I figured out yet another karmic influence impacting me. I am NOT Sirian, nor ever have been. As an interdimensional, I was a Cygnan, who chose to identify with, and claim allegiance to the Sirian tribes of Atlantis, because I was in love with a Cat Sirian,Linda And look where it got me. Not only were the human tribes of Atlantis a dying and doomed civilization, with all kinds of fraternal sell out and betrayal, to a terribly hostile race (what kind of person/faction would EVER make any kind of alliance with the reptiles?). Being a man of honor, I continued to honor my naturalized allegiance, even after the Fall of Atlantis, but all for nothing. Sirians were not willing to fight for their own humanoid self-identity, much less support an "alien" Black man, who was earnestly and single-mindedly intent on fighting for it.
All of the alternative UFO/interdimensional community who constantly talk about meeting their "space family", may indeed have their roots in one of the Sirian tribes, but I do not. Yes, I carry all 12 Sirian tribes in my DNA, but guess what? That is the result of 12,000 years of human (you know the inferior slaves bred to service reptiles) interbreeding. So, what does it mean that all of my Sirian DNA is the result of human slavery and Cygnan genetics? I think the master key is the Cygnan DNA, because karmic law made Sirians as a race (with a few individual exceptions) infertile. Nor do I think that mere 3D human DNA, which is what I have, and am transmitting, can create an interdimensional being. Fully matured adults can ascend into the interdimensional realm, but infants can not be born into it. Nor, for that matter can humans mate with interdimensionals and produce an interdimensional child. The history of the human breeding attempts with the Watchers prove this. The creations are "monsters". As a matter of fact, when Watcher/Loretta interfered, and attempted to get me pregnant twice, both times the children were born with serious congenital problems, even though I carried them for less than a day.
No, it is not my human Sirian genes which are special. It is the Cygnan DNA which is the master key, which is why I KNOW that the only way I will be creative is as a Black man. Right now, I only do it through the interdimensional medium of fantasy or dreams, but still it is powerful and spiritually creative. It is also what gives me joy. I figured out that my brain is being flipped into imaging itself as a female by an implant in my right hemisphere, but I am never creative, happy, healthy, joyful or fulfilled as a female in the interdimensional realm. I never sing, dance, play sports, make love, make babies, or vanquish enemies as a female. I am just a teat spigot of brain vibe bliss for all the boys and girls who have sold out their spirit and free will to reptiles, a narcotic.
Sadly, that is what my future is looking like now, as I write this post. For one day, I really thought that I was going to be a free man. However the Sirians read my mind and have subverted the plan, so soon I will lose what little self respect I had as a slave man, and will become a slave woman. Already, I am struggling to get the energy to write these posts. My brain is so testosterone starved, that I cannot hold the thread of a thought in my head. Those who know how to deconstruct texts, can look at the posts of the last few days and see the difference in my writing. Nor can I read. I thought it was the virus impacting my ability to read, but I got a man shot size of testosterone before the flight to HI, and what a difference! Not only in mood and energy, but for the first time in years, I could read as I used to--with speed and comprehension, instead of as a laborious third grader.
I fear that I will never ascend without man sized testosterone. The higher I feel the vibrations in my body, the more my brain slows down. I can literally hear a swooshing pulsing through, like a rush of air going rhythmically, and I think the brain is desperately trying to get extra blood in, to handle all the action taking place in the vibrating body. This is why I suffer from so much fluid in my head, and why, after heavy viral downloads, I need to put my feet up on a wall or bed--I am trying to get blood to the head. There is nothing wrong with my blood. It is just that the brain does not have the necessary fuel to metabolize and use the nutrients in it--just like there is nothing wrong with my brain in reading. It is just that my brain does not have the necessary fuel to move at the speed necessary for full functioning. I am like a starving human. I have a functioning body. I just don't have the fuel necessary to perform at a healthy level.
So, I am rather depressed as I write this. Soon, I will be offered a constricting range of Sirian factions, and I don't think to find any of them very congenial, though I will commit suicide, rather than serve the Dogs or any Amon RA factions. Somehow though, this is related to Osiris' casting in his lot with the Sirians millennia ago, and being rejected, both by the lover for whom he did it, and his own naturalized country.
I am prepared to go through with this, if only for my children. As Sirians, they will suffer from the same curse of sterility. The Sirians are a dying race and have been since before Atlantis. The only hope my children have is of becoming a new race--the Pleiadians, and that is what I want. The Pleiadians are truly human--that is, they are humane. They love, they bond, they provide nurturing families for their children. They fight to protect themselves, and the weakest and oppressed. They do not sell out each other, or a weaker species to reptiles, but rather know that to be fully human, is to protect the weaker, not exploit them in quasi-slavery.
Again, the master key is the Cygnan DNA. I am not sure why, because I am not allowed to exist as a Black man, except in the astral world of my dreams, which I then can never remember. However, I know that I can pass it on to my children, but only as a free man, not a sick, weak, devitalized man, nor as slave woman, which is what I am, and becoming more shackled, weak and debilitated all the time.
Still, I am not the first to experience the despair of slavery. In a worst case scenario, I will just go into a Samson mode--nothing for it right now, but to wait and see.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Friday, July 13, 2012
I guess I am in the big leagues now
I guess I am in the big leagues now--someone from Faction 2 literally tried to assasinate me night before last. I was going out for an evening stroll to try to relieve the back pain I felt. I noticed that I was getting loopy and drugged, but remember, I am often zapped by different energy weapons with different viruses and I thought that is what had happened. When I got back, however, Linda was nearly hysterical. She had a friend with her, and together, they got me to cough up a huge mucous ball. They told me that someone had tried to kill me, and since they are psychics, and monitor my movements, I trust them.
I felt them pull out a little dart--just like a cacti spine. I figured out (the huge mucous ball was a clue--that is the medium in which the bugs live) that they blasted me with bugs that contained code to either give me a heart attack or a stroke. However, I coughed up the huge bug, so I did not die. I woke up with a massive high estrogen headache, and very groggy however, and I have spent all day clearing bugs out of my system--more coughing them up.
I also spent most of the day helping to track and capture my would be assassins, and reliving more past memories of Osiris--the implants that were activated by the bugs set off a bunch of racist crap in my head. I know when the stupidass girl shots, gay boy shots, and racist bs is implanted and when it is real; unfortunately, so many of the psychics violating my privacy don't. Apparently, Osiris had a lot of problems with betrayal by the African humans that he attempted to enlist in his cause for freedom. They preferred Salusa--who has spent the last 70 years or so, doing everything in his power to sell them out as drones to the Greys.
It is hard not to become furious with contempt at these White racist slavers doing this to me. I have made it clear I am not interested in anything at all they have to offer, and cannot abide the abuse that they have forced on me, yet the drama still is forced on me, and now they have tried to kill me.
Oh, and I forgot to mention, that came on the heels of a visit by Salusa, who escaped his cell by a spell of Illusion. A chopper came outside my hotel room and hovered. I was attempting to make love to Linda (in the third time since my HI stay began), when I felt her disengage, and then this energetic presence came up against my rear. I thought it was Linda at first, since I was/am so open to her presence, but something felt wrong, so I stopped. We caught Salusa again, in short order. It is just so disheartening to be under such assault all the time--no one can imagine how persecuted I feel. I went to the store just now, and some little red-headed boy got up and rubbed against my body--except that it wasn't a boy. It was another White racist shape-shifter--the same kind that nearly killed me last night.
I am tired of being surrounded by hostiles, enemies, haters, and slavers. I was talking to Linda today, and she is stressed out, because in the hours and hours I spend in meditation, I will have a memory flash of sex with her, as part of the boredom stream of consciousness. Remember, we have interdimensional sex in my sleep, even if it brings me no conscious joy, and so the memories are there, and when they arise, they are being recorded by the Faction 2 Nazi clowns that occupy the other rooms on the floor--just like they spent hours recording our sex activity and my brain wave responses to it, before.
Still, something has to break, just because it is time. I do feel looser, more centered, and today, I felt my heart beat for the first time in a long time, after doing some clearing work regarding my sister. So, there continues to be a deep confidence in me, that I will break free of this prison in which the KaBal has shackled me for so long, and it is my hope that no one else has to go through what Linda, I, and so many of my children have endured at the hands of this occult KaBal.
I felt them pull out a little dart--just like a cacti spine. I figured out (the huge mucous ball was a clue--that is the medium in which the bugs live) that they blasted me with bugs that contained code to either give me a heart attack or a stroke. However, I coughed up the huge bug, so I did not die. I woke up with a massive high estrogen headache, and very groggy however, and I have spent all day clearing bugs out of my system--more coughing them up.
I also spent most of the day helping to track and capture my would be assassins, and reliving more past memories of Osiris--the implants that were activated by the bugs set off a bunch of racist crap in my head. I know when the stupidass girl shots, gay boy shots, and racist bs is implanted and when it is real; unfortunately, so many of the psychics violating my privacy don't. Apparently, Osiris had a lot of problems with betrayal by the African humans that he attempted to enlist in his cause for freedom. They preferred Salusa--who has spent the last 70 years or so, doing everything in his power to sell them out as drones to the Greys.
It is hard not to become furious with contempt at these White racist slavers doing this to me. I have made it clear I am not interested in anything at all they have to offer, and cannot abide the abuse that they have forced on me, yet the drama still is forced on me, and now they have tried to kill me.
Oh, and I forgot to mention, that came on the heels of a visit by Salusa, who escaped his cell by a spell of Illusion. A chopper came outside my hotel room and hovered. I was attempting to make love to Linda (in the third time since my HI stay began), when I felt her disengage, and then this energetic presence came up against my rear. I thought it was Linda at first, since I was/am so open to her presence, but something felt wrong, so I stopped. We caught Salusa again, in short order. It is just so disheartening to be under such assault all the time--no one can imagine how persecuted I feel. I went to the store just now, and some little red-headed boy got up and rubbed against my body--except that it wasn't a boy. It was another White racist shape-shifter--the same kind that nearly killed me last night.
I am tired of being surrounded by hostiles, enemies, haters, and slavers. I was talking to Linda today, and she is stressed out, because in the hours and hours I spend in meditation, I will have a memory flash of sex with her, as part of the boredom stream of consciousness. Remember, we have interdimensional sex in my sleep, even if it brings me no conscious joy, and so the memories are there, and when they arise, they are being recorded by the Faction 2 Nazi clowns that occupy the other rooms on the floor--just like they spent hours recording our sex activity and my brain wave responses to it, before.
Still, something has to break, just because it is time. I do feel looser, more centered, and today, I felt my heart beat for the first time in a long time, after doing some clearing work regarding my sister. So, there continues to be a deep confidence in me, that I will break free of this prison in which the KaBal has shackled me for so long, and it is my hope that no one else has to go through what Linda, I, and so many of my children have endured at the hands of this occult KaBal.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Still paying back karma...
Still paying back karma...after all these years and lives. I spent all day, yesterday in pursuit and battle with a CIA spaceship which had kept the dream implantation and mind flipping technology on it as a back up. The Patriots figured this out, after they abducted me the preceding night, but I now am able to track the very frequencies that abduct me, so that spaceship and technology is now neutralized--whether that means blasted to hell or in the hands of the Patriots, I do not know. I am not sure which I would prefer. It is scary to think of that spiritual enslavement technology being in the hands of anyone. However, the bottom line is that the reptiles are in possession of it, that they have used it to flip interdimensionals and 3D humans, so maybe it is better if it is the hands of good people who can figure out how to neutralize or counteract it.
Anyway, it was a really rough day, yesterday, because along with the technology to implant my dreams (are they so stupid that they don't know that I know the difference between an implanted dream and a real one?), they had downloaded the pregnancy hormones, also through implants placed in my brain as a child. After all, that was what I was set up for--to not only sexually service Draco reptiles, but to carry natal Amon RA serpents in my uterus. Yuck!!! Can you imagine my disgust and horror at the thought of what these Faction 2 snake slaves have wanted to do to me? The sad thing is, that they are still at it. They are so brainwashed and so soul-lost, that they will not give up. They are like the White slavers in Africa, looking to capture and enslave anybody by any means necessary. They are like the "lost boys", who have no meaning in their sold out lives, except ensnare other victims into the hell in which they live.
The really sad part is that they honestly believe that they have some kind of "soul contract" or "karmic agreement that mandates consent by the victim. That is total bullshit, and the basis of my rational for rejecting reincarnation for years. I will not and do not accept that one's karma from a past life seals one's fate or status in this life. Like most Westerners and people of Judeao-Christian heritage, I believe that every human being is born free--free to choose their identity and their station in life. Yes, none of us are completely free, but ultimately it is our freedom to choose that is the basis of human rights and human dignity.
Now, I am not going to deny that I have a lot of karmic shit clinging to me, which is what gives the KaBal occult power over me; what I do claim is my human birthright to choose whether to accept or reject it, to cooperate with or resist it. I believe that actions have consequences, but I do not believe in punitive suffering for negative or criminal behavior. I mean that sincerely--having served as a counselor in a maximum security prison for five years. I believe instead in a society that tries to help people overcome and rehabilate the damage done by their negative actions in the past, not just for the culpable or unfortunate individual, but for the amity and common good of the social body as a whole.
However, let's face the truth. This is a slave planet. We 3D humans have been sold out to the reptiles by the interdimensional humans (most factions of Sirians), to act as a buffer to protect them. You wonder why imperialism exists? As above, so below. That is why the KaBalist humans are completely unswayed by my presentation of facts and truth--they themselves are slaves in this order, and all they can do is hope to ensnare others to share their misery.
However, all this being said, there can be no question that I have brought a lot of KaBal claim onto my life through actions in my last. However, to be fair, we all have--this is the state of "original sin" into which we are born. A couple of days ago, when I wrote about Elizabeth I, saving England from Spanish invasion by making a pact with interdimensional reptilian entities, I forgot to add that the Spanish should not gloat or be smugly revisionist about a hypothetical history. For the only reason that the Spanish attained the heights of power that it did, was because Ferdinand and Isabella had sold out to the reptiles themselves. As a matter of fact, wherever power surges, it is almost certain that one can find hidden interdimensional (Sirian or reptile) patronage, that is of a slave order.
That is, the interdimensional partners will always want more back than they give (nothing altruistic about our current cosmic setup, folks), and besides gold, what they want, are souls--souls to suffer for (in wars or through economic or social misery) the enjoyment of reptiles, or to service reptiles in whatever capacity they need or choose--including the consumption of humans, or the pedophilic abuse of children.
Now, as I mentioned the Elizabethan curse has been broken, even though it has caused tremendous pain and suffering to the British royal family over the years. However, the curse on America has not been broken. You see, the only outstanding soul contract that I have made is not only personal, but involves the USA, and it was made by my incarnation as George Washington. Now Washington, like Elizabeth I, like so many other rulers, was bascially a good man, who wanted the best for his people. In the dead of winter at Valley Forge, however, his army was in desperate straits. The Americans knew how to fight, but they had no food, no clothes, no weapons or ammo (remember the elementary school stories of bleeding footprints in the snow?). Well, Ben Franklin had been to Europe and made the acquaintance of Freemasons, which were/are a human front for Sirians (you know the interdimensional slavers that I just wrote about). Franklin was very involved in the occult KaBal, and among the acquaintances he made in France was a certain "St. Germain". That is one of Salusa'aliases. Remember Salusa? The one who I have identified as Lucifer, and the being who brought satanic worship to this planet, after he destroyed my own interdimensional status, so that the humans would have no Watcher to look after them?
Well, St. Germain, Salusa, Lucifer, was the one who rescued the American Patriots of the Revolution from certain defeat. Remember, that it is easy for occultists to make gold. That is what Salusa provided Washington and the Patriots--materiel and financial resources to keep the fight going, when it should have died. Now, Washington probably knew that this St. Germain character was not totally trustworthy, but he was desperate. Remember that the Patriots had pledged their "sacred honor, fortunes, and lives" when they signed the Declaration of Independence. They were literally traitors, and four of them were hung, and others had their property confiscated. Britain was ruled by an insane king, and a Parliament which probably was trying to hold the home front together, and had no times for creative and consentual governance with the colonies. So, for Washington, it was imperative that he make the deal with St. Germain, all in exchange for a lighthouse and property at Montauk, and some freemason ritual tomfoolery done in the new capital, such as Masonic cornerstones being placed in the major public buildings.
This deal with (what we know to be) "the devil", is why this nation is now so ruled by negative occult KaBalists. Yes, there has been help along the way--the federal Reserve, Truman, the digging up of the Masonic stones, which then were shipped to lodges, where now magical rituals are performed on them, JFK's assasination, etc. This deal is why I, a simple, "innocent" American citizen have not been able to get any justice for the past 15 years, as I have complained bitterly about my suffering and endured abuse. The KaBal is above the government, and the government struggles to serve the people, and not the KaBal. This has to change, and I am laboring to redress this grievous error I made in my incarnation as George Washington, not only to save my soul, but to save my nation---because the Sirians are slavers. They will not let up until they are flung off by overwhelming force or karmic release.
We 3D humans do not have the necessary overwhelming force, so I must work towards karmic release. In the meantime, I have to eat food that has been contaminated by the Sirian virus, and deal with energy weapons being directed at me, as I walk down the street, but that is okay. I have a plan. It will involve sacrifice and some sadness and loss, but again, the benefit, and my future life, will be worth it, and I really do think that everything will turn out for the best in the long run.
Anyway, it was a really rough day, yesterday, because along with the technology to implant my dreams (are they so stupid that they don't know that I know the difference between an implanted dream and a real one?), they had downloaded the pregnancy hormones, also through implants placed in my brain as a child. After all, that was what I was set up for--to not only sexually service Draco reptiles, but to carry natal Amon RA serpents in my uterus. Yuck!!! Can you imagine my disgust and horror at the thought of what these Faction 2 snake slaves have wanted to do to me? The sad thing is, that they are still at it. They are so brainwashed and so soul-lost, that they will not give up. They are like the White slavers in Africa, looking to capture and enslave anybody by any means necessary. They are like the "lost boys", who have no meaning in their sold out lives, except ensnare other victims into the hell in which they live.
The really sad part is that they honestly believe that they have some kind of "soul contract" or "karmic agreement that mandates consent by the victim. That is total bullshit, and the basis of my rational for rejecting reincarnation for years. I will not and do not accept that one's karma from a past life seals one's fate or status in this life. Like most Westerners and people of Judeao-Christian heritage, I believe that every human being is born free--free to choose their identity and their station in life. Yes, none of us are completely free, but ultimately it is our freedom to choose that is the basis of human rights and human dignity.
Now, I am not going to deny that I have a lot of karmic shit clinging to me, which is what gives the KaBal occult power over me; what I do claim is my human birthright to choose whether to accept or reject it, to cooperate with or resist it. I believe that actions have consequences, but I do not believe in punitive suffering for negative or criminal behavior. I mean that sincerely--having served as a counselor in a maximum security prison for five years. I believe instead in a society that tries to help people overcome and rehabilate the damage done by their negative actions in the past, not just for the culpable or unfortunate individual, but for the amity and common good of the social body as a whole.
However, let's face the truth. This is a slave planet. We 3D humans have been sold out to the reptiles by the interdimensional humans (most factions of Sirians), to act as a buffer to protect them. You wonder why imperialism exists? As above, so below. That is why the KaBalist humans are completely unswayed by my presentation of facts and truth--they themselves are slaves in this order, and all they can do is hope to ensnare others to share their misery.
However, all this being said, there can be no question that I have brought a lot of KaBal claim onto my life through actions in my last. However, to be fair, we all have--this is the state of "original sin" into which we are born. A couple of days ago, when I wrote about Elizabeth I, saving England from Spanish invasion by making a pact with interdimensional reptilian entities, I forgot to add that the Spanish should not gloat or be smugly revisionist about a hypothetical history. For the only reason that the Spanish attained the heights of power that it did, was because Ferdinand and Isabella had sold out to the reptiles themselves. As a matter of fact, wherever power surges, it is almost certain that one can find hidden interdimensional (Sirian or reptile) patronage, that is of a slave order.
That is, the interdimensional partners will always want more back than they give (nothing altruistic about our current cosmic setup, folks), and besides gold, what they want, are souls--souls to suffer for (in wars or through economic or social misery) the enjoyment of reptiles, or to service reptiles in whatever capacity they need or choose--including the consumption of humans, or the pedophilic abuse of children.
Now, as I mentioned the Elizabethan curse has been broken, even though it has caused tremendous pain and suffering to the British royal family over the years. However, the curse on America has not been broken. You see, the only outstanding soul contract that I have made is not only personal, but involves the USA, and it was made by my incarnation as George Washington. Now Washington, like Elizabeth I, like so many other rulers, was bascially a good man, who wanted the best for his people. In the dead of winter at Valley Forge, however, his army was in desperate straits. The Americans knew how to fight, but they had no food, no clothes, no weapons or ammo (remember the elementary school stories of bleeding footprints in the snow?). Well, Ben Franklin had been to Europe and made the acquaintance of Freemasons, which were/are a human front for Sirians (you know the interdimensional slavers that I just wrote about). Franklin was very involved in the occult KaBal, and among the acquaintances he made in France was a certain "St. Germain". That is one of Salusa'aliases. Remember Salusa? The one who I have identified as Lucifer, and the being who brought satanic worship to this planet, after he destroyed my own interdimensional status, so that the humans would have no Watcher to look after them?
Well, St. Germain, Salusa, Lucifer, was the one who rescued the American Patriots of the Revolution from certain defeat. Remember, that it is easy for occultists to make gold. That is what Salusa provided Washington and the Patriots--materiel and financial resources to keep the fight going, when it should have died. Now, Washington probably knew that this St. Germain character was not totally trustworthy, but he was desperate. Remember that the Patriots had pledged their "sacred honor, fortunes, and lives" when they signed the Declaration of Independence. They were literally traitors, and four of them were hung, and others had their property confiscated. Britain was ruled by an insane king, and a Parliament which probably was trying to hold the home front together, and had no times for creative and consentual governance with the colonies. So, for Washington, it was imperative that he make the deal with St. Germain, all in exchange for a lighthouse and property at Montauk, and some freemason ritual tomfoolery done in the new capital, such as Masonic cornerstones being placed in the major public buildings.
This deal with (what we know to be) "the devil", is why this nation is now so ruled by negative occult KaBalists. Yes, there has been help along the way--the federal Reserve, Truman, the digging up of the Masonic stones, which then were shipped to lodges, where now magical rituals are performed on them, JFK's assasination, etc. This deal is why I, a simple, "innocent" American citizen have not been able to get any justice for the past 15 years, as I have complained bitterly about my suffering and endured abuse. The KaBal is above the government, and the government struggles to serve the people, and not the KaBal. This has to change, and I am laboring to redress this grievous error I made in my incarnation as George Washington, not only to save my soul, but to save my nation---because the Sirians are slavers. They will not let up until they are flung off by overwhelming force or karmic release.
We 3D humans do not have the necessary overwhelming force, so I must work towards karmic release. In the meantime, I have to eat food that has been contaminated by the Sirian virus, and deal with energy weapons being directed at me, as I walk down the street, but that is okay. I have a plan. It will involve sacrifice and some sadness and loss, but again, the benefit, and my future life, will be worth it, and I really do think that everything will turn out for the best in the long run.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
It's the end of the world as we know it...
It's the end of the world as we know it...and I feel fine. In the original Star Wars, Lord Tarkin informs the stunned gathering of officers that the new "Death Star" is going to keep the local systems in line. Well, as usual, the info fed George Lucas by the KaBal was a little bit twisted. The "Empire" is not "from a galaxy far far away" in a distant place and time. It is here, now, and the Death Star has been our Moon, and the Empire has been the four species of reptiles I outlined earlier, and their interdimensional and human minions--what I call the KaBal.
I really cannot blame the rulers of Earth for giving in so easily to reptiles and the KaBal. After all, what would you do if someone threatened to tow away the Moon, which is an essential governing feature of our planetary and oceanic stability. Or maybe, they threatened to blast the hollow sphere out of the sky, sending asteroids to Earth, populated by the most vicious of Orionite vampire spiders. So yes, fear has kept the local star system--planet Earth, in line for thousands of years. But now that is over. As of today, the huge reptile/Dog Sirian/Salusa base on the dark side of the Moon is all but destroyed, and the base is now garrisoned by Patriot interdimensional forces.
Yes, I was quite intimately involved, and have been for years, ever since I was a preschool child. Pushing so hard for Ascension, Linda was reading my mind, when memories starting surfacing of brutal childhood anal rapes by the Draco lizards (remember the Dracos are affiliated with the Amon RA cult, because they use the Amon RA serpents to mind control their cultic victims). I really don't have much of the memory within me, but I know that the rapes of my younger brother and I were so severely brutal, that they were done in a clinical setting, so that the damage to the inner organs, the colon, etc, could be repaired when it was over. In other words, the rapes were MEANT to be painfully, destructively brutal. We were about 4 or 5. All I can really remember is a lot of blood being washed down with a water hose. I think we were screaming until we passed out. I got too much going on to think about it right now, but yes, if I think about it, I find it very emotionally trying. Linda was extremely upset and subdued by the memory, and given the anal rapes and horrors that she has experienced, it must have been pretty bad.
At this time, they also put implants in my young brain. These are the implants that they have been using to flip me, for instance, to claim that I am female, at their whim. For this technology is incredibly sophisticated and precise, and was never used haphazardly. The reptiles planned for me to be controlled from a very young age, with the implants switched on when the time was right, which probably was after I had my ova removed for Sirian Martian fertilization, and the implant put in my left optic nerve so that they could control my brain through that route as well (I had to have eye surgery--the pressure on my eyes was literally driving me blind).
Once they were ready for me, I got the full bore treatment. For the last three or so years, the implants in my brain have been used to unfailingly abduct me to the Moon where I have been regularly raped, anally and vaginally, by reptiles. You see, the fate of Linda and myself really were not meant to be so different. She was meant to be an interdimensional sex slave to the human KaBal (especially the CIA, which is responsible for maintaining the files on every human that has these Draco brain implants), while I was meant to be an interdimensional sex slave to the reptiles. This is why I have suffered such anger and alienation upon waking in the morning--I have been raped by lizard monsters the night before, and I cannot remember a thing. I guess Salusa must have seemed like an improvement, which is how I got roped into having sex with him, for of course, he was regularly present at these regular abductions, along with the Nordic Dog Sirians.
Now, maybe it is clear why I kept saying that the Dogs and others who insisted that I be female, were only KaBalists serving the reptilian agenda. They WANTED me as a reptilian sex slave. Why? Because, as is the case with so many Sirians, they will do anything, sell out anybody, their neighbor, their protective charges, their own posterity (do you think it coincidental that they are sterile), as long as they don't have to confront the reptiles. Homo Lumen or Homo Illuminatus or Homo-12 strand DNA, my ass. They are Homo-Chickenshit. I would much rather claim as friend and ally a 3D, Homo-Testituculos, who is willing to stand up and fight for the weak and oppressed, the truth and the right, than I would one of those mealy mouthed interdimensionals, "oh we must follow Galactic Law of karma".
Well guess what, that above is Osiris speaking--an Osiris who gave everything he had to live out his vocation as an Interdimensional Watcher, for which he/I paid a terrible penalty. The Interdimensions are not meant to be aloof from their weaker brethren. They are meant to actively engage any enemy who would try to harm them or their creation. That is what Osiris did, that is what JFK did, and that is what a good number of so-called, "fallen" Watchers did. Yes, some Watchers--Salusa, Samyaza &company, Loretta/Watcher, etc. did abuse the trust placed in them, but many of the 200 fallen watchers, listed in the Book of Enoch, were just penalized for attempting to live out their vocation, while the rest of the Sirian cowed, hid behind the suffering and sell out of humanity (to the reptiles), doing absolutely nothing, just as they did absolutely nothing in the preceding years, while one faction sold out another who in turn, sold out another.
Now, I know that my mutilation of Isis' breasts, which led to her death, was a terrible, terrible crime against God, the natural order, another human being, and my own self. However, the REAL reason I was cast out from the interdimensional world was that I was one of the very few Watchers, who was Homo-Testiculos, a man who honored his vocation, the call to serve and protect not only his own civil society, but those weaker charges that had been placed, by God, under his protection, we relatively weak and cosmically unaware, 3D humans.
So my decision to fight for the weak and oppressed has led to terrible suffering, including this incarnation (I suspect that many ofincarnations have involved reptilian-Dog monitored abuse of the most severe nature, just so that I would debase my soul). Not only was I raped on a regular basis by the Draco reptiles and Dog Sirians (hell yeh, they saw me a female), but I saw atrocities on the Moon committed against other innocents--men, women and children.
Well, knowledge is power--which is why they were always so careful to wipe out memory every night, and the revelation of last night was a huge of boost of testosterone as I needed. During the night, I took out all the defensive weapons of the Moon base. Don't ask me how--let's just say, I was inspired. Then today, the Patriots and myself made a full blown assault on the Moon base. We won. Earth's Moon is now in the hands of Earth's Patriots, and there are multiple parties to thank, but I will leave all of that for a free Earth disclosure--and guess what, Earth is becoming more free, with each passing day.
This morning, the satanists started playing the radio spontaneously and I heard a snippet of a song about, "you were born into this. Accept that you are a loser...blah.blah.blah" Bullshit. That is their problem. That is the Sirian problem. That is the problem of the morally bankrupt and coward, everywhere. Every spiritual tradition, and certainly the Christian one teaches that we are FREE. Yes, our physical freedom can be taken away, but the fundamental, bedrock freedom of choosing good OR evil always remains with us. No matter how much I have suffered at the hands of these rapists over the last three years, I never have swerved from the affirmation of the right, and it would not matter how much I suffered. Yes, now I understand why I suffered so much, but for years, when I endured drugging, incarceration, nightly abductions and mutilation, I still kept aiming for the right, and that is what every human being, even those under subjugation to satanism is called to do. Conversion and forgiveness is possible. Be smart. I am not talking about the KaBal--they are lost. I am talking about all the rudy-poo satanists, like my mother and father, who got involved with an evil that ended up swallowing them whole. Many of you can still save your soul, and I would recommend that you take steps to do so, because your overlords are going away--the reclamation of the Moon is just a first step.
PS--I hope this post makes sense. Some things never change. I have been blasted by an energy weapon while writing it...my brain is a little fuzzy.
I really cannot blame the rulers of Earth for giving in so easily to reptiles and the KaBal. After all, what would you do if someone threatened to tow away the Moon, which is an essential governing feature of our planetary and oceanic stability. Or maybe, they threatened to blast the hollow sphere out of the sky, sending asteroids to Earth, populated by the most vicious of Orionite vampire spiders. So yes, fear has kept the local star system--planet Earth, in line for thousands of years. But now that is over. As of today, the huge reptile/Dog Sirian/Salusa base on the dark side of the Moon is all but destroyed, and the base is now garrisoned by Patriot interdimensional forces.
Yes, I was quite intimately involved, and have been for years, ever since I was a preschool child. Pushing so hard for Ascension, Linda was reading my mind, when memories starting surfacing of brutal childhood anal rapes by the Draco lizards (remember the Dracos are affiliated with the Amon RA cult, because they use the Amon RA serpents to mind control their cultic victims). I really don't have much of the memory within me, but I know that the rapes of my younger brother and I were so severely brutal, that they were done in a clinical setting, so that the damage to the inner organs, the colon, etc, could be repaired when it was over. In other words, the rapes were MEANT to be painfully, destructively brutal. We were about 4 or 5. All I can really remember is a lot of blood being washed down with a water hose. I think we were screaming until we passed out. I got too much going on to think about it right now, but yes, if I think about it, I find it very emotionally trying. Linda was extremely upset and subdued by the memory, and given the anal rapes and horrors that she has experienced, it must have been pretty bad.
At this time, they also put implants in my young brain. These are the implants that they have been using to flip me, for instance, to claim that I am female, at their whim. For this technology is incredibly sophisticated and precise, and was never used haphazardly. The reptiles planned for me to be controlled from a very young age, with the implants switched on when the time was right, which probably was after I had my ova removed for Sirian Martian fertilization, and the implant put in my left optic nerve so that they could control my brain through that route as well (I had to have eye surgery--the pressure on my eyes was literally driving me blind).
Once they were ready for me, I got the full bore treatment. For the last three or so years, the implants in my brain have been used to unfailingly abduct me to the Moon where I have been regularly raped, anally and vaginally, by reptiles. You see, the fate of Linda and myself really were not meant to be so different. She was meant to be an interdimensional sex slave to the human KaBal (especially the CIA, which is responsible for maintaining the files on every human that has these Draco brain implants), while I was meant to be an interdimensional sex slave to the reptiles. This is why I have suffered such anger and alienation upon waking in the morning--I have been raped by lizard monsters the night before, and I cannot remember a thing. I guess Salusa must have seemed like an improvement, which is how I got roped into having sex with him, for of course, he was regularly present at these regular abductions, along with the Nordic Dog Sirians.
Now, maybe it is clear why I kept saying that the Dogs and others who insisted that I be female, were only KaBalists serving the reptilian agenda. They WANTED me as a reptilian sex slave. Why? Because, as is the case with so many Sirians, they will do anything, sell out anybody, their neighbor, their protective charges, their own posterity (do you think it coincidental that they are sterile), as long as they don't have to confront the reptiles. Homo Lumen or Homo Illuminatus or Homo-12 strand DNA, my ass. They are Homo-Chickenshit. I would much rather claim as friend and ally a 3D, Homo-Testituculos, who is willing to stand up and fight for the weak and oppressed, the truth and the right, than I would one of those mealy mouthed interdimensionals, "oh we must follow Galactic Law of karma".
Well guess what, that above is Osiris speaking--an Osiris who gave everything he had to live out his vocation as an Interdimensional Watcher, for which he/I paid a terrible penalty. The Interdimensions are not meant to be aloof from their weaker brethren. They are meant to actively engage any enemy who would try to harm them or their creation. That is what Osiris did, that is what JFK did, and that is what a good number of so-called, "fallen" Watchers did. Yes, some Watchers--Salusa, Samyaza &company, Loretta/Watcher, etc. did abuse the trust placed in them, but many of the 200 fallen watchers, listed in the Book of Enoch, were just penalized for attempting to live out their vocation, while the rest of the Sirian cowed, hid behind the suffering and sell out of humanity (to the reptiles), doing absolutely nothing, just as they did absolutely nothing in the preceding years, while one faction sold out another who in turn, sold out another.
Now, I know that my mutilation of Isis' breasts, which led to her death, was a terrible, terrible crime against God, the natural order, another human being, and my own self. However, the REAL reason I was cast out from the interdimensional world was that I was one of the very few Watchers, who was Homo-Testiculos, a man who honored his vocation, the call to serve and protect not only his own civil society, but those weaker charges that had been placed, by God, under his protection, we relatively weak and cosmically unaware, 3D humans.
So my decision to fight for the weak and oppressed has led to terrible suffering, including this incarnation (I suspect that many ofincarnations have involved reptilian-Dog monitored abuse of the most severe nature, just so that I would debase my soul). Not only was I raped on a regular basis by the Draco reptiles and Dog Sirians (hell yeh, they saw me a female), but I saw atrocities on the Moon committed against other innocents--men, women and children.
Well, knowledge is power--which is why they were always so careful to wipe out memory every night, and the revelation of last night was a huge of boost of testosterone as I needed. During the night, I took out all the defensive weapons of the Moon base. Don't ask me how--let's just say, I was inspired. Then today, the Patriots and myself made a full blown assault on the Moon base. We won. Earth's Moon is now in the hands of Earth's Patriots, and there are multiple parties to thank, but I will leave all of that for a free Earth disclosure--and guess what, Earth is becoming more free, with each passing day.
This morning, the satanists started playing the radio spontaneously and I heard a snippet of a song about, "you were born into this. Accept that you are a loser...blah.blah.blah" Bullshit. That is their problem. That is the Sirian problem. That is the problem of the morally bankrupt and coward, everywhere. Every spiritual tradition, and certainly the Christian one teaches that we are FREE. Yes, our physical freedom can be taken away, but the fundamental, bedrock freedom of choosing good OR evil always remains with us. No matter how much I have suffered at the hands of these rapists over the last three years, I never have swerved from the affirmation of the right, and it would not matter how much I suffered. Yes, now I understand why I suffered so much, but for years, when I endured drugging, incarceration, nightly abductions and mutilation, I still kept aiming for the right, and that is what every human being, even those under subjugation to satanism is called to do. Conversion and forgiveness is possible. Be smart. I am not talking about the KaBal--they are lost. I am talking about all the rudy-poo satanists, like my mother and father, who got involved with an evil that ended up swallowing them whole. Many of you can still save your soul, and I would recommend that you take steps to do so, because your overlords are going away--the reclamation of the Moon is just a first step.
PS--I hope this post makes sense. Some things never change. I have been blasted by an energy weapon while writing it...my brain is a little fuzzy.
Monday, July 9, 2012
Continuing setbacks
Continuing setbacks in my attempts at Ascension. I am afraid that there is more bad karmic history coming to light. Richard the Lionheart forcibly clitorodectimized his wife, with all the excruciating pain and agony that entailed, because he was enraged when she mocked him for being gay. Of course, the wife was an incarnation of Linda, so it just is more of the same misogynistic hatred for the feminine that mars Osiris' otherwise virtuous character. Even worse was a new revelation regarding Charlemagne. I knew that he was bad news when I saw a photo of his potrait, and recognized a deeply evil face. How evil? Really, really evil. Charlemagne was a satanist, a real hard core follower of the Beast of Babylon, who sold his soul for power to the Merovingian sea serpent cult. Of course, that always damages one, and the memories that are coming up reveal that he slaughtered innocent men and women in villages, primarily because he was having a bad day and wanted to see some suffering to make him feel better, and secondarily, as a satanic sacrifice offering.
I am overwhelmed by all the negativity and evil in my past lives. I had to get away from it all, if only for a few minutes. I mean, how much apology, regret, and contrition can one person experience for all the evil done in over 12,000 years of incarnational history. Of course, I am sickened by it all. More than anything else, I want Linda and I to be restored in freedom to see out and redeem our relationship, so that our tortured history is no longer the ritual centerpiece of satanic mythology. I do not believe in the killing of innocents, and I understand fully the terror and hardship that Charlemagne thrust on those people. I don't even need to go medeival European to understand that--how many movies have I seen of American GI's lighting Vietnamese homes on fire, or the bombed out wrecks that much of Europe had to live in following WWII?
No, I am sickened by the whole current cosmic setup, in which the overwhelming majority of people feed evil by needless suffering. There is always going to be suffering, but needless suffering, contrived suffering, suffering to feed the demonic appetite for emotional pain--that is what I cannot bear, and what must stop. The next door or so to me are a group of young White satanists--yes, I can tell by their eyes. Their job is to harass me by being loud and inappropriate as they walk by my door, and banging their doors loudly, etc. However, it was disturbing, because the images of Charlemagne committing innocent murder, excited the whole lot of them. I could feel it, though I myself could not see the memory, though I wish I could, so that I could really experience the horror of it all Nothing really mystical about the contagion of evil that swept up the gang of satanists--I used to feel it in prison, after a vicious assault or race/gang riot--it is Satan running up and down the nerve centers of all those who are compromised by him in any way, or God forbid, are possessed by him. I was followed to the elevator by one such satanist, and saw his eyes--gleeful with excitement and delight and possessed by evil.
Now, I have been stalked by evill so long that I am not as intidimated as some might think--though very, very wary. However, I tell you this, so that you understand the enemies that currently pursue me. I am realizing though, that these satanists claim me, because too many of my incarnational experiences have revolved around hatred--especially hatred of feminine power--which is why I now suffer in a body completely uncongenial to my psyche and termperment. For that matter, it explains why my own clitoris has been repeatedly exised by the KaBal. However, even one satanic incarnation (and I think it closer to 2 or 3) is too much, and the evil that Charlemagne did can never be undone, but only wept over. Does my incarnation as the harassed and persecuted Prophet Jeremiah, trying to hide the Temple treasure, and secret books of the Qabbal, so that they would not fall into apostate, evil hands, undo the damage I did as Rabbi Antonio, the Venetian, and his book on how to make a pact with the devil?
You know, I am glad that I can see all these lifetimes. It truly is a gift for me to recognize so many, though I wish that there were fewer negative ones. No matter what, I know that this gift of recognition of the fullness of my 3D incarnations is a blessing, but the more I learn, the more I know that I have to break free of this interdimensional predatory trap, and do what I can to free others. I am NOT a hater, no matter the actions of my previous lifetimes. Maybe if I had been born in the body of a male, I would not feel so keenly my past misogynism towards women, but I am one of the strongest supporters of the feminine that I know. I see where the KaBalists are doing their best to reignite the race hatred and wars of the 1960's. You know, the race tension in this country is one of the reasons that I voted for Obama in 2008, even though I already had a correct bead on his character, and in spite of how highly I regarded McCain. But I thought, I hoped, that the more senior politicians could guide him towards the best, while his election as a Black man in a country with a slavery/racist heritage, would do more for Black people and racial relations than all the affirmative action in the world. Well, I think I was right. Yes, I had to bite my lip to vote for Obama, but a small, little sacrifice on my part, mirrored the overall sentiment of the country (and yes, haters, Obama really did win that election), and I really think it is going to yield results. The satanists may get all excited over racial tensions and try to exploit them, but I think that they are going to fail.
This is what I do constantly, even if people cannot see or recognize it. I try to do the right thing, even if it is personally challenging or difficult for me, and I hope that it bodes well in and bears fruit for the future. (Oh, and just to be clear--there is nothing "sacrificial" about my wanting to be a Black man. That vision actually gives me a great sense of fulfillment and satisfaction--it is who I was, who I am, and who I am meant to be). So, I have to continue to fight for my future--this never ending struggle for my soul is really wearing on me, but the consequences are so huge--Grace help me to persevere and win this battle, not just for me, Linda, and our children, but for all the poor satanically abused, who have been victimized by my unwitting, ancient rage and barbaric actions as one of the primary ritual templates for the most odious and evil of human cults--that of Salusa's (Lucifer's) satanic brotherhood of the Beast.
I am overwhelmed by all the negativity and evil in my past lives. I had to get away from it all, if only for a few minutes. I mean, how much apology, regret, and contrition can one person experience for all the evil done in over 12,000 years of incarnational history. Of course, I am sickened by it all. More than anything else, I want Linda and I to be restored in freedom to see out and redeem our relationship, so that our tortured history is no longer the ritual centerpiece of satanic mythology. I do not believe in the killing of innocents, and I understand fully the terror and hardship that Charlemagne thrust on those people. I don't even need to go medeival European to understand that--how many movies have I seen of American GI's lighting Vietnamese homes on fire, or the bombed out wrecks that much of Europe had to live in following WWII?
No, I am sickened by the whole current cosmic setup, in which the overwhelming majority of people feed evil by needless suffering. There is always going to be suffering, but needless suffering, contrived suffering, suffering to feed the demonic appetite for emotional pain--that is what I cannot bear, and what must stop. The next door or so to me are a group of young White satanists--yes, I can tell by their eyes. Their job is to harass me by being loud and inappropriate as they walk by my door, and banging their doors loudly, etc. However, it was disturbing, because the images of Charlemagne committing innocent murder, excited the whole lot of them. I could feel it, though I myself could not see the memory, though I wish I could, so that I could really experience the horror of it all Nothing really mystical about the contagion of evil that swept up the gang of satanists--I used to feel it in prison, after a vicious assault or race/gang riot--it is Satan running up and down the nerve centers of all those who are compromised by him in any way, or God forbid, are possessed by him. I was followed to the elevator by one such satanist, and saw his eyes--gleeful with excitement and delight and possessed by evil.
Now, I have been stalked by evill so long that I am not as intidimated as some might think--though very, very wary. However, I tell you this, so that you understand the enemies that currently pursue me. I am realizing though, that these satanists claim me, because too many of my incarnational experiences have revolved around hatred--especially hatred of feminine power--which is why I now suffer in a body completely uncongenial to my psyche and termperment. For that matter, it explains why my own clitoris has been repeatedly exised by the KaBal. However, even one satanic incarnation (and I think it closer to 2 or 3) is too much, and the evil that Charlemagne did can never be undone, but only wept over. Does my incarnation as the harassed and persecuted Prophet Jeremiah, trying to hide the Temple treasure, and secret books of the Qabbal, so that they would not fall into apostate, evil hands, undo the damage I did as Rabbi Antonio, the Venetian, and his book on how to make a pact with the devil?
You know, I am glad that I can see all these lifetimes. It truly is a gift for me to recognize so many, though I wish that there were fewer negative ones. No matter what, I know that this gift of recognition of the fullness of my 3D incarnations is a blessing, but the more I learn, the more I know that I have to break free of this interdimensional predatory trap, and do what I can to free others. I am NOT a hater, no matter the actions of my previous lifetimes. Maybe if I had been born in the body of a male, I would not feel so keenly my past misogynism towards women, but I am one of the strongest supporters of the feminine that I know. I see where the KaBalists are doing their best to reignite the race hatred and wars of the 1960's. You know, the race tension in this country is one of the reasons that I voted for Obama in 2008, even though I already had a correct bead on his character, and in spite of how highly I regarded McCain. But I thought, I hoped, that the more senior politicians could guide him towards the best, while his election as a Black man in a country with a slavery/racist heritage, would do more for Black people and racial relations than all the affirmative action in the world. Well, I think I was right. Yes, I had to bite my lip to vote for Obama, but a small, little sacrifice on my part, mirrored the overall sentiment of the country (and yes, haters, Obama really did win that election), and I really think it is going to yield results. The satanists may get all excited over racial tensions and try to exploit them, but I think that they are going to fail.
This is what I do constantly, even if people cannot see or recognize it. I try to do the right thing, even if it is personally challenging or difficult for me, and I hope that it bodes well in and bears fruit for the future. (Oh, and just to be clear--there is nothing "sacrificial" about my wanting to be a Black man. That vision actually gives me a great sense of fulfillment and satisfaction--it is who I was, who I am, and who I am meant to be). So, I have to continue to fight for my future--this never ending struggle for my soul is really wearing on me, but the consequences are so huge--Grace help me to persevere and win this battle, not just for me, Linda, and our children, but for all the poor satanically abused, who have been victimized by my unwitting, ancient rage and barbaric actions as one of the primary ritual templates for the most odious and evil of human cults--that of Salusa's (Lucifer's) satanic brotherhood of the Beast.
More negative karma coming to light...
More negative karma coming to light...
I do believe that I am on some kind of psychotropic that is really killing my energy levels--it almost is as if they have been deliberately capped, and indeed, they have, and indeed, it has been done deliberately. I keep saying that hormonal pushing of estrogen and psychotropics on me will never make me a woman, but only a weak, devitalized man. I now realize, that is precisely the point. I am reliving a karmic re-enactment of the tragic and heavy truth of Osiris and Isis descent into the underworld, and it may be deliberate. For right now, even though she is an interdimensional, Linda is still confined by the limitations of the interdimensional land of "the dead", for her elevated consciousness was not solely the result of Ascension, but rather of mortal death. I am not certain, but I think that it means that she can be thrown back into the world of rebirth for even a minor provocation, which is why I have sensed that she is almost a slave in the interdimensional world. She has to fear the revocation of her status, and any kind of attitude problem or misstep could send some judging interdimensional calling for a recall tribunual.
So, I think maybe a benevolent deal was made that if we could work out our memories and heal our karmas together, we could both maintain Ascension status. Well, we are getting our doing our part, let me tell you. Last night, I made a late night walk to the grocery, and saw all the people having fun, drinking beer and listening to music, and all I could think of was me spending all my days in Honolulu, stuck in a hotel room, spitting up bugs and mucous, barely able to keep my eyes open, and just being slammed with one revelation after another--oh, and all the while, trying to keep the "Bad guys" from overwhelming us. As I said to myself, "When this is all over, I need a vacation".
Anyway, the good news is that apparently, the Dog Sirians that were hounding Linda are gone, and now, I am back to the hard psychological/spiritual work. So, here is the latest revelation holding back Ascension. Most people are at least vaguely familiar with the myth of Osiris and Isis--Osiris, being murdered by Set, Isis finding his body, and reconstituting it, except for the penis, and Osiris being the Lord of the Underworld, the land of the "the dead", where I am living right now.
Well, as usual, there was state-imposed redaction committed upon the true story, so that the peasants would all have warm fuzzies about the slavery being yoked upon them by the new occult overlords of Egypt and their Pharaohs. Here is how the story really went down. Osiris was a free lancing Jedhi, who drove Salusa (Set) down to Babylon. The lion monument that Salusa-Set had created for himself, got a face lift (the Sphinx) by the new ruler, which was not Osiris, though probably he supported him. Now, Osiris maintainted combat engagements with the Cat Sirians. Even though the Cats were not directly involved with the treasonous sell out to the reptiles, they had followed Salusa (an alpha Cat) to Egypt, where they, not knowing the full extent of his treachery, rallied around him. The Cats have always been the most oppressed of the Sirian tribes, though I am not sure why that is, except that they are powerful psychics, and the reptiles want them badly, so maybe they always have to defend against being sold into slavery by their own brethren. Isis (in this incarnation, that was definitely her name), was a Cat. As a matter of fact, she told me that she been a Cat in her previous incarnation on Atlantis, when Osiris murdered her the first time.
For remember, I said that Osiris murdered her a second time. Well, here is how that part goes. He was a Jedhi outlaw or cowboy figure, and he hooked up with a prostitute named Isis. She had been reborn, and still had her interdimensional consciousness, and was out to get revenge on the man who had murdered her. She also wanted vengeance and justice for the Cats (once again she was a Cat), whom Osiris had roundly defeated. So, she became a lover of Osiris once again, once again having his child, Horus, all the while being a spy and agent for the Cats. Osiris and his units began suffering reversals, and Osiris identified Isis as the treacherous spy in his midst. He also identified her as the Atlantean Linda who had opened the stargate during the Fall of Atlantis, and here is where it gets really ugly.
As I mentioned in an earlier post, Osiris had become increasingly misogynistic and bitter, as he swore off all women, after Linda's murder. He was a man who desperately needed a woman to help him get relate to his feeling function, and without it, he became cold and cruel. Still, I was shocked at what he did to Isis. Upon learning that she was the betrayer in the camp, he cut off both her breasts and left her to bleed to death, which she did, but not before she got her desired revenge. For this incident resulted in Salusa finding Osiris. (Isis was not sexually involved with Salusa, but he was the leader of the Cats, and so was in contact with her). This was when Osiris was tortured and brain damaged with switches and implantation of false memories. Salusa intended to kill him at the end, anyway, but first he listened to Isis, who was living in the world with no breasts, and cut off Osiris' penis, at her request.
Now, one thing I have to say about what little I know of LInda is that she does suffer from female vanity. It kind of surprises me, because after all, she is a hermaphrodite, but that extra Y chromosome thrown in, can't offset her two XX's. I imagine that in all of her incarnations, she has been femininely vain, and therefore, it must have been distressing in the extreme to lose her breasts. Of course, it must have been infuriating to once again, go for the spurned woman's revenge against Osiris, and been thwarted. As for Osiris, cutting off his breasts, I cannot even begin to make any apology or justification for myself, at that point. It was a different time and place. I guess I was hardened from constant warfare, and alienated from all feeling, as a result of my contempt for all women. All I can say is that I understand now why I have been so disturbed by the image of that masectomized sex slave female. I have kept seeing it over and over in my head, and thinking again and again, about Linda's own comments and feelings regarding her breasts, and that should have told me that there was some painful memory, there.
In the Fall of Atlantis, Linda was the primary culprit in the infliction of the spiritual/psychological wound; in this case, though, Osiris is, and yes, I can apologize all I want (and of course, I am literally horrified, sickened and saddened by what I did), but it doesn't change what happened. Osiris loved Isis. How could someone be so twisted inside that they could do that to someone they love?
Anyway, Osiris and Isis end up in interdimensional hell (kind of like where I am at) for an extended period of time. Osiris has no phallus--that means he has no vitality, no strength, no masculine creativity, and a severely compromised sexuality and therefore, a compromised spirituality. Like me, this once strong warrior and scientific thinker is an enervated, devitalized man, barely able to get up and function most days. I know now that I have been looking to re-enact this karmic interdimensional suffering, since the reptiles castrated me and Salusa cut out my lower back muscles. The castration devastated me emotionally and spiritually, but it was the loss of the lower sacral muscles and the inverted tilt of my pelvis, which literally took all my energy away. I have never been fully healthy since, at least in an energetic sense. I have become a devitalized, sickly man, without the energy to reach creative potential. Furthermore, there are some Sirian factions (many of them I really do believe hate the masculine energetic principle, since they identify it solely with aggression and war--which they believe led to the Fall, rather than the pervasive immorality, such as ritual sex, and betrayal of top elites), who would like to see me do an extended stay in interdimensional hell, in such a condition. Then there are some Sirian factions who would like to see me remain a devitalized, weak man, because then they lose the would-be liberator challenger that they fear most.
It is my temptation. Can Osiris forgive Isis for the betrayalS and the loss of his penis, or do I stew in anger, hatred and misogynism, for another few millennia? That is what Osiris did with his time in interdimensional hell. Isis suffered too--she got trapped into sex addiction by the virtual reality fantasies offered by the MACHINE. Try not to think of the time as a barbaric civilization--they had a lot more amenities than we do now, and virutal reality sex, which ultimately the MACHINE sampled, manipulated, and enjoyed, was one such offering. Needless to say, this kind of sex perversion debases one's soul, greatly. Osiris didn't have enough libido to enjoy sex--his sense of soul was debased by the loss of his penis, which impacted not only his sex life, but his entire sense of manly self.
Do you see now, why I keep seeing myself as a woman--I keep falling prey to the old feeling (Osiris and Isis spent decades in interdimensional hell), of being victimized as a castrated man (= "woman"--"I'm going to make you sing soprano"). Since I am in interdimensional hell, that is a pretty heavy pull to buck. Not only do I have my guilt to contend with, but also the betrayal, and the fear of what Isis will do to me, should I trust her again.
I think it was after this second episode that the ruling judges of the Interdimensional world (whoever and whatever they may be), rescinded their 12D consciousness. Clearly, both of us had devolved into barbaric behavior of the lowest possible standard. What is worst of all, is that we both loved each other deeply (we kept hooking up and having children), and for two people who love each other to act in such cruel and vindictive fashion towards each other is not only unfathomable, but deeply toxic and shocking to the social order around one.
I would like to think that Osiris and Isis were the archetypal figures of a corrupted, betrayed, and fallen world. In other words, just as I complain about what I pereceive to be the moral shortcomings of contemporary Sirians, many of whom seem cold, indifferent and even predatory to humans they regard as inferior, Osiris and Isis were equally spiritually traumatized by the destruction of their civilization in a different, more immediate and personally vindictive way. I hope that the birth of our children portends new life--not only for Linda and I, but for all of interdimensional humanoid civilization, but first I have to overcome all these ancient memories, fears and pain--otherwise the myth of Osiris will repeat again and again and again, until I learn to forgive, love and trust.
I do believe that I am on some kind of psychotropic that is really killing my energy levels--it almost is as if they have been deliberately capped, and indeed, they have, and indeed, it has been done deliberately. I keep saying that hormonal pushing of estrogen and psychotropics on me will never make me a woman, but only a weak, devitalized man. I now realize, that is precisely the point. I am reliving a karmic re-enactment of the tragic and heavy truth of Osiris and Isis descent into the underworld, and it may be deliberate. For right now, even though she is an interdimensional, Linda is still confined by the limitations of the interdimensional land of "the dead", for her elevated consciousness was not solely the result of Ascension, but rather of mortal death. I am not certain, but I think that it means that she can be thrown back into the world of rebirth for even a minor provocation, which is why I have sensed that she is almost a slave in the interdimensional world. She has to fear the revocation of her status, and any kind of attitude problem or misstep could send some judging interdimensional calling for a recall tribunual.
So, I think maybe a benevolent deal was made that if we could work out our memories and heal our karmas together, we could both maintain Ascension status. Well, we are getting our doing our part, let me tell you. Last night, I made a late night walk to the grocery, and saw all the people having fun, drinking beer and listening to music, and all I could think of was me spending all my days in Honolulu, stuck in a hotel room, spitting up bugs and mucous, barely able to keep my eyes open, and just being slammed with one revelation after another--oh, and all the while, trying to keep the "Bad guys" from overwhelming us. As I said to myself, "When this is all over, I need a vacation".
Anyway, the good news is that apparently, the Dog Sirians that were hounding Linda are gone, and now, I am back to the hard psychological/spiritual work. So, here is the latest revelation holding back Ascension. Most people are at least vaguely familiar with the myth of Osiris and Isis--Osiris, being murdered by Set, Isis finding his body, and reconstituting it, except for the penis, and Osiris being the Lord of the Underworld, the land of the "the dead", where I am living right now.
Well, as usual, there was state-imposed redaction committed upon the true story, so that the peasants would all have warm fuzzies about the slavery being yoked upon them by the new occult overlords of Egypt and their Pharaohs. Here is how the story really went down. Osiris was a free lancing Jedhi, who drove Salusa (Set) down to Babylon. The lion monument that Salusa-Set had created for himself, got a face lift (the Sphinx) by the new ruler, which was not Osiris, though probably he supported him. Now, Osiris maintainted combat engagements with the Cat Sirians. Even though the Cats were not directly involved with the treasonous sell out to the reptiles, they had followed Salusa (an alpha Cat) to Egypt, where they, not knowing the full extent of his treachery, rallied around him. The Cats have always been the most oppressed of the Sirian tribes, though I am not sure why that is, except that they are powerful psychics, and the reptiles want them badly, so maybe they always have to defend against being sold into slavery by their own brethren. Isis (in this incarnation, that was definitely her name), was a Cat. As a matter of fact, she told me that she been a Cat in her previous incarnation on Atlantis, when Osiris murdered her the first time.
For remember, I said that Osiris murdered her a second time. Well, here is how that part goes. He was a Jedhi outlaw or cowboy figure, and he hooked up with a prostitute named Isis. She had been reborn, and still had her interdimensional consciousness, and was out to get revenge on the man who had murdered her. She also wanted vengeance and justice for the Cats (once again she was a Cat), whom Osiris had roundly defeated. So, she became a lover of Osiris once again, once again having his child, Horus, all the while being a spy and agent for the Cats. Osiris and his units began suffering reversals, and Osiris identified Isis as the treacherous spy in his midst. He also identified her as the Atlantean Linda who had opened the stargate during the Fall of Atlantis, and here is where it gets really ugly.
As I mentioned in an earlier post, Osiris had become increasingly misogynistic and bitter, as he swore off all women, after Linda's murder. He was a man who desperately needed a woman to help him get relate to his feeling function, and without it, he became cold and cruel. Still, I was shocked at what he did to Isis. Upon learning that she was the betrayer in the camp, he cut off both her breasts and left her to bleed to death, which she did, but not before she got her desired revenge. For this incident resulted in Salusa finding Osiris. (Isis was not sexually involved with Salusa, but he was the leader of the Cats, and so was in contact with her). This was when Osiris was tortured and brain damaged with switches and implantation of false memories. Salusa intended to kill him at the end, anyway, but first he listened to Isis, who was living in the world with no breasts, and cut off Osiris' penis, at her request.
Now, one thing I have to say about what little I know of LInda is that she does suffer from female vanity. It kind of surprises me, because after all, she is a hermaphrodite, but that extra Y chromosome thrown in, can't offset her two XX's. I imagine that in all of her incarnations, she has been femininely vain, and therefore, it must have been distressing in the extreme to lose her breasts. Of course, it must have been infuriating to once again, go for the spurned woman's revenge against Osiris, and been thwarted. As for Osiris, cutting off his breasts, I cannot even begin to make any apology or justification for myself, at that point. It was a different time and place. I guess I was hardened from constant warfare, and alienated from all feeling, as a result of my contempt for all women. All I can say is that I understand now why I have been so disturbed by the image of that masectomized sex slave female. I have kept seeing it over and over in my head, and thinking again and again, about Linda's own comments and feelings regarding her breasts, and that should have told me that there was some painful memory, there.
In the Fall of Atlantis, Linda was the primary culprit in the infliction of the spiritual/psychological wound; in this case, though, Osiris is, and yes, I can apologize all I want (and of course, I am literally horrified, sickened and saddened by what I did), but it doesn't change what happened. Osiris loved Isis. How could someone be so twisted inside that they could do that to someone they love?
Anyway, Osiris and Isis end up in interdimensional hell (kind of like where I am at) for an extended period of time. Osiris has no phallus--that means he has no vitality, no strength, no masculine creativity, and a severely compromised sexuality and therefore, a compromised spirituality. Like me, this once strong warrior and scientific thinker is an enervated, devitalized man, barely able to get up and function most days. I know now that I have been looking to re-enact this karmic interdimensional suffering, since the reptiles castrated me and Salusa cut out my lower back muscles. The castration devastated me emotionally and spiritually, but it was the loss of the lower sacral muscles and the inverted tilt of my pelvis, which literally took all my energy away. I have never been fully healthy since, at least in an energetic sense. I have become a devitalized, sickly man, without the energy to reach creative potential. Furthermore, there are some Sirian factions (many of them I really do believe hate the masculine energetic principle, since they identify it solely with aggression and war--which they believe led to the Fall, rather than the pervasive immorality, such as ritual sex, and betrayal of top elites), who would like to see me do an extended stay in interdimensional hell, in such a condition. Then there are some Sirian factions who would like to see me remain a devitalized, weak man, because then they lose the would-be liberator challenger that they fear most.
It is my temptation. Can Osiris forgive Isis for the betrayalS and the loss of his penis, or do I stew in anger, hatred and misogynism, for another few millennia? That is what Osiris did with his time in interdimensional hell. Isis suffered too--she got trapped into sex addiction by the virtual reality fantasies offered by the MACHINE. Try not to think of the time as a barbaric civilization--they had a lot more amenities than we do now, and virutal reality sex, which ultimately the MACHINE sampled, manipulated, and enjoyed, was one such offering. Needless to say, this kind of sex perversion debases one's soul, greatly. Osiris didn't have enough libido to enjoy sex--his sense of soul was debased by the loss of his penis, which impacted not only his sex life, but his entire sense of manly self.
Do you see now, why I keep seeing myself as a woman--I keep falling prey to the old feeling (Osiris and Isis spent decades in interdimensional hell), of being victimized as a castrated man (= "woman"--"I'm going to make you sing soprano"). Since I am in interdimensional hell, that is a pretty heavy pull to buck. Not only do I have my guilt to contend with, but also the betrayal, and the fear of what Isis will do to me, should I trust her again.
I think it was after this second episode that the ruling judges of the Interdimensional world (whoever and whatever they may be), rescinded their 12D consciousness. Clearly, both of us had devolved into barbaric behavior of the lowest possible standard. What is worst of all, is that we both loved each other deeply (we kept hooking up and having children), and for two people who love each other to act in such cruel and vindictive fashion towards each other is not only unfathomable, but deeply toxic and shocking to the social order around one.
I would like to think that Osiris and Isis were the archetypal figures of a corrupted, betrayed, and fallen world. In other words, just as I complain about what I pereceive to be the moral shortcomings of contemporary Sirians, many of whom seem cold, indifferent and even predatory to humans they regard as inferior, Osiris and Isis were equally spiritually traumatized by the destruction of their civilization in a different, more immediate and personally vindictive way. I hope that the birth of our children portends new life--not only for Linda and I, but for all of interdimensional humanoid civilization, but first I have to overcome all these ancient memories, fears and pain--otherwise the myth of Osiris will repeat again and again and again, until I learn to forgive, love and trust.
I do believe that my posts are being read,
I do believe that my posts are being read, so I will continue to post as long as I can. I continue to work on Ascension, but the process is laborious. There is a lot of pain in my heart and around my heart, all from relations with women, originating with the terrible betrayal by Linda at Atlantis. The head or mind can understand all it wants to--it is the heart, though, which is preventing Ascension. I think I fear opening up to love again. Last night I think that I may have been cleared of an inner vow never to love a woman again, which certainly would explain all my gay man and celibate vocations, but still I have not yet been fully able to clear this pain, and so I keep flipping in my unconsciousness.
From what I can gather, in my unconsciousness, I still insist that I am a woman. Needless to say, I wake up alienated and depressed, and it takes me a while to clear THAT out. I AM NOT A WOMAN. I NEVER HAVE BEEN A WOMAN. I DO NOT WANT TO BE A WOMAN. THERE IS NO CREATIVITY OR PRODUCTIVITY ASSOCIATED WITH ME AS A FEMININE PERSONALITY, AND NEVER HAS BEEN. However, I can claim all I want that I am a man, and have only one identity with which I will be happy and productive in the interdimensional realm--that of a Black man, the physical reincarnation of my Watcher self, "The Shadow of God", not because I am evil, but because I am Black. It will not matter to these Sirians, who for some reason, will not accept not only my personal preference, but the cosmic necessity for me to return to my interdimensional status as a Black man. I have tried to make it as clear as I can, but no matter what, it is not good enough.
Part of the problem is that I am on so much female hormones that the brain is easy to flip, but I know myself. The only thing that keeps me going and moving is the imminent possibility of an open relationship with Linda. Without her in my life, without the hope of finally getting rid of this body that I now despise, my depression and alienation will be overwhelming. Already, I am starting to hate the pictures of females on the Internet. I see female athletes that before would have inspired and sexually aroused me, and now they just fill me with loathing, thinking that is my future.
Really, really depressed.
From what I can gather, in my unconsciousness, I still insist that I am a woman. Needless to say, I wake up alienated and depressed, and it takes me a while to clear THAT out. I AM NOT A WOMAN. I NEVER HAVE BEEN A WOMAN. I DO NOT WANT TO BE A WOMAN. THERE IS NO CREATIVITY OR PRODUCTIVITY ASSOCIATED WITH ME AS A FEMININE PERSONALITY, AND NEVER HAS BEEN. However, I can claim all I want that I am a man, and have only one identity with which I will be happy and productive in the interdimensional realm--that of a Black man, the physical reincarnation of my Watcher self, "The Shadow of God", not because I am evil, but because I am Black. It will not matter to these Sirians, who for some reason, will not accept not only my personal preference, but the cosmic necessity for me to return to my interdimensional status as a Black man. I have tried to make it as clear as I can, but no matter what, it is not good enough.
Part of the problem is that I am on so much female hormones that the brain is easy to flip, but I know myself. The only thing that keeps me going and moving is the imminent possibility of an open relationship with Linda. Without her in my life, without the hope of finally getting rid of this body that I now despise, my depression and alienation will be overwhelming. Already, I am starting to hate the pictures of females on the Internet. I see female athletes that before would have inspired and sexually aroused me, and now they just fill me with loathing, thinking that is my future.
Really, really depressed.
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