Day from hell

Day from hell as I am on some psychotropics that make me too sick to even read or write. I know what I would write about if I could--maybe that is why the goddamned religionists (the fucking pigs continue to stalk and mindplay me through their idiotic know-nothing patsies) keep me so fucked up. True spirituality has nothing to do with religion, especially the religion that has destroyed my body in their quest for a saint. I am miserable in this body right now. My back really hurts, and I am wondering if, that as with my legs, the fucking satanic pigs are cutting into necessary tissue and muscle for my body to be supported. I am not a petite woman. I do not have petite bones and muscles. God gave me big bones and muscles. Yeh, I know the patriarchal fantasy is of a woman who is teeny tiny and eats like a bird, who buys all your bullshit about what feminine beauty and grace is. But God, praise Her, makes some women big and strong, and I am one of them. Except that now, I am in constant pain, because my musculature cannot support the frame. The latest mutilation of my back also messed up my arm movements even worse than they were before. I cannot make a move, without the boobs getting in the way. And still, I can't walk. I am terrified I am going to blow out a knee, because my knees no longer have the quad and hamstring support to help them out with movement. In short, I am fucked. I am going to bed early again and listen to music since that is the only thing I can do, since I am too fucked up to read. God, you need to come to assistance soon--my body is already past the point of recovery---can't imagine how I am ever going to live healthily in this bpdy.