Five fiornal in 2 1/2days

Five fiornal in 2 1/2days as I struggle with sick, sick migraines and nausea.  Even when I not laying in bed in agony with a towel wrapped around my head, wishing to God I were dead, I am sick with the queasiness and inability to tolerate any kind of sensory stimulation (typing with my eyes shut again).  One of my symptoms that I am  vulnerable to a migraine is that I can't stand flashing lights--even turn signal blinkers drive me crazy.  Last night, that symptom reached a new level, as for the first time in my life, I couldn't block out the signal.  I shut my eyes and my hand over the eye closest to the signal, but even still, in my brain, I could see the light flashing on and off., on and off.  I thought I was going to go out of my mind.    What does it matter.  My body is destroyed now, with all the psychotropic drugging and implants.  I can't even walk to the bathroom like a normal person.  There is no doubt that the SLI, Opus Dei, and the NSA have enslaved me forever, taking all my ability for joy, for a spiritual life, for Christ sake's, just being human.  All I can do is long for death.  I cannot stand to be in this crippled, broken down body anymore.