Monday, October 31, 2011

Took a shower

Took a shower and realized just how severely I had been cut on and mutilated in the last couple of days.. I have been so sick that I literally have no feeling of body-person. I just long for death. However, in the shower, it becaume clear that once again, severe damage done to body. there is nothing left to cut, so what they cut maims me badly. hard to sit up anad hold arms up on desk to type. keep going numb. pain in back and shoulders from where they cut. desperately want another body, any body, or let me die in this one. don't want to be in this body anymore. but cant make the leap of faith to go all the way into another body. i dont think the problem is my lack of faith. i think it is the fact that I am so sick and ill, that i am not able to unify my inner self soo that the unconscious and conscious are one. doesnt help that I am a deeply divided person to begin with--having to be in a female body with a male psyche--it allows the MACHINE to get in there and wreak havoc--especially when i am force fed hormones and drugs.

I know what makes me happy--being active, energetic, and authoratative--even if as now by the authority of my writing. hate being feminine, passive, and nurturing. not my style at all--when i am healthy. Right now, i am so sick and in such pain that anything that comes out of my head is not to be trusted.

I DESPERATELY NEED TO BE IN A SAFE PLACE, to heal, to pray, to re-integrate my psyche, which the MACHINE and its brainwashed minions have spent the last severely years destroying and fragmenting in an attempt to control me. I just dont know how much longer i can live in the hellish existence that i am in, but I dont see any immediate relief in sight--not even 11/11/11.

There was no satanic abduction last night

There was no satanic abduction last night (at least that I can recall), but I woke up so drugged and estrogen heavy that I could barely move on awakening. I had to take 4 T-tabs just to be able to open my eyes (so I could handle the amount of visual stimulation), and read the morning paper. Did a half-baked job--but enough to know that there is no imminent danger. That is a good thing because when I am so estrogen heavy, i am not capable of critical reasoning, and my intuition dims to the point of near extinction. So, maybe this is the way Amon RA would like to keep me, except of course my mental stimulation in this drugged up state is no fun for IT, either.

I can force myself to try to work out some knotty problems--know where I need to go next--I have "ghosts" from the grave, "visiting" me in my sleep, asking for justice. Anytime, I have an obligation weighing on me, it just drags me down. However, i don't thinkk today is the day. Lot i need to do around house still, and when i can barely move, it will take a while. So I am hoping for justanother day or two respite, and hope i feel better, but it will happen. I promise.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

A brief warning

A brief warning to all--I am so sick and drugged up that once again, I think the MACHINE will be able to call out unconscious alter egos--some that may not even belong to me, but have been implanted by RA, which is trying so hard to exercise dominion over my free will and soul. When I am this sick, I find it much harder to resist, so don't be surprised by anything that I utter. It is Halloween weekend, and I am pretty certain that I was ritualistically abused on that day (something MACHINE-RA knows because of my mother), so I expect the next two days to be very rough. I put my faith in God that I come out alright--and believe me, as drugged up as I am, I am going to need it. So I ask prayers from all the Good People during the next couple of days--not the petitionary kind of prayers that just feeds the evil cycle, but just simple, occasional, and brief awareness. I cannot believe how many Amon RA brainwashed devotees there are, so a little bit of unseen psychic support would be great. Protect me from the evil one, and all ITS brainwashed minions, Lord.

Situation deteriorated

Situation deteriorated--no worries about biking home. too sick to bike. too sick to do anything, but forced self to watch some dvds. a lot i need to do but too sick. I think i am on some psychotropic--i have the deep muscle soreness and hysterical laughter that i get sometimes on psych drugs. maybe it is just that the heavy metals cant clear my brain without necessary testosterone. figured out KaBalist yanked my thyroid meds. knew it for sure when i saw my hair falling out over this keyboard. but first it messed up digestion starting a couple of days ago. once ago, i started suffering from incredible hunger and craving for meat, even after i ate. eating makes my whole body feel weird because i need testosterone to digest and cannot. once again, too my belly started swelling like a pregnant womans after eating. i think i have a very tenuous and fragile, autistic gut to begin with, but when denied testosterone, i come done with all the symptoms of leaky gut syndrome.

Of course it doesnt matter. These bastards literally would kill me for the fun of it, if they thought for one minute that i would not be usable merchandise to spread their evil cult. All i ask is that if I die, please make sure my brain is smashed to smithereens. I don't mind suffering, i dont mind dying (at least not excessively so), but the thought of my brain and soul being enslaved to that evil MACHINE for even one day, is more than I can bear.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

From majorly pissed to majorly drugged overnight.

From majorly pissed to majorly drugged overnight. I don't know what drug I am on, but I was so drugged during the night that I had difficulty waking up from bed--at that was after 10:00 am! My face is grotesquely swollen, and I have TMJ and dental issues so bad, that I can only eat on the left side of my mouth. I am going to take a Motrin or Robaxin soon, to see if that helps with the pain. As I write this, I am so sleepy that I can barely keep my eyes open. Same old testosterone deficiency that is making life practically non-functional. I have been barely functional all day though I did manage to finish taking some notes on a book (but am too drugged to dive into the research). I also went for a fairly short bike ride, but could barely make it home--even with the help of four T-tabs. I am going to go watch TV--too sick to do anything else--besides I want to see who won Project Runway before I inadvertently spot a spoiler. Hopefully, it is available on demand--I was too sick to watch TV when it aired but now I am not so much sick as drugged. TV watching is the best way to do something worthwhile when I am in this semi-drugged, low energy state. Besides, one of the contestants is a real fox! :)--and talented too!! Talented, intelligent, beautiful women always make me feel better!

Friday, October 28, 2011

I have a lot of misplaced anger

I have a lot of misplaced anger, even fury, continuing into today. As per my post from yesterday, the anger is caused by excessive estrogen. Yes, I have an incredible amount of testosterone flowing through me, but testosterone, by itself, does not make me angry--it is when the EXCESS ESTROGEN is combined with the testosterone that I become so angry. How can I tell? First off, I literally have trouble thinking through ideas--something which popping testosterone helps. Also, my nose becomes congested, and I get the "slime mouth" and excessive saliva that keeps me spitting every few minutes. Finally, and worst of all, is the excessive vaginal secretions that has me with sticky thighs and dripping wet all day long. I know it is not pleasant to read about it, so imagine how I feel having to experience it all day long.

Then, to really top off my temper, I knew immediately that when I went to speak with my therapist, that she really wasn't there. Even her trustworthy dog was lying there all doped up. You know, I was going to keep that little tidbit to myself, and throw a huge curve ball the next time I saw her, but it is no use. I am not cool and collected enough to play mind games with these master mind gamers. My strength comes from my utter honesty, and I can only be honest.

But I wasn't honest earlier today--instead I played the fucking mind game, too, even though I knew as soon as I walked in, that my therapist had been replaced with a shape shifting alien. In a way, I am not sorry I played the mind game--I was out, digging for intel, and I got more than I would have received had I not played along.

However, the strain of my anger--caused by the excessive sexual hormones, and this stinger in my brain that has the left side of my scalp, crawling with something akin to a methamphetamine blast (and that is what I emotionally feel like I am on, too--speed), could not be contained. I am dealing with such intense informational input, emotions, and experiences, and I only get to talk, vent and bounce back all this intensity, with ONE person every two weeks (this blog helps me vent, but I can't get feedback from it, to help me tiptoe through the minefield I walk in every single day), AND TODAY, I DIDN'T EVEN GET THAT.

So yes, I was steaming pissed, irrationally pissed, majorly pissed, and displaced pissed. To my credit, I was not enraged out of my mind, which is what the aliens are trying to induce. When I am really angry, I become abnormally quiet and silent. As long as I am yelling and cursing, I still am emoting in a healthy, if albeit, very uncomfortable (to my listener) way. However, the emoting did not really work. Normally, I yell and cuss, and I feel better instantly. Today after all my cussing and all my yelling, I still do not feel better. Partly, I know that there is nothing I can do about the violating abuse they dish out every night and day. These Amon RA aliens and devotees flood me with so much estrogen, and the sex hormones, along with the virus, is attempting to do, and is capable of, a rewriting of my genetic code. NO MALE WANTS TO BE TURNED INTO A FEMALE, and all attempts to do so will cause nothing but fury. I know that this constant assault on my genetic coding by this fricking estrogen is what is enraging me, but I can do nothing about it.

On all sides, I am surrounded by these Amon RA types--and my guess is that the shapeshifter who was mind playing me today, is of the Opus Dei/Jesuit variety (Opus Dei is very involved in this KaBal shit--they are involved with the RA KaBalists of the Middle East--from Camp Ashraf to the KaBal Kurds to the KaBal Persians to the KaBalist Syrian Christians). They are liars and deceivers of the most satanic depths, and now that the al-Qaida leader, their hermaphroditic reptilian queen is dead, all their attention is focused on me, and I am alone. Not only did I miss my biweekly heart to heart with my trusted counselor, but I am isolated in my residence as well. For whatever reason (good or ill) I am alone--my Sirian neighbors have disappeared. My bike was tampered with again--I think a locator device was placed on it, so that they can track me at all times, and that was after I locked it up in the basement. Either, they walked down the outside stairs and opened the lock with impunity, or one of their alien ilk was able to "beam down" and "beam back up" directly into the basement (from what I have witnessed, I suspect the latter). They literally turned off my water while I was soaped up in the shower, and they stalk me everywhere I go.

That is okay--the more I encounter them, the more I learn, and my meager psychic skills learned something from them today, which is why I am taking this time to write this post, even though I feel too ADD to do it. I learned that the Amon RA devotees are positively gleeful that I vented my spleen today--that they want and love to see me so angry that I am steaming. No doubt, but that they hope to use the intense emotion to ride into my mind and hijack my brain, with their MACHINE frequency virus. While I understand this intellectually, it is so hard to respond otherwise emotionally. I am hoping that my own lack of hatred and real rage will protect me from their skillful manipulation of my choleric temperament. Anyway, this is something I have to work on personally.

However, there is another reason for the glee I sensed in so many of the KaBalists today. They are overjoyed that my intemperate, hasty, and ill-chosen words have stirred up a lot of anger and pain. Now overall, I stand by what I said, but I would hope that anyone listening would realize that I am speaking carelessly and even, thoughtlessly. Yes, I do not have the patience to be a counselor for people who need remedial and intensive nurturing and acceptance, but I probably am not going to close down on someone after they get beat by their husband or boyfriend for the third time.

I also am concerned that the KaBalists are taking excessive delight in my straight up commentary on relations between Black men and Black women. Now, I am a very honest observer of human nature and have looked upon this situation many times over the year, so I think I am being fair in my assessment that Black women are not as supported or loved by Black men, GENERALLY SPEAKING, as their White counterparts. However, at the time I was feeling the pain of so many Black women who I have known, and did not speak as inclusively intuitive as I could have. It does no good to pound someone down--the point of constructive criticism is to motivate and inspire to lift up and change behavior, and I am not sure that I did that. I got the psychic feeling that the Amon RA people are delighted that a lot of Black brothers and sisters are angry with each other tonight, and that my words helped fuel that.

Now, having worked for 5 years in an institution with a majority of Black colleagues, I know that the pain and anger between Black men and women runs deep, and yes, I stand by my assertion that GENERALLY SPEAKING, Black women have been doing double duty, while Black males, GENERALLY SPEAKING, avoid responsibility, maturity, and commitment. However, I have seen fights go on between Black men and women--mere acquaintances-- for over a week. It is best just to speak your piece, let out the anger and let it go. Control what you can, and let the rest go. Don't focus on what happened yesterday, but dialogue and work together on how you can make positive changes in the future. And Black women--don't just gripe and complain about your situation but OWN YOUR POWER. White women do. How many white women do you think would put up with the execrable, misogynistic treatment of women in rap? Burn the goddamned CD's rather than have your sons brothers, and husbands listen to that kind of trash that totally demeans women AND MEN, all for a buck (the whole rap/hip hop thing was an Illuminati engineered trap to degrade the Black community, and very few Blacks seem to get it). Speaking for myself, I went out of my room and confronted a teenage girl who was dancing around, rapping to something about "being a pimp". I gave her a little lesson on what a scumbag scoundrel a pimp really is, and that if she did not have enough respect for her own womanhood to not listen to that kind of trash, I did, and I did not want to see her go that route. Of course her irresponsible mother was not happy with me, and asked me within a month to move. A year later she was calling me, complaining about how she was out of control of her daughter, who was stealing vicodin from her purse, she stabbed another girl with a knife, and got pregnant at 15. Geez, I wonder why?

You Black women have got the power. Use it. You may end up lonely and single, but how many of you already are there? Insist upon being treated and respected like a lady--a strong, powerful, androgynous lady, and even if it takes you a while, you will eventually find that men will be attracted to you, and in the meantime don't hesitate to point out to a brother, AT THE TIME, if his actions seem either RACIST or SEXIST to you. Hell, this strategy has worked for me--a short, fat, and really, rather homely lesbian, and I don't even want men to be attracted to me! Finally, don't give the satanists the satisfaction of enjoying your anger and pain--speak your mind and let it go, then move on. Don't dwell in resentment and bitterness. It does no good to resent other people's choices--you can only be happy, proud and staunchly insistent of your own.

Of course, I know that the satanists are enjoying their little treat of watching my anger, but, honestly and truly, I am a much stronger, and more emotionally resilient than most. I am not up against racism or sexism, but of the penultimate in cruelty and evil--a mechanistic satanism fronted by powerful and privileged humans who want to spiritually enslave the human race. Don't follow my example, for I AM PLAYING MIND GAMES, TOO!! I am trying to learn how best to fight the enemy, and I really wish that the toughest enemies I had to fight were racism and sexism. But, it is not, so I go from one day to the next, experimenting with various strategies, trying to stay on top of all the info and insights that come at me, longing for the days when I could trust my inner voice to be that of the Holy Spirit, and not one of the two dozen psychics in my ambit. I have so much that I need to process, and it would be a big mistake to assume that anything I say or write is written in stone, for I know that I am not in a healthy or safe, psychological or spiritual place to make lasting decisions, judgments or resolutions. I am constantly experimenting, trying to get a grip on the nebulous truth of our human history and reality, that is defiantly obscured by the deceptions, lies and mind games of every single (and more advanced) entity which could help to unveil the truth. I have so much to read, research and write about that I am starting to make difficult decisions in prioritization of my agendas (I really do have a lot stirring in the pot--just can't write about them all--but I hope when it is urgently time, the Holy Spirit will pry it out). I do have to say that writing this post makes me feel better--the anger is gone, so even though this post did not really advance much, it was a much needed emotional release for me. Peace.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

It is nearly 5 in the afternoon

It is nearly 5 in the afternoon AND I HAVEN'T DONE SHIT. I have this huge agenda I want to accomplish, but I am so fucked up on drugs that i can't concentrate for shit. Except that its not drugs--ITS FUCKING GODDAMNED ESTROGEN. No doubt the FUCKING SHIT hit last night when I went to post, but as THE FUCKING SHIT ESTROGEN always does--it messes up my ability to think and make connections--it effectively halves my IQ, so i hit delete on my post. so i have a dream pushing me to deal with what I got to deal with, but i cant because I AM SO FUCKED UP ON THIS GODDAMNED SHIT ESTROGEN, that these fucking pigs keep force feeding me so much that i have to stick a dish towel inside my pants to actt as a diaper to soak up all the wet, so much so that I have a rash on my legs from the panty elastic rubbing against the wet. My fucking vagina is smacking and popping like some goddamn porn star. oN top of it all, I don't have the necessary mental energy, i don't have th fucking physical energy (could barely bike home), asnd now i am full ofthe rage i feel when i have too much goddamned estrogen in my body and not enough testosterone. YOU GODDAMNED FUCKING PRICKS, GET IT AND GET IT GOOD. I AM A MAN, NOT A FUCKING WOMAN, AND I AM SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR FUCKING GODDAMNED ESTROGEN AND DRUGS FUCKIANMG WITH MY UNCONSCIOUS IN MY SLEEP SO THAT YOU CAN BE ALL FUCKING HAPPEY THAT YOU HAVE A FUCKING CRIPP.ED ISIS. IT AIN'T ME BABE. GET THIS FUCKING SHIT OUT OF ME!!! I AM A MAN. I AM A MAN. I AM A MAN. I AM A MAN. I AM A MAN. YOUR GODDAMNED DRUGS ALLOWS SOME ALTER EGO TO EMERGE IN SLEEP BUT IT AIN'T ME. QUIT WASTIN G MY FUCKING LIFE. I AMNOT A FEMALE. I WANT MY BODY BACK. IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE ME AS A MAN IN A MANS BODY--OK--BUT GHIVE ME BACK MY SEX, SO IC AN BE A LESBIAN FEMALE. GEUESS WHAT? NO SPIRITUALITY WITHOUT A SEX LIFE. I AIN'

OH---did i forget to mention that once again, I was drugged up so badly last night that it took 3 tylenol pm, vicodin and a huge glass of wine to go to sleep.. ANYTHING i say when i am so fucking drugged up, is fucking bullshit--accomodation to my fucking torturers. probably was amon ra, because i have toothache again--means that they were toggling with my brain to try to get my mind in synch with their GODDAMNED MACHINE.

It has been a couple of days since I have posted

It has been a couple of days since I have posted--not because I have been so sick that I have been nonfunctional (you know me, when I am sick to the death because of the drugs, I manage to post out a blue streak against my tormentors, somehow), but because, actually I have been healthier. About three nights ago, my brain stem was somehow moved or adjusted, and while it has not cured my autistic symptomology, which is greatly exaggerated by the viral download, it has lessened the worst of it. Most important to me, has been my renewed ability to read hard copy print. All of my life I have been a huge reader and genuine lover of well-written prose and poetry. The brain implants and viral downloads stopped all of that. I still would force myself to read books on occasion, but the ability to imaginatively immerse myself or stay focused in rapt concentration, disappeared. Interestingly enough, I could read web posts (the shorter the better--too hard to concentrate for long periods of time), for the purpose of crunching information and data, but I could not appreciate the read, or for that matter, read online literary production.

So, you can imagine my excitement and happiness to learn that the brain stem adjustment, has enabled me to read literary works again, and I have been catching up on some hard copy reading, and still have a bit to go.

In addition to my new found ability to read again, I now have a hyperacute sense of smell--and I mean hyper. In my early adulthood, I would experience this hyperacute smell when I came down with a migraine, and I noticed that sometimes the viral download would trigger it, but now, it seems omnipresent. I have to say that I don't like my own smell when this hyperacute function is in play. To me, I smell like "dead meat". When I began eating meat again (because the body was starving for it), after a couple of years as a vegetarian, I noticed that my body smelled like meat, but it was a "gamey meat" smell, not a "dead meat" smell.

Oh well, I am alive and kicking, and have a lot to do. I have thoughts stirring in my mind, and a lot (literally) knocking on my mental door, begging for attention. I know what I think--I just need to do the hard work to prove it, but I feel compelled to work through what is on my plate now, before diving into a new meal. Rest assured, though, to anyone trying to get my attention--you have got it, and I will follow up on it.

Now, I have a lot of work to do--so I am going to get to it.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Hell night last night

Hell night last night--kept groaning in pain from upper back, neck, head and facial congestion caused by excessive viral download. The KaBalists must have done something to my neck--either shortened it or tilted it forward, because I literally cannot walk erect, with my head up. My upper back/shoulders and/or head have to be hunched over at all times. There is no doubt that they chopped more muscle from my back. I can tell because of ever decreasing ability to fold arms into yoga's "eagle" pose. I can also tell, because it becomes harder and harder to clean myself on the toilet. This body is inhabitable. I keep longing for a male body, but I just don't know when it will happen.

I suppose I still suffer this painful hell, because I am supposed to alert and warn all I can, about the horrific spiritual enslavement that awaits all humans should MACHINE-RA and his human slave-minions prevail.

Last night, while I was in too much pain to even keep my eyes open, I had an intuitive flash why Baby Lisa's inner irises were turning milky white. She was going blind, because her brain had been hijacked by the MACHINE, and she was losing sensory interaction and input with the 3D world. That is, her eyes were no longer talking to her brain very well. Because she was so young, and her corneas still immature and susceptible to disruption, this was causing her corneas to slowly atrophy. Should the KaBalists prevail, we likely will become a planet of milky-eyed, blind, and even insensate (picture extreme, unmitigated autism) to much of reality. That cannot happen. I have to fight such a future with everything I have--even if it means relentless suffering.

So I am prepared to face another hell day. I am too sick to bear any sound of any type, except the white noise of my fans--that means no music or TV. My mouth is drooling with excessive saliva, and coated with slime. My head is filled with fluid--so much so that I have pain in my ears from excessive congestion, and pain on my jaws, which makes it hard to eat, swallow, or even keep my mouth closed. I have got some kind of weird congestion pools in my neck and on the occipital sides of my head, that causes stiff neck and sick headache pain. Of course, I cannot read or research--barely functional. Yet, I must get up today, and take a shower, and run to the store for a couple of things. Tomorrow a storm front is moving in, and I won't feel like going out at all. I keep hoping that the weather stays nice. I am too sick to ride a bike, or even venture out to try to find a shopkeeper who will REALLY fix my flat, but even so, warmer weather and bright sunshine keeps me in so much better spirit than cold and gray skies. So, I will thank GOd for the sunshine today, and try to get up and do what has to be done, and come home back to bed to lay in painful misery.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Enduring Vengeance from V's peers

Enduring Vengeance from V's peers. V may be dead, but there is no good news for me. Apparently, after the first astral experience, I was abducted again. Bad news. My mother's husband drove me there. I was so hoping that she had dumped that evil man--she will never be free of evil as long as she is with him. Enduring Vengeance from V's peers

Anyway, what I understand now is that nearly all of the evil I am enduring now comes at the hands of what sometimes I have termed faction 2, or the Amon Ra cult. I think the reptiles are mostly wiped out. All that is left is this faction2/amon ra cult that wants to enslave humanity to the MACHINE, forever.

My brain is not thinking very well, vecause I am so drugged that i am non-functional. I desperately want to wash and oil my homemade bookcase, but i am so sick i can barely move.

This is faction 2/amon ra trying to plug me into the MACHINE--it is very important to them that i be female. they shaved my legs, and my boobs are utterly huge from estrogen downloads i am force fed. i hate it. i hate everything those motherfuckers do to me. now tht v is dead, though, they need a reptilian queen. they have assimilated the reptiles and damned if RA is not set on having an intersexed male in a woman body take over herliason role. Unlucky me--i am all that is left right now.

Why do i keep allowing myself to suffer so much at the hands of those sick, warped bastards? Dunnno. too sick to try to figure it out. house is a mess. unable to d anything bout it. hed hurts really bad. going to take some pills.

V, aka the Black Pakistani Cobra

V, aka the Black Pakistani Cobra, is dead--at least I think so. At the very least, the head of al-Qaida has been captured, but given her twisted and warped psyche and hate-filled heart, death would have a been a mercy for her. So, I hope that her captors showed her mercy. I am not being glib. I really felt sorry for that poor woman, and I want to do everything I can, to make sure that no other child ever has to endure the horrific and sustained abuse that she, and so many others have.

We (meaning the human race), still have a problem with the Tall Whites, not only in Pakistan, but also in Syria. I am not endorsing any call to war, but in order to safeguard future generations of humanity and our children, they will somehow have to be neutralized. For today, however, I am happy that the Cobra of Al-Qaida is dead.

My dreams tell me that I was involved somehow, but still will not join the astral community. People do not understand how difficult and anxiety-provoking joining any kind of community is. I know that it would help if I were not on drugs or estrogen, but instead, I remain so drugged that I can barely keep my eyes open as I type this. I will have to take some T-tabs, just to get enough energy to get through my morning. Very, very drugged. I can yell out how counterproductive it is--no one listens. Enough for now.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

It is a little early for my last post for the day,

It is a little early for my last post for the day, but I am so sick that I do not think I am going to be functional enough in my usual energetic circadian primetime--late evening, night and early, early mornings. So I will write this stub of a post now, and hope that later, I can bring together all the loose ends and creative tie-ins that are teeming in my head. I am so sick that once more, I feel that self-expression would be better served by talking, rather than writing, but Friday is nearly a week away, and events are moving so fast, that I need to keep up.

I have been sick all day. I woke up with my urine smelling of acrid, burned rubber and have been sick with nausea and headaches all day. I have taken two fiornal and a phenergan, and keep mentally kicking myself to get up and do something, but I just can't. So I am going to write this post, and go watch TV, go to sleep, and hopefully wake up feeling better.

The big revelation is that I have come to the conclusion that the terrorist, "V" or the "Black Pakistani Cobra" is an intersexed woman. That actually is what I was thinking last night, but all the details and problematics (as an intersexed hermaphrodite myself), needed deft finessing and a full treatment. I was tired and wanted to sleep on it. However, about an hour or two before I finished the last post and went to bed, I got an unexpected jolt of energy. I think it was my felt psychic response to the ionsphere of Turkey being artificially heated in preparation for the earthquake. Consciously I was unaware of what was going on--focused on my thoughts and blank template in front of me, but unconsciously, I knew that V and her "Tall White" allies were once again preparing to attack, and I felt that I had to say something. So, I wrote the second (most recent) post, even though I knew that I was not ready to reveal the fullness of what I knew. Last night I was not sure if V was a man who had been castrated and feminized to fit Amon Ra's fetish for the feminine (a la Pharoah Akhenaton), or an intersexed female, abused from an early age. I now think the latter. As a matter of fact, I think she is the same one that Michael Prince identified as the girl who could take on the visage of a viper and hiss, when she was angry. Poor V--she was tapped to be a reptilian queen from a very early age.

I know I am opening up a huge can of possibilities and theories, and I can connect and make sense of them, but not today. I just don't feel well enough. However, I wanted everyone to know that the head of al-Qaida, the human reptilian queen here on Earth, the military ops commander protected by Afghan and Pakistani warlords is an INTERSEXED WOMAN (probably just like me--chromosomally XY in a female body). Munch on them apples for a while---especially all you patriarchal renegades, allies and admirers of al-Qaida. Tomorrow, I will elaborate on what this all means, how did this happen, ect. Hopefully. If not, it will have to wait until Friday.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

The Black Pakistani Cobra

The Black Pakistani Cobra:
I had a dream last night in which a relatively small, hooded cobra blocked my way as I tried to walk to where I was going. Needless to say, when a cobra raises its hooded head, I start walking backwards. Because the path was narrow, there was no way to go around it to reach my destination.

I found the exact same image of a cobra that matched my dream. I definitely dreamed of a "Black Pakistani cobra"--I recognized the telltale black and white patterns, immediately when I saw them.

Now, who is this Pakistani cobra? He is not the short, wizened man that I wrote about in the previous post, of whom I am starting to think might be a highly advanced psychic and medium of evil (could he use his mind to blow out my tire tube stem?...). Maybe he is an alien shape shifter, or maybe he is just an alien. He has the small stature and musculature of the evil aliens that are strongly reptilian Sirian, but he is older than what I have seen before...Anyway, I am certain that this is not the "cobra". No, the "Black Pakistani cobra" is the tortured, Canadian Indian child, who grew up to become a powerful and evil psychic seeking revenge, "V" for Vendetta, or A for "Asr" and "As", Osiris and Isis, or "Ashtar Command".

The reason I dreamed that he was a smaller snake, was to differentiate him from the huge reptiles that appear in my dreams to represent supernatural, demonic aliens (reptilians). He is human, not a powerful, multi-dimensional alien. However, a smaller cobra can be just as dangerous as a large one, and he is blocking my path to where I want to go. In the dream, the path was narrow, which is a scriptural reference--the path of sin is wide, but the path of God's will and holiness is narrow. I have got no way around him.

The cobra was a Pakistani cobra, because Pakistan is his base of operations, and probably has been for years. My guess is that young Barack Obama met him, when he was doing his Pakistani pilgrimage with his two Muslim "fock buddies". (Note: I do not use terms of slander or insult to make a point. From my readings, that is the nature of the relationship as I discerned it. I wish I could think of an equally descriptive and punchy word, but my brain doesn't work as well as it once did). Anyway, Cobra identifies himself as Muslim. I draw this conclusion from the movie, "V for Vendetta" where a sympathetic character is murdered for harboring an antique and beautiful copy of the Koran. He actually claims to be an atheist, but says the beauty of the book moves him. Likewise, I think Cobra is a de facto atheist, but is cynical about the use of religion--the best mind control weapon, ever. Because of his abuse at the hands of Christian Church authorities, he despises Christianity, and I believe wants to destroy it...especially the Vatican. I have said it before, but I will say it again--the Vatican is at extreme risk for a devastating terrorist attack. Of course this would do immense damage to the city of Rome, killing hundreds of thousands, maybe millions of people, but Cobra does not care. He has no value or esteem for human life. That lesson was drummed into him as a child.

Further evidence that he is in the wilderness of Pakistan has to do with the entire origin of the al-Qaida terrorist movement. As I have said before, "qaida" is an Arabic word that means "database", and for years, the real power of the al-Qaida movement was their database of codes--for airplanes, financial markets, etc. Like Michael Prince, Cobra was probably "rescued" from Faction 1 torture by Faction 2, who then pressed him into service as a superpsychic for rogue MI5/MI6. He probably became involved with Afghanistan in the early years, when Brzinski (Faction 2 satanist--and one of only two Columbia professors who ever vouched for Obama) was setting up his shadow and rogue intelligence network that answered ultimately to Amon RA. At what point, young Cobra earned his stripes and proved his mettle, I do not know, but I think it clear that he is the top military ops human in the Amon RA cult, and probably works in tandem with fellow Canadian Maurice Strong at the top of the human leadership hierarchy.

He probably has been based in the rugged wilderness of Afghanistan/Pakistan for decades now. When Afghanistan got too hot, because of American troops, he moved over to Pakistan. Why there? Apart from the lawlessness and ruggedness of the wilderness there, these two countries possess something much more important--caves and entrances to inner Earth. You see, Cobra and Maurice Strong are not the ultimate authorities in the Amon RA cult--the Tall White aliens are, and they live in inner Earth, and have their "vimanas" or "UFO's" hidden in these caves that access the inner Earth, to which they have been condemned to reside by God and his angel-armies, led by St. Michael Archangel. Of course, all we have in scripture, is incomplete histories, mythologies and references, but my reading of scripture, ancient history, and research into the behaviors of the Tall Whites, and their monstrously giant human hybrids, all bear out this understanding.

In short--or Tall, these "Amalekites" are a veritable scourge upon the Earth and against humankind. Wherever they are allowed to reside, and even flourish, the fabric of the human community is destroyed, and human life becomes worthless. Cobra probably doesn't realize that he is carrying out the same agenda of human degradation that he hated so much as a child. Different controls and handlers--the same outcome--warped, bitter humanity reduced to fighting viciously amongst themselves for bare survival. Even the tens of billions of dollars that we have poured into those two countries could not bring them out of their pathetic state. Forget about the wholesale graft and corruption, the lawlessness and the murders. As a westerner, I know what to look for to see where and how much evil has penetrated: The powers of Satan swell wherever there is drug addiction, sexual abuse of children, and lack of regard for women. The first and last should be self-evident to anyone who follows even mainstream media news regarding Afghanistan and Pakistan, but what most people probably don't know is how pervasive the sexual abuse of children is in many areas of those two countries. Afghanis and Pakistanis know--I can tell by reading their material and presentation of the matter. Now unfortunately, sexual abuse is a world-wide problem, but what many do not recognize is how connected pedophilia is to the satanism of demonic aliens. Where there are demonic aliens, there are satanists, and where there are satanists, the most destructive of child sexual abuse occurs. This is so damaging, because it leaves a profound wound in the child's soul, so that they find it difficult to become whole and happy human beings, and free and healthy worshipers of the sacred and divine.

The Tall Whites are the most demonic humanoid (non-reptilian) aliens that I have encountered in my reading, and thankfully, their hidey holes are disappearing. The forces for Good in the world destroyed many of their bases this past week. From what I can tell, there is only one place left in the world where they find haven--Pakistan, and Cobra is right there with them--probably in a cave so deep, or an alien structure so strong, that no drone could ever reach him.

God Almighty put these Amalekites under the ban of destruction. They are so full of corruption and amoral evil, that a moral human community cannot co-exist with them in the land. For those, who don't believe in, or have much respect for God, the argument for self-preservation still stands. It is these Tall Whites and their Amon RA human cultists responsible for so much misery--the earthquakes, tsunamis, hurricanes, and tornadoe, the ice-cold winters. They are responsible for so many acts of terrorism like 9/11, and various bombings throughout the world. They not only sexually abuse children, but they meld human DNA with animals to create monstrous hybrids. They would control reproduction with their drugs and chemicals. To live in such a world would be unbearable, yet that is Cobra's objective. Cobra is a psychopath, an extremely powerful and hating psychopath. He is a danger not only to the US, but to the entire world, as long as he is alive and unrestrained. Not only is his capture an imperative for the safety of America and the world (most recently, I believe he was the one trying to smuggle in the stolen, Libyan SAMS through Mexico, into San Antonio), he needs to be held responsible for crimes against humanity--including the 9/11 assaults.

I hope that the leaders of Afghanistan and Pakistan are capable of realizing the tremendous damage and suffering that would eventually incur onto their nations, should the Tall Whites and Cobra continue to flourish. Demonic evil has harshly ruled this planet for millennia. We finally are on the successful offensive to eradicate it. However, as long as evil is given sanctuary anywhere, it will be a threat to humanity everywhere. Believe me, the average human being could not bear what I have endured these past few years without going insane or pathological. Yet, my experiences and sufferings--the implants, the drugs, the sexual castration (V may have been castrated, too--not in childhood, but as part of some sick MACHINE RA whim)--are a prototype. I do not want to see such violations and atrocities repeated anywhere, and that includes Afghanistan and Pakistan.

In closing, I would like to get back to my dream. "Cobra" is blocking my advance. Why does he have power over me? Is it because he has put some implant in my brain that I cannot break, as I have managed to break others? Or is it some guilt and sorrow for his own childhood suffering? I don't know. I will be thinking on it for the next few days.

Stalked, and damned pissed about it.

Stalked, and damned pissed about it--especially since the Amon Ra cult forced me to walk about a mile and half. I don't mind walking--for years I loved to walk and hike for hours on end. Now, however, with my back, hips, and pelvic girdle so messed up with an anatomically incorrect and mismatched inversion and back arch, walking has become difficult and painful. I was so angry that I told myself to postpone this blog entry, because I was so hot that I might say something I regret. So, this will be a slow, careful post, especially since the netbook is emitting the noxious gas that causes my muscles to cramp and mind to cloud (another hardship bestowed by the Amon RA cult--they nabbed and altered the netbook within the first week of purchase, despite my best efforts).

Where do I begin? Well, for chronology sake, I will begin with a psychic observation that I made a couple of days ago. It was the evening after I had posted my warnings about a possible assassination attempt on Queen Elizabeth. I was out in my parking lot, when I noticed a truck pull into an adjacent driveway, which I have known for years to be home to Amon RA devotees (for a while, they were actually blue-eyed Nazis, who had the blank stare of the brainwashed). I paused to get a really good look--I want to know what my enemies look like. I didn't get a really good look at the driver, but I saw a small, bent, elderly man depart the vehicle and walk to the apt. complex behind me. More important than getting a good look at their facial features, was the psychic impression that I received. My sense was that they had just came back from a major group meeting (how many fricking Amon RA cultists are living in my town--with all of their telepathy focussed on me?), during which they had been reamed for failure to alert their superiors what was transpiring in my mind for the 2-3 hours that it took me to research and write the post.

My guess is that the post enabled the good guys to surprise the Amon RA Faction 2 cells who were preparing to blow up the Parliament building (s). I hope their losses of hardware and personnel (hopefully captured rather than killed) were heavy, but any time, one of their terrorist acts is thwarted, it is a great victory for the forces allied with the Good. So, while I rejoiced, I also went on high alert, because I could tell the Amon RA cultists were pissed at being reamed on account of me. (Actually, they were reamed because they are soldiers for evil, but they are so brainwashed that they have no idea of how they are being used and abused--it is the result of intergenerational childhood abuse and mind splitting, and nothing I say or do can impact that...)

Anyway, day before yesterday I went to the bike shop for the second time in a week. Now, understand that my bike, which is not even two years old, has been in the bicycle shop over a half dozen times. Contrast that with my old bike, which I had for 12 years, and took in for a couple of tuneups and 2 or 3 inner tube changes over the years. I still had the original tires on it! With this bike, I have had to replace the inner tubes nearly half a dozen times, the tire once (I still can't figure that one out--my rear tire was nearly bald, while my front tire looks new), 2 pedals, on separate occasions were "busted" during the night, and acid has been poured on my handgrips, and soon, I will have to replace the plastic hand gear shifter, because the acid has eaten away at the rubber casing. Of course, all of this costs money--which is a real hardship for me, but the wasteful, unnecessary expense that Amon RA inflicts upon me, has become status quo. Such is my life.

However, the only exercise option still available to me is biking, so I keep pouring money into the enterprise. When I went to the bike shop on Thursday, I got a "free" inner tube to replace the one they put in less than a week before (considering how much money I have dropped there...). The proprietors of the bike shop are good people--it is just that Amon RA types flash major security badges and get what they want. I was on the alert for the youth who had originally fixed the bike--belatedly I recognized him as an Amon Ra devotee, but instead some law enforcement guy was there. I could not get a fix on him...was he a good cop or a bad cop? I hoped that he was a good cop, and since the tube was free (I wouldn't have paid for it), I let it go. That was day before yesterday.

Today, the inner tube left me stranded, which is extremely rare--and has only happened the last two times. You see, I put "slime" in the inner tube which enables it to seal, so that the tire is still usable, just sluggish. The slime has not worked the last two times. My suspicion that deliberate sabotage was being wreaked on the stem was confirmed today when a couple stopped to try to help me inflate the tube, but could not. They were Amon RA cultists, but I was in pain, and looking at walking over a mile, so I accepted their assistance. The man blew the story wide open--he showed me that the area near the stem was cut into--and thus would not hold air. When I had tried to pump up the second of my third flats, I experienced the same thing. SO...someone is either sabotaging the stem at the point of sale, or here at my home. My inner voice says "at home", but it is incredible to me that someone would engage in such high risk behavior, for I am sure that there is serious surveillance around my home. So, I am still thinking on this, but indulge me just a little further. After I got my bike home, I went to Walmart to buy some cleaning supplies. Once again, I was dogged and stalked by Amon RA in the parking lot. I checked my tires before getting in my truck (I just had a flash--in the morning, I am going to check all my lug nuts, and will continue to do so for a while). As I pulled into the alley of my parking lot, who do I see at the apt. complex staring at me purposefully--the hunched, wizened, short old man. Now, how did he know that I would be entering by the back way, instead of the front street? How did he know what time I would be pulling in? You got it--I am constantly being stalked, even while driving. Every time, I go for a bike ride, I see those Amon RA types, and they were with me every step of the way today, while I slowly walked home. As a matter of fact, it was when I read some young punk's mind, who thought it was funny that they had deflated my tires, that I finally got the necessary energy to finish the journey. Not only did I get pissed, but I got pissed in a good way. Before, I was not sure who was responsible, but once I knew, righteous anger entered and gave me the energy I so desperately needed, and the ability to block the pain from my mind. You see, I was not positive that the dog Sirians, whom I regard as possible allies and long distance kin, were not responsible. Why? Same old mind control bullshit games that I experienced for so many years at the hands of the Catholics--let's see what happens if we do THIS to her. It is such a crock of shit to expect conversion from mind control games, but I have been abused for so many years by people in whom I once put my trust, that I have come to expect such stupid betrayal and mind games, and when people you trust abuse you, it really drains you. But with Amon RA--PFFFTTTTT. They not only are my enemies, but enemies of all freedom and God-loving human beings. Truly evil. I WOULD GLADLY WALK A HUNDRED MILES, RATHER THAN YIELD AN INCH TO THE SICK, SATANIC BASTARDS.

After I had that psychic impression that the Amon RA cultists had been reamed, I was a little concerned about what they might do to me. I do not underestimate the evil that they are capable of. However, apparently they cannot harm me, or I would have been dead 20X's over by now. Still, it is frustrating to be stymied at every turn, but it has been so long since I lived even a semi-normal life, that I just deal with it as best I can. The young punk who pissed me off with his interior laughter, asked me solicitously, "Is there anyone I can call for you?". More of the same damned games--again started years ago by the Catholics and the Spiritual Life Institute--mind control and cult games--isolate someone and you can control them. Well, it doesn't work with me. However, I am going to have to be on high alert for a while, especially after the Amon RA higher ups read the rest of this posting.

I had to really ponder on how much to write about the mystery "man", "V" that I introduced a couple of days ago, not because I would let fear of what those evil bastards might do to me, but rather because I fear war, and I would keep my mouth shut if I thought my silence helped to create a true peace. However, my inner voice keeps saying to write this up, so I will (because my inner voice can be skewed by strong emotion, and I have been so het up with anger for the last few hours, I have had to calm down).

...I have decided to sleep on Part II of this--for purpose of my own clarification. Will continue tomorrow.

I know that I am being drugged by the "Good Guys"

I know that I am being drugged by the "Good Guys", just as I surely know that I would do so much better, and be more responsive to not only my own desires and ambitions, but also to theirs, IF THE DAMNED DRUGGING WOULD STOP. I reread my posts from a couple of days ago, and recognized, "that is how I write, when I am healthy and undrugged". Yes, it could have used some minor editing, and I still have difficulty with word choice and spelling, but still I knew that I was less drugged than usual when I wrote that. Not only was the lack of drugging evident in my writing, but also that night, I was able to pray naturally and normally, uttering a Hebrew mantra, with the word, "kadosh" in it. I have always loved the intrinsic beauty of that word, ever since I learned of it as an undergrad. The mantra basically translates as "Holy, holy, holy, Lord God of the angel-armies". I would spell it out, but there is a word (the only word I had to look up), that I cannot "see" in my head, and would have to look it up. Yep, I'm drugged all right. It is too much effort to spend 30 seconds to look it up. Anyway, the point that I am trying to make is that, right now, as drugged as I am, I know the mantra would have no effect on me. In order to reach a high state of contemplation, or "ascension", I have to be off these damned drugs and excessive estrogen. I have been taking T-tabs like crazy just to get through the day, for the past couple of days. It is providential for all, that even with this low energy, the brain can think--not as well, as it can when I am healthy and undrugged, but still functional. It is really hard to get out of an autistic, imaginative state right now, but I have spent most of the past couple of days, trying to figure out what happened last week. Normally, I don't do that--always forward looking, but there is a wealth of data to crunch, and I just can't ignore it, even if it is over. Anyway, there is not much I am going to accomplish today, so I am going to go back to my plan of cleaning my home for winter. Next step--shop at Wal-Mart for cleaning supplies--I would never do that on a weekend, but the day feels irretrievably lost, when I am this drugged, so I may as well try to do something with it.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Winter is coming

Winter is coming to my town soon, and my top priority for the next few days will be to try to do one last thorough cleaning of my house. It is very difficult to do, when I am so low energy. I have been taking about four T-tabs a day, just to get through the day, but even so, I am dragging. I try to work in bursts, rest, and then work again. It took me half a day to clean my porch and sweep and mop my kitchen.

Of course, it is the estrogen dragging me down, but there is nothing I can do about it--at least consciously. Unconsciously, in my dream state, there is a lot going on. I constantly am being pressured to take sides in this Sirian war, which, consciously I do not understand. For the life of me, I cannot understand why the red and yellow Sirians do not get along. I feel like I belong to both.

Salusa was in my dream last night, and at first I thought he was a evil serpent, because he burst in through the walls of a basement apt in which I was living. Then, he turned into a brown cat, and I realized my fears of the neighbor's cat (they are Amon Ra people) were wrong--it was Salusa all along. Salusa tried to bring me a couple of little kittens in his mouth, and I was quite adamant that I did not want the responsibility of caring for kittens.

Overall, it was a good dream, because I felt happy and relieved to see Salusa again, and my thoughts increasingly lean to an understanding that my fears of a more overt alliance with him and his agenda, are the result of psychological immaturity on my part. However, I continue to be disturbed by the deep division I see between red and yellow Sirians. I don't want to choose either/or, but both/and.

Anyway, there are a lot of issues circulating in my head, but for the next few days, I need to focus on cleaning my house. Of course, I continue to read the morning papers, and stay alert for cabal negativities. Hopefully, by next week, I can try to dig in and understand this Sirian civil war. There is so much that I want to read, and I have so many articles bookmarked, but my health is so poor that I often find it difficult to concentrate for long periods of time. I am feeling a little better--just so very low energy, but still, I think I think that everyone's attempts to push me towards "Ascension" is fundamentally misguided. More than anything else, I need to just lead a normal life as possible, but it has been so long since that happened last, it would take weeks to acclimatize myself to acceptable and non-anxious socialization.

Right now, I am struggling to think clearly--I am on some kind of psychotropic making rational thought and connections very difficult--see what I mean about my difficulties? I close with blessings for all...

Thursday, October 20, 2011


Worries. The future of the planet hinges so precariously on cooperation between various factions--all of whom have their own interests and prejudices---factions between human national states vs. other human national states, alien factions vs. alien factions, and finally the most tricky of all--humans, nation states, and aliens all cooperating together. For only a truly innovative and globally concerted effort is going to prevent the highly negative future as predicted by Cliff High and his web-bot software program.

I was listening to an interview with him last night, and his predictions, based on the linguistic software that he uses to scour the sites are pessimistic. First of all, he predicts a very harsh winter for this country (and I would go so far as to say Britain and northern Europe). I think the area of the country most vulnerable lies along the delta plains of the Mississippi river and its feeder tributaries. For, just as last year, cabal factions want to freeze/thaw the ground and flood the rivers, all to soften that area up for a Madrid earthquake that blows out our heartland, and creates an inland sea from the Gulf to the Great Lakes. I expect that the winter will strike early and hard, and last all season long. I can only hope and pray that our scientists will be able to figure out how tothwart such a harsh winter.

Cliff High's linguistic programs foretell of economic collapse and disaster. Again, I can only hope and pray the patriots of the world have an alternative plan to enact, once the euro and dollar start crashing. My hope is, that so much of the creative and proactive financial planning, crafted by our Patriot Leadership Team, and beneficent patriots from countries around the globe, has been done in utmost secrecy. Thus, the linguistic web bots are just not able to pick up the (hopefully) creative, transitional financial framework that is waiting in the wings. However, dealing with such large and high-powered players as the world's nation states and power brokers, everything is so fragile. I just hope the good guys can keep it together, understanding the devastating global misery that will result, if they cannot. Nothing I can do about this, but continue to pray.

Finally, once again, I am on high alert for a possible assassination of a world leader--of course, it would be one of the "good guys". I stridently urge all good guys to take the utmost precaution in all public AND private appearances. If one is very high profile, have psychics reconnoiter all locations and audiences. One cannot be too careful.

I especially am concerned about Queen Elizabeth's trip in Australia. I was a little surprised to see that she is not using a double. Maybe at her age, death does not scare her. However, even she is certainly sensitive to the upheaval that regicide can wreak on the social fabric of the monarch's country (ies). A lot of people, especially those who identify with Faction 2, hate the House of Windsor, and certainly I understand their arguments. However, I really believe that Queen Elizabeth has tried to do the best she can for the forces of good for decades now, all the while being under the domination of the reptilian elites, both personally, and as titular head of government. In my opinion (and not being British, I don't have the time or energy to go into it), she is more of a victim than a perpetrator of the reptilian faction. Besides, no matter what, I do not like seeing anyone assassinated, and in her case, it would not be just an individual that would be murdered, it would be an assault upon the institutional underpinnings of the entire British commonwealth. Such an attack could precipitate fractures and stresses in the fragile, and as yet, covert, global framework and alliance which (I hope), is preparing for the rescue and response to the inevitable and imminent global economic collapse. Thus, it behooves all "good guys", including this staunch American patriot, to toast to "Her Majesty's continued good health".

Of course, as usual, I am basing all of this on intuitive hunches that may or may not be accurate. Practically speaking, I looked over the monarch's remaining itinerary, and identified what I think is the most likely time and location for a cabal attack--it is when she and her consort will be at a reception hosted at the futuristic Parliament building in Canberra. If any politico has declined to RSVP that function there, I would be very worried. You see, I have identified occult elements in that building. The prime minster who oversaw its construction--Bob Hawke was a satanist--probably of the Amon Ra variety. The building was constructed by a corrupt unionist that ran over project costs by 750 million dollars--almost certainly all of it siphoned off into corrupt cabal pockets. The spire that overhangs it, is in the shape of an A-frame. This is the obverse of the V symbol that is used by Amon RA types.

The "A" can be found in a lot of occult symbolism--NASA, Lockheed Martin, and most interestingly, an "A" symbol was spray painted on the Pentagon wall, right beside the blast hole of the MISSILE that attacked it on 9/11. The movie, "V for Vendetta" is only a hidden, if obverse symbol for the same occult cabal crowd. In that movie, the V character blows up a Parliament building. It happens on the fifth of November--another day that will be fraught with peril, and I would recommend that all European parliamentary buildings (especially in London), and our own US capitol, be on high alert that day.

However, I think that an attempt to assassinate Queen Elizabeth will happen before then. In the movie, "V for Vendetta", the central character, "V" is a man(?), horribly scarred by a government/religious institution-sanctioned experiment of biological warfare, involving institutionalized children. While tens of thousands die, allowing a repressive, conservative dictator to emerge (no more monarch in Britain), "V" somehow escapes with superhuman powers and plots his/her revenge. In the news recently (at least in the "real" news--not the MSM), a lot of attention has been placed on freshly revealed mass graves of Indian children at a residential school in Canada. The evidence clearly indicates, that under the auspices of the Church of England and the Roman Catholic Church, dozens, if not hundreds of children died as the result of abuse, torture, and very possibly, biological experimentation (not that hard to imagine--after all, it is well documented that, in at least one instance, Indians in this country were given blankets infested with measles bacilli--to which the Indians had no immunity). I am not suggesting that any government or institution has committed genocide. All it takes is one, or a few evil people, to act covertly and tremendous, if not irreparable harm can be done.

The Indian children were highly vulnerable as minorities in a society which really did not look out for their welfare, while their own parents were likewise dis-empowered by their minority status. It also is an indisputable truth that there has been a minority of evil that has run through religious institutions (of all confessions), for centuries, and evil always looks to violate and destroy the weakest and most innocent among us--children. Thus, evil was allowed to flourish in this Canadian Indian school for years. A really huge power broker in the Amon RA--"A" or "V" cult is Maurice Strong, who is himself Canadian. I am wondering if he has an accomplice of equal evil stature--though someone who has remained behind the scenes. Perhaps that man is a Canadian aborigine, or perhaps he, like "Michael Prince" the supersoldier, was abducted, abused and traumatized as a young boy by operatives of Faction 1 (the reptilians)in western Canada, which gave him incredible ESP gifts and skills, but left him filled with hatred and desire for vengeance. Who knows, but maybe Michael Prince WAS traumatized at that Mohawk school. Certainly, Indian children have innately superior psychic potential. There is no doubt in my mind that evil forces (of BOTH Faction 1 and Faction 2) would have attempted to exploit that, as Michael Prince's story bears out. He originally was abducted by Faction 1 and initially traumatized somewhere in the Canadian Rockies), but then, he was kidnapped again, the second time by Faction 2, which exploited his super psychic skills and services (a direct result of the terrible abuse and psychotronic implants he endured as a child) into adulthood. Maybe Prince has some idea of who this man is.

As titular head of the British government for the last 65 years, head of the Church of England, and the most visible (even if, I believe, a reluctant and unwilling) symbol of those who carry the reptilian, shape-shifting virus, Queen Elizabeth is the target of this wounded man's hatred. It is a hatred that not only would destroy her, but the entire world, in an attempt to vent the pain and fury from his horribly abused, and traumatized psyche and heart. Some misguided people think that all of this social chaos has the primary objective of bringing down the Federal Reserve--something on which all good people (including myself), of various backgrounds, can agree. However, there is an evil in the hearts of so many of these Amon-RA devotees, that the destruction and suffering they plan, is beyond all proportionate measure, and would wreak destruction and pain on a scale from which it would take the world decades to recover.

In Greece, I read where helmeted and masked rioters are attacking the peaceful rioters--that is Amon-RA, "V" working his hate. They are not interested in change for the better. It is all about, "burn, baby, burn"--destruction and chaos. Likewise, they do not care if they sacrifice their own occult building in Canberra, which is quite beautiful really, and a true symbol of artistic and public function pride for Australians. My guess is that there may already be a nuke hidden in the building somewhere, placed when it was built. Or maybe there is some secret tunnel or entrance that only the occult cabal knows about (for certainly Bob Hawke was an Amon RA devotee, and he would have passed on the info to an occult heir). The union that constructed this building, was corrupt, and led by a militant Communist. $750 million buys you a lot, and Commies are just as materialistic as capitalists.
Another possibility may be that the occult forces will use that "A"/"V" spire as a transmitter for an energy weapon laser blast from a UFO (I can't get it out of my head). One thing I can guarantee you, is that conventional security (while it should be heightened) will not be enough.

So, I close by once again, stating as a proud American deeply concerned about and committed to the future welfare of this entire planet, "You Majesty, I toast to your continued health." Take very good care, and exercise supreme caution for the next couple or three weeks--AND THAT CAUTIONARY, I WOULD EXTEND TO ALL LEADERS WHO ARE PATRIOTS!!!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

The MACHINE-RA implants have been removed.

The MACHINE-RA implants have been removed. Thank God. I was suffering terribly yesterday. I can only imagine the level of suffering endured by the victims who do not choose those implants--maybe because they have been reared in the cultic lifelstyle and had them implanted when they were too young to choose. Still, it was not a good day. I was extremely low energy all day--partially the virus download, partially too much damned estrogen, and partially a psychotropic, I think (I was badly constipated once again). My urine was dribbling all over my legs, and I think the same people who removed my brain implants did another cliterodectomy cut of my much maligned clitoris. I suppose I could be grateful that at least I have one. The numbers of the women who have had it excised, either partially or fully, are truly mind-boggling. Anyway, I will worry about that, when I am allowed the basic freedoms of a human being, which I don't think will be anytime soon.

From my dreams, I am thinking that somehow I helped to make peace with the "dog", "red" Sirians. I think that they are the ones who insist upon seeing me as a female avatar, akin to "Isis". I do my best to make friends and establish peace with EVERYONE I meet. I have no favorites. I don't consciously prefer being a Black male to a feminine avatar, because I like one side better than another. I make my decisions and choices, especially the ones that pertain to my self-identity on the basis of what seems to intuitively resonate with God's Will, and what is best for me. Peace in the universe is best for me (and the universe!). I especially hate to see any kind of civil war or intra-social disharmony, so I am happy to help out any way I can.

However, my good will and effort still does not deter the Sirians from drugging me. Compared to yesterday's hellish suffering, this low energy and inability to interact with or engage life is not such a big deal (what a good patriarchal female I would be--totally incapable of any kind of initiative or pro-active behavior). Like a good, patriarchal female, I would be very depressed, too. Such has been my day, today--forcing myself to do little things, but no desire to engage life at all. The funny thing is, that last night I dreamed that I was physically able to exercise again, and I was loving it! Skipping rope, doing aerobic dance and yoga--I loved it all. The first thing I did when I woke up this morning was stretch out my body to see if I had recovered my strong, vital, male body. Nope. As soon as I tried to stretch, I felt the strain that the mismatched lower back/mutilated pelvic girdle always manifests, and cringed back in pain. No aerobics for me. Hell, not even any yoga.

I continue to be miserable in the body (the Amon Ra people cut more of my torso, once again). I am so miserable with these Nazi boobs that hang out over the mutilated sides of my body. My mouth is full of the slime of excessive estrogen. I have taken six testosterone tablets today, just to push myself to get things done. I need about 5X's that amount to feel human. Still, better than yesterday, but still not free to be ME!!!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Sometimes I hate being proved right

Sometimes I hate being proved right--like today. I knew it was going to be a bad day, and it has gotten worse and worse instead of better. I am starving for meat so went for a wendy's double burger when I went to pick up some water. Especially when i am sick, I cannot bear to drink the tap water from my home. The smell alone nauseates me. Anyway, the fast food window worker commented on how pale I looked. I was afraid i might be jaundiced again, because i can how once again my fingers look off color, but I think i am just pale from pain and suffering.

I have figured out why so many of the Amon Ra human devotees (which are followers of the reptilian Sirians enslaved to the MACHINE), have flattened nose bridges. It is because the forehead is artificially lifted so that more MACHINE organic hardware can be fitted in behind the brows and into the forehead. Some of them, literally look like they have a v shaped implant in their heads. I look more like the Nazis (look at the Norwegian shooter, but I have seen others like him, personally), who have an enlarged, high-domed forehead. I can see the literal white lines where they forced the head to elongate upwards--it runs directly parallel from my eyes. My eyes seem to be getting smaller and smaller, wile I am developing a Neandorthal brow. I tell myself not to worry too much. The more freakinsh, bizarre, and hateful I look, the more eager I will be to make a radical racial change of my choice.

It is not the look that is driving me out of my mind, so much as it is the pain and nausea. I have already taken two fiornal which is the recommended top dosage for a day (if 2 fiornal don't help me, there's not much i can do but suffer. when night comes, i can take a vicodin or two), and still I am sick with the most incredibly painful and debilitating headache pain and nause. I find it difficult to think, to read, or to even watch tv. brain cannot handle any noise at all. i do not know how much longer i can suffer this incredible pain and suffering.

I know it is going to be a bad day

I know it is going to be a bad day when I have to take 3 T-tabs within an hour of awakening, just to barely function. Having a very difficult time--in severe pain from implants in my head, and full of rage. There is no doubt in my mind that the fucking implants and drugs are causing the rage, and tell myself to stay as calm as possible, for the rage is a setup. Obviously, I have given unconscious authority to the evil rotten Amon RA/Nazi bastards again, and they have fucked me up with implants. Yesterday, I looked in the mirror and did not recognize my face, both because of the drugs (psychotropic drugs cause me to quite literally not recognize my own face in the mirror, and have done so for years--one of the ways that i can tell when i am on psychotropics), and because my forehead had that Nazi dome look again. I caght a glimpse of one of the evil Lemurian psychic neighbors, and he had that this look of expectation towards me, my house. Uh oh. If I could move, those goddamnned evil rotten bastards would be the ones I most want to get away from. However, I know that they would already be moved into the home or apt next to me, wherever I go, so I have to deal with them, or more truthfully, deal with the part of myself that keeps giving them power over me.

having difficulty reading, writing, head keeps shaking involuntarily, and fear that soon body is going to start convulsing. i need to do a couple of things, but so fucked up, cant imagine doing anythingl nine in the morning and already i want to knowck myself out with alcohol. looking to be a bad day.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Slowly, I am trying to rebuild trust

Slowly, I am trying to rebuild trust in the reality in which I find myself. It is not easy, especially when I was up until 3:30 in the morning, with my body convulsing in involuntary, full body spasms and mini-seizures. I think I was on some kind of lithium or related drug, because my brain was rushing, and I was in a semi-psychotic state of mind. Of course, I was abducted, but I fully expect that now, whenever I prepare for bed. The question is only, "who will abduct me?". What is really disconcerting is that oftentimes, I am abducted by two or more separate factions. Of course Amon Ra devotees, the Nazis, and reptilians are hard core evil. Then I think that there are two factions of Sirians who are competitors, not only for long-standing historical reasons, but also for my primary allegiance. I think that these basically correspond to "good" dog or cat Sirians, that is, red or yellow Sirians. Of course, I carry genetic material from both. Since I am descended from both factions, like both cats and dogs, am unaware of the reason for the conflict, rationally, I would try to please both. However, I think that both sides have a radically different vision of my future--one sees me as a crippled female (the "dogs" and "reds"), and one sees me as a Black man (the "cats" and "yellows"). As I have made clear, consciously I would choose to be a Black man. It makes intuitive sense to me (and maybe I should spend some time writing out why), and I would love to be in a male body. More and more, it is clear to me, that I identify myself in every possible way, emotionally, physically, psychologically, as male. Yet, clearly I balk, and at night, am undermining my own conscious desires.

Now, I know that I still have a powerful evil spirit within me. I think it is an evil spirit of deception laid upon me in the womb, probably resulting from the alien interference which disrupted my natural development as a male. I recognize that I have this evil spirit, and could work to correct it, except that I am constantly under stress and duress from all the drugs I am given, and the constant changes done to my body at night. I think that last night, once again, the "dog" Sirians reversed my "cat" tag. Whether it was a more neutral dog faction, or the one allied with the evil MACHINE-RA, I do not know.

I DO KNOW THIS--these changes come about when I am severely drugged, to the point of psychosis. Now, whether it is the semi-psychotic state caused by the drugs, or my own inner rage at being drugged which allows the evil spirit within me to vocalize, I do not know. I do know that EVERY TIME I AM SEVERELY DRUGGED, I say or do things in my sleep, that consciously I would not do. The really difficult part is trying to remember or reconstruct what I said or did, while under the influence of drugs.

So, last night I dreamed that I was threatening to run away from home, and my mother was threatening to spank me (this actually did happen to me as a child--I ran away from home, and ended up getting a "good licking"). Now, I believe that I said that, because it is in my personality makeup to get up and move on, when I feel frustrated or stymied. I have got my Dad's adventurous wanderlust, and itchy feet. My guess is that I was threatening to move, because I am so boxed in by alien presence, and human intelligence agents on all sides of me (I have one apartment complex in front of me, and one behind me, and both of them are crawling with human psychics). I can only guess that I was angry that I was so drugged on lithium last night, that my body was convulsing, and that may have fired off a threat to move. If so, it was either an immature, angry response, or a bluff, and since I don't bluff in real life, I can only assume the former.

For I HAVE thought about moving, and have rejected it. Yes, there are times that I am certain that the aliens which surround me, are evil, but when I am more rational, I acknowledge that there is regard for me that belies such an assumption. However, even if they were evil (and remember, I had genuine Nazis living across from me, directing an energy weapon at my house for nearly three weeks, before I kicked over the pyramids that had been placed adjacent to my house), I know that moving is not the answer. I learned that years ago, when I flew across the country to visit Colleen in Florida. It was early in the abuse cycle. I hadn't even been thrown in jail yet, but even there, every where I went, cultist types (whether Opus Dei or Amon Ra--it is amazing how similar the two types of devotees are) followed me, and that dashed any hopes that I had of moving long distance to elude the negative parasites which had latched on to me, despite my loathing and desire to be rid of them. No, there is nowhere I can move to escape the constant surveillance and interference (drugging) which has been status quo for my life, for years now.

However, I suspect that "my mom threatening to whip me" was Hillary Clinton making it clear that the government would burn me bad if I tried. It wouldn't be that hard. Already, I live a most marginalized existence. That would be all I need--to antagonize the "good guys", while the "bad guys" are out there with ravenous mouths looking to snap me up.

For if there is one person in the astral arc that I trust, it is Hillary Clinton. I have followed her too long, not to know her, the bad and the good, completely. She cares deeply about humanity, and especially this country, and she has got the political savvy and survival skills to make a truly transformative and beneficient change, which is, of course, what this country needs--though it make take a few years to fully implement it. I also have watched her endure the trial by fire of the 2008 campaign and deftly elude assassination attempts in the last two years. That tells me that she is "God's 'chosen' woman", too, and while I have been known to quarrel with God and His choices, I have not had a problem with that one.

This does not mean that I think she is always right, but I trust her, more than I trust any other person of power, whether human or alien, which is influencing me. Could she possibly be deceived or make a wrong choice? Absolutely. She has been deceived by people she trusted in the past, and almost certainly will be again in the future. Because of her vocation as a politician, her efficacy depends on a multitude relationships, at all levels and depths, for support. My marginalized status allows me the luxury of greater discrimination in which acquaintances and allies I trust. Whether for better or worse, I cannot help but honor my well-earned fear of that hidden veil of deception which has cloaked our planet for millenia. It is this unconscious knowledge in my "old soul" which reserves against any unconditional trust on my part. I am not only looking out for me, but believe it or not, I am looking out for her. I know and regret that I do project negative emotion onto her that probably has to do with anger and disappointment regarding my own mother, but clearly she has no problem dealing with me clearly--as evidenced by my dream of threats of "being spanked".

I am perfectly okay with that, as I prefer honest communication and relationships to back stabbing and subtle threats. Being autistic, I miss many subtle hints in interpersonal communication. It is an area that I have worked hard on, but still I have a long way to go. I don't know if I suffer from the limitations of autism in my dream state, but I expect that I do, so I would much rather be threatened clearly than subtly. Of course, the whole point of this post is that any threat on my part, "to move" (and escape the alien influence in my current setting) was not from my real self at all. I am sure that it was from an evil spirit of deception, but whether that evil spirit was triggered by the drugs, or the anger from all the suffering the drugs caused, I don't know. I do know that as long as I am drugged, I will not be able to work to rid myself of that evil spirit of deception.

With all apologies, I must say that I am in a period of deep inner turmoil. This is caused by a show that I have been watching for a while--"Battlestar Galactica". This has been a difficult show to watch on many levels. For one thing, not one of the characters is really one with whom I can identify--they are either "too cold" or "too hot". Secondly, I find the Cylons and their ability to manifest in people's imagination, just too damned sinister, since my loss of ability to control my astral sleep, results in a similar experience. Finally, the show has "Faction 2" written all over it (check out the names on the show--Laura Roslin--of Roslyn chapel or Kara (body of RA) Thrace. Sometimes, I have to force myself to watch that show, though I insist upon resolution. Well, I am in the last season, and I think I know where the show's plot is going, and I find myself highly resistant. Intellectually, I know that I can resolve ANYTHING, but emotionally, I think I will be in a rocky period for a while, as I attempt to integrate certain truths into my personal self-concept and world view.

Of course, this could all have been much easier, if people/aliens had set and "schooled me down", instead of trying to piece everything together, a little at a time. However, for whatever reason, things did not develop that way. Do I trust aliens? Yes, but not unconditionally. I am glad Salusa is alive (there was a local story about the death of a zoo lion and I feared the worst), and was not the involved in the most recent factional attempt to ouster/kill Hillary Clinton. At the time, I was not sure. I am uncomfortable with some of the material in Salusa's postings, and I only dropped my firm resistance to him, because I deduced that a lot of "good guys" who I respect, including Hillary Clinton, trusted him. Since then, I have had positive astral encounters with him (the few that I remember), but I am just too caught up in a Sirian civil war that I do not understand, to trust him completely. Then there was the alien that I met in the Census workplace, and then a short time later in an astral encounter. I trusted her, and allowed her to inject me with something that she warned could paralyze me if I twitched. I made really sure to lie still, but by trusting her, I ended up catching a bodacious body beating at the hands of her compatriots--I think that very same night. They didn't like the small, horny protrusions on my belly, since that meant I had some other genetic bloodline in me (crazy, the racism that exists among these aliens--and we think humans are bad...). Then of course, I would trust the alien woman I saw at the hospital, except that the MRI scan she gave me, was used to gut my body of its masculine musculature and extra set of ribs, which has left me feeling miserable, and unable to exercise for the past year. Even now, I am often abducted by opposing camps of aliens, so how can I be sure who or what is causing the sense of violation that I often feel upon awakening.

Still, I do the best that I can to piece information together as best I can. I maintain, and always have maintained, that it is not what I say in my sleep that is 100% me, it is what I say and do in my conscious life. How long I have to put up with all this unconscious abduction and manipulation, I don't know. At least, I am not drugged up, tonight, so maybe I will watch another episode of that tv show that is causing such emotional turmoil--so if I am out of character in my dream state--you will know why...

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Figured out why I was so fucking sick all day

Figured out why I was so fucking sick all day--unable to go for even a small bike ride, and no longer able to do even a walk down the alley. I am on lithium. I have been so fucked up and without any energy all day that I could not do anything--read, sweep my floors, or bike. Could not watch any serious tv. Good thing football games were on. However, not that it is night, brain is ffucking rushing so bad i am going out of my mind. head wants to shake, sensistive to touch. This is lithium or similar something sn it is making me fucking psychotic. taking more pills to try to knock myself out.

I may not know who I trust

I may not know who I trust, but I know who I don't trust. I don't trust the aliens/occult humans who continue to abduct me at night. They are either Amon RA devotees or dog-identified Sirians who are plugged into the MACHINE (and have a very yucky evil spirit). Whether they are cat or dog identified, is secondary to the fact that they are MACHINE-RA identified and dominated. I know they are the ones abducting me, because they keep pulling out my hands from the wrists (easy to spot--it leaves a fresh, white band on my tanned, brown skin). It also is easy to spot, because I long ago identified those elongated hands and abnormally long fingers, as markers for humans who are evilly occult and plugged into the MACHINE. You can imagine my dismay, at looking down on my wrists as I type this, and seeing those hateful, bizarre, elongated wrists. Then, to top that off, I am force fed so much estrogen, that once again, I am sticky wet between my legs. I don't know if this is a normal response to excessive amounts of estrogen or not, but it is DRIVING ME FUCKING CRAZY. (Probably, they give the prospective female massive amounts of testosterone, but they don't do that to me, because they are terrified of masculinizing their imaginary, Isis kewpie doll).

Anyway, writing this helps. Somehow, it makes me feel better to articulate my misery and suffering, and it gives me hope that some day, some way, I will get a body back in which I can be comfortable, and of which I will feel the proud, natural owner. Now, I just feel like a slave, yanked one way, then another, as the evil occult people do their constant manipulations on me.

I am on some kind of drug, too. I know, because not only could I not dream last night, but I am unable to emotionally respond to any music today. I am a music lover, and yesterday, I was perfectly normal. Today, I cannot bear to listen to even classical music--not only do I not "feel it", but it gets on my nerves.

So what do I do in this messed up body that drives me crazy? Plod along. I have to hope that somehow God or the good is going to come to my assistance--"Lord make haste to help me". On a day like today, when I cannot even listen to music, I will have to focus on simple things--cleaning my home, watching TV, ect. I am too drugged to continue. Need to lay down.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

I don't know who or what to trust

I don't know who or what to trust. I am surrounded by aliens, humanoid shapeshifters, and cats and dogs allied with Syrian symbolism, and I AM CONFUSED. I know that I was right last week about a major blowup with the Sirians--but which faction?

Was it Salusa? The cat Sirians? The dog Sirians? The Amon Ra devotees (they are cat-identified), couldn't be more despised by good humans all over the planet. As a matter of fact, that bishop from Kansas City strikes me as Amon Ra. I had no idea the KC diocese was such a mess, but I started looking at pictures of their priest and deacons, and my God, that diocese is run by clerical devils. Anyway, because Baby Lisa is from the Kansas City area, I wonder if that indictment had anything to do with her occult sacrifice. I can tell you this (sorry to disappoint all you conservative Catholics out there), that Opus Dei is deeply allied with the Amon Ra cult on some levels (I think the cult mindset and body hating behavior predisposes a disciple for even more heinous occult activities). Anyway, read about the bishop, and the one before him Like so many others, he joined Opus Dei right before becoming a co-adjunctor (heir apparent). Of course, it could be that the Opus Dei hierarchy completely lacks genuine spiritual discernment and just vets for formalized verbal assent to dogma. Whatever, the case, I have seen too many scary types to feel comfortable with those cult members, and I can tell you that Robert Finn is one very sick man.

However, although there are many things going on, I myself am trying to get my bearings. WHO DO I TRUST--even just 51%. Right now, no one, from any of my neighbors to either of the TWO, SEPARATE UFO's that I saw last night. I know that some people/aliens ar looking out for me, but is that because they want to use me?

At least I felt better mentally today, though my guts are back to their "tore up" status. I dreamed last night that I was supposed to ascend, but I couldn't, because while I was swimming in a pool, a shark came along and tore out a huge chunk of my thigh. This is very true--I lost a lot of musculature in my thigh, along with three inches from my legs and lower back--a big deal to go from 5'1" to 4'10". Fucking sucks. Anyway, I interpreted the dream to mean that all the abuse I have suffered over the last few years, and the complete lack of any support, has undermined my faculty/ability to trust. In the Old Testament, the patriarchs would place someone's hand under their thigh as the highest sign of their trust and confidence. My guess is that it denotes trust that you could allow a stranger so close to your genitals, your sexuality. Well, my genitalia and sexuality have been castrated--both male and female parts. I have had nerve ganglia cut out, so that I no longer have much orgasmic sexual sensation. My whole concept of positive body self as an intersexed man in an overt woman's body, has been completely destroyed, leaving me in a body which I hate. So, yeh, I would say that the shark did a pretty good job. I don't know what it will take to trust--say 50%--again. I just take it one day at a time, and one night at a time, for of course, the abductions and cranial manipulations continue. Something needs to break fast, or I am going to have serious dental problems. All the constant instrumentation and probing and pulling in my mouth has left my gums perilously thin and recessed. My nerve in the gum below my eye tooth keeps bothering me. I can't afford a couple of thousand dollars worth of dental work, while these damned torturers constantly manipulate my face and jaws (of course I can tell--my bite is always "off"). Nothing for it--just try to orient myself to this current reality slowly, and hope I survive.

Friday, October 14, 2011

I guess that it does good to complain

I guess that it does good to complain--something has been done to my intestines which has somewhat normalized them to pre-back injury status. I still do not have the back muscle strength I had, but I am guessing that my nightly abductors were able to revitalize nerves to my gut. This is important because actually a lot of neurotransmitters are conveyed this way. It certainly has lessened my anxiety and compulsive behaviors that I experience during the viral download, but still I suffer from autism, and its related behaviors. I also experienced severe hypoglycemia today, and my urine has that pungent nitrogen smell again. I also had the nasal congetion and slimy mouth of too much estrogen, and came down with a bad sinus and "GABA" headache. Now, I am posting this, as I go to take a vicodin because the brain rushes are interfering with my sleep again. Am I on drugs? I am finding it very difficult to concentrate or even watch an intense show. I think a lot of drugs are being experimented on me, all in one day. I am going to bed, and hope tomorrow is better.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

October 13th

October 13th--how could I forget? It is a fucking "holy day" for the fucked up, psychologically and spiritually immature, so-called "Knights Templars" who are the non-reptilians who want to castrate and force me into a facsimile of Isis for their fucked up, weenie brains, spirits, and shriveled, unused dicks. For yes, the Templars have a sick spirit, very akin to so many unfortunate celibate priests. They are extremely sexually (and thus, spiritually) immature, deny their own nature, and look to cripple the feminine, so they can continue to feel good about their own crippled manhood.

October 13th--how could I forget? Last year at this time, on the same exact day, I was in an MRI tube, ostensibly getting scanned for the cause of my back pain, but in reality to help the Templars and their Sirian allies plan on how to cut out my shoulders, back, pec muscles, chest and torso, so that I better met their idea of "feminine".

October 13th, 1307--centuries ago, how could I forget? I think I have an archetypal connection to Jacques de Molay, who was arrested on that day, tortured, and burned at the stake. If I am right, I would have been a highly intelligent spiritual seeker, who sought to know the occult mysteries, to better shed light on even previous incarnations/unconscious archetypes, as Osiris, enslaved to "The Machine".

Oh yeh, my bad, for not being mentally prepared for what the motherfucking bastard pricks who call themselves, "knights templars", did to me last night. First of all, let me say they "prepped" me with psychotropic drugs. That is why I have spent the last two days so very sick that I could barely move. I "get it" now--those drugs they give me are to completely wipe out all resistance to unconscious mind suggestion, to allow them to bring up a hidden and weak fragment of my unconscious--in short, the feminine identity, which IS NOT MY REAL, TRUE IDENTITY, but a sick, weak, and even evil fragment. After two days of barely being able to move or stay conscious, after two days of being force fed huge amounts of estrogen, on top of whatever potent psychotropic they gave me, that had me completely zoned out of reality, they get in my unconscious mind while I sleep and tease out the crippled, subjugated, "Malinche" (look it up) feminine personality they adore and worship with their own crippled, subjubgated, "Malinche" masculine spirits.

WELL FUCK YOU, YOU MOTHER FUCKERS. YOU SICK BASTARDS, YOU IMMATURE, WORTHLESS PRICKS, GO TO FUCKING HELL AND FUCKING ROT!!! That is my October 13th wish for you--that, and that Planet Earth be rid of your evil, occult asses forever!!!

I knew when I woke up this morning that I had been psychically raped in my sleep once again, for I woke up with that yucky feeling of being violated--for all you sheeple, there is NOTHING holy or spiritual about these Templars. Not only have I encountered them in an astral state, I have encountered them in reality (fucking pricks hang around my neighborhood, trying to put their evil mojo on me), and I can tell you, honestly and truly, that they have a sick, warped spirit. Maybe, back in the 13th century, they were more spiritually robust, but maybe not--I know that I would have been desperate to learn the arcane, occult mysteries so that I could better understand my fate.

Well, I don't need to join some occult, secret society to learn the arcane, occult mysteries now. Thanks to 20th century technology, I have the Internet, and while admittedly it is more laborious to reach the truth that way, I don't have to sell my soul to gain an admission ticket for the short cuts provided by secret societies, initiations, and rituals. I think that all of them are full of lies, anyway. Nope, my way is slow, but this time I damned sure am not getting tricked into stepping into my own "coffin" (metamorphosis light chamber?), and being enslaved by "The MACHINE" for generations.

Still, I cannot stop from being tricked by those sick pricks and their Sirian enablers, in my sleep, and they cut on me radically, last night. I can't even shit, now. They cut out my back muscles that I use to defecate. I have only had that experience once before in my life--the day after my back injury. The day of my injury was like every other day of my life--I had a full bowel movement in the morning. After my back injury, I sat on the toilet, but realized that I had lost the back strength to evacuate completely. The body, being adaptive as it is, learned to have two partial bowel movements in the morning, separated by an interval of an hour, since I no longer had the necessary muscular strength to complete the operation. Well, imagine my surprise, when this morning, I sat on the toilet, and realized, that just as on that day 15 years ago, I didn't have the back muscle strength to even do a bifurcated bowel movement. Instead I have had four attempts at defecation--pooping out "mini-turds", but I can never evacuate my lower bowel completely, and feel constantly miserable with constipation, though I know it is the result of muscle mechanics, rather than anything going on with my bowels. Now, thanks to the Sirians and Templars, I am going to be fucking miserable with unloadable shit in my system every day for the rest of my life. They also fucked up my ability to ride my bike. I had to stop my ride early, and could barely get home, because my legs had lost all strength and power--again, because the fucking pigs cut out my back muscles.

Well, get one thing straight, you fucking pricks. I hate everything you do to me, and have done to me. I HATE MY BODY. I HATE THE FACE I NOW SEE IN THE MIRROR. I HATE MY LOW ENERGY. I HATE, LOATHE, DESPISE your vision of the feminine, AND I KNOW FOR AN INDISPUTABLE FACT, THAT IS NOT ME. You know it, too. That is why you have to prep me with drugs two days before the big, astral event, so that the lying fragment of my unconscious can come out at your (subliminally occult?--what the fuck do you Templars do all day long, living around my house?) command. I will go even further and say that I think that feminine fragment is the result of alien interference with me in the womb. GOD WILLED ME TO BE MALE!!!! That is why my DNA is male, but the aliens that were active in Detroit/Chicago at the time (and they were legion), were able to read my "pure bloodline" in the womb, and wanted me as female, since reptilians (whether Draconian reptilians or Aryan reptilians--a branch of Sirians) like queens for their hive society. So, those aliens interrupted God's plan for me, IN THE WOMB, from male to female, and that change has resulted in my life being one of constant and nearly insurmountable challenges.

I will prevail. I will get my body, or a FULLY MALE body back, and every morning, when four or five times, I strain on the toilet, because I have no back muscles, I will get my spiritual resolve to fight back against you sick motherfuckers. I will win--YOUR FUCKING GODDAMNED PSYCHOTROPIC DRUGS CAN FUCK MY HEAD UP, BUT NOT FOR LONG BEFORE THEYKILL MY BODY. I WOULD RATHER BE DEAD THAN LIVE WITH THIS FUCKED UP FEMALE ENERGY; I WOULD RATHER BE DEAD THAN HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE CRIPPLED SPIRITUALITY OF PATRIARCHAL RELIGIONS--WHETHER JESUIT, SPIRITUAL LIFE INSTITUTE, OR TEMPLAR!!!! Death would indeed be preferable than life in this fucked up body, with this fucked up, crippled energy pattern, that to you bastards is "feminine".