Sunday, February 20, 2011

Maybe I like it better

Maybe I like it better when I am under a time crunch and don't have to feel about what is going on in my personal life. A little bit of an epiphany today--I was feeling like I was beating a dead horse regarding the catholic church. I mean, come on, how long, HOW LONG, can the goddamned religionists abuse and violate another person's free will. Well....the answer is FOREVER. Especially if you happen to be female, which the damned celibate men think they own. Hey, I should consider myself lucky. A few centuries ago, I would have been burned at the stake in my 20's.
Pftfff......goes on and on and on. I'm sure the sickass mind controllers continue telling everyone the same old story...."just give us till this Lent, till this Christmas, and on and on."
Jesus, what does it take to give these spiritually half dead men off my back? Oh, well lets mutilate and cut up her body, and make her an unattractive fat blob so she will never attract another lesbian again, and THEN she will want to be a nun....YOU STUPID GODDAMNED FUCKS. You have never known me, never talked to me, never related to me, and never inspired me. I was stupid enough, and dysfunctional enough to waste a lot of time and money at one point, but when I recognized the irreconcilable difference in values, spirituality and outlook, I GOT THE HELL OUT. But you keep at it and keep at it. I believe that it is probably Opus Dei religionist types who are the ones playing mind control games with me, while they look for someone, a "saint" to save their institution. Of course, they deplore Kolvenbach and Ratzinger, but they don't get it---their religion as they practice it is part of the problem, not the solution. How did Ratzinger get to be Pope? A top tier satanist of such depraved evil depths, that anyone with two eyes in their head can see it. But the good catholics couldn't. That "great saint" of the 20th century, John Paul II couldn't. Oh yeh, he had Kolvenbach figured out, but don't kid yourselves--Kolvenbach and Ratzinger work hand in hand, and no doubt celebrate Black Masses together.

But for mind-controlled religionists, they cannot see reality, because they are blinded by dogma. John Paul II targeted Kolvenbach because of his liberalism, while he was utterly oblivious that the man with whom he had near daily intercourse was utterly satanic. Fooled, because he didn't discern spirit to spirit, but only looked to see the dogma which someone professes that they believe. Sadly enough, John Paul II, though truly a great and holy man, had all the limitations of patriarchal religionism. I suspect that if he had been married, had been intimately involved with a female--AS AN EQUAL, NOT THE WAY, CATHOLIC PRIESTS RELATE TO WOMEN, that his intuition would have caught on. Not only that, his writing would have been a lot more alive and vibrant, instead of being an example of the sterile, masculine hyper-rationalism that I wrote about a couple of days ago. It is the these catholic men who are responsible for my brain damage, my body mutilation, and my years of suffering. Funny thing is, they think suffering leads to salvation. WRONG. It is the sense of spiritual salvation and meaning that helps one endure suffering, but ANYONE who would inflict suffering, deliberate and sustained, onto another human being possessing free will, is sadistic and mind controlled. Yet that is what Opus Dei is all about. They gave me the creeps in college, and they give me the creeps now. No, I have moved on from these patriarchal religious institutions which are abusive, dysfunctional, and worst of all, unbelievably stupid. I am wondering if the reason that JPI's body was exhumed was to make sure the luciferians didn't get hold of his brain to put in limbo. After all, there were plenty of catholic prelates around, who owe their allegiance to lucifer and Satan, who would have assisted the machine. I hope that didn't happen. Great spirits need to resurrect for the good of the future of humanity. Yet, the problems in the church are so grave that such is the situation, and it is not salvageable. ALL patriarchal religion is obsolete in the upcoming paradigm--it may take a score or two, but the death knell is clear to me, whether I listen to a mass of herd mind Muslims shout, "To Jerusalem, millions of maryrs", or I see the luciferian scoop marks on the Dalai Lama, or read the writings of these Opus Dei (at least as much as I can bear--not very much).

Anyway, the reason this all came about, is that I am suspecting that some of these blissed out people I am seeing, may not be luciferians at all, but allies in a way--and hopefully more respectful of my free will and self-identity than so many of the people with whom I have looked to for support in the past. I don't know. Maybe I am safer than I think. Maybe all I have to do is interdimensionally jump. I still think that I could do it my way better, instead of being in a pain-wracked, mutilated body, constantly suffering from these viral downloads, which have left me so crippled that not only can I not walk, I cannot even sit on my heels--basic sitting pose of yoga.

Well, I am not going to make any snap decisions--most certainly can't right now, as I am very drugged up, but I am going to try to be a little bit more receptive towards some of these options and possibilities. Sorry Catholics, that does not include you. Too much suffering, too much pain, too much loss and grief. Anyone who can not relate to me as a lesbian, who are uncomfortable with strong, muscular female bodies, and who secretly rejoice and laugh at my pathetic, mutilated state, instead of being outraged at the castration done to me---well, let me take my cue from centuries of religionist dogma--"You are anathema to me."

Time to try to sleep while the goddamned drugs fuck with me...don't even know how much of it is viral download, and how much of it is just Opus Dei mind games to make me think I am crazy. They are pouring it on...probably pissed because they can't handle the truth.

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