Another raucous night has left me puzzled and unsettled all morning, but I think that I finally figured out what happened. I have been dealing with intense personal issues the last few days, which has abruptly, if temporarily, stopped all intellectual research, and this is going to be another one of those days.
I was abducted twice last night--first by the evil KaBal, and then, later by the psychic patriots with whom I often work on the astral level. I responded to the first abduction admirably, but failed miserably with the people who care about me. So, why and how did this happen?
Let me start out by saying that I knew that I was going to be abducted by negative KaBalists. I can consciously "smell" them before an abduction, and I have been able to do so since my first recollections of being abducted--around late 2004 or early 2005. This was also the time that the drugging began, not only lithium, but nightly infusions of the viral activation agent (though the first time I got a stiff dose of the virus was back in late 1994, on a desert camping trip while recuperating from a back injury). So, I am not sure what causes the smell. I have read that a lot of abductees insist that the Greys smell like cinnamon or "mentholated cinnamon", but cinnamon has a pleasant smell to me. This odor is horribly foul, and nearly impossible for me to describe, though I will say today that it smells like very sour milk. One thing I can say for certain--every single time I smell that odor, I suffer from a very negative encounter with Nazi abductors. This is not the prima facie friendly mask of the luciferian Faction 2 --this is abduction by hard core, hateful satanists.
Anyway, I do not know if the odor is caused by the presence of the KaBalist spirits that I sense, right before falling asleep, or if some implant in my brain is being activated that releases the scent. Maybe it is an unconscious psychosomatic response that is related to early childhood, satanic abuse. Unconsciously, I recognize the occult state of mind that I am entering, and my brain relives the trauma of an original smell associated with satanic abuse as a child. In any case, I know that smell, and if I can do so, I will get out and move around or watch TV, when I smell it, but last night, I must have experienced the odor while paralyzed in semi-conscious twilight zone. Anyway, I was abducted, but somehow managed to fight off a full-fledged abduction.
Then later, I was astrally "abducted" by the patriot psychic community, who I think are trying to help me declare an unequivocal gender identity, so that they can figure out which community of psychics would be a better fit as a safety zone, while this cosmic war continues to rage. I know that I need a safe place--I am very aware that there are a lot of hostiles from different negative factions who either want me dead or incapacitated through some kind of imprisonment--in one of their "facilities" of course. However, knowing this to be true does not translate into emotional readiness for it. I have become accustomed to being a solo fighter for the last few years, and it seems to me that much of the intervention by the KaBalists, whether good or evil, has been counterproductive. In a way, that has turned out for the best, because my inability to cross over to the astral side, has led to an independent perspective which has given me greater credibility and options, that a narrow factional identity would undermine. However, all the bodily and psychological damage done by incessant drugging and mutilations, has left me deeply mistrustful, a condition exacerbated by the confusion generated that I will often be abducted by both evil and patriot cliques in the same night, as happened last night. Because, I often do not understand what is really happening, I often lash out in anger--much of it misplaced from the satanic KaBalists to the patriot occult cliques.
From what I have gathered that is what happened last night. I was abducted by the satanists first, and then later lashed out at the patriots who were interviewing me. I don't know what I said or did, but it must have been vicious, because when I went to turn on my internet radio this morning, I got a brief "blue screen of death", and then the song on the radio was titled, "I wanna strangle you" by the "Screeching weasals". Now, early in the morning, I listen to mellow music, and so the station was set to a light, "relax track" channel, so this song just didn't fit. Of course, I skipped it, but later searched for it, and it looked as overwhelmingly negative as when I first saw the title. It is incredible to me that I would say that to someone, but I know that I have been a wife murderer in a "previous incarnation" (I don't understand exactly what reincarnation means, and I do not have enough evidence to take it on faith). I will say that the "archetypal memory" is similar to that found in the play, "Othello", in which a Black military leader, poisoned by lies, murders his innocent and loving White wife. I really am working toward a full hypothesis regarding this, but now is not the time to delve into it. I bring it up, because it lends credence to the incredulous possibility that I threatened someone's life last night--probably my "psychic friend", who has saved my life on more than one occasion. Of course, vocalizing, or even harboring a death threat to someone is completely unacceptable to me, at least in a conscious life, but if unconsciously, I am dealing with unresolved karma for a heinous crime, it would make sense.
So this is more than just a case of misplaced anger, i.e.--lashing out at a friend, because I still am under the sway of the previous abduction, though I think it fair to say that it factored into the hostile response. However, I am honest enough to admit that something else must be really bothering me to act out so viciously, so I sat and thought through some possibilities this morning, and the following is the HYPOTHESIS that I finally reached...
I lashed out in anger, when astrally asked, "Are you a man or a woman?". Now, I think the previous abduction is directly related to my vicious response, because I recognize those "sour milk abductors"--they are the exact same, evil clique that abused me as young child. No, it goes even deeper than that--they abused me grievously in the womb, and are directly responsible for my gender ambiguity, my autism, AND EVEN MORE!!!! I think that the KaBalist clique responsible for this was/is the reptilian Amon-RA contingent. You see, that clique was involved in genetic experiments in certain areas of the planet, and Detroit Michigan (and Chicago Illinois) were hotspots for this genetic engineering by reptiles. The same soul-scurvied reptilian minions that were behind the unnatural conception of Barack Obama, were behind my own trauma in the womb.
Now, how in the world did I get so "unlucky" as to be chosen? Easily answered--my father had a highly prized occult surname denoting heavy reptilian bloodline, and he had been "tagged" while in the Army. Actually, they did their damnedest to recruit him, and left him psychologically scarred and "mean" for the rest of his life, but he was too much of a rebellious spirit to fall into their plans. However, he was on their radar, and after his discharge, they knew where he was, and probably were responsible for an unconscious prodding for him to leave San Francisco for Detroit. There, they knew when his wife became pregnant and the genders of the children. I think that they did to me, what they did to "V", the al-Qaida leader, so full of venomous hate that she wanted to destroy her own birth culture.
I never really wrote about my realizations regarding "V"--because she was killed by patriot forces, almost as soon as I finally broke through to the insight. "V", like myself, was a full-blown hermaphrodite, and like myself, there was nothing natural about it--she was genetically engineered by reptile aliens to be a hermaphrodite, just as I was. "V", just like me, was conceived to be a male child, but was genetically manipulated in the womb, so that she developed a complete female body. Most "intersexed" people are not full blown hermaphrodites, and will often present phenotype deficiencies, so that nearly all XY males born into a seemingly female body, will not have ovaries and/or a womb. But "V", like me was "special"--we were engineered to be hermaphrodites.
You see, I finally figured out when I read somewhere on the web that reptile queens were hermaphrodites. Both "V" and myself were bred to be reptile/human hybrid queens!! Now, for some reason, the reptilian leader has to be a female, a queen, but I think they prefer that their queen leaders come with predominantly masculine traits such as a hot temper, courage, and a greater aggression. Poor "V" never had a chance--she was ritually initiated as a child, and then carried away to black ops facilities where she was dreadfully abused, and became a poisonous hater.
I was supposed to meet such a fate, and at first, everything went according to plan. My dad got involved with the satanic clique in Detroit--not by any chance, mind you, but because he was approached and recruited by trustworthy minions of the Amon-RA cult, who had been told that he was a VIP. My dad was NOT a sophisticated man, and he had no idea of what he was getting into--he just thought that he was making connections with a networking community which would help him achieve success in life. However, this connection with the satanic occult resulted in my brother and I being sexually abused in a ritualistic setting, which had a profound impact on my young psyche. That was the point--the Amon-RA reptilian cult engages in sexual abuse of children, because they want the kids to be confused regarding their sexuality, and in my case, gender identity. Because soul is related to sexuality, this confusion makes a human being more amenable to their mind control--whether "hermaphroditic 'queen'", or "suburban swinger".
Now, when this abuse occurred, I am certain that I identified myself as a girl-child. It was right after the period of potty training, and I would have become very aware that I had a "wee wee" and sat down on the toilet to pee. I was not a normal child. My autism left me very passive and introverted in relation to the outer world, so that I was heavily feminized. It would not be until I entered school, that I left my fantasy world and developed an ego, which became an immediate problem, because even my youngest, most tender ego and sense of self was masculine. I would get into fist fights with my brother and play war with the visiting boys, I hated wearing girl clothes, and being treated as a girl. However, I was living in an Appalachian holler (my Dad finally realized the danger his family was in, and escaped Detroit and the satanist), and gender social conditioning was extremely strict, so I could not fight back. Instead all of my anger at being treated like a girl went inside and festered, though thankfully the testosterone boost of adolescence enabled me to develop a healthier, more autonomous ego.
I feel like a kid again, festering inside, because I am forced into being a female, when that is not who I am at all, except of course when the goddamned reptilians abduct me, and force me back into the role of the passive girl. That is why, whenever I am sexually abused--by whatever faction--I revert back into a self understanding of being feminine--and angry. I am well aware of the issues regarding my sexuality and gender identity. However consciously, I know who I am. I wish people would respect it, and oh, by the way, every time I am force fed psychotropic drugs, I become vulnerable to abduction by the negative KaBal. I think I am being force fed Depakote, or maybe something else. There is a reason why we are raising a generation of teen killers--there is too much psychotropic chemicals in their brains. I have tried to make it clear that I don't need any more serotonin or dopamine, etc, but some people keep thinking if they force feed me drugs, that I will all of a sudden, be glad to be in this fucking hateful female body, that is TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY ALIEN TO ME. It won't happen--all the extra goddamned psychotropic chemicals do is either make me completely passive dependent or aggressively angry--in either case, years of experience has taught me that it is the perfect setup for abduction by aliens. Thanks a lot, NOT!!!!