Monday, February 28, 2011

Postponement of part 3

Postponement of part 3--the drugging started again today. Earlier, I was freezing cold, and wondered if my thyroid meds had been pulled, but my digestion is okay, and usually a blocked digestion is the first symptom that I am not being given thyroid. I have been severely autistic for much of the day, keeping the eyes shut, and now I am so tired that I can barely open my eyes. The good news is that my mind has started to move at closer to normal speed--something that the lithium damage took away. My brain still isn't moving at the lightning speeds it used to, but there does seem to be an improvement. My writing, while still sloppy, has more of its normal cadence, and mixture of colloquial with high vocabulary. I still do not have my vocabulary and verbal fluency back, and have a hard time misspelling words, and not recognizing misspellings. Overall, though, my brain does seem to be a little bit better. I wonder if this is the result of the cranial manipulaton? Isn't it ironic, that my mind could move at lightning speed and accuracy for years, before the aliens damaged my brain with pharmaceutical poison, and now I have to look like Frankenstein to get back to even 75% of my original brain function. Crazy, but I am too drugged to rant about it. Whatever drug I am on, I can barely keep my eyes open. I hope this isn't another abduction night....

Looks like the History channel

Looks like the History channel spilled the beans last night on King Tut. It seems that King Tut's paternal DNA has markers identifying it as Western European, especially those markers predominating in Scotland and Ireland. Of course, I think the really interesting revelation would be learning the truth about his father, Akhenaton, who I suspect was a lot like me, an intersexed being, genetically tampered with in the womb, and medically altered as an incarnate being, so that he could be a more perfect "container" for the download of a disincarnate Machine entity. But, judging from the deformed, intersexed depictions of his statuary, I doubt that he (she?) was capable of procreation, so my guess is that some Watcher alien/human hybrid stepped in as a sperm donor for Tut. Yes, I suppose that one could say the the Tribe of Dan/Aryans had done okay for themselves in the land of Egypt--that is, until the crossing of Planet X, which no doubt left them huddled in the extensive tunnelage under the pyramids (built for that purose) while the White Dragons breathed fire and destruction on living beings outside. My guess is that advanced technology, such as that found in Star Trek scripts--"polarized hull plating" and "energy shields" were used to protect the pyramids themselves. When it was all over, Moses and his Israelite slaves (maybe Joseph, or his sons, had not been quite as forgiving towards Leah's descendants as the Bible tell us) had left with the source of their power--the ark. Without the Watchers to back them. the he Danites/Aryans (who were essentially foreigners in the land--nothing new; many of Egypt's Pharaohs, such as Cleopatra were of foreign lineage split for various destinations, notably the isle of Britain and Ireland, but also parts of Europe penetrated by the "Dan"ube, which their ships could traverse. To this day, the Celts of Ireland, Scotland, and Wales are the genetically purest of their descendants, for England, and the European Aryans have been conquered by, and interbred with multiple other lineages--Germanic (Angles and Saxons), French, Scandinavian, Italian. But the Aryans had one power artifact left--Jacob's pillow, or as it is now known--the Stone of Scone (pronounced "scoon"):

Carried off to the island of Britain by the Danites/Aryans who built Stonehenge in an an attempt to reconstruct the occultic glory, knowledge and power they had once enjoyed in Egypt, they found the Stone of Scone had lost its power, as they knew it. For this stone is a stargate, the first stargate recorded in Western literate history. According to Genesis, when Jacob found and used it as a pillow, he created a "ladder" and he saw God and angels ascending and descending.(Gn 28). In short, the stone is a translocating stargate that can be used to initiate interdimensional travel, but while venerated to this day by the British monarchs who sit on it during coronation, and the Scots, who stole and hid it, the stone seems to have lost its interdimensional stargate power. Why? Location. Location. Location. The stone's power is activated in the Holy Land. Genesis says that Jacob found it between Beersheba and Haran, but my guess is that the location of the First Temple in Jerusalem is REALLY the power center that would activate the stone. (Remember I posted a while back that I dreamed that the PIBs wanted me to sit on a stone....)

Why is this ancient history important? Because, while the vast majority of the population are ignorant of it, the power movers and shakers of the world, and especially those who know the occultic history, are aware of it, and this knowledge, its heritage, and the fight to implenent its future, is impacting reality NOW. The first principle of this occultic knowledge is that we (humans) are not alone on this planet, and have never been alone. The second principle is that much of our experience on this planet has been impacted by negative and malevolent entities, whether reptilian or luciferian. These powers and principalities have interbred with humans, and created a ruling class of aristocratic elite, which keep the occultic knowledge in the small, bloodline family, while the larger human family are kept ignorant of their true history. While many of the established Illuminati families are reptilian by DNA interbreeding and affiliation, there has always been another alien contender on the scene, which peaked in Pharaonic Egypt, and which is ascending again--the luciferian descendants and kin of Samjaza and the Watchers. These alien entitites are just as malevolent as the fading reptiles, and in a way, scarier, because they can literally destroy human free will by putting implants in us that plug us into a machine, destroying our individuality and making us part of the hive mind machine collective. They have been on the move in the last century, starting with the spiritual possession of satanists, occultists, and theosophists, and yes, Hitler. Their marine presence has grown more overt and powerful. Politically speaking, they have created a new power faction.

Following the guide of the editorial viewpoint of the best alternative news site on the web, I would call the "old school" of the reptilian, Illuminati families, Faction 1. This is "old money", and aristocracy (including the British monarchy), oil money, Federal Reserve, Rothschilds and Rockefellers. With the rise of Hitler, the tearing of the time/space fabric by atomic bomb blasts and tests (which allows for easier interdimensional penetration of Earth's plane by alien UFO's), and the coming astrological/astronomical changes of 2012, a new faction, Faction 2 gained in power and prominence. The aristocracy of Faction 2 are the royal descendants of the Merovingians, which as I stated in the last post, are born of the hybrid DNA of Watchers (reptilian-altered Sirians, who are plugged into the machine). These include many of the dethroned heads and nobility of post WWI and post WWII Europe (especially those of Austria, Hungary, and Bavaria). It also includes a lot of occultist families, especially from France, where the luciferians had a major renaissance with the medieval phenomena known as the Cathars, and where the Knights Templar originated, and were nearly destroyed. You see, the founders of the Knights Templar, no doubt cued in by Qabbalistic Jews of France (the Merovingians were tied in with prominent Jewish families), learned that there was a great treasure trove of alchemical secrets and gold hidden underneath the First Temple. This, of course, was the hidden cache of occultic knowledge, and quite possibly, the ark, preserved from the time before Atlantis/Egypt, and from the apostate traditions of the "King of Tyre"/Hiram Abi/Solomon. This occult knowledge had to be hidden, for much of it conflicted with the strict tenets of Jewish law. Also, remember the First Temple was destroyed by the Babylonians. No doubt the occultic treasures were hidden from the marauders, and when Israel returned from the Babylonian Exile, they were repentant true believers in the Law of God and Moses, so that the knowledge of the luciferian occult had to be tightly and strictly preserved to just a very few. After the fall of the Second Temple, and the Diaspora, I think one of the very few Jews knowledgeable about this hidden stash was the Rabbi Makhir, an Exilarch from Baghdad, living in France, and I think he made a deal with the Knights Templar to go to the Holy Land (which he, as a Jew, a true descendant and son of the land,could not), and get the treasure. Of course, the Knights did, and came back, and within a few years were fabulously wealthy, and so powerful that they were destroyed. I also think that they, influenced by the occult knowledge, had become apostates to their own Christian faith (I have to resist the temptation to go into further detail, but that would be a whole other essay). What was left of the Knights Templar, after the Friday 13th betrayal by King Philip and the Pope, went to Scotland, where no doubt they knew the ancient ancestral race of the occult Aryans lived. There, they founded freemasonry which carried on the ancient luciferian tradition. Other occultic societies were founded to preserve this hidden, and yes, easily turned to evil, knowledge that Samjaza had originally bestowed on the human race, and these societies included, among others, the Rosicrucians and the Priory of Sion. These societies stayed low profile, exclusive, and closed to the public for centuries, and are so even today. I think that membership in these occultic societies nutured a sense of being the "true chosen ones of God", especially among the Aryans, whom time, fortune, and "red dragon" genetics had alienated from their "white dragon" Jewish kin. They knew that the true power center of the Earth was Jerusalem, and they wanted to claim it for themselves. So did the Watchers, and in the 20th century, they found a willing and ambitious disciple to undertake their dirty work--Adolph Hitler. All the occult and supernatural power in the world (and believe me, the Watchers really poured it on, behind the scenes), could not overcome the entire arsenal and wealth of the Anglo-American and Russian alliance, not to mention the 50 million dead. The Aryans didn't give up however. Nazism didn't die; it went underground, secretly infiltrating the corporations and intelligence agencies of the victors--especially in America, where they have been doing everything possible to destroy our country.

I know that apologists for Faction 2 Germans will say that they are not Nazis, but only want vengeance on the Faction 1 players which had an active role in the destruction and ruin of Europe and the Merovingian monarchies. They especially blame Rothschild and "the Jews". I think it fair to say that the occultic reptilians, and that would includle not only the Jewish reptile hybrid family of Rothschild, but also non-Jewish familes such as the Bushes and others, DID work to promote WWII, just as they promote all wars, SO THEY CAN MAKE LOTS OF MONEY. But I have been following Faction 2, for a while, and I mostly see the same limitations that I see in Faction 1--a lust for greed and power. Ultimately, the Faction 2 crowd takes the same path that Faction 1 does--kowtowing to evil and malevolent entities, in this case, the Watchers, just as Faction 1 families kowtowed to the reptilians for centuries--all for power handouts. As I have stated before, the Watchers have a seriously defective and negative character disorder which allows them to use and abuse, violate, mutilate, experiment on, and kill people without conscience or feeling. Such a deplorably negative value system cannot but help affect anybody who would approach them for power handouts. Look at what it did to Hitler.

Yes, there has been a change in the cosmic power structure and influence. The power of the reptiles has been waning for a while. Posts I read on the web say that they have mostly left (because they know the White Dragons are coming?). Other posts and channelers say that the reptiles which are left are cloned. I wonder if, (I have no firm hypothesis on this), if the reptiles and Draconians have fallen prey to the Luciferian machine. In any case, the Watchers and their Nazi lieutentants seem to be the emerging head honcho on the cosmic "principalities and power" scene. This is evident by witnessing the swing of the primary players in what I call the "Faction 3" group.
While these factions and families have been around for a long time, they are basically "newbies" in their resurgent power to impact the world, mostly because of an influx of new knowledge, new money, or both. As I see it (because it impacts me so personally), the prime players in this Faction 3, have been around for centuries--the occultic hierarchs of the Vatican, especially the Jesuits. While I know that there are some Jesuits who genuinely pursue holiness, the Order has been corrupted by power hounds from the beginning. For centuries, they identified with Faction 1, siding with reptilian and Illuminati monarchs and families, against the suffering and exploited masses of population and peoples. Then, in the 20th century, they switched allegiance to Hitler, helping to smuggle out Nazis to South America via the "rat lines". The expertise of these Nazis were passed on, and have contributed to death and destruction in the 21st century, for the Nazis have underground and inner Earth bases in South America and Antartica. I also believe the Vatican/Jesuits were motivators of, and operators in, the assassination of JFK, especially under the Nazi patronage as established by the Dulles brothers. The Jesuits always were European centric, and JFK not only threatened to blow the trillions of dollars being siphoned from America to Europe via the Federal Reserve, but he also threatened their firm monolopy on human-alien (Watcher) relations, by full disclosure to the American people.

You see, the Vatican/Jesuits have been the primary benefactors of a major new discovery in the 20th century--the Dead Sea scrolls. This find was not some obscure religious find of ancient artifacts and scrolls (although it was presented that way), for the caves of Qumran was the "hidey hole" of the Essenes, as they desperately sought to survive the onslaught of the Romans. Entire books have been written on the Essenes, and while I am not as solid in my research as I would like to be, the following sentences are a combination of untested hypothesis--according to my high standards-- and proven fact (so I amy be wrong on some points). The Essenes originated on Mt. Carmel, the landing spot of the luciferian angel, Samjaza. Thus, they were the first recipents of the luciferian occult knowledge, and they still exist today. If you do a search for "Essenes" and "Mt. Carmel" on the web, you will find a site of an esoteric, Gnostic (now Christianesque) community. I also think that Jesus had ties with the Essenes, and they may even have been the ones who wanted him to be king. "We have the technology; you have the powerful spirit, and we can drive out the Romans." (I have to resist the temptation to go there...this involves matters of faith which requires delicate negotiation) However, the fact is that the Essenes, like all all of Judaism, experienced a hugely disruptive calamity in the 1st century A.D--they were all but wiped out by the Romans, though they tried to hide in a honeycomb of caves on the shores of the Dead Sea. Hidden along with them, were not only the scrolls and artifacts that excavators and archaelogists have shared, but I think a lot of the hidden luciferian knowledge brought out from the subterranean First Temple hiding jplace, when the Essenes broke away from the mainstream Israelite worship in the Maccabean period. The argument was ostensibly over the Aaronic priestly lineage, but I suspect that the Essenes always had a little bit of "heresy" in them, because of their hidden allegiance to the luciferian heritage, which the the Law of Torah would never have tolerated openly. The Vatican priests (and yes, I am pretty sure there were a couple of Jesuits involved--all Jesuits are trained to be scholars), maintained strict and domineering control over the find and its results and publications, so much so that the secular scholars protested vehemently. As I wrote earlier, one of the finds was an unidentified viscous red liquid, which was probably allowed to pass through the iron fist of Vatican censorship, because they thought nobody would ever know what it was, but as soon as I read of it, I recognized the similarity to the mercury isotope as described by Dr. Joseph Farrell. This mercury isotope was used by the Nais in an attempt to warp space/time and do interdimensional travel. Given how many abductees, starting in 1962 with Barney Hill, have seen humans and aliens in Nazi unifors, I would say the Nazis (or at least their successors in inner Earth) have been successful. Anyway, I think this archaeological treasure trove gave the Vatican/Jesuits an appreciable edge in human-Watcher contact. The Jesuits are an international order and have been missionaries and scholars in every country on the planet, for centuries. Also, they already had so much hidden knowledge stored away in the Vatican library, that they were all ready to try the recipe, and key ingredient (the mercury isotope) found at Qumran. They have succeeded. The fact that I remember being raped by Hans Kolvenbach in an astral state is all the proof I need. You see, according to Preston Nichols, a prime technique of mind control progamming is inducing the orgasmic state, which leads the mind wide open, so that they can imprint whatever they want on your mind. Crazy. Makes me sick to think about it, especially considering that they have no respect for either orgasms or open minds. It is all about control--and punishment, if you are free enough to believe that you are a spiritual being of choice, a child of God, and thus not subject to absolute control by machine technology.

The other party to benefit from this luciferian find were the upper ranking elements of Israeli politics and military. After all, Qumran is in their jurisdiction, and as snobby and arrogant as the Jesuits are, they still would have had to play nice with the Israelis in order to get permission to excavate. Even if the Jesuits had tried to keep knowledge of their finds a secret from the Israelis, I doubt that they would have succeeded. Knowing the paranoid Israeli temperament as I do (and who can blame them?), I am willing to bet that the excavation party was seeded with spies and highly educated and trained scholars, pretending to work as security, gofers and ancillary staff. Yep,high ranking elements of the Israeli government are in on the luciferian secrets of the Essenes, and one of them has just come out of a years long coma, to fulfull the agenda of the Machine collective, but more on that later. Israael has not been the only place to benefit from a new, previously hidden, luciferian knowlege . Egypt benefitted too, as new technology made searching under the pyramids and sphinxs even easier. Iran figured out in the 1940's that they were "ARYAN" which was why the Shah had the country's name changed from Persia to Iran (Iranya), no doubt, because of both Nazi occult input and influence, and because they were visited by these Aryan Watchers, which no doubt exploited deep insecurities and promised power, domination ect (same old story, over and over and over). I think Wallace Fard Muhammad, the founder of the Nation of Islam, a powerful, luciferian cult, was either an Iranian national or transient, who got the luciferian knowledge that he acquired probably near Shinke Afghanistan, and brought to Detroit/Chicago, at the behest of a major donor/player. Who could be such a well-funded donor, strategically close to the strongly emerging, but soon to be corrupted and satanic, city of Detroit. There is a French Canadian living now in China, who I think fits the bill--as a matter of fact, he is one half of a partnership of relatively new financial players on the scene--Maurice Strong and George Soros. Maurice Strong is the French Canadian, and I think comes from a distinguished Merovingian, occult family, which has been well versed and preserved in luciferian lore and worship for centuries. The discovery at Rennes-Chateau was real--another stash of luciferian treasure and alchemy. I think he hooked up with George Soros, a Hungarian (Hungary is supposed to be a huge center for Sirian descendants; unfortunately the Sirians have been genetically altered by reptilian bloodlines and coopted by the collective hive mind of the Machine), a self-made bulti-billionare, money all made by playing, and I do mean PLAYING, the markets. I would go so far as to say that a lot of wealth that is being generated and accumulated byso many of these bulti billionaires,playing the market is predicated on the Machine's advanced algorithmic analysis, not solely on intuitive hunches. The only caveat: you gotta sell your soul to the machine, and then, once you do, the best interests and needs of humanity no longer concern you. No matter how intelligent, how well placed, how powerful, how rich--you are a slave to the Machine.

I would say that each and all factions, 1, 2, 3 sometimes collude with, and sometimes compete with, each other as they vie for dominance and preferential placement in the luciferian New World Order that each of them is committed to birthing. However, the elements of Faction 3 are now most precipitously placed to cause not only my personal torment, but world conflagration within the next couple of years, and it not only entails world enslavement by the Machine but fulfillment of an ancient prophecy--the lost tribes of Israel worshipping in Jerusalem with Judah and Benjamin. Stay tuned for one more part....I'm trying to be brief, but it's not working out very well...

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Time to patch a few holes....

Time to patch a few holes....first, I must say that I am absolutely convinced that this Youtube video of the Annunaki Watcher woman, which I posted yesterday, is absolutely, 100% authentic. Today, I had a chance to look at part II of the video:
Again, I originally viewed it a few months ago. There is a part in there where the narrator points out the lack of proportionality in humanoid facial features, specifically that in humans, the tops of our align with our eyes, whereas in the alien woman they align with the third eye position of the forehead. Well, being an experimenter, of course, I double checked myself a few months ago, and was relieved to find that yes indeed, the tops of my ears aligned with my eyes (check it for your own self). The alarming and incredible thing is, that when I did the same self-test today, my ears no longer aligned with my eyes like a humanp--instead, they align with the third eye, just as does the Watcher female! I told you that I now have a Frankenstein forehead, but that doesn't bother me nearly so much as my discomfort with the torso of my body--the weight, the loss of muscle, the way I cannot move my arms comfortably, without getting caught up in boobs in the wrong place. On top of everything else, the shunt that they have placed above my heart is giving me a lot of discomfort and even pain. I don't care. I hope and pray for a heart attack. Probably some of you out there, think I am brave. I am not. I just have nothing to live for. My life couldn't be more miserable and hateful than it already is.

Also, I realized that I have seen that Watcher womans' haircut before--the Aryan female doctor that I saw when I went to the hospital a few nights ago--the one that was devoid of all feeling--had the exact same hair cut (I guess I am not the only one who has to wonder about what to do about the Frankenstein forehead). However, there is somewhere else I have seen that haircut--On Adolph Hitler. You know, Hitler's haircut was not a typical 30's male haircut. Seems to me he took his cue from somewhere else--who'd have thunk it--Hitler, a girly man.

I'd also like to add some historical notes that, if I had time to edit material, I would have fit in, before posting. Since my maternal family converted from Spanish Judaism, I feel a need to understand and explain the persecution that Ferdinand and Isabella unleashed on the Jews. I think "Leviathan", the aliens from the sea were at work, for as Aryans, they were alienated and angry against their brethren and kin, the Mongoloid or white dragon Jews. I think these aliens gave Ferdinand and Isabella assistance, and very possibly, maps to the "New World" in exchange for the persecution. Certainly, it is well documented that a marine UFO guided the three ships of Columbus for part of the voyage. I have a feeling that these Leviathan aliens who ruled the Earth from behind the scenes, worked actively to make life sheer hell for the Jews formed by, and obedient to the Torah, as given to Moses by God. Of course, this pervasive and relentless persecution culminated in the overwhelming suffering, death and destruction of the 6 million in the Holocaust, but it took CENTURIES of alien meddling and inflammation of prejudice to get there. And, all along, there were people who knew the truth, but because it was kept secret, evil could retain power. That is why I don't want to keep anything secret, even if it causes distress. Truth is ultimately empowering and can lead to healing. It is lies, secrets and disinformation that creates anger, resentment, and gives evil the power. I will be the first to admit that people must be prepared and ready for the truth. You don't tell a 3 year old that Santa Claus isn't real--and a lot of dogmatic religion has been mind control candy for the childish, designed to make them feel superior and justified, consoled and warm-fuzzied in their ideological beliefs and behaviors, instead of humbled and overwhelmed with awe before the great mystery of God and faith, and the difficult demands and responsibilities of true psychological and spiritual maturity. This is why I suffer so much now. I am victimized by the spiritually childish, who want an avatar to be an "Age of Aquarius" version of mind control candy, and that is not who I am, nor is it who Jesus was--even though the churches of done a great job of obscuring that fact

Finally, I would like to amend, or maybe the better word is, expand on my hypothesis about the Watchers as Sirians who have been genetically altered by reptiles. I still think that, but I wonder about Samjaza, the winged leader of these fallen angels. I think the reptilian alteration may be from that of a red dragon", or at least that of a healthy and deep ruddiness. There are several reasons for that. First of all, quite clearly, the Celts that are their progeny, are about the only red haired humans on the planet. And remember that Watcher womans' eyes--the pigmentation of her eyes is red. Also, there is the tradition of the "devil" being red. Finally, the flag of Wales, and much of the heraldry of Britain sports a red dragon. Now, my undestanding of the mythology of the dragons from Planet X is that they are white dragons. What if these red dragons/reptilians/altered Sirians are alienated, estranged brethren as well--perhaps the reds being involuntarily altered by the Draconians....I don't know. Somebody with access to more classified info and contacts with aliens than I have needs to explore that.

I finally am settling in for a night of writing, but it was a hard day. I was lonely all day, wanting someone to talk to, and someone to hold me, while I fought off the "wired but tired" feeling of sleep deprivation and viral downloads. It is so damned hard and unfulfilling to write this stuff down, without someone to give me feedback and support, to inspire me emotionally, but I tell myself that information is power, and the Good Guys need all the tools they can get, and so I force myself to plug on and on. I hope I get everything done tonight. I just want to spend the next few days reading and watching TV--hard to do all this mental work when I am so emotionally depressed---walking around, fantasizing about things as I did as a teenager, might have got the energy flowing, but the inspiration is still flat. Doesn't matter, though--just like my emotional life would nurture and feed my spiritual life if I were healthy, but is not absolutely requisite for it, so a healthy and vibrant emotional life (even if I could just be my physsically healthy and active person as before) would nurture my intellectual life, but is not requisite for it. Loneliness and isolation just makes everything a lot harder, and no doubt, some dumbass Jesuit somewhere (for the Jesuits have been the human henchman for Leviathan for quite a while now), thinks this is going to create conversion--no, just misery.

I haven't read my previous post yet,

I haven't read my previous post yet, to try to figure out what gaping holes I need to patch---I know that I left quite a few. If I had time, I could document more thoroughly my ideas, but I really don't have time. I constantly feel pulled to do a half-assed job, and move on to the next one. I will say that I am quite solid in my hypothesis' regarding the Watchers and the Aryans/Phoenicians as the lost tribe of Dan. As a matter of fact, I will go so far to say that this is what is taught in the higher levels of freemasonry--the secret, if you will. These freemasons are taught to believe that they are the "chosen ones" of God, and that the Moses who led the Israelite tribes to freedom, are mortal enemies who stole the secret technology (the ark) that they could have used for power (remember the high estate that Joseph attained?), and left them fighting for their lives, when the dragons of Planet X came through, at the time of the Exodus. Furthermore, these freemasons are on the front line of attack and defense for their alien Watcher overlords. That is why I have run into the screen name, "watcher", more than once on conspiracy sites--and they always prove my hypothesis right. As for me, I don't get hung up on all this bloodline and heritage stuff. Every Terran is my brother or sister--the Africans, the aborigines, the Chinese Asians, or the Lemurians or Mayans. For that matter, I have to say that the aliens are my brothers and sisters in God, the cosmic Christ, as well. Initially, I had a hard time accepting that I had reptilian genes, but you know, what is transmitted through the genes is not as important as what is felt and expressed in the heart. I am very unhappy with, and resistant to the aliens known as the Watchers, and their Nazi human underlings, not because of their genes, but because they have made of my life, a veritable hell. They have violated every tenet of human spirituality and ethics that I honor, respect and hope to propagate, unto the death. They have wrecked and mutilated my body without regard for free will, leaving me absolutely miserable in my own destroyed flesh. Even as I write this, my arms are pinned back in some unnatural position, so that they can shunt off meridians to my heart, in hopes of making me as unfeeling and violently angry as they are. To some extent, they have succeeded. I am certainly more irascible, but my spiritual convictions, while fed and nurtured by a healthy emotional life, do not depend on one. I don't know if I am ever going to live life as a normal human being in loving relationship with another again. For that matter, I don't know if I am ever going to be comfortable in my own body again, but as long as I live, I have to keep plugging away.
There will be an extensive post following this one, continuing with the luciferian threat as it plays out in current world affairs, but first I have to try to exercise. For the last two days, I have been unable to exercise--except for walking about 70 feet down the alley and back. I still don't feel well, but I have to try. I slept a very unrestful and unrefreshing four hours this morning, and my back hurts badly, especially since I no longer can do the exercises which once were a daily and regular staple of my life---when I had a life...

Fighting sleep

Fighting sleep, as I know the luciferians will begin another viral download as soon as I do, and after recent cranial, spinal, and implant changes, they are able to impact me, much more than before. I still feel that I am in control of myself, but am fighting constant irritability and misery in this freaked up, mutilated body. I have been trying to connect together a lot of pieces that I brought up in the post a few days earlier, but have not had much luck. Interestingly enough, the Wikipedia listings on Elijah Muhammad and Nation of Islam have undergone a radical revision since my posting, eliminating the quotes I pulled directly from their former sites. I should have copied and pasted from Wikipedia--for that is the limitation of Wikipedia--you have to know that agents of any ideological stripe can always change and fabricate entries (cults like Scientology, Mormonism and Opus Dei are notorious for this), and that is what they have done. Big money behind the Nation of Islam--and a lot of evil.

Right now, though, I am more concerned about the evil impacting me--specifically what I have dubbed the luciferian complex of the machine controlled collective hive mind. Actually, I think I can now trace the luciferian prehistory through Scripture. I don't have time to present a detailed exegesis, but I invite the reader to peruse Isaiah 27, Job 41, and Ezk. 28-29. The King of Tyre is mentioned as a "winged guardian" that God will call to judgment and destroy. Tyre is to the immediate north of Israel, the land of the Phoenicians, the great maritime sailors. The King of Tyre is also the one who cemented an alliance with King Solomon, the Apostate, by sending Hiram Abu, to work with Solomon in the crafting of the First Temple. (For those of you lucky enough to be ignorant of this, the prime ritual of Freemasonry revolves arount the ritual death of "Hiram Abif", a masonic craftsman and skilled builder). There is no doubt in my mind that it was Hiram/builders from Tyre who brought a high level of Canaanite occult knowledge and ritual to Solomon and the higher ranks of Jewish priestly aristocracy.

Where did the Phoenicians of Tyre get the knowledge? According to the extracanonical Book of Noah, which is a precursor to the more well-known Book of Enoch, the evil demon, "Samjaza" descended onto Mt. Carmel (some sources seem to indicate Mt. Hermon) with 200 of his angels. Both Mt. Carmel and Hermon are in the utter north of Israel. I put my money on Mt. Carmel, for that is actually the place from which the Essenes will come--and the Essenes are very tied into the story of the "Fallen Angels." For Samjaza and the 200 angels are "The Watchers" of the Book of Enoch. They also are the ones who had illicit sexual intercouse with women, and gave rise to the Nephilim, or giants, because this mating, while possible, results in aberrant genetics. Now, there have been multiple violations of human women by reptilians as well (and I think the Watchers and reptilians work in conjunction), but there is a difference--the former are minions of Lucifer, sons and daughters of Samjaza, while the latter are satanic spawn. The Watchers are seducers of women, while the reptiles are rapists of women. Read those books of scripture, and see how beautiful the king of Tyre was...

Now, the gospels tell us that Jesus forewarned us, that in the endtimes, it would be as it was in the times of Noah, that is the same evil that led God to destroy the Earth would be operative again. And so it is. The Watchers have returned, once more engaging in sexual aberrations, and abominable genetic experimentation. In order to see a "Watcher", I invite you to check out this video of an "Annunaki" or what I call "luciferian watcher," female:
I also refer you to the writings of Air Force officer Charles Hall on the "tall whites" of Nevada--Area 51 and nearby--to which our shadow (Nazi) government, has given free rein and access to live and research, in exchange for technology. Charles Hall was one of the few humans who could interact with the Watchers, for they had hair trigger tempers bordering on psychotic mental disorder, and thought nothing of killing humans whom they regarded as inferior. He also found it creepy, because as part of his job description, he had to allow them free access to observe his personal life--and they took full advantage. They would come in his home, unannounced, and just "watch" him, even while he showered! He suffered from the same lack of privacy that I do--constantly monitored by voyeuristic beings, except that he could go off post, and live a normal life for a few days. I cannot. I realized this morning that it was no accident that I encountered a PIB (prick in black) psychic staring right at me, 3 feet away, at the McDonald's counter. They knew from remote viewing me from across the street or driveway, that I was going to drive to McD's to pick up breakfast, and they were waiting for me! I am used to the fact that I have no physical or psychic (in my own imagination of my heart) privacy whatsoever, but every time I encounter one of those creepy luciferian psychics, I get sick to my stomach--they are like child molestors or peeping toms---a very, very yucky vibe.

So how do I know that these "tall whites" are the Watchers who bred with human women? Well, first of all, let me say that I am a genetic offspring of a Watcher-human hybrid. How do I know? Because of my surname, which derives from Clan MacGregor, which is also related to the surname Gregory or DiGregorio. All of these surnames denote a close genetic kinship with the original Watchers who spread their seed in ante-diluvian times. In fact, Gregor literally means "watcher". That is why the freemasons monitored my father, no doubt actively recruiting him into satanic and masonic ritual, and once, he passed on, the soulless freemason and satan worshipper who is my mother's husband, picked up the task. I was disappointing for quite a few years--a neurotic, lesbian kid who didn't show promise or ambition for much of anything--just very smart. Ever since the luciferian-implanted of the Spiritual Life Institute and Maurice Strong pegged me though, they have made up for lost time, and the contemporary watchers and their Nazi henchmen have implanted me, raped me, mutilated and cut me--all in the hopes of making me an avatar for their new new era of human enslavement.

I have seen that Youtube video of the Watcher female I just posted, before. But today, when I happen to stumble across it, I was taken aback in immediate recognition. I HAD HER EXACT SAME HAIR CUT! After weeks of procrastination, I finally got my hair cut. It has been driving me crazy, but I am like other victims of mind control that author Preston Nichols noted in his book, "Encounters In the Pleiades", and really suffer from a total disregard of self image. Hey, after years of being abducted every night, and experimented on, and cut on, and implanted on, and violated on, and raped on, having lost over half my muscle and most intimate flesh, and turned into a fucking fat, freakish blob, I just don't care about my appearance anymore. But, I wanted to get my hair radically cut. I couldn't decide between a buzz cut or the spiky haircut, that I always have admired on Irshad Manji. Why do I bother? My hair style was chosen for me. As I sat in the stylist's chair, I watched the stylist take a phone call through the mirror, and saw her disturbed and resistant face, and said to myself, "oh boy, the PIB's are giving her instructions. Wonder what she will do..." Well, she came back and gave me the haircut that I have now, which is the exact same hair cut--even parted on the same side--of the Watcher from Alice Springs Australia (hint hint). To be honest, the stylist was very kind to me after that phone call, and gave me a cleavage shot (which was nice of her), and really insisted upon me making the choice for my hair, but not being really interested in my self image, I just went with what she gave me. For unlike my previous haircuts, I now need to cover my forehead more, for the cranial manipulations have left me with a "frankenstein" forehead. Still, seeing the Watcher's haircut today has me freaking out--maybe I can dye my hair lime green. I guess I can part my hair on the other side, but I sure don't want to emulate a Watcher--especially since I know that is the purpose of all the genetic and bodily alterations. They want a Watcher/human hybrid, not by birth, but by genetic alteration of a living human to be one of their first lieutentants in the upcoming millenial change. They already have a corps of these watchers hybrids doing their master's bidding, including spreading disinformation on the internet.

But let me backtrack a little bit, because there is a lot of information that I have not covered. Where did Samjaza, the leader of the original Watchers come from? Orion, of course. As a matter of fact, the Hebrew tradition is that even though he was thought to be killed at the cliff of Harradan, he actually escaped to Orion. There seems to be a close alliance between the tall grays of Orion and these tall whites who claim to be from Arcturius (NOT!). I think, and this is pure speculation, that the tall whites are Sirians who have been conquered by Draconian reptiles who then genetically altered their progeny with reptilian DNA. I think that for two reasons--one is that an alternate name for Mt. Hermon is "Sirion", (spelled that way), and of course, the surrounding countryside has been called "Syria" for millenia. Secondly, these Watchers have a hair trigger temper, a lusting lechery, and xenophobia that borders on character disorder, and I think those genes for aggression, inordinate sexual appetite, and anti-social domination were grafted onto them by the reptiles. Finally, I know that there is a group of Sirians (from Sirius B?) who have been assimilated into the luciferian Borg collective of the machine hive mind. These tall Whites are not from Arcturius, but I can state with certitude, that Arcturius is the home planet claimed by the Luciferian Borg collective, and there is a phenomena on its way here from that star, arriving I think around 2012-2016 (which is in the back of my mind somewhere, but I always am dealing the crisis at hand--who has time to worry about 2015?).

So, now that we know who these Watchers originally were, how do we know who their progeny is? In short, they are of the Israelite tribe of Dan, lost and scattered in separate migrations--one probably originating from Egypt itself to the lands of Scotland, Ireland, and Britain--the Celts and Britons, and then previous and later migration by boat, especially after the Assyrian conquest and expulsion. These Israelite/Phoenician/tribe of Dan expatriates settled in Europe, most specifically, I would say Hungary, but also the surrounding countries of Austria, Germany, Romania, and the Balkans....How did the Phoenicians travel the world in their wooden ships? Well, read Job 41 again---Leviathan is not a creature. Leviathan is a marine UFO, and I suspect that the Phoenicians, being maritime navigators, had Watchers, in submersible UFO's, guiding them along their journey, just as Moses had his alien friendlies guiding him and his people into the Sinai desert.

I know this is going to seem really radical to a lot of people, but all this tension between Aryans and Jews, is, I do believe is a civil war between fraternal clans of the same patriarch--Jacob. There is plenty of evidence out there on the web to support what I have just laid bare in a few sentences. There is also plenty of evidence to suggest that Dan was the "black sheep" tribe of Israel (remember, their mother was a slave woman, much like Hagar was of Ishmael--it's never a good thing for the children when Mom is a slave). For the Danite offspring of the Watcher/human hybrids are the Aryans. What if the time of the Pharaohs/Exodus were similar to our present day. The priests and scribes would have known that Planet X was coming, and so would have the Watcher guardians of their hybrid offspring. They also would know that the reptilian in their DNA would make them susceptible to attact by the incoming dragons. So what if they took them off to Mars for a while, until attacks forced them back to Earth. It is what the reptilian hybrids are preparing for now, with all their underground bases and transports to Mars.

I think instead of seeing flying air craft, the Aryans, as Phoenician maritimers were much more used to UFO craft in the water (Job 41). This feature of extraterrestial contact has have a lasting impact upon our present day society in two ways. First of all, there is a little known, but hugely important, binding contract on all nations known as the "Law of the Admiralty". This basically is imperial law that denies nations their own self-determined sovereignty--and yes, that includes the United States of America. Jordan Maxwell has a much better understanding of this Law of the Admiralty than I do, but basically it is what allows the shadowy, conspiratorial forces to suck the lifeblood out of nations and citizens LEGALLY. In the case of the US, it most notably protects the Federal Reserve, which is a parasitical entity, feeding off the American taxpayer, in the amount of TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS, and contributing NOTHING. I think that for years, the force behind this Law of the Admiralty was the fear of Leviathan. Currently, the bureaucracy for the this Law of the Admiralty is the City of London (which is not London, but a secretive, shadowy enclave of bankers and lawyers in London). The United States is finally shaking off this Law of the Admiralty. Let's hope it succeeds. Once JFK realized what had been done by stealth, and took action to shake it off, it cost him his life, for there are REAL alien forces, "powers and principalities," behind the Law of Admiralty, a real Leviathan of the seas, and I think they are the remnants of the Watchers, and their kin, the Greys and Reptiles from Orion, and their human lieutenants, the Nazis (more on this tie later). The other lasting contribution to society that these Watchers left was their legacy of "divine right by kings." You see, they thought that the best people to govern (and who would know enough to kiss their evil asses) were the ones who had the purest blood of alien/human hybrids. Even my McGregor clankin motto is "We come from kings." There is a lot of information out there about the 13 Illuminati families, but I want to bring up one particular one, because it is going to be where this thread goes next (tomorrow--it is five in the morning), and that is the lineage of the Merovingians, which is of prominent importance right now . The Merovingians are an ancient, mostly dethroned lineage of Europe, but they have powerful occult connections. The original Merovingian Frankish king was said to be the result of a union between a "sea god" and a human woman. As a matter of fact, Poseidon had a son named Atlas. Atlantis means, "island of Atlas." So, as you see, they are very well connected. Probably the highest ranking Merovingian of royalty right now, because he actually has a throne to ascend, is William of Windsor. He descends from the Merovingians through his murdered mother, Diana Spencer of Stuart lineage. This is hugely important right now as occultic societies and lineages position themselves for dominance in the new Luciferian order they hope to usher be continued.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Getting strange looks again

Getting strange and alarmed looks again from people as I dropped into a local Circle K/McDonald's to pick up breakfast. I must look like I feel---very drugged up on some psychotropic, so that people think I am mentally ill. I think there was a luciferian psychic checking me out at McDonald's, another white, bearded guy, and even he looked shocked at my appearance. I don't know what lies the PIB/Nazi masters tell the luciferian drones to get them to do low level spy and surveillance work. I know they must be denied access to my posts or they would know. Anywaty, I am mentally tired and strung out, and wish that I could just go to bed and sleep or watch movies on tv, but as lousy as I feel, mentally, physically (back hurts so bad), spiritually, and emotionally, I have to plug on, be it ever so slow and arduously. It isn't going to get any better, and the sad truth is, that if something doesn't change, billions of people are going to end up feeling as unwell, hopeless, and enslaved as I do. Just take it one step at a time.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Very very sick

Very very sick--haven't had headaches and autism this bad in a long time---going to bed, but whatever the PIB's did to me on the latest astral run, they have left me very fucked up in every possible way---going to sleep. hope tomorrow is better---I can't live like this.

Found out

Found out why my body and brain feel so out of sorts. Took clothes off to shower, and saw that once again the sides of my torso and back had been shaved off, leaving a larger roll of fat in the back and more fat on the freak tits. There is already no room there. My boobs literally run under my armpits, and I cannot move them at all without getting my hands and arms caught up against my boobs. I am miserable beyond belief in this body, but until I am masectomized, there is nothing I can do about it. The Nazis also did something to my cranium--I am not sure what or how, but when I went to Q-tip my ears out this morning, after showering, my ear canal had nearly doubled in length! That is the second time that has happened--my ear canal extending. I don't know how or why....Just very depressed about the condition of my body...miserable in it.

Once again, woke up

Once again, woke up, feeling like my body had been completely disassembled and reassembled, with mismatching parts ill-fitting and misaligned. The entire left side of my body is off alignment with my right side, so I feel like Lurch, as I walk on mismatched legs. Even, sitting, the misalignment between my right and left sides drives me crazy. For what? For another of the Luciferian attempts to get me plugged into the machine, I guess. Well, I'm certainly not feeling very well, neither physically, nor spiritually nor emotionally.

The anterior top of my skull is tender, as it has been for the last few days--no doubt they are injecting something into there, but it no longer bumps up into a ball, as before, because they have elongated the entire top of my skull, into a rectangular-Lurch-like shape.

Once again, I find that I am emotionally disassociated from reality--I can always tell by my response to music, or rather, my lack of response to music. It is a peculiar feeling to be so disassociated--as if I AM a machine, with no feelings or desires, instead of an emotionally warm and responsive human being. I can certainly see how such a state creates the kind of monsters that the Nazi hybrids who have cut me up, have proven to be.

Finally, I am autistic---not able to bear stimuli from reality or do well at my "Solitaire game test." If I cannot hold cards in my memory, or miss possible plays, because I am not aware of the face cards, I am immersed in the autistic spectrum. Right now, judging from my poor performance of a few games, I would say that I am severely autistic. As a matter of fact, the brain is starting to shut down--eyes involuntarily closing etc. Another symptom of the autism is the ADD--can't focus or concentrate, even on inconsequential things. That is too bad, as I have got anotehr post to write. Furthermore, my brain isn't spelling words write. See the previous sentence. It keeps happening. I catch it, and change it, but it is difficult to write, when the brain isn't capable of spelling simple words. I tell myself that God and grace always comes through for me, when it absolutely has to happen, so I think I am going to be pretty mellow and just watch tv today. Certainly, I cannot think enough to write or read. Strange dream last night--ended up with me on life support at a hospital. Kinda like the way I feel--on spiritual life support--but I still have my soul and my spirit and my will, and if God pushes me to do something, I know that I will have the necessary greace. Right now I need to lie down.....
Oh, before I forget the dream also told me that the reason I am targeted so much is because the Nazi luciferians need a deeply spiritual person (not holy, mind you, just deeply spiritual), to sit on a stone (there's some stolen stone from Scotland, I think they are talking about), to connect with some stargate. I don't know. My brain is too messed up to think on or penetrate it. Thank God, I can spend the day in bed.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Lost day

Lost day, as I have struggled all day to shake off the ill effects of whatever psychotropic I am on now. Slept until lafter noon, and have been sick and sluggish all day. I seem to be gaining a little bit of a handle on what went down these past few days. Because nobody tells me the truth, I have to figure EVERYTHING out on my own, and sometimes it just takes time and multiple data to triangulate the truth. If I could just get people to tell me some things, I would be so much better off.

I would also be a lot better off if I wasn't so damned drugged all the time. I was so sick last night that I was going ouuut of my mine. All day, I have been struggling to focus. I think I may be on some kind of hormones---I remember these leg cramps I am now experiencing from before. And my mouth continues to be coated with mucous, while I struggle to do anything at all.

I can tell everything is very shaky right now, and I know that I need to post a little bit--maybe tomorrow. Right now, I have to try to sleep with this horrible drug in my system.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Fighting virus

Fighting virus on computer and energy weapons on self personally. Don't know how much longer I can take this--probably stupid not to go further but missing a piece.

Turn for the worst in all areas---Nazis have got their hands on Earthquake weapon, turned it on New Zealand, holding the world hostage claiming they will use it again on us (as in US). That is why Libya/quaddafi have turned so bad. His presence suits cabal. Obama (and to think a couple of days ago I have felt sorry for the guy) is once again strutting his fraudulent acting drama as the empty suit in chief. The Patriot Team sidelined. There are so many things going on---can't put them together---know that the kind of pain I am suffering from right not bearable--going to take pain pills, go to bed--but can feel virus in all of body--nazis once again have acesss to energy weapon they are turning on me.

Virus problems continue

Virus problems continue, but have to write a post after seeing Jared Lougher's side profile mug shot. With his shaved head, it is easy to see a dent in the backside of his head, level with the top part of his ear. I recognize that dent. I have one in the exact same spot on both sides of my head. Needless to say, I wasn't born that way. It started happening after the brain implants, and I suspect that, as with other scooped out and indented parts of my body where the implants are, that the implants are literally eating out healthy tissue. There is also something going on with his ear that I can't really see well without the Photoshop on my other computer (now in the shop, getting fixed for a virus, sigh). But I suspect that Jared may have been resistant to the mind control programming telling him to murder innocent people, so they literally latched a psychotronic weapon to his ear (could it have been someone from his own family?--make not mistake, they are involved in the mind control programming), so that he would hear the voices that would then compel him to kill. Maybe people are starting to realize how powerful and dangerously evil this mind control programming, as perfected by the Nazis and their evil alien technology, really is. I just saw a trailer from E.T. The Sequel. People are starting to get the message, but will it be in time?

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

A little worried

A little worried as I am having virus issues. I caught a wicked virus a couple of days ago that AVG could not clean out. So, I went to the partition menu, and debugged, and then did a system restore in safe mode. It got rid of the virus--at least there was no more "" sites coming up-- but the subsequent defrag revealed two fragmented AVG files that couldn't be moved. I suspect that they contain stub codes of the virus, and that somehow they are still able to initiate executables. I am going to do a dry run to see if the virus pops up again, and maybe uninstall/reinstall AVG, but I am writing this first, because of course, if my netbook comes down with a virus, it will severely curtail my research and posting activities. I can always use the library for 3 hours a day, but there is so much information that I have to digest, just to stay current with events, so that I can respond to crisis, that 3 hours a day isn't enough. I will just have to hope that the Lord will give me the opportunity and means should the need arise, just as S/He has always done. As for me, I have got 3 1/2 good, hardcover books to read, so I will stay occupied. Here's hoping I can get rid of the damned virus...

Now, those conservatives

Now, those conservatives who are constantly hounding for an investigation into Obama's birth certificate, can understand, why both Democrats and Republicans of the Patriot Leadership Team, who have been and are, fighting his mind-controlled agenda, want to let issue lie dormant. It would open a can of worms, that could cause the situation to spiral out of even the Good Guys' control. The American people, are so blinded and pap-fed by the media, pop culture, and a false ideological division (which thank God seems to be changing, ever so slightly for the better), that they could not begin to fathom the extent, depth, and breadth, by which we have been manipulated, controlled, and fleeced by completely hidden, immensely powerful, and alien conspiracy of evil whose end game is global destruction and a new 26,000 era of slavery.

All of the individuals that I mentioned in the former post are involved with this great luciferian fraud of an engineered and controlled "Mahdi", to lead and delude the population, especially Muslims, towards a global war in the Middle East. I have significant knowledge of names, factors, and details, but I fear that if I go into it, it will lead to a collapse of delicate negotiations, which all parties have agreed upon, as a necessary first step for their ultimate goals and objectives. I will say that the ritual culmination of this agreement is slated to be celebrated on the satanic feast of Beltane. At this point (and hour), I do not feel that it serves the purpose of God or the Good to undermine this. That could change, especially, if the conflagration in the Middle East continues to spin out of control. Of course, these have been well-plannned years in advance and are being orchestrated by the conspiracy of evil. Order out of chaos. I am glad that the people of Tunisia, Egypt, Libya, and Iran are fighting for change. If you look at their leaders' faces, you can see the cruel evil on them. Their countries, especially Libya and Egypt, deserve and need better, if they are to survive the upcoming conflagration. But, the chaos has gone beyond that. No government is perfect, and now the conspiracy of evil is trying to undermine every government in the region, so that they can put their puppets in place. Oh, and by the way, I wonder if the machine can impact the collective unconsciousness of a people, and if that is why Mubarak and the Tunisia leader are now in a "coma", while the luciferian machine manipulates their unconscious states to a fury and rage experienced in the depths of the unconscious of their living subjects. I especially worry about Iran, because they have been VERY busy, meddling in the affairs of the United States, not only intimately involved in the conspiracy to put a Manchurian candidate and closeted Muslim "Mahdi" in power, but also to prod him to take deeply traitorous actions such as setting off dirty bombs. Check out the contacts between Ahmadinajad?Iran and Farrakhan/Nation of Islam. They met last time the Iranian president was here, and I bet there is a LONG history of personal and phone contacts.

In closing, I would implore Barack Obama to live up to his paternal legacy, his true legacy. The bad news is that he has to give up his childish fantasy of an "African prince" for a father. The good news is that he a REAL, American prince of a father. True, Malcolm X was not a "King", but Malcolm did not have the benefits that his great peer and contemporary had--a supportive family and cultural institutions, which gave him a foundation, on which he could build a great and solid edifice. Malcolm X had to start by digging out his own foundation, after the original one was collapsed by the egregious harassment, murder (probably), and induced nervous breakdown, caused by the real and perniciously evil reacism, which destroyed his family. This is a tragedy of heartbreaking proportions, but unfortunately, some individuals are stalked by tragedy, and while there may be multiple collective forces of sin at work, still each individual is responsible for his or her own salvation. Malcolm X learned that, and worked that, not in a fantasy world, where he was a great prince, but in the real world, where he was a man of God, who had to strive and contend with demons, both personal and societal, and which eventually murdered him. I would hope that Obama could take up the mantle of manhood which Malcolm X earned for himself, by taking that first step towards personal responsibility and accountability, as Malcolm did--by getting down on his knees and praying to Almighty God for forgiveness of his sins and wasted years. Forget about bringing in Rev. Wright or any imam. Obama is so used to acting and lying that I do not think he can find sincerity except in his own heart and in the privacy of his own unsurvelled room. He can start by praying for the over 150,000 dead of Haiti, and the suffering of untold millions more, caused by his own selfish, narrowly centered ambition. Then he can move on to the destruction of the Gulf, and his conspiratorial agendas and plans for utter devastation of this country. Tall order, but his real father was a giant of a man, on his way to becoming a giant of spirit, so such a possibility is achievable. Still, no matter what, he will never be trustworthy as a leader of this country. This is sad to say, but God can open a window if a door is slammed. Malcolm X started going downhill when a teacher dashed his hopes of being a lawyer, telling him that "it's no use for a nigger to study law." (Maybe that is why I feel closer to Malcolm X than Dr. King--I was basically told the same thing about my vocational aspirations as a young woman). Too bad--he would have been a great lawyer, but he still found an honorable and creative way to serve humanity, so much so, that the Powers that Be wanted to steal his sperm, to mold and control his progeny. Prayers and blessings on all.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Wait until you taste a bite of this cookie...

Wait until you taste a bite of this cookie. I think the sperm donor of Barack Obama was not the Kenyan Barack Obama Sr., who claimed paternity (sorta, sometimes), nor Frank Marshall Davis, whose name I strongly suspect appears on the bogus, psuedo- birth certificate, that his scheming, resourceful grandmother had placed on the document in an attempt to claim legal status of citizenship for her grandson, who was born in either Canada or Kenya. No, incredible as it seems, I think Obama's sperm donor is Malcolm X. I know that you find this difficult to believe. The first time that I read the proposed possibility, put forth by RMN editor, Rayelan Allan, I found it uncredible. However, because everything about Barack Obama is a staged platform of lies, I kept the circumstances of his birth an open question in my head. A few days ago, Rayelan popped out with another theory, writing in a post, that she didn't believe "that he was conceived, so much as created." With all the genetic tampering and sperm/ova stealing going on, I conceded that she had a point, and well, the mind started going down the garden path. Before I continue with the completely wild details of my proposed hypothesis, I invite you to watch this Youtube video, paying close attention to the young child and teen photos of Malcolm X. I also recommend that you pause at 4:44 and 9:01. Those are shots of Malcolm without his eyeglasses, and the similarity is striking:

Before I continue, let me say that I have the greatest respect for Malcolm X, and an empathetic sensitivity for his genetic son. For, I have children out there in the world, for whom I am an ova donor and sole progenitor of their DNA, but for whom I could/can never provide a family setting of values, discipline, and educational guidance, and I worry, pray, and hope for them sometimes, in the same way that any moral person would do for their own unknown flesh and blood. Malcolm X was a deeply moral person, and like me, I don't think he was ever consulted for permission to use his sperm. It is conceivable, but I have read his autobiography, and I know how morally strict he was regarding sexual relations---so much so that he fell out with his mentor, Elijah Muhammad, over the elder's illicit sexual relations. Also, Malcolm knew the hardships and dangers that befall a youth who grows up, without a father or loving, nurturing family, and after he lost six years of his liberty, and nearly lost his soul, and had to claw back to regain it, I don't think he would ejaculate in a cup as his sole contribution to a future human being. No, I think Malcolm had the same experience that I, and so many others, have had, and was an abductee who was milked for his sexual seed.

Where to start? I think it best to start with the Nation of Islam, because most people are probably like me, and think that this is a "hating", racist kind of Black Pride sect, but have never probed deeply into it. I was a Religious Studies major, and I never did. I knew that I found their demeanor as revealed on their faces to be creepy and offputting. Just look at them--Elijah Muhammad, Louis Farrakhan, and the New Black Panther (a spin-off) guy whose name I can't remember. Those faces give me the heebie-jeebies; they literally remind me of a child molester, a satanist, and/or a LUCIFERIAN. I am going to drop another bombshell on you about the my appraisal of someone who has the exact same LUCIFERIAN demeanor and vibe-- Valerie Jarrett's father, Dr. Bowman. If he is not a closeted Black Muslim (check out the bow ties), he belongs to the same luciferian clique which originated, funded and empowered the Black Muslim cult to the prominence that it enjoys today. Oh, and by the way, her mother, Barbara Bowman, is trained in the same neuro-linguistic programming that Barack Obama, following the likes of Hitler, used so effectively and hypnotically in the 2008 campaign. There is a lot of material to write down, but eventually it is, I hope, going to all tie in together-- Chicago, Black Muslims, Obama, luciferian cults, Valerie Jarrett, Rahm Emanuel, Tony Rezko, his two Pakistani college buds (and quite likely "fuckbuddies" as well), Bill Ayers, and the rest of the Chicago luciferian cabal that got Obama elected, not to mention the big heavies behind the scene.

Still, I will start way back in the Atlantean times when the Agarthans, allied with the Luciferians dominated the entire Middle East in slavery, through the energy weapons of the pyramids which were able to negatively blanket and mind control the population for thousands of miles. I know how sick I got from three 2" pyramids in my yard---imagine what an energy weapon aimed at the tri-monoliths of Giza could do...Well, the Atlanteans nearly destroyed the planet, and Moses threw salt in their evil game by stealing the energy source of the ark, but these luciferians, plugged into a machine virtual reality world, didn't die or disappear--they went underground, and while they may pop up occasionally throughout history--Essenes, Gnostics, Cathars, Knight Templars, freemasons, Bavarian Illuminati etc.--mostly they stayed very low profile, gaining power, money, and adherents to their cause, while they waited. Waited. For they knew that a pivotal time was coming that couldn't be rushed or denied. The stars (of which they were secretive masters, keeping their knowledge hidden) would align in 2012 with the galactic center and Orion, finishing off historic eras on several levels, including the 26,000 years of an epoch. These Luciferians were waiting for the time to seize power, and usher in a new 26,000 year epoch, in which their families ruled, the machine stole and trapped souls to feed its need for brain-generated holographic imagery, and the reptiles got to enslave a race through crystals in the brain which destroyed individuality and led to collective, hive-mind slavery, while they fed off the hapless victims' hormonal secretions and blood. They were in every religion, and culture (through various fraternal orders such as freemasonry and Knights of Malta), and as time grew short, they grew bolder, so that the theosophists, occultists, freemasons, "goblins, orcs, and demons," all waxed fat and prospered.

Into this rising ferment, a little-noticed, new Luciferian sect sprouted with no fanfare or initial power. The Nation of Islam was founded by a strange man, " 'Wallace Fard' Muhammad" (one of multiple aliases he used) whose draft card claimed that he was from SHINKA, AFGHANISTAN, LATITUDE 32.14 (33) AND LONGITUDE
66.06. It is located in the mountainous province known as ZOBUK, which has been the site of intense fighting a long time. Now the following is a picture of WFM:

While I am no expert, I have been watching the news on Afghanistan for the last 8 years, and he does not look like an Afghani tribal mountain man to me. He does look Middle Eastern. I am wondering if the longitude and latitude occultic significance (I keep finding slight variants, but you get the picture) is what caused him to claim that town of Shinka as his home. Or maybe there is something there? Maybe a vimana (ask Sorcha), or giants? Because, on the exact same latitude, on the other side of the border is the town of ZOBAL, IRAN. The interesting thing about Zobal, Iran, is that it is the site of an ancient civilization and multiple giant bones (the giants of course, are the fallen angels, the Nephilim, from the bible, and they are associated with the flying alien craft). Finally, another town on the exact same latitude is Shiraz, Iran, where Dr. Bowman spent several years.

Aah, the innocence of last century America, when you could emigrate, claim a whole new identity, and start a whole new life and religion... Now WF Muhammad started this Nation of Islam in the early 30's, but he DISAPPEARED in 1934. According to his sect, he didn't die. He boarded the "Mother Plane" of which he taught--"it is spheres within spheres, circular, capable of abrupt changes and immense speeds." The Nation of Islam still believes that HE IS ALIVE ON THE MOTHER PLANE. (God, I sure hope Malcolm X isn't; he deserved better than that). According to Wikipedia, the Black Muslims claim that "Fard taught us the measurements of earth, and other planets, and of civilizations of other planets other than Earth." Those mountainous tribes of Afghanistan have quite the educational system--or maybe it has something to do that 33 degree latitude, on which there are ruins and artifacts and hidden knowlege and societies which is carefully kept hidden from outsiders, but which a petty criminal and chump like WFM was happy to share, far from censure of his homeland.

Elijah Muhammad, who took over, is quite the character himself, but I just am going to bring up one quote of his, found and sourced in wikipedia, and that is, "I seen enough of the white man's brutality to last me 26,000 years". This is important because it tells me that Elijah Muhammad, like the Nazis and occultists, is completely attuned to, and guided by the the upcoming (2012) processional alignment that moves into a new constellation (or "new age") every 26,000 years. Given the quote, and his religion's well known superiority complex, my guess is that they are working, with more powerful and numerous allies, to make sure that in the upcoming age, their world view and values prevail.

So, who would ally themselves with the Black Muslims? Well, the big aggregate in alliance is Iran. Now, remember, Iran consider themselves separate from Arabs--they are "Persians" (as in the long-haired, smooshed-faced, prima donna cats). As Shiites, they also espouse a slightly different version of Islam. For the purpose of this essay, the most important difference is the emphasis they place on the end times (and remember, we are in the end times of the 26K epoch) return of the "Mahdi", which is analogous to our conception of the Second Coming of Christ. The Mahdi, according to the Shia tradition is the last of a disrupted line of imams (ministers), who will bring about a "one-world government", peace and justice between nations, and the acceptance of the true religion, Islam, by all. So, who is the Mahdi? In the historical legend, which to the faithful is truth, he was the last of the great (12) imams, who had an interesing break with his presence on Earth. He kinda, sorta, semi-died, but not really. He was hidden in God, in a state the Shiites call, "occultation." The duped New Agers call it "Ascension"; I cll it soul-trapping stasis, life-denying limbo, all done for the pleasure and amusement of the luciferian machine. But it is the Mahdi's return for which the Muslims wait.

So, who is he? Well, Louis Farrakhan told us, when he called Obama, "the Messiah", not just once, but several times. Because Farrahkhan is Muslim, he couldn't state the title that he really meant, that was really appropriate to his belief system, and the historical fact of Obama's "conception" as he knew it, "Obama is the 'Mahdi.'" The way I figure it, is that the luciferians were on the lookout for someone special to be "the Mahdi" around the year 2012-2020, as we enter the great 26K astrological processional change. They may have even had special DNA on file (the "disappeared Mahdi youth from the 10th century?), and memories they wished to implant (DNA is memory--it is memory of the entire history of the being). But they wanted a dynamic, charismatic leader, and who, in 1959, makes a trip to the Middle East, after garnering scorn, controversy, AND results in the most technologically and culturally dominant country on Earth--why it is Malcolm X. Not only does he have the requisite, Afro-Asiatic look, so reminiscent of the "Grand Old Pharaohs" (GOP'ers--sorry, it's late, and I'm tired, and I need to laugh to keep awake) of long forgotten yore, but he also has PRIME, reptilian blood in him. Yes, he has Scottish blood (1/4) and a tinge of red in his hair. I have Scottish blood too, and I, as a Scottish descendant, consider myself a "son of Cain", a very powerfully aggressive strain of reptilian DNA. I'm not bragging. I am who I am, just as we all are who we are, and I have had to learn to live with my limitations, and that includes a real temper sometimes, and a foul mouth way too much of the time. Forget me, back to the Mahdi.

The high ranking Illuminati and cabal who want to "create" (the omnipresent refrain of evil greys and reptiles, "we created you and you belong to us.") and control the 21st century Mahdi are very impressed with Malcolm X. I can see why. I am a Christian lesbian, and I find him not only to be a man of holy spirit and authority, but also, someone who recognizes that the life of the spirit never stops or rests. The true spiritual person is constantly called to faithful conversion and psychological growth. They already have the technology (remember, we are talking about luciferian aliens here) and the ability to abduct Malcolm X, and take his sperm. They need a female to carry the child and contribute to his genetic makeup (Obama is not a clone; he is his mother's son, too), and they also need someone, a human, to work with them in the process. Well, the mother is Ann Dunham, who spends time in Chicago, around 1960. She is a vulnerable teenager, reared in a satanic family (which of course means that she has been sexually initiated and/or abused at an early age), who already is having sex with a Black man (Frank Marshall Davis, just as, I think, are her own mother and father--very dysfunctional family). I think she consented to the artificial insemination/imregnation, because she was so unhappy at home, wanting to get out.

The human doctor they choose to help in the process was Dr. Bowman, a pathologist, hemotologist and geneticist. I think he astrally stole Malcolm X's sperm, and either physically implanted it in young Ann, in Chicago (do the dates match up?), or astrally inseminated/impregnated her. One thing to be aware of, is that Obama's birthdate might not be August, but rather January--at one point he blurted out that at the time of the Cuban Missile crisis, I "was only 3 months old." It could just be a mental slip, but Obama has never struck me as a Leo. When he was a candidate, he was approached by a media camera crew and asked to give his opinion on the violent confict that had just broken out (Georgia, I think). A Leo loves the camera and the spotlight, and would not respond as Obama did, staring glumly at his plate, "Can't I just eat my waffles?" Of course, Barack Obama has layer upon layer of mind control, and so, no matter what his astrological sign, it is "afflicted". It also is interesting how someone who babysat in August and September found the baby, "large," which it would be if it were 3 months older than told. After all, it had to take Madelyn Dunham time, to find out and get the baby registered. I think she was the one who put Davis' name on the certificate. Because Davis was a satanist and swinger like her, she thought she would always be able to blackmail him, if she had to (lovely woman...).

Why do I say Dr. Bowman was "the man" to assist with the artifical insemination? Well, he is definitely luciferian. It is clear just by looking at him. My guess is that he got involved with the occultic freemasons early on. After getting his medical degree, he worked for the army (of which you can rarely find mention). He was a "nutritionist!", yet his speciality was pathology, hematology, and genetics. Sounds like a typical military service "cover" to me. After all, the luciferians are interested in CHANGING THE BLOOD COMPOSITION, which makes a lot of people, SICK. The end result of the blood changes is to change the DNA--genetics. Furthermore, after leaving the military, he went to Shiraz, Iran, which was the original home of Iranian freemasonry. He went under the auspicices of the State Department (hmmm, from military to state department). Finally, his several year stint ended in 1961! Mission accomplished! Malcolm X's sperm safe and sound in the new little baby in Ann Dunham's womb. Oh, and Barack Sr--he and Ann probably got it on, but he was a Marxist college student--wasn't too hard to get his cooperation in the matter. If he did claim the child, Ann could have the baby in Canada for free, as a birth of a British subject. Maybe however, other forces were at work. That same old bogeyman, Maurice Strong, who I think was genetically tampered with at conception himself, would have found a hospital for her in Canada.

Poor Malcolm. He couldn't have known that Detroit and Chicago were literally, centers of satanic worshipp, and correspondingly, hot spots for alien activity, and that even in the 50's, the aliens were abducting, and tampering with fetuses in the womb. After all, I was genetically tampered with in the womb in Detroit in 19561/1962 (originally, I put "1951"--maybe that is when the stargate was activated and abductions begun), and so were others.

Well, I am half through, but I have got to go to bed. So, tell me dear reader, do you really think I would be better put to use baking cookies? Of course, I could have always followed Ratzinger's and my campus minister's directive, and not studied theology in college (since as a woman, I would have no use to which I could put my knowlege, since I wasn't in the image of Christ and therefore would never be ordained). Do you understand my anger now, when people try to tell me who I am and what I should be, and destoy what God gave me, because they are too spiritually small and puny to let me express my life in the fullness of intersexed being with which I was created, and struggled mightily to positively integrate?
Tired. the other half tomorrow

Working on another line

Working on another line, but once again distracted by the need to assert my self-identity as a LESBIAN. Woke up in tears once again, while the cabal does their little mind control thing and dope me the fuck up, thinking they are going to get control of mind. Woke up feeling like every part of my body was mismatched and out of place and joint, and God has already told me that when the rehab begins, that I am going to suffer months of pain and health problems---and that is just to get a healthy, fit body again, not the strong, muscular body I once was so proud to inhabit. It is clear to me that becoming alienated from my own body is actually a designed tactic by the cabal, so while I will be the first to say that I am very alienated from and disgusted with my body, I am not going to let it play games with my head. I am going crazy because they played with my back and put the goddamned dripping fat boobs in my way for everything, but I purposely don't think about it.

Have to say though, it is bad enough that I suffer mind control games at the hands of the cabal every nitht in my sleep. I don't need anymore from the blissed out, cultic beings whose job it is to monitor me now. You want to help me--relate to me, get me the help out of the trap I am in. But you really don't do you? You want a traditionally feminine (YUCK!), heterosexual for you to fantasize on. Well, it won't happen. I don't have what men want---and yeh, there's no doubt that some of you secretly cheered while my body was systematically castrated, cut up, and destroyed---but it is not the body that is the problem. It is the BRAIN--THE LARGEST SEX ORGAN IN THE BODY. It is the feminine which complements and delights me, which feeds me not only spiritually and emotionally, BUT WHICH ARE THE ONLY ONE I CAN COUNT ON TO PROTECT AND SUPPORT ME, for these last few years. Yes, I have known men who protected and supported me as a peer and colleague, but to be honest, it has been over fifteen years ago. So bring your daddies with the toddlers, eat the bananas, do what the fuck ever you want. I am an intersexed being, a man in a woman's body, and I am desperately lonely to be cared for, caressed, and supported in a way that only a woman can do. What I would like from men is what men are best at--protection and support--but instead I get this bullshit mind games. PFFFFFTTTT. There is a woman in my future--I have been promised it. If my lesbian sexuality bothers you, leave me alone--I'm better off there, than with false, cultic, love-bombing friends. And when it comes to female friends and peers, I like STRONG, LIBERATED, ANDROGYNOUS women---the traditional, sweet, "stay at home and bake cookies" type (and that is for one of my fave strong women and protectors who has proved to me, THROUGH ACTION, that I can count on her support, BORE ME STIFF, both sexually and as acquaintances. I will be the first to admit that sweet cookie bakers are necessary for little kids, but I haven't been a little kid in years, and I left teaching to deal with recalcitrant, violent young men, because I found it more satisfying to break up fights and get spit on and cussed out, than to get hugs and childish appreciation (which are delightful on occasion, but in the end, don't bring out the best and the most in me). So there--now excuse me. I got cookies to bake.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Maybe I like it better

Maybe I like it better when I am under a time crunch and don't have to feel about what is going on in my personal life. A little bit of an epiphany today--I was feeling like I was beating a dead horse regarding the catholic church. I mean, come on, how long, HOW LONG, can the goddamned religionists abuse and violate another person's free will. Well....the answer is FOREVER. Especially if you happen to be female, which the damned celibate men think they own. Hey, I should consider myself lucky. A few centuries ago, I would have been burned at the stake in my 20's.
Pftfff......goes on and on and on. I'm sure the sickass mind controllers continue telling everyone the same old story...."just give us till this Lent, till this Christmas, and on and on."
Jesus, what does it take to give these spiritually half dead men off my back? Oh, well lets mutilate and cut up her body, and make her an unattractive fat blob so she will never attract another lesbian again, and THEN she will want to be a nun....YOU STUPID GODDAMNED FUCKS. You have never known me, never talked to me, never related to me, and never inspired me. I was stupid enough, and dysfunctional enough to waste a lot of time and money at one point, but when I recognized the irreconcilable difference in values, spirituality and outlook, I GOT THE HELL OUT. But you keep at it and keep at it. I believe that it is probably Opus Dei religionist types who are the ones playing mind control games with me, while they look for someone, a "saint" to save their institution. Of course, they deplore Kolvenbach and Ratzinger, but they don't get it---their religion as they practice it is part of the problem, not the solution. How did Ratzinger get to be Pope? A top tier satanist of such depraved evil depths, that anyone with two eyes in their head can see it. But the good catholics couldn't. That "great saint" of the 20th century, John Paul II couldn't. Oh yeh, he had Kolvenbach figured out, but don't kid yourselves--Kolvenbach and Ratzinger work hand in hand, and no doubt celebrate Black Masses together.

But for mind-controlled religionists, they cannot see reality, because they are blinded by dogma. John Paul II targeted Kolvenbach because of his liberalism, while he was utterly oblivious that the man with whom he had near daily intercourse was utterly satanic. Fooled, because he didn't discern spirit to spirit, but only looked to see the dogma which someone professes that they believe. Sadly enough, John Paul II, though truly a great and holy man, had all the limitations of patriarchal religionism. I suspect that if he had been married, had been intimately involved with a female--AS AN EQUAL, NOT THE WAY, CATHOLIC PRIESTS RELATE TO WOMEN, that his intuition would have caught on. Not only that, his writing would have been a lot more alive and vibrant, instead of being an example of the sterile, masculine hyper-rationalism that I wrote about a couple of days ago. It is the these catholic men who are responsible for my brain damage, my body mutilation, and my years of suffering. Funny thing is, they think suffering leads to salvation. WRONG. It is the sense of spiritual salvation and meaning that helps one endure suffering, but ANYONE who would inflict suffering, deliberate and sustained, onto another human being possessing free will, is sadistic and mind controlled. Yet that is what Opus Dei is all about. They gave me the creeps in college, and they give me the creeps now. No, I have moved on from these patriarchal religious institutions which are abusive, dysfunctional, and worst of all, unbelievably stupid. I am wondering if the reason that JPI's body was exhumed was to make sure the luciferians didn't get hold of his brain to put in limbo. After all, there were plenty of catholic prelates around, who owe their allegiance to lucifer and Satan, who would have assisted the machine. I hope that didn't happen. Great spirits need to resurrect for the good of the future of humanity. Yet, the problems in the church are so grave that such is the situation, and it is not salvageable. ALL patriarchal religion is obsolete in the upcoming paradigm--it may take a score or two, but the death knell is clear to me, whether I listen to a mass of herd mind Muslims shout, "To Jerusalem, millions of maryrs", or I see the luciferian scoop marks on the Dalai Lama, or read the writings of these Opus Dei (at least as much as I can bear--not very much).

Anyway, the reason this all came about, is that I am suspecting that some of these blissed out people I am seeing, may not be luciferians at all, but allies in a way--and hopefully more respectful of my free will and self-identity than so many of the people with whom I have looked to for support in the past. I don't know. Maybe I am safer than I think. Maybe all I have to do is interdimensionally jump. I still think that I could do it my way better, instead of being in a pain-wracked, mutilated body, constantly suffering from these viral downloads, which have left me so crippled that not only can I not walk, I cannot even sit on my heels--basic sitting pose of yoga.

Well, I am not going to make any snap decisions--most certainly can't right now, as I am very drugged up, but I am going to try to be a little bit more receptive towards some of these options and possibilities. Sorry Catholics, that does not include you. Too much suffering, too much pain, too much loss and grief. Anyone who can not relate to me as a lesbian, who are uncomfortable with strong, muscular female bodies, and who secretly rejoice and laugh at my pathetic, mutilated state, instead of being outraged at the castration done to me---well, let me take my cue from centuries of religionist dogma--"You are anathema to me."

Time to try to sleep while the goddamned drugs fuck with me...don't even know how much of it is viral download, and how much of it is just Opus Dei mind games to make me think I am crazy. They are pouring it on...probably pissed because they can't handle the truth.

Lithium spread

Lithium spread--I know that I am being force fed lithium because of my ever expanding abdomen. They may only be giving me lithium at night--which is why I go crazy at nite and have the brain rushes that I remember lithium giving me--but it is still putting on a pound a day AND GODDAMN IT, THERE IS NO RAGE, NO CURSES, NO TEARS, NOTHING THAT CAN EXPRESS MY ANGER AND DEPRESSION OVER THIS.

My belly is growing and growing, bigger and bigger fatter and fatter, every single day, and I am absolutely powerless to stop it, as the goddamned chemicals they force feed me are causing it. I don't know how much longer I can go through this before all I will be able to wear are mu mu style dresses, or for that matter, before I become one of those people who are bedridden by their extreme obesity. I will check my weight tomorrow, but it really isn't indicative for I HAVE LOST NEARLY HALF OF MY MUSCLE which skews the weight gain, but I can tell by the expanding belly and the way my clothes fit, or rather don't, that the belly is expanding to ever increasing obscene amounts. My entire torso looks like the Michelin Man---rolls and rolls of fat where the once strong, defining muscles of my back and chest have been cut out. Indeed, my body is freakish to look at--no back at all--just belly and boobs (but not the proud, crested, maternal boobs that I had when they rode high on my God-given breast bone, but just drops of dripping fat that disgust me to look at or feel), fat ass and rounded, fat thighs.

I know that part of the jesuit/nazi agenda in creating this obscenity of a body is to alienate me from it, so that I will be more vulnerable to their mind manipulation games. Indeed, I think they wish me to go over the edge into schizophrenia. Years ago, when all this shit first started, and I talked to the DOM, Rebecca, that I was seeing, and asked why was this (being drugged) happening to me, and she (who had just been brought on board), smiled and said, "maybe to make you think you are crazy." She knew, what I figured out was the SLI's plan from the get go---make her think she's crazy, so that she will have some kind of conversion experience. The stupidity of their assinine views on spirituality--I don't even want to go there because I am so angry at myself for ever having had anything to do with those sick ass patriarchal perverts who are kin to the goddamned Nazis who are destroying my body right now...But anyway, that was the story they told Rebecca, and surely anyone else (in the initial stages of the deception---"we want her to think she is crazy." No you motherfuckers, you want me to GO bloody insane, and not tell the difference between reality and imagination, so I will believe all your goddamned lies that you channel through so many other poor New Age victims, and so that can get me trapped in the luciferian hell that is your interdimensional reality.

You also are trying to mold me into a matriarchal figurine of "the goddess", all boobs and belly. You stupid, goddamned little boy fucks. You are infantile babies looking for a teat to suck. Interestingly enough, I always considered the only part of the feminine identity with which I identified to be maternal, but not a maternal figure for an infant, but a strong, powerful maternal figure, who believes that while the time of childhood is important and to be respected, the purpose of a good mother is to expect and hope for the day when her children are ADULTS. When I worked in the correctional facility, wards would approach me and tell me that they dreamed I was feeding them. Well, guess what? I was the point "cop" on the unit--I had the highest expectations and demands, unlike so many of my peers who just decided that the wards were hopeless, and just phased out, collecting 50K a year, while they basically were babysitters who took the path of least resistance.

For years, I tried to find a vocation as a strong mother in patriarchal religion. There is only one role in patriarchal religion that fits me---PRIEST. You fucking perverted religionists want to be "fed" by me, but not in the SPIRITUALLY MATURE way of ritual Eucharist and feminine priestly leadership and authority. Instead, you are infantile boys (and this all a male trip), who want a matriarchal goddess of big belly and boobs for you to trap in your mind, always ready to titty feed you, "on demand", just like the profane boys in men's bodies trap the feminine as "sex goddess" instead of "mother goddess", spending hours, looking at the stylized, naked bodies always ready to fuck them "on demand". "In your mind, in your mind, it all goes down in your mind"--that Johnny Cash song sings of the psychologically infantile, whose mental entrapments make the transition to healthy and empowering ADULT relations with reality almost impossible.

Well, congratulations, after years of abuse, and realizing how psychologically immature religionist men are, I gave up on a religious vocation--not once, but twice. I find the people who are interested in being "fed" by the REAL me, who respect my person, intellect, body, and deepest identity, are not to be found in patriarchal institutions. As the ProphetIsaiah said, "The Lord says, 'See,I am making something new.'" And yes indeed, I see that--and those are the people I WANT to feed, spiritually, intellectually, emotionally, and hopefully one day, with one special woman, sexually. T(hose are the people I want to feed--the people willing to do the hard work of spiritual and psychological growth to a mature, androgynous (in the sense that each person is an integrated whole, and not a gender-differentiated, role-identified half) INDIVIDUATION.

That is what all of my suffering and my resistance is about. We are in the countdown to a pivotal time--2012 is the epochal year in which the die will be cast for the next millenia. Who will win? The new luciferian evil on the block which will cast the world in complete spiritual and psychological totaltarian slavery, which will make the mind control tactics of the past several centuries of patriarchal control, look amateurish. Same old, same old--instead of patriarchal mind control tactics and framework of aggression, dominance and inequality, the luciferians will pull the mind control strings using a fat-bellied, big-boobed "mother goddess" feeding the infants on demand--feeding them not only a welfare state diet of their daily bread and beer (just like the pyramid building Egyptian slaves of old), but also feeding them with a steady dose of passive entertainment that keeps their minds and hormones stimulated for the amusement of their machine and reptilian overlords. Instead of the anxiety, insecurity and constant striving created by the nmind control lie, "No matter what I do, Father will never love me," society will be mind controlled by the passively dependent, deceptively gentle and omnipresent delusion, "No matter what I do, Mommy will always love me." Both of these heretical ideological/cultural framework of values have the exact same goals--to keep the population infantile and powerless ("no matter what I do").

Well, as a young woman, I saw through the lies and failings of patriarchal mind-control, but guess what, I can see through the lies and failings of matriarchal mind-control just as clearly. You may turn my body into a grossly obscene exaggeration of some prehistoric matriarchal goddess figurine, but my heart, mind, and spirit will never go there. Furthermore, as conservative as I am regarding money, but I am willing to bet every centavo I have, every cell and fiber of my INTERSEXED being, that you luciferians FAIL. I am putting my money, my heart, spirit and every cell (yes even the grossly obese, FAT ones you pigs are responsible for) on the new and emerging paradigm of maturity, androgyny, and individualism on the psychological and spiritual levels, and a new sense of awareness and empowerment in an expanded interdimensional and interconnected world. So there.

Now, I have to go do the only exercise available to me, since I can no longer work out, do yoga, or even walk for any distance--bicycle. As losing a battle as it is, I have to try to keep up my health as best I can. But I'll be back...