After a one day respite, I woke up drugged again, forcing myself to wake and get up. I am thinking that there is a job I can successfully obtain, but it is a morning job, and my big question is, how am I going to be able to wake up at five in the morning for five days a week? I just have to plug ahead any way that I can. I am in a lot of pain from the implant in my lower back, but I have to keep walking. I am going to return my books to the library today. I was so excited when I was on the thyroid medication because I could read again, but I absolutely cannot read when I have speed in my system--the words on the page are just are meaningless. I am 196 pounds, and am fatter than ever. I can't help it. I constantly crave protein. I want London broil steaks and double cheeseburgers. I try to walk at least a mile every day to keep my muscles in decent shape, but the quads are locked, and my knees are tender because they are tweaking out because I can't walk properly. I don't know how much longer I can maintain. Hang in there, Tita
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