Once again, woke up

Once again, woke up, feeling like my body had been completely disassembled and reassembled, with mismatching parts ill-fitting and misaligned. The entire left side of my body is off alignment with my right side, so I feel like Lurch, as I walk on mismatched legs. Even, sitting, the misalignment between my right and left sides drives me crazy. For what? For another of the Luciferian attempts to get me plugged into the machine, I guess. Well, I'm certainly not feeling very well, neither physically, nor spiritually nor emotionally.

The anterior top of my skull is tender, as it has been for the last few days--no doubt they are injecting something into there, but it no longer bumps up into a ball, as before, because they have elongated the entire top of my skull, into a rectangular-Lurch-like shape.

Once again, I find that I am emotionally disassociated from reality--I can always tell by my response to music, or rather, my lack of response to music. It is a peculiar feeling to be so disassociated--as if I AM a machine, with no feelings or desires, instead of an emotionally warm and responsive human being. I can certainly see how such a state creates the kind of monsters that the Nazi hybrids who have cut me up, have proven to be.

Finally, I am autistic---not able to bear stimuli from reality or do well at my "Solitaire game test." If I cannot hold cards in my memory, or miss possible plays, because I am not aware of the face cards, I am immersed in the autistic spectrum. Right now, judging from my poor performance of a few games, I would say that I am severely autistic. As a matter of fact, the brain is starting to shut down--eyes involuntarily closing etc. Another symptom of the autism is the ADD--can't focus or concentrate, even on inconsequential things. That is too bad, as I have got anotehr post to write. Furthermore, my brain isn't spelling words write. See the previous sentence. It keeps happening. I catch it, and change it, but it is difficult to write, when the brain isn't capable of spelling simple words. I tell myself that God and grace always comes through for me, when it absolutely has to happen, so I think I am going to be pretty mellow and just watch tv today. Certainly, I cannot think enough to write or read. Strange dream last night--ended up with me on life support at a hospital. Kinda like the way I feel--on spiritual life support--but I still have my soul and my spirit and my will, and if God pushes me to do something, I know that I will have the necessary greace. Right now I need to lie down.....
Oh, before I forget the dream also told me that the reason I am targeted so much is because the Nazi luciferians need a deeply spiritual person (not holy, mind you, just deeply spiritual), to sit on a stone (there's some stolen stone from Scotland, I think they are talking about), to connect with some stargate. I don't know. My brain is too messed up to think on or penetrate it. Thank God, I can spend the day in bed.