Monday, February 27, 2012

In memory of my deceased sister,

In memory of my deceased sister, I dedicate this post and make this plea:

My sister was killed a week before her 20th birthday. I think that like many sensitive souls, she had a premonition of impending death. She would say, "I don't want to grow up. I want to be a teenager forever". She got her wish, or rather, she complied with the dictates of MACHINE-RA. For as I said in the previous post, my sister was murdered, as was my father. Regarding my father's murder, I can make an excellent, airtight case, but that of my sister's is more difficult to prove, as she apparently died of natural causes, when she and a friend got into an accident while driving late at night--no alcohol, no apparent foul play. My sister's friend just fell asleep at the wheel, and crashed into a parked semi-truck (the symbolism is indicative just by itself). However, knowing my sister's fate, my inner voice has increasingly clamored that I vocally admit, that indeed, my sister was murdered--by KaBal UFO over the mountains east of San Diego (plenty of KaBal craft there). From my internet conspiracy theory readings, I know that the KaBal/CIA possess a weapon that can cause someone to instantly fall asleep. The inexperienced teenage driver would not have known what was happening until it was too late. She survived, but with terrible guilt; my sister was killed instantly.

I know that she did indeed die, because I insisted upon seeing her body at the morgue. I was not being morbid. I just have an insistently rational mind that must have convincing evidence and proof, before I can whole-heartedly believe something. Having not seen my sister, K, in a few months, I wanted to see her one last time, but unconsciously, I must have been suspicious, because later at the funeral parlor, I felt a compulsive need to peek inside the coffin--and it was empty! Again, I was not being morbid. When my father died, I identified his body at the hospital; during the funeral, I refused to go up and see his corpse in the coffin. My aunt H., a great person, put her arm around me, and told me, "it's okay; you don't have to go up there if you don't want to. It's not your dad, anyway. It is just a shell". But I wasn't being squeamish about death or corpses. It was just that I had already proven to my satisfaction that my father was indeed dead, and having already seen and identified his "shell", I had no desire or need, whatsoever, to see it again.

With my sister, it was different--I kept having a compulsive need to check to see if she was really there, and when I did, she was gone. There is no doubt in my mind that the MACHINE-RA, through its human minions of the KaBal, can take clinically dead, human corpses, resurrect their brain, and plug them into the MACHINE, where it enjoys the virtual reality scenarios that play out as the body dead/brain artificially alive, neurons keep firing away. It is what took place in post-Amon-RA, ancient Egypt (and how Osiris and Isis ended up enslaved to the MACHINE for God knows how many years), it happens all over the world now with distinguished decedents, both noble and evil, and it happened to my 19 year old sister, K.

I think that my sister became a target after what I believe was my initial abduction experience while camping alone in the California desert. I had gone out camping with a church group to a desolate area of sand dunes out in the Mojave, and in 1984 or 1985, I felt a need to go out there solo. I remember the trip, because I was a college student with no car, so I went to a cut rate, car rental place, to get a vehicle to drive there. Because I have identified a genetic, hybrid daughter who was born, probably in 1985, that must have been when some evil KaBal or alien craft must have abducted me, and lifted out a few eggs. (By the way, knowing what I know now about southwestern deserts, there is NO WAY in the world, that I would ever go camping out alone in a desolate spot, ever again). Anyway, I think the KaBal recognized, through the giftedness of this daughter (and yes, she is gifted), that I had "prime" DNA.

However, they did not target me at this time, either because they knew that I was a hermaphroditic, reptilian queen hybrid, or because they knew that I had been initiated into satanic mind control as a very young child, and therefore they thought that they could use me, at a later date, once established in a career. My sister was barely born, when we moved from Detroit, so she was spared the satanic abuse, at least while she was alive. Once she was clinically dead, however, she could not rest in peace. She was plugged into MACHINE-RA, and her brain kept artificially alive, for at least a year or few, while her ova were fertilized, and placed into incubators for the requisite year it took for them to emerge as full, adult humanoids.

Now, remember that I said in a previous post, that these hybrid children conceived on Mars, need a psychic connection with their genetic mother, in order to thrive? Well, K.'s children never got that necessary nurturing, because their mother was clinically dead, and not interacting with the real world, but only neurally responding to fantasy stimuli. You see, there is a HUGE difference between the real world, with alive, ensouled human beings, and the fantasy world of the imagination as created by MACHINE-RA. In the real world, we have to engage beings of free will, and we meet resistance, challenges, and difficulties, and it is this friction, this clash of free wills, that generates the real, if mystical, soul forces of love, compassion and forgiveness. My genetic hybrid children, "felt" this soul quality, because believe me, I have experienced a lot of resistance in my life, and have always worked to persevere in love, despite this. My sister's children did not have this benefit, and I think that is part of the reason that so many are in psychological pain. Because my sister was clinically dead, she could not engage them in the bond of real love, and they feel that as an emptiness, a lack, that has left many of them struggling to affirm a positive self-identity.

Now understand that the MACHINE/KaBal were very thorough, and my sister has multiple offspring, some of whom are very fair and blonde, raised in wholesome, country families, some of whom are dark-skinned with a Hispanic or Mediterranean Brown, and maybe even a few who are African Black. Some have been promoted to the pinnacle of celebrity success, and some were bred and groomed to be hard-core sex slaves. Many of them, I think, are just in emotional and psychological pain. No matter where they fall along the continuum of individuation, I would say the same to all K's children--that despite the tragedy and distress that you must have experienced from your mother, while in the fetal state, the formation of a positive self-identity and working through the emotional pain of feeling unloved is a familiar hardship to many, including your own mother.

I am sad to say that your mother suffered from the exact same hardships as many of you do. For our family was very dysfunctional, and both Mom and Dad had agreed to cooperate with the negative occult, which always steals a bit, if not the entirety, of your soul. Furthermore, I think that they had both been subject to mind control, which left Dad raging, and Mom, emotionally aloof from her children. Additionally, both parents had deep contempt for the feminine, and K. was the most femmie girl you could possibly imagine. I will go so far as to say that she was the most mistreated and abused of all of us children. I don't want to distress you with the details, but believe me, she had it pretty rough, and she endured it all alone. She really was the only strong feminine force in the household, since my mother was so emotionally unavailable, and I really was a male in disguise. I wish I could have been either a big brother or a big sister to her, but I was an intersexed being, who was absorbed with my own identity formation difficulties.

However, I hope to impress upon everyone reading this, that despite the abuse, betrayals, and lack of love that was directed at her, from within her own family, K. never stopped loving and forgiving everyone and everything. She was a gregarious charmer from birth. The first Christmas that she could talk, she walked up to all the people in the store, extending her hand, saying, "Merry Christmas, sir" or "Merry Christmas, Ma'am", and this open, friendly and cheerful engagement with the world was to continue her entire life, no matter how much pain and rejection she felt. And she did feel pain and rejection. I was surprised to come home from college once, and see her reading John Powell's book, "Why Am I Afraid to Love?: Overcoming Rejection and Indifference".

Now, this book is a satisfactory primer for psychological self-help, but I cannot recommend it, as "Father" Powell, ended up being charged with sex abuse. However, the title itself is indicative of the pain that she was going through, but you would never have known it from the way she engaged the world--right to the end. She was constantly cheerful, vivacious, full of life, and despite my intelligence and verbal facility, could take me out with her feminine zingers, each and every time. The last time I saw her, she was ill and hoarse with strep throat, but she told me that she was going dancing with her friends that night. I asked her how she could dance when she felt so badly. She airily waved her hand, and said, "oh, once I start dancing, I forget all about how bad I feel". As a matter of fact, that is what she was doing the very last time I saw her alive. She dropped me off at the airport, I gave her the requisite hug, and as I checked my bags curbside, I could see her waiting for traffic to clear. Turn signal flashing, she was dancing in the car seat to Gloria Estefan's, "Come on Baby, Do the Conga", while long, silver earrings,glinting in the sun, dangled from her ears.

I do believe that K has been freed from the virtual reality hell of the MACHINE for some years now, but I cannot help but feel, no matter how deep her suffering, that she knew herself, deep inside, that she would pull through it okay. The reason I say that is because of her incurable optimism. Her favorite book was "Gone with the Wind", and she completely identified with Scarlet O'Hara. She was a hopeless romantic in the classic sense of the word, in that everything always had to turn out rosy. She just couldn't abide deep tragedy, and when I would try to get her to read the intense classics I read, she would always ask me, "is it a happy ending or a sad ending?". If it was a sad ending, she would refuse to read the book--and she would read the final pages before starting, just to make sure. I did fool her once, getting her to read "Green Mansions", after which she swore she would never trust me again. So, I asked her once, "K, how can you read "Gone with the Wind" over and over again, when you can't bear unhappy endings?" She replied, "It is NOT an unhappy ending. Scarlett gets Rhett back. I KNOW she does. Because she goes back home to Tara, and Tara is her strength, and when she is strong, NOTHING can stop her.

I really do believe that K.'s strength of soul prevailed, and in the end, the final chapter of her life IS a happy ending. As a matter of fact that happy ending is playing out this very day, through the lives of her children. She DID go back to "Tara", and she has numerous and very beautiful daughters to prove it. You see, the MACHINE can read the contents of your unconsciousness, but it can never steal your soul, only enslave it for a period of time, but Jubilee always returns, because ultimately there IS a God or intrinsic universal moral force that insists on the sovereignty and free will of the ensouled human person.

My fear, however, is that this unfolding happy ending is about to be interrupted by yet another cataclysm of negative and destructive human vengeance. It is interesting that K.'s favorite book should have the civil war as the historical backdrop, and the main protagonist identifying with the defeated, humiliated South, for it is the civil war, this time between factions of Sirians, that once again is threatening to lay waste to "Terra". Now, as I said before, I am not sure of what factions precisely is responsible for K.'s suffering and enslavement to the MACHINE. I think that there may have been more than one faction involved, just because her children run the gamut of ethnicity. However, I know that the Nazis/CIA are in way deep, because of the mind control used to manipulate and enslave so many of the hybrid children, including those of myself and my sister. From what I have witnessed of my own hybrid children, I think Brown, Black or dark skin, may have been the prime indicator in determining whether or not a hybrid is condemned to the status of sex slave--whether for or by reptiles or humans, or as is probably most common, both.

Now I cannot be sure, but I think this hatred between Sirian ethnic factions goes back a long way. I think the Aryan race (which already was compromised by the reptiles) split into two factions--basically those that interbred with African Black (which is my heritage), and those that did not. I think the Merovingian/Templars faction is the one that comes from the Aryan/African Black (Sirian cat) bloodline, and I think that they are the ones threatening to destroy Terra by pole flip, so that in the new 26,000 eon, the mixed race/Black peoples of the world dominate and the Whites are enslaved. Now, they would never admit to that, maybe not even to their own selves, but that is the way it always turns out when vengeance is the primary motivation.

This Sirian faction has every right to be in soul agony, for they are the ones who have endured unimaginable horrors in the genetic breeding laboratories on Mars. They have suffered terribly, from a contingent that regarded them as less than fully human, because of the African Black in their DNA, and I do not say this impersonally, because I also have suffered at their hands, as has my sister, as has my hybrid children and nieces, and as my wife/lover and mother of my children. Do not think, for one second, that I don't feel the pain and outrage over the accumulated decades and lives of suffering. However, if the desire for vengeance prevails, I guarantee you the MACHINE and reptiles are the winners, and humanity--all of us--will be once again, subjected to the domination of evil.

You know, I have done everything I possibly can to make my position clear on my extreme distaste for racial strife and claim to domination. It is no surprise to me, that PF an I have the key to spiritual reproduction of biological life. Purity of essence does not reside in any one particular ethnicity--it resides in the commingling of all of Earth's genetic heritage. Of the 12 tribes of Israel, at least 2 or 3 were African Black, and the Fall, the loss of our once noble heritage, was accompanied, if not actually caused by, separation and strife between ethnic families.

I have identified the beginning of the Fall as the death and soul enslavement of Osiris, who I believe was the stargate Watcher and patron of the Black races. Because of that, I have made an interior consent to becoming a Black man, a little reluctantly yes, but not only is that a huge change, but I just haven't gotten much support from the Black community, while I have gone all out for them, over and over again, for over two years. However, in the end, reason determines my decisions, and my reason tells me that this would satisfy and balance both cosmic and personal karma. So, I am okay with the decision--it is just timing that is the issue now. Patience and forgiveness, everybody--we are so close to the Great Jubilee, the one that liberates this entire quadrant of space from the evil and slavery put on it so long ago by the reptiles. All of this will be destroyed if we let our personal pain and suffering dictate vengeance.

Africa will be strong again. I know this in my heart, but it doesn't have to rise in prominence once again, by a pole flip that causes the destruction of the northern hemisphere. If the future should unfold as I foresee and hope, and a personal "pole flip" results in a re-ordering of my own DNA so that I become a Black man, I will do everything in my power to make the continent of Africa a strong and prosperous civilization once again. I already see such progress being made in many countries, but there still are some difficult spots where decades of abusive imperialism and incursions by the KaBalistic occult, are endangering the future. Now, my intuition is pretty good, and honestly, I find the immediate prospects for a re-emergent Africa to be very bright, WITHIN MY LIFETIME, if we can just hold the planet together, so that it doesn't take centuries, "to re-invent the wheel".

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Ready for a really incredible revelation?

Ready for a really incredible revelation? I'm a father--a proud father, an excited and happy father, but very frustrated father. Now, readers of this blog will know that my eggs were stolen, and I found out that I was the "mother" of multiple human/alien hybrid children, born on Mars. However, the evolutionary life force on this planet took a major leap forward on Feb 24th, when I became the father of four children, conceived here on 3D Terra, but born in the astral 5D realm. I call myself a "father", because the children were conceived and born within 24 hours, after an intense bout of psychic sex with PF. No, I haven't lost my marbles or flipped to the MACHINE's delusions. It really happened, although I no longer think the term, "psychic sex" is sufficient. Instead, I prefer the term, "spiritual sex". Actually, my personal, favorite phrase for what is happening is "Quantum entanglement".

Now, because we live in a 3D world, sexual "quantam entanglement" involves physical conjugation of two bodies--sloppy, messy, wet, and very, very physical. However, as I pointed out in a recent post, what is happening between PF and I is on an energetic level, that is a spiritual level. Yes, I can literally feel her energetic body against mine, and I definitely have a 3D sexual response.

However, I had NO conscious idea that I could conceive a child through energetic, "spiritual" sex. So, when I came home after an afternoon of chores, and immediately felt PF's intensely emotionally agitated presence, I tried to figure out what was going on, with not much luck. So, finally I said that I would try to take a nap--which is what I do, when I feel like I need to be in the astral realm. Consciously I may not know what is going on, but unconsciously I have success nearly always. However, I decided to do a quick perusal of the web, before heading to sleep, just in case there was something I needed to think about while falling asleep--you know, something like a major attack on Iran, or a massive New Madrid earthquake.

Instead, I saw the unmistakable clues that informed me that what I had thought was a metaphorical dream from the night before had happened literally. I had woken up from a dream in which I stood there, wearing a pair of heavy laced-up work boots, kind of stunned and shell shocked, while someone told me, "Congratulations, you are a father now".

As soon as this conscious realization hit, I knew it was true, and so I hustled back out to engage in psychic conversation with PF. I suppose an onlooker would have found it comic, because I really had no idea what had happened, and was engaging the matter on completely 3D terms, assuming first of all, that I somehow had gotten her pregnant, and was very agitated about it. Then of course, my rational mind was trying to figure it all out--how could this have happened?

My biggest fear was that the Vatican satanist contingent had one or two of my eggs, had created a viable fetus and placed it within PF's womb. You see, I know that the Vatican satanists have one or a few of my eggs. I remember the morning, when I woke up sore, cramping, and doubled over, with tears streaming down my cheeks, and the realization struck me that satanists had been busy scraping out whatever stray egg or two, that they could find, because they had belatedly realized the value of my ova, which already had been removed during anesthetized surgery. A few months later, when Ratzinger visited Scotland, I intuitively knew that my stolen ova was the reason for the visit, and that Ratzinger was striking an alliance with the highest ranking Scottish freemason and/or secessionist Merovingian. In short, patriarch that he is, he was asking for permission to use my Scot-heritaged DNA to serve the reptilian Vatican agenda by conceiving a monster child using my own ova. Of course, since I am regarded as a "woman", by these patriarchal pricks, my own body, ova, preferences, free will and choice, have absolutely no bearing on, or relevance to the matter. It was an agreement, a "contract" between two highly evil representatives of Satan (the reptilian empire) Itself--and thus it satisfied their idea of justice and legal propriety.

So, I was extremely worried that, maybe the Vatican had managed to implant such an embryo withing PF's body. That was a dumb idea of course, because PF is fully aware and in free possession of her own self in the astral realm, unlike me, who gets yanked around from one abusive faction and set to another. So, it was a difficult conversation, but with the help of my intuition, I figured out that I had twins (wrong--it was quadruplets), and that somehow, they had been kidnapped by evil entities. So that night, in my sleep, in the astral realm, PF (she insisted on going) and I went looking for our babies.

In the dream, which is the only way that I can remember what happened, we found the four babies--they were being held by MACHINE "skin jobs" (for those familiar with Battlestar Galactica). I was an angry father, out to regain and protect my children, and I literally melted the skin off one "terminator" cyborg, grabbed up our babies, told PF to "run", and told the people in the waiting room to call the police--the entire operation was a fraud.

Well, the babies got back okay, and having seen them in the astral realm for a couple or three nights now, I can assure you, that they are not "monster" children at all. Like other hybrid children I have seen, they are unusually precocious and bright. They also do not have an infancy/toddler stage--but move right into the 3-4 year old stage. You see, hybrid children are born with their connection to the astral realm, or "deep unconscious" intact, fully awake and fully alert. They don't need to be slowly weaned away from it by long periods of sleep and physical helplessness, as do 3D children.

One of the boys is like me, autistic, and was having a little bit of trouble adapting to the outer (4 or 5 dimension) reality. His siblings were all verbal and self-expressive, while he was kind of zoned out and non-verbal. Because I am autistic, I KNOW how his mind tracks and moves, and wanted to spend some time with him, so that I could engage his mind, so that he could move past his noticeable developmental tardiness. Apparently, PF and I tried to take him outside for a walk (there is no way, in my astrally crippled self that I could change dimensions with him), so I could engage his brain and help him over his developmental hump. It didn't go over well with his care-givers. However, I was shocked to learn later that I had been accused of physically assaulting the care giver/nursery nurse. I would never do such a thing, and though I think these imaging time displays, can be manipulated, I would submit to anyone checking out my own unconsciousness or that of PF's.

I will say that, as usual, I was right. Yesterday, the boy (don't know his name) was brought in my proximity--yes, I can feel when my own children are present, even if I can't see. This paternal tenderness just rises up from within me, and goes outside myself. Anyway, PF told me to play the "toddler's tunes" station on the internet radio--a station I had tuned into once to make a point. They actually play some good music, although after three hours of listening to the likes of "This Old Man" and "Cookie Monste"r singalongs, I was pretty fried. However, I got the impression from PF, that it had worked, which I knew it would, because autistics (especially me), are highly responsive to music.

Now, it is very frustrating for an astrally crippled man like myself, to have hybrid children, and to only be able to see them at night in my dreams. I also have been dealing with other deeply emotional issues about the KaBal's interference in my family's life. As I mentioned before, wading through my own personal emotions is extremely difficult, with a much higher realization curve than usual for me, so I have been struggling to come to grips with facts, feelings, truths, etc, since I don't like to write anything down, until I am confident in my assessment.

However, it is clear to me that the dimensions of the interference and abuse that my extended family is greater that I had originally presumed, and I have been slogging through the miasma to get clarity and perspective on such issues as that I have a genetic hybrid daughter who was born in the 1980's, or that my sister was murdered, yes murdered, for her ova, and while clinically dead, was hooked into the unborn minds of her incubator-bred, multiple daughters. Good old MACHINE-RA--never a clue as to the overwhelming essential need of humans--soul contact. I have identified quite a few of my sister's children through Facebook, and it is clear to my perceptive eye that most have deep psychological pain, while some have been bred to be outright sex slaves.

Now, this is really horrific stuff, but I, always striving to be honest and fair, didn't want to just start spouting off, though I know that at least some Sirians have been involved in this genetic manipulation and harvesting. Ultimately, the fault lies with the reptiles, but every being is responsible for their choices, no matter the cause. I cannot clearly ascertain who or what to blame--except for the reptiles,MACHINE-RA, and from the human side, Nazis and high ranking CIA. I know that some Sirians have been involved, but I also know that the whole Mars genetic program is a complicated mess, with spies, double agents, traitors, disinformation, and counterintelligence operations abounding. So, I honestly cannot accurately lay charges or assess blame, NOR IS IT MY INTENTION TO DO SO.

My agenda is very narrowly focused right now. First, it is to do everything possible to upset this evil order of affairs, so that no human being suffers the depths of degradation and pain, as has my extended family has endured through this Mars project, EVER AGAIN. Once I believe that the imminent danger is ended (which it is not), then I will focus on my own personal healing, so that I can enter into the astral realm.

However, the question is, can this planet, Earth, and humanity, survive this imminent danger? I honestly don't know, since so much of it is beyond humanity's ability to address, without the help of the Sirian factions and peoples. I keep saying, and believe it with all my heart, that there is a win-win-win-win-win solution for all parties involved, including humanity, myself, my genetic hybrid children, and my personal, immediate family, my babies and my wife (yeah, I think we married in the astral realm, and if we didn't, it will happen. I was raised to believe that a man marries the woman who carries his child).

Still, I have deep fears--personally, I have been attacked by large dogs--I stared them down, and have vehicles accelerating at me as I take my daily walks up and down the alley block. I am no chicken shit, but I am too scared to even ride my bike. I fear for my children--they were kidnapped within 24 hours of being born, and worrying about them and rescuing them was extremely anxiety provoking.

They are miracle children, and I will be the first to admit that. The whole reason that these genetic experiments are in place, is because that Sirians cannot reproduce their own kind, so they depend on human hybrids to replenish their their own race. However, what PF and I proved was THAT IT IS POSSIBLE to reproduce a healthy child, with all the intact DNA and requisite soul, even if the biological support structure isn't there.

I have watched sci-fi shows, and seen scenes showing the kind of energetic, spiritual sex in which PF and I have engaged. That idea had to come from somewhere, although it wasn't on my mind the first time I did it. I was just engaged in telepathic discourse, and passionate human nature being what is is, it moved on to intercourse. Furthermore, everything that I know about the Pleiadians is that they are humanoids from our future, and from what I understand, they are capable of reproducing their own kind--though they may suffer from gene pool bottlenecks and stagnation. So what happened to the Sirians is an evolutionary anomaly that is going to become an evolutionary dead end, if they don't move past it. But PF and I HAVE THE KEY. Somehow, we did it. I am not exactly sure how it happened myself, but I know the answer is in my own unconsciousness, which I can't access, because I am constantly putting out fires to save human life, including my own, just in the short term.

I fear that some Sirian individuals and/or sets are completely misguided as how to advance their own best interests. You know, PF, being who she is, did not entrap me, into having four babies in one night. Whether she knew it or not, she asked permission, and I gave it, because, in retrospect, I know when it happened. I was just flipping through TV channels, looking for something to divert my attention, when I saw that "Dr. Strangelove" was on. Of course, that is a hilarious classic that has me in stitches all the way through, so I decided to watch a little bit of it. I found myself laughing hysterically when the mind-controlled KaBal puppet is talking to the earnest, solid-as-a-rock, British major. However the puppet knew what he was talking about--fluoride in the water being the biggest Commie plot in the country, etc. However, it was when he started talking about "Purity of Essence" that I couldn't stop laughing. Basically, he was saying that there is such a thing as purity of essence which is communicated in sexual activity, and that he had discovered his purity of essence, but he made sure that he kept it to himself.

Now the reason this dialogue is so interesting, is that it is corroborated by the X-Files plotline, in which the KaBal is engaged in experiments with "purity" and "purity control". I think that many Sirians believe that "purity of essence" refers to bloodline and DNA, and maybe bloodline is half of the equation, but I submit to you that the other half of that equation, essence, is soul--PURITY OF SOUL.

You can have the most beautiful, perfect bloodline/DNA in the world, but if your soul is rotten, because you have engaged in selfish harvesting of other sentient beings,or mind-control and mental abuse of test and genetic subjects, or if you do harm to others or the the living Mother Earth, then you will never create life. As scripture teaches us, God creates from love, and that is how we humans share in the creative process, as well.

I think some Sirians think, that all they have to do, is kidnap my children--specifically the four that PF and I created through our spiritual/sexual union of love, and they will have the secret to Purity of Essence, and the ability to reproduce again. They won't. The secret is within PF and I, and while I think both of us want to share, we both have been so abused and traumatized, that our purity of soul would not allow the depths of the unconscious to give it up no matter how much torture the KaBal might put on us. If my children, or my planet die, all you do is kill the goose that lays the golden egg, because I will be too disheartened to keep pursuing and unraveling the holy, great mystery which has gripped PF and I, so that I can share it with others.

I WANT to share it with others. As I first began to meet some of my genetic, hybrid children, I feared that they would not be able to bear children, and being a big fan of life and the creative process, I wished I could give them that gift. The gift is there--the package just needs to be open and passed around, and I am an innately generous person, but certain parties keep grabbing for the gift, and trying to possess and hide and own it, and hindering our (PF and I) ability to open it. Trust me, I know what I am talking about--don't the results bear me out?

Now, my head is pounding again, and I am getting really sick, so even though I need to post more, that is all for now.

Saturday, February 25, 2012

The rabbit hole

The rabbit hole goes so deep into the KaBal's abuse, suffering, and trauma of my family, I am just overwhelmed. It is incredible to me to look back on my difficult childhood and youth, and think about how sorry I felt for myself for so long. While my sister and nieces were being abused as sex slaves, I was hiking in the hills of Appalachia or Colorado. Life may have been difficult, but I had an out, at least, until the abuse started to hit close to home to me. Little by little, I am going to start to discreetly revealing in broadstrokes what my extended family has endured, but not tonight.

I am once again very sick with nausea and migraines. I do not know if I am on psychotropics, but once again, I am experiencing a semi-psychotic state, in which I cannot bear to watch television, because my vision feels like moving images are jumping from the screen at me.

I am not going to complain, however. The degree of suffering I have witnessed from photo stills of my abused sisters (occult births are overwhelmingly female), has left me ashamed of my own rage and complaints. To be honest, NO ONE should have to go through what I, or my hidden family, has endured, and I am grateful that at least, my psyche and ego was strong and unfractured enough that I could give voice to the injustice I have endured. Lucky me--I didn't have Nazis using sophisticated, barbaric mind control techniques from my fetal stage.

However, I might not complain, but don't worry, I intend to get my revenge, and right wrongs, and make sure no one else suffers the pain and abuse that I have encountered from a cursory exploration of my extended family EVER AGAIN. I don't care how much I suffer--PAGARON!

I always tell people that as long as I am cursing and raging, I am not really angry--just emoting. When I am really, even dangerously angry, is when I go quiet, and I have decided it is time to go silent--at least as far as my personal pain is concerned. I am not going to verbally rage any more, though I do hope to be well enough soon to start troweling away at the rabbit hole, which apparently goes all the way to the stench-filled pit of hell, and reaches out into the far reaches of outer space. However, writing is going to be a secondary consideration for right now. When I go quiet, other concerns are paramount.

Still, I hope to reach out to those who genuinely wish me well, and so I will say that if I am on any kind of psychotropic drug, it is having a countering effect--I am becoming semi-psychotic. If it is just the implants that is responsible, I have to insist most stridently that I am in desperate need of testosterone, which I cannot buy without the Amon-RA faction getting involved. I think that most of the nutritional supplements industry has been penetrated by KaBal companies and fronts, who are putting in viral agents. I recognize that I am suffering from cluster headaches, and I read that low T is considered a major culprit. For what it is worth.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Finally, a heavy sense of oppression has lifted

Finally, a heavy sense of oppression has lifted. I haven't felt like myself, since the trip into the "maw of the Beast" began. I think I signaled a desire for change in alien faction affiliation, back to the (more-positive) dog Sirians, but the truth is, that I really don't know what I am doing. My unconscious guides me, and so it guided me to change the desktop image on my computer, and then I started noticing changes, such as people moving from "Psychic West Apartments", etc.

I do know that consciously I have been miserable for the past several days, and was a little surprised to learn that Faction 2 was "claiming" me. A few posts back, I wrote of the dream I had, where I could "not take my money". Well, when I arrived at the Martian airport, I threw away all the food my mother had given me (didn't trust it not to have sophisticated explosives, with which the KaBal could use to blackmail me), AND I followed my wallet like a hawk. Now normally, I am absent-minded and careless about those details, but after the dream, I was on high alert, and so I zipped up my wallet, carefully into my backpack, and honed in on it, as soon as I cleared the TSA machine. It was gone! I didn't panic. I figured that if the KaBal wanted to coerce me into service, they could plant anything on me, anyway, BUT I WAS NOT GOING TO BACK DOWN FROM EXERCISE OF MY FREE WILL!

So immediately, but calmly, I confronted the TSA officers, and asked how did I put in a claim, in order to get my ID and cash back. After a few minutes, they "found" the wallet, "laying on the floor". Did I stress? No, I fully expected something like this to happen, but after this little episode, I thought that I was "safe"--except that I wasn't.

I arrived "home", but still felt profoundly unsettled and uncomfortable. Now, I know that part of that is my own emotional roller coaster ride. You know, I can penetrate facts and data with razor sharp accuracy, but get my personal emotions involved, and my accuracy of perception zig zags all over the place, until, once again, I find equilibrium.

Well, my emotions are certainly stirred up now, and while they do make me feel more alive and centered at the same time, they also are creating a lot of confusion--because the various factions have figured out that they can motivate and "play" me with my own romantic and sexual feelings for PF. I don't think PF is a player; I just think she is trying to get me to commit to the astral realm, but ever since I engaged in "psychic sex", with some being pretending to be her, I have been wary and paranoid. I am reminded of the mystic from "The Green Mile", executed for trying to save the lives of two murdered girls. He was lonely and lost in the world, which had no place for a gentle, good mystic--especially, when he was a huge Black man with massively, bulging muscles, and he had psychically "read" the act of murder, and how the girls were lured to their death, by the perp playing one off against the other. "That is the way it is all over the world. They use your love to kill you", and so it is. However, the only surefire way to avoid that fate, is to not love, but I have seen what that does, and it is even worse. The Catholic Church and so much of their hierarchy have shut themselves off from love, and it has turned them into satanic monsters and pedophiles. Yet that is what the KaBal wishes for me--to deny my need to love, and be loved, to become alienated and paranoid from love, so that I become the celibate fantasy icon their immature, childish devotees so need.

I am not exaggerating. Remember I spent six months in jail for sending flowers to a woman. Every relationship, even the most casual, or non sexual, has been terminated. Even now, while PF is a neighbor, I have been telepathically told, not to attempt to directly relate to her (the other psychics around me will talk to me--but they can't give up their prime control hold card). Of course, the worst violation in recent memory, was the "psychic sex" incident in which I went actually into reptilian interdimensional space (that in itself, took a lot of emotional energy to figure out--I am being honest--figuring out what is happening to me, emotionally, is the most draining, time-consuming, and unsatisfactory use of my intellectual resources, PERIOD. It takes forever, to figure things out, and make sure that I am not wrong, as I was in the last post, when I stridently claimed that another psychic was trying to access my mind, by pretending to be PF.

To be fair, I have reason to myself, I have reason for concern, as borne out by last night's dream. In my dream, good ole Faction 2 doctors tried to play the "sex card" again. First of all, I dreamed that I was told that at some point my genetic lineage indicated that I had genes of an 11 foot high Triceratops. I found that interesting, but it was what they did after that, which left me completely cold, angry, and alienated. First, they attempted to get a sexual response from me, using a vaginal probe, which was extremely painful and hateful (remember I have no nerves in my inner labia now--any kind of sexual penetration is painful and dry). So then the doctor put a probe in my anus, which was more pleasurable, but which infuriated me, because I realized that, once again, the KaBalistic control freaks, were trying to get a data imprint record of my brain wave response to pleasurable and painful stimuli, so that they could try their bullshit ersatz, psychic sexual encounter again.

Now, let me say, that I only engage in occasional psychic sex acts with PF--first of all, there is no orgasm, especially since the most recent vaginal mutilation, which has left my vagina practically unresponsive. Believe it or not, I am most responsive in my belly, where my phantom penis is. So, instead, I mostly just talk to her telepathically, though she responds a lot, "I can't tell you". As a matter of fact, I have figured out that mostly, she can only mirror back to me what I already "know" (not 100% accurate) in my own unconsciousness. Now, we 3D humans have all but cut ourselves off from our unconsciousness, but me, with my unusually strong imagination, and appreciation of Jung, have always had a much higher connection to my unconscious than most, but I am not a high performance telepath, and I can misread my unconscious depths--especially when I am emotionally involved on a personal level.

I do know this, however--the faction that was doing the sex probes, was attempting to gather data to deceive and control me even further. You see, that is the way the KaBal works. For them, love is a weapon to be subverted for use to serve "the Company" (for this particular faction, I do believe was the CIA Faction 2 group). With their technology, they can pattern my brain waves, and then attempt to fool me. It doesn't work--they already tried it once, and I don't think that I would fall for it again, but to them, it is worth it, for they cannot bear that I be free to choose my own self-identity, and the woman I love.

I have to say that I honestly had no idea what was going on, until today, when I was completely alienated by the sexual abuse from last night. I did not know that I was still being considered for some kind of CIA recruitment. I am not sure if I am even on planet Earth, or if I am in some sophisticated holodeck on a starship (I am 99% sure that I was on Mars when I went to CA--and I still may be on Mars). I have realized so many things, that I haven't been writing about, but I cannot write, when I am an emotional wreck--and I HAVE BEEN AN EMOTIONAL WRECK. It is amazing, but actually when I am most high strung, is when PF's attempts to reach me through some kind of telepathic sex, are the most helpful in centering me. However, take it from me, telepathic sex is still very frustrating--I won't say that it is not tactile, because I can literally feel her spirit, but still, there is a lack. This is compounded by my own sexual difficulties caused by the castration/mutilation, and the psychological difficulties wondering how many remote viewers are tuned in. I think there is some pathetic boy who is constantly trying to get his "peep on". I keep telling him that he needs to date a strong Black woman (I am not being racist--I honestly think that would be best for him--he is not a racist at all--just lost in white boy fantasy), and get real regarding life and sex, but I think he is completely hooked by the KaBal, and unable to love in reality, but only in his fantasy imagination, as ordained by MACHINE-RA.

I am capable of love, but am constrained by the limitations on love, placed upon me by circumstance, and, like every other slave, fear that I will never be allowed to love freely and fully. However, the alternative--not to love at all, is unbearable. So, as you can see, I am in a mess, and without an innate skill set to navigate through it all, so I suspect that life is going to be a little bit crazy for a while, and must apologize, because I fear this topsy-turvey craziness is going to reveal itself in my posts--assuming that my writing is being read outside of Langley, VA. Now, believe it or not, this is not even HALF of the emotional storm which has rocked my world in the past few days. Now, that I feel better, maybe tomorrow, I will write some more about it.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

So fucked up on psychotropics

So fucked up on psychotropics that I am going out of my fucking mind. Want to rage, curse, throw things, yell at the top of my lungs against the spider parasite set, "Black Cat" (vampire?) faction, the goddamned Opus Dei Faction 3 (they must be planning something--their (hard core) racist white boy, Sean Hannity has been gone for two days, and that is rare, and the stupidass, motherfucking freemasons and Nazis (hope they are a little weaker, but can't be sure), are all making my life sheer hell with all the implants and drugs.

All I can do is hold on, and smoke the occasional cigarette. Apparently, I agreed to this set up, since all the above factions are so goddamned stupid that they actually think they can apply enough pressure, pain and suffering to get me to change my mind and serve their evil, hating asses. Well, I have been duped by the MACHINE and reptiles many times, but it is over now---I just have to hold on until the upcoming fracas clears up. That could be an entire month away. In the meantime, I am so nauseated, and suffer from severe headaches, while my body disappears into one of the goddamned Faction 3 girl-vampire looks.

I think I know what is going on--but there has been so much emotional information overload, I have not wanted to write about it. Maybe tomorrow. Now I have to try to sleep with this fucking drug making me fucking crazy.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Another full-blown day of hell

Another full-blown day of hell--the drugs I am, are compounding the reptilian implants in my brain--both the Amon-RA spider parasite that has me in excruciating headache pain, barely able to tolerate light, and the neuro-chemical sippy cup, attached to my sacrum.

I am in the space that is my recognizable home, but I am still in another dimension, which I suppose I asked for, since the solar storms ravaging the Earth are too much for me to handle right now. There are a lot of thoughts/ideas going through my head about time/temporal mechanics/timelines, but I am too sick to either think things through, or write down anything much at all. Even as I type this, my eyes are mostly shut. Right now, there is a good program on RMN radio--sponsored by Creation Lightship, which probably has the best insights regarding temporal quanta. However, I can't access the radio program--I deliberately am prohibited by the Faction 2 contingent, which are the ones now monitoring my every move, and planting web stories on the web, as I access it. Thank God, there doesn't seem to be anything going on, that requires perceptive discernment and interpretation of current events.

I just will do the best that I can to survive, in the miserable, testosterone-deprived, and semi=psychotic state that the the damned psychotropics and reptilian implants have put me in.

The worst part is having the fucking Faction 2 psychic, constantly accessing my mind and attempting to prostitute my emotions, via their manipulation of my own recorded brain waves. The goddamned stupidasses actually think they can manipulate me into a state of love and trust, by pushing an ersatz sexual arousal and brain waves. The sense of violation is incredible--I feel like a fucking lab rat with electrodes all over me. What the KaBal never gets is that, genuine humanity needs love as a motivation. They have been trained to totally discount the soulful aspects of love--the MACHINE can't quantify it, and the reptiles can't perceive it, so for them, it has no function. So, they measure the somatic data that flows from an act of love, whether sexual or not, quantify it, then feed it back into a loop, to try to trick humanity into entering the blissful state of love, which they then can manipulate.

I will give it to the hateful bastards--they are good, and I took a few tentative nibbles to ascertain if perhaps, PF was the psychic close to me, for certainly they can mimic her energetic love making and pattern my own responses to her with near precision. But the soul, the spirit, is missing. There is no creativity, no tenderness, just the same old feedback loop repeating itself over and over.

On my part, I have great difficulty in responding to this kind of sexual advances--at first I thought it was because my erogenous zones have been completely excised, but was wrong. The truth is that I am just too much present to reality to fall for a virtual reality lie, no matter how sex-starved and horny I may be. Thank God, I never watch pornography--if I were in a state where my own imagination tricked myself into virtual reality satisfaction, I would be much more vulnerable to the tricks of MACHINE-RA.

The psychic has made several mistakes that reveal that there is no love behind any of the psychic activity--only cold and calculated mind control and violation. The most telling was when, tired of trying to force myself to respond to a sexual advance, I psychically said, " just hold me and let me sleep". The psychic replied, "I am not your mother". LOL. Now what this statement really confirms is what I emphasized in the last post--that these people feeding from the occult trough, are childish, and even infantile, in their emotional lives and psychology. They are not looking for a relationship between strong equals. They are children, feeding off the MACHINE fantasy-tit, looking for some girl-childish mommy to provide the spiritual porn iconographic image that makes them feel good doing so. To them, the only love they respect and honor is that of the bond between the co-dependent mother, and infantile child, which is why they have done everything they possibly can, to destroy my personal manhood, and human sovereignty, and adult sexuality.

Between the latest castration of my genitalia, and all the implants and drugs in my system, they really have me reeling, but no matter what, I will hold on to my soul, my spirit--no matter how sick, no matter how violated--and that is something they cannot address or manipulate--for that is a gift from God, not a measurable program that they can manipulate or own. Had they gotten their evil paws on me when I was younger, and not in such strong awareness of, and relationship to my soul, they might have succeeded, but, as long as I cleave to the grace of God, they cannot corrupt my soul now.

So that is my only prayer and hope right now, as I endure this miserable hell of bodily suffering and mental torment. Thank you God, for making me a free human being, and giving me the grace to boldly live and affirm your gifts. Keep me strong. I will be okay--just gotta hold on.

Coming back to my spot

Coming back to my spot (I don't have a home, except wherever I lay my head) on Earth, feels like I have returned from a funeral. There is a big, huge empty hole where PF used to talk to me--even if I did spend the first six months steadfastly ignoring and raging at her. Now, that she is gone, I know how much I miss her. My trust level is at fucking zero--though kudos to the Black psychics for at least attempting to try to protect me.

It was a miserable ride home. I am some kind of fucking drug--probably THE SAME FUCKING GODDAMNED LITHIUM THE PIECES OF SHIT KEEP FORCING DOWN MY FUCKING THROAT, and it totally has alienated me from reality, though I wonder how much of my loss of all emotional energy and affect is related to my genital mutlation, and loss of nearly all sexual sensation. Anyway, I know I am on drugs, and I know it is FUCKING GODDAMNED FACTION 2, WHO IS FORCING IT DOWN ME, because some Asian was sitting across from me on the flight from CA. Dammit, if very soon, I am not going to despise these Asian occultists with the same contempt I have for White Nazis (saw some of them too).

What the fuck do I have to do, you fucking goddamned faction 2 pigs, to get you the fuck out of my life? You don't fucking get it. I FUCKING DESPISE YOU AND EVERY FUCKING THING YOU STAND FOR. TAKE YOUR GODDAMNED DRUGS AND SHOVE UP YOUR GODDAMNED "CHINK IN YOUR ARMOR." Fire me, goddamned it--whatever the fuck you think I have to offer you, you are fucking wrong. While you are at it, get rid of this fucking Amon-RA spider that is giving me sick headaches and causing severe vision problems.

Anyway, if it wasn't three in the morning, I would be screaming this, while I wait for the vicodin to slow my CNS enough to stop the brain rushes, so that can get to sleep---I got some stupidass psychic trying to get my attention, WELL I AIN'T FUCKING INTERESTED.

No, I won't sell out, or quit. It is not my nature, but I will not open up again, until I am in the company of PF. I am sick and goddamned tired of being jerked around by psychics, and I refuse to respond to that shit, anymore...

Sunday, February 19, 2012

On the heels of the previous post

On the heels of the previous post...I think I have identified the man I call "doppelganger". I have seen him before--it was in the waiting room where I "healed" the disabled girl. Doppelganger (DG) was in the waiting room with me, and was vaguely familiar. I know now that he actually was very familiar. He looked like a gnome, with a short, misshapen body and a microcephalic head, but he was highly observant and clearly very intelligent. My brief observation and intuition also informed me that he was a miserable, stunted, and even hateful soul, blighted by his obvious deformities, (and no doubt), the abuse that he had endured at the hands of the KaBal. I remember his surprise when I showed compassion towards the little girl, and he tried to imitate, but he came across as creepy.

Now, two items I wish to bring up. First of all, St. Paul the Apostle had the exact same description--short, gnomish, bald, and strange looking. So, by the way, did a Renaissance painter (Raphael?), who, if you probe his history, you learn that he was actually an alien gnome, sour of temper, but with incredible giftedness for painting. Name the skill, and the MACHINE can grant it to you within seconds--it just does a download in the sleep. I also think St. Paul was intersexed--with a micropenis, which I think was the result of his being gay (not all men with that condition are gay, but I think he was). Even more importantly, it contributed to a crushing sense of inferiority in a culture in which a man's status in the community was a result of his fertility, and even the scriptures comment on the inferior status of a man with less than whole genitalia. He ended up overcompensating, and clinging to his faith to the point of killing those who would deviate from a strict interpretation of the Law.

Now, the reason I bring up St. Paul is that years ago, when I was in my early 20's, I had a dream in which it seem to explicitly state that I was St. Paul, reincarnated. Now I am reconsidering the dream and what it meant, but for right now, take this statement at face value. Certainly the anger and alienation I have felt from my own intersexed condition, and my self-hating gay sexuality, along with numerous other factors seems to parallel that of Paul.

However, at some point, my dreams began to point me towards a self-understanding of being "Sananda" or Jesus, but it was clear to me that this was all lies, for at this point, I clearly recognized the intervening dream implants by MACHINE-RA.

So, here is what I am wondering--what if we do not reincarnate at all, or even if we do, our reincarnation memories are manipulated and tampered by the MACHINE? I clearly have downloaded several memory archetypes that are not me at all, such as Therese of Liseux. What if, after my initial conversion, MACHINE-RA decided I would make a great St. Paul and put those memories in me (oh, and by the way, I like St. Paul, but unlike many Protestants, I do not venerate him). However, after discovering my full genetic makeup, what if it "upgraded" my reincarnation status to "Jesus", in which case a new "Paul" had to be found.

You see, I am very close to declaring St. Paul a complete, if innocent and non-malicious, dupe of the MACHINE. Once Jesus made it clear that his allegiance was to almighty God, and not the MACHINE, the devotees of RA HAD to undermine the purity and truth of Jesus' message AND make it palatable as a world religion in order to become an effective tool of mass mind control, which the gospel, by itself, would never do.

I think Paul had a genuine conversion, but I really am beginning to believe if he was duped. Now, imagine my surprise when I see a pre-conversion Paul-like figure, when the MACHINE is setting me up to do a "miraculous" healing. Once my "Jesus" is martyred and "ascended" (i.e. plugged into the MACHINE), the miserable wretch I saw, has a conversion experience, and makes my teachings conform to the childishly dependent of the mind control..,

I am just speculating, of course, but this I can tell you for sure. I know who that Paul-like figure was. He was a "son" of Don Chumley, a childhood friend of my father's--indeed a next door neighbor. I know because he looked the spitting image of Don's son, whom I visited with a couple of years ago. Now a couple of things about Don was that he did not fit into his family at all. They were typical Scotch Irish fair, and Don was very, very dark-skinned and abnormally short and hairy. He also went blind when he was about 10 years old, when the government sent him away to an institution to learn braille. The other amazing characteristic about Don is that, despite his handicaps, he was a genius--from the back hollers of WV!. Seriously, he was involved with computers and programming WAY ahead of the curve, working for the state department for the blind. Now the question I ask is, "who was Don's genetic parents?" It clearly was not his "family". The second question I would ask is, "were his deformities deliberately inflicted as part of a genetic experiement? Finally I would ask if my grandfather's clan were targeted by the KaBal as early as the late 1930's or 1940's? Was a doppelganger created to mirror my father (I cannot fathom my grandfather engaging in extramarital affairs). Did this genetic manipulation extend to the local circle of friends?

These will be questions I will be asking myself in the next few days, but what I am getting at is that I think I am hooked to that doppelganger somehow, someway, whether through an implant in my brain, or through genetic connection--I think that may be the source of a lot of spontaneous, if unspoken, verbal ejaculation and emotional resistance to reality that gets me into a lot of trouble.

I will not play the martyr--if a gnome like doppelganger is connected to me--and my intuition is telling me that he is--I will pull him up. But I will not "PLAY" Jesus, and I will not let a "PAUL", however well-intentioned, hijack my thoughts, words and beliefs.

Again, I have a lot of work cut out for me, but instead I am heading deeper into the maw of the Beast. Last night, I was force fed drugs that made me sick so rapidly that I had to leave the restaurant. Then, later, I dreamed of the MACHINE trying desperately to get me to orgasm with it, while I slept (don't forget, the KaBal now has my sexual arousal brain waves). Life could get very difficult for the next month or so. All I ask is that, if I seem to go over the "Dark Side", don't give up on me. I will be back, a free man, or I will be dead--but I will NOT contribute to the mind control mess that MACHINE-RA has forced on this world.

Doing the math

Doing the math--and uncovering all kinds of secret info in the process. I am killing time on this Sunday, as I wait for time to pass, so I can be on my way to my next destination. I am in severe pain, so there is not much I can do, so I started doing math in my head.

First of all, 2012 and the Vatican. The recent addition of 22 cardinals to the college of red hats, indicates that the KaBal bishops (you know, F3--the ones making my life hell), feel comfortable enough with the numbers to get rid of Ratzinger's clone, and place a new bishop on the throne. This bishop is to be the final bishop, and I think I know who is the lucky guy--Archbishop Dolan, newly elected cardinal. Of course, he is a KaBalist, but of the luciferian, MACHINE-RA type, not the hard core satanist, reptilian type as was Ratzinger (he may already be dead, but maybe His Malevolence is somewhere trying to augment the dominion of Draco, and contributing to my misery.

Anyway, what Dolan has going for him, is that he seems like a genial, charismatic, likable guy. I am sure that he knows the fate of Peter the Roman, and the city of Rome, as foreordained by the KaBal to which he belongs, but some people will do anything to get into the history books. No doubt, they will play him as some great saint, and maybe he has even been told that he won't die, but a great UFO from the sky will swoop down and save him at the last minute, so he can go to "Ascenscion" (ha ha--slavery in exile, used to lure bait for the reptiles, UNTIL the reptiles turn on them). I don't stress too much about the Vatican--the institution is doomed; however for Catholics and citizens of Rome, the above post is for you--best wishes in altering the outcome--and I mean it. I would rather see the institution peter out and collapse of its own dead weight in due time, than blow up in a nuclear blast, killing millions of innocents.

So, now on to more personal math--my turbo-charged twin sisters, born of the occult, probably on Mars. With a little bit of help, I have figured out their birthdates, and can make the math work. My dad entered the service when he was 17, and got out when he was 20 (he told us kids the age that he entered--it may even have been 16, and that he did a 3 year stint). So, at the latest, he got out of the service in 1958, which makes sense, because on my birth certificate, both my parents have their ages listed as 24, which makes their birthdate, 1938.

After the service, my father made his way to San Francisco, where he met my mother, who was attending a special International school for foreign students. So, here is where the plot gets thicker. My dad DID agree to work for the KaBal, while in the service. Maybe he bargained for an early discharge, or perhaps, just an honorable one (by his own account, my dad was a hellraiser in the service). However, the KaBal's plans for genetic experimentation were already in motion, and he had agreed, at least, to what little they had told him. They probably told him to date and marry someone from the International school, WHICH WAS A CIA RECRUITING PROGRAM, as were so many international programs at the time. No doubt, they drew my mother's blood and typed her DNA, and mom and dad were set up. Back in the good old days, the genetic experimentation allowed for personal preferences, and so it was a natural courtship and marriage. However, the birth of my eldest twin sisters was not. I do not know if they were born here on Earth, or if they were removed from the womb and transplanted to Mars. However, in either case, my parents knew what was going on, and I think they may have been dismayed by the loss of their first borns, so they moved on. Whether they hooked up with another faction, or if they were just led to another occult hot spot, Detroit, I do not know, but the occult powers on Mars were impressed enough with my older sisters (probably born in 1960, that they advanced the experiments further. I am suspecting that I have yet another birth sibling, born later in 1961, who is more like the "doppelganger" or "shadow" of the family heritage, and especially me, but I just throw that out there--I need to think on it some more. Then, came my twin sister and myself--deliberately separated in the womb and reared in different environments, and my natural male identity was corrupted to fit the profile of a reptile, hermaphroditic queen.

My sister was born later than I. Remember, a couple of posts ago, I wondered how a developing fetus in the womb, was able to receive the emotional support and nurturing necessary to thrive, and postulated that somehow, the DNA genetic connections, between mother and child, even across cosmic expanse was necessary for this? Well, the math confirms this hypothesis.

PF had to have been removed from the womb from between 2-3 months. She would have needed to be viable enough to survive in some high-tech incubator, but the removal would have had to happen before I got the dose of testosterone that would begin the process of turning me from a generic embryo, to a developing male fetus. The date for the onset of testosterone in the womb is between 2-3 months. If you split it right down the middle, and postulate that we were conceived in the third week of Oct, 10 weeks later, would be around the first week of February, but after PF was removed from the womb, she was put in stasis. Why? Because a child does need that connection with the mother, even if they are millions of miles away, and my mother would have been completely focused on me, because I was the living, kicking being that she felt every single day--the fetus, millions of miles away would have felt left out. However, after my birth in late July, the fetus, PF would have been removed from stasis and allowed to develop. At that point, my mother would have been full of warm and fuzzy feelings towards her newborn, but not so exclusively focused on me, as she would have been in the womb.

So I counted the weeks from my birth date to my dream inspired insight of PF's birth date on 2/3, and what I discovered was that it was exactly a 6 1/2 month difference. When I add the 2 1/2 month stint that we spent in the womb together, I come up with 9 months. Voila. Of course, the other option is that the technology for this kind of birth did not yet exist on Mars, and that my mom might have been implanted again, after my birth. Somehow though, I don't think so. These genetic scientists were trying hard to form "alienated", not quite human children, and the experience in the maternal womb is what separates the soul from any previous memory archetypes or incarnations. Instead, a normal child becomes completely attuned to the mother's world and sense impressions, while incubated babies, are able less able to separate from the cosmic ether and history, so to speak.

No matter what, my parents were/are more implicated in the whole occult program than I previously believed. I still think that some point, my Dad got us the hell away from that evil influence, but you just don't escape a program like that, and we Terran siblings have been tracked every step of the way. Therefore, as I have said before, it is a blessing in disguise, that my autism made me so neurotic, that I was able to pass under the radar for most of my early life, but then again, maybe not.

PF seems to have been immersed in evil from her earliest years, and yet somehow she broke free, but she is a female with feminine gifts of resiliency and flexibility, and thus able to bounce back from the horror and humiliation of slavery much better than I, a male, with a man's more vulnerable and insecure psyche and ego, can.

Is it the fact that she has broken free of her programming, while my twin sisters have not, the reason behind their betrayal of us? Or do they just live in a little emotionally symbiotic cocoon, forced on them from their earliest impressions by their unnatural birth. Twins DO have a profoundly intense and special bond between them, and while PF was groomed to be a slave, the twins may have been the "iconic ideal fantasy feminine", "celibate" (depending on your definition), brides of MACHINE-RA. This, of course, would be the exact experience which Isis endured for years-- virtual reality lover to a MACHINE-RA, in order to alleviate the suffering of Egyptian humanity, the circuits of which enjoyed the sensation of suffering human beings--and kept IT's allies, the reptiles, thrilled. Isis knew, and constantly mourned that she was separated from her husband, and the real experience of love and sex, but it is possible that an immature childish, but loving, bond between the twins keeps the
twins from realizing the full horror of their slavery, and the ramifications of their compliant slavery to the MACHINE.

Wow, there is so much evil I am personally enmeshed in, and all I try to do is survive, but humanity will never be free until the Gordion knot of my family's victimization by the occult is undone.

Another hell night

Another hell night--my body is constantly cut on and mutilated at night, so that I am in constant pain and discomfort from the chopped off arms. I could be glad that I am "out of here" today, but it doesn't matter. I am sure it will continue wherever I go. I am back to thinking that Faction 3 is involved in my present predicament--allied, of course, with Faction 2.

They still are doing the same old shit, trying to turn me into their Jerusalem avatar/hermaphroditic queen--a mind control guru for the new, post-2012 eon. As a matter of fact, that is what nearly every one wants from me--to be a "Messiah" that they can use and manipulate, to either further their own agenda, or avoid the hard work of freedom, individuation, and development of personal sovereignty, to which every man and woman is called, and of which they are capable of attaining.

So now, they are encouraging me to see myself as a reincarnation of "Jesus". There is a big problem with that--insofar as I believe in reincarnation, I am nearly certain that I would be the Apostle Paul, which would be a conflicting time frame. Everything fits with Paul--a self-hating gay man, a brilliant writer, a misogynist (don't think that I am suffering from this female body without major bad karma--I think I have a LONG history of patriarchal disdain for the feminine). Nor do I forget how the KaBal spent years trying to get me to believe that I was "Sananda".

I think it is true that I fulfill some prerequisites that would make me a singular prophetic figure. I think I carry the genes of all 12 tribes of Israel. I think that I am possess gifts and skills--in the astral realm--that prefigure a new, evolved humanity. However, I reject the Jesus scenario--not only is it too radical for me to believe, I think that any supporting data in my head or imagination has been placed there by the MACHINE.

Faction 3 especially, wants a mind control guru that they can use to extend their power for another 26, 000 years--this time, like Faction 2, they want a female, because they know that the new eon is going to see a flushing rise of the power and appeal of the feminine. From my perspective, the key is to balance that appeal, so we don't get a one-sided, domination/subjugation paradigm as patriarchy has been.

Personally, I think the whole scenario that I am a reincarnated Jesus is a lie--a deeply sophisticated lie perpetuated by Faction 2/3, so that they can get their hermaphrodite reptilian queen on the throne of Jerusalem. But, get this? They did the exact same thing to the historical Jesus! They set him up with gifts of "healing", much as in the same way, the MACHINE manipulated that severely disabled girl with the messed up urinary tract, to make it look like I "healed" her.

I DON'T PLAY THE MACHINE'S GAMES, GODDAMN IT, and neither did Jesus. As a matter of fact, the way I read the gospels, Jesus was condemned to execution, when he refused to become a king. Yes, the MACHINE got every body excited about the healing he was doing, and while some of it may have been indirectly attributable to him--there are people who have the capacity to act as a medium for holy healing energies--the MACHINE pumped it up--just like they did with that severely disabled girl whom I encountered in the hospital over a year ago. Jesus, like me, was a shrewdly intelligent man. He knew that it wasn't God, the "Father", who wanted to make him king, but powers of evil. He declined, and rightly so--he had too much integrity, and too much genuine spirituality.

Now, I know that Faction 2 is quite convinced that Jesus did not die on the Cross, but I disagree, though I do not have time to go into details right now. I think much of what we know of Jesus is distorted and inaccurate, but I also believe THAT THE MACHINE LIES, TOO!!

Now, I could be wrong about this, and I am not in a place where I can do any research with confidence--I'm so fucked up with pain, I can barely move. However, I know this with absolute certitude--when the gospel of John says Jesus left the crowds, because they wanted to make him, "king", they were right on. I know that PF believes the Faction 2 story, from a statement she made via telepathic communication with me. She knows so much more than I do about the real history of the world, but I think that she is wrong on this one. ''

I could present a better case, but I am in too much pain--literally hurts to type. I just like to keep the WWW informed of what is happening to me, in my limbo hell.

Saturday, February 18, 2012

This astral realm business,

This astral realm business, baby, it ain't beans. I figured out what the "evil spirit" I have been feeling is--it is some "go-daddy reptile", all beaming proud to be sucking out the vitality and energy of a human hermaphrodite queen. I've got proof--not only can I feel the repulsive thing latch on to my sacrum, leaving so blinded with headaches and barely able to move, but smoking a couple of cigarettes immediately alleviated the distress I was in. David Icke has written that some highly perceptive psychics can literally see reptiles clinging to the human sacrum, draining us of real energy, with a straw-like thingey. I can't see them, but I sure can feel them. I know now that the nurse who came, when I first felt the presence of the evil spirit, was responsible for implanting me with some kind of device that makes it easier for the reptile to get at me. Then they start manipulating my brain quanta with the data they collected from my genuine (if astral) encounter with PF, and they just sit back and feast on the chemicals released by my brain's sexual arousal.

How much more predatory and repulsive can you get? But I know now, that such has been the lot of humanity, ever since the Fall. It is just that the reptiles were picky about whom they chose. They liked those with "royal" or Sirian blood. The story of our quadrant of the universe is one of humiliating defeats, and betrayals. These alien "space brothers" haven't been uniformly wise and benevolent shepherds of humanity. They were looking to find a scapegoat to save their own skins, and we primate humans, with a little genetic tinkering did nicely. So the various factions of Sirians made alliances with various factions of reptiles, and thus we have Factions 1, 2, and 3.

Now, the great secret of the occult is that the initiated adepts know that the source of their power and knowledge comes from this alliance with the reptiles (I think a very few occultists like the Jewish Qabbalists may have access to the tradition of knowledge but not the alliances). By the time, the aspiring occultist reaches high levels of initiation, he is too heavily compromised to return to innocence. Sooner or later, the novice himself must submit to personal slavery by the reptiles, allowing the reptiles to feed from their sacrum, or even to "possess" their bodies as shape shifters. Reptiles enjoy the sensations of the third dimension, but they cannot experience it, except by taking possession of someone's body.

Now, the entire story of royalty, no matter the heritage or lineage, is one of dysfunction, anger, and even insanity. It all makes sense now, why history teaches us of how kings and queens throw tantrums and power fits. They were/are among the most powerless people on Earth. The peasant eating his tortillas and beans during the work week, and enjoying a six pack and barbecue on the weekends has it better than the high ranking slaves of the reptiles. I know, because I have felt it--reptilian possession and/or predatory feeding puts one in the foulest of moods. It messes with the brain chemicals and blood sugar, making one angry, and even raging--oh, and let's not forget about the hypersexuality.

Knowing this, it is amazing that there have true leaders found in the kings and queens of the world, but it just is testament to the resilience of the human spirit which is schooled in genuine morality. As the royal bloodlines dimmed in power with the advent of democratic government, the reptiles created an alternative line of "royalty" from which to feed--the Hollywood celebrity--and I would submit that it is not flashing light bulbs that cause the kind of self-centered mood swings and narcissistic behavior so prevalent among them, but rather, their suffering from the debilitating effects of the reptilian predation.

You see, in the end, it doesn't matter the means by which one becomes enslaved to the reptiles--whether by the spiders, the virus, the MACHINE, or by implants, whether by complete victimization (such as I have endured for years), or with some kind of acknowledged fealty to the demands of the reptilian and/or MACHINE-RA occult. The latter may give some one a degree of control over their suffering, which they often gladly accept, in return for power or riches or fame, but in the long run, slavery is a miserable condition, which any free and sovereign person would reject out of hand.

I may be free only in memory and aspiration, but I still claim my human birthright. Thus, I do not want anything to do with any of the factions. Apparently, I gave unconscious (astral) assent to Faction 2, in order to find safe haven from Earth, and now I am miserable. There is absolutely no cessation of the suffering I endure from the viral downloads, and being genitally and bodily mutilated at the hands of an alien faction really pisses me off, though not as much as some fucking numbskull idea of feeding my brain fantasies in order to feed off my sexual arousal.

I don't know why I consented to go to Faction 2--was this the only way I could continue to work in the astral realms? Is mind rape and violation less humiliating than the nightly anal rapes I was enduring? I don't know, but I can say this with absolute certitude. I am grateful for the dubious "sanctuary" offered, but incarceration might be more in keeping with my true state of affairs, because I will NEVER enter the astral realm of Faction 2. I already experienced it, and it is hateful and soul destroying--which is why all the F2/Templar people I have encountered have always creeped me out. They remind me of pedophiles---beings who have sold out their own manhood and womanhood, allowing themselves to be victimized, while they in turn, seek other innocent victims they can turn to prey, so as to relieve their own suffering. That is why they love it when I am the immature girl child in the astral realm. They cannot handle real women, because they themselves live in, and are motivated by, a fantasy world, which keeps them infantile...and neuro-chemically "cumming" right into the reptiles' mouths. Such a future is not for me, and I think I was duped in my sleep, and I think my twin sisters had something to do with that, for they were the ones who were shaking me down, telling me that I couldn't bring "money" to the astral realm. They are my immediate kin, and I feel something for them, but no, I do not want to share their fate. I have much more respect for, and affinity with PF, who has done so much of the hard work of individuation and her own human freedom. I am just worried that my own actions and choices may have placed her in danger. I know that she has spent years and decades of her life as a slave. I take full responsibility for my choices, but what if I really messed up her life--because she trusted in me? Heavy thoughts for a heavy heart and head.

Deception swirling all around me

Deception swirling all around me, but as usual, I feel the real consequences of the deception. I woke up this morning with my leg hair shaved off. WTf?????? I like my hairy legs, goddamned it. I AM A MAN, NOT A WOMAN, AND I WANT TO HAVE STRONG, MUSCULAR LEGS WITH LONG HAIR ON THEM!!!!

I think I am beginning to get the knack of what is happening, though. I may be on a large alien starship (or at the very least, Mars), in an elaborate virtual reality hoax/hologram in which alien factions try to determine what is my true future. I think they actually are going a little beyond that, and attempting to "lead the horse" to the water that they want me to drink--and God knows, I am always thirsty. It does no good for me to say that I don't completely trust ANY of the factions, for I understand that the next level in my spiritual development requires mentoring and identification by forces more powerful than the merely human. I also remember a dream, telling me that I had to get off the planet Earth, or rather, seek shelter, from a powerful storm coming. Right now, Earth is being blasted by solar storms--those solar storms are not good for me, with the spider virus implants I have in my brain, and the abnormally heavy, reptilian DNA I carry. Even with chemtrail protection, I would be a raging, neurotic mess, incapable of any astral connection--except, of course by abduction from the negative KaBal.

As a matter of fact, the dream was that I was riding on a tractor with PF, down a narrow road, and I knew that we were going to reach an end, but not before a storm would come, which I could not handle. I have the memory impression that the damage would be much more damaging to me than to to PF, but she has chosen to fully link herself to me, and would not leave me, so I said, "We are not going to make it (to the end) before the storm hits. We HAVE to stop and build a shelter. There was a tree growing right in the middle of the road, so no matter which way we went, the tractor would be a squeeze (dumping the tractor was not going to happen), so I made a rational assessment which side of the road would afford the greater (even if only slightly), latitude for shelter, and if I remember correctly, it was the right side of the road (surprising, considering that I regard myself as a moderately "left leaning" kind of person, and am always inclined to take the "left" way). However, I knew in the dream that we were going to make it to the end, but that finding shelter from the storm was imperative.

Now the way that I interpret that dream is that PF and I are a team. A tractor is a heavy duty work vehicle; the dream dictionary says it symbolic representation is that of resourcefulness and creative, transforming work. PF and I have some heavy duty work to do together, but a storm is coming, which I, and possibly, PF, cannot withstand--I think it refers to the solar storms and the anticipated, heavy alien "incoming" fire and assault. It could be that the tree in the road slows us down; it certainly forces a decision, as to which side to choose for the immediate shelter.
Again, I consider myself a moderate "leftist" in most ideological matters, and I nearly always choose the "left" side of risk, experimentation, and the deviating, rather than the "right" of conservatism, the traditional, and the expected. However, for whatever reason, the right side seemed the best choice for SHORT TERM shelter--and I knew it was short term. There was no doubt in my mind that PF, the tractor and I would make it to the end of the road.

Now the tree blocking our way, I interpret to mean I interpret to mean the "tree of life", which scripturally speaking means the knowledge of good and evil, but I tend to think it refers more to the dualism imposed on our world by the genetic alterations done by MACHINE-RA. Our world is completely bifurcated into "the norm" and the "other"--it does not matter how we choose to cast the dualism--whether by gender, race, class, nation-state, etc. The Fall resulted into this alienating separateness of "norm" and "other", and subsequently, "better" and "inferior", "dominant" and "subjugated". The good news is that I honestly think those dualistic categories will lose a lot of their heavy-handed and restricting imposition, once we get to the end of the road. However, at this point, the dualism is forcing me to choose one side or the uncomfortable, which is both literally uncomfortable in which to build a good shelter, and personally uncomfortable for me to find a happy fit--it doesn't matter, if I go left or right, it is not a natural place for me to be.

Unfortunately, the alien factions vying for my allegiance, suffer from the exact same bifurcating and crippling dualism--even if their genetic code is much more intact than that of us native Terrans. Otherwise, the aliens (Sirians) would be able to be a lot more honest with me. It wouldn't matter a whit to them, whether I identify as male or female; black or white. Well, I always live in the world as I find it, but no matter what, I am always honest, or at least, as honest as I can possibly be, which is not always easy when I am being played, manipulated, and deceived, at every step of the way. The Sirians may not be honest with me, but I will be honest with them. So let me repeat it:


Of course, I know all this declaration means absolutely nothing to the Sirians. I have been shouting this out loud on the blog for years now, and all they do is up the ante of lies and deceit, thinking I will choose their version of reality. Now, at the end of the road, I will have no doubt respecting their vision of reality, but as long as it is being forced upon me, I must protest mightily, in order to protect and preserve my own soul, my OWN SELF-IDENTITY AS A MAN! I don't care what the rest of the world thinks. I never have, but if I am going to be happy and productive in outer reality, my inner sense of being needs to correspond with my outer. Otherwise, I just am reduced to a one-dimensional neurotic, in my case, a "brain".

I was a "brain" for years--my entire youth and early adulthood. I don't like being a "brain". I know that the unnatural circumstances of my recent years have highlighted my strong brain, but I have an incredible emotional side as well, AND I WILL NEVER BE A FULL HUMAN BEING AS A WOMAN. I AM A MAN, and I said it years ago, men need women, more than women need men. I NEED A FEMALE PARTNER TO MAKE ME ALIVE AND PRODUCTIVE, LOVED AND HAPPY.

The proof is in the experience. In a matter of less than 2 weeks, PF got through my defenses, my closed off brain and my closed off emotions, and opened me up closer to astral travel than any one or any book, ever could or ever did, and at this point, I am close to saying, ever will.

As I write this, I am feeling the spiritual presence and pressure on my anal area, but guess what--I figured out your deception, you fucking luciferian pricks. You are just giving me ersatz, totally fake sexuality. Oh yes, you allowed PF and I a kiss or two in the astral realm, maybe even on Valentine's day. I still am not convinced that we got past "first base (well, considering our passionate natures, maybe second base), but it was emotionally provocative enough for you Sirians to get a record of my brain waves and bodily responses to emotional arousal, and THAT is what you are using to lead me down the garden path to your choice for me--to be a celibate "brain" of a woman. I can tell you that such a path will not lead to productivity or happiness for me, but you don't care--you just want a fantasy female figure to lead all the MACHINE-led boys and girls to "mommy" or "sugar tits".

It took me a while to figure it all out. I knew something was wrong, after the sex act with some psychic entity that played my brain waves (from the recording made of them during REAL encounters with PF), like a fucking violin. Deception, no matter how sophisticated, couldn't fool my soul or spirit, however.
The body got "off", thanks to my own right hand, but the soul was left feeling sad, violated and empty--unlike my real encounters with PF, when my soul was uplifted, joyful, and zestfully alive and aware. Of course, I could tell that something was way wrong after the masturbation/fake sex act--it just took me a while to orient myself, because I have been so overwhelmed with data.

Well, I am getting better oriented, and all your bag of luciferian tricks won't work. Sure, I can feel the puny-ass sexual arousal going on in my vaginal and anal area, but I know--that is just the implants that you placed in me, at work. Then manipulate my brain waves, and voila, I get the warm fuzzies. It worked last night during my dream state, didn't it?

Oh yeah, I am aware (at least upon awakening), that the Sirian shape shifters in close, familial proximity are implanting shit into my brain--and I mean REAL SHIT!!! Hell, it was probably one of their goddamned implants that said "Shave my legs".


So, let me tell you about the fake dreams I am having (can't remember all of them, but man, are they pouring them on--I slept for nearly 12 hours last night). Yesterday's dream was that two women in black (i.e.--govt. agency of some official kind), were shaking me down at the airport, going through all my stuff, and they told me, "you can't take any money with you". Well, I knew this dream was deliberately implanted, and I woke up thinking it was a warning that I would be going to some kind of lock up facility soon (I just wasn't walking down the garden path fast enough for my shape shifting handlers). I didn't check the dream dictionary, though to see what money symbolized--I made the common, but always erroneous error of taking it literally--you can't take money with you into jail.

So, last night, my dreams were along the same line. Now, this morning, in order to put together all of the dream imagery, I DID look up the symbolism for money in dreams--it refers to power (I would say personal power, or an even better word, personal sovereignty) AND sexuality. However, I did not know that meaning when I fell asleep last night. I had been pondering the dream all day, and wondered if it was a negative reference meaning that I could not travel to the astral realm as long as I was clinging to worldly possessions of value, i.e., "filthy lucre". So, I went to sleep thinking I should let go of all my money. Thus,in my dream, the first thing I tried to do when told that I would be rescued (and there were some Black guys in a big, white van that were trying to rescue me), was to go to the bank to withdraw my money, and give it to John, my brother--who also is a Sirian shape shifter in this little deceptive drama I am going through. In my dream itself, I remember that I was consciously trying to follow the dictate from the previous dream, "you can't take any money with you".

The dollar amount of my bank account withdrawal was interesting--it was, I do believe $2963". Now, the thing is, I am 99% positive that number refers to PF's birthdate, but the dates are wrong. We were conceived in October of 1961, so either I got the dream number wrong, or else the Martian technology used to birth PF needed her to be in embryonic status for an extra six months. So then my question is, how does such an abnormally developing fetus gets the love and emotional nurturance that it needs from such a static environment? It doesn't--not even if there is some kind of genetic connection with the far away birth mother (whose attention would be completely focused on the baby she could FEEL in her round belly).

Now, I suspect that PF has been "quarantined" by the Sirians somewhere. That is what the aliens due to human hybrids who dare to live out their full human natures and fall in love. It is what they did to Rayelan Allen's husband, as detailed in her book, "The Obergon Chronicles", and for a long time, I wondered if he were a Sirian alien himself, but no, he was just a turbo-charged human hybrid, like PF. Anyway, within a week of his marrying Raye, he was locked up in jail on bogus charges--and he was the number 3 man in the CIA!!! No indeed, the Sirian control freaks do not like their slaves gaining personal sovereignty and emotional, soulful freedom, and nothing is so subversive to layered, sophisticated mind control as LOVE.

So PF is probably in custody somewhere, while I have these fakers playing bullshit games with erogenous implants and brain wave trickery. LOL--it is funny, now that I understand what is going on, but it wasn't funny last night, when I was doing my best to "enter the astral realm". Had I looked up the meaning of the dream symbolism for money, yesterday, I would not have made the mistake, and maybe I would have hairy legs right now...

For after I gave John (the Sirian shapeshifter), everything that was valuable to me (I thought I was giving away "filthy lucre", but I was giving away the most important thing in my life to me right now, and the best (if hidden), and practically only friend that I have had in the last couple of years. So, after giving John the money, I look over in the passenger seat, and I see a monstrous looking, autistic Black "woman". Now, I know that in my dreams, I often see myself as autistic, but this woman looked positively monstrous--that is because, no matter what, I will never be a full or complete woman, and any attempt to force me into the body of a woman will result in a terribly deformed being.

I think what it will result in, is a neurotic brain. In my dream, I also was able to open up a locker full of books, with my mind. I have been a brain before--it sucks, it is lousy, it is neurotic, and one-dimensional. I want to live in the fullness of my body, and live out the riches of my emotional and sexual life, and now that I have been able to figure out what the Sirians did to me, let me say:

I WILL NOT GIVE UP MY "MONEY" (MOST CHERISHED VALUE) TO ENTER INTO THE ASTRAL REALMS. PF and I are a team, and I will never be fully alive without her--I know, because without her psychic support the past few days, my mind has been all over the place.

Well, it is possible that without my cooperation with the Sirians, that I might end up in some kind of lockup facility. Earth is not a good place for me to be right now, and maybe they will put me on ice, somewhere. I do not wish for that. I have been locked up before, and it sucks; with my health especially, I need to be free to get exercise, fresh air, and have access to good, high protein food when my blood sugar crashes, due to the viral downloads. No matter what though, I won't waver.

I am hip to the game, boys. Even if I am put in solitary confinement, I will not be fooled by your elaborate mind game tricks. You know, my favorite, modern religious philosopher is Simone Weil, who would often inveigh against the deception of the imagination. She would say that the devil can often come in and trick us through our imaginative faculty, and I have always taken her warning to heart, which is why I never got fooled by all the channeling bullshit. Now the imagination is a great gift, and I use it, profusely, every single day of my life. However, I know (unlike some of the psychics/remote viewers monitoring me), that 90% of what goes through my imagination is redundant, invalid, or incomplete, and my reason and intuitive heart gets the final say on what imaginative scenes and hypothesis get final approval, and I can say that this is the first post I have written in the last few days of which my reason and intuitive heart concur:


Friday, February 17, 2012

Adios to McGoohan Village

Adios to McGoohan Village--well nothing disturbs one's jailers so much as a vocal prisoner who dares to insist on his freedom, and so I will soon be removed from this bucolic surreal fantasy world. The programmers did take note of my previous complaint, and they added chem trails today--only thing I regret opening my mouth about, really. It was nice to see fluffy, white clouds in a blue sky, again.

I am sure that where I am going will be much less pleasant, and I will be denied access to the Internet, but I am ready. I have been incarcerated before, and while it certainly is hateful, living in this strange fantasy world, with shape shifting aliens and turbo charged vampires stepping into family roles, is even worse.

My flight leaves on Sunday, but I fully expect Men in Black to come bursting through the door any time. I am ready. I know that I will be free again, and hopefully in a radically different body than I now possess. As for me, I am going to sign off to read the book I have on my netbook laptop. It is about Mars--might as well learn something about the planet I am on. I don't expect anybody to be truthing me for a while.

I close with a prayer for all my readers, true family, and patriots all over the world. I hope to post again, but if I don't, I wish that each and every one is well, and no matter how dire the circumstances, remember that the struggle for freedom is worthy of all sacrifice, including the loss of freedom, incarceration. I know of what I speak--I have been here before--back then I was jailed for insisting on my right to sexual freedom; now I will be jailed for insisting on my right for spiritual freedom. What a fitting close to end this blog, to once again, demonstrate how intertwined and mutually supportive those two elements are. Of course, I like epilogues and p.s's, so hopefully I can squeeze out a couple of more posts.