You know, I think my entire problem is that I am not angry enough--that for too long, I have allowed myself to be abused and violated BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN SOCIALIZED TO BE FEMININE. Always be nice. Don't let your anger show. BULLSHIT. BULLSHIT. BULLSHIT. So what happens is that a bunch of fucking rapist pricks run roughshod over me. I ignore warning signs. I try to be nice, to be "Christian", to "love" the people who abuse me, and what happens, the same damned abuse plays out over and over again.
Fucking Amon RA pigs got me again--basically they can "zap" my cart from anywhere in the store, making it impossible for me buy uncontaminated food. The fucking EM zapper they use makes me very ill--even now I can feel the congested brain stem. Either or I am going to starve (especially given my exaggerated protein needs), or I am going to end up in the hospital with brain seizures from the swollen brain stem.
So, I have to convince myself that all my socialization as a female is total bullshit--that I have a right to my anger, and to act on it. Right now brain isnt thinking because the fucking handful of potato chips and 3 fish oil tabs have got my brain completely fried.
STUPID GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKERS. FUCK YOU, FUCK YOUR MOTHER, AND BURN IN HELL, ALL YOU RAPIST FUCKING PIGS!!!