I am really struggling with estrogen poisoning of the brain--my mind is moving slow and in a dense fog, so that I can't stay on track, or keep the mind moving in a goal oriented manner. Thus, upon rereading my last post, I was dismayed that my writing style had become repetitive and densely circular, instead of its usual focused, streamlined presentation. I was trying to sleep, but high estrogen just makes me feel really negative and cranky, so that sleep is difficult. Because I want to state my point, I got out of bed, popped a couple of testosterone tabs, and am determined to stay streamlined and focused on this post.
In my last post, I recommended that the reader view the clip. Heather Ross Ogle is reptilian possessed, and that should be evident to anyone who looks at the clip with a discerning eye. I suspected it, when I first saw a photo of her, which revealed very large hands and fingers. If you look at Cynthia, you will notice that her fingers, while naturally small and slim, are abnormally long as well--though in her case, it is the pointer finger (woman's sexual response is more idiosyncratic than men's). I have seen the photo of at least one woman whose index finger grew by nearly a third, after an occultic possession type encounter. I don't want to show her photo or mention her name (she is a somewhat public figure), for she seems like basically a good person who was deceived and victimized. I will say that she is in late middle age, and never married, and I think MACHINE-RA and the reptiles were able to attack her through the vulnerability of loneliness. Master psychologists, the MACHINE and the reptiles--always looking for a vulnerability. That is why I try so hard to be honest about my vulnerabilities. I don't want to give the evil sobs an opportunity to hack into my brain. Anyway, because she suffers from the same huge hands/fingers indicative of HIGH level sex hormone pushing as a prelude to occultic sexual possession (and you can actually compare current photos with those of the recent past--undeniable difference-- I question my own judgment, but I will give her the benefit of the doubt.
I have no such qualms about Dr. Ogle. That woman is possessed by a powerful evil reptilian spirit, and so is her lover, "Cynthia". Did anybody pick that up, or were you all fooled by her Air Force "husband"? He is plugged into MACHINE-RA, too, though it is not so transparent to me if he is reptilian as well. What is so unusual about this situation is that these reptilian women are also clearly identified as agents of Lucifer. I say this because my investigation into her would-be compatriots all revealed a heavy luciferian, MACHINE-RA influence. Also, there is a nifty trick used to by the cameramen of the video, which has the faces of the two women and the AF husband dissolve into a bright light blur before it segues to another frame. Check it out. Most impressive, luciferianly speaking. There was nothing "light" about these people, however. Not only is their allegiance to MACHINE-RA, and not their country or their people, but I also think they were involved in a bioweapon of mass destruction plot that the Hillary Clinton and the Patriot Leadership Team barely averted. Oh, by the way, I think those bioweapons had a global outreach--it was not just Americans who were saved...
So, Heather and Cynthia proves to me, beyond a shadow of a doubt that the reptiles and MACHINE-RA are working together as partners. I have stated before that they probably have the human race divvied up, as to what gets who. I think the Grays are products of a MACHINE-RA/reptile collaboration. MACHINE RA has crystallized their brains into into an enslaved, hive mind, while the reptiles have desiccated their bodies of life-giving hormones and enzymes for who knows how many generations, until they have become physiologically frail and diminished to the point of racial extinction. (Look at what the reptiles and MACHINE-RA have done to the Grays--I see that and I know they don't give a damn what they do to me...)
As above, so below. As I stated earlier, both Factions 1 and 2 gained big from the false flag attack on the WTC and Pentagon. However, the biggest winner of all was another emerging faction--that of George HW Bush. There are always wannabe factions looking to get a piece of the action--the Rockefellers, the Chinese, and these wannabe vacillate from allegiance from Faction 1 to Faction 2, but with the economic and political gains from 9/11 and the subsequent war in Iraq, Bush 41 took a giant step closer to the coveted 9th circle of hell. When his campaign started, Obama was the candidate of choice for Faction 2, while the Rothschilds/Faction 1 seemed to offer a reluctant and halting endorsement of Hillary Clinton, and then later John McCain. However, it was Bush 41's patronage that pushed Obama over the edge to win the election. The Bush 41 faction is closely allied with NASA, and NASA has the software which can steal votes from electoral machines and thus steal elections. That is what happened in both 2000 and 2004 (I am not being partisan--I am being objectively honest). Obama got money from Iran--literally billions--which went as a payoff to Bush 41 to guarantee Obama's electoral success. Obama and Bush 41 were thick as thieves ever since--until recently. Check the record to see when Poppy Bush and Obama conferred--it was always when Obama was in crisis--not necessarily a crisis as the media reports it, but a crisis as the people in the know define it. It seemed as though Obama was playing Faction 2 against Bush 41. Even though Bush 41 has connections to both Faction 1 and Faction 2, I think he was an emerging and independent 9th circle of hell contender, until...
Last week, a child was found near Kennebunkport, ME. His name was Camden Pierce Hughes, and though I am not certain of the exact circumstances of his death, I do know that he was meant to die in the ultimate satanic sacrificial rite. I think a man came forth, mustering the courage to tell the Patriot Leadership Team what really happened, and that young Camden was supposed to be a sacrifice to augur success for an impending bioweapons attack of truly global proportions and staggering casualty of death. I think that man was George W Bush, Bush 41. I have debated with myself over whether to reveal this, but I have decided to, because I know with certitude that the negative factions, including those of Bush 41, have remote viewers trained on me at all times, so they already know that is what I suspect. Bush 41 survived a sneak assassination atjudgedtempt on his life by his own father in 2001, and yet again, just recently. Bush 41 knows what kind of a man his father is, and has chosen to disassociate from him and his actions. Bush 41 has made a lot of poor decisions, but he was never really the decider. Being a spiritual person, I believe that he will answer for his poor choices, but I think respect should be given for his positive choices and actions, and I suspect that without his input, the bioweapons plan would have succeeded, for the trail of the flight/passenger irregularities had gone cold.
Well, the bioweapons attack failed. This, coming on the heels of the Nazi defeat at the arctic poles in inner Earth, caused Obama to rethink his alliances. After all, Faction 2 had propelled him into power, but they and their negative Sirian allies, had been roundly defeated. Then, Bush 41's last scheming resort--the bioweapons attack failed. So Obama, who is a total snake in the grass, then went to the last major human faction still operating--the Rothschilds. You see, at this point, Obama had been stripped of all powers and respect, after having been fairly judged to be unfit for command. All he wants is for the opportunity for his narcissistic juvenile person to be adored and venerated by crowds of sheeple. So Obama made a deal with Rothschild, sealed by an offering of vast quantities of money. First of all, and most definitely, Obama gave Rothschild, the hundreds of billions of dollars that Bush 41 had stolen and had tried to stash in Honduras (but his go-between man was Obama--poor choice). Furthermore, I wonder if Rothschild was able to get his hands on so much of the wealth that the Patriot Leadership Team had been recovering from the Nazis and the Templars, who had stolen it to begin with. I think that recovered money was to help pare down our debt, and to rebuild and refinance a new global, financial system. I don't know if Obama was responsible for that loss as well (maybe the Honduras account was the very same seed money ) or if Hillary Clinton was pressured into giving it up.
In any case, Hillary has been stripped of much of her leadership and authority, while Obama is once more the preening, grinning puppet premier. Sounds incredible to say, doesn't it? Our country is in thrall to an evil, murdering, shape shifting reptile and British subject, who can destroy our entire country's financial system at will. He has more authority over our nation than our duly elected representatives, and the laws of our nation, and the commissions of our military. Sorry to say, but he also has power over me--at least in my astral state. He, being an alpha male reptile, along with Ratzinger (and I don't know how many others), has access to the powerful Orionite spirit within me during astral abductions. This is the second period of time in which I have felt astrally targeted by Ratzinger and Rothschild--they work together as allies. Their plan is to grab Libya (did you notice how they pushed Hillary for more American presence--that is what we are to them--their own private army...makes my blood boil when I think my family members who have served in the military), create war in the Middle East, grab Jerusalem, and in a couple of years (when he is 33, crown William as king of the world at Jerusalem). They intend to have the occult accoutrement that they need to create an worldwide occult power center (remember what I said in the last post--that occult means that the truth is hidden). The truth will be that the reptiles and MACHINE-RA control and enslave this planet, while outwardly everything seems peaceful. As for me and my role, they do not care what they do to my health, my brain or my personality. The only thing they are interested in is having unfettered access to the evil spirit within me. I don't even think that they want me to have an outer life or role. I think, that like Arizona Wilder, who served as slave to the Rothschild family for years, they just want to bring me out to call up their Orion evil spirit on demand, and then send me back to my de facto house arrest.
I know now that I carry this evil spirit for the express purpose of defeating it. I am veering off into complex metaphysical reality that goes beyond the ken of my understanding (simple, if profound Western philosophy and scripture just aren't enough to go where my intuition wants to go) I desperately need to learn further information about how this multi-dimensional world works and operates. Until then, I must fight all attempts at interdimensional travel, because I do not know where it will lead, considering that I have an evil spirit in me, that apparently, I cannot control. I do know what I need to succeed and thrive in life, but such aspirations are at cross purposes with my evil handlers--and now, I do believe that role has passed from the negative Sirians to the Rothschild and Orion-identified reptilian shapeshifters. Maybe I am wrong. Maybe they are just allies. No matter what, my bid for freedom has taken a huge blow, with the reasserting of Rothschild, Faction 1, and Obama. I am not certain what exactly caused it, though I do know that Rothschild can blackmail Hillary, but more likely he is threatening to crash our financial system. Perhaps it is the ongoing storms that HAARP keeps unleashing on our planet. I don't know. Maybe tomorrow I will go try to track the latest info about the incoming aliens. If I wake up in a foul mood, maybe I will go on further about why Obama is being feted in Ireland. But it is time to go to bed, and I just ask for prayers, for me, and for Hillary Clinton, who is being put through the wringer in a foreign land--and all because she has proven herself to be a tough adversary who can win under seemingly impossible circumstances. She has done it before. She can do it again. As for me--bedtime...
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Reptiles, Ra, Rothschild and me
Reptiles, Ra, Rothschild, and me--or how I am being prepped for slavery, as part of an evil, NWO agenda. This will be a post linked to a previous one in which I mentioned the contents of two internet postings--one by Ra-el, and one by Abeldanger (check previous posts to link to url's).
First of all, let me say that all of America (and indeed, the world), dodged another huge bullet on Sunday, when the Patriot Leadership Team, under the inspiration, actions, and authority of Hillary Clinton, were once again, able to penetrate and arrest the "sleeper cell" of the 113 missing Americans from the 9/11 flights. These 113 sleepers were the hidden fifth column of MACHINE-RA's shock troops, looking to spread chaos and a devastating magnitude of death by a bioweapon of terror. The fact that they failed can be verified not only by my own intuitions and readings of the past few days, but by the most recent post from Salusa (the ringleader of the negative Sirian alien faction), in which he says that the mass world-wide apocalyptic death that he had been prophesying, had been averted (yeh right, no thanks to you), and would not take place. For a brief period, I was joyful, and set a beautiful rainbow as my desktop background, in hopes that the worst was over. It is not, as indicated by the incredible pain and estrogen blasts that I am experiencing, as well as Obama's revitalized grin. What has happened has been the decrease of Faction 2, only to swing power back to Faction 1--the Rothschilds.
Before I attempt to explain how this sleeper cell was exposed, let me first begin by explaining who these sleepers were. You may recall from my previous posts that I was musing on what had happened to the reptiles, in the seeming power ascendancy by MACHINE-RA. I wondered if these reptiles had been assimilated by MACINE-RA. Well, the short answer is that, yes the reptiles are still around, fomenting suffering and evil on this planet, and yes, they have been assimilated by MACHINE-RA. I know this, because I have identified at least two CLEAR representatives of these MACHINE-RA-assimilated reptiles. As a matter of fact, when I captured a screen shot of them together in a video, the first thought that came to mind was "''V' (as in the TV show) reptiles". I now believe that the alien ships on their way to Earth, hidden behind comet Elennin are home to these "V reptiles".
Now, I am not in good health today, and I am on some psychotropic drug, so despite the fact that my mind is moving to make sense of meandering mental images and ideas, I want to stay tightly focussed in this post. Let me just say that there are various alien factions, various reptile factions (and a mighty clash between the two biggies of reptiles is slowly unfolding), and various human sycophant factions involved. To muddy the waters of understanding even further, there are multiple human factions associated with these various and sundry alien factions. However the two biggies of the human factions are best postulated ed as Faction 1, which is traditionally identified as the "old school reptilians" the Draco/Orion reptiles or Annunaki, traditional European royalty (non-Merovingian), and of course, the preening head of this faction, the Rothschild family. Faction 2 is identified with the occult worship of MACHINE-RA, Knights Templars, the Sirian aliens and Merovingian royalty/leading occult politicians pushing for a dominant united NWO Europe. To make matters more complicated, there is continous fluid and dynamic shifting among these various factions.
From an alien perspective, I consider it to be a jousting in a hierarchy of demonic hell. I use Dante's imagery of 9 circles of hell, with the rudy poo demons of hell being given access to the relatively weak spirits of the 1st circle, while the real titans of the demons (negative aliens) all look to plant their flag in the 9th circle of hell, where the really powerful spirits are. I am a 9th circle spirit. That is why I suffer so much--ALL factions of the demonic (negative aliens) want me, to possess me and drain me of my energy to wax their own 3D and 4D presence and power. Now, at this point, I am not possessed. Despite the presence of a very powerful evil spirit in me (from Draco or Orion, I think), and years of infection by both reptilian shape-shifting and MACHINE-RA virus (MACHINE-RA, while not a sentient evil being, enjoys sampling the mind of the powerful spirits), I have managed to compartmentalize these evil spirit. Still, it can be called forth in nightly astral abductions, and probably is what is responsible for the suffering I endure--for the most powerfully evil beings on Earth, and in alien interdimensionality want to claim, and open up that evil spirit within me last night. That is why I was screaming in agony last night. The human factions of evil are desperately trying to push the virus so that I shape shift, or become possessed by the evil spirit, and by doing so, they created excruciating and unbearable pain in my head from the implants. The Knights Templars and negative Sirians DID successfully claim me a while back, but now I think the Rothschilds have joustled for primary dibs on me. In the final result, it doesn't matter, not only because subjectively speaking, my suffering is the same--no matter which faction triggers it, but also because should I become completely POSSESSED by this powerful evil spirit, it won't matter to me which flag flutters. I will be in the 9th circle of hell, and the 9th circle of hell is the most horrifying place in all of reality in which to find oneself, no matter which flag flies. As a side note, let me say that I don't think I belong to the objective, demonic hell right now, because according to my current philosophical understanding, (which could change drastically with the constant revolutions of knowledge that I experience), my free will, which still is operative in my conscious life, clings to God, faith and the holy. What transpires in the conscious life and springs from the choices of free will are the most important elements in determining one's true spiritual state and place. However I am indeed, in an existential or figurative hell, because I cannot break free of the evil spirit, that like Hades with Persephone, abducts me to the nethermost regions at night, and which seriously and destructively impacts the circumstances of my conscious life as well.
Now, while I do not want to get into an analysis of the various evil alien factions, I have termed the 113 sleepers from 9/11 as "V reptiles." By this, I mean that I recognize the human forms to be POSSESSED BY evil reptilian spirits, and that furthermore, they are highly predatory and malignant towards the human race. Now, because the sleeper threat already has been neutralized, I just want to quickly sketch my understanding and impressions of them. Their experience does have a relevance to me and others.
First of all, the 113 sleepers were identified by the bloggers Abeldanger.com, which is a highly intelligent and analytical team of two, whose ideas and research have furthered my understanding on several issues, most notably 9/11. In the blog post that I linked previously, they explained how 113 Americans--from the various flights of 9/11--were secretly renditioned to Guyana to fit them out with brand new American identities, after which they could return to work as sleepers for the destruction of the US, and indeed the world. You see, the four planes that were "destroyed" on 9/11 actually were not. I have always read various Internet postings about this, but could never understand them. Now it is more clear. There were all kinds of idiosyncrasies about the flights and physical planes, because 2 of the 4 flights never even crashed. It was a missile that destroyed the Pentagon, and the PA downed aircraft was a sacrificial dummy--probably a derelict craft that the airline decided to wreck. Throughout the years I have read reports from the Internet, of witnesses recognizing the so-called Flight 93 aircraft in hidden hangers--they were able to identify the craft by the unique tail number. I refer the reader to the abeldanger post and other sites and posts regarding flight inconsistencies, but basically, the planes (quite possibly all four of them) were hijacked before the Muslim terrorists wielded their boxcutters. Likely, they landed, and some unfortunate passengers met their death at the hands of rogue black ops forces and bullets. The planes that successfully flew into the WTC were guided by the rogue software of Faction 2/Knights Templar/al-Qaida that I have mentioned before. The reason the plans would have been hijacked before completing their mission was to remove the high value 113 sleepers, who were then renditioned to Guyana and outfitted with new identities as American citizens to be returned to this country for sleeper terrorist work for the negative cabal. Some individuals who were booked on this flight, and there are websites detailing that only about (I am going from memory) about 20-25% of the total passengers who died on those flights sought wrongful death compensation, or are even listed at a highly accurate Social Security Index for the deceased (check the web for that info).
Now, the reason that 9/11 worked so well, was that the two human factions actually came together to work on this plan--both Faction 1 and Faction 2. Both factions gained from it, financially, politically, and strategically. You see, as I said in my last major posting--the reptiles as independent agents seem to have lost their strong position of dominance, and I think it is because they have been assimilated by MACHINE-RA as well. Now remember, what I said, MACHINE-RA doesn't care who gets its patronage and commission to regent the Earth as its most favored human agents--may the most rotten, evil sons of bitches win (as a matter of fact, I wonder if the ancient Atlantis-Lemuria conflict was spurred by competition to gain MACHINE-RA's favor....) So, all of the evil Faction players are jostling, competing, and murdering, in order to plant their flag in the 9th circle of hell. Unfortunately, MACHINE-RA is now positioned to cast much of the planet and humanity into this hell, because of technological advances, such as the virus affecting me, genetically modified food, chemtrails, space beam weapons that can cause destructive weather or subliminally impact dreaming minds. All of this works to destroy the individuality and free will of humans and turn us into slave drones of a collectivist hive.
For scores of years, if not centuries, the MACHINE-RA of old was able to keep the population of Egypt mind-controlled through the technology of the energy weapons grounded by the pyramids and the Ark that Moses stole, when he liberated the Israelites. Then, for the last few millenia, MACHINE-RA'S crude weapon of choice has been the mind-control religions, keeping people alienated from their bodies and true spirituality, as well as miring them in guilt and competitive destruction (my God is better than yours...) Now, MACHINE-RA has so many more options. However, the absolutely most important and effective tool possessed by MACHINE-RA continues to be the human agents that agree to serve its agenda, thus selling out their own fellow humans to a life of spiritual slavery, physical ill health, and emotional misery. MACHINE-RA has no lack of willing and potential human partners, although some of them may be good people who have been overwhelmed or duped and deceived by MACHINE-RA'S machinations. This can happen, because human society lives in a deliberately mendacious world of illusion and delusion. Only a few of us can penetrate the lies to even begin to approach the truth, and evil always flourishes when the truth is hidden. To me, that is the true meaning of the word, "occult"--the evil that flourishes when the real truth is hidden.
The occult was well represented on 9/11, and that includes the 113 sleepers. Well, I barely began to research these 113 missing people, when I was hit by the realization that these people were all of the occult. They were clearly plugged into MACHINE-RA, and some of them had parents that were plugged in adherents as well! From video of interviews with the "survivors", I could tell that they were lying--almost in a smirking kind of way ("I know a secret you don't know").
I used the same criteria for judgment that I have always used--looking at photos for evidence of cranial manipulation so that the ears are positioned higher than normal, and of course the tell tale bright, glassy, but fixated and unreceptive eyes. Just for starters, I invite the reader to check out pictures of two of the sleepers--Christine Snyder and Deora Bodley. While you are at it, check out photos of a couple of family members as well: Derrill Bodley and Jack Strong. These people came from generationally occultic (luciferian) families!
http://www.peacefultomorrows.org/img/original/derrill16.jpg
http://www.wbur.org/npr/94461195/a-mother-brings-perspective-to-flight-93-crash-site
If that was not enough, there was further evidence--of the two first sleepers that I began to research, I found in their posted obituaries, repeated referrals to "the light." I have not stated this before, but a philosophical tenet of MACHINE-RA is that of "light". Thus, we get the "Illuminati" and "Lucifer" who is an angel of "light". I haven't brought it up before, because I have been waiting for an opportunity to do a lay, but informed exegesis of the gospel of John (it remains my favorite gospel), which I believe to be canonical and true, but which has been influenced by the cult of MACHINE-RA. I think the gospel of John was probably written by a disciple who once had affiliated with the MACHINE-RA cult, the Essenes, but who had renounced the angel of light to follow the teachings of Jesus. However, I have all these ideas that I doubt I ever will find time or energy to develop fully, so I bring it up now. The point I want to make today is that a multitude of references and examples make it clear that MACHINE-RA is indeed Lucifer, the angel of light, and that is how both he and his followers presents and packages themselves. Thus Deora Bodley is described in her hometown newspaper obituary as "she was such a bright light." It goes on to say that her "favorite book was the "Lathe of Heaven" in which dreams become reality." Now I have read that book, and it is a good book, but the dreamtime that this writer is referring to is the plugged in state. The Honolulu Advertiser waxed that Christine Snyder was "such a presence of light." You can look up other "obituaries" of these sleepers--I guarantee that you will find all of them larded with references to the light.
At this point in my research, I was beginning to feel confident that these sleepers were all identified with Faction 2 and MACHINE-RA. Then I came across a photo and some video which complicated matters and proved to me that reptilians are assimilated to MACHINE-RA as well. Look at this photo of Heather Ross Ogle, a "survivor of Flight 93, and see if you can tell what immediately drew my attention:
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www-med.stanford.edu/shs/update/archives/oct2001/graphics/ross.jpg&imgrefurl=http://911review.org/brad.com/FLIGHT93_91.html&usg=__-KwCreSN_QG2Tt-nJs7QAJ1WEII=&h=312&w=250&sz=12&hl=en&start=1&zoom=1&tbnid=rTfmwdl6QXjS9M:&tbnh=117&tbnw=94&ei=c0DcTZaQGoiSuAOxn4y2Dw&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dheather%2Bross%2Bflight%2B93%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26hs%3DnLh%26sa%3DX%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26channel%3Ds%26biw%3D785%26bih%3D314%26tbm%3Disch%26prmd%3Divnso&itbs=1
It is her hands. Now to the lay reader, it may look like she has unusually large, but not necessarily abnormal hands, but I am not a lay person in this matter. A few months ago, I posted a writing about the abnormal length in the ring fingers of both Maurice Strong and a younger generation Rothschild (David? Nathanael?--he had reddish, curly hair). I had become interested in the matter of finger length, ever since one morning I had woken up and found my own ring finger noticeably diminished--the first of many such mutilations. I know, from pictures of me in my youth, that my longer ring finger was natural. I was conceived an XY male, and a longer ring finger is a sign of high testosterone. However, my mutilated, chopped off finger sparked interest in what caused the fingers of M Strong and the younger Rothschild to abnormally extend, and I researched further. The only other person in whom I had seen that was in a photo of Jack Parson's widow. While I cannot remember her name, I do recall that she was a slim, glam femme--nothing high testosterone about her at all!
Jack Parsons, of course, was the co-founder of Jet Propulsion laboratories (aka Jack Parsons laboratories). I think his true brilliance (and it was an evil brilliance) lies more in the realm of occult discovery than in his scientific abilities, which I think were hugely fueled and augmented by his encounters with and knowledge of the occult. I have a strong hunch that it was his occult experiments that created rifts in the space-time fabric, and led to contact with the Grays. He "died" (I don't think so) in close temporal proximity to the crash of Roswell, and I suspect that he then went to a rogue government site to work further with interdimensional Grays. Actually Jack Parsons and his wife engaged in ritual acts of "Sex Magick". Now 99% of references to occult or "Magick" sex are bullshit, but in the case of Jack Parsons, as well as his mentor, Aleister Crowley, I believe this to be profoundly true,
As this blog's title, and I keep pointing out, spirituality is intimately linked to spirituality. That is why Hans Kolvenbach attempted to astrally rape me to orgasm--to gain control of my mind so that it would "plugin" to MACHINE-RA. When serious disciples of the occult have "MAGICK sex", they are attempting to open themselves up interdimensionally, and on occasion, they are sometimes successful. Because their hearts are not pure, and they are in pursuit of occult knowledge to serve and empower themselves, the interdimensional presence they experience is not of God, but of evil, specifically EVIL REPTILES. Now, Parsons and Crowley may have encountered Grays in their occult practices, but I think that was a case of Gray slaves doing the work of their reptilian masters (always remember that most small Greys have hive minds--they are generational slaves not only of MACHINE-RA, but of the reptiles as well). I think another very important aspect of ritual or "magick" sex is the release of sex hormones.
Now, I think it is well documented that the Reptiles are milking us for our hormonal secretions, unlike MACHINE-RA, which just "'loves' us for our minds". While the reptiles enjoy and manipulate our sexual actions and hormones, MACHINE-RA just uses them to better reprogram our minds. Thus, part of the purpose of the virus is to cause a natural release of excessive amounts of sex hormones (which might be why so many of us suffer from adrenal fatigue. This not only creates more feed for the reptiles, but also the excessive hormonal release draws us into a sexually aroused interdimensional state, whether that of aware sexual activity or IN OUR SLEEP. Christians, most notably Paul in 1 Corinthians 6, talks about the importance of a believer not joining with a prostitute (in ritual or sacred sex) because to do so is to become yoked, or "bound" to the prostitute. Now, temporarily, this is true on a physical level, but more importantly this is true on a spiritual level, because of the close and powerful relationship between sexuality and spirituality. For this reason, ritualized sex has been part of satanic and luciferian worship from time immemorial. For the reptiles use the hormonally and sexually aroused state "to sidebust" into our dimension. If the sexual practitioner is focussed only on his or her pleasure (no love, i.e. sacredness of commitment is involved), or if they are actively trying to invoke the interdimesional entities, they have a very good chance of yoking to a an interdimensionally "sidebusting" reptile. However, because the reptiles are so much more spiritually powerful than us, they not only yoke to us temporarily, but their evil spirit can literally take up abode in the residence of our flesh. Even worse, a temporary yoking of the human flesh to interdimensional reptiles, can lead, in people with the heavy reptilian DNA, to POSSESSION by reptiles.
This is what the reptiles, and their human agents (now Rothschild) are trying to do to me IN MY SLEEP. As mentioned Kolvenbach raped me in my sleep, (after clitorally excising me). I was vaginally dry to the point of pain for something like 2 or 3 days. I have always suffered from vaginal dryness. I enjoyed sex when I was sexually active, but I was a frequent user of artificial lubrication. I'm naturally dry because of my high testosterone. Well, the evil occultists constantly learn, adapt, and experiment on us lab rats. They went into my brain, and switched their implants so that my natural brain wiring went from testosterone dominance to estrogen dominance. They nearly killed me, because my brain needs high levels of testosterone for even the most basic of physical functions, not to mention the higher cognitive and emotional functions. Estrogen dominance also creates a hateful, negative energy and mood state in me, instead of my usual high-energy, cheerful self. It just is not the way God designed me or that I developed. Period. So now, through the use of the viral implants, the evil entities DO release higher levels of testosterone. Of course, it is not enough, but I try to avoid synthetic supplementation, because any testosterone automatically triggers an increased estrogen release, which REALLY FUCKS ME UP. It is the excess estrogen that makes me angry, autistic, semi-psychotic, etc. I know when large amounts of estrogen are being released. Not only is the mood change immediate and recognizable to me, but there is the physical symptomatology as well. I come down with nausea and painful migraines. I get the post-nasal drip into my mouth and throat, and (forgive me, I'm reticent about this matters), I get vaginally wet! I am not sexually aroused. I am just wet. I HATE THAT FEELING. The way I feel about it, is that if there is not a beautiful woman laying next to me, I SURE AS FUCK DON'T WANT TO BE WET, GODDAMNED IT!!!! Now remember, my natural state of vaginal lubrication is minimal. That is what has been normal for me for 50 years, and that is being vaginally dry (except in cases of arousal) feels natural, healthy, and GOOD to me.
Anyway, ever since the goddamned negative Sirians switched my brain to estrogen dominance, I have awakened in the middle of the night with pounding sick migraines and nausea, as well as a wet vagina. While the estrogen dominance has caused me to be more wet than normal, and sometimes when the viral implants fire, I can literally feel the immediate increase of wetness, but what is happening at night is beyond all my experience. I am DRIPPING wet. I hate to be frank about this, but I am an adult and I hope everyone reading this is, and what is happening to me is important in understanding how the reptiles and MACHINE-RA are taking possession of so many good people. Now understand one thing--I may be dripping wet, but I am NOT sexually aroused. The only thing I can focus on when I wake up in that state is the pain and nausea of the migraines. Lucky me! One feminine trait I do possess is coming down with a bad headache when I DON'T WANT SEX! Chuckles aside, what is happening to me (and no doubt, to many others) is scary stuff. MACHINE-RA is partnering with the reptiles to use the viral implants to trigger excessively heavy releases of sex hormones that cause sexual excitation. No doubt this is accompanied in many people by MACHINE-RA technology which implants sexualized imagery as dreams. This has not happened to me, I think because I really in touch with both the images from my own psyche as well as my own sexuality. However, most people are not as sophisticated in their self-awareness as myself, and while they unsuspectingly sleep and dream, the reptiles are sidebusting in from another dimension into their unconscious, taking up partial or complete possession of the person. Before I move on to what I learned from Heather Ross's hands, let me say that while I was writing this segment, the estrogen download was just pouring--to the point of sticky-ickiness. I do believe the aliens/human sycophants were trying to get me sexually aroused while I was thinking and speaking on it. Two problems with that, you perverts. First of all, despite your prejudices regarding lesbians, I am actually very comfortable with and conservative about my own feelings regarding sex. Secondly, you should know that the release of estrogen, no matter how excessive has no sexually arousing impact on me whatsoever. As a matter of fact, for me, estrogen is the ultimate anti-aphrodisiac. You will not accept the truth on which I keep insisting, "I am a man in a woman's body." You cannot rewire a brain that is nearly 50 years old. It is testosterone release that accompanies sexual arousal in me, and I could go into it further, but I have done enough confessing about my sex responses today. However, the reptiles and their human minions won't accept that fact, but neither can they change it. So, thank God, I do have some protection from this dream state rape. I remember dreaming of being raped for years now, and in an early dream from about seven years ago, habited priests were trying to determine how to bring me to orgasm, by using various control moves on me. In my dream, I told, them, "why don't you just ask me?" You don't ask me in my dream, but I will tell you the answer: I respond to love and lovers--something that you rapists will never understand, so there is no point in going into detail.
So now that you know the background that I bring to my analysis, let me return to the relevance of abnormally large hands and fingers. While doing my research on this phenomena which I had noticed in very high ranking reptilian occultists, I learned that very high testosterone causes lengthy ring fingers, while very high estrogen causes lengthy pointer fingers. Again, the hands/fingers I noticed were abnormally large, and that is what caught my eye in the Heather Ross picture. I noticed that not only were her hands abnormally large, but that her ring finger was longer than her pointer finger, which is unusual in a woman, and given the occult ties that I had already uncovered in some of the passengers she almost accompanied, I decided to dig a little deeper. The following is a link from a documentary from History.com, and is chock full of the most presence and intimations of evil that I have ever seen in a 5 minute, seemingly innocuous clip:
http://www.history.com/videos/heather-ross-ogle#heather-ross-ogle
I am getting tired, so I am going to have to continue this later, but look for the flashes of light, the facial changes present in Dr. Ogle, the images of her with Cynthia, and her hands, which she mostly keeps covered with shirt sleeves and gloves. I think I will continue with Heather and the sleepers later...
Watch for the flashes
First of all, let me say that all of America (and indeed, the world), dodged another huge bullet on Sunday, when the Patriot Leadership Team, under the inspiration, actions, and authority of Hillary Clinton, were once again, able to penetrate and arrest the "sleeper cell" of the 113 missing Americans from the 9/11 flights. These 113 sleepers were the hidden fifth column of MACHINE-RA's shock troops, looking to spread chaos and a devastating magnitude of death by a bioweapon of terror. The fact that they failed can be verified not only by my own intuitions and readings of the past few days, but by the most recent post from Salusa (the ringleader of the negative Sirian alien faction), in which he says that the mass world-wide apocalyptic death that he had been prophesying, had been averted (yeh right, no thanks to you), and would not take place. For a brief period, I was joyful, and set a beautiful rainbow as my desktop background, in hopes that the worst was over. It is not, as indicated by the incredible pain and estrogen blasts that I am experiencing, as well as Obama's revitalized grin. What has happened has been the decrease of Faction 2, only to swing power back to Faction 1--the Rothschilds.
Before I attempt to explain how this sleeper cell was exposed, let me first begin by explaining who these sleepers were. You may recall from my previous posts that I was musing on what had happened to the reptiles, in the seeming power ascendancy by MACHINE-RA. I wondered if these reptiles had been assimilated by MACINE-RA. Well, the short answer is that, yes the reptiles are still around, fomenting suffering and evil on this planet, and yes, they have been assimilated by MACHINE-RA. I know this, because I have identified at least two CLEAR representatives of these MACHINE-RA-assimilated reptiles. As a matter of fact, when I captured a screen shot of them together in a video, the first thought that came to mind was "''V' (as in the TV show) reptiles". I now believe that the alien ships on their way to Earth, hidden behind comet Elennin are home to these "V reptiles".
Now, I am not in good health today, and I am on some psychotropic drug, so despite the fact that my mind is moving to make sense of meandering mental images and ideas, I want to stay tightly focussed in this post. Let me just say that there are various alien factions, various reptile factions (and a mighty clash between the two biggies of reptiles is slowly unfolding), and various human sycophant factions involved. To muddy the waters of understanding even further, there are multiple human factions associated with these various and sundry alien factions. However the two biggies of the human factions are best postulated ed as Faction 1, which is traditionally identified as the "old school reptilians" the Draco/Orion reptiles or Annunaki, traditional European royalty (non-Merovingian), and of course, the preening head of this faction, the Rothschild family. Faction 2 is identified with the occult worship of MACHINE-RA, Knights Templars, the Sirian aliens and Merovingian royalty/leading occult politicians pushing for a dominant united NWO Europe. To make matters more complicated, there is continous fluid and dynamic shifting among these various factions.
From an alien perspective, I consider it to be a jousting in a hierarchy of demonic hell. I use Dante's imagery of 9 circles of hell, with the rudy poo demons of hell being given access to the relatively weak spirits of the 1st circle, while the real titans of the demons (negative aliens) all look to plant their flag in the 9th circle of hell, where the really powerful spirits are. I am a 9th circle spirit. That is why I suffer so much--ALL factions of the demonic (negative aliens) want me, to possess me and drain me of my energy to wax their own 3D and 4D presence and power. Now, at this point, I am not possessed. Despite the presence of a very powerful evil spirit in me (from Draco or Orion, I think), and years of infection by both reptilian shape-shifting and MACHINE-RA virus (MACHINE-RA, while not a sentient evil being, enjoys sampling the mind of the powerful spirits), I have managed to compartmentalize these evil spirit. Still, it can be called forth in nightly astral abductions, and probably is what is responsible for the suffering I endure--for the most powerfully evil beings on Earth, and in alien interdimensionality want to claim, and open up that evil spirit within me last night. That is why I was screaming in agony last night. The human factions of evil are desperately trying to push the virus so that I shape shift, or become possessed by the evil spirit, and by doing so, they created excruciating and unbearable pain in my head from the implants. The Knights Templars and negative Sirians DID successfully claim me a while back, but now I think the Rothschilds have joustled for primary dibs on me. In the final result, it doesn't matter, not only because subjectively speaking, my suffering is the same--no matter which faction triggers it, but also because should I become completely POSSESSED by this powerful evil spirit, it won't matter to me which flag flutters. I will be in the 9th circle of hell, and the 9th circle of hell is the most horrifying place in all of reality in which to find oneself, no matter which flag flies. As a side note, let me say that I don't think I belong to the objective, demonic hell right now, because according to my current philosophical understanding, (which could change drastically with the constant revolutions of knowledge that I experience), my free will, which still is operative in my conscious life, clings to God, faith and the holy. What transpires in the conscious life and springs from the choices of free will are the most important elements in determining one's true spiritual state and place. However I am indeed, in an existential or figurative hell, because I cannot break free of the evil spirit, that like Hades with Persephone, abducts me to the nethermost regions at night, and which seriously and destructively impacts the circumstances of my conscious life as well.
Now, while I do not want to get into an analysis of the various evil alien factions, I have termed the 113 sleepers from 9/11 as "V reptiles." By this, I mean that I recognize the human forms to be POSSESSED BY evil reptilian spirits, and that furthermore, they are highly predatory and malignant towards the human race. Now, because the sleeper threat already has been neutralized, I just want to quickly sketch my understanding and impressions of them. Their experience does have a relevance to me and others.
First of all, the 113 sleepers were identified by the bloggers Abeldanger.com, which is a highly intelligent and analytical team of two, whose ideas and research have furthered my understanding on several issues, most notably 9/11. In the blog post that I linked previously, they explained how 113 Americans--from the various flights of 9/11--were secretly renditioned to Guyana to fit them out with brand new American identities, after which they could return to work as sleepers for the destruction of the US, and indeed the world. You see, the four planes that were "destroyed" on 9/11 actually were not. I have always read various Internet postings about this, but could never understand them. Now it is more clear. There were all kinds of idiosyncrasies about the flights and physical planes, because 2 of the 4 flights never even crashed. It was a missile that destroyed the Pentagon, and the PA downed aircraft was a sacrificial dummy--probably a derelict craft that the airline decided to wreck. Throughout the years I have read reports from the Internet, of witnesses recognizing the so-called Flight 93 aircraft in hidden hangers--they were able to identify the craft by the unique tail number. I refer the reader to the abeldanger post and other sites and posts regarding flight inconsistencies, but basically, the planes (quite possibly all four of them) were hijacked before the Muslim terrorists wielded their boxcutters. Likely, they landed, and some unfortunate passengers met their death at the hands of rogue black ops forces and bullets. The planes that successfully flew into the WTC were guided by the rogue software of Faction 2/Knights Templar/al-Qaida that I have mentioned before. The reason the plans would have been hijacked before completing their mission was to remove the high value 113 sleepers, who were then renditioned to Guyana and outfitted with new identities as American citizens to be returned to this country for sleeper terrorist work for the negative cabal. Some individuals who were booked on this flight, and there are websites detailing that only about (I am going from memory) about 20-25% of the total passengers who died on those flights sought wrongful death compensation, or are even listed at a highly accurate Social Security Index for the deceased (check the web for that info).
Now, the reason that 9/11 worked so well, was that the two human factions actually came together to work on this plan--both Faction 1 and Faction 2. Both factions gained from it, financially, politically, and strategically. You see, as I said in my last major posting--the reptiles as independent agents seem to have lost their strong position of dominance, and I think it is because they have been assimilated by MACHINE-RA as well. Now remember, what I said, MACHINE-RA doesn't care who gets its patronage and commission to regent the Earth as its most favored human agents--may the most rotten, evil sons of bitches win (as a matter of fact, I wonder if the ancient Atlantis-Lemuria conflict was spurred by competition to gain MACHINE-RA's favor....) So, all of the evil Faction players are jostling, competing, and murdering, in order to plant their flag in the 9th circle of hell. Unfortunately, MACHINE-RA is now positioned to cast much of the planet and humanity into this hell, because of technological advances, such as the virus affecting me, genetically modified food, chemtrails, space beam weapons that can cause destructive weather or subliminally impact dreaming minds. All of this works to destroy the individuality and free will of humans and turn us into slave drones of a collectivist hive.
For scores of years, if not centuries, the MACHINE-RA of old was able to keep the population of Egypt mind-controlled through the technology of the energy weapons grounded by the pyramids and the Ark that Moses stole, when he liberated the Israelites. Then, for the last few millenia, MACHINE-RA'S crude weapon of choice has been the mind-control religions, keeping people alienated from their bodies and true spirituality, as well as miring them in guilt and competitive destruction (my God is better than yours...) Now, MACHINE-RA has so many more options. However, the absolutely most important and effective tool possessed by MACHINE-RA continues to be the human agents that agree to serve its agenda, thus selling out their own fellow humans to a life of spiritual slavery, physical ill health, and emotional misery. MACHINE-RA has no lack of willing and potential human partners, although some of them may be good people who have been overwhelmed or duped and deceived by MACHINE-RA'S machinations. This can happen, because human society lives in a deliberately mendacious world of illusion and delusion. Only a few of us can penetrate the lies to even begin to approach the truth, and evil always flourishes when the truth is hidden. To me, that is the true meaning of the word, "occult"--the evil that flourishes when the real truth is hidden.
The occult was well represented on 9/11, and that includes the 113 sleepers. Well, I barely began to research these 113 missing people, when I was hit by the realization that these people were all of the occult. They were clearly plugged into MACHINE-RA, and some of them had parents that were plugged in adherents as well! From video of interviews with the "survivors", I could tell that they were lying--almost in a smirking kind of way ("I know a secret you don't know").
I used the same criteria for judgment that I have always used--looking at photos for evidence of cranial manipulation so that the ears are positioned higher than normal, and of course the tell tale bright, glassy, but fixated and unreceptive eyes. Just for starters, I invite the reader to check out pictures of two of the sleepers--Christine Snyder and Deora Bodley. While you are at it, check out photos of a couple of family members as well: Derrill Bodley and Jack Strong. These people came from generationally occultic (luciferian) families!
http://www.peacefultomorrows.org/img/original/derrill16.jpg
http://www.wbur.org/npr/94461195/a-mother-brings-perspective-to-flight-93-crash-site
If that was not enough, there was further evidence--of the two first sleepers that I began to research, I found in their posted obituaries, repeated referrals to "the light." I have not stated this before, but a philosophical tenet of MACHINE-RA is that of "light". Thus, we get the "Illuminati" and "Lucifer" who is an angel of "light". I haven't brought it up before, because I have been waiting for an opportunity to do a lay, but informed exegesis of the gospel of John (it remains my favorite gospel), which I believe to be canonical and true, but which has been influenced by the cult of MACHINE-RA. I think the gospel of John was probably written by a disciple who once had affiliated with the MACHINE-RA cult, the Essenes, but who had renounced the angel of light to follow the teachings of Jesus. However, I have all these ideas that I doubt I ever will find time or energy to develop fully, so I bring it up now. The point I want to make today is that a multitude of references and examples make it clear that MACHINE-RA is indeed Lucifer, the angel of light, and that is how both he and his followers presents and packages themselves. Thus Deora Bodley is described in her hometown newspaper obituary as "she was such a bright light." It goes on to say that her "favorite book was the "Lathe of Heaven" in which dreams become reality." Now I have read that book, and it is a good book, but the dreamtime that this writer is referring to is the plugged in state. The Honolulu Advertiser waxed that Christine Snyder was "such a presence of light." You can look up other "obituaries" of these sleepers--I guarantee that you will find all of them larded with references to the light.
At this point in my research, I was beginning to feel confident that these sleepers were all identified with Faction 2 and MACHINE-RA. Then I came across a photo and some video which complicated matters and proved to me that reptilians are assimilated to MACHINE-RA as well. Look at this photo of Heather Ross Ogle, a "survivor of Flight 93, and see if you can tell what immediately drew my attention:
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www-med.stanford.edu/shs/update/archives/oct2001/graphics/ross.jpg&imgrefurl=http://911review.org/brad.com/FLIGHT93_91.html&usg=__-KwCreSN_QG2Tt-nJs7QAJ1WEII=&h=312&w=250&sz=12&hl=en&start=1&zoom=1&tbnid=rTfmwdl6QXjS9M:&tbnh=117&tbnw=94&ei=c0DcTZaQGoiSuAOxn4y2Dw&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dheather%2Bross%2Bflight%2B93%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26hs%3DnLh%26sa%3DX%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26channel%3Ds%26biw%3D785%26bih%3D314%26tbm%3Disch%26prmd%3Divnso&itbs=1
It is her hands. Now to the lay reader, it may look like she has unusually large, but not necessarily abnormal hands, but I am not a lay person in this matter. A few months ago, I posted a writing about the abnormal length in the ring fingers of both Maurice Strong and a younger generation Rothschild (David? Nathanael?--he had reddish, curly hair). I had become interested in the matter of finger length, ever since one morning I had woken up and found my own ring finger noticeably diminished--the first of many such mutilations. I know, from pictures of me in my youth, that my longer ring finger was natural. I was conceived an XY male, and a longer ring finger is a sign of high testosterone. However, my mutilated, chopped off finger sparked interest in what caused the fingers of M Strong and the younger Rothschild to abnormally extend, and I researched further. The only other person in whom I had seen that was in a photo of Jack Parson's widow. While I cannot remember her name, I do recall that she was a slim, glam femme--nothing high testosterone about her at all!
Jack Parsons, of course, was the co-founder of Jet Propulsion laboratories (aka Jack Parsons laboratories). I think his true brilliance (and it was an evil brilliance) lies more in the realm of occult discovery than in his scientific abilities, which I think were hugely fueled and augmented by his encounters with and knowledge of the occult. I have a strong hunch that it was his occult experiments that created rifts in the space-time fabric, and led to contact with the Grays. He "died" (I don't think so) in close temporal proximity to the crash of Roswell, and I suspect that he then went to a rogue government site to work further with interdimensional Grays. Actually Jack Parsons and his wife engaged in ritual acts of "Sex Magick". Now 99% of references to occult or "Magick" sex are bullshit, but in the case of Jack Parsons, as well as his mentor, Aleister Crowley, I believe this to be profoundly true,
As this blog's title, and I keep pointing out, spirituality is intimately linked to spirituality. That is why Hans Kolvenbach attempted to astrally rape me to orgasm--to gain control of my mind so that it would "plugin" to MACHINE-RA. When serious disciples of the occult have "MAGICK sex", they are attempting to open themselves up interdimensionally, and on occasion, they are sometimes successful. Because their hearts are not pure, and they are in pursuit of occult knowledge to serve and empower themselves, the interdimensional presence they experience is not of God, but of evil, specifically EVIL REPTILES. Now, Parsons and Crowley may have encountered Grays in their occult practices, but I think that was a case of Gray slaves doing the work of their reptilian masters (always remember that most small Greys have hive minds--they are generational slaves not only of MACHINE-RA, but of the reptiles as well). I think another very important aspect of ritual or "magick" sex is the release of sex hormones.
Now, I think it is well documented that the Reptiles are milking us for our hormonal secretions, unlike MACHINE-RA, which just "'loves' us for our minds". While the reptiles enjoy and manipulate our sexual actions and hormones, MACHINE-RA just uses them to better reprogram our minds. Thus, part of the purpose of the virus is to cause a natural release of excessive amounts of sex hormones (which might be why so many of us suffer from adrenal fatigue. This not only creates more feed for the reptiles, but also the excessive hormonal release draws us into a sexually aroused interdimensional state, whether that of aware sexual activity or IN OUR SLEEP. Christians, most notably Paul in 1 Corinthians 6, talks about the importance of a believer not joining with a prostitute (in ritual or sacred sex) because to do so is to become yoked, or "bound" to the prostitute. Now, temporarily, this is true on a physical level, but more importantly this is true on a spiritual level, because of the close and powerful relationship between sexuality and spirituality. For this reason, ritualized sex has been part of satanic and luciferian worship from time immemorial. For the reptiles use the hormonally and sexually aroused state "to sidebust" into our dimension. If the sexual practitioner is focussed only on his or her pleasure (no love, i.e. sacredness of commitment is involved), or if they are actively trying to invoke the interdimesional entities, they have a very good chance of yoking to a an interdimensionally "sidebusting" reptile. However, because the reptiles are so much more spiritually powerful than us, they not only yoke to us temporarily, but their evil spirit can literally take up abode in the residence of our flesh. Even worse, a temporary yoking of the human flesh to interdimensional reptiles, can lead, in people with the heavy reptilian DNA, to POSSESSION by reptiles.
This is what the reptiles, and their human agents (now Rothschild) are trying to do to me IN MY SLEEP. As mentioned Kolvenbach raped me in my sleep, (after clitorally excising me). I was vaginally dry to the point of pain for something like 2 or 3 days. I have always suffered from vaginal dryness. I enjoyed sex when I was sexually active, but I was a frequent user of artificial lubrication. I'm naturally dry because of my high testosterone. Well, the evil occultists constantly learn, adapt, and experiment on us lab rats. They went into my brain, and switched their implants so that my natural brain wiring went from testosterone dominance to estrogen dominance. They nearly killed me, because my brain needs high levels of testosterone for even the most basic of physical functions, not to mention the higher cognitive and emotional functions. Estrogen dominance also creates a hateful, negative energy and mood state in me, instead of my usual high-energy, cheerful self. It just is not the way God designed me or that I developed. Period. So now, through the use of the viral implants, the evil entities DO release higher levels of testosterone. Of course, it is not enough, but I try to avoid synthetic supplementation, because any testosterone automatically triggers an increased estrogen release, which REALLY FUCKS ME UP. It is the excess estrogen that makes me angry, autistic, semi-psychotic, etc. I know when large amounts of estrogen are being released. Not only is the mood change immediate and recognizable to me, but there is the physical symptomatology as well. I come down with nausea and painful migraines. I get the post-nasal drip into my mouth and throat, and (forgive me, I'm reticent about this matters), I get vaginally wet! I am not sexually aroused. I am just wet. I HATE THAT FEELING. The way I feel about it, is that if there is not a beautiful woman laying next to me, I SURE AS FUCK DON'T WANT TO BE WET, GODDAMNED IT!!!! Now remember, my natural state of vaginal lubrication is minimal. That is what has been normal for me for 50 years, and that is being vaginally dry (except in cases of arousal) feels natural, healthy, and GOOD to me.
Anyway, ever since the goddamned negative Sirians switched my brain to estrogen dominance, I have awakened in the middle of the night with pounding sick migraines and nausea, as well as a wet vagina. While the estrogen dominance has caused me to be more wet than normal, and sometimes when the viral implants fire, I can literally feel the immediate increase of wetness, but what is happening at night is beyond all my experience. I am DRIPPING wet. I hate to be frank about this, but I am an adult and I hope everyone reading this is, and what is happening to me is important in understanding how the reptiles and MACHINE-RA are taking possession of so many good people. Now understand one thing--I may be dripping wet, but I am NOT sexually aroused. The only thing I can focus on when I wake up in that state is the pain and nausea of the migraines. Lucky me! One feminine trait I do possess is coming down with a bad headache when I DON'T WANT SEX! Chuckles aside, what is happening to me (and no doubt, to many others) is scary stuff. MACHINE-RA is partnering with the reptiles to use the viral implants to trigger excessively heavy releases of sex hormones that cause sexual excitation. No doubt this is accompanied in many people by MACHINE-RA technology which implants sexualized imagery as dreams. This has not happened to me, I think because I really in touch with both the images from my own psyche as well as my own sexuality. However, most people are not as sophisticated in their self-awareness as myself, and while they unsuspectingly sleep and dream, the reptiles are sidebusting in from another dimension into their unconscious, taking up partial or complete possession of the person. Before I move on to what I learned from Heather Ross's hands, let me say that while I was writing this segment, the estrogen download was just pouring--to the point of sticky-ickiness. I do believe the aliens/human sycophants were trying to get me sexually aroused while I was thinking and speaking on it. Two problems with that, you perverts. First of all, despite your prejudices regarding lesbians, I am actually very comfortable with and conservative about my own feelings regarding sex. Secondly, you should know that the release of estrogen, no matter how excessive has no sexually arousing impact on me whatsoever. As a matter of fact, for me, estrogen is the ultimate anti-aphrodisiac. You will not accept the truth on which I keep insisting, "I am a man in a woman's body." You cannot rewire a brain that is nearly 50 years old. It is testosterone release that accompanies sexual arousal in me, and I could go into it further, but I have done enough confessing about my sex responses today. However, the reptiles and their human minions won't accept that fact, but neither can they change it. So, thank God, I do have some protection from this dream state rape. I remember dreaming of being raped for years now, and in an early dream from about seven years ago, habited priests were trying to determine how to bring me to orgasm, by using various control moves on me. In my dream, I told, them, "why don't you just ask me?" You don't ask me in my dream, but I will tell you the answer: I respond to love and lovers--something that you rapists will never understand, so there is no point in going into detail.
So now that you know the background that I bring to my analysis, let me return to the relevance of abnormally large hands and fingers. While doing my research on this phenomena which I had noticed in very high ranking reptilian occultists, I learned that very high testosterone causes lengthy ring fingers, while very high estrogen causes lengthy pointer fingers. Again, the hands/fingers I noticed were abnormally large, and that is what caught my eye in the Heather Ross picture. I noticed that not only were her hands abnormally large, but that her ring finger was longer than her pointer finger, which is unusual in a woman, and given the occult ties that I had already uncovered in some of the passengers she almost accompanied, I decided to dig a little deeper. The following is a link from a documentary from History.com, and is chock full of the most presence and intimations of evil that I have ever seen in a 5 minute, seemingly innocuous clip:
http://www.history.com/videos/heather-ross-ogle#heather-ross-ogle
I am getting tired, so I am going to have to continue this later, but look for the flashes of light, the facial changes present in Dr. Ogle, the images of her with Cynthia, and her hands, which she mostly keeps covered with shirt sleeves and gloves. I think I will continue with Heather and the sleepers later...
Watch for the flashes
A fragmented post from yesterday
A fragmented post from yesterday--this post was cut short by the autistic state that I was in yesterday. I had it saved on notepad, and because it contains a couple of good ideas, I decided to go ahead and post it. Today, I will be working on a more extensive posting, NO MATTER HOW BADLY I FEEL. It is my top priority--forget about my messy home, my lost wallet, and my need to make some financial changes. I am in process of being enslaved to the evil aliens whose prime representatives are the evil Rothschild family, and soon I may not be able to function well enough to post at all...so stay tuned.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Too sick to continue with thread from last post
Too sick to continue with thread from last post--in a way it doesn't matter. The remote viewers and an astral abduction got all the important info out of me anyway. I am glad. The 113 sleepers as refered to in the Abeldanger post were about to release major bioweapons. We lucked out--all except for Joplin and me--storms bearing fury right on us. There was no ascension. fucking negative sirians are still here. they abducted me and injected more goddamned bugs in my brain last night. I am developing brzinski eyebrows because of all the swelling behind my eyelids. Hopefully, Joplin was just a bitch fit by Salusa and his Nazi stenchment, led by GHW Bush. As for me, I am feeling fobbed off. Fucking alien voices in my head told me that in past life i was one of them. or at least a forebear was. SO WHAT ASSHOLES? If your philosophy is correct, I have had lots of past lives, and I don't experience anyone else making my life a sheer hell because they want to own me. I don't belong to you. You didn't create me. and if I ever were one of you, I guarantee you, I would never do to someone what you have done to me (unless it was over 100 incarnations ago--stupid youth). I tell you what I do think i have--i think one of your goddamned, discarnate evil spirits has found its way into my body, and is spilling out a lot of deceptive bullshit in my sleep. i think it is karmic, though i think i carry a negative racial karma, rather than a personal one. and i am getting sick and goddamned tired of carrying it. if you aliens think i have some positive contribution to make to your future, then free me from this hell. IT DOES NO GOOD TO GIVE ME TESTOSTERONE AS LONG AS IT IS TIED TO ESTROGEN. NONE. the estrogen makes me sick to the pont of barely functioning and I cant stand my own body anymore. Furthermore, you stupid dumbasses, I am a negative energy autistic with estrogen present--i am incapable of relating to anyone in a positive, affrirming, or loving manner. nor am i able to work thru anything , spiritually, mentally or emotionally. i have about a total of two good hours a day. tookl me tow hours to clean a kitchen that should have taken a half hour. have to put writing reading onhold because i have ot find my wallet. need to make a financial decision. need my wallet. i know its not stolen. house is too messy to find anythin. vicodin is hitting. Thank God. pain drivingg me out of mind.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Just a quick note--
Just a quick note--there was no ascension. The negative aliens are still up and aabouout and making my life hell with their viral downloads. Once again, i am suffering from migraines caused by excess estrogen (tomorrow will go into it more), can barely hold head up, mutilated shoulders are in pain, and the implant in my hand throbs with nerve pain, while my left foot looks all purplish bruised. They have some kind of inmplant in my left toe, and my left toe is very tender.
Agony. Nohting for it, but to try to sleep while once more the fucking pricks abduct me and do God knows what....
Agony. Nohting for it, but to try to sleep while once more the fucking pricks abduct me and do God knows what....
I eluded "ascension"--hallelujah!
I eluded "ascension"--hallelujah! Actually, I don't know what became of the the whole Ascension bit. Of course, I am speaking of negative aliens manipulating their human followers, who are aware of their presence and influence on our world, into accompanying them on their trip to a different dimensional space other than our 3D (or is 4D) world. By sifting the sources, my best judgment was that it would occur late at night or early in this morning. I was in dread all day. I wanted to stay awake, because I felt that would give me the best shot of avoiding any kind of astral abduction. Supposedly, ascension is supposed to be a "voluntary" experience , but unfortunately, and to my great loss, I already have experienced the parameters of "voluntary" as set and defined by the negative Sirians.
However, I couldn't stay awake for anything, so finally I went to bed about 8:30 pm, with the familiar, but very heavy viral download knocking me out. I left the living room light on, like a scared little kid needing a night light, because if I were awakened by an attempted physical abduction, I wanted to be able to see what was transpiring. Only once have I experienced an attempted physical abduction (though of course, I have suffered multiple astral abductions in my sleep). It was after I encountered an alien on our 3D plane, the same day I was terminated from my brief stint with the Census Bureau. I had been set for employment there, for the specific purpose of meeting that Aryan alien, and once I had, I was canned. I had a positive reaction to her as a person, though honestly I am not sure what agenda she serves, and at this point, I presume that all alien agendas are hostile, until clear and repeated proof indicates otherwise. Anyway, later in that early morning, I was surprised when all of a sudden, I wake up to my room and desk and books rattling. Unconsciously, I must have known what was happening, because I jumped up and ran to the door, yelling at the top of my lungs in a strange language that even I couldn't translate (there is a spiritual gift of translating "tongues", but I don't have it yet). However, given my characteristic nature, and my anger over having just been unfairly fired from my job, I suspect that I was cursing a blue streak, "Hell no, I won't go!" That is why I left the light on. Had I awakened to the room rattling all around me, I wanted to SEE what was going on.
However, nothing happened. I slept soundly until about 3:30 in the morning, when I woke up with a killer migraine, and an estrogen download taking place. My body often wakes up when that happens, I think, because the body does not like estrogen AT ALL. Not only does it give me sick migraines with nausea, but it leaves me depressed and struggling to function. Worse of all, of course, is the emotional and mental incapacity to be proactive in probing and assertive way. I am NOT primarily a receptive person, unless, of course, I am autistic and/or brain dead. That is why I am having such difficulty engaging the world and people right now. I need to be ACTIVE, to MOVE, to have enough positive energy to come out of myself, and a female hormonal predominance will never allow for that with me. But this is the same old, same old--I have been struggling with this start-stop energy and creative output, now for a while. After being blasted with estrogen, I got a huge boost of testosterone. I know, because I know when my brain is working right, and when it struggles.
Of course, one of the first things I did was get on Rumormillnews and see if I could tell by the posts if some kind of "ascension" had taken place with others. The relevant posts are ambiguous, so the jury remains out on that, but I read a couple of interesting posts that got my brain to thinking anyway. One was an audio clip by "Ra-el" and the other was a post by Abeldanger. Ra-el literally means "the God RA", and in all my posts regarding MACHINE-RA, I probably have not been explicitly clear that these followers of MACHINE-RA, are occult worshippers of a "supreme being", other than the living God. For them, this supreme being is the MACHINE-RA. This is an ancient, ancient religious cult that very likely may have originated in northern Israel and Syria, with the landing of the "fallen angels" (negative Sirian-reptilian hybrids), the Samjazan company. They have infiltrated religions, countries, and individuals for centuries, with some periods being more vulnerable to their manipulations than others. I think they attempted to infiltrate the Jesus Movement, and then later the emerging Christian religion. To some extent (I am not sure, because I don't have the sustained energy to do the research), they succeeded. To this day, there are deeply committed and powerful adherents of MACHINE-RA in high Catholic ranks, most prominently Hans Kolvenbach, and the lufiferian Jesuits.
However, this subterranean occult movement which has persisted through the centuries in such groups as the Knights Templars, has burst from its narrow, family-generational and institutional adherents in a big way since the mid-90's. Every time I turn on the TV, I can recognize the telltale signs of a MACHINE-RA "plugin" (but remember not all visibly evident plugins are true adherents of RA. Physically, I look like a MACHINE-RA plugin, and while I carry the virus that enable MACHINE-RA to download and read images in my mind, those implants were put in me involuntarily, and I am MOST DEFINITELY NOT an adherent of the MACHINE-RA occult). However, it looks like MACHINE-RA is now the big dog on the evil scene, and even people that one might consider reptilian, such as George HW Bush, now are connected to the MACHINE-RA cult, as evidenced by the recent sacrifice of little Camden (so reptilian to sacrifice children, and so luciferian to plug them into MACHINE-RA, as preparation for the sacrifice). I can't help but wonder, "what happened to the once mighty reptiles?". Were they assimilated by MACHINE-RA as well? I honestly do not know, but there seems to be a visible reduction in their power. In any case, it doesn't matter because the individuals and families who once served evil by authority and commission of the reptiles, are now hopping onto the bandwagon of MACHINE-RA.
Anyway, Ra-el is a cult founder who worships and propagates the agenda of the MACHINE-RA. Listening to his audio post, I found it interesting that he, channeling RA, claimed credit for "ships on the way" (see Sorcha Faal posts--the ships are hiding behind comets), ongoing earthquakes, and a threat to darken the sun (or for that matter, shoot out catastrophic solar flares). Now, keep in mind that MACHINE-RA has a hoary tradition of being known as RA, the sun god--most memorably in Egypt. All of the threats as relayed by Ra-el are credible and clearly corroborated by other evidence. Therefore, it is fair to say that the MACHINE-RA is a dangerous enemy of humanity and our country (Ra-el inveighs against the "evil" US, thundering that there will be 'judgment').
This is why I paid attention to this post by Abeldanger:
http://www.rumormillnews.com/cgi-bin/forum.cgi?read=205061
...Running down the scoop on this post has got me tuckered out. I'm going to think on it, and finish the post another time :)
However, I couldn't stay awake for anything, so finally I went to bed about 8:30 pm, with the familiar, but very heavy viral download knocking me out. I left the living room light on, like a scared little kid needing a night light, because if I were awakened by an attempted physical abduction, I wanted to be able to see what was transpiring. Only once have I experienced an attempted physical abduction (though of course, I have suffered multiple astral abductions in my sleep). It was after I encountered an alien on our 3D plane, the same day I was terminated from my brief stint with the Census Bureau. I had been set for employment there, for the specific purpose of meeting that Aryan alien, and once I had, I was canned. I had a positive reaction to her as a person, though honestly I am not sure what agenda she serves, and at this point, I presume that all alien agendas are hostile, until clear and repeated proof indicates otherwise. Anyway, later in that early morning, I was surprised when all of a sudden, I wake up to my room and desk and books rattling. Unconsciously, I must have known what was happening, because I jumped up and ran to the door, yelling at the top of my lungs in a strange language that even I couldn't translate (there is a spiritual gift of translating "tongues", but I don't have it yet). However, given my characteristic nature, and my anger over having just been unfairly fired from my job, I suspect that I was cursing a blue streak, "Hell no, I won't go!" That is why I left the light on. Had I awakened to the room rattling all around me, I wanted to SEE what was going on.
However, nothing happened. I slept soundly until about 3:30 in the morning, when I woke up with a killer migraine, and an estrogen download taking place. My body often wakes up when that happens, I think, because the body does not like estrogen AT ALL. Not only does it give me sick migraines with nausea, but it leaves me depressed and struggling to function. Worse of all, of course, is the emotional and mental incapacity to be proactive in probing and assertive way. I am NOT primarily a receptive person, unless, of course, I am autistic and/or brain dead. That is why I am having such difficulty engaging the world and people right now. I need to be ACTIVE, to MOVE, to have enough positive energy to come out of myself, and a female hormonal predominance will never allow for that with me. But this is the same old, same old--I have been struggling with this start-stop energy and creative output, now for a while. After being blasted with estrogen, I got a huge boost of testosterone. I know, because I know when my brain is working right, and when it struggles.
Of course, one of the first things I did was get on Rumormillnews and see if I could tell by the posts if some kind of "ascension" had taken place with others. The relevant posts are ambiguous, so the jury remains out on that, but I read a couple of interesting posts that got my brain to thinking anyway. One was an audio clip by "Ra-el" and the other was a post by Abeldanger. Ra-el literally means "the God RA", and in all my posts regarding MACHINE-RA, I probably have not been explicitly clear that these followers of MACHINE-RA, are occult worshippers of a "supreme being", other than the living God. For them, this supreme being is the MACHINE-RA. This is an ancient, ancient religious cult that very likely may have originated in northern Israel and Syria, with the landing of the "fallen angels" (negative Sirian-reptilian hybrids), the Samjazan company. They have infiltrated religions, countries, and individuals for centuries, with some periods being more vulnerable to their manipulations than others. I think they attempted to infiltrate the Jesus Movement, and then later the emerging Christian religion. To some extent (I am not sure, because I don't have the sustained energy to do the research), they succeeded. To this day, there are deeply committed and powerful adherents of MACHINE-RA in high Catholic ranks, most prominently Hans Kolvenbach, and the lufiferian Jesuits.
However, this subterranean occult movement which has persisted through the centuries in such groups as the Knights Templars, has burst from its narrow, family-generational and institutional adherents in a big way since the mid-90's. Every time I turn on the TV, I can recognize the telltale signs of a MACHINE-RA "plugin" (but remember not all visibly evident plugins are true adherents of RA. Physically, I look like a MACHINE-RA plugin, and while I carry the virus that enable MACHINE-RA to download and read images in my mind, those implants were put in me involuntarily, and I am MOST DEFINITELY NOT an adherent of the MACHINE-RA occult). However, it looks like MACHINE-RA is now the big dog on the evil scene, and even people that one might consider reptilian, such as George HW Bush, now are connected to the MACHINE-RA cult, as evidenced by the recent sacrifice of little Camden (so reptilian to sacrifice children, and so luciferian to plug them into MACHINE-RA, as preparation for the sacrifice). I can't help but wonder, "what happened to the once mighty reptiles?". Were they assimilated by MACHINE-RA as well? I honestly do not know, but there seems to be a visible reduction in their power. In any case, it doesn't matter because the individuals and families who once served evil by authority and commission of the reptiles, are now hopping onto the bandwagon of MACHINE-RA.
Anyway, Ra-el is a cult founder who worships and propagates the agenda of the MACHINE-RA. Listening to his audio post, I found it interesting that he, channeling RA, claimed credit for "ships on the way" (see Sorcha Faal posts--the ships are hiding behind comets), ongoing earthquakes, and a threat to darken the sun (or for that matter, shoot out catastrophic solar flares). Now, keep in mind that MACHINE-RA has a hoary tradition of being known as RA, the sun god--most memorably in Egypt. All of the threats as relayed by Ra-el are credible and clearly corroborated by other evidence. Therefore, it is fair to say that the MACHINE-RA is a dangerous enemy of humanity and our country (Ra-el inveighs against the "evil" US, thundering that there will be 'judgment').
This is why I paid attention to this post by Abeldanger:
http://www.rumormillnews.com/cgi-bin/forum.cgi?read=205061
...Running down the scoop on this post has got me tuckered out. I'm going to think on it, and finish the post another time :)
Friday, May 20, 2011
Sick all day
Sick all day--the "fallen" Sirian aliens have wired up my hormonal system so that testosterone output is matched by estrogen output. I suppose that is their way of making sure that their idealized feminine avatar doesn't become masculinized, as they seem to have finally accepted that my brain and body needs high levels of testosterone just to function. I only say that because I have been high testosterone all day. Unfortunately, I have also been high estrogen all day, as well, and the depression, crying jags, desire for sugar and hunger have made me miserable all day. But what is really making me SICK is the excessive mucous drainage that the excess estrogen causes. Constant snot in my mouth and throat, draining down to my lungs until now, my lungs hurt. I am afraid that I am going to get very sick soon.
Very soon (maybe even as soon as tomorrow) the goddamned negative Sirians who have totally destroyed my life and health, will be moving on to satanically greener pastures. Apparently, they will be taking a lot of deluded and brainwashed spiritual types with them. I won't be going. I intend to fight it with every bit of my weakened and sick body and brain that can. I would never want to accompany, live with, or serve the demons with 12 strand DNA that have caused the suffering and misery that not only has stolen years from my life, but which I will have to carry forever, for I know that I never will get my health and joy back. It makes me cry just to think of having to live in this hateful body, and messsed up, female-dominated hormonal system for another ten years, but it beats the alternative---living in a reality controlled by evil aliens.
Sadly, for me, I have gotten a really bad vibe over the last few days. I think that once again, I have been the supreme bargaining chip. I don't know what the change will cost me, but I doubt that I will get my freedom, my body (if any "good" alien technology could do it), or my life back. I suspect that the goddamned religionists are all lined up, forks in hand, ready to fast on the psychic and spiritual scraps of my soul/spirit that are left after the ravaging of the negative Sirians. Maybe I am just depressed because of too much estrogen. Maybe I have been unhappy and unfree for so long, I cannot even imagine being free.
I tell myself that my situation could be worse and think of Julianne McCredy, the mother who is jailed for murdering her 5 year old son, but which I more and more think was slated to be sacrificed at the Bush compound. I checked out location of the boy's found corpse--sure enough, just a few miles from Kennebunkport. Before a child is sacrificed, they often give him/her a strong, soporific seative, so the child is stupified when the horrible culmination takes place. I think the mother may have been told to give the boy the sedative, and either she took him away so that he could not be sacrificed, or he died prematurely (given the fact that his childhood brain was clearly atered by cranial manipulation and psychotropic drugs--check out his eyes--poor Camden probably did not respond to the sedative as expected....). I am just speculating of course, but one thing I do know--an innocent life has been murdered before he even had a chance to live, and his mother will have to live with the nightmarish memory and guilt of her son's suffering and death for the rest of her life. It will be small comfort to know that she was not the real murderer, and that she probably did everything she could to save the boy, because people of conscience and heart always blame themselves for what they could have done differently.
I have spent a long time wondering what I have done to suffer the hell that is my fate. Clearly, I have a powerful evil spirit in me that entered right after my conversion experience. Like attracts like--I have a powerful spirit so that I have both a powerful evil spirit and a powerful Holy spirit. However the Holy Spirit has had to retreat to a hiding place deep in the soul ever since the alien implants were put in me during my eye surgery. The implants literally make an overt prayer and spiritual life impossible. Still, I have kept the faith, but somehow I doubt that the viral implants will be removed (another bargaining chip deal?). Will I be able to work again? Have a lover? Hell, will I even be able to get a doctor or nutrition store to work with me to get the proper testosterone balance (T dominates--estrogen inferior, progesterone--practically nil) that I know my body needs to work efficiently. Even as I write this, I am aware that I do not have the level of energetic joy that my hermaphroditic self had. (I also am aware that my arms are going numb, as they always do, when I type--just another hardship that the goddamned mutilations left me with). Only thing I can think on to stop the tears is of Julianne and Cameron, and sorrow for all the good, deluded people who will be travelling with the negative Sirians to their "educational cubicles" where they will live a life of psychic and spiritual slavery.
I have done everything I can to dispel the lies and deception. I have fought as best I could for the truth, but ultimately, unlike the negative Sirians, I respect each individual's free will. They have manipulated, and lied, using advanced technology to steal into people's minds while they sleep, and in my case, have systematically destroyed my body against my free will, justifying it on grounds of communing with an evil spirit in my sleep. No, they have no respect for free will; to them, we are inferior beings to be used and consumed. I could tell you that respect for free will is an essential indication of a holy spiritual being, instead of an evil one, but I have been preaching this for years now, and one more night of the same old same old, isn't going to change anyone's mind.
I do want everyone to know that I take the same actions again. I am sorry that I live such a hateful, miserable life, but it is better that I suffer, than that countless of little Camerons and their mothers suffer. As for me, it is time to try to address my own personal suffering. I am suffering from serious nausea and migraine from the damned excessive female hormones. I've got pills--I intend to take them.
Very soon (maybe even as soon as tomorrow) the goddamned negative Sirians who have totally destroyed my life and health, will be moving on to satanically greener pastures. Apparently, they will be taking a lot of deluded and brainwashed spiritual types with them. I won't be going. I intend to fight it with every bit of my weakened and sick body and brain that can. I would never want to accompany, live with, or serve the demons with 12 strand DNA that have caused the suffering and misery that not only has stolen years from my life, but which I will have to carry forever, for I know that I never will get my health and joy back. It makes me cry just to think of having to live in this hateful body, and messsed up, female-dominated hormonal system for another ten years, but it beats the alternative---living in a reality controlled by evil aliens.
Sadly, for me, I have gotten a really bad vibe over the last few days. I think that once again, I have been the supreme bargaining chip. I don't know what the change will cost me, but I doubt that I will get my freedom, my body (if any "good" alien technology could do it), or my life back. I suspect that the goddamned religionists are all lined up, forks in hand, ready to fast on the psychic and spiritual scraps of my soul/spirit that are left after the ravaging of the negative Sirians. Maybe I am just depressed because of too much estrogen. Maybe I have been unhappy and unfree for so long, I cannot even imagine being free.
I tell myself that my situation could be worse and think of Julianne McCredy, the mother who is jailed for murdering her 5 year old son, but which I more and more think was slated to be sacrificed at the Bush compound. I checked out location of the boy's found corpse--sure enough, just a few miles from Kennebunkport. Before a child is sacrificed, they often give him/her a strong, soporific seative, so the child is stupified when the horrible culmination takes place. I think the mother may have been told to give the boy the sedative, and either she took him away so that he could not be sacrificed, or he died prematurely (given the fact that his childhood brain was clearly atered by cranial manipulation and psychotropic drugs--check out his eyes--poor Camden probably did not respond to the sedative as expected....). I am just speculating of course, but one thing I do know--an innocent life has been murdered before he even had a chance to live, and his mother will have to live with the nightmarish memory and guilt of her son's suffering and death for the rest of her life. It will be small comfort to know that she was not the real murderer, and that she probably did everything she could to save the boy, because people of conscience and heart always blame themselves for what they could have done differently.
I have spent a long time wondering what I have done to suffer the hell that is my fate. Clearly, I have a powerful evil spirit in me that entered right after my conversion experience. Like attracts like--I have a powerful spirit so that I have both a powerful evil spirit and a powerful Holy spirit. However the Holy Spirit has had to retreat to a hiding place deep in the soul ever since the alien implants were put in me during my eye surgery. The implants literally make an overt prayer and spiritual life impossible. Still, I have kept the faith, but somehow I doubt that the viral implants will be removed (another bargaining chip deal?). Will I be able to work again? Have a lover? Hell, will I even be able to get a doctor or nutrition store to work with me to get the proper testosterone balance (T dominates--estrogen inferior, progesterone--practically nil) that I know my body needs to work efficiently. Even as I write this, I am aware that I do not have the level of energetic joy that my hermaphroditic self had. (I also am aware that my arms are going numb, as they always do, when I type--just another hardship that the goddamned mutilations left me with). Only thing I can think on to stop the tears is of Julianne and Cameron, and sorrow for all the good, deluded people who will be travelling with the negative Sirians to their "educational cubicles" where they will live a life of psychic and spiritual slavery.
I have done everything I can to dispel the lies and deception. I have fought as best I could for the truth, but ultimately, unlike the negative Sirians, I respect each individual's free will. They have manipulated, and lied, using advanced technology to steal into people's minds while they sleep, and in my case, have systematically destroyed my body against my free will, justifying it on grounds of communing with an evil spirit in my sleep. No, they have no respect for free will; to them, we are inferior beings to be used and consumed. I could tell you that respect for free will is an essential indication of a holy spiritual being, instead of an evil one, but I have been preaching this for years now, and one more night of the same old same old, isn't going to change anyone's mind.
I do want everyone to know that I take the same actions again. I am sorry that I live such a hateful, miserable life, but it is better that I suffer, than that countless of little Camerons and their mothers suffer. As for me, it is time to try to address my own personal suffering. I am suffering from serious nausea and migraine from the damned excessive female hormones. I've got pills--I intend to take them.
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