I woke up catatonic

I woke up catatonic after a hellish night of pain. I mean, literally and classically catatonic. I was even catatonic in my sleep. I am recovering a little bit, though I can not move my head and have a terrific headache. I am writing this first thing in the morning, because I figured out what has been happening the past few days. Once again, I have been mutilated--probably a couple of days ago. The aliens doing the mutilation cut out more muscle from my lats (sides--I don't even think I have lats anymore), forcing a more narrow waist, and bulging fat belly. It may seem surprising that I didn't notice it the morning after it happened, but at this point, I am largely alienated from my body, and because routine bathing and dressing are such demanding chores, I am taking advantage of the winter weather, staying in rumpled and layered clothing for a week at a time. As a matter of fact, I had felt pretty good the past couple of days, and found that I could do my exercise constitution, walking up and down the alley. However, I did notice that I was suffering from increased back pain and loss of muscle neurons. What I found out was that even simple and slow walking, caused back/hip/pelvis pain, and that I had developed a pinched nerve in my back that I could feel every time I took a moderately large step. As a matter of fact, I started to consider unloading the unused treadmill in my living room, or trading it for a stationary bike. I used to love to exercise on that treadmill, and even after the viral downloads killed off so much of my muscle, I kept myself fit by walking on that machine, while watching sporting games on TV. However, I haven't been able to use it for over a year, and the kind of pain that i am now suffering while taking even slow and deliberate steps, means that there is not much point in keeping it. If I could trade it for a stationary bike that would be great, because I still can bike. However, such an un exploratory endeavor takes effort, and I have such low energy, that my house is in a perpetual state of MESS! However, all these considerations paled in significance after the viral download hit last night for the first time in a couple of days. You see the shaved off abdominal sides of my body, means that my back and hip musculature are no longer enough to support my body (I had noticed that I can no longer rise up from a prone position in the last couple of days--the fucking pigs cut out healthy muscle cells and left nothing but dead weight), and when they spasm, the pain is unbearable. Even worse, I now am suffering heightened nerve pain--not only in my legs, but also in my belly. The pain is so bad that I was unable to sleep, even with two vicodin, two tramadol, and a pull of vodka to help me. I would doze in and out of sleep, and at one point turned on the tv at 3 am to watch a Jane Fonda interview--it just rubs salt in the wound to hear a 74-year old woman push even a modified exercise regimen, and realize that I can't even do a leg lift. I couldn't even get my feet into a pair of Ugg boots yesterday--my legs no longer work properly. On top of all that, once again my optic nerve in the right eye is under severe pressure, and I am having difficulty with eyesight in that eye. So much for me and my suffering. Who is causing it? Why the Sirian aliens of course--or at least a faction of them. These are the same Sirian aliens that have been interfering with and causing misery on this planet for centuries. They were responsible powerbrokering monarchs and sultanates, they caused the Black Death, and now their latest project is to wipe out over 90% of the Earth's population via biological warfare. Now, I am not sure which faction of dog Sirians are most responsible--they are the ones very slight of build--which is why they keep mutilating my body even though such a small frame is severely deterimental to the functioning of my body. I think thatvhey are dog Sirians (although there are dog Sirians who ar of more normal build), and while I associate cat Sirians with the Amon-RA cult, ultimately I believe that all of these Sirians are vulnerable to powerful mind control manipulation. You see, I think that their more crystalline brains and abbreviated childhood formation leaves their brain much more simple in structure and clear in pathways, in order for the MACHINE to "flip a switch" to change their internal code. We humans are much more difficult to program, because of all the complexes we carry as a result of our lengthy, complicated, and often painful childhood and adolescence. I know people may have difficulty understanding this, but somehow I feel that I need not only to help not just any one faction of Sirians, but all Sirians. Somehow, they have to be free of that infernal MACHINE, and until they are, I suffer the same slavery. Well, not quite the same, because I fight the MACHINE consciously, which is why I am writing this. I also do not have the requisite body to survive in any kind of acceptable fashion with this alien virus in me. Life is hell, as long as this virus is in me, but as long as I live, I will fight with every weapon at my disposal, and that is what this blog is about. What caused this latest resurgence on the part of the slightly built, dog Sirian faction? Well, they have lost some key players. This faction is all about religious fundamentalism. It doesn't matter what religious denomination. This faction outlook is essentially blasphemous--God exists to pervert humans into slavery. Well, they lost Louis Freeh, and they lost the Iranian connection through Khamenei--who was well hidden behind his fundamentalist front, but what really caused a backlash was when I outed Dick Durbin. I do believe that Sen. Durbin, with his Georgetown (Jesuit) credentials was their "golden boy". As a matter of fact (I am speculating of course), I suspect that the aliens were pushing him to be vice-president, and while they may have indulged Hillary Clinton and the patriots of this country, they will never stand for a strong, independent leader to get into a position of power--we are just too hard for them to control. Hell, I can't even get a job--which turned out for the best, because my unemployment allowed me to research so much, but you get the point. These Sirians--all factions of them--are the ultimate control freaks. However, they also are much more technologically advanced than we are--and so we must come to some modus operandi with them. That is what I am attempting to do--but when the most evil of the groups gain traction and control, I suffer and am stymied. I have warned about it, but I am warning again. All patriots lay low. I would not recommend trusting any faction of the Sirians until it is clear that the negative faction has been clearly defeated. Until then, the best bet is to lay low, and continue to seek alliances and partnerships with people who may be ideologically or culturally different, but who recognize the blasphemous "religious" evil that is facing us. The only way that we will survive is if we shake off the "princess and the pea" mentality. This is a myth that Jungians like to use to illustrate the hypersensitivity of the psychologically immature. No matter how many mattresses the spoiled princess sleeps on, she cannot get a good night's sleep, because the thought that a pea is lying beneath her, just drives her to distraction and rage. We all need to learn how to sleep on a mattress-covered pea, because that "pea" is what the MACHINE is using to cause divisiveness between us, and gain the upper hand. My guess is that the MACHINE has centuries of practice at doing this, and that IT first did this by practicing on the Sirians, and fanning a bitter enmity between them. Politically, I would say especially to our leaders here--not only get along with your ideological opponents, but make overt alliances with them. I am going to let you in on a little secret. The negative Sirians want to destroy all existing, stable political structures and institutions, and in the US that means the two-party system of Democrats and Republicans. I myself believe that there is a very strong possibility that both parties may be effectively "dead" by 2016. So, for the patriots of both parties, and especially for my endorsement for the 2012 presidency--Hillary Clinton--I say, start thinking outside the box. Don't be afraid of radical change. In 2008, I wished out loud that McCain would choose Hillary as his veep. I know that was a radical, if not "heretical" thought, but I think that if it had happened, both parties would be in a stronger position to survive the oncoming upheaval, and maybe, just maybe, (speaking selfishly for myself), I would be in a safer position than I am now. One last comment--in my dream last night, a Black man was very angry with me, telling me, "don't talk to me". Judging from Internet postings, I wonder if I used the N-word in an astral dimension. If so, I don't know why I did--it is a hate term that no educated person should ever use. However maybe I did it to get Blacks desensitized to the pea under the mattress. The Black community is very vulnerable to manipulation that leads to self-destruction. The "pea" of racism, humiliation, and slight, becomes a huge stone that leads to rancorous feelings of victimization and self-defeating attitudes and behavior (remember that everyone on this planet has to undergo the trials and humiliation of their particular self-dentity--except for "princesses" of course). I must warn my Black psychic brothers and sisters, that you all are just as vulnerable to enslavement to the MACHINE as religious fundamentalists are (don't think that your patron, Salusa, can save you--he may want to, but he is subject to MACHINE manipulation as well).