Depressed

Well, it didn't take long for my persecutors to ruin my earlier Merry Christmas mood, joyful as I was at leaving ML's house. In retrospect, it is clear what a pathetically depressed woman she is, and while I disagree with her decision to medicate her depression, rather than deal with it through self-knowledge, spirituality, and therapy, it still is sad to just see her sit zoned out to the TV. Even the young man who helped me move, asked, "Is that all she does--sit there." Yes, Ira, except to get up for cookies or ice cream, she just sits there in her pjs and bathrobe, zoned out. That is what my persecutors wish for me, too. It is so much easier to control and manipulate people who are zoned out Well, I am zoned out--it is Monday morning, and I am a basket case, high, and sick. Obviously it is not going to be as easy to shake my persecutors as I thought. It was a waste of money to get this place. They can poison all my food and water, and I can't use the heater. I have to get up the energy to get out of here by the end of the week, but as always with this anti-depressant shit, I can't get up the energy to do anything. I feel too bad to even go to work, but I have no choice so I guess I will go and fake it. What is wrong with these fucking Inquisitors that they can't stand to see somebody happy and healthy and joyful. Just like ML, they want me to drink the poison they drank a long time ago. I couldn't believe how soulless the NSA/FBI agents I saw at Dr. Thall, really were. And then there's the sadism of the celibate monks who initiated this whole thing. I bring that up because I think there is something truly sadistic and/or masochistic about many celibates, especially power-trippers. Speaking of masochists, I am reminded of Escriva, and I wouldn't be surprised if Opus Dei is behind this whole thing. The next month will be hard--I wasn't able to sleep at all last night. These drugs effectively create anxiety when one is about to go into deep sleep (I wonder if they give these drugs to the tortured prisoners at Abu Gharaib --oh Geez, that's right, Bush says we don't torture). Well, I have seen the future and it is a soulless police state where they drug us to stay compliant and believe their lies. And the church men, hell, they sell out the information of who actually might have a soul left to steal. It's very hard to form coherent thought as tired and high as I am. Jesus help me--help me against the evil psychologists, the power-tripping priests, and the soulless Black Ops specialists. Just get me through today, I will be okay tonite.