Tuesday, December 6, 2011

First day I have been able to do more than barely move

First day I have been able to do more than barely move, and I got a chance to look and feel what the latest round of aliens have done to me. My face is barely recognizable with a lopsided chin, and now I have a "Sandusky nose"--pinched and flat at the top, ballooning out at the bottom. I've gained weight--not surprising considering that I have been force fed drugs, nearly immobilized by total lack of energy, and eating sugar in hope to feel like a human being again. I guess it is a faction of dog sirians who are responsible for the latest hell I have been put through. They are the ones who want me to identify as female. WELL GET THIS ASSHOLES-P-YOU HAVE COMPLETELY DESTROYED MY NATURAL SYMMETRY AND FEMININE FEATURES IN MY FACE. For the first time in my life, I feel really ugly and know that the only way this bloated, huge rectangular face and oversized head is ever going to look right is on a male body! The facial features and cranium I now have are probably more clos to the original DNA print of my body--which is MALE. No more small, oval shaped face and small, round head for me. Then there is the monstrosity that is my body. I went to a bookstore, looking for gift subscription ideas, and the only magazine i really wanted for myself (besides a Scientific American collection of essays on "time"), was the body building magazines. I long and yearn for the days when I could work out, and feel my muscles burn and bulge. I hate feeling this goddamned mutilated boobed body, and where hard muscle used to be, now there is nothing but fat. The body is such a wreck, i can't even stand on my own too feet for long--the locked muscles are too painful. Oh, but no worries--from my dreams of the last two nights, I gather these sick religious zealots all have plans for me to enter a monastery. FUCK THAT!!! I already gave that full and due consideration, and know it is not for me. A couple of nights ago, I dreamed that I was approached by one of the nuns at SLI, and I guess I shined her, because last night I dreamed that someone told me, "If Jesus saved you, would you go to a monastery?" LOL. Same old devil deal that I was tempted to make years ago, before I realized that God doesn't set conditions for grace. That is how Martin Luther ended up miserable for years in a monastery, and even though i have done everything possible to escape from the clutches of this dysfunctional religious institution, I just cannot. (Oh, and by the way, Jesus already has saved me...) It is these aliens who are destroying me--they have destroyed my body, my energy, my spirit, my love, my joy. I used to be such a happy person, and now I am so miserable I just long for death. However, I persevere--realizing that it is not only about me. It was the negative Faction 2 who brought down that spy drone I just don't know if it was an Amalekite UFO based in Pakistan which tractor beamed it to its ally, Iran, or if the mind-controlled traitors at Lockheed Martin installed a secret, back door hijacking mechanism which allowed them to literally take control of the craft, and land it in Iran. In any case, this loss not only signifies serious theft of technology, but it is a warning that once again, the MACHINE minions can override critical systems that we depend on for defense and technology. Who knows what fighter/bomber planes have this critical self-sabotage software built into them? Or how about another GE nuclear power plant override--maybe the one in Washington state... Anyway, it looks like the worst of the crisis has panned out--probably the Patriot Leadership Team made major concessions and alliances on terms less than desirable. Certainly, I am still stuck in this hell with these aliens constantly trying to force me to be someone I am not, and leaving my body wracked with pain and my energy levels practically above zero level. On top of it all, is the ever present female hormones which I hate with a passion. Even now the goddamned mucous coating my mouth is driving me nuts, but more than anything, it is the irritability and hatred for life that excess female hormones cause me, that I have to deal with. Time to go to sleep and get abducted once again.

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