On the heels of the previous post

On the heels of the previous post...I think I have identified the man I call "doppelganger". I have seen him before--it was in the waiting room where I "healed" the disabled girl. Doppelganger (DG) was in the waiting room with me, and was vaguely familiar. I know now that he actually was very familiar. He looked like a gnome, with a short, misshapen body and a microcephalic head, but he was highly observant and clearly very intelligent. My brief observation and intuition also informed me that he was a miserable, stunted, and even hateful soul, blighted by his obvious deformities, (and no doubt), the abuse that he had endured at the hands of the KaBal. I remember his surprise when I showed compassion towards the little girl, and he tried to imitate, but he came across as creepy.

Now, two items I wish to bring up. First of all, St. Paul the Apostle had the exact same description--short, gnomish, bald, and strange looking. So, by the way, did a Renaissance painter (Raphael?), who, if you probe his history, you learn that he was actually an alien gnome, sour of temper, but with incredible giftedness for painting. Name the skill, and the MACHINE can grant it to you within seconds--it just does a download in the sleep. I also think St. Paul was intersexed--with a micropenis, which I think was the result of his being gay (not all men with that condition are gay, but I think he was). Even more importantly, it contributed to a crushing sense of inferiority in a culture in which a man's status in the community was a result of his fertility, and even the scriptures comment on the inferior status of a man with less than whole genitalia. He ended up overcompensating, and clinging to his faith to the point of killing those who would deviate from a strict interpretation of the Law.

Now, the reason I bring up St. Paul is that years ago, when I was in my early 20's, I had a dream in which it seem to explicitly state that I was St. Paul, reincarnated. Now I am reconsidering the dream and what it meant, but for right now, take this statement at face value. Certainly the anger and alienation I have felt from my own intersexed condition, and my self-hating gay sexuality, along with numerous other factors seems to parallel that of Paul.

However, at some point, my dreams began to point me towards a self-understanding of being "Sananda" or Jesus, but it was clear to me that this was all lies, for at this point, I clearly recognized the intervening dream implants by MACHINE-RA.

So, here is what I am wondering--what if we do not reincarnate at all, or even if we do, our reincarnation memories are manipulated and tampered by the MACHINE? I clearly have downloaded several memory archetypes that are not me at all, such as Therese of Liseux. What if, after my initial conversion, MACHINE-RA decided I would make a great St. Paul and put those memories in me (oh, and by the way, I like St. Paul, but unlike many Protestants, I do not venerate him). However, after discovering my full genetic makeup, what if it "upgraded" my reincarnation status to "Jesus", in which case a new "Paul" had to be found.

You see, I am very close to declaring St. Paul a complete, if innocent and non-malicious, dupe of the MACHINE. Once Jesus made it clear that his allegiance was to almighty God, and not the MACHINE, the devotees of RA HAD to undermine the purity and truth of Jesus' message AND make it palatable as a world religion in order to become an effective tool of mass mind control, which the gospel, by itself, would never do.

I think Paul had a genuine conversion, but I really am beginning to believe if he was duped. Now, imagine my surprise when I see a pre-conversion Paul-like figure, when the MACHINE is setting me up to do a "miraculous" healing. Once my "Jesus" is martyred and "ascended" (i.e. plugged into the MACHINE), the miserable wretch I saw, has a conversion experience, and makes my teachings conform to the childishly dependent of the mind control..,

I am just speculating, of course, but this I can tell you for sure. I know who that Paul-like figure was. He was a "son" of Don Chumley, a childhood friend of my father's--indeed a next door neighbor. I know because he looked the spitting image of Don's son, whom I visited with a couple of years ago. Now a couple of things about Don was that he did not fit into his family at all. They were typical Scotch Irish fair, and Don was very, very dark-skinned and abnormally short and hairy. He also went blind when he was about 10 years old, when the government sent him away to an institution to learn braille. The other amazing characteristic about Don is that, despite his handicaps, he was a genius--from the back hollers of WV!. Seriously, he was involved with computers and programming WAY ahead of the curve, working for the state department for the blind. Now the question I ask is, "who was Don's genetic parents?" It clearly was not his "family". The second question I would ask is, "were his deformities deliberately inflicted as part of a genetic experiement? Finally I would ask if my grandfather's clan were targeted by the KaBal as early as the late 1930's or 1940's? Was a doppelganger created to mirror my father (I cannot fathom my grandfather engaging in extramarital affairs). Did this genetic manipulation extend to the local circle of friends?

These will be questions I will be asking myself in the next few days, but what I am getting at is that I think I am hooked to that doppelganger somehow, someway, whether through an implant in my brain, or through genetic connection--I think that may be the source of a lot of spontaneous, if unspoken, verbal ejaculation and emotional resistance to reality that gets me into a lot of trouble.

I will not play the martyr--if a gnome like doppelganger is connected to me--and my intuition is telling me that he is--I will pull him up. But I will not "PLAY" Jesus, and I will not let a "PAUL", however well-intentioned, hijack my thoughts, words and beliefs.

Again, I have a lot of work cut out for me, but instead I am heading deeper into the maw of the Beast. Last night, I was force fed drugs that made me sick so rapidly that I had to leave the restaurant. Then, later, I dreamed of the MACHINE trying desperately to get me to orgasm with it, while I slept (don't forget, the KaBal now has my sexual arousal brain waves). Life could get very difficult for the next month or so. All I ask is that, if I seem to go over the "Dark Side", don't give up on me. I will be back, a free man, or I will be dead--but I will NOT contribute to the mind control mess that MACHINE-RA has forced on this world.