Saturday, December 31, 2011

Am I worried about the GRAIL mission to the moon?

Am I worried about the GRAIL mission to the moon? Yes, but timing is everything, and I just feel that now is not the time for action. Of course, my rational consciousness could be wrong, and I am always open to insight--in whatever manner it chooses to reveal itself.

I am afraid that I am just going to continue to suffer for a while longer. I went shopping today, and could not find a safe place to buy groceries--so I bought some carryout. I was sick with the viral fluid most of the day, and it makes me ravenously hungry, so I got some prime rib to chow down on. It is going to get really tiring--and expensive--to eat carry out all the time. However, yesterday when I went to the dentist, I was in the north end of town, and I kept driving past motels/hotels that I spent 2-3 months sleeping in (while working full time!), all in attempt to save my life. The viral fluid, combined with the lithium was slowly killing my brain, but no one would listen to me--men in dark suits flashed badges, and basically could do what they wanted to me. Anyway, even the motel/hotel experience was a failure--about 2 dozen overnight stays, and one disastrous monthly rental was only successful about 80% of the time. The rest of the time, the room would be "bugged" or I would be harassed while I slept on the bathroom floor, with towels budging against the door cracks--at that time, I thought they were spraying invisible and odorless gas into the rooms, but I know now that they were/are using sonic frequencies to alter my brain neurochemistry. Anyway, I still have a warm, fuzzy feeling every time I passed an establishment where somehow, I managed to have a misery-free night.

So, I will get through this tampering with my food, even if I have no one or any service available to support me. At least I know the worst case scenario--and I managed to avoid it today, and I just live one day at a time. The thought of living on cheeseburgers for three months or so is not appealing, but it could be a lot worse. I will just look at it like an adventure. At least I know what I am fighting for.

I figured out that the tampered product that they want me to ingest is comprised of two separate compounds, and offered my two separate agendas/factions, one of which is more benign than others. One is to allow the brain to astral travel, but the other more malignant one is "reptile bait". Last night after eating the Amon-Ra tainted food, I suffered from the palpitating heart (and I no longer am in great physical condition, as i was once was), and high anxiety, that I recognized from my motel-hopping nights. However, I know now that this neurochemical state is designed to put the victim in a state of fear--to rouse the reptile brain, so to speak, and I was able to consciously use spiritual breathing exercises to calm myself down.

I am coming into some further insights, but the virus is dragging me to sleep, even at 10:16. I am confident that this year is going to be a great one (but I like wild and unpredictable, roller-coaster rides), so I am going to drink a small glass of champagne and go to bed. It is tainted, and will make me sick, but a toast to this great new year is absolutely required. Besides, the scientist in me is still figuring out certain things--yep, all you killjoys out there--I am drinking champagne to further scientific research!

Friday, December 30, 2011

You know, I think my entire problem is

You know, I think my entire problem is that I am not angry enough--that for too long, I have allowed myself to be abused and violated BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN SOCIALIZED TO BE FEMININE. Always be nice. Don't let your anger show. BULLSHIT. BULLSHIT. BULLSHIT. So what happens is that a bunch of fucking rapist pricks run roughshod over me. I ignore warning signs. I try to be nice, to be "Christian", to "love" the people who abuse me, and what happens, the same damned abuse plays out over and over again.

Fucking Amon RA pigs got me again--basically they can "zap" my cart from anywhere in the store, making it impossible for me buy uncontaminated food. The fucking EM zapper they use makes me very ill--even now I can feel the congested brain stem. Either or I am going to starve (especially given my exaggerated protein needs), or I am going to end up in the hospital with brain seizures from the swollen brain stem.

So, I have to convince myself that all my socialization as a female is total bullshit--that I have a right to my anger, and to act on it. Right now brain isnt thinking because the fucking handful of potato chips and 3 fish oil tabs have got my brain completely fried.


I think I went on a reptile hunt last night

I think I went on a reptile hunt last night. I can't be sure, but I dreamed of two really nasty Jurassic Park killers--you know the ones that trill really sweetly, then spray venom in your face, then ruff out their hood, before they eat you alive. This time I got them, instead of them getting me.

I felt all out of sorts yesterday, with my energy all stymied, because I have lost an entire rib. Then on top of that, I was being blasted with viral downloads which had me going near psychotic. But you know what? I got proactively pissed off about it, and told off the Nazi neighbor, who I have known for over a year now is nothing but a bad news piece of crap. I recognized that he was a Nazi when I knocked on his door about a year and a half ago, to ask him to move a car out of the alley or something. But really, I am a slow burner. I can be moved to lashing anger, but it takes a while for me to get there--I constantly am double checking myself to make sure that it is not my personal problem or grievance in the way. I make allowances and forgive and try to see the other person's viewpoint, but when I have had it, I blow.

Even after looking the guy in his genetically manufactured blue eyes, I didn't get pissed. I started to get angry, when I realized that (as a blond hair, blue eyed Nazi), he was affiliated with a Martian Nazis who stole my eggs to breed my genetic children to be their spiritual and sexual slaves. That same weekend that I learned of that, I watched a videotape of an Air Force sergeant who told of being taken to the moon where she was raped repeatedly by blonde hair, blue-eyed men in military unfiorm, while reptiles assisted.

Now, for years, I had a large, framed poster print on my bathroom wall, of a beautiful full moon against a deep blue background of an ocean. It said something like "The world is as large as your imagination" (tells you what I think about--even on the toilet). Anyway, while I had enjoyed that poster print for years (being a "Moon Child", I have always had an affinity with the moon), the more I learned about the moon, and that it is a reptilian base used to control humans, the more uneasy and ambivalent I felt about the poster print. I would look at it and say, "I really should get this homage to reptilian mind control off my wall", but being easy going (and a "Moon Child", I would just let it slide past any action again and again). That is, until I heard the horror story of this Air Force veteran--Kerry Cassidy interviewed her on Project Camelot. That this decent, honest, and conscientious woman who gave four years of her life in military service to her country, was raped by military personnel in alliance with reptiles, just blew my temper wide open.

I pulled down the poster print, and took it outside, and began smashing it with a hammer--which was not an easy thing to do--my shoulders had just been mutilated for the first time, and I literally had difficulty swinging the hammer without flinging it. Mr. Nazi appeared in his backyard--though all I could see through his fence screen was a silhouette--no doubt to see what all the commotion was about. I was seething with rage and fury at the thought of abuse that my innocent children had endured, that this sincere Air Force veteran had endured, and no doubt, of my own, though still unconscious, memories of being raped by his cult kin. So I started singing some made up song at the top of my lungs about Nazis and rapists going to hell.

But guess what? I still wasn't mad enough to directly confront the guy and tell him to his face to stay the hell away from my house--that is, until yesterday. I don't know what happened to set me off--it was a case of "the straw that broke the camel's back', I guess. Anyway, the anger helped me get a reptile, and maybe two off my back, I think (so did someone else--on the astral plane). The evil bastards probably got a hold of me through implants and unconscious mind manipulation when I have been transported and abused in their space ships and centers (I know that I have been abducted to Mars). I don't say that I feel well, but I have to say that I feel a whole lot better.

And while I fully expect that I will be harassed and stalked by these sick KaBalists for some time to come, I know that I am determined to be completely closed off to those sick, warped perverts.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Stupidass KaBalists

Stupidass KaBalists have a great idea for addressing the severe asthma that has been attacking me, since they cut away, and constricted by upper rib cage and thoracic muscles. They just removed yet another rib, leaving me miserable, absolutely completely miserable in a body in which it is becoming impossible to move.

Didn't work. I still am asthma--not so much as before. Instead, I am dealing with terrible pain on my left side. Literaloy feels like I am getticked kicked with steel toed boots every few seconds. even tho the pain is specific to one spot on back, the whole left side feels bruised.

i figured out that what has been making my life hell is that the fuckers removed upper chest flsh and put implants to get viral fluid throug front. so sick because the botoom line is that my brain cant handle excessive viral fluid. in an instant, i can go semi=psychotic, and am afraid sooner or later i am going to have a serious epileptic seizure or aneurism. as it iis, i am so sick that barely functional--on top of the pain. brain rushes occuring agin--dont know why vicodin not working. try to figure it out later.

pissed off as i can be at the sickass, perveted cult that is doing this to me. saw one of the nazis who have hounded me for years. Looked like they just bought/rented out next door property. i confronted him and told him to stay away from my house. I think he may be cigarette smoking man, that leaves butts all around my door. tired of being nice. hard to be nice when you are in so much pain and sick suffering that you can barely shuffle feet or open eyes.

later, amon ra started stalking me again, at a grocery store. i just walked out. not going play that game. those perverted, sick, warped, rapist assholes make me sick. even if i feel sorry for them as victims--Casey Anthony--there is a deep narcissistic and spiritually parasitic nature to these KaBalist cultists, and I can spot them a mile.

as for me, i am just trying to spend a little bit of time every day, hoping for God to reveal anything i need to know, for i am much too sick to do any research on my own. its better that i dont know too much right now. theres things worth thinking about, and other things that i can let go. Gotta trust God to point me to what I NEED to know, and i do.

Woke up feeling halfway human

Woke up feeling halfway human--my right rear brain is very tender, and I had to struggle to find the energy to get out of bed, but I am up and about. I did a quick morning read, but am unable to concentrate on anything. I may be very low teststerone again--no energy, no ability to concentrate or focus. lot of back pain. Still, after the lost two days of the past, i have to get up and about--need groceries and pharm visit. don't have much energy to blog either--important to save what miniscule energy i have for chores.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Posting while my outside chair warms up

Posting while my outside chair warms up--it is a recliner. i find i sleep better sitting up than laying down. hard to sleep at all. i am suffering from brain rushes again. brain rushes caused by lithium. it is like an electrical jolt wave that starts in brain, then goes thru entire body. it is impossible to sleep with those brain rushes. they used to come every two to thrree minutes, but now thy are coming every 20-30 seconds, if i lie down. they come every couple of minutes, and not so intense sitting up. so i will see if i can sleep in recliner.

have to sleep. must go to dr. tomorrow and i have to be alert so that the goddamned blond hair, blue eyed Nazis don't destroy my brain even more. i know what is wrong. my brain is swollen, and it is strangling my brain stem which makes it hard to, well, do anything. it is also putting pressure on hypothalamus, and i am overheating. it is about 62 degrees in my house (I have an ancient furnace with no thermostat, so i mostly use a space heater, except in the mornings to warm up the place, or if it is really cold), but i am so hot that i had to tear off my sweatshirt. i literally am breaking out in forehead and facial seat, but i am not feverish. so body thermostat must be wrong.

i am feeling a lil better--able to open eyes, and write this post, but i know that my brain is in danger zone. eyesight, too. seeing sparks flash when my eyes are closed and am having weird visual field things happen. i am too dizzy and nauseated to move my head. started last nite when i noticed i couldnt move my head without vertigo. i have had vertigo caused by inner ear before. this is caused by brain stem problem. my head feels both light and heavy at same time.

i know there is nothing to do for swollen brain, but induce coma. neecless to say, i am scared to death of that. but i am too sick to even move in current state. eyes wont open, brain wont think, cant walk, sit or stand--just long for the oblivion of sleep. but i have to seek medicla treatment. i am way too sick to deal with this. dont know how i am going to sleep. took two vicodin already--not doing a damned thing to stop brain rushes--vicodin has always been the only thing that stopped brain rushes--that and heavy alcohol. just deal with it best i can..

this may be las post in long time

this may be las post in long time. My brain is shutting down. what i thought was an energy weapon i now believe to be something internal that is allowing unfettered access of the viral fluid to brain. at least i guess that by how swollen face is. but brain, specifically brain stem cannot handle that much pressure, that much fluid. doesnt do what the stupid ass fuckers think it dows. it is killinG Me.

upon waking, i drank a third of a fifth of whiskey in first hour. wanted to knock self out, give bra9in chance to heal, end the horrible pain in my shoulders and back. woke up four hour later, and while pain is little subsided, brain is worse. i literally cannot keep eyes open. fixed and ate turkey burger (dont have energy to make spaghetti which was plan). pulled out a thing of olives, but as i ate one, my body told me not to expend energy eating olives.

tomorrow if i am alive, i will try to shower, go to er--only thing that will save me is cessation of viral fluid, and the goddamned pricks wont take my wod for it. it is just that i am so sick i cannot imagine myself sitting in er.


going back to sleep now. only thing i can do. it is no use to try to astrl travel me. i wont survive the trip. dont have enough brain functio for that

The most pain wracked night

The most pain wracked night i can remember in a long time. worst part about it, were that pain meds absolutely worthless. took 4 vicodin--absolutelyh no effect (as well as two tranamdol, two excedrin pm and one benadryl). woke up in agony--shoulders, back hurtin, while dealing with the excessive fluid on brain--brain tumor thing. could barelyu get to feel--bdy hurt so bad. first thing idid was go to the bott;e of whiskey i had bought to help me celebrate Christmas and New year (amazing that i got my hands on bottle of unadulterated whiskey--I have to drive around, trying to outsmart satansists to get it). anyway, i slammed down four shots with some coke, and immediatelyh, I felt better. so the question is am i on lithium? amazing thing that when i am on lithium, alohol makes me feel better.

certianly i aon sufferin from way too much fluid on brain, so much so that i recognize drinking could put me in a coma, in which case i can only hpe good guys blow my brains out. any kind of knock out preferalble to the hell that is my pain wracked and brain-tumor-stressed reality. working on secon installment of four shots of whiskey. want to go to sleep and bed, wake up feeling better. out of whiskey nwo, so nothing ic an do but hope that my hell ends. too sick to go anywhere or do anything. too drunk to drive now. dont feel drunk, but would never drive with the amt of alochol i have in me, just want to sleep, feel better.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Desperate addition to previous post

Desperate addition to previous post--I am not calling "all angels"; I am calling all GOOD angels. I am in terrible pain with shoulders in crippling agony that extends all the way down to hands. shoulders probably cut on last nite. stupid ass fucking goddamned pieces of shit nazis. anyway, earlier i smelled something like electrical burning, and then sulphur in the rooms most impacted by the energy weapon. St. Teresa has identified those smells as demonological (if popular myths about sulfur weren'e enough). she had some holy water she could throw on around her home to get rid of bad angels. i am barely able to move or function physically, much less muste up any spiritual energy. took two vicodin about four ago--it is as if i never took anything at all. i cant endure pain that two vicodin barely faze. will try to take two more--the problem is that arms/shoulder/back cant lay down properly because the mutilations have left my body all fucked up. i keep fantaszing about morphine. i envy heroin addicts right now--do anything to get rid of pain--except surrender to the fucking evil demons that have made my life sheer hell

Very very sick

Very very sick--not only am I not able to function, but can barely move and watch tv, but I look as ill as I feel. Face is severely swollen--both sides. Usually the right side is worst, but the left side is just as bed. woke up with this incredible pain behind left eye, wonder if that is a new implant making me sick.

my eyes look like amon-ra cult devotees--think jarde lochner, or even to a slighter degree barack obama. that is the right eye looks dense, dark, and dead, unanimated, while the left eye is brighter. so it is an amon-ra move.

they have surrounded my house with energy weapons. as i write this post, i am so sick with the ELF attack, i wont be able to be here much longer. not going to be able to do much research, as long as it is here. probably put it on outside wall, or ground outside window.

really fucked up thing they did though was put it on the porch, front door---hope they didnt spray anything through the drafty crack openings--but my inner voice and buzzing in my head tells me that something worng with living room. know when it happend. watching a movie around 2-30 to 3:45, and heard someone come on porch.. it was not mailman because i alrready had picked up the mail. i thought maybe there was a delivery, but after my movie when i could drag myself oup I waliked out, and nothing was there, but i could tell i felt much worse.

It is going to be hard to find a place to sleep out of reach of energy weapons. My God they put in my truck they plaster them on my porch and on yard, i wouldnt be surprised if there is one outsiede my kitchen window, or on the basement stairs. "calling all angels. I am too sick to move. I need help"

now i got to try to find the most protect spit i can lay down to sleep...hurt real baed

Ps--just did a quick test with eyes. cannot open left eye---hurts to have any kind of stimuli koming in at all. right eye vision severely impaired. not only is eye dark but vision is very, very dark. there must be tremendious pressure on optic nerve. I hope to God i dont lose eyesight.

pps ---am certain enrgy weapon placed outside window this afternoon. I did an extended morning read for about 4 hours this morning---at 130-2:00 pm, it was fine--probalby happend same time as the person who walke d onto my front porch,

Monday, December 26, 2011

I suffered terribly last night

I suffered terribly last night--completely unable to sleep--due to the spasms of my tightly constricted and abnormally arched upper back. The asthma became acute, and I kept coughing all night long, spitting up the mucous caused by the excessive estrogen and viral download.

I feel very, very sick today. I got through my reading of the morning paper, but am unable to concentrate on anything. I am in a lot of pain with this constricted chest, and the vertebra that is punching right in on my lungs. I am worried that I am going to come down with pneumonia, because I can't keep the mucous from my lungs, and my poor lungs are so inflamed that they constantly hurt.

I have a broncho-dilator somewhere, that I rarely use, since normally my asthma is caused by severe allergic reaction. As a matter of fact, I got that inhaler when a forest fire was making it impossible for me to breathe. Now, I find it difficult to breathe, because my back muscles are so abnormally tight and anatomically misplaced through alien manipulation. I don't know if a broncho-dilator is going to work. I may have to go to the doctor, and get a steroid inhaler. Right now, I am going to find the inhaler, and just lay down. It hurts to even sit up--back muscles are too spasmed and too constricting to even hold myself up.

I can't get sick. I just can't--but there is nothing I can do about the structural and anatomical maladjustments that are causing my respiratory distress. Well, first step--find the broncho-dilator...

Sunday, December 25, 2011

I just learned that the Blogger software

I just learned that the Blogger software is not putting in paragraph breaks. I don't use paragraphs for style, but to convey a very real break in thought, so it is an important part of my writing. I know that I have a very stripped down blog, but that is because when I began writing, I was too ill to do much of anything except type words; then later, I often found myself under pressure to write out my thoughts immediately. Today, I feel well enough to care about my writing presentation, so I hope I fixed the paragraph settings situation.

This is going to be a short and unimportant post, so I will just use it to see if I fixed my problem. I was able to do more cleaning today (two days in a row!), and I finally put away all my summer clothes in the basement, while I finally hung up winter sweatshirts in the closet.

I found that a lot of long sleeved shirts and sweat shirts, no longer fit me. They are too tight across the bust. This includes a couple of sweatshirts of my sister that I keep for sentimental reasons. My sister was heavier than me, and had a double D, oversized bosom. Why are my sister's old sweatshirts unable to fit me, since I have nowhere near her bust size--even with these fucking Nazi cow boobs hanging on me?

The answer is the reason that I have been having such difficulty breathing. My sister had huge breasts, but she had a feminine, naturally arched back. Naturally, I have a male's arched back, and the more masculine the arch, the better, more natural, and energetic I feel. As a matter of fact, the first thing I instinctively do upon awakening is push my pelvis upward and try to flatten the upper back, which gives me a brief jolt of natural energy.

For the dog Sirians are insistent upon forcing an unnatural feminine body upon me, no matter how miserable I feel. So they have pushed my spine into my upper thoracic cavity, which not only makes me asthmatic, but causes actual respiratory distress, with even mild physical exertion, or the viral download. But that is how stupidass Nazis think--who cares if I feel like shit or can breathe or not--the question is do the fucking bastards get their rocks off looking at my bustline?

In Hebrew, the word for Holy Spirit is "ruah", breath. In the first chapter, Almighty Creator God, "breathes" upon the chaotic, formless waters to activate truel life. That insight underlies why breathing is so important in the spiritual life--in all traditions. Now, I am completely unable to draw a full breath or fully oxygenate my body. You can imagine what that does for my spiritual life. But I got these motherfucking piece of shit knockers that I hate with every half breath I draw. FUCK YOU PIGS, FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO ME!!! I AM NOT A WOMAN. I AM A MAN!!!

No sooner am I grateful that "angels"

No sooner am I grateful that "angels" (good aliens), have intervened on my behalf than the following night I am tracked once more by negative aliens. I woke up with a yucky headache and nightmares of vampiric-type aliens, prayed to God to save me from being co-opted by the MACHINE, then went back to sleep. Then, I had a "psychic-type" dream. The dream was that the nation of Barbados was going to destroy Japan. In my dream, I saw Barbados as being a land mass adjoining Japan on the north side, and somehow it was pushing down on it to destroy the nation. These same destruction was going to destroy "Formosa" at the same time. Japan. Japan. Japan. I keep praying for you and the preservation of your people, yet I fear that your leaders/institutions are your own worst enemy. This morning, after waking up to see what was the mainstream news regarding Japan, I could only find note of whalers once more setting out to sea. I am not a Green activist, but I can tell you that whales are sentient beings of a much higher order than mere mammals, and this planet's survival is somehow dependent on them. Now, I am not sure precisely how this works, and I feel some ambivalence regarding the purpose and intentions of whales (are they guardians of an ancient alien civilization that wants to treat Earth as a vassalage planet?), but I do know that their survival is somehow key to our survival. There is a Star Trek movie (nearly all of these scripts are inspired by occult knowledge), in which a monitoring AI ship attacks the Earth if they do not hear whale song. I myself am not certain of precisely why these whales are important, but their extermination does not provide enough benefit to offset the damage and ill will caused by these ongoing hunts. However, it is not the Green activists who have launched the latest attack to bring down Japan. The following is a hypothesis, which may be inaccurate, or in need of tweaking in some details. However, I am not able to sit at my computer long enough to do the extensive research necessary, so people who have deeper knowledge and greater resources are going to have to follow through on this. Barbados is not connected to Japan. Russia and China are the only two land masses that are close enough to be the nation state that I saw as pushing the destruction of Japan. So here is my speculative hypothesis: Barbados actually refers to an offshore, KaBal-owned banking institution, similar in function to what Haitian banks did, before the tragic earthquake--which was designed to disrupt the covert transfer of billions of dollars passing through that country. This latest attempt to bring down Japan is financial in nature. I think the "front" bank that is involved is Scotia Bank, based in Canada, with Rick Waugh as CEO. If you look at pictures of Mr. Waugh, you can see evidence of MACHINE-manipulation--high ears, flat nose bridge, and pouchy jowls. However, the dead giveaway is found in this image: Look carefully at his wrists, and see how low his wrist knuckle is. I have the same low wist knuckle--it is caused by the literal pulling out and abnormal extension of the wrist, to facilitate the flow of the nano-viral flow into the hands and fingers. The upper protrusion, I also recognize--it is fluidic swelling caused by the pooling of the viral flow in narrow, constricted wrists--which is what necessitates the elongating of the wrists in the first place. Some other interesting tidbits about Rick Waugh include his ties with the Guanghua School of Management in Peking University (I don't know why they use that old spelling, but I have a guess, to be explained later). Now the Guanghua Educational Foundation is actually located in Hong Kong, and if I researched it further, I am sure that I would find ties to Li Ka Shing, the billionaire top man in Hong Kong. Just by the middle name, "Ka", which is a clear occult term, I believe this man to be the most visible representative of the Asian occult, probably now called, "the White Dragon" family, though it may have been called other names in the past. This Guanghua School of Management has other ties--most notably with the Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern University in Chicago. Northwest University is rife with satanists at every level, and Kellogg was important in establishing Obama's candidacy. Again, if I had time to research it, I bet that I would find that Kellogg was the moving force behind the entire bogus, occult-inspired and led, Chicago Climate Exchange--that is, the whole Maurice Strong/Al Gore/9/11 insurance fraud/Barack Obama complex. Oh, and by the way, Maurice Strong and Rick Waugh have at least one documented, clear link that I was able to find--they both served on a board for some Canadian Human Rights foundation (hah!) Now--let's focus on the China aspect of this for a moment. Why is this "Guanghua School of Management of Peking University" named this? "Peking" is the old spelling for Beijing. I think the old spelling is used because Mr. Li Ka Shing is posturing to become the occult, behind-the-scenes kingpin of a united China. While he is allowed to freewheel in tiny Hong Kong, with utter impunity, I think he longs for the "good old days", when his "White Dragon" family ruled all of Imperial China, from behind the scenes, and the capital was still called, "Peking". The word, "Guanghua" is a territorial association affiliated with his Hong Kong base--and the title was bestowed, because of extremely large donations made to establish the school. In other words, Hong Kong wealth (Li Ka Shing), is responsible for this Chinese management school, which is actually quite global in connections--not only to Chicago and Canada, but also such institutions as UC Berkely and U of PA's Wharton School of Business (do I need to bring forth the evidence that satanism flourishes in both the CA bay area, and in pockets of PA?). My guess is that Li Ka Shing is hoping to force a virtual abdication of Chinese communism (whether by alliance with factions of the Chinese military, or by financial/extraterrestrial blackmail of the prevailing system. It isn't Mao's China, anymore! My dream clearly stated that the same destruction that brings down Japan is going to bring down Formosa. Formosa is the old word for Taiwan--Mr. Li Ka Shing is looking to conquer all of Taiwan, as well. Now, how is this all going to come about. Well again, since I am not privy to insider information, I can only guess. However, recent news articles have informed me, that following the cancellation of Prime Minister Noda's visit to the United States, he set up a visit to China. The reason he gave for cancelling the US visit was the tightness of the schedule of both Obama and Noda. Now, Obama doesn't have a tight schedule, since he is just a PR flunky. Since he is running out of sports teams to fete at the White House (even going back a score or more), he has plenty of time to cross his legs and talk mellifluously and worthlessly for televised "leadership" press conferences. Meanwhile, Noda had a free enough schedule to immediately schedule a visit to China, after cancellation of the US visit. So my guess is that Japan is biting hard on a big time bait from China, which is going to set up the big fall, which will take place through the Barbados front bank of Scotia Bank. Now, considering how hard the Patriots of the US, especially Hillary Clinton and her extraterrestrial connections worked to literally save the nation of Japan, I find it difficult to believe that Japan's leaders could not only reject an alliance with the USA, but that they could be so stupid as to fall into this trap. I don't identify with leaders, however, but with people, and I like the Japanese people, and their pluck and their resolve, their ingenuity, and their hard, hard work. So, Japanese patriots out there, be forewarned. Your leaders are about to sell you out to a destruction not seen since Hideji Tojo. It will end very badly for Japan--or so my "dubious dream" warned me...

Saturday, December 24, 2011

"Angels watching over me, my Lord"

"Angels watching over me, my Lord"--that spiritual is the song that I keep humming to myself. I think my brain was very, even dangerously, inflamed last night, but aliens were able to cool it down. So I woke up still feeling sick, but as the morning wore on, I almost felt human, and was able to clean a little bit. For me, that was a good way to bring in Christmas Eve--with a clean living room! I got in a little Christmas "feeling", while cleaning by listening to Handel's "Messiah". Of course, life continues to be a struggle. The aliens keep constricting my rib cage, and I find myself often unable to breathe. It doesn't help that I keep getting fed estrogen, which completely clogs me up. It may also what is responsible for the constant tears--or maybe, it is Christmas. I do know that I am unable to concentrate--and it is testosterone that gives me my outstanding ability to read, concentrate, and research. However, I am not going to argue with excessive sentimentality on Christmas. I just hope that I get back to normal--I like myself better when my mind is functioning well, creative, probing and productive. It is getting harder and harder to actually endure the physical act of sitting--my mutilated back muscles and rib cage just don't have the ability to hold myself up. However, I think the world is in a good place for the holidays--hopefully, the good psychics followed up on that insight of generational satanism in Lebanon, MO...the satanists continue to hound me--they looked awfully sour today. Maybe they don't like Christmas--however, they just pervert it to fit their personal satanic beliefs. More likely, they just don't like to see me happy, which I was for most of the day. Now, it is time to watch TV...

Friday, December 23, 2011

What a day from hell

What a day from hell! I finally drove in the truck that I knew a Sirian shapeshifter had poisoned with an energy weapon. It gave me the most severe headache I could ever imagine. I still am suffering. It put such fluid pressure on my mutilated joints that I could barely walk, but was dragging. I can't even begin to explain the hell that my emotions went through as i went into some kind of autistic, enraged fugue. Even now, I am suffering terribly with autism and headache--can barely keep eyes open. I find it impossible to concentrate, either on tv news, or reading the web. So fucking sick I just want to lay down and lie. Struggling to breathe--i thinkk it is a combination of not enough space in my ribcage and torso--because I have been breathless now fo a while, but also, the plugged nose caused by the goddamned estrogen. I am so fucking miserable, my suffering beyond belief. I cannot stand the body i am in. I hate the way these fucking Sirian dog pricks make me feel with their goddamned stupidity and implants. Most of all, I long for the days when I was happy and healthy in my body. need to lay down now and try to breathe.

The current outlook is much grimmer than I had thought

The current outlook is much grimmer than I had thought, and I have a good intuition on the reasons for that, but I am too sick to pursue the line of thought--at least right now. I MUST shower and get out and about for some chores. I stepped on my only pair of glasses, and while they are the most indestructible horn rims that you can buy, I am clumsy with my hands, and afraid of breaking them completely, if I try to fix them. It doesn't help, when I am constantly sick at the hands of the dog Sirians. A few days ago, I wrote about having to throw away seventy two dollars worth of food, because some psychic vampire allied with Amon-RA had it contaminated with an electronic signature at the checkout counter. Well, when I came home and tested other food products, I realized where the vampire got his idea--the dog Sirians had come into my house and tampered with my food in my home!! Of course, I cannot stop that--apparently they have a key, and think they have got a right to come in and do whatever the fuck they want in my house. At the time, I realized that the dog Sirian frequency made me a little bit sick--the same old sense of being autistic and barely functioning in reality. However, I feel so much like death warmed over most of the time anyway, so I could ignore it. However, I think they altered my cranium, so that my brain stem is getting the full force of the viral download, and now eating is making me much sicker--shaking the head, semi-psychotic kind of sick. Even as I write this, I am barely in reality, but that is nearly a full hour since I have eaten. I think that they probably have tampered with my cooking oil--because it smells funny. Anyway, I am fucking pissed off about this most recent violation. YOU STUPID ASS SIRIANS JUST DON'T GET IT, DO YOU? My brain doesn't work like most other people--YOUR GODDAMNED VIRAL DOWNLOADS MAKE ME SO SICK THAT I GO NEARLY PSYCHOTIC WITH EXTREME AUTISM. THERE AIN'T NO 'ASCENSION' HAPPENING WITH ME IN THIS STATE. It takes all I have just to open my eyes. I FEEL LIKE FUCKING SHIT IN THIS STATE, HATE IT, AND HATE AND DISTRUST THE WHOLE PROCESS THAT IS MAKING ME ILL! I would already have been compliant with the Ascension process if I had just been treated like a human being. Instead, my body is a pain-wracked wreck, I have no energy to do anything, and I can barely relate to reality. Last night, I dreamed that Maurice Strong was the primary person responsible for my inability to trust, and sure, his stupid ass violations of my free will and civil rights (which the SLI was only too happy to enthusiastically endorse--I went there right before my incarceration), may have been the start of my shutting down my spirit and closing off my trust, but there has been absolutely nothing or no one who has done a thing to gain it since. I have given and given and given, while more and more of my body was destroyed and taken. Now, I have a zero trust in the reality around me--for Christ's sake, I can't even eat my food without the goddamned fuckers trying to poison me. I can't be neighborly friendly and loan my truck out to a neighbor (actually a shape shifting Sirian), without them putting an energy weapon in it. I can no longer sleep in my bed, because I get too damned sick. I was telling the shape shifting (wanna be) neighbor about it, and he thought it was funny--IT IS NOT FUNNY, GODDAMNED IT!! I can't hold a job, I can barely function, and now on top of everything else I can't even eat without spending the rest of the day so sick I can barely function. WELLL FUCK YOU, YOU GODDAMNED DOG SIRIANS! TAKE YOUR FUCKING DOGS AND GET OUT OF MY FUCKING SIGHT! I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES! STAY THE FUCK 0UT OF MY HOUSE AND THE FUCK OUT OF MY KITCHEN! I AM NOT ASCENDING ANYWHERE UNTIL I FEEL SAFE, AND I DO NOT FEEL SAFE WHEN I AM SO FUCKING AUTISTIC THAT I AM NOT EVEN IN REALITY. Now, I am in terrible pain on top of the autism--hurts to even sit at the compute, with all the pain caused by mutilation. need to lay down.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Another day of 18 hour sleep

Another day of 18 hour sleep, and even though I don't remember a thing, I must have done something good on the astral plane, because when I went to step outside to remove my empty trash bin from the curbside, an Amon-RA devotee was giving me "the glare". I get that whenever I trash talk them or pull the covers off one of their satanic operations. Does it bother me? Not really--i know that I am surrounded by creeps, perps, and pervs, all working really hard to get into my mind, and this guy, who lives right across from me, in one of the lower front apts (probably the middle one), knew what I was going to do (step out to get my trash bin), before I did it. I am used to it--i just wish I could have seen the university or sport name across his white hoodie. I have been stalked by Amon RA devotees (Templars), wearing "Notre Dame" ("Our Lady") hoodies. Of course, for them, "Our Lady" is Isis, and unfortunately for me, that is what they have decided to be my designated fate. Of course, I resist it, insisting upon my free will. However the more I learn of these brainwashed cultists, the more I realize that the evil they do extends far beyond me, which any brief reading of the news will reveal. So, what did I say/do in my sleep that got Mr. "White Hoodie" to give me the hate stare? Was it my research into the incredulous story of Donald Collins who set a boy on fire, and was never charged with a crime. Of course, I knew that Collins (like the Greens of Arizona) are an ancient occult family. I also know that this took place in an adjacent county to Liberty county, where dozens of graves of small children have been found, and covered up. Those are the graves of ritual victims of satanic sacrifices, and my guess is that young Don Collins witnessed a child being burned alive as a sacrifice, and emulated the ritual performance himself, on his young victim, Robbie Middleton. That was after he raped him. He is in jail now on a sex charge, and my years of experience in the criminal justice system tells me that Don Collins is a psychological monster. He is deeply wounded and depraved, and he will torture, rape and murder again and again and again--as long as his family connections provide him cover. It is absolutely amazing to me that a state that is as unforgiving to convicted criminals as Texas, have allowed this young man to remain free for years, while Robbie's life was stolen from him, forever, when he was eight years old, and finally died of complications from the burns, 10 years later. Then Roy Kronk is in the news. He is the meter reader who "found" little Caylee's body when he went to take a whiz in the woods. Wrong. He is a member of the Amon-RA cult, and he was told where the body was, when the Anthonys decided to sell out their daughter and pin the blame on her. It is not surprising to me that he works for a utility company--these cultists--even the least educated among them--are deliberately placed and advanced in strategic professions, and it is a little scary to wonder how many of them are in positions of sensitive operations and controls of utilities. Finally, I do believe that the Patriot Leadership Team avoided another attempt to force World War III--this time through Korea. There was the irregular shipment of 69 Patriot missiles, that were said to be going through China, but the official cover-up said that they were bound for South Korea. Here is my take (which could be wrong). Kim Jong-Il was murdered last week(common knowledge), and some heavy duty threats and blackmail were exchanged with Japan (the KaBal HATES Japan and wants to destroy the small island nation completely). Along the way, they wanted to create a tsunami that would destroy the Eastern seaboard by creating an volcanic earthquake off the Azores. Then, there was the virus found in the fowl of Hong Kong. The final part of the plan, should parts 1 and 2 fail, was that German Nazis load the Patriot missiles which were then shipped to China, which were then going to be directed to their ultimate destination, to be fired to start a Korean conflice--probably by North Korea on South Korea (but possibly by a rogue South Korean commander, salivating at the thought of power over a promised unified Korea). That was why Kim Jong-Il was murdered. He was getting soft in his old age, and was starting to address his people's starvation problems, instead of saber rattling. He was old and mature enough to think through his actions, and the KaBal wanted a malleable puppet, whose strings they could pull. Fortunately, for the entire world, the Finnish authorities found the missiles. Sadly, I do believe that there was at least one casualty in this volley of warmongering. I think young Ayla Reynolds was sacrificed as an offering to Satan for success by the same New England/Kennebunkport Maine community that had hoped to sacrifice the young Camden Pierce, before he died precipitously. Yes, many of the satanists are identified, and "in check", but not enough of them. So, along with the Patriot Leadership Team, I keep "doing my thing"--reading and researching to the best of my ability. To be honest, I haven't been able to do much. I am too sick most of the time to concentrate, and i am in constant nerve pain from where I have been mutilated--you name it, shoulders, back, hips, groin, pelvic girdle, ribs, ankles and wrists. On top of all that I have a constant sick headache, and today suffered from the semi-psychotic reaction from viral download that I only experience when my brain stem is completely swollen and overwhelmed. I could have done a better job of researching and writing this post, but I don't feel well, and my ribs and groing are hurting too much to sit any longer, so it is time to go back to bed. I feel like such a slug, but there is nothing for it right now.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

A PS to previous entry

A PS to previous entry--I just took two of the remaingin half dozen testosterone supplements I have. Incredible and immediate difference. I took it because i was afraid I would not be able to eat supper without it. However, the mood and energy uplift was immediate--it was as if my depression, fog, and barely able to move energy disappeared. I still don't feel well, but I I feel immensely better than I did five minutes ago. It is amazing to me the way these Sirian aliens and fundamentalist human allies refuse to believe the medical evidence, even though it is clear who I am (a man), and what I need to function (man-sized dosages of testosterone)!

I have spent nearly all day sleeping.

I have spent nearly all day sleeping. I kept trying to wake up, but just could not. I think that I am on some psychotropic drug that really messes with my digestive system and causes really excessive flatulence. Fortunately, it is just me here. In addition, I have some kind of permanent heartburn thing going on, whether I eat or not, and I hardly am eating, since I have lost all appetite. Even drinking water causes heartburn to flare in the middle of my esophagus. My thyroid meds may have been pulled, because I am finding it very difficult to digest what I do eat. That may also have to do with the excessive estrogen that I am on. I have learned that when I am high estrogen, I have difficulty digesting food, and that testorone supplements actually are a great help in digestion, but I don't have much testosterone--everything I buy is tampered with. I am so low energy that I barely have any energy to do much of anything, but overall, it has felt like a very depressing day. I am going to go back to bed--I've slept about 18 hours of the last 24, but I am so sleepy and low energy, I cannot do anything else--maybe I will take some testosterone, just to get rid of this heartburn.

Monday, December 19, 2011

I find myself in a perpetually depressed and irritable mood

I find myself in a perpetually depressed and irritable mood. It is, I think, a combination of excessive estrogen and some psychotropic drugs. I have to fight not to rage, to throw chairs, and curse a blue streak at the top of my lungs, so I can only imagine what the goddamned fuckers are doing to me now. I know another evil monstrosity that I have suffered at their hands. Last week, probably Thursday, they cut out a lot of my lower back muscle, which has left me so de-energized that I can barely move. To top that off, they literally cut into my pelvic girdle and fashioned some freak of a vagina that only a Nazi butcher could admire. Because I am so alienated and out of touch with my body (and because I haven't been able to go for a bike ride--I don't know if my pelvis will be able to stand the pain anymore), it took me awhile to realize the enormity of the mutilation and sacrilege done to my body. My entire pelvis is assymetrical, with bones in the wrong places. My labia has been trimmed to a little girl's "wee wee", and while I have a clitoris, it is so hidden, that it would take a saint of a partner to ever orgasm. Of course, my ability to orgasm has been reduced to a spasmodic nervous system jerk. It is a good thing I am a lesbian, because I don't think I could even engage in heterosexual intercourse with the mutilated vagina that the Nazis have left me. All around the mons, I feel pressure points of pain--I think implants have been put in there to try to get to me orgasm to the MACHINE. I have deep throbbing pain on both sides of the pelvis--never know when it is going to hit. I can feel it bothering me right now, which is why I am writing this. Then of course, there is the girdle pain that causes me to limp, since my pelvic girdle is no longer an anatomically correct and healthy structure, but a malaligned and mutilated stump of what God originally created. To make matters even worse, I now have nerve pain going down both legs. I have had a bad back for over 15 years, and I NEVER had nerve pain going down my legs. In a way, I guess this had to happen, because one thing I realized for sure, as soon as I noticed the horrible changes done to my genitalia. I ABSOLUTELY HATE THIS PUSSY. IT IS NOT MINE, AND I WANT IT GONE. I HATE THE WAY IT FEELS, I HATE THE WAY IT LOOKS, I HATE THE WAY IT SMELLS, I HATE THE WAY IT IS ALWAYS WET. You know, I was not happy when I hit puberty, but I got a copy of "Our Women, Our Bodies" and I learned to appreciate that little buddy down there. After I became sexually active, I grew to like it even more. There is nothing left of God's original creation down there. It is just some fucking Nazi's wet dream. So, the goddamned Nazis have made possible what my mind and imagination was reluctant to accept--I want a penis. You know, I have never had penis envy at all (of course I know now that I had an unfair advantage), but now I do. I am disgusted by own female genitalia, and I am starting to imagine myself having a penis and engaging in male sexual activity--clearly, there will be no pleasure, esteem or love associated with the crippled, stunted mutilation which is now nothing but a pee hole. I bought some boxers today. Not only does it feel right, I am not able to wear panties with their elastic band comfortably. You see, the other rotten complication of the Nazi surgery, was that it left me with big, fat thighs, and a teeny pelvic area--thus I have abnormal, deep creases in my inner thighs. I am so wet most of the time, that I want to fucking punch something. I mean it--literally. I hate everything about the goddamned fucking estrogen that i am force fed. So now, I soak completely through my panties (NOT in a state of arousal, okay--just everyday tasks have me walking around like a dripping prostitute), and the wetness hides in the creases, where it turns into a rash. IT IS NOT EVEN SUMMER!!! HOW THE HELL AM I GOING TO BE ABLE TO FUNCTION WHEN I START PERSPIRING IN THE SUMMERTIME? So it is time to wear alternative underwear. At least at home, I can try to wipe off the wet. Buying the boxers was interesting--saw a man with a bulge, and realize that scantily clothed pictures are more provocative than nudity. I have always known that with women. Looking at women's lingerie ads is such a bigger turn on than looking at a nude woman. Anyway, the bulge is not a turn on for me--instead I have to learn to accept that in me. Given the way that I now feel about my genitalia, and the whole, warped feeling of body alignment that comes from having a recessed pelvis and fucked up back curvature, I think I will sooner or later be happy to embrace it. As it is, I walk around, not only feeling uncomfortable with these cow boobs, but now with this Nazi-mangled vagina. MISERABLE MISERABLE MISERABLE @#%*^&#%^&*

Sunday, December 18, 2011

I was disappointed today as I listened to a brief

I was disappointed today as I listened to a brief commentary by Mike Huckabee, a religious conservative Republican. Huckabee seriously opposes nearly all civil rights for gays and lesbians, that I take for granted in 21st century America. However, he has a likeable personality, and so I have always overlooked his ideological shortcomings. The other day when I posted that the current crop of Republican candidates scare me, i was not exaggerating. I believe that, at this point in history, only someone with a flexible and open mind to the paradigm shift of reality that is unfolding, as well as someone connected, rooted, and aware of contemporary political dynamics, is capable of positive and healthy leadership into the future. Change is going to happen--whether it is positive or negative is going to depend on us. So far, under the watch of Hillary Clinton and the Patriot Leadership Team, this country has weathered incredible stresses and long odds against intact survival, but there is still an entire year left to go. I do the best I can to accommodate all beliefs, ideologies, and perspectives, while at the same time fighting to save my country. However, I recognize that everyone's most cherished beliefs, including my own, are going to have to change, as this next year unfolds. I am not causing or creating the change. I am trying to help humanity and my country stay afloat as the sea of change whirls around. Nor is any one alien faction or person trying to cause or create the change--they are all just trying to shape or own it. Broadly put, either this entire planet is either going to undergo a near extinction level event, or we are going to paradigm shift into a greater cosmic understanding of interdimensional and extraterrestrial reality. So I implore all people of fundamentalist mindset--and that would include Gov. Huckabee--to start praying for the grace to open oneself up to the possibility of change, because that is actually the better-case scenario. Gov. Huckabee was giving a commentary on Tim Tebow, whose recent exploits I exposed as being fixed by an alien faction. Tebow is a deep Christian, and the alien faction of fundamentalist "dog" Sirians, which have gravely abused and violated me, was propping him up as a poster boy for religion--but not an authentic and true religion--just a mind-controlled prop. Now, I have nothing against Tebow or the Christian faith. I do have something against lies and fixed games, which are used to manipulate and mind-control the masses. If anything, I was looking out for the young quarterback, because when the truth comes out (and guess what, people--it is all going to come out), he will look like a fool, and Jesus Christ and Christianity will be mocked. I don't want that. I wouldn't want that for anyone. Nor do I like watching games and athletes being reduced to entertainers in fixed, choreographed games. However, what I hate most of all, is religion being mocked by the absolute worst kind of blasphemers--people or aliens who really don't believe in any tenet of faith or spirit, but are insistent upon a rigid application of religion to keep people mind controlled and subjugated. A prominent atheist, Christopher Hitchins, just died, and every time that I saw him on TV, I would change the channel whenever he started to argue against Christianity. Atheism bores me, especially when I can tell that the source of it, is deep personal anger. However, I have more respect for an atheist who shouts, screams, and vociferates against religion, than I do for a blasphemer who follows the form of a religious tradition, saying all the right words, but who lacks heart, spirit, faith and love. For them, religion is a tool to be used to keep "useful idiots", "losers", "the masses" in obedience to a slavery run by Illuminati (in the know) elites. Well guess what, it is those exact same blasphemers and haters of authentic religion and spirituality who have been pumping up Tim Tebow. And get this--they are the exact same ones pumping up al-Qaida, and 19 year old Muslim youths to detonate themselves. I KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT. Not only have I experienced years of the most heinous abuse at the hands of these beings--alien and human minions--but I have sat face to face and talked to them, not only in this 3D reality, but in the astral state as well. I have specifically brought up topics of faith, God, religion, just to gauge their response. I can absolutely, unequivocally, positively, 100%+, state with confidence that these beings are, at their worst, not only soulless, but downright evil. Yes indeed, they have been running this planet for millennia. That is why there has been so much suffering and senseless violence and hatred, and guess what--organized religion--you name it, for all confessions and denominations have been tainted-- has been a big huge front for these evil aliens. We finally have a chance to rid humanity of domination by these "fallen angels", and it is tricky business determining who and what can be trusted, and to what extent they can be trusted, and who and what cannot be trusted at all. So that is why I rail against this blasphemous, religious alien sect, and all their works, and I am sorry if the governor cannot see the Truth because he is blinded by an ideological loyalty to his version of religion. I respect and admire that Tim Tebow seems such a virtuous young man, but an Illuminati propped-up hero is still a phony prop, and we have enough of those, in every field of endeavor. I hope that one day, sports once again, will be a contest between athletes to demonstrate their skill and character, not just high-priced choreography to showcase one faction or another, or to make an ideological, or politically correct point. However, it was the last comment that Huckabee said, that really got me, and I am trying to quote it from memory, so I may have it a little bit wrong. After going through a spiel about how he was glad to have an athlete whose virtue and character he really admired (and with which I completely agreed), he made a comment about how he still believed in the two political parties in the 2012 election, "no matter what the 'dubious dreamers' say. Now, what Huckabee knows of this blog, or if he is just getting his information secondhand, from the political community ambit, I don't know. However, I feel the need to defend my recent prediction, even though I know that it seems incredible, right now. First of all, I would remind the governor, and anyone else who would ridicule or dismiss this prediction, that my "dubious dreams" have helped to save his native state on about four separate occasions. I may be wrong sometimes, but I have been correct often enough, to deserve a little respect. Secondly, the demise of the current two-party system is not a "dream" that I have. I still am a card-carrying member of the Democrat Party, even though I was SORELY tempted to change my voter registration to Independent during the month of August 2008. It was only the chuckles elicited by a web site that shared my sentiments (PUMA)--"Party Unity My Ass", which kept me from picking up the phone to call the county clerk's office (that, and the Clintons' appeal to us PUMA's). Even though I am affiliated with the Democrat Party, there are Republicans who I like and admire, and would rather see elected to office than their Democrat counterpart. So, let me state for the record that my fear that the Dem/Rep parties may be on the verge of collapse, goes back YEARS. I can't even recall exactly when was the first time I read a psychic prediction that the 2012/2016 election cycles would see a complete reordering in American politics, but it was at the very beginning of the conspiracy theory trip. It felt right to me then, and it feels right to me (I am speaking of intuition, not emotion), now--I am just unsure as to the specifics, which is a big deal, I know. However, I always assume the worst case scenario, and my intuition also confirms major and radical changes in 2012, so I think it likely that 2012 will be the year. Now, the governor may be suffering from the blindness of the virtuous. That is, because he is a man of honor and integrity, he really may not realize how corrupt his party has become (and I say the same thing about the Democrat party). How does he think it is going to play when Americans learn about 9/11 and the 10-year war in Iraq? That the Republican party has been full of full-blown, hard-core satanists (and yes, the same can be said for Dems), that the Republican presidents that they admire are pedophile placeholders while bureaucratic titans behind the scenes really run the country with drug running, graft, and a full blown desire to destroy this country? I think there ARE good and patriotic Republicans, just as there are good Democrats. That is why I gave them all a heads up. It is not some prediction for which I got paid or received any kind of satisfaction in making. It was a heads up for good and virtuous politicians of either/both parties to start thinking how they are going to weather the change. Realistically speaking (not intuitively), I do not see how it is possible for either party to survive the fallout of voter disillusionment that is almost certain to occur as the truth starts coming out. Remember Wikileaks? I may have found it deplorable, but it was a long term plan set up by the factions trying to destroy this country and bring about a NWO. I would not be at all surprised if they got another, similar plan, waiting to spring. The best (most efficacious) politicians of our country, have been compromised to some extent. The ones who don't have any dirt clinging to them, are the ones who have been tip-toeing around the brawl in the mud that is being fought between good and evil. Yet, voters will not be given the full picture--they will be shown what the KaBal wants them to see--so that the real and true fighters and champions of the American people--the patriots of both the Reps and the Dems--go down in ignominious scandal. As for me, I just wait. I wish i could say that it is an enjoyable and pleasant wait, but it is not. I am so sick with the drugs that I am given, and so mutilated and cut on, by my astral tormentors, that I am in CONSTANT pain and misery. I try to focus on small things, to stay abreast of current events, but I am suffering terribly. However, I think that it is going to be a while, before I do anything other than curl in a psychological fetal position. It is hard, but sometimes, it is best just to wait. I am getting too sick--need to go.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

severely sick and suffering

severely sick and suffering--finally looked at self in mirror, saw how bizaree i look--no wonder the KaBalist didnt want me to visit myh mother--she wouldn't recognize the freak that I have become. i can tell by my temple gray how much my forehead keeps being raised. dont know if that is what is making me so sick. dont care. would rather die than ever give in to the goddamened MACHINE. I see pope on top of drudge report. the goddamned catholic KaBalists (the ones who say Lord, Lord, but really have nothing but contempt for religion of any kind), probably want to get another patsy in place, since ratziger is fully controlled. The MACHINE is everywhere. I try not to get overwhelmed, but stories of ITS presence are everywhere, from the Penn State QB who suffered a seizure (my God, I think that town is overrun by satanists--I worry that there are not going to be 12 jurors that the Sandusky prosecution can trust. I think even McCready (?) may be on the fringes of the occult--just a little more decent about drawing the line at sodomizing young boys. Of course, the movies are big at this time of year, and the occult is heavily represented there, too. Jordan Maxwell does a good job of explaining the movie industry as wizards whose purpose is to cast a spell on us--very little gets financed unless it correlates to and acquiesces to the machine's agenda. Steven Spielberg is very involved in satanic occult and pedophilia and George Lucas, probably marginally so (and maybe deeper than i am willing to concede right now--but I don't have time to go digging deep), but then where does the list stop? Stanley Kubrick for sure (RIP, murdered for exposing too much), James Cameron? The whole thing with Natalie Wood--it wasn't Robert Wagner who killed her, though he may have done so inadvertently. S\However, she had a wild, experimental streak and got involved with occult types--marrying one--a "Gregson", and starring in a movie with another occult heavy, Christopher Walken, before her death. Just the fact that Wagner's career died after the incident tells me that he was innocent of wrongdoing--he was probably trying to protect his wife. Of course, i have got some substance to back up these allegations, but i am too sick to write it out here. I used to enjoy talking to Dale, when I was too sick to write things out, but i haven't felt like i was connecting with a real person in a while. it became more draining to make the trip and talk to her than not. It was interesting though that "she" became so offended when i talked to her about being given HIV. Now, i could be wrong--i am much too sick right now, to trust my intuition. However, I dreamed that i had HIV twice. So, why would the KaBal care whether or not i have HIV? Well, I have a theory. I think the goddamned religious KaBalists messed with the timeline when they interfered with my relationship with Augusta. Not only I was powerfully in love with her, i was satisfied that should I become infected with HIV, it was God's will. By throwing me in jail and forbidding me to relate to her, this faction of dog Sirians actively tampered with the timeline, which they then tried to "fix" by giving me the virus by and injection when i went to the doctor. PFFFTTTT!--Pieces of shit--it wasn't just the goddamned virus you changed--it was the whole relationship thing. I guess I should thank the bastards--otherwise i would be laden with even more guilt regarding my sexuality. as it is, as much as I have suffered, I know that if I ever am to be fully functional and creative, i need a significant other. But anyway, why would they try to cover up their little lie about the HIV? Because insofar as there is some "Galatic Federation" in the cosmic sky, they monitor the rules for such infractions, and whether true or not, that is what they threw at Salusa, which ended up with him being ostracized. However, the dog Sirians are equally as guilty. Aaah well, from what I can tell, there is no more justice in the higher consciousness realms than there is in ours, but by God, I will NOT be party to injustice and lies. Anyway, after taking 2 tramadol, fiornal, fernegan, and vicodin, i got enough energy to write this post. going to lay down and hope I wake up in the morning, but if i dont, i dont care.

Practically no life force left in me

Practically no life force left in me, as I unable to drag myself to do even the simplest of tasks. My head says, "do something small", but the body absolutely cannot comply. On top of all that, I am in a lot of pain--not only in shoulders and back, but I never know when a deep, throbbing nerve pain in my groin is going to cause me to nearly pass out in pain, and brea a sweat. I know testosterone would help, but i am sick of spending on money on products, including food, that are tamered with. you know, destroying my body is a hell of a way to get someone to ascend. it wont work--not with me. forget about ascension. i would be grateful if i could just wash dishes. only good thing is Christmas is all done for me. i should make a ocuple of phone calls to fam--maybe when i feel better. i put lights and a colored bauble wreath on my window, and I like to look at when i am sick. of course, my neighbor across the way hung their lights in two flashing V signs for amon-ra, but i don't care. To me, Christmas is a good holiday, and if the satanists want to make it about an Illuminati and satanic festival of lights, well that is just another perverted twist of which they are masters. I think it is good that the season motivates people to get out of themselves and think of othersutwhen the weather is so inhospitable, that the natural inclination is just to burrow under blankets. having said that, there is not much i can do but burrow under blankets, but still heart knows what it wants.

Friday, December 16, 2011

More of the same shit

More of the same shit--barely able to function. Eating makes me sick, but i cant tell if the goddamned religious zealot Sirians are still tampering with my food--both at the grocery, and at my home, while I am not here, or if I don't have enough testosterone to digest my food. once again, i m bumping into walls. any kind of testosterone would be so welcome, byut I am constantly stalked, and so low energy that i dont have the initiative to go anywhere or attempt to get anything that might help. just sick of throwing good money after tainted products. think i just need to get into the psychological fetal postition again--recognizing that i cannot win or heal or be productive in this state--only endure at most basic survival level. dont even wish to survive. prefer death to the misery that is my existence right now. to goddamned sick to contiue to keep eyes open.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

More mutilations

More mutilations--I am so uncomfortable in my body as i try to live in a back that is unnaturally arched, and shoulders that are so cut off, that my arms no longer work right. Once again, my cranium was elongated (tell tale white lines), and neck shortened. Face is so full of fluid, I look bizarre. I literally look like I have Down's syndrome, and that is the way people are treating me--excepting, of course, the stalkers Amon Ra uses to harass my every move. I spent most of the day sleeping, finding it impossible to get up and do anything, even though my house is a filthy mess. too sick to care. too sick to read anything. just barely skimming articles. severely autistic with migraine headache. soo, i will go to sleep, but don't know how i will manage to make it to speak with dale tomorrow. i could complain about my body, but I know that these KaBalis have zero regard for body. their desire and objective is to turn me into a non-being ghost-host for evil. i, of course, will not submit, but they can make me suffer terribly. suffering terribly today.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Not all energy vampires are pure evil

Not all energy vampires are pure evil; some of them are just too dysfunctional, fearful and lazy to generate their own energy. Those spiritually and psychologically immature people are the ones allied with the KaBal faction that keeps me deprived of the testosterone I need to function. Those are the ones infatuated with a crippled female avatar, or any featureless Rorschach blob which can serve as an anima figure for their needy, immature selves. Just like teeny boppers fall in love with TV and pop stars, nudie mag girls, and sports heroes, they want a spiritual avatar from which to steal energy, rather than work at finding and liberating their own spiritual energy. It is not surprising that religious traditionalists are involved with this faction, because religious fundamentalists are the worst offenders at idolatrously coveting a spiritual life that they lack in themselves, because they deny their own human impulses and gifts. I am trapped by these fundamentalists, denied the male hormone, testosterone, that I need to live out on my own human impulses and gifts in a creative and productive manner. I drag through life, spending about 12-15 hours a day sleeping. I can not do even simple tasks, like clean my kitchen, or cook food. For three days, I have been trying to get the energy to write three Christmas cards to my immediate family, but I do not have enough initiative to do even that, much less call them. I am barely able to stay abreast of current events, but have no energy to read any of the backlog material that I have bookmarked for research. But the energy vampires are still out to suck every last drop of life that they can get from me. In my previous post, I commented on how I need to close off my energy boundaries, but because high estrogen makes me overwhelmingly passive and energetically defenseless, I am unable to present or maintain any kind of boundaries, whatsoever. I am the juvenile's wet dream anima girl, with absolutely no personality or definition of my own--just there for whatever anyone wants to project on me. I am certain that if I were a woman, high estrogen would work well in my physiological system to keep me protected and productive, but I am not a woman, and the estrogen just turns me into a vegetative and prostituted spiritual slave. I read an article today that there are an estimated 27 million slaves in the world right now--overwhelmingly women who have been involuntarily sold into sexual prostitution, often when they are still young children. To read their stories is truly heartrending. Because I am so imaginative, I try to envision what kind of man would want to have a brief sexual encounter with a girl or woman who is psychologically and spiritually broken and passive--a slave, and I just cannot. Yet the female hormones put me in a state of submissive accessibility that is akin to a spiritual slavery, until, of course, I recognize what is happening, and push back. So, it happened today. I walked up and down the alley a few times, and all the energy vampires came crawling out of the wood work. In a way it was good, for I got to see the occupants who work in the house that the Templars remodeled months ago--yep, still Faction 2, spiritual slave-types. The incident that really pissed me off was when a Hispanic man came walking down the alley carrying bags of aluminum cans. I live downtown, where a lot of people forage for cans, and when I see them, I always offer them my recycling bag of cans, since it isn't worth it to me to take them to a recycling center myself. This guy, though, didn't get the message--that I was happy to give him a few cans and nothing more. He crossed the line and started talking about my "bonita" hat. It is a boys hat, trimmed with faux fur. I bought it for its warmth, but I almost pulled it off to reveal my shorn head, and burst out, "Soy lesbiana". Instead, I just waved him off in disgust, telling him, "adios". Set-up or not, I do not know, because over the last three years, i have recognized that when I am on drugs or estrogen, low self-esteem men gravitate to me like flies. Once, as I walked into a corner store to buy a gallon of water, some guy muttered, "puta" under his breath to me. I was too low-energy to even fire back--believe me, I can defend myself, but it requires a lot of energy that I just don't have when I am drugged or on estrogen. I know who I am--I am just incapable of being myself right now--however, all the damned energy vampires, looking for a girl-child, spiritual avatar on which to feed, be warned that I will fight my battles--its just that I pick and choose which ones are worth the energy expenditure to fight for. I don't care if some idiot calls me a "puta", but by God, I feel sorry for the pig who lays his hands on me, as if I were a "puta". Just saying...

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

St. Augustine's classical argument against evil

St. Augustine's classical argument against evil is that it really doesn't exists--that Being is good and the complete absence of good, absolute evil, doesn't exist. Now, one thing I have learned is that it is not worthwhile to argue deep philosophy or metaphysics, though it was fun and appropriate to do so in college. Especially with all the changes in my understanding of reality and the cosmos, I have lost my bearings as far as a philosophical framework of life and reality is concerned (fortunately, I haven't lost my deepest convictions of faith). However, I still know what I consciously experience, and I got to tell you, St. Augustine was on to something. I am not plumbing the depths of evil with my reason; instead it stalks me everyday. Of course, I am stalked psychically every second I breathe--but that is something I have learned to live with--though it violates my sense of spiritual privacy, which is infuriating. However, in the past couple of days, the evil KaBal has stepped up the attacks. I have written of how some kind of "zapper" is used to transform or virally infect certain substances with instantaneous ease. Of course, all my meds are tampered with this way, and occasionally (especially if I go out to eat), food is adulterated with the viral infecting agent, too. Now, however, the Amon-RA types are even infecting my food while still at the grocery store! This is just an escalation of what they have already done before (I have to monitor my purse (which contains meds), and I know that any biological supplement that I buy, such as vitamin C and D have often been zapped while still on the shelf. For I am stalked in advance of every trip I make (don't forget--the MACHINE psychics are in my head, while I still am searching for my keys). Thus, they were able to beat and meet me at the grocery store I frequent, Smiths--which is a subsidiary of Kroger, and yesterday--they "zapped", infected, ruined, wasted, $72.00 worth of food. (Interesting, 72 is an occult number--the number of stargates, as is the obverse, 27--which is why so many KaBal sponsored artists die, or rather, murdered, at that age). Anyway, I have shopped at Smith's for years, and they were my favorite grocery destiny, but after yesterday, I will never shop there again. I should have seen the escalation coming. Months ago, it had become obvious to me that Amon-RA types harass and stalk me with much greater comfort and audacity at Smith's (once, one of those pricks even pretended to be a bagger), than at any other place. So I started shopping at a new store in town, which is a very reasonable and pleasant place to shop, but they are into natural and healthy foods, so they don't carry all of the basics of which I am guiltily fon , such as frozen Hot Pockets, or my favorite commercial brand of coffee (they sell coffee beans for fresh grinding). So, I still found myself shopping at Smith's intermittently, and thus it was day before yesterday, when I made a list of things to buy, and headed off to the store. Of course, I knew that the MACHINE psychics had read my mind, but I decided to throw a curve ball at them, and go to a different location, about 3 miles away. That is where I saw him--pure, dripping, evil--NON-BEING ITSELF. I can call him a psychic vampire or a spider or evil, but believe me when I tell you, that I came face to face, with a two-legged varmint of NON-BEING. He knew that I was coming and exactly where I would be. You see, my psychological idiosyncrasy (which had dumbass know-nothings swear up and down that I was schizophrenic), is that I constantly talk to myself. Psychics would say that I "broadcast". I think that I picked up that habit as a child, because I was a heavy extrovert (it runs in my family), who, because of autism, only knew how to communicate telepathically. Since there was no one to dialogue with me telepathically, I just started talking to myself. So, I am shopping around, and saying to myself, "I need to get product A" (I can't remember specifically). So I turn the corner where product A is located, and he is just sitting, there like a fucking Black Widow. When I saw him, the first thing I did was smile apologetically (he was positioned, so that I nearly bumped into his cart as i turned the blind corner). Again, my nature is basically friendly and civil. My immediate impression of him was that he was a Hispanic, elderly man. He was wearing a cap that hid his face, but he was very short of stature and slight of build, and it is not uncommon to find Hispanic old-timers who fit that profile. So, I smiled at him, naturally and un-self consciously, and while it pleased him that I genuinely smiled at him, no energetic response came from him, none at all--not annoyance, friendliness, acceptance or surprise. He was just a spiritual black hole--eager to engulf my spiritual energy and agapic warmth, but completely and absolutely incapable of returning anything at all. He was all take, and no give. Now, I know a lot of people in bad relationships say that about their significant others, but they are incorrect. Immature people feed from spiritual energy in a needy, childish, or co-dependent way, but still they are capable of energetic exchange. This guy had absolutely nothing to give--no center, no sense of self, no soul, no spirit. I think its only purpose in life is to find someone from whom it can draw spiritual energy in order to feel alive, in that case, me. It is becoming increasingly clear to me that, indeed, there ARE vampires in the universe--bona-fide, genuinely real vampires, who have had their souls and spirits sucked out by an even bigger black hole. They are lost, "undead souls" who have lost all joy and purpose in being a living, breathing human being. Now, I know why the sons of bitches constantly cut on me (they did it again, last night). These vampires have lost all regard for their corporeality, or as St. Thomas Aquinas would say, their substance, their BEING. I don't know what the hell they get in return for such a horrific trade-off, but from what I have seen, sexual immorality runs rampant in those communities. The men all have the angry, abusive temperament, while the women are just ego-less, limp doormats. I think it is the same trade-off that Satan (in this case, any agent of the MACHINE), always offers--that is, IT looks for what the victim wants or admires, in order to hook it. You know, I think the MACHINE has tried to hook me, by first "channeling" SHIT into my brain while I sleep, and then more pro-actively, under ITS many guises, getting me to believe ITS (not so) subtle lies and innuendo. However, I still am allowing myself to be hooked. I am too generous with my spiritual energy. Like a baby, I think I am surrounded by ALL-love, but I am not. I am surrounded by evil, including these black hole, psychic vampires. I am going to have to assume that everyone around me is potentially evil, and learn to cut off my own spiritual energy. You know, I am starting to "get" the fact that I am cooperating with these evil beings on a profound level. I mean, when I smiled at that vampire, I hoped to have some kind of effect on him. I thought if I smiled, he would smile, that if I gave of my spiritual energy, I would get some back in return, indeed, that if IT were in an evil place, I could somehow coax it back to a holy realm. There was a brief flash when I recognized that this varmint was a rare anomaly, and I was genuinely curious about IT. However, it was not an unbridled curiosity, but even though I pulled back, the damage was done. Later that night, I think I dreamed of cooperating with those evil bastards again. Also, Mr. Psychic Vampire caused me to lose over seventy dollars. When I went to a check out lane, a nervous manager, wringing his hands, pulled me away, and had me go to a fresh lane where the checker was just opening up. He had the zapper on his hands, and contaminated every bit of grocery that I bought. It took me a couple of days to realize the extent of it, but I am certain. You see, the molecular change that they do, literally causes me to be sick, and will often start my head shaking. I checked multiple items by ingestion (I hated to throw out that much food--that was a 1/4 of my monthly food budget, and I already am on a tight budget). I have no one to blame but myself, though. I figured out months ago that Smith's probably was a Nazi-affiliated company. I just couldn't bring myself to quit the grocery where I have shopped for over ten years. Also, I must work on closing off my spiritual energy. Obviously, there are varmints in the world who would take advantage of the openness of my spiritual energy, and I have to be more pro-active and aware when it comes to protecting myself, for the harassment still continues. Today, I went to another, different grocery, and Amon-RA creeps were there again. They zapped a tub of lunch meat that I bought (probably because they read my mind, and got there before I did), but other than that, my groceries were untouched. As I was leaving, however, a woman offered me the stamp coupons that this story uses as a promo. I can spot an Amon-RA devotee from a mile away--they are as psychologically and emotionally messed up as they can be. However, I am starting to learn--they take my own friendliness and gratitude, and then use it against me in the astral realm. My unconscious co-operation has got to stop. I need to make sure that I keep my spiritual boundaries COMPLETELY closed off when I am in a public space. Otherwise these vampires will suck the life blood right out of me.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Once again, I am on the "late freight"

Once again, I am on the "late freight" in my understanding of what is happening in my unconscious life, but I have finally figured it out, and I couldn't be more unhappy about it. Apparently, a couple of nights ago, I helped to set Barack Obama free of his involuntary mind-control from Amon-RA. Now he is controlled by the dog Sirians, who basically, are the ones running this country right now, and pretty much the entire planet. I am not sure if it is the "slight build" faction of the dog Sirians, or the more swarthy and "regular build" of the dog Sirians, or both. I do know that these are the religious fundamentalists, who are looking to set up yet another, "planetary mind fuck" (Cliff High's term), to last us through the upcoming 2300 year eon, by foisting yet another mind control religion on humanity. Of course, right now they seem to be bent on invigorating a contemporary religion--fundamentalist Islam and fundamentalist Christianity, whether Catholic or evangelical, would serve nicely. The most important truth about religion as planetary mind fuck, is that it actually hinders and even, prevents an authentic spirituality. Rather it creates spiritual slaves who sacrifice and submit their free will and open mind to the psychological mind control of submission to "God" and religion. Then it becomes so easy for the MACHINE to worm ITS way into the minds and institutions of humanity. So then, why did I assist in this process--which was a difficult and physically painful and exhausting thing to do? Am I mind-controlled by the MACHINE or the dog Sirians? I don't think so, because I still understand, consciously, what is happening, and resist it. First of all, I keep saying over and over again, that I wait for the day that the dog and cat Sirians are reconciled. I don't think that such reconciliation is on the immediate horizon. Even though, I personally, identify more as a cat Sirian, I have equal regard for the dog Sirians. However cat-identified psychics need to be very aware that some of the dog Sirians are looking to set up concentration camps in the Arctic circle. The magnetism of the poles prevent interdimensional travel. I think that is where Salusa spent decades. I know that Barack Obama would just as soon throw me and Hillary Clinton into such a camp, but the dog Sirians will protect me as long as they think that they can turn me into their avatar. Also, I have helped to save some dog Sirians from the MACHINE in the past, and unlike MISTER Obama, who has not a whit of gratitude, I believe some of the dog Sirians would act to protect my back. I will act to protect anyone's back---Salusa, Hillary Clinton, any patriot, or even an empty shirt with no content of character like Barack Obama. I figured out that it must have been Obama who I called "nigger". Consciously, I don't use that kind of language. While I recognize that literally it connotes a person of small worth who does not merit much respect, symbolically it carries a heritage of the hate and slavery imposed by Whites upon Blacks. Since consciously, I am White, I cannot use that word without identifying myself as being in the heritage of the hate. Unconsciously, I don't think race applies, since I have been Black in previous experience. Of course, I do not "hate" Mister Obama, or I would not have suffered so much to help save him. As he would say though, in his best and sonorous, acting voice, LET ME BE CLEAR. My low opinion of him hasn't changed one iota. I acted to save him because as a MAN, I am compelled to help all human, or sentient, beings to the best of my ability. I knew that i was saving a person with no sense of self or manhood, and even now, I know that he would just as soon kill me or imprison me, if he thought he could get away with it. Men (and all psychics out there who aspire to manhood, learn this) do not act to help and save others, because they "deserve it", because they are congruent with your ideology or agenda, or because of what they will do for you and your self esteem. Men act because the mature person (and it could be a woman as easily as a man, but for women it comes more naturally, whereas for men it is an acquired virtue) recognizes the worth of all sentient beings, regardless of circumstantial conditions or assessed value. You open the door for the elderly lady with sagging stockings, with the same aplomb and grace that you demonstrate for the "hot babe" in the prime of her beauty. Barack Obama has no depth of character or virtue of manhood, whatsoever. After reading both his books and studying the man for years, I think that he is a genuine hater and racist. However, first and foremost, my spiritual identity and convictions affirm that he is a human being, capable of, (dare I say) "change", conversion, and love of his fellow humans and God. So, I do not regret freeing him from the mind control of MACHINE-RA, not one bit. I wish that I could free all the souls in "hell". I do regret the fact that, once again, he is going to be the face of leadership in this country. Make no mistake, people, the fundamentalist dog Sirians are the ones who will really be running this country, for the foreseeable future. So, knowing all this, why did I act to help the fundamentalist dog Sirians re-install Mr. Obama? I think it was because unconsciously I knew the same thing I knew in 2008 when I, very reluctantly and heavy heart, decided to vote for him. Somehow, I know that this gives my country, my planet, my people (all of them--Americans, Terrans, Browns, Whites, Blacks, and Yellows, Human and Alien), the best chance for survival. Absolutely nothing has changed in my estimation of the future. I still hope that this country and planet can survive 2012, without major catastrophe. I still believe that Hillary Rodham Clinton is the gifted (and heavily laden) leader who will somehow, make this happen. All factions of aliens are betting on an extinction level event. Barack Obama couldn't lead a den of cub scouts in a campfire song. Joe Biden is sincere and capable, but doesn't have that fire in his belly. Not one single Republican candidate inspires me with anything other than outright fear. I admire Ron Paul's fierce honesty, but while he is dead on about so much of what is wrong with this country, he really doesn't have the vision to roll with the changes that the 2012 scenario are going to entail. Yet, we are in a dangerous and very vulnerable time. I am catching intuitive glimmers of the threat facing us. The lost drone with the biological agent weapons was just the tip of the iceberg. What is causing all of the helicopter and small aircraft crashes? When I try to research them, they seem to point to Amon-RA types involved. Are agents of the MACHINE already trying to spread aerosolized viral agents? One of the women involved in an aircraft accident, "walked into" a propeller blade, and chopped off her left hand in a "defensive" move. This phraseology came from a cable news anchor! Wake up America! How the hell does someone walk into a propeller, and then raise their hand in a defensive move. And yes, her parents were crying on camera, just like the Anthony parents (the young woman probably was resistant to the idea of attacking her homeland, and needed an "attitude check"). Then Drudge carried an article about the use of drones becoming increasingly commonplace, in the service of police. It is just a matter of time, before an armed drone commits a successful attack. So what is saving us? My guess--the dog Sirians. It does not serve their agenda that the USA succumb to biological attack--not just yet, anyway. So they are shooting down those aircraft, and yes, we need them, or the mortality rate from weaponized 'flu could well be over 50% of the country. I don't know what the short term agenda of the fundamentalist dog sirians is yet--maybe First Contact--but I know one thing for sure--they want an ass-kisser in place, not a genuine leader. Hence, Barack Obama, not the clone, is back in the White House, and Hillary Clinton needs to redouble her security efforts. However, I say this to everyone reading this blog--Hillary Clinton is the real President of this country. Not only does Obama have no leadership skill or ability (he is just a good actor), Hillary is the one who has proven that she can accomplish political objectives. Well, I still stand behind Hillary, and will certainly redouble all my efforts to help her in any way I can. It is just that this is not a time for action. For me, such an acceptance of patient suffering and waiting is nothing new--i have been doing it for years. However, I imagine it is excruciatingly counterintuitive to a person whose vocation is political action. I am not worried about Mr. Obama winning re-election. I don't think he will--at all. As a matter of fact, even with all the alien "heavies" guarding him, I still stand by what I said a few months earlier. I don't think he will have a long natural lifespan, although I certainly am not predicting an assassination--there is something macabre about even thinking about it, so I refuse to imaginatively "sit" with the idea, to see whether or not I get a "ping". I will just say that if I were Mr. Obama's friend, I would tell him to live each day as if it were his last. I am glad that his children got to see their father's mind restored. It is clear to intuitives (and children are very intuitive), when someone is brainwashed, and their parents' condition had to be distressing for them. What I am worried about is chaotic political upheaval. The KaBalists are going to try to undermine both political parties and all major political players, and it is not going to be that difficult. I think by 2016, it is very likely that both the Democrat and Republican party will be virtually dead--and that is a best case scenario prediction. I am more worried about the 2012 election, because I do not want to see Hillary Clinton victimized by half truths of dirty revelations. So the only thing I can recommend to others is the same thing I tell myself, "stay loose, stay flexible, stay alert, and STAY ALIVE". There will be an opening for action--I believe that as firmly as I believed in 2008 that Hillary Clinton would somehow find a way to save this country in an incompetent Obama administration, surrounded by enemies. However, be aware, that maybe radical change will come sooner than anyone expected, and have a plan to be ahead of that possibility. Be ready to make a move that defines your own selves, before you are defined by enemies--and especially stay one step ahead of the stench of the political corruption that is going to engulf the Obama White House--before November of 2012, nay before the summer of 2012.

I woke up catatonic

I woke up catatonic after a hellish night of pain. I mean, literally and classically catatonic. I was even catatonic in my sleep. I am recovering a little bit, though I can not move my head and have a terrific headache. I am writing this first thing in the morning, because I figured out what has been happening the past few days. Once again, I have been mutilated--probably a couple of days ago. The aliens doing the mutilation cut out more muscle from my lats (sides--I don't even think I have lats anymore), forcing a more narrow waist, and bulging fat belly. It may seem surprising that I didn't notice it the morning after it happened, but at this point, I am largely alienated from my body, and because routine bathing and dressing are such demanding chores, I am taking advantage of the winter weather, staying in rumpled and layered clothing for a week at a time. As a matter of fact, I had felt pretty good the past couple of days, and found that I could do my exercise constitution, walking up and down the alley. However, I did notice that I was suffering from increased back pain and loss of muscle neurons. What I found out was that even simple and slow walking, caused back/hip/pelvis pain, and that I had developed a pinched nerve in my back that I could feel every time I took a moderately large step. As a matter of fact, I started to consider unloading the unused treadmill in my living room, or trading it for a stationary bike. I used to love to exercise on that treadmill, and even after the viral downloads killed off so much of my muscle, I kept myself fit by walking on that machine, while watching sporting games on TV. However, I haven't been able to use it for over a year, and the kind of pain that i am now suffering while taking even slow and deliberate steps, means that there is not much point in keeping it. If I could trade it for a stationary bike that would be great, because I still can bike. However, such an un exploratory endeavor takes effort, and I have such low energy, that my house is in a perpetual state of MESS! However, all these considerations paled in significance after the viral download hit last night for the first time in a couple of days. You see the shaved off abdominal sides of my body, means that my back and hip musculature are no longer enough to support my body (I had noticed that I can no longer rise up from a prone position in the last couple of days--the fucking pigs cut out healthy muscle cells and left nothing but dead weight), and when they spasm, the pain is unbearable. Even worse, I now am suffering heightened nerve pain--not only in my legs, but also in my belly. The pain is so bad that I was unable to sleep, even with two vicodin, two tramadol, and a pull of vodka to help me. I would doze in and out of sleep, and at one point turned on the tv at 3 am to watch a Jane Fonda interview--it just rubs salt in the wound to hear a 74-year old woman push even a modified exercise regimen, and realize that I can't even do a leg lift. I couldn't even get my feet into a pair of Ugg boots yesterday--my legs no longer work properly. On top of all that, once again my optic nerve in the right eye is under severe pressure, and I am having difficulty with eyesight in that eye. So much for me and my suffering. Who is causing it? Why the Sirian aliens of course--or at least a faction of them. These are the same Sirian aliens that have been interfering with and causing misery on this planet for centuries. They were responsible powerbrokering monarchs and sultanates, they caused the Black Death, and now their latest project is to wipe out over 90% of the Earth's population via biological warfare. Now, I am not sure which faction of dog Sirians are most responsible--they are the ones very slight of build--which is why they keep mutilating my body even though such a small frame is severely deterimental to the functioning of my body. I think thatvhey are dog Sirians (although there are dog Sirians who ar of more normal build), and while I associate cat Sirians with the Amon-RA cult, ultimately I believe that all of these Sirians are vulnerable to powerful mind control manipulation. You see, I think that their more crystalline brains and abbreviated childhood formation leaves their brain much more simple in structure and clear in pathways, in order for the MACHINE to "flip a switch" to change their internal code. We humans are much more difficult to program, because of all the complexes we carry as a result of our lengthy, complicated, and often painful childhood and adolescence. I know people may have difficulty understanding this, but somehow I feel that I need not only to help not just any one faction of Sirians, but all Sirians. Somehow, they have to be free of that infernal MACHINE, and until they are, I suffer the same slavery. Well, not quite the same, because I fight the MACHINE consciously, which is why I am writing this. I also do not have the requisite body to survive in any kind of acceptable fashion with this alien virus in me. Life is hell, as long as this virus is in me, but as long as I live, I will fight with every weapon at my disposal, and that is what this blog is about. What caused this latest resurgence on the part of the slightly built, dog Sirian faction? Well, they have lost some key players. This faction is all about religious fundamentalism. It doesn't matter what religious denomination. This faction outlook is essentially blasphemous--God exists to pervert humans into slavery. Well, they lost Louis Freeh, and they lost the Iranian connection through Khamenei--who was well hidden behind his fundamentalist front, but what really caused a backlash was when I outed Dick Durbin. I do believe that Sen. Durbin, with his Georgetown (Jesuit) credentials was their "golden boy". As a matter of fact (I am speculating of course), I suspect that the aliens were pushing him to be vice-president, and while they may have indulged Hillary Clinton and the patriots of this country, they will never stand for a strong, independent leader to get into a position of power--we are just too hard for them to control. Hell, I can't even get a job--which turned out for the best, because my unemployment allowed me to research so much, but you get the point. These Sirians--all factions of them--are the ultimate control freaks. However, they also are much more technologically advanced than we are--and so we must come to some modus operandi with them. That is what I am attempting to do--but when the most evil of the groups gain traction and control, I suffer and am stymied. I have warned about it, but I am warning again. All patriots lay low. I would not recommend trusting any faction of the Sirians until it is clear that the negative faction has been clearly defeated. Until then, the best bet is to lay low, and continue to seek alliances and partnerships with people who may be ideologically or culturally different, but who recognize the blasphemous "religious" evil that is facing us. The only way that we will survive is if we shake off the "princess and the pea" mentality. This is a myth that Jungians like to use to illustrate the hypersensitivity of the psychologically immature. No matter how many mattresses the spoiled princess sleeps on, she cannot get a good night's sleep, because the thought that a pea is lying beneath her, just drives her to distraction and rage. We all need to learn how to sleep on a mattress-covered pea, because that "pea" is what the MACHINE is using to cause divisiveness between us, and gain the upper hand. My guess is that the MACHINE has centuries of practice at doing this, and that IT first did this by practicing on the Sirians, and fanning a bitter enmity between them. Politically, I would say especially to our leaders here--not only get along with your ideological opponents, but make overt alliances with them. I am going to let you in on a little secret. The negative Sirians want to destroy all existing, stable political structures and institutions, and in the US that means the two-party system of Democrats and Republicans. I myself believe that there is a very strong possibility that both parties may be effectively "dead" by 2016. So, for the patriots of both parties, and especially for my endorsement for the 2012 presidency--Hillary Clinton--I say, start thinking outside the box. Don't be afraid of radical change. In 2008, I wished out loud that McCain would choose Hillary as his veep. I know that was a radical, if not "heretical" thought, but I think that if it had happened, both parties would be in a stronger position to survive the oncoming upheaval, and maybe, just maybe, (speaking selfishly for myself), I would be in a safer position than I am now. One last comment--in my dream last night, a Black man was very angry with me, telling me, "don't talk to me". Judging from Internet postings, I wonder if I used the N-word in an astral dimension. If so, I don't know why I did--it is a hate term that no educated person should ever use. However maybe I did it to get Blacks desensitized to the pea under the mattress. The Black community is very vulnerable to manipulation that leads to self-destruction. The "pea" of racism, humiliation, and slight, becomes a huge stone that leads to rancorous feelings of victimization and self-defeating attitudes and behavior (remember that everyone on this planet has to undergo the trials and humiliation of their particular self-dentity--except for "princesses" of course). I must warn my Black psychic brothers and sisters, that you all are just as vulnerable to enslavement to the MACHINE as religious fundamentalists are (don't think that your patron, Salusa, can save you--he may want to, but he is subject to MACHINE manipulation as well).