To make sure that he complied with expectations, Jesus had placed among his disciples, people who were more amenable to alien prodding, if not downright agents of the Sirians, prominent among them, the Zealots, who were as zealous to become as politically dominant as the aliens themselves longed for dominance in their interdimensional circle. Now, Jesus, being the astute judge of character that he was, probably knew what was transpiring around him, but being a spiritual man, he always hoped for the best, and thought that preaching of his Father's reality, transformation and conversion would save, not only him, but all of Israel. It didn't, and the gap between his Father's will and the Sirians agenda eventually grew wider and wider, until there was a definitive split, and that was when the Zealots, Essenes, and Judas turned against their rabbi, and hateful animus was built up and manipulated in a lightning strike of reversal, so that he was tortured and crucified.
Now, I have found myself tagged, "the Chosen one", but unlike Jesus, I do not have the sociable charm or gentle nature to accommodate those who will not accept the fullness of my person and beliefs. I am crucified NOW, because I am not emotionally intelligent enough to reach some mutually acceptable understanding between my own vision of who I am, and the Father's will for me, vis a vis the expectations of the aliens, and various human agents--some of whom are firmly in the alien camp, and some of whom are just psychologically and spiritually immature, and are looking for a "Chosen One" to lead them to political dominance.
Of course, a big part of my problem is my lesbianism. As long as I am in a female body, I will remain lesbian, and if I ever find myself in a male body (and God, I hope I do), I will still respect my lesbian past, and will honor and acknowledge the validity of homosexual relationships, as long as they correspond to the same standards of morality I expect from heterosexual couples. I could always be like the Apostle Paul (who I have some connection to), and hate my homosexuality, but I know that is a dead end trap, and I won't make that mistake again.
Another complicating factor is the sheer diversity of my genome. I don't have just ONE alien faction that can claim genetic origin--I have SEVERAL! As a matter of fact, I wonder if I carry the genes of every alien faction that ever interfered with humanity's DNA! This is not a gift, so much as a curse, for now I have multiple alien factions fighting over me, all claiming me to be a "chosen one", an avatar for their clique--again, not because of God's will or humanity's best interest, but because they want their prized pet to win first place at the show! So, whether it is the dog-related Sirians, the cat-related Sirians, or the reptilian-Sirian hybrids, the entire Sirian complex want me as an Isis, which is why they are the ones mutilating my body. (Isis is the ancient goddess associated with Sirius). The reptilians want me as a powerless Osiris. Both of these groupings would like to see me as nun in the Catholic church, for this is one way of ensuring both creative powerlessness, and an acceptably nurturing Big-Teated mummy for all the dependent boys and girls who refuse to take responsibility for their own salvation.
There is a strong occult faction that wants to see me as Isis because they long for a New World Order in which Europe, with the spiritual capital in Jerusalem (and guess what will be the prime fixture of the planned third temple? You guessed it--an artifact of immense power that just needs a powerful person of spirit to activate it). Their view is more pagan than Christian, but again, I have to meet certain criteria in order to meet their expectations. In their mindset, the lesbianism has to be repudiated, for who is going to follow an avatar who is REAL, and true to herself. Of course, they wouldn't mind me having lesbian flings, as long as it is all in the closet. This occult clique also wants me assimilated into the MACHINE, so that the words of RA come out of my mouth, and RA once again, more directly rules this planet.
Then there are those of the Bilderberger society (see my recent dream), who want me as an avatar for China. Apparently, I have another deep, unconscious connection to the Buddha, and that is the mind and witness these Bilderbergers hope to exploit in me. Now, Maurice Strong is at the head of this particular faction. Now why do they want/need me as a Buddha-like avatar? Because they want China to be the new dominant world power, but China lacks one element that all great world powers have--a strong mind control religion.
As an undergrad, I read a lot of sociology of religion (Durkheim), and history of religion (Christopher Dawson), that convinced me, quite objectively and apart from confessional beliefs, that religion (typically, an "empire" religion) is a prerequisite for the release of large-scale, unconscious creativity found in all the great civilizations of the world. Now, while I believe that this is true, I believe that humanity finally has a chance to step into a more mature religion or spirituality, which not only releases the freedom and creativity of the unconscious, but does so without the mind control features that ensure psychological immaturity and dependence. However the Bilderbergers are specifically looking for that "old-time religion". They want a population that is fear-filled and psychologically dependent. They desperately want China to be the next great world civilization, but it needs a strong empire religion, for China's main religion is Confucianism, which is a very limited religion of tradition, based on ancestor veneration, and already it has lost hold over the urban population. They want a new "Buddha" (Eastern avatar), whose words and witness they can use to mold into a new empire religion to inspire and feed the Chinese masses.
Who has a hand in all of these possible scenarios--the Jesuits, and maybe, the Bilderbergers. They literally do not care if I am a new Isis, a castrated Osiris, or a "buddha", for they can use me either way to further their mind-control agenda, and ensure that humanity stays dependent and duped for another 26,000 years. Well, I cannot allow that to happen, at least not under my name and witness. Insofar as I am the "chosen one", it will be to reject all mind control and abusive religions. I do not know if I will ever be free enough to state what I truly believe, instead of trying to think and write, when I am sick and in pain from the constant downloads and drugs, but I know what I am NOT, and I will proclaim that as long as I draw breath.
Now, I have to get up and try to take a shower, when I can barely hold myself upright...such is the lot of the "chosen one".
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Another lost day
Another lost day--between excessive estrogen and psychotropics. Slept most of the day. Unable to concentrate or focus on anything at all. My back and joints ar ein alot of pain from the drugs. My tongue is coated with white fur and my mouth is coated with slime--hormonal imbalance. I dont know who is drugging me, but I know it wont work. My brain is incapable of responding to the implants. the brain will shut down in self protection first, which is why i sleep so much. the only wy to get me to respond to implants is to wire my hormonal system back the way that Gjod designed it--as a male. I am always right --well, overwhelmingly often-- but no one listens to me. It takes years of suffering to get a response. well, i am suffering, terribly. too sick to wire anymore. go to sleep, watch tv.
Monday, August 1, 2011
My conviction
My conviction that I am doing the right and authentic actions, and being true to myself remains strong. Yet, I am suffering from the low energy and handicapped brain function caused by excess estrogen. I had so much estrogen in me this morning that I had to pop T tabs, just to be able to make sense of my "morning newspaper"--the MSM lightweight articles. But even with a lot of testosterone in me, I cannot shake off the debilitating effects of estrogen. I have so much information in my head, but I am running on 2 cylinders, not 8, and I don't have the energy and stamina to make creative connections and insights. It is incredible to me that any moron would think that I am capable of functioning as a hormonal female. Oh, and I forgot the autism that it causes, too. Today, I was freaking out as I rode my bike downtown. I literally was overwhelmed by the sheer number of people, cars, and noise. I have biked and walked downtown many times, and never have I been that autistic.
Once again, they are messing with the implanted meds I am given. After days of no thyroid meds (which is why my stomach was so messed up with indigestion), they started it back again. I know because I feel the stress in my right throat. I really don't have a thyroid problem. The cabal's cockroach doctors give it to me as a way of keeping me functioning without giving me the requisite level of testostorone that I need, just to be functional. It doesn't work, but they have me so wired into estrogen that I cannot even get the boost my body and brain desperately craves from synthetic testosterone supplementation. I also worry that the excess thyroid hormones are causing my parathyroid to work extra hard, and I already have a problem with that. My left parathyroid is dead, though the doctors won't/can't admit it. If I lose my right parathyroid, I will be in deep trouble, because it is crucial for calcium regulation. As a matter of fact, I worry if all the extra work is causing some kind of adenomal (sp) enlarging. The parathyroid is a difficult organ to work with, and I only have one set left....I am sure that I lost the left set as an autoimmune response to the alien virus. I also am wondering if the PIB's pulled my vitamin B12, for I am having the symptoms of B12 deficiency--tummyache, no appetite, but am "blood sugar hungry", etc. It is possible, however, that these symptoms are caused by some psychotropic. I hope so, for it is very disheartening to be so brain dead and mind wiped.
There is a lot going on, and a lot of information that I need to work through, but I literally cannot think. Maybe tomorrow things will be clearer. I seem to start out with the greatest level of energy in the morning (and it ain't much, baby), and just dwindle down to absolutely nothing. This goes counter to my own creative cycle--I am a night thinker, but all I can do now is go to bed, and hope tomorrow is better than today.
Once again, they are messing with the implanted meds I am given. After days of no thyroid meds (which is why my stomach was so messed up with indigestion), they started it back again. I know because I feel the stress in my right throat. I really don't have a thyroid problem. The cabal's cockroach doctors give it to me as a way of keeping me functioning without giving me the requisite level of testostorone that I need, just to be functional. It doesn't work, but they have me so wired into estrogen that I cannot even get the boost my body and brain desperately craves from synthetic testosterone supplementation. I also worry that the excess thyroid hormones are causing my parathyroid to work extra hard, and I already have a problem with that. My left parathyroid is dead, though the doctors won't/can't admit it. If I lose my right parathyroid, I will be in deep trouble, because it is crucial for calcium regulation. As a matter of fact, I worry if all the extra work is causing some kind of adenomal (sp) enlarging. The parathyroid is a difficult organ to work with, and I only have one set left....I am sure that I lost the left set as an autoimmune response to the alien virus. I also am wondering if the PIB's pulled my vitamin B12, for I am having the symptoms of B12 deficiency--tummyache, no appetite, but am "blood sugar hungry", etc. It is possible, however, that these symptoms are caused by some psychotropic. I hope so, for it is very disheartening to be so brain dead and mind wiped.
There is a lot going on, and a lot of information that I need to work through, but I literally cannot think. Maybe tomorrow things will be clearer. I seem to start out with the greatest level of energy in the morning (and it ain't much, baby), and just dwindle down to absolutely nothing. This goes counter to my own creative cycle--I am a night thinker, but all I can do now is go to bed, and hope tomorrow is better than today.
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