Goddamn sadistic luciferian pigs

Goddamn sadistic luciferian pigs keep cutting on me. They removed even more of my shoulders and bicep/tricep muscle. I knew when I woke up that my sweatshirt, which fit me perfectly when I bought it six weeks ago, was hanging even further off my frame than the day before. I never feel my body anymore, because every time I do, I just cry, and I have spent all day sick in bed, so I really didn't notice it until I happened to touch my sawed-off, mutilated shoulders, and they were even tinier than they were after the original hatchet job! As before, I woke up with both hands numb--so, no way can they claim medical benefit. As before, they cut out muscle and leave fat, and they think that is supposed to make me feel feminine!!! God, their stupidity only rivals their arrogance.

As for me, I am in trouble, because, needless to say, this botched, freakish, mutilated alien job that is my body is not natural, and I literally cannot fit into my clothes. How am I ever going to find clothes to fit a large, muscular frame with no shoulders? Because of my huge, nanotech-bloated belly and ass, I have to wear large shirts, but then the clothes hang off a chopped frame with unnatural arms. Yesterday, I went to replace a light bulb that I have replaced many times previously, and my arms could barely reach the bulb.

I am very close to quit all efforts at working out completely. After all, it seems that it is more just a place for them to run psych ops on me than anything else. Besides what is the use of working out, if they are just going to cut and cut and cut? No matter what, I will never be what they want me to, so I am never going to be anything but a lab rat for their punitive, misogynistic wrath. My biggest fear is that these warped, sick sadists are now addicted to cutting on me. Like the blonde Mengelian Nazi dr. I met at the hospital, they think they own me, they think they are "creating" me, and I think they can no longer stop themselves from the cutting. Their time in our orbit is growing shorter, and as their time runs out, I fear these bastards are going to start chopping off limbs, to exercise their punitive rage at the thought that I actually might be a free person once again.

The worst part of it all is that it cannot be undone. I saw and compared a photo of Barack Obama today with previous photos, and I see that they have undone the facial reconstruction that they did on him, so that his face looks more oval, like that of his mother and grandfather, rather than rectangular with the jutting chin. I can even see the laser, scooped, shallow mark running across his chin. (Now that I know what I am looking for, I wondered how did I ever miss it?) But the PIB's have not done one thing to make me look better or more attractive, and there is no way that loss of muscle and bone can be replaced. They are so out of touch with reality, that they don't even know that all they have done by removing my most attractive parts of myself and leaving the ugly, that they have made me feel less feminine, and more freakish than ever before in my life. It doesn't matter. I feel like a kid in this body. I have lost all substance, all strength, all beauty. But I cannot stop these bastards from cutting, and I know things will continue to get worse. Maybe I should just curl up in a ball, and quit life altogether....