I am suffering from heart pains--I don't know if it is the goddamned virus, or legitimate problems with my heart. I am unable to exercise, and the fucking virus causes my blood pressure to go sky high. Most of the time, I am walking around with severely high blood pressure.
I went to dr. and bp was 160 over 90. I always used to have 120 over 80. I used to be physically fit, energetic and happy. Now, I am a physical wreck, barely able to move, and on top of everything else, I am suffering from heart pain. The dr. prescribed naxproxen and also temazapam, which used to be the "sweetest" drug I ever took, because it made my natural insomnia totally disappear. Now my insomnia is completely UNnatural, and even more hellishly worse and painful than I could have even imagined 10 years ago, when I used to pray for sleep.
Of course, the drugs are contaminated, but there is nothing I can do about that. I have to hope that somehow they still will be efficacious. Instead, they are giving me heart pain, and the 15 mg of tempazapam has me going out of my mind with autistic, semi-psychotic rage. In short, the drugs cannot alter the damage that the fucking nano-virus on them do. Tempazapam used to take away my anxiety; now my legs feel like they are crawling with bugs, I am pounding my head, my blood pressure is skyrocketing (I can always tell by the facial flush), and i feel like i am going out of my mind. This is medicine--dog sirian style. its ok. fucking assholes will never get anything out of me but a destroyed body. maybe tempazapam is working, because i feel quite calm about this resolution---fucking assholes will never get shit out of me. as a matter of fact, tomorrow, I will start venting spleen again. right now, got to go take the only alcohol i have in house-- a couple of gin minis...got to say that as the fucking viral cytokine storm wears off, i do feel a little calmer, but not calm enough. alcohol, here i come.
no way i am going to doctor for heart pains. will know if i have heart attack, but cannot bear the thought of some nazi pig touching my mutilated chest and fake cow boobs. disgusts me beyond belief.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Thursday, January 5, 2012
This is just a quick post
This is just a quick post, as I have a lot going on. Last night, all my hopeful outpouring was probably just flying a flag in the stiff wind of Nazi/occult/Faction 2 hate, for once again they have the upper hand. I still maintain my optimism, and stand by every word I said, but there are going to be many troughs in the months ahead, and the Good Guys are definitely in one. So am I--I was in agonizing pain all night, from the latest "Snooki" mutilations. Three Vicodin failed to ease the pain as my shoulders and back are so unnaturally misaligned that they cannot lie down properly. Of course, as Kold Kadaver's continued presence on my blog reveals, the occult Nazis who are responsible for the mutilation do not care. They are the very epitome of sadism, and they enjoy the pain of others, as does the master, MACHINE-RA, that they serve in not only biological life, but also in the biological afterlife perversity maintained as a "Kold Kadaver" brain function kept alive cybernetically.
The fact that I could not permanently delete Kold Kadaver via the software user controls is a sign to me that this blog has been hacked by the KaBal of Kold Kadavers--that is, the spiritual dead. All other indications reveal this as well, since Barack Obama, a defiantly proud Kold Kadaver, once more, is exercising power--all backed by the terrorism of Faction 2. I will write more on that later, but I must say that this what I expected all along, so I am not surprised, just in pain, real physical pain, that there seems to be no way around this hell, but only through it.
However, I am posting this blog immediately because I wish to alert the Windsor Royal family, especially Kate Middleton and Prince William, that they are targeted for murder by these Faction 2 terrorists. Of course, the buried corpse at their Sandringham estate is a plot thread that they hope to use to create a royal scandal that ensues in upcoming weeks and months. However, my dream from last night warns me that THE DANGER TO WILLIAM AND KATE IS IMMINENT AND EXTREME, so I would caution them to place their lives in the custody of only those few people they completely trust. Remember how Diana died--these occult terrorists are experts at making a murder look natural.
I know it is hard to maintain equanimity when one is under such relentless siege. Believe me, I feel the pain of it personally. However, it can be done, and it must be done, or the future belongs to the Kold Kadavers of the world. Once again, I am going to start reading my posts out loud, because I do not know how controlled my blog entries are by the Faction 2 terrorists, and if my words are not getting out via printed media, i will say it out loud to the world.
Long live the free and spiritually alive people of the world!
PS: I have a new designation for these occult terrorists--the KaBal KKK, that is the KaBal "Kold Kadavers Klique".
The fact that I could not permanently delete Kold Kadaver via the software user controls is a sign to me that this blog has been hacked by the KaBal of Kold Kadavers--that is, the spiritual dead. All other indications reveal this as well, since Barack Obama, a defiantly proud Kold Kadaver, once more, is exercising power--all backed by the terrorism of Faction 2. I will write more on that later, but I must say that this what I expected all along, so I am not surprised, just in pain, real physical pain, that there seems to be no way around this hell, but only through it.
However, I am posting this blog immediately because I wish to alert the Windsor Royal family, especially Kate Middleton and Prince William, that they are targeted for murder by these Faction 2 terrorists. Of course, the buried corpse at their Sandringham estate is a plot thread that they hope to use to create a royal scandal that ensues in upcoming weeks and months. However, my dream from last night warns me that THE DANGER TO WILLIAM AND KATE IS IMMINENT AND EXTREME, so I would caution them to place their lives in the custody of only those few people they completely trust. Remember how Diana died--these occult terrorists are experts at making a murder look natural.
I know it is hard to maintain equanimity when one is under such relentless siege. Believe me, I feel the pain of it personally. However, it can be done, and it must be done, or the future belongs to the Kold Kadavers of the world. Once again, I am going to start reading my posts out loud, because I do not know how controlled my blog entries are by the Faction 2 terrorists, and if my words are not getting out via printed media, i will say it out loud to the world.
Long live the free and spiritually alive people of the world!
PS: I have a new designation for these occult terrorists--the KaBal KKK, that is the KaBal "Kold Kadavers Klique".
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
I dread to sleep tonight,
I dread to sleep tonight, so I thought I would post a bedtime piece, since writing often vents out frustration and anger. However, the first few minutes sitting at my computer have not been calming at all.
First, I see "Snooki" on a MSM home page. Now, I am trying to avoid being negative, so I won't launch into a critique of our narcissistic and meaningless celebrity culture. What really ticked me off, though, was that it was about "slender Snooki's" body type. Well, first of all, let me say that I don't find women of her body type, sexy or appealing in any way. I am not impressed with a slight build and oversized, fake boobs (except for Dolly Parton, but in her case, it is her charm which is so mesmerizing!). What really angered me about the picture though, is that it reminds me of my own constant misery. I was cut on again last night, and I have felt the pain all day--once again, the ribs have been constricted and shaved, so that I have these outsized breasts drooping over a tiny rib cage. I quit worrying about the goddamned boobs already. They don't belong there, and when I get autonomy over my own body back, they will be gone one way or another. However, I do mind the pain and misery caused by the constricted rib cage and thoracic cavity. I can't even ride a bike without bad asthma kicking in, and my ribs hurt so badly that it is hard to sit, hard to breathe, and I find myself walking stooped, because I don't have the muscular strength to walk upright. My back is so messed up with all the mutilations that I haven't even been able to walk up and down the alley a couple of times. I bought an exercise wheel used as rehabilitating exercise for invalids and the elderly, but even that makes me asthmatic, and I can only use it for stretches of two to three minutes.
So, I sign on, and find that I have a "follower"--a goddamned Nazi named "Kold Kadaver" whose profile brags about being dead, and apparently plugged into MACHINE-RA! Lucky f-ing me...just what I always wanted--a Nazi cadaver following me around. So I had to figure out how to delete his blonde, flat-topped, Fourth Reich-uniformed, DEAD ass from my journal. Yuck! However, I did figure it out, and along the way read some comments that I didn't even know existed, though I do remember getting an e-mail from my ex-sister-in-law, expressing alarm about this blog, which she stumbled on to by accident. She herself is an entrenched dope addict, but no doubt she was concerned that I had lost my mind.
No, I haven't lost my mind, just millions and millions of neurons. Seriously, I tried to read a book, and I now read like I did in fourth grade--slowly, and pronouncing the words out loud in my head. I used to be a real speed reader, with excellent comprehension and recall. I try to reactivate the old faculty, and I just cannot comprehend the reading at my once-familiar speed. It's as if all the damned drugs, especially the lithium that nearly killed me, have slowed my mind down so much that my brain no longer moves at a natural, rapid speed. However, my problems with reading go deeper than that. I am suffering from severe ADHD--not just with books, but with Internet research as well. I suppose that my handlers really don't mind much, so long as their psychics can read my thoughts, while I skim headlines, but I know that insights don't just hit me like lightning thunderbolts. I have reams of images and data in my head which I am able to access when the inspirational bug starts to buzz. It is important that I keep updating my mental material and knowledge, because time is critical, and this year is going to be as hugely demanding as 2011--at least for the next few months, as well as, I think, a couple of other crucial, high-tension points.
Of course, sometimes dreams can provide inspirational material, but mostly I just have nightmares. Such was the case last night. I have thought about it all day, and do believe that I did encounter a satanist last night. I don't know who he was, but in my dream, my door was open, and though he knocked, it is frightening to realize the level of my vulnerability. I guess that it helps that in my dreams I can protect myself somewhat--or otherwise, I wouldn't have shut the door on him. However, some things I seem unable to control--like the continual cutting on my body. I don't know who is doing it--the religously fundamentalist dog Sirians or Salusa's faction.
I have a feeling that I was offered some kind of haven last night, probably the Black psychic community, but I declined. I am not sure why, but I am a reasonable person, so there must be a good reason. Maybe they want me to give up all claim to a White self-identity--something I don't feel comfortable doing, although if I am in a Black skin, the Black identity will naturally grow on me.
However, I am not ashamed or unhappy with genes that are White, or Brown, or Black, or Asian, or Jewish, or Mayan Indian, Hispanic or Scotch Irish. I am tired of everybody in the world wanting to be better than someone else, or to be dominating over the other. I am sorry for any Black hopes of a new eon in which the Black man is the dominating and imperial force on the planet, although I know that this is the vision pressed by the "Mayan (illusion) calendar" of MACHINE-RA, and embraced and manipulated by some really unsavory characters (religious fundamentalists plugged into the MACHINE), many of which I have outed in this blog.
I think that I have been duped many times by the MACHINE, and I am hoping that this time, I get it right. A planetary reset with the northern hemisphere destroyed, and all civilization based in Africa and South America and South Asia (Oz and NZ will be gone, too), is what I am trying to avoid. Nor do I wish to be a "Galactic Being", much as the Sirians have done for (mostly White) humanity over the centuries. I think this planet is ready to move out of this immature state that depends on galactic "patrons" for guidance and boosts. I know that Black Africa lost their galactic patron thousands of years ago, but really I think that they will be fine, as long as evil influences, such as the "Lord's Army" (MACHINE-RA mind control at work) are checked.
Yes, there still is a lot of underdevelopment that hinders full and conscious awareness of humanity's true reality, but so much of that is tied into the subjugation of women, that I think natural cultural changes will be sufficient to move forward. When women recognize their own self-identity as primarily a spiritual being with free will and free choice, instead of solely as a mother of (male) children, then the birth rate will go down, and quality of life for all will go up. Children reared in smaller families not only have more resources available to them, but they often get greater attention to their psychological higher needs. There are a lot of positive signs that real progress is being made. I was especially heartened to see the Egyptian women rally after one of their sisters was brutally stomped and undressed while demonstrating. Gratifying too, was that their menfolk formed a protective ring around them while they demonstrated. This sends a strong signal that women refuse to be deprived of their full dignity as humans and citizens, and are ready to take action to prove it.
Then, tonight I saw that there is a Chinese show, where one girl chooses from 100 male contestants to marry. The gender imbalance created by female aborticide, in China and India, is truly deplorable. What I can't understand is why the society doesn't function to redress an imbalance that can only lead to massive and widespread psychological suffering (humans are meant to be paired), destabilization, and eventual extinction. In a healthy society, geared to preservation, the pendulum should be swinging the other way. As girls become more scarce, THEY should become more valuable and esteemed. Since I live in a free market society, I would say that grooms should pay the bride a price in order to accommodate the supply/demand imbalance However, I know that is my western capitalistic values, so I enjoyed seeing evidence of a more original alternative that China is employing.
In Africa, the peace Nobel peace prize went to 2 or 3 separate women. The president of Liberia, Brazil and Argentina are women, while for all our vaunted democracy, North American female candidates still encounter a hostile environment, that in some cases reeks of sexism.
So, I am confident that humanity is ready to move into a completely new phase. Yes, some areas and some individuals in the planet are lagging (here in this country, drug addiction is handicapping the spiritual self-awareness of a significant minority of our population). However, I think 2012 is a year that this planet leaps forward into an unexplored, but positive and hopeful future, rather than a recycle reset of the same old MACHINE-RA manipulation and scenario.
I am not suffering so miserably for nothing. I am willing to fight for the future, even if it kills me--and all I would remind all those out there who are living, breathing, human beings, and not walking "Kold Kadavers", is that heroism is an individual mandate. The era of childish dependency on a heroic figure who will "save us" is old school mentality, mind-control mentality. It is incumbent upon each one of us, each individual, each human person, to realize that the magnificence of our being resides within, and while it takes effort, spiritual discipline, and maturity to push it out (Man or Womanhood virtue), that is our call, and that is our future, and I personally won't settle for anything less--not for all the "glory" and "acclaim" in the cosmos.
First, I see "Snooki" on a MSM home page. Now, I am trying to avoid being negative, so I won't launch into a critique of our narcissistic and meaningless celebrity culture. What really ticked me off, though, was that it was about "slender Snooki's" body type. Well, first of all, let me say that I don't find women of her body type, sexy or appealing in any way. I am not impressed with a slight build and oversized, fake boobs (except for Dolly Parton, but in her case, it is her charm which is so mesmerizing!). What really angered me about the picture though, is that it reminds me of my own constant misery. I was cut on again last night, and I have felt the pain all day--once again, the ribs have been constricted and shaved, so that I have these outsized breasts drooping over a tiny rib cage. I quit worrying about the goddamned boobs already. They don't belong there, and when I get autonomy over my own body back, they will be gone one way or another. However, I do mind the pain and misery caused by the constricted rib cage and thoracic cavity. I can't even ride a bike without bad asthma kicking in, and my ribs hurt so badly that it is hard to sit, hard to breathe, and I find myself walking stooped, because I don't have the muscular strength to walk upright. My back is so messed up with all the mutilations that I haven't even been able to walk up and down the alley a couple of times. I bought an exercise wheel used as rehabilitating exercise for invalids and the elderly, but even that makes me asthmatic, and I can only use it for stretches of two to three minutes.
So, I sign on, and find that I have a "follower"--a goddamned Nazi named "Kold Kadaver" whose profile brags about being dead, and apparently plugged into MACHINE-RA! Lucky f-ing me...just what I always wanted--a Nazi cadaver following me around. So I had to figure out how to delete his blonde, flat-topped, Fourth Reich-uniformed, DEAD ass from my journal. Yuck! However, I did figure it out, and along the way read some comments that I didn't even know existed, though I do remember getting an e-mail from my ex-sister-in-law, expressing alarm about this blog, which she stumbled on to by accident. She herself is an entrenched dope addict, but no doubt she was concerned that I had lost my mind.
No, I haven't lost my mind, just millions and millions of neurons. Seriously, I tried to read a book, and I now read like I did in fourth grade--slowly, and pronouncing the words out loud in my head. I used to be a real speed reader, with excellent comprehension and recall. I try to reactivate the old faculty, and I just cannot comprehend the reading at my once-familiar speed. It's as if all the damned drugs, especially the lithium that nearly killed me, have slowed my mind down so much that my brain no longer moves at a natural, rapid speed. However, my problems with reading go deeper than that. I am suffering from severe ADHD--not just with books, but with Internet research as well. I suppose that my handlers really don't mind much, so long as their psychics can read my thoughts, while I skim headlines, but I know that insights don't just hit me like lightning thunderbolts. I have reams of images and data in my head which I am able to access when the inspirational bug starts to buzz. It is important that I keep updating my mental material and knowledge, because time is critical, and this year is going to be as hugely demanding as 2011--at least for the next few months, as well as, I think, a couple of other crucial, high-tension points.
Of course, sometimes dreams can provide inspirational material, but mostly I just have nightmares. Such was the case last night. I have thought about it all day, and do believe that I did encounter a satanist last night. I don't know who he was, but in my dream, my door was open, and though he knocked, it is frightening to realize the level of my vulnerability. I guess that it helps that in my dreams I can protect myself somewhat--or otherwise, I wouldn't have shut the door on him. However, some things I seem unable to control--like the continual cutting on my body. I don't know who is doing it--the religously fundamentalist dog Sirians or Salusa's faction.
I have a feeling that I was offered some kind of haven last night, probably the Black psychic community, but I declined. I am not sure why, but I am a reasonable person, so there must be a good reason. Maybe they want me to give up all claim to a White self-identity--something I don't feel comfortable doing, although if I am in a Black skin, the Black identity will naturally grow on me.
However, I am not ashamed or unhappy with genes that are White, or Brown, or Black, or Asian, or Jewish, or Mayan Indian, Hispanic or Scotch Irish. I am tired of everybody in the world wanting to be better than someone else, or to be dominating over the other. I am sorry for any Black hopes of a new eon in which the Black man is the dominating and imperial force on the planet, although I know that this is the vision pressed by the "Mayan (illusion) calendar" of MACHINE-RA, and embraced and manipulated by some really unsavory characters (religious fundamentalists plugged into the MACHINE), many of which I have outed in this blog.
I think that I have been duped many times by the MACHINE, and I am hoping that this time, I get it right. A planetary reset with the northern hemisphere destroyed, and all civilization based in Africa and South America and South Asia (Oz and NZ will be gone, too), is what I am trying to avoid. Nor do I wish to be a "Galactic Being", much as the Sirians have done for (mostly White) humanity over the centuries. I think this planet is ready to move out of this immature state that depends on galactic "patrons" for guidance and boosts. I know that Black Africa lost their galactic patron thousands of years ago, but really I think that they will be fine, as long as evil influences, such as the "Lord's Army" (MACHINE-RA mind control at work) are checked.
Yes, there still is a lot of underdevelopment that hinders full and conscious awareness of humanity's true reality, but so much of that is tied into the subjugation of women, that I think natural cultural changes will be sufficient to move forward. When women recognize their own self-identity as primarily a spiritual being with free will and free choice, instead of solely as a mother of (male) children, then the birth rate will go down, and quality of life for all will go up. Children reared in smaller families not only have more resources available to them, but they often get greater attention to their psychological higher needs. There are a lot of positive signs that real progress is being made. I was especially heartened to see the Egyptian women rally after one of their sisters was brutally stomped and undressed while demonstrating. Gratifying too, was that their menfolk formed a protective ring around them while they demonstrated. This sends a strong signal that women refuse to be deprived of their full dignity as humans and citizens, and are ready to take action to prove it.
Then, tonight I saw that there is a Chinese show, where one girl chooses from 100 male contestants to marry. The gender imbalance created by female aborticide, in China and India, is truly deplorable. What I can't understand is why the society doesn't function to redress an imbalance that can only lead to massive and widespread psychological suffering (humans are meant to be paired), destabilization, and eventual extinction. In a healthy society, geared to preservation, the pendulum should be swinging the other way. As girls become more scarce, THEY should become more valuable and esteemed. Since I live in a free market society, I would say that grooms should pay the bride a price in order to accommodate the supply/demand imbalance However, I know that is my western capitalistic values, so I enjoyed seeing evidence of a more original alternative that China is employing.
In Africa, the peace Nobel peace prize went to 2 or 3 separate women. The president of Liberia, Brazil and Argentina are women, while for all our vaunted democracy, North American female candidates still encounter a hostile environment, that in some cases reeks of sexism.
So, I am confident that humanity is ready to move into a completely new phase. Yes, some areas and some individuals in the planet are lagging (here in this country, drug addiction is handicapping the spiritual self-awareness of a significant minority of our population). However, I think 2012 is a year that this planet leaps forward into an unexplored, but positive and hopeful future, rather than a recycle reset of the same old MACHINE-RA manipulation and scenario.
I am not suffering so miserably for nothing. I am willing to fight for the future, even if it kills me--and all I would remind all those out there who are living, breathing, human beings, and not walking "Kold Kadavers", is that heroism is an individual mandate. The era of childish dependency on a heroic figure who will "save us" is old school mentality, mind-control mentality. It is incumbent upon each one of us, each individual, each human person, to realize that the magnificence of our being resides within, and while it takes effort, spiritual discipline, and maturity to push it out (Man or Womanhood virtue), that is our call, and that is our future, and I personally won't settle for anything less--not for all the "glory" and "acclaim" in the cosmos.
I keep experimenting
I keep experimenting to try to figure out what is being done to me. The food that I am eating which has been tampered with at the point of sale, not only makes me autistic, but lethargic and ADHD at the same time. I am unable to concentrate or focus (ADHD), but also have a "don't care" kind of attitude. Of course, I always care, but I lose the passionate drive I usually have to understand and explain the realities that I explore. On top of all that, this tampered food causes muscle spasms. Since my back is so tight and unnaturally constricted, these spasms are painful to the point of debilitating. I try to struggle through it, but evn though I have skimmed the morning papr, I cannot do any in-depth research, even though I encountered a couple of really good articles.
To complicate matters further, I think that just the act of eating has an unusual effect upon me. I noticed this years ago when my torment first began. I was working at the time, and was accustomed to eating a light lunch (sandwich, small bag of chips, apple or orange), since I do not like having the afternoon "sleepies" when I am working. Well, my lunch menu never changed, but all of a sudden, I noticed that eating made me feel really weird. Of course, I was in the initial stages of exposure to the nano-virus, which gave me heavy metal poisoning, and so already I was struggling with health issues. However, it was indisputable that eating made it worse, much worse, so much so that I complained about it to my medical provider at the time. She smiled indulgently, but I really do think that the nano-virus is a metabolic disorder, and that when the body goes to metabolize fuel (digest the food), the virus fires up. That is why I have had so many problems experienced by diabetics ( a metabolic disorder), such as weight gain, neuropathic legs, inability of wounds to heal, neuropathic legs, nerve pain, etc).
So the question I have to ask myself is "how much do I fight back", and try to obtain uncontaminated food? I know that some of my food was not not contaminated at the point of sale, but within the house, so why spend a lot of money and effort to buy unaltered food, when someone can come in my house and tamper with it. The surest bet is to eat fast food (I am stalked everywhere, so anything that takes even a small amount of time to prepare, increases the risk of contamination). However, eating the junky, salty, fatty, artificial chemical crap that is in most fast food, makes me feel weird and ill as well, even if naturally so. I have felt really bad before with this virus; maybe I just need to put on my endurance shoes, and plow through.
It would help if I were in a place where I could make more accurate assessments about the circumstances and aliens impacting my life. However, I will be the first to admit that I am in a siege mentality, and that negatively impacts my ability to accurately discern the matters at hand. For example, most of the tampered food I eat makes me somewhat ill; however, sometimes I ingest something that the Amon-RA devotees have contaminated, and then, I get so violently ill, that I become nearly psychotic, and my head and body will start shaking involuntarily, to try to expel the poison. I think that these various alien factions are trying to activate the part of my DNA code that corresponds to their own. I think the Amon-RA frequencies are setting off my "Tall White" genes--which is why I become so enraged when it happens--that, and there is so much pressure on my brain that I become symptomatically combative. Once the Amon-RA poison is inside of me, it trumps takes over, and negatively exacerbates the consequences of all other viral products, so that figuring all of this out took several attempts.
Now, I need to decide how best to deal with it. Last night I dreamed that a man knocked on my door, and I yelled at him, "satanist". He put a newspaper down in front of another door and left. That is an example of what I mean by a siege mentality. I think the "man" was trying to provide me information, but I am so determined to try to protect my boundaries from "hostiles" that I am closed off to "friendlies" as well.
Well, the tampered food I ate for breakfast is really making me sleepy. I need to go lay down.
To complicate matters further, I think that just the act of eating has an unusual effect upon me. I noticed this years ago when my torment first began. I was working at the time, and was accustomed to eating a light lunch (sandwich, small bag of chips, apple or orange), since I do not like having the afternoon "sleepies" when I am working. Well, my lunch menu never changed, but all of a sudden, I noticed that eating made me feel really weird. Of course, I was in the initial stages of exposure to the nano-virus, which gave me heavy metal poisoning, and so already I was struggling with health issues. However, it was indisputable that eating made it worse, much worse, so much so that I complained about it to my medical provider at the time. She smiled indulgently, but I really do think that the nano-virus is a metabolic disorder, and that when the body goes to metabolize fuel (digest the food), the virus fires up. That is why I have had so many problems experienced by diabetics ( a metabolic disorder), such as weight gain, neuropathic legs, inability of wounds to heal, neuropathic legs, nerve pain, etc).
So the question I have to ask myself is "how much do I fight back", and try to obtain uncontaminated food? I know that some of my food was not not contaminated at the point of sale, but within the house, so why spend a lot of money and effort to buy unaltered food, when someone can come in my house and tamper with it. The surest bet is to eat fast food (I am stalked everywhere, so anything that takes even a small amount of time to prepare, increases the risk of contamination). However, eating the junky, salty, fatty, artificial chemical crap that is in most fast food, makes me feel weird and ill as well, even if naturally so. I have felt really bad before with this virus; maybe I just need to put on my endurance shoes, and plow through.
It would help if I were in a place where I could make more accurate assessments about the circumstances and aliens impacting my life. However, I will be the first to admit that I am in a siege mentality, and that negatively impacts my ability to accurately discern the matters at hand. For example, most of the tampered food I eat makes me somewhat ill; however, sometimes I ingest something that the Amon-RA devotees have contaminated, and then, I get so violently ill, that I become nearly psychotic, and my head and body will start shaking involuntarily, to try to expel the poison. I think that these various alien factions are trying to activate the part of my DNA code that corresponds to their own. I think the Amon-RA frequencies are setting off my "Tall White" genes--which is why I become so enraged when it happens--that, and there is so much pressure on my brain that I become symptomatically combative. Once the Amon-RA poison is inside of me, it trumps takes over, and negatively exacerbates the consequences of all other viral products, so that figuring all of this out took several attempts.
Now, I need to decide how best to deal with it. Last night I dreamed that a man knocked on my door, and I yelled at him, "satanist". He put a newspaper down in front of another door and left. That is an example of what I mean by a siege mentality. I think the "man" was trying to provide me information, but I am so determined to try to protect my boundaries from "hostiles" that I am closed off to "friendlies" as well.
Well, the tampered food I ate for breakfast is really making me sleepy. I need to go lay down.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
So drugged I can barely keep eyes open
So drugged I can barely keep eyes open--partly my fault. I ate what I knew to be contaminated food. I have learned that mostf the food that has been contaminated is done so by some faction of dog Sirians. It definitely has a negative impact on me--making me severely autistic, which is why I find it difficult to open my eyes. The Amon-RA zaps--which they do to the product while on the shelf (anticipating my purchases such as various health supplements), makes me extremely ill. So, I tried to see if I could handle the dog Sirian adulterated food. It was not a good idea. I know that I am on some kind of psychotropic drug, and it is complicating matters, but really I am so messed up that I am barely present to reality. Of course now, I want to go out and try to score a dinner from a fast food joint that is uncontaminated, but really, I am too sick to drive in this condition. It was an other relatively mild day, but I am way too sick to go for a bike ride. Nothing for it, but persevere.
Monday, January 2, 2012
Another morning I woke up in agonizing pain
Another morning I woke up in agonizing pain--back and shoulders. I don't know if I was cut on, but I know that my thoracic cavity musculature was pushed forward. Stupid, goddamned fucks are trying to force a female body on me. Well, its clear that they pushed the goddamned Nazi boobs even further out (thank God it is winter and I can cover the goddamned offending things with a sweatshirt), but the cost is severe pain, difficulty breathing, and loss of energy (my body had been changed to a more normal hormonal configuration, which felt better for a couple of days). My body's energetic pattern is male, and the more contorted and unnaturally female my body is forced and confined, the more pain, and loss of all energy and vitality. I can literally feel my bio-energy being stymied in my back.
I have to recognize and accept that continuing in this state is impossible. I keep hoping to just win some time, so that I can remain independent, but I don't think that is going to be possible. Of course, I have approached the Black psychic community for help, which was denied (and that was after a year of having them stand by, doing nothing while I was systematically mutilated--even though I was putting my life on the line in astral battles with them). I don't hold a grudge, but it is clear that the Black psychic community suffers from a lot of psychological immaturity and self-inflicted racism that makes it difficult for them to accept a strong and free White person, even though it is clear that in the deeper unconscious realm, I have been/am a powerful Black leader.
It also bothers me, because I think that Obama--maybe backed by Salusa--is trying to play the race card to take over a position of (figurehead) astral leadership. Obama couldn't be a leader if he tried. You know, I look at photos of crushed Tim Tebow and recognize the humiliation and sense of failure he is feeling. However, I have hope that he is going to come from this experience a deeper and fuller man (even if he never becomes a great quarterback--without a total reorientation of style, I don't see it, but he is humble enough to learn and change). However, so many Black men are "princesses"--who cannot accept the fact that life deals out humiliations and failures to everyone; instead they blame racism for all the hardships and pain that they endure, instead of recognizing that such is life, and working to hone themselves into strong men on the edge of life's pain. Instead, they stay mired in childish blame games and whittle their own selves down into less than men.
The tragedy of Barack Obama is that he does have the gifts to be a genuine leader, but he has no gratitude for that which bestowed those gifts--namely, his White occult family, which groomed him for success from the womb. Nor did he ever learn to accept humiliation and hardship as necessary lessons which transform life's pain into greatness of spirit and efficacious ability--instead, he was schooled at a very early age, starting with Frank Marshall Davis, to attribute so much of his existential pain into ideological racism. Thus, unlike young Tebow who is sitting on the bench with balled up fists, wondering what he did wrong, and desperately pulling into himself for the ability to right "the wrong" (of course, he is NOT the primary culprit, but real Men always blame themselves first, and outer circumstances, no matter how damning and daunting, second)
Now, why is this important. Because Obama is desperate for the glamour, narcissistic celebrity, and rich benefits of the lifestyle of the rich and powerful, that he will grasp at anything to continue his bogus run. So I fear that his next move is going to be to play the race card, even more overtly than he did in 2008, for which he was given a complete pass by the media. It is funny--I read an article the other day about Michelle Bachmann playing the gender card--yet she hasn't demonstrated a fraction of one percentage of Obama's egregious self-pity, and "poor African-American me" pity party. It's still going on--most recently manifest in that thoroughly corrupt and occult traitor, AG Holder whining about how he is catching flack for his direct responsibility in the gunrunning which has resulted in HUNDREDS of dead Mexicans, because, he shares Obama's skin color. PFFFTTTT!).
The worst case scenario is that Obama would seek to ally himself with the occult Black community which was so formative in his unconventional conception, and provided essential covert support in so much of his adult years in Chicago--the Nation of Islam, and their Amon-RA colleagues, including such types as Bernardine Doerhn and Bill Ayers. Even though racial relations seem calm now, this occult clique can rouse terrorist actions or racial tension in a hurry. As a matter of fact, that was part of the plan from the beginning.
I am really angry, because it seems to be (I could be wrong) that Obama is using the media to present an image (especially to the Black psychics, whom he is desperately trying to woo, since he no longer has a power base) of "wronged" Black grievances. Check out this picture at the CNN blog:
http://whitehouse.blogs.cnn.com/
Do you know what I see in that picture? A staged photo op, which is supposed to convey the message that White people (in this case a little child), are inherently racist and want to touch Black people. Check out Obama's grimace. This is all for show to remind all the Black "princesses" out there, constantly bitching and moaning about the "pea" that they feel, even while lying on 20 mattresses (any African-AMERICAN is privileged to live in the top 1% of the world in quality of life) about how hard it is to be in a Black skin in White society. This photo-op is to probably reinforce the "PEA" that Obama has been feeling since he was a teenager, and a someone came up to him in school, rubbed his skin and asked if it would rub off. Now, this is offensive, no doubt, but guess what--in my school, people would come up to you and rub your skin or hair, and ask if you had "cooties" or moan "oooh", or some dumb shit. School is full of immature kids acting out in immature behaviors. The point is to recognize this and refuse to give it power over you. As much abuse as I endured at the hands of my schoolmates (and I could fall into the ideological trap and term much of it "sexist"--"boys just naturally hate and torment girls"), I would be fully justified to be a hater of humanity, to toss and turn over the multitude of peas that life threw at me. This action was certainly insensitive, and probably "racist" in a soft way (just like the boys at my school who liked to punch girls or snap bra straps, were "sexist" in a soft way), but it is a PEA.
Let us suppose that this not a staged photo op, though I think it is, since this staged persona and imagery has been Obama's stock in trade to demonstrate his "leadership potential" from the very beginning, and that picture just looks completely staged. People are naturally curious, and often insecure, about differences--the "other". This is not always racist. When I took my 3 year old niece to Disneyland, I was irritated because some adult Black man, couldn't take his eyes away from her. Now, my intuition told me that he was not a pedophile--he was just fascinated by her blue eyes and platinum blond hair. It was racist in a "soft" way. When I was a college freshman, working at a snack stand, I was shocked when a Black male co-worker came up to me, and started patting and feeling my hair. Now, I did not experience that as violating (unlike my experience as a teenage girl on a Greyhound bus, where a Black man sat next to me, and deliberately trapped my thigh with his, until I got up and moved). I did find the hair patting somewhat invasive, but my Greyhound experience did not turn me into a racist, so I was open to what and who the young college student really was. He was basically a good person just fascinated by my hair and wanted to feel it. Had I encountered him in high school, he probably would have been just as fascinated, but would have uttered afterward, "ooh, cooties", or perhaps, "I just wanted to see if it would rub off" . Now, you might say this encounter has sexual overtones, but guess what, I saw the same scenario play out on a televised football game. Joe Flacco was sporting a brand new flat top, and while sitting on the bench, a Black player came up and started ruffling his hair. When, in male bonding, have you ever seen Black men ruffle or pat each other's hair? Naturally, this move irritated Flacco, and he shook off the hand, but I don't that he turned it into a PEA that kept him tossing and turning all night.
Get it, everybody? It is natural to be curious and fascinated about differences. Yes, there is social protocol to be observed, and it is annoying or worse when violated, but EVERYBODY needs to be careful that they don't turn misdemeanor offenses into PEAS, much less full-blown grudges that cause bitterness and resentment which badly cripples maturity and efficacy in the world. So, I hope and pray that whatever audience (Nation of Islam or Black psychic community) that Obama is trying to trick into backing his power play, doesn't fall into the same racist deception that had Americans, both Black and White, so fooled in 2008.
We have ALL been duped, myself, Tim Tebow, the American voter, nearly the entire human population, and it is incumbent upon each one of us to come to a mature acceptance into how we have all cooperated with the process, through our laziness, our idealism, our ideologies and "isms". For me, personally, I am in a critical phase (have been for years, actually), as I try to determine who is trustworthy and who is not. I get duped, too. For a while, I was more consciously (though not "unconsciously" or "astrally") trusting of Salusa than he deserved. Some Sirians are trying to protect me, while others are slowly killing me.
I am going to have to make a trust choice, because I don't think I can live much longer, with these nightly abductions and agonies. However, whoever I trust is going to have to be people who accept my free will to choose and affirm my self-identity. You see, I get it. My unconscious and conscious lives are not one and the same, and I am going to have to make some changes to resolve that dilemma, in order to fully live out my destiny. Now apparently, there are at least two timelines that I know of--one in which I am a Black male, and one in which I am a crippled White female. What REALLY, REALLY bugs me is the racism/sexism I have encountered in both factions. The Blacks psychics are uncomfortable with me as a White lesbian female, but they love it if I am a bodacious, badass Black man (well at least the men do; apparently at least some of the females want a domesticated "soft" man, much like Jesus has been feminized over the centuries). A lot of White people have this sentimental, idealized concept of the martyred feminine--and they would feel "cheated", and even enraged were I to accept a predominantly Black identity.
But guess what? It is MY decision, and I will make it in accordance with what I perceive to be God's Will, which ultimately will translate into what will make me most happy and fulfilled. However, I insist that everybody QUIT THEIR GODDAMNED RACIST AND SEXIST EXPECTATIONS. Quite obviously, it is possible that I can impact the world whether I am a White, crippled woman, or a fierce Black warrior. The point is that either, or rather, any identity, has intrinsic and creative value. I know which way I am leaning, but I am not ready to make an "all-in" decision. What I desperately need is the same thing I have needed for years--a safe place to process these unconscious realities, where there is my freedom of will to choose WHATEVER, is respected and honored.
Now, I am in pain, and I am going to watch TV, while I try to figure some stuff out (I know it may sound strange--but that is how I do things).
I have to recognize and accept that continuing in this state is impossible. I keep hoping to just win some time, so that I can remain independent, but I don't think that is going to be possible. Of course, I have approached the Black psychic community for help, which was denied (and that was after a year of having them stand by, doing nothing while I was systematically mutilated--even though I was putting my life on the line in astral battles with them). I don't hold a grudge, but it is clear that the Black psychic community suffers from a lot of psychological immaturity and self-inflicted racism that makes it difficult for them to accept a strong and free White person, even though it is clear that in the deeper unconscious realm, I have been/am a powerful Black leader.
It also bothers me, because I think that Obama--maybe backed by Salusa--is trying to play the race card to take over a position of (figurehead) astral leadership. Obama couldn't be a leader if he tried. You know, I look at photos of crushed Tim Tebow and recognize the humiliation and sense of failure he is feeling. However, I have hope that he is going to come from this experience a deeper and fuller man (even if he never becomes a great quarterback--without a total reorientation of style, I don't see it, but he is humble enough to learn and change). However, so many Black men are "princesses"--who cannot accept the fact that life deals out humiliations and failures to everyone; instead they blame racism for all the hardships and pain that they endure, instead of recognizing that such is life, and working to hone themselves into strong men on the edge of life's pain. Instead, they stay mired in childish blame games and whittle their own selves down into less than men.
The tragedy of Barack Obama is that he does have the gifts to be a genuine leader, but he has no gratitude for that which bestowed those gifts--namely, his White occult family, which groomed him for success from the womb. Nor did he ever learn to accept humiliation and hardship as necessary lessons which transform life's pain into greatness of spirit and efficacious ability--instead, he was schooled at a very early age, starting with Frank Marshall Davis, to attribute so much of his existential pain into ideological racism. Thus, unlike young Tebow who is sitting on the bench with balled up fists, wondering what he did wrong, and desperately pulling into himself for the ability to right "the wrong" (of course, he is NOT the primary culprit, but real Men always blame themselves first, and outer circumstances, no matter how damning and daunting, second)
Now, why is this important. Because Obama is desperate for the glamour, narcissistic celebrity, and rich benefits of the lifestyle of the rich and powerful, that he will grasp at anything to continue his bogus run. So I fear that his next move is going to be to play the race card, even more overtly than he did in 2008, for which he was given a complete pass by the media. It is funny--I read an article the other day about Michelle Bachmann playing the gender card--yet she hasn't demonstrated a fraction of one percentage of Obama's egregious self-pity, and "poor African-American me" pity party. It's still going on--most recently manifest in that thoroughly corrupt and occult traitor, AG Holder whining about how he is catching flack for his direct responsibility in the gunrunning which has resulted in HUNDREDS of dead Mexicans, because, he shares Obama's skin color. PFFFTTTT!).
The worst case scenario is that Obama would seek to ally himself with the occult Black community which was so formative in his unconventional conception, and provided essential covert support in so much of his adult years in Chicago--the Nation of Islam, and their Amon-RA colleagues, including such types as Bernardine Doerhn and Bill Ayers. Even though racial relations seem calm now, this occult clique can rouse terrorist actions or racial tension in a hurry. As a matter of fact, that was part of the plan from the beginning.
I am really angry, because it seems to be (I could be wrong) that Obama is using the media to present an image (especially to the Black psychics, whom he is desperately trying to woo, since he no longer has a power base) of "wronged" Black grievances. Check out this picture at the CNN blog:
http://whitehouse.blogs.cnn.com/
Do you know what I see in that picture? A staged photo op, which is supposed to convey the message that White people (in this case a little child), are inherently racist and want to touch Black people. Check out Obama's grimace. This is all for show to remind all the Black "princesses" out there, constantly bitching and moaning about the "pea" that they feel, even while lying on 20 mattresses (any African-AMERICAN is privileged to live in the top 1% of the world in quality of life) about how hard it is to be in a Black skin in White society. This photo-op is to probably reinforce the "PEA" that Obama has been feeling since he was a teenager, and a someone came up to him in school, rubbed his skin and asked if it would rub off. Now, this is offensive, no doubt, but guess what--in my school, people would come up to you and rub your skin or hair, and ask if you had "cooties" or moan "oooh", or some dumb shit. School is full of immature kids acting out in immature behaviors. The point is to recognize this and refuse to give it power over you. As much abuse as I endured at the hands of my schoolmates (and I could fall into the ideological trap and term much of it "sexist"--"boys just naturally hate and torment girls"), I would be fully justified to be a hater of humanity, to toss and turn over the multitude of peas that life threw at me. This action was certainly insensitive, and probably "racist" in a soft way (just like the boys at my school who liked to punch girls or snap bra straps, were "sexist" in a soft way), but it is a PEA.
Let us suppose that this not a staged photo op, though I think it is, since this staged persona and imagery has been Obama's stock in trade to demonstrate his "leadership potential" from the very beginning, and that picture just looks completely staged. People are naturally curious, and often insecure, about differences--the "other". This is not always racist. When I took my 3 year old niece to Disneyland, I was irritated because some adult Black man, couldn't take his eyes away from her. Now, my intuition told me that he was not a pedophile--he was just fascinated by her blue eyes and platinum blond hair. It was racist in a "soft" way. When I was a college freshman, working at a snack stand, I was shocked when a Black male co-worker came up to me, and started patting and feeling my hair. Now, I did not experience that as violating (unlike my experience as a teenage girl on a Greyhound bus, where a Black man sat next to me, and deliberately trapped my thigh with his, until I got up and moved). I did find the hair patting somewhat invasive, but my Greyhound experience did not turn me into a racist, so I was open to what and who the young college student really was. He was basically a good person just fascinated by my hair and wanted to feel it. Had I encountered him in high school, he probably would have been just as fascinated, but would have uttered afterward, "ooh, cooties", or perhaps, "I just wanted to see if it would rub off" . Now, you might say this encounter has sexual overtones, but guess what, I saw the same scenario play out on a televised football game. Joe Flacco was sporting a brand new flat top, and while sitting on the bench, a Black player came up and started ruffling his hair. When, in male bonding, have you ever seen Black men ruffle or pat each other's hair? Naturally, this move irritated Flacco, and he shook off the hand, but I don't that he turned it into a PEA that kept him tossing and turning all night.
Get it, everybody? It is natural to be curious and fascinated about differences. Yes, there is social protocol to be observed, and it is annoying or worse when violated, but EVERYBODY needs to be careful that they don't turn misdemeanor offenses into PEAS, much less full-blown grudges that cause bitterness and resentment which badly cripples maturity and efficacy in the world. So, I hope and pray that whatever audience (Nation of Islam or Black psychic community) that Obama is trying to trick into backing his power play, doesn't fall into the same racist deception that had Americans, both Black and White, so fooled in 2008.
We have ALL been duped, myself, Tim Tebow, the American voter, nearly the entire human population, and it is incumbent upon each one of us to come to a mature acceptance into how we have all cooperated with the process, through our laziness, our idealism, our ideologies and "isms". For me, personally, I am in a critical phase (have been for years, actually), as I try to determine who is trustworthy and who is not. I get duped, too. For a while, I was more consciously (though not "unconsciously" or "astrally") trusting of Salusa than he deserved. Some Sirians are trying to protect me, while others are slowly killing me.
I am going to have to make a trust choice, because I don't think I can live much longer, with these nightly abductions and agonies. However, whoever I trust is going to have to be people who accept my free will to choose and affirm my self-identity. You see, I get it. My unconscious and conscious lives are not one and the same, and I am going to have to make some changes to resolve that dilemma, in order to fully live out my destiny. Now apparently, there are at least two timelines that I know of--one in which I am a Black male, and one in which I am a crippled White female. What REALLY, REALLY bugs me is the racism/sexism I have encountered in both factions. The Blacks psychics are uncomfortable with me as a White lesbian female, but they love it if I am a bodacious, badass Black man (well at least the men do; apparently at least some of the females want a domesticated "soft" man, much like Jesus has been feminized over the centuries). A lot of White people have this sentimental, idealized concept of the martyred feminine--and they would feel "cheated", and even enraged were I to accept a predominantly Black identity.
But guess what? It is MY decision, and I will make it in accordance with what I perceive to be God's Will, which ultimately will translate into what will make me most happy and fulfilled. However, I insist that everybody QUIT THEIR GODDAMNED RACIST AND SEXIST EXPECTATIONS. Quite obviously, it is possible that I can impact the world whether I am a White, crippled woman, or a fierce Black warrior. The point is that either, or rather, any identity, has intrinsic and creative value. I know which way I am leaning, but I am not ready to make an "all-in" decision. What I desperately need is the same thing I have needed for years--a safe place to process these unconscious realities, where there is my freedom of will to choose WHATEVER, is respected and honored.
Now, I am in pain, and I am going to watch TV, while I try to figure some stuff out (I know it may sound strange--but that is how I do things).
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Late night rage at the fucking Sirians
Late night rage at the fucking Sirians has me rethinking my decision not to write out what I am suspecting, until I feel more certain as to what is really happening. As I write this, I have been pulled from my attempts to sleep by the semi-psychosis caused by the viral download. My face is grotesquely swollen...I mean GROTESQUELY swollen so that my entire lower half half of my face is pulling down the corners of hidden, swollen lips.
I am not sure what is causing the problem. As mentioned before, there are at least two factions of dog Sirians involved--one the fundamentalist blasphemers who are aethistic in orientation, but who cynically enjoy manipulating human populations through religion. They prefer Islam, but fundamentalist Christianity will do in a pinch (poor Tim Tebow--he looks like he doesn't know what hit him--hang in there kid--abasement of the ego is the first REAL step to not only mature faith, but also to mature manhood. You just got punked by a bunch of blasphemers who tried to trap you with illusion, deception, and lies--its been going on for centuries, but has now reached fever pitch.
The Amon RA clique is the absolute worst of the alien lot. They may have gotten through to me by some kind of transference of technology when I went to the store to return the fish oil that I bought. The other dog Sirians--who I further subdivide into the "pasty Whites" and the "swarthy, olive-complexioned Whites (I think they were very involved with the Italian renaissance), are trying to protect me to some extent (but is it only so that they can "claim" exclusive "ownership rights" to me?). These Sirians want me as a female Isis figure, and are determined to force such a role upon me, no matter how much I suffer in this bizarre mutilation of a female body they have created with their diabolical technology. They don't worship the feminine themselves, but rather they want a holy avatar to use to manipulate human masses again, as they are consummate control freaks, and desire to control humanity at all costs.
WELL FUCK THAT...I am not interested in playing their game, but only exposing it, so that humanity finally frees ourselves from this infernal bunch of "fallen angels". Now, there is some good that the Sirians have done--and I was hoping for an opportunity to present a more balanced analysis, but as I write this, I am going out of my mind with the semi-psychosis caused by the virus, I am asthmatic, and in terrible pain from all the cutting the bastards have done to my back and shoulders.
So, I will just come right out and reveal my dream from last night. I dreamed last night that someone was trying to force a "blue pill" into my mouth. Those familiar with "The Matrix" know that the blue pill represents the illusion of the computer generated slavery, or what Eastern religions term "Maya". You know, an interesting aside is that I have been thinking on the similarity of the word "Maya" (as in Mayan Indians and Mayan calendar), and the word, "Magi". You see the Spanish language pronounces the soft "G" sound as "Y", and for that matter, I believe the Hebrew religion does as well, which is why Jesus' Hebrew pronunciation is "Yeshua". Thus the Maya and the Magi of Babylonian mystery schools (Zoroasterianism) are one and the same--probably in the great post-Flood dispersal, members of the Maya/Magi tribe emigrated to Central America--the question I wonder is, was there another genetic lineage (of Pleiadian ancestry) already present? Did the "Mayans" morph into the bloodthirsty Aztecs offering up constant human sacrifice to placate the "gods", while a more aboriginal population found themselves victimized? . Still yet another interesting aside is the occult significance of the surname "Mayer" or "Meier" or Meijer (the satanic family who owns a change of department stores, originating in Michigan, of the same name). Like all ancient and intergenerational bloodlines, these descendants do quite well for himself. Make no mistake, good people of faith everywhere--Satanism takes care of its own. Jesus said so as much in the gospels when he spoke of how "the world takes care of its 'children'", and believers in the true God needed to assert themselves just as vigorously.
Anyway, getting back to my dream. Someone was forcing a huge blue pill down my throat. It wasn't shaped like a pill, though. It was like a small blue cube--say 2"x2"X2". Now in my dream, they were trying to get me to believe some damned lie , but to be honest, I have been attacked in my dreams for so long, that now, even in my dreams, I know when I am being fed a line of complete shit by a bunch of brain hackers. I thank God that I spent my twenties and thirties doing incessant dream interpretation, for it is that diligent, decades-long practice that makes it so easy now to tell a "fake", luciferian dream from a real one. Anyway, in my dream I knew that the images were lying implants, so I didn't remember. However, I remember how the cube choked me, and I woke up coughing, with a constricted throat. That is not the first time, I have woken up with that same constricted throat and cough--I always thought it meant that I had no voice to complain about my abuse and suffering, but now I am wondering if the blue cube is an actual implant that they can put in the body for purpose of mind control. I know that I have such an implant in my forehead. Is it possible that they can put an implant in the throat, in an attempt to control someone's speech? I do not underestimate the power of this occult technology (Michael Prince spoke of using temporarily consigned cubes ("ancient, ancient technology" from the pyramids)to control a person through his/her forehead implants, placed there of course, in any initiation to occult society. By the way, that is also known in Revelations as "the mark of the Beast". I am certain that if they got that technology in me, that it would increase my already extreme level of pain, suffering, and stress. However, I still think I could fight back--just as I do, against the implant in my forehead.
When I woke up, I knew that the dog Sirians (NOT the Amon Ra extreme haters) were responsible for trying to shove this blue pill cube down my throat. What can I do? They can get in my house with impunity. They can zap my food when it is scanned at the grocery counter (my God, can you imagine the possibility for EMF totalitarianism, if these aliens ever get a further stranglehold on this society?), so that it initiates the viral download. However, no matter what, they cannot force me to believe lies--whether consciously or unconsciously--much less vocalize them. I have got some further thoughts on this, but at this point, I have said enough--I am going to go back and try to sleep once again, even though my head is so heavy with this viral download and implants.
PS--I hope no one is so literal or fundamentalist as to go on a witch hunt looking for occult significance to surnames. I have an esteemed name in occult circles, and while no doubt I have the genetic transmission that gives the surname its status, I have never been involved in the occult at all, and am committed to fighting its unholy, evil manifestation, in every way possible.
I am not sure what is causing the problem. As mentioned before, there are at least two factions of dog Sirians involved--one the fundamentalist blasphemers who are aethistic in orientation, but who cynically enjoy manipulating human populations through religion. They prefer Islam, but fundamentalist Christianity will do in a pinch (poor Tim Tebow--he looks like he doesn't know what hit him--hang in there kid--abasement of the ego is the first REAL step to not only mature faith, but also to mature manhood. You just got punked by a bunch of blasphemers who tried to trap you with illusion, deception, and lies--its been going on for centuries, but has now reached fever pitch.
The Amon RA clique is the absolute worst of the alien lot. They may have gotten through to me by some kind of transference of technology when I went to the store to return the fish oil that I bought. The other dog Sirians--who I further subdivide into the "pasty Whites" and the "swarthy, olive-complexioned Whites (I think they were very involved with the Italian renaissance), are trying to protect me to some extent (but is it only so that they can "claim" exclusive "ownership rights" to me?). These Sirians want me as a female Isis figure, and are determined to force such a role upon me, no matter how much I suffer in this bizarre mutilation of a female body they have created with their diabolical technology. They don't worship the feminine themselves, but rather they want a holy avatar to use to manipulate human masses again, as they are consummate control freaks, and desire to control humanity at all costs.
WELL FUCK THAT...I am not interested in playing their game, but only exposing it, so that humanity finally frees ourselves from this infernal bunch of "fallen angels". Now, there is some good that the Sirians have done--and I was hoping for an opportunity to present a more balanced analysis, but as I write this, I am going out of my mind with the semi-psychosis caused by the virus, I am asthmatic, and in terrible pain from all the cutting the bastards have done to my back and shoulders.
So, I will just come right out and reveal my dream from last night. I dreamed last night that someone was trying to force a "blue pill" into my mouth. Those familiar with "The Matrix" know that the blue pill represents the illusion of the computer generated slavery, or what Eastern religions term "Maya". You know, an interesting aside is that I have been thinking on the similarity of the word "Maya" (as in Mayan Indians and Mayan calendar), and the word, "Magi". You see the Spanish language pronounces the soft "G" sound as "Y", and for that matter, I believe the Hebrew religion does as well, which is why Jesus' Hebrew pronunciation is "Yeshua". Thus the Maya and the Magi of Babylonian mystery schools (Zoroasterianism) are one and the same--probably in the great post-Flood dispersal, members of the Maya/Magi tribe emigrated to Central America--the question I wonder is, was there another genetic lineage (of Pleiadian ancestry) already present? Did the "Mayans" morph into the bloodthirsty Aztecs offering up constant human sacrifice to placate the "gods", while a more aboriginal population found themselves victimized? . Still yet another interesting aside is the occult significance of the surname "Mayer" or "Meier" or Meijer (the satanic family who owns a change of department stores, originating in Michigan, of the same name). Like all ancient and intergenerational bloodlines, these descendants do quite well for himself. Make no mistake, good people of faith everywhere--Satanism takes care of its own. Jesus said so as much in the gospels when he spoke of how "the world takes care of its 'children'", and believers in the true God needed to assert themselves just as vigorously.
Anyway, getting back to my dream. Someone was forcing a huge blue pill down my throat. It wasn't shaped like a pill, though. It was like a small blue cube--say 2"x2"X2". Now in my dream, they were trying to get me to believe some damned lie , but to be honest, I have been attacked in my dreams for so long, that now, even in my dreams, I know when I am being fed a line of complete shit by a bunch of brain hackers. I thank God that I spent my twenties and thirties doing incessant dream interpretation, for it is that diligent, decades-long practice that makes it so easy now to tell a "fake", luciferian dream from a real one. Anyway, in my dream I knew that the images were lying implants, so I didn't remember. However, I remember how the cube choked me, and I woke up coughing, with a constricted throat. That is not the first time, I have woken up with that same constricted throat and cough--I always thought it meant that I had no voice to complain about my abuse and suffering, but now I am wondering if the blue cube is an actual implant that they can put in the body for purpose of mind control. I know that I have such an implant in my forehead. Is it possible that they can put an implant in the throat, in an attempt to control someone's speech? I do not underestimate the power of this occult technology (Michael Prince spoke of using temporarily consigned cubes ("ancient, ancient technology" from the pyramids)to control a person through his/her forehead implants, placed there of course, in any initiation to occult society. By the way, that is also known in Revelations as "the mark of the Beast". I am certain that if they got that technology in me, that it would increase my already extreme level of pain, suffering, and stress. However, I still think I could fight back--just as I do, against the implant in my forehead.
When I woke up, I knew that the dog Sirians (NOT the Amon Ra extreme haters) were responsible for trying to shove this blue pill cube down my throat. What can I do? They can get in my house with impunity. They can zap my food when it is scanned at the grocery counter (my God, can you imagine the possibility for EMF totalitarianism, if these aliens ever get a further stranglehold on this society?), so that it initiates the viral download. However, no matter what, they cannot force me to believe lies--whether consciously or unconsciously--much less vocalize them. I have got some further thoughts on this, but at this point, I have said enough--I am going to go back and try to sleep once again, even though my head is so heavy with this viral download and implants.
PS--I hope no one is so literal or fundamentalist as to go on a witch hunt looking for occult significance to surnames. I have an esteemed name in occult circles, and while no doubt I have the genetic transmission that gives the surname its status, I have never been involved in the occult at all, and am committed to fighting its unholy, evil manifestation, in every way possible.
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