Saturday, March 31, 2012

PS--

PS--in case u r wondering why i am so fucking pissed, you mother fuckers, i know exactly the lies you fed pf to get her to have me post the goddamned five dollar contribution. i know you ltold her that you would help boost me. what you really did, you mother fuckers was wind her up on excessive testosterone, which since she is intersexed like me, she can handle, but it drives her nearly crazy with emotional and SEXUAL energy, but YOU KNEW THAT MOTHERFUCKERS DIDN'T YOU? YOU KNEW THAT WAS EXACTLY HOW THEY MIND PROGRAMMED HER TO PERFORM WHEN SHE WAS A SEX SLAVE. Why you gave her excess tstosterone, and me even extra excess estrogen, knowing that t drive s her vfucking crazy and estrogen drives me fucking crazy, just trtying to play fucking mind games with our fucking heads and fucking identioty. hAVE FUN, YOU GODDAMNED, WICKED, EVIL SONS OF BITCHES? YOU FUCKING GODDAMNED WORHTLESS PIECES OF SHIT, SCUM OF FUCKING HUMANITY. YOUR FUCKING NEW WORLD ORDER AND MATRIS IS GOIN G TO FUCKING B URNF AND I AM GOING TO DO MY FUCKIN G PART. SICK AND TIRED OF YOU FUCKING TRAFFICKERS IN HUMAN LIVES, BODIES, MINDS, AND FLESH. MAYBE PF HAS A DUPE OR TWO LEFT--BYUT I KNOW THAT YOU WILL ATTEMPT TO USE HER TO GET TO ME AGAIN, AND GUESS WHAT MOTHER FUCKERS, IT WONT HAPPEN AGAIN. ENJJOY THE FIVE FUCKING DOLLARS. IT DONT MEAN SHIT, AND THE DNC IS NOT GETTING ANOTHER DIME OUT OF ME....

duped again

duped again---u know just figured the fuck out that once again, mother fucking goddamned assholes duped me, or actually duped PF, who then psychicially nudged me to contribute to democrat party. LET ME MAKE IT CLEAR MOTHERFUCKERS. I WILL NOT VOTE FOR BARRY OBAMAM , NANCI ELOSOI, OR JOHN KERRY,K NOT EVEN IF GODDMNED JEB BUSH IS THE FUCKING ALTERNATIVE. NO, NO MORE FUCKING EVIL PEIECES OF GODDAMNED SHIT PAWNS OF THE FUCKING BILDERBERGERS. I TRIED TO CONTRIBUT TO HILLARY CLINTON, BUT IT WOULDNT PROCESS. NO MIORE FUCKING EVIL, AND AFTER TODAY, I THINK YOU PULLED YOUR LAST FUC KING DUPE ON PF TOO. GOOD FUCKING LUCK YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES CUZ WYOU WONT GET FUCK OUT OF ME--MYUCH LESS ANOTHER GODDAMNED DIMNE FOR DNC, AND MOST FUCKING CERNTATIN LAY NOT MY FUCKING VOTE--AND SONS OF BITCHES IF YFOU TRY TO VOTE YUNDER MY NAME IN REPUBLICAN PRIKMARY, I WILL GO TO THE BIGGEST ASSHOLE ATTNY IN THE CITY AND GO AFGTER THAT POS CORRYUPETED COUNTY CLERK. FUCK YOU FYUCKING AL;L

24 hours without sleep

24 hours without sleep. fucking goddamned head is fucking rushing again. legs are cramping so bad form goddamned motherfucking estrogen that even with 3 fish oils, cant sleep. of course, the goddamned fish oil was tampered by the piecce of shit motherfuckers of faction 2. sick and fucking tired of palying fucking games withe these fucfkin g sons of bitches. i have been so fucking sick with their fu cking goddamned drugs for over three fucking days now, and now i cant fucking sleep. take your fuckiing goddamnedd shit you goddamned mother fuckers of faction 2 and shove it up your goddamnedc ass. I know your stupidass games, and gess what, it aint fucking gonna work. FUCK EVERY GODDAMNED PILL PUSHER, MIND CONTROLLER, AND TORTURER NAZI OF FACTION 2...AND FUCK YOUR GODDAMNED RISPERDOL AND YOUR FUCKING GODDAMNED DRUGS AND YOUR GODDMANED FUCKING FUCKED UP, MESS ED UP, TOTALLY ERRONEOUS, GODDAMHNED VISION OF ME. KEEP OUT OF MY FUCKING HEAED. MY BRAIN FREQUENCIES ARE NOT YOUR FRUCKING GBODDAMNEED PLEASURE OR YUSE. NOT NOW. NHOT FUCKING GODAMN ED EVER

Estrogen depression hitting me again

Estrogen depression hitting me again--I have spent all morning in tears, once again, wishing to commit suicide. I pop in 4 herbal testosterone tabs, and all of a sudden, I feel better. Not only do I feel better, but I think better. Just by re-reading my previous post, I can see how testosterone deprivation plays out in my writing. The last few posts have been really difficult for me to write. It is hard to concentrate, and I cannot hold a thought in my head for long, much less keep a mental thread throughout a lengthy post. The lack of paragraph breaks, though, is the fault of the blogger software upgrade, which I haven't yet figured out--GRRRRRR. The testosterone tabs also instantly cut my autism in more than half. I have been severely autistic the past couple or three of days--walking around with the brain tumor syndrome, unable to sit on my front porch and watch cars go by, or even watch TV--my brain just can't process the images. Since TV is the only diversion I have, I feel its loss. Still, four herbal T-tabs--and I need 20 X's that much of a testosterone boost--I am not exaggerating, made such an instant impact on my depressed, suicidal mood, and my autistic perception of reality, that I know, my brain is being severely starved of what it needs. I am willing to bet that if I were to get a man sized shot of testosterone, that the results would be amazing and immediate. PS--You know what? Testosterone enables me to eat and drink, too--I forced myself to eat a sausage and boiled egg, bite by bite this morning, but after four t-tabs, I can finally drink the apple cider vinegar i couldn't touch earlier, and am chowing down on a candy bar...and what is up with that? I don't eat candy bars, but now I crave them---probably craving sugar for energy. However, I think that powerful forces continue to deny, deny, deny what makes me happy, productive, and creative. How many people can create life? Did I pitch or did I catch? I am not a catcher--never have been and never will be, and when I have done it for the cause, it was a lie that filled me with disgust, and I have made it clear (and know that my wishes will be respected by those I trust) that I will not play the role of female again. Period. But I take responsibility for my decisions--I did what I had to do, to help save my family, my country, my world, at the time. But the time of selling out my manhood is ended. Unfortunately, some factions don't respect my self expression or self identity. That is okay. They are the same ones for whom I have a lack of regard. I suppose that the same ones who don't respect my conscious life keep hoping that they can trap me in the astral realm-maybe more drugs, maybe more estrogen, maybe castration of the penile stem tissue (which they did again!). They don't know me. They don't respect me. They don't care to. They just want to feed off my own frequency vibes, but I can only offer as a man, not a woman. I am a pitcher, not a catcher, and the depression that hits me when I am forced into the role of feminine and female should make the upcoming weeks very moody and interesting. It should also make for some pretty piss poor writing. Thankfully, the current event front is quiescent, because my brain is not able to watch TV and sift through levels of disinfo. However, I do have to admit that my brain seems to be moving a little faster than normal--not as fast as before the drugging, but still faster. I am not having to verbalize out all my thoughts to myself to self perceive and self grasp them. However, I also think this brain change (did they do something to my brain stem?) is what is making it difficult to eat. Food literally makes me sick, and that is when I can eat at all. I barely eat, but have to have a bowel movement two or three times a day (not much of one, admittedly). I am thinking that they have made my brain more autistic, and that my second brain, the neurotransmitters in the gut, are not able to pull off a "workaround" like my cerebral brain has trained itself to do, after years of autism. Oh well. I try to take things one step at a time. Right now, I have enough energy to do some chores, and I need to take advantage of that, before it goes away.

One in the morning

One in the morning, and upon awakening, I can't just lie there and doze in fanciful reverie, because I understand now that the MACHINE has put an implant in my head which will start playing images, until I lose control of my own consciousness and become fully plugged in. That is what happened yesterday morning, until I managed to snap it. It also does not help that I am so sick with pain and nausea. Part of it is caused by excessive estrogen (yes, I know very well, what waking up with a migraine and cramping legs mean), and part of it is caused by mechanical structural misalignments from all of the bodily mutilations, most recently to my shoulders and back. I am not meant to be a "Twiggy", yet that is what my body is morphing into, however painful and hateful. I've never cared for the "Twiggy" look at all, and let me tell you, that it is even more painful to carry it around on one's own frame, than it is to see it on a full grown woman, although for some reason the Nazis seem to like it--maybe it pleases their sadistic/masochistic aesthetic. However, my status is not going to change anytime soon. I am able to eat less and less, because the latest genetic flip made my stomach so autistic (all the neurotransmitters are there), that the viral-infested food, which is the only kind I can buy in this VR hell hole, all makes me sick to the point of the food being inedible. As if all of this were not enough, I figured out who is the "second man" struggling within me. It is the third integral member of my immediate genetic experiment triad--a hybrid grey male triplet. As I have written before, the third in a genetic experiment triad is meant to be a spoiler, a "third", an "odd man out". I have identified the Apostle Paul, a grey hybrid, as part of a genetic triad, and I have identified another grey hybrid in my past life. I will go ahead and identify him here. Even though I don't know his real name, the world knows him as John Coffey, the fictional character in the movie, "The Green Mile". Now, I am not a Stephen King fan, so I don't know how much tied into the occult he is, but given the nature of his books, I would say that there is at least some connection, even if it is not explicit. However, I have been told, by someone who does their homework, that there is documented evidence that he was a real man, and that was an intuitive hit when I heard it. John Coffey was the Black mystic who was executed in the film, and while he was an innocent soul, he was helpless to navigate well in reality, for the MACHINE and the genetic experiment had effectively fragmented the personalities of the Triad into mind, personality/emotions, and soul, but none of them (I was Charles Lindbergh--all brain), were able to function holistically as strong individuals, so all three ended up being used by the MACHINE-RA, the Grey/Tall White occult agenda, and the purpose of evil. Yes, even innocent people can be used. You see, according to the film, (which is the only history we have), John Coffey, the innocent with a superabundance of "soul" or "etheric energy", was executed in 1932, the exact same year that Baby Lindbergh was murdered--an innocent baby being the prime source of pure etheric energy. In other words, Coffey was a executed as a sacrifice used to bring about the success of Vosk's fledgling Nazi plans. In the case of the Apostle Paul, he was put on "stand by", until he was needed to contain the downloaded consciousness of the crucified Jesus. Because he was a genetic match, with hybrid genetic modification, he was able to capture a lot of Jesus' essence, but with his own immature and warped personality, tweaking the message in many of the essentials. Still, I think that Paul was able to mature into a truly spiritual man, and given his deprived background, he truly reached the heights of sanctity. For the third, the grey hybrid of a genetic experiment is not allowed by the occult, to develop their own sense of personality, their own sense of self-will, until the time of their choosing. Usually, that time is when they want to transfer over the consciousness of a primary to the third, because the primary is either dead (often at the hands of the occult), or not able to participate in the occult's agenda for whatever reason. So, when Jesus decided that he was not longer going to cooperate with MACHINE-RA's plans--and remember he was an integral part of the MACHINE-RA community for much of his life, and that it would be better to die on principle, well that suited the MACHINE just fine. Paul, who was then Saul, a rejected member of the Jewish community, because I believe that he was intersexed with a micropenis, was ready to download the consciousness of Jesus. Now, the MACHINE cannot transfer love or "soul", but it can transfer the knowledge acquired by someone who loves or has soul, and that is how Paul got his first real start in the spiritual life, though he developed quite his own formidable personality once that happened. So, that is the purpose of the "Third" of a genetic experiment, and I have a "third", too. As a matter of fact, I have seen him. He was deliberately placed next to me, with a gravely disabled mother and child in a hospital waiting room. I have even seen one of his brothers, since apparently this occult experiment goes back to the 1920's or 30's or even earlier, for I have learned that my Scottish/Ulster great grandfather was an occultist of some note and prominence. This grey hybrid was born into the family of my Dad's best childhood friend! Anyway, when I realized that it was this "third" within me who was fighting and competing within me to prevent ascension into the astral realm, I struck up a little bit of a conversation with him. He agreed to be called "Tad" (from another genetic experiment lifetime?), but I modified that to "Chad", which is a little easier on my phonetics, and reminds me of the "hanging chads" from the 2000 election--votes that don't count. For he was born as, and is a Grey hybrid slave, and his self-expression, and his self-worth, and his self-understanding, don't mean shit to his handlers. He was created purely to be used at his occult master's behest, and he was reared in an environment which ensures that. I don't know if he is in a much stronger VR prison, or if he is in some off-planet colony where the Grey hybrids are, but I know that the Grey hybrids are treated terribly. I remember talking to PF over a year ago--when she was still an occasional inner voice, and she was telling me that as much as I have suffered at the hands of these occultists, I cannot imagine the hellish suffering that they have inflicted upon others. At the time, I thought of the humans at Dulce, and the experiments done there (six legged and bat winged humans born of monstrous experiments, and/or driven insane), and decided that was a dark place that I would rather not think on. However, I think these grey Hybrids (and that just means a baby produced from a human genome, tampered and adulterated with genes from the sterile race of the Greys) have it worse than even human Hybrids. Remember, I have two Hybrid children, and I went to a lot of trouble to save them, and I know of their pain, loneliness and longing desire to be part of the human family. I suspect that they are reared on Mars, but separate from human hybrids. Human hybrids are treated as slaves--just look at the physical abuse and sexual slavery in life story of PF or the experiences of my own hybrid children, yet the Grey hybrids are treated even worse than that. Because of the inserted Grey genes, I expect that they are very autistic, yet because they are human too, they have to have the desire and need for social life and companionship, so like me, as a youngster, they must feel very lonely and rejected. Then, on top of that, I don't think that the ones raised "on-colony", rather than with a human family, have even their barest of emotional needs met. When I saw Chad in the hospital room, I recognized someone who had never known love in his life, and thus was incapable of giving it. Of course, the entire set up, was just another psych op, done by the Nazi control handlers, but at the time, I still bit on those, and so responded as if I were a free man, not a rat in a VR cage, monitored by Tall Whites. So, I responded warmly to the mother taking care of her sick child, who suffered from a rare genetic disability, which meant that she would never lead a human life. I cannot remember what it is now, but the life expectancy is low, and the only thing that can be done is to assist with quality of life. The girl was to have an operation to stop her chronic UT infections, and as I was leaving, I wished the mother well (the girl herself could not communicate). Chad attempted to follow my lead, but because he had no love, his attempts at solicitous concern came across as "creepy". Now an intuitive sophisticate like myself would have recognized his best intention--that he was trying to reach out in an act of love, but fell a little off, because he didn't hadn't had enough experience of being loved himself, but the mother politely just shut him out. This is very disheartening and demoralizing to someone. I know, because I have been there. For years, literally years, I attempted to reach out to other people in friendship or social amity, and, because I was autistic, and had such occult trauma in my background, I always came across as a "little off", and was rejected. Still, I kept trying, until grace gave me a huge boost, but it still happens. So I fully understand the pain of the Greys and Chad. The following day, I started piecing together some clues, and I realized that the girl had been "healed miraculously" somehow. She had been waiting for a doctor to check her urinary tract, to make sure she would be ready to be prepped for the surgery that would physically relocate it, so that it didn't cause infection. I think when the physician went to check it, he/she found the UT already moved, "miraculously" into the optimum place for which the surgery was indicated. Can't be sure, but the REAL ER doctor who came to see me that morning was awfully deferential and friendly, and something definitely happened. So, after learning of Paul, I realized that Chad is MY Paul--he has led a truly miserable, wretched life, whose only enjoyment and purpose is to follow his master's command and ruin my life and mission, so that he can come into his own. I talked to him briefly yesterday, and he told me that he is punished if he does not follow his masters' commands. I believe it. So, it is he causing a lot of mischief in my astral travels, breaking dreamcatchers woven with with love, and the like. If he were not my brother, I would say that he is an evil spirit, but he shares one of my Y genes, and I have met him, and he is not so much an evil being, as hopelessly enslaved by evil. If he were truly evil, he would not have attempted to show love to that woman and child in the hospital. Chad wants to love, but he doesn't know how. Real evil is powerful--not miserably and wretchedly enslaved in circumstances that one cannot control. Another truth that I now know is that, like Paul, Chad waits in the wings, waiting for my demise, so that he can receive the consciousness download that he hopes will liberate and free him. It does not matter to him if I physically die, or I just become totally plugged into the MACHINE, and lose all sense of conscious self. It is not malice on his part. He has been raised to believe that is his mission and his destiny, and he longs for his liberation with the same ardor that I do. I never thought of my liberation in terms of zero/sum or win/lose, but that is the diabolical, evil mind of genetic manipulators at work. They planned this strife between us, from the very beginning. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be surprised if the competition between us began in the womb--two "Y"'s, two separate male genetic codes and potential consciousnesses vying for dominance, and both losing. He appears to have a male body type, but no manhood; I have manhood, but feel terribly the lack of my male body. This entire scenario actually has much wider implications. On a cosmic level, it is important that my two "Y"'s learn to cooperate and coexist rather than fight for dominance. Now, while it is important, at critical stages in development, that the Y chromosome separates from the ubiquitous "X", in order for the man to live out the fullness of his own true self and destiny, in patriarchal society, this separation, this struggle for dominance, has gone from being an essential part of immature (both fetal, and in some cases of remedial necessity, adolescent) formation, to being a life long preoccupation of gender bias and division. And guess what people? When did patriarchy begin? Why, with the invasion of the reptiles, and their subsequent genetic manipulation of human beings!! The XY chromosome couplet can live in peace, harmony, and fruitfulness, and indeed that is the way that the universe designed us. Men are never purely males--roughly half of their blueprint is female, and when they deny, denigrate, subjugate, or control the female in the outer world, they are only throttling the fullness of their own humanity, but again, that is the way the reptiles want it! So, how did the reptiles manage to set this essential cornerstone of occult manipulation? First of all, they dis-empowered man and woman of their personal sovereignty as an individual. They turned them into penurious, powerless minions of the state, under the subjugation "kings" and monarchs, who were nothing but the genetic hybrids of the reptiles themselves, and kept under the strictest and tightest mind control possible. It isn't African Blacks who have been victimized as slaves--IT IS THE ENTIRE WORLD. It is just that the Matrix uses hierarchy to provide an illusion that someone is always "more" or "less" than I am, BUT WE ARE ALL SLAVES. Yes, some of us have suffered slavery more heinously than others, but as long as we keep fighting each other, instead of working together, slavery will be all of humanity's birth curse. Then, through rape and lust, they perverted the sexual order. When the reptiles and the Tall Whites (Nephilim) invaded and raped the females, they not only scarred the the women, but left agonizing psychic wounds of dis-empowered insecurity in the men. As sexuality went from being a great gift of joy and celebration of love, spirit, and life to an a bodily/hormonal need linked to aggression in males and procreation in females, lust took hold in the former, and alienation from their own body in the latter. Again, the male code or "Y" gene in the man turned a brief stage of development into a life long need for dominance. And it doesn't end there. This over-inflamed encouragement of males as dominating and competitive is what causes so much instability in the world. The natural "Y" code impetus to break away and separate has been artificially inflamed to insist on a dominance that can only feel good about himself, when he feels superior to the person next to him. The "Y"'s (males) of the world desperately need to learn how to co-exist and co-operate with each other, AS well as with the feminine or X's. If Chad and I can work this out, maybe it can impact matters on a cosmic level. For I am not the first XYY male, nor was Charles Lindbergh, nor Jesus. My guess is that this particular genetic construct has been used ever since the reptiles began manipulating humanity's genes. It is a way of ensuring constant interior strife and struggle, among the great "genetic souls" of humanity. I will go so far as to say that it goes back to Jacob and Esau, who as Scripture tells us, "contended even in the womb". Now, there is no way that I can prove it, but I would not be surprised if Esau was a genetic hybrid of some kind (remember he was very hairy--and the human father of this grey hybrid family that I know was extremely hairy), and while Jacob was blessed--courtesy of the MACHINE--read the story of Jacob's ladder, Esau went on to become the founder of the Edomites or contemporary Arabs. Now, I had an interesting dream last night myself, with all of this thinking about fighting my male twin in the womb. I dreamed that I (as a Christian) was present at some kind of joyous religious festival, and all these Jewish patriarchs were doing some kind of religious circle dance, and Muslims were involved as well. As a matter of fact, one of the Jewish patriarchs said, "We must respect the tent of Mohammad", and indeed, there was a glistening tent, labelled "Mohammad" off to the side. What can I say? My spirituality is not really of the "feel-good" vibe, but rather that of the pragmatist, "do the right thing" vibe, but in this dream, I felt the most ecumenical "feel good" vibe I have ever felt, and I have been to more than a few ecumenical services in my day. I think I had that dream, because the same issue I am contending with--an unnatural strife, brought about by reptilian intervention of genetic manipulation, is responsible for the hatreds of the Middle East. I am the "blessed" one, but the reptiles created an equally gifted counterpart, and then denied him the means to fulfill his own blessing. I think the same is true, however symbolically of Jacob and Esau, and that is what is playing out now between the Jews and the Arabs. But the dream I had was real, and as much interference as I am getting from the MACHINE, I have to vet everything, so I know it was real. (By the way, am I channelling stupidass shit again? Haven't we been through this before with Therese of Liseux? When are all the damned babies of the world going to realize that the MACHINE has every religious sage, prophet and saint on file, and can download at will. What is unique is my SPIRIT, but if my words are robbed of me, and others placed in my mouth, because my spirit is not free, then they become less, and perhaps even blasphemously so). Anyway, I know this dream was real, because the occult hates the Jews, and Faction 2 has overwhelming preference for Muslims, so there is no way that the MACHINE would download a "feel good" dream of amity between Christians, Jews, and Muslims in my head. The other reason I know it is true, is because I had a dream prior to that, which absolutely rang true. In the first dream, I was shown the basement of my house, and it was a true palace! I was mesmerized, walking around, turning on gold faucets, opening door and door, wondering how huge this place really was. However, riches never really have impressed me, so I said, " okay, I get it. I want to go home now." So, I went to find the staircase leading me back to my house, and it was gone! Then I heard someone walking in my house up above me, and I panicked--someone is trying to break into my house and pretend to be me, while I am all distracted by riches down here. So, I found a riveted wall ladder, that was designed for a tall maintenance man, not a crippled, mutilated five foot tall Twiggy, but I was determined to get back to my house, and with every ounce of strength that I had, I pulled myself back up, and felt such joy and relief. Again, I think that dream speaks to my situation. There are beings and factions trying to steal my true personhood, my consciousness, my house, by drowning me in an unconsciousness that will destroy my true spiritual giftedness. The second dream tells the true gift that I have to offer, if I can make peace with Chad--a resolution to the enmity between MEN (nations), and particularly, Jews and Arabs, which is a direct result of the same genetic manipulation I have suffered from myself.

Friday, March 30, 2012

I AM A MAN, THAT IS WHAT I AM, GODDAMMIT IT!

I AM A MAN, THAT IS WHAT I AM, GODDAMMIT IT! I could shout that out ten million times, God knows that I have written it enough, but the goddamned evil occult factions and their minions that run this planet (and they are the majority, not the minority), just don't get the message, and keep doing everything possible to force being female down my throat. Why? Is it because of some great love for the feminine, some desire to see a feminine leader rise up to lead the masses of downtrodden females, reduced to near slave status, back to a full sense of personhood? NO!!! The entire point and purpose of forcing this feminine body on me through torture and mutilation, and attempting to force a feminine self identity, through massive amounts of hormones (which never works, because it only makes me so ill that I become barely functional), is to keep not only the feminine enslaved, but also the masculine; indeed the entire planet. In short, the entities and individuals responsible for the never ending mutilations, drugs, and torture, forced upon me, just want to maintain the same old status quo--with just a few tweaks, of course. So it was that yesterday, after yet another encounter with the enemy AND success, gaining codes and frequencies, that I finally hoped that one of the dozen or so factions with technological access to interdimensional portals would help me with the boost I need BECAUSE MY OWN BODY WAS DELIBERATELY CRIPPLED BY OTHER OCCULT FACTIONS TO ENSURE THAT I NEVER ASCEND ON MY OWN. However, it was more of the same game playing, BUT NOT UNTIL they got their hands on some of my personal brain frequencies recordings. Now, why the occultists and aliens covet those is a huge revelation in and of itself, but wait, dear reader, you will learn why, very soon--maybe as soon as I finish venting in this post. Let us just say those frequencies recordings have proved themselves to be worth a lot of money--millions in fact, and ransom for the life of my child. However, that was never really an option, and I deduced from the web that what they really wanted, was a female psychic to hold the Earth's wounded and conflicted energies, together. Now, this sounds like a laudable vocation, does it not? It IS a laudable vocation, for someone who is CALLED to it, and GIFTED to feel fulfilled by such a sacrifice. And, "That ain't me babe, no, no, no, it ain't me, babe". First of all, let me say, such a vocation requires a very and utter feminine personality--someone who is basically tied as a purely receptive medium, to the frequencies of the planet and MACHINE, with the self-sacrificing, loving energies of a mother to a very young child. Ask any mother how they feel after giving total attention to a toddler all day long, and you will realize that such a person is indeed a rarity, but they do exist, as a small cadre now, in "shifts", with duties interspersed with other activities and human encounters to prevent total brain fry. So, from the very beginning, let me emphatically insist that I am not such a feminine personality. Yes, I can be very receptive, and child like when I am force fed major hormones, but I wake up either sick or enraged, for such a state is not that of my self identity or personality--it is that of a toddler child, who because of his autism, literally had his brain still in the womb environment. It is WRONG to force someone to live out their brain in a fetal state, in order to be used. In effect, I would be harvested for the stem cells of my brain. FUCK THAT, GODDAMNED IT! You know, I worked really hard for many years to develop an acceptably feminine personality and characteristics, and given that I was treated like a female (an inferior being with no say so in my own self-identity), it is not surprising that I finally succeeded in some small measure, but make no mistake, what the occult is really after is not a feminine woman. Hell, they couldn't handle a woman like me!! I'd be Jane Fonda, Hillary Clinton, and Beatrix Kiddo all rolled into one! How would you like me to caress your balls, 'daddy'? (Oh, and by the way, all three of those ladies are great heroines of mine. Like all great heroes, they make mistakes, but their greatness of personal achievement and resolve supersedes the mistakes). No, what the occult really wants is the three year old autistic boy, who was ritually and literally fucked by both his mother and father, prior to having his hands placed on the occult crystal skull. You think such an experience wouldn't make someone highly receptive as a medium? Sure, it would, but I am NOT the autistic four year old boy that I was for a brief moment in time. I learned to read and think, and at age 13 or so, got a huge boost of testosterone which enabled me to function in the world. I developed a sense of self and became an individual, with a unique, if different and often misunderstood personality, which provided not only great and salubrious joy and benefit to myself, but to many others with whom I came into contact. I was able to hold on to my self-identity, even for the first few years of drugging, abuse, incarceration, and torture. Even now, consciously, my interior sense of self as a male is strong; what has changed is my once comfortable self-accommodation with inhabiting a female body. It used to be a strong, proud, muscular body, but now it is just an object for nightly mutilation, rape and abuse. Now it no longer belongs to my masculine self, but rather is in the hands of the occult males, who abuse it as a weapon to force me to accept THEIR self-determination of my own identity. Well, it ain't gonna happen. Homey don't play that shit. You can fucking torture me all you want, and you had a lot of fun doing it last night, when I ended up vomiting from the pain caused by the Amon RA spider band around my head, but you won't win. Like all victims of severe torture, you CAN break me; I will cooperate BRIEFLY, but sooner or later, until I die, the need to re-assert my soul, my spirit, my God-given sense of self and dignity, will get the energy to lift up again, and every step of the way, I will clamor for justice--not only for me, but for all. I know who was responsible for torturing me last night. I know both the alien neighbor who was involved. (the same one who, while acting as my "protector" in the astral realm "accidentally" nearly strangled me in an elevator--real "manhood" in these aliens, let me tell you), and the faction of the occult that is involved. As I wrote in a recent post, I think that I am in the prototype of a "new", Faction 2 "matrix" (which everyone should know by now is code for virtual reality prison). In short, if the occultists have their way, there will be an entire new "matrix". BIG HEADS UP: FROM WHAT I HAVE SEEN OF IT, IT SUCKS BIG TIME! If you don't want to take my word for it, remember who the programmers are--the same Faction 2 which brought the misery of WWII and the escape of Vosk the time traveller, to this Earth. Anyway, their proposed matrix programming has huge holes in it--that is why they want to sacrifice me as a "alter crystal skull" to help hold all their shit programming together. FUCK YOU, MOTHERFUCKERS!!!! There is actually a scene from the second, "The Prisoner" TV series that describes exactly what is happening. "The Prisoner" is another example of a Matrix prototype. I like the first one better, because I identity with the protagonist more, and he was real mensch too (I read an interview of him--a bygone legacy from the days when acting was still a profession of character, and not dunking for occult apples). However, it is the second series that has the image I am looking for. There is some woman, who acts as a medium, but has to be artificially kept asleep. Apparently, the Matrix programming only works if she psychically holds everything together in her sleep. For the brief period she awakens, literal, physical holes start engulfing the virtual reality. Well, I was so drugged this morning, I could not wake up, but I feel as though, the drugging was artificial, and Faction 2 was trying to imprison me to the MACHINE, so their fucking, piece of shit, slave prison VR could hold. You know, there is NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING that could compel me to cooperate with this infernal occult, looking to extend the Matrix slave hold over humanity for God knows how long. I despise Faction 2 as much as I despise Faction 1. Both of these occult factions are evil, corrupt, rotten to the core, and I really believe that the future holds a genuine change from all this occult shit. On a day like today, after a night of suffering and torture, like last night, I just don't know if I will live to see it, although I can guarantee that I will not sell it out. Suffering is not the answer. You know, while I was in my drug reverie, this morning, I got hit with a personal insight--one of my "pings". I heard the words, "two men cannot live in one body". Now, the more I think on that, the more I think that is my problem. You see, my chromosome type is XYY. I have an extra Y chromosome, which happens occasionally in the male population, but I would guess is extremely rare in those who present with an intersexed, female body type. Now the extra Y chromosome in males is not really an indicator of any disability except ADD and ADHD (and boy, do I got that). It also is documented to be relevant to higher levels of aggressiveness, and purportedly disproportionately high in prison population (aaah, i see--this is why I can't escape my VR prison--it is that damned extra y chromosome :). Actually however, I think the extra Y chromosome DOES play a role, but a more psychological role. Now, I always hate it when people start basing gender differences on biology, because any kind of classification and/or typing always will do injustice to the beauty and richness of the individuated human person. However, I do think that there is some validity to using it as a baseline, and so, let me touch briefly on how I see the chromosomal differences playing out in males and females. Females are XX, and males are XY, and of course, the intersexed conditions throw all kinds of variations in the mix. However, as I look at the basic types, I perceive that females have an innate harmoniousness and sense of cooperation in their bodily blueprint, that I think plays out in the larger world. However, the males do not. They have a clashing or conflicting blueprint, and the "Y" or male code has to differentiate, or at some point in their development, even "compete" with that X or female code, in order to develop into a healthy being. I for one, failed miserably at that in the womb, which is why I was born disabled with autism, and suffer so much now. However, my inner voice did not tell me that my problem was my fetal failure to execute the Y code; no, my problem is that two men are living inside of me. I think that refers back to the double Y chromosomes. Since it is in the nature of the Y code to compete, to strive for dominance, and especially when the male is struggling to assert its God-given identity, against an overpowering pull back into the feminine, it would make sense that I am experiencing a monumental clash between two male identities in my inner psyche. Now, I have known this for some time. This is why I keep telling myself, that I "need to embrace my inner shadow", which is a Jungian term, meaning you accept the part of yourself that you project onto others. This projection of our "shadow" is done by everyone, but it tends to play out along racial or gender (or conceivably in the near future), perhaps "species" divides. As a White person, my shadow will image itself in my unconscious as "Black". There are several reasons why I intuitively know that I need to develop a "residual body image" of a Black man, and one of those reasons is that I need to embrace my shadow. However, the other Y "consciousness" or "psuedo-consciousness" is not going down without a fight. These two Y's are competing with each other, and so what happens, when they compete, instead of cooperate? Why, the X wins, I devolve into a helpless, dependent female state (I can never be a healthy and strong feminine personality) and I am even more miserable and hopeless, until the Y's have had enough, make peace long enough to break free, until they start competing again). Now, how exactly I would personify these "Y" personalities I do not know--self and shadow, ego and superego (in my teens, one of my Y's was definitely my interior father--now he just yells at me on occasion, "quit listening to 'nigger' music", Vosk and Charles Lindbergh ( I am sure the latter despised the former), or maybe Osiris and Jesus--my two strongest incarnations. They took two separate ways--Osiris the warrior, and Jesus the peacemaker who attempted to definitively change reality through suffering and sacrifice. Jesus couldn't have known what I know now--that suffering and sacrifice, while laudable, only makes the occult's power even greater. So, who are these two men fighting inside of me, and responsible for constantly flipping me over into the X camp? I don't know, but I will be thinking on it.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

I am trying to write

I am trying to write--however the last post was abbreviated by brain's complete inability to concentrate. still can't, but going to try. Merovingian occult of faction 2 have really fucked me over in brain, nervous system and energy. beating me up in astral realm. why? because I have got key to open codes that they want. I WWONT GIVE THEM SHIT. however, i can't escape them. working off bad karma. you bet. i am thinking that i am working off the bad karma still of Jesus. he must have felt sick beyond belief when he finally realized how duped he had been by the MACHINE. i think a lot of his miracles, though not all, were through the MACHINE. furthermore, i think he was given the opportunity to escape, not to the astral realm, but to a far away location in 3D world. with Mary. though i dont know if he had any children. however, i think his own sense of guilt propelled him to stay and endure a torture to try to expiate a guilt, that he as a sensitive, spiritual man would have felt over his deception, and what he would have perceived as failure.

now, i know that Christians say suffering is redemptive, and that is true, but there are a lot better ways at effecting redemption than thru suffering and death. as a matter of fact, the occult reptiles/dragons of both faction 1 and faction 2 thrive and feed off suffering. even when i was a christian, i couldnt understand why so many people were hung up on the passion. I paid homage to the passion during holy week, and the rest of my christian life, i focussed on the teachings of Jesus. Jesus taught for three years. the passion was three days. people, like mel gibson, who get all caught up in the suffering of the crucifixion are really sick--and that includes a lot of Christians.

Had Jesus taken off, to wherever a loyalist band (Mary Magdalen and disciples NOT named in the bible) wanted him to go, he could have left a more true legacy, expiating his guilt of being deceived, by proclaiming the truth. by his premature death, the MACHINE and its religionist mind control devotees were able to hijack his teachings. i haven't spoken much about it, but I think Paul was a huge contributor to that mind control setting. i have recognized paul as the third leg of the triad, which the MACHINE and its genetic manipulators use to control great souls and history. he was a grey hybrid, who probably never knew a day of real love and acceptance. i can say that because i have seen the grey hybrid that is waiting to pick up the pieces and destroy my vision of reality, should the MACHINE succeed in destroying me. i think after Jesus' death, the MACHINE was able to download a lot of Jesus' teachings and essence (but not all--you can download knowledge, but not love) into Paul, and while this had a powerfully transformative effective on Paul, he never loved as Jesus did. his own personal guilt and the negative attitude he had towards women and sexuality, were an integral part of MACHINE-RA's plan for the new religiuos institution that IT had planned for the new millennia, and so that stayed. I dont know if it is Paul's karma that is causing me to masochistically allow punishment of myself by my torturers, or if it is Jesus, but I think it is Paul. in the end, it is paul who had the heavy negative effect on humanity through his warped understanding of Jesus' teachings. he never knew Jesus. he only knew what the MACHINE wanted him to know, and needless to say, that is an unreliable witness, and that is why the negative attitude towards the feminine and sexuality prevails, and that is why i keep looking to expiate that misogynistic guilt by astrally insisting i am female. enough of the suffering. enough of the guilt. enough of the expiation. enough of Paul. i am tired of carrying his karma around. iwant to be me--A BLACK MAN.

somehow, i have to break free, yet i am so sick that i can barely move. too sick to watch tv, or evne sit on front porch--too autistic to llook at cars go by. nausea and sick stomach. i know that a huge mother oedipal complex is part of this. it goes back thru multiple incarnations, not only Jesus, but Alexander the Great, etc. i have identified about 12-12 past lives--all of them male, except two, and those two were intersexed.

most of the rest have been as a disempowered male, often castrated, gay or very deficient. the only really strong past life i have had is that of osiris--and when he was castrated, it not only took a great man, it disempowered all of humanity. that is why i have to get back to an emowered, Black male body. just dont know how i can do it when i am so sick, and struggling all alone. but I will, so help me, God. I will.

My anticipation was correct

My anticipation was correct--last night was a hell night, with pain and sickness, and barely able to move. I woke up this morning with the distasteful smooth skin that I hate so fricking much--it tells me that yes, once again, the Faction 2 boy posse got their juvenile hands on my body and brain, and blasted me with female hormones. So, even though I have no memory, I can only guess that once again, I presented myself as a female, which is no doubt why I wake up feeling so icky and full of self-loathing. Actually, SELF-loathing is not the correct word, because I KNOW that I AM NOT A FEMALE, AND I HATE, HATE, HATE THE WAY I FEEL WHEN I AM FORCE FED FEMALE HORMONES.

No, the correct word is that I loathe the suns of bitches who keep force feeding me their goddamned juvenile, immature fantasies, hormonal poison, and chemical castration on me. However, I recognize that this a trap, too, because, as long as I endure this constant torture at the hands of these Faction 2 boys, I go into a psychological "siege" mentality, and relate to the world and others from a stifled, paranoid position of distrust.

In a dream last night, I was approached by the musical group "Heart", who wanted me to amplify their music, and I had the speakers to do it, but I didn't trust them. "Heart" of course, is a solidly talented rock band from the 1980's, and of course, I've listened to, and thoroughly appreciated their music for years. However, because I have become so paranoid I didn't trust the band, so I missed the opportunity to help them amplify their music. When I woke up, I realized that, I, who was such a generous and forgiving "lover" in my younger days, have allowed my "heart", my innate ability to love and express love, to be completely stifled by the abuse of loveless parasites, first the reptiles, then the Nazis, and now the fantasies of psychological juveniles.

However, I do recognize that this is all karmic, and I am positive that this boy posse clinging on to their fantasies of the "Big Mommy Teat", are actually reincarnations of the disciples who once followed Jesus. Peter was the only one of substantial maturity, and as I said in an earlier post, I think he "was never, ever with him" ( a line sung by Peter in "Jesus Christ, Superstar", after his denouncement of Jesus). Rather, Peter was a recruit and plant by the Essene community which was completely devoted to MACHINE-RA. I suspect that the bulk of the hard core disciples were just a band of carefree, free-spirited youths, looking to evade the responsibility of a life of marriage, family, and underpaid, hard work. Some, notably Judas Iscariot, but perhaps others, were hard-core revolutionaries, looking to start a revolution (against Rome). Ultimately however, they were uncommitted and untried idealistic youths, and they got caught up in an immature, psychological inflation of their own egos with that of the movement, and their charismatic, gifted leader. Imagine their disappointment when it all went sour.

The disciples bought so much into the lies of the MACHINE, that they, themselves, could not break away to follow Jesus, when he himself broke through the lies of the MACHINE's illusions, if not the consequences. Jesus did his best to pull the disciples from their misguided fantasies about reality, his own self-identity, and mission, but he could not. I think it fair to say, that the failure of the disciples to mature into reality, was a contributing factor to Jesus' ultimate failure of mission, and crucifixion.

Jesus must have known that as he hung in excruciating agony from the Cross, and it is always the betrayal of friends that hurts worse than that of the enemy. Yet, according to Scripture, he prayed, "Father, forgive them; they know not what they do", before expiring. This is one scripture that I must take to heart. I AM hanging on the Cross now, and have been for years, with a body broken and mutilated beyond recognition, while parasites circle around me, hoping for the spiritual death, that will allow them to feed upon me, without constraint. My natural and healthy nervous and energetic system is so disrupted and weakened by the constant chemical and hormonal castrations that I am too feeble to co-operate with any vigor, in my own spiritual ascension.

There is only one chance I have of freeing myself from this Cross, and that is, I have to forgive the people who have put me here. Otherwise, I stay in the besieged mentality, which closes off the heart, and trusts no one. That is the only prayer I can make right now. However, I must insist, that like Jesus, I cannot and will not co-operate in the evil and immaturity which has led to my crucifixion. I am not looking to save a bunch of boys from their own mother complexes. I am looking to enter into my own robust and self-affirmed MANHOOD. In the meantime, more past life revelations are coming up--maybe I will write on them, later, if I can get past the physical pain that I am in.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

6:15 pm

6:15 pm, and getting ready to sleep for the nite. very drugged. have been in surrealistic dreamland all day. recognize that two days ago, i was flipped to yellow genetics by fucking faction 2. i hate the sallow look. tell myself not to stress--soon I will be Black or deep chocolate brown. however, fear that once again people got plans for me that are different than my own self view. i think some may have me pegged as a medium, barely fucntional or presnet to reality. yes, i am spyschic but i am only happy when i am engaged and active in world. unable to do that today. just passive, watching vids. interesting, but no fucking joy in assimilating info. just a drone. try to go for bike ride, but didnt have energy to even make it to the trail. further karma revelations, but too sick to write.

cant even eat. food all tastes horriible to me--like fish or fingernail polish remover. firts time in long time that i go to bed without e\ven eating lite supper.

Monday, March 26, 2012

I am being deliberately crippled

I am being deliberately crippled while in the astral realm. Apparently, I am helpless to stop it, as long as I am in my unconscious state. As soon as I become conscious however, matters change, as I recognize the extent of the violation and mutilation that I have experienced at the hands of my astral tormentors--right now the Faction 2 coalition, comprised of, at least, the four factions I listed in the previous post. Even in my physical, geographical location, I am surrounded on all sides by hostiles, though I can trust PF and some of her "family" (she was the de facto mother for many of the Mars hybrids, including my own genetic children), and the Salusa contingent.

However, knowing what is going on, does not help me stop it. Every conceivable part of my body was cut last night--I am being whittled down drastically. However, nothing addresses the real difficulty in my inability to "ascend" to the astral dimension. It goes back to my sacral area, and all of the surrounding muscle and ligature being excised from my body in order to make me "feminine". However, the goddamned Nazis cannot override Nature, and my entire body developed as a male, and is responsive as a male, and no amount of mutilation can force a change. Believe me, I WANT to ascend, and get out of this hellish virtual reality prison I am in, and so, as I have done so often in the last few years, I put my faith and hope in God to help me make it.

In the meantime, I continue to do what I can. Apparently last night, I helped destroy an evil entity which had taken residence in a sea monster. I continue to work at resolving bad karma. I never even finished my post on the Jesus/Mary/Paul triad, even though I recognize the boy posse of Faction 2 to correspond to the disciples of Jesus. Also, I know now that Peter was a double agent for the MACHINE from the beginning, and only came out of hiding to help subvert the movement. Thus, the entire basis for the office of the Pope is a complete fraud. This is why I have so many spiritually dead or immature Faction 2 and Vatican operatives against me--these people are resisting their own negative karma, by trying to force me to acquiesce to their's.

However, I am determined to break through to the truth of my negative karma, and seek resolution and absolution, and so, I am going to forgo any further discourse on my past life as Jesus, for now, and skip ahead to the 20th century. My most recent incarnation, barring some brief life existence, was that of Charles Lindbergh. He was part of a genetic experiment triad as well, and while I have identified his twin, and the "grey hybrid" spoiler, I will focus only on MY incarnation. I only mention the triad arrangement, because in this particular instant, the experiment worked the way it was designed--to fragment the life force of soul partners into a sterile, one-dimensional persona. Lindbergh's genetic twin carried the emotional life and personality; the grey hybrid carried all the soul, but was unable to relate to the world or understand his own existence; Lindbergh himself was all cerebral and cold reason.

Sadly, none of this triad was able to break free of the manipulative programming that imprisoned their full vitality and life force. For Charles Lindbergh, this meant that he remained a dour, humorless, and emotionally repressed man his entire life. I have never really liked Lindbergh. To my way of thinking, his accomplishments as an aviator could not overshadow his Nazi, racist sentiments--something I could recognize even as a very young girl. You see, I knew a little about Charles Lindbergh, because I really did like his wife!! I started reading Anne Morrow Lindbergh at about age 13, and while I now recognize that she was a one-dimensional, uber-feminine soul herself, she developed an authentic and deep spiritual life ("Gift from the Sea"), but Lindbergh never did. Because she was painfully "shy" and self-consciously aware of her inability to relate to the social world around her, I actually used her writings to help me in my own teenage struggles. I would now say that she is a stellar example of the patriarchal feminine, while someone like Pope John Paul II is a stellar example of the patriarchal masculine; however, as I have matured into a full, mature personality myself, I can no longer endorse the patriarchal conception of gender bias and division. It may have worked in centuries past, but even then it was responsible for so much of the imbalance (i.e., injustice) and dysfunction in the world, and Charles was victimized by it, even as he worked to uphold the status quo.

When individuals are sternly repressed, they are not capable of relating to the world as it is, but rather only through the small, warped prism of their shut-off, walled-in, imprisoned mind. I think part of Charles' problem may have been that he was reared in an occult family (I have never seen a photo of him smiling--he probably "disappeared" or died in the 1950's--photos after that are of a "double" or "clone"--maybe that is what caused Anne to mature so drastically...). However, that does not excuse his racism or Nazi sentiments. Still, his prejudice and poor political judgments are not the worst of what he did--Lindbergh actually co-operated with evil occult forces--another clue that he was reared in an occult family.

Because, I am trapped in a virtual reality alternative matrix, where I am constantly scrutinized by Faction 2 psychics (it is Faction 2 controlling this matrix), I am unable to access current information about Lindbergh. I checked Wiki, just a few moments ago, and the information in it had completely changed from just a few days ago, and instances of this are happening more and more. So, I am going to have to present my hypothesis, with very little factual data to back me up.

I believe that Charles Lindbergh was responsible for carrying forth an alien entity onto this planet, and specifically Nazi Germany. The name of his plane was "The Spirit of St. Louis". I submit that the "Spirit" referenced was not the "zeitgeist" of the 1920's town, but rather an individual and evil alien entity who traveled to this planet from an alternative timeline in the future. Once again, I believe that Star Trek (Enterprise) is telling us in story, what has really occurred, and in their fourth season opener, we learn that there has been a radical time traveler "Grey with red eyes" (reptile genes), which is threatening not only the current manifestation of temporal reality (1940's Earth), but ALL of history in ALL of time.

Now, it is common knowledge among the alternative (i.e., true) history crowd that the Nazis advanced as quickly as they did, because they had alien help, specifically from Greys. I submit that the alliance between these Greys, and not only the Nazis, but also Faction 2, were initiated by this "Spirit" of St. Louis. This "Spirit" (let us follow "Star Trek" and call him, "Vosk", was actually released into the world through the pyramids or Indian mounds of Cahokia, IL, right across the border. A while back (can't remember the exact date, I researched these mounds and realized that they still are active, just as so many other pyramids are, as documented by the beams of astral light emanating from them. Anyway, I think a lot of pyramids/mounds have ancient technology in them, and that occult members and devotees gravitated towards them. Because these mounds are earthen and relatively unsophisticated, I believe it was easy for their secrets to be accessed by the early occult settlers who would have known of the treasures to be found within. Somehow, probably by accidental experimentation on the part of these early occult settlers with the strange, advanced technology found inside the pyramid, they opened up a mini-stargate, and let the evil alien I call, "Vosk" through the portal to Earth.

Now, because Lindbergh was of an occult family, he would have known of this great secret of the Midwestern Masonic cults--as a matter of fact, it is possible that his father emigrated from Europe to partake of the phenomena. Now, for those of us who have read the first complete, (relatively) orthodox account of alien vistors to Earth--the Book of Enoch--the first question that comes to mind is, "what was the first thing this alien wanted to do on this planet? Because in "Enoch", the prophet talks of how the first act these visiting aliens took upon landing on Earth was to measure the circumference of the planet. Of course, he uses poetic, rather than scientific, language, but I have read and agreed with the interpretation given by others, that these aliens as described by Enoch, were actually detecting and measuring the ley lines and energy grids of the planet, for occult manipulation and control at another time. I submit that "Lindy" was chosen to be Vosk's pilot for this first great endeavor.

Now, of course, the airplane technology wasn't quite up to par, at the time, but Vosk with his knowledge and skills from hundreds of years in the future was able to get around that limitation easily. He just needed a mind-controlled occultist that he could trust to pilot the plane, and follow instructions. I suspect that Vosk went along for the ride, in one form or another.

Now the freemasons, the early progenitors of the US Navy Faction 2, were the occult guardians of this secret. Lindbergh flew around the world in 1927. However, I don't think the USA was Vosk's ideal for a platform from which to launch his alien agenda--to not only totally conquer and destroy or enslave the people of this planet, but also to radically alter timelines and histories throughout the entire galaxy. I suspect that he could leave the pyramid homebase in physical form for only brief periods, but he surely would have picked up that Americans, as a nation detest limits on their freedom and are highly individualistic. I think he already had a nation in mind--Germany. Vosk may have been physically confined to the pyramid, but he could astral travel the planet, and in the 1920's he would have encountered the occult group around a little, fringe party, led by a radical, wounded man name Adolph Hitler. This occult Party, Nazism, and their leader, met Vosk's needs exactly. I am going to presume on the intelligence of the reader to figure out why--just transfer what you know of the transmitted history of 1920's/early 30's Germany to the real story of what transpired.

I don't know how Vosk physically got to Germany, but somehow Lindbergh was involved. I would like to think that the decent man in him resisted, and I suspect he did, because in 1932, his beautiful, infant son was kidnapped and murdered by a German national. I suspect that he was told his wife was next, if he did not comply. Remember, this is a man with no access whatsoever to his own emotional life, except through that of his sweet, sensitive wife, and with the murder of his son, all resistance must have faded.

Again, paying attention to the timeline--Hitler, with his small, little band of black-shirted thugs, got the wherewithal, from nowhere, to become Chancellor of Germany in 1933. Oh yeah, people, there is definite power in the occult. It took Vosk less than a year to start fulfilling his promises to the Nazi Party. Lindbergh moved his family to Europe, and ruined his "golden" reputation with his Nazi proclivities. Nazi Germany would soon stun the world by its reversal of bad economic fortune, and its rapid militarization, but it would take decades, before persistent researchers of genius and imagination, like Dr. Joseph Farrell, would begin to reveal that this was all because of Nazi Germany's alliance with evil aliens.

Sadly, the story does not stop there. For the occult grouping that was responsible for the materialization of the time traveler, Vosk, on our planet, was still interested in allying and working with Vosk and his Grey civilization as well. This group are the "OG's" (original grand poobah's) of Faction 2, and by the 1930's, they were well ingratiated within the US Navy. Why the Navy? I can't say for sure, except that I suspect that Vosk would have had his reasons to target them--certainly has something to do with his "measurements" of Earth in 1927. You know, people blame Roosevelt and Washington DC for the lost transmission warning of the imminent possible attack on Pearl Harbor, but I bet it was a USN devotee of the occult and Vosk, who was actually responsible for the ignored missive. Fortunately, the war was won by boots on the ground. Unfortunately, it took the lives of 50 million combatants and civilians before it was over. That was perfectly fine from Vosk's POV--the more suffering and sacrifice, the stronger he grew, and by 1947, he was making substantial inroads into the once impregnable nation of freedom. Truman became President, with no credentials whatsoever, except that of being a 33rd degree Freemason, and from the state of MO--home to St. Louie. In 1947, a German-American engineer created the Great Arch of St. Louis, symbolically signifying the gateway of evil aliens onto this planet. In 1947, the National Security Act castrated the legitimate power of the American Congress, refusing them the right to investigate the newly formed security agencies, NSA, CIA, ect., giving them "carte blanc" to operate, as long as they could claim, "national security. This was to prove to be the biggest, most secretive Trojan Horse in history, as for over 50 years, these agencies have been directed and staffed by traitors--domestic, foreign, and alien--to this nation's well being and best interests. While I am at it, let me not to mention the overwhelming number of murders, tortures, and miseries, that they have caused across the entire planet. Yes, not all Americans have their head in the sand, and we know of the evil perpetuated in our country's name, and we care--we care deeply. It is just that so many of us have been deceived by the Trojan horse for so long, and have focused on fighting the ideological flames, instead of penetrating to the burning coal that is at the heart of this conflagration that would destroy us all, whether physically or spiritually.

We know what became of Lindy--he faded from public respect, and died in the 1950's (probably about the time, he acquired his "second" wife). But what became of Vosk? I don't think Vosk is any longer on Planet Earth. I think he left in late October or early November of 1943. I think the vehicle of his return home was the USS Eldridge of the famed Philadelphia experiment, which had an active-duty, German officer on loan assignment to the USN (in 1943!!), who was in command of the operation. Another interesting date in the timeline around then--in November of that year, the Battle of Berlin began--the wholesale attack on defenseless civilians by aerial bombing. Also in November, the Soviet Union initiated their famous counterattack at Stalingrad. Now, I have watched documentaries that tell of German generals being amazed, because of Hitler's refusal to make a tactical retreat from Stalingrad before the cruel winter really began. Was Hitler expecting Vosk to come to his support with some advanced technology? I think he was being used by Vosk, and didn't even know it. When Vosk realized that he had willing accomplices and dupes in the USN, he decided to skip out on the Nazis. I only reveal this history, because I hope that readers understand what a faithless, treacherous, unreliable partner and ally that Vosk and the Greys are. For just as Vosk played Hitler to get what he wanted (and I think revenge and the "Final Solution", and a catastrophic world war was a huge part of it), so now he and the Greys are playing the Faction 2 Navy. Wise up, people. This faction of aliens, and their partners, the Tall Whites, are completely corrupted, and nothing good can come of any alliance with them--no matter what their promises.

Anyhow, the important point is that Vosk did not vacate the planet, without allies. Yes, his departure marked the "beginning of the end" for Nazi Germany, but he already had allies lined up in the USN and in occult holders of high office, many of whom have more allegiance to their KaBal code than to the Constitution. Soon, a whole host and number of his fellow of his fellow hive brothers and sisters, arrived, to begin working in black operation projects. There are two kinds of Greys--the Tall Greys, and the more familiar, diminutive ones. I think the Tall Greys are the descendants of a alternative timeline in which the American Black psychic community, which, like other psychic factions, has encountered evil, double agent infiltration, has allowed themselves to become enslaved. This is why I have resisted so strongly th controlling and narrowly self-centered practices and attitudes of the Black psychic community. It is clear to me that they are setting themselves up for a big, huge dupe, from which, as Vosk's story would tell us, they do not recover.

However, nearly every single faction that I have encountered suffers from the same self-centered (actually the most descriptive word is "racist") and self-destructive behavior. I do not think this is accidental. Vosk has done his history. He learned that the reptiles were able to defeat the original humans of this solar system, by turning them against one another. As a matter of fact, I believe that his original ancestry may be that of Martian Black, sold out to the reptiles, which then interbred with them. I think Vosk has mastered the reptilian playbook exactly. I even think that he is in a self-serving alliance with them, as well as the Tall Whites. If my previous hypothesis about the Martian tribe of Judah selling out their fraternal tribe (s) is correct, it would explain the horrifyingly brutal extremes to which the Nazis took anti-Semitism. Rationally, the vendetta against the Jews does not make sense. As a matter of fact, it was a huge factor in Germany's downfall. But Vosk and his people are not rational; rather they are filled with an irrational hatred and rage, because of all their suffering at the hands of the reptiles. The key word is "irrational"--while the Jews may have been the scapegoated victims of Nazi Germany, any race or faction could be targeted at any time--so long as it gets the reptiles off Vosk's back.

That is what all of these factions are too mind-controlled to consider, and thus the world is in the mess that we are in. Vosk's successful infiltration of this planet, his patronage of the Nazis and instigation of WWII, and his ongoing alliance with significant elements within the US Navy, has resulted in a huge wrenching of the timeline, towards the negative. This has implications for not only us 3D Terrans, but for all future timelines of the galaxy. I think Faction 2 is now trying to create an alternative timeline in which the turn to darkness, and human enslavement to the reptiles is totally complete. I think that I may be in a prototype of this new Matrix. Of course, most people won't know. There will just be small differences to notice, such as a spot on my floor that should not be there, or the 1980's police cruisers on the street, or 1970's, or even earlier, aircraft flying overhead. The interesting thing is that some parts ARE contemporary--so I can only guess that I am living in a mosaic template of the new matrix. However, for sure, Faction 2 and the Nazis are high rollers in this "part of NWO Town". I try to stay upbeat, but after suffering a night like last night, it is hard. My only consolation is exposing the truth. As hurt as I am, I am determined to make my voice heard. I also am determined to undo any damage that I did, as Charles Lindbergh, when I unwittingly let loose an evilly psychopathic alien on the planet, which has led to untold misery and a possible future, which, right now, looks even worse.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Part II to previous post re: imminent biological attack

Part II to previous post re: imminent biological attack on US soil. Once again, I am having to split up my posts because I fear that the boy posse of the Faction 2 psychic juvenile corps might intercept them. They live 2 doors down away from me, and I have already experienced their electronic jamming equipment. Nasty, dirty boyz, let me tell you--it's no fun living anywhere near them. However, such is my personal karma--which I will delve into, once urgent matters are out of the way...

Anyway, why do I think the attack would be biological? Well, first of all, my intuition tells me so. Secondly, there is the Jim Dunnigan piece. Then there is the common sense awareness that Americans are tired of being "played" regarding Iran and their nuclear program. The American public was fooled into believing the Bush administration lies about WMD in Iraq, and I believe the longevity and myriad of attempts to lies re: the Iranian nuclear situation has the general American public wary of taking the bait once more. Of course, I know that Israel destroyed all of Iran's nuclear facilities, back in October, (I think--search for the "mysterious explosions" in autumn 2011), and that before then, Iran had had nuclear capability, probably for years. However, as I watch the news, trying to imagine myself as John Ignorant-Citizen Buck, I can definitely smell a rat from a mile away.

Yes indeed, the Naval War College boys in Monterey had to come up with something that had a little different of a twist. Besides, the weapons of mass destruction that was available to them was BIOLOGICAL, not nuclear. Now, ever since the TV series on NBC last year (I can't remember the name--the one with the Black president who nearly gets assassinated), I have had inner intuitive certitude that there is (are) an alien faction out there, that has BIOLOGICAL weapons of mass destruction. I cannot be sure, but I think they may self-identify as "the Broncos"--the various occult factions appropriate sports teams names, the better to speak in code amongst themselves.

Now, why would the "Broncos" want to do this? They are not like Faction 2, with their Tall White patrons of the hidden Nibiran planet, that wants to destroy the Earth, because that is their vision of history, and sick puppies that they are, their way of trying to control it. According to the TV series, this Sirian clique just wants to appropriate the planet Earth for themselves, getting rid of the "inferior species" (yep, that is us, you and me), in order to make room. However, there is a planet that can be used as a new home for the misplaced Sirian refugees. Unfortunately, I think it has been stolen by the KaBal, specifically the occult Bush family, and maybe Cheney is now there as well. However, I think their "squatting" there will be very short term, and humans and the smart and virtuous Sirians will be able to join together and get it back in the near future.

So maybe the "Broncos" have a "bad attitude" problem, or maybe a leadership problem. In the long run, it doesn't matter, because if they succeed in setting off that biological WMD, it will not only destroy millions of humans, but also undermine the umbrella of Sirians/aliens-human cooperation which has already accomplished so much. The various Sirian factions and families have a pristine, new planet waiting for them, if they could just put behind them, the hostilities and hurts of millenia and centuries past.

However, there is still yet ANOTHER, a fourth (USN Faction 2, Tall Whites/Cheney, the "Broncos") faction involved--the cult of Amon-RA. The saddest part of this particular chapter of KaBal is that I believe the Turkish leader, Erdogan, has been "flipped". He is in Korea now, shaking hands with the Barack Obama clone, and my reading of recent current events regarding him and Turkey is that he now is on the side of the KaBal. I have always had the greatest respect for Erdogan. He has been a Patriot, through thick and thin, even when the people of his country were deliberately targeted and victimized. It would have been so easy for him to acquiesce and join the KaBal, but instead he had massive sized manhood and heart, and stuck by the Good. Now, he is flipped, and given his history, I don't think that it was a failure of courage or virtue. I think that there is something literally physical going on with his brain--namely, that it has been invaded by the parasitical spiders of Amon-RA--which, speaking from personal experience, can drive even the strongest man crazy with pain and rage.

How did this happen? Through David Petraeus, for whom I have NO respect; he has just flipped too many times and too easily. He has the same flaw as Obama--his overweening and immature ambition makes him susceptible to being a pawn for the KaBal, though he has not engaged in the level of murderous and traitorous behavior as Obama. Let's hope he never has the opportunity. However, he surely has messed up Erdogan's life. Petraeus made an "unexpected visit" to Ankara on March 14th. A couple of days later, Erdogan cancelled a trip to Germany, which I believe was to have been a Patriot engagement--this cancellation was the first indicator of his "flip". Now, Petraeus has flipped before, but I see something new in photos of him, this time around. This page comes from the "Kurdpress" (which makes me wonder what kind of terrorist weapons the Kurds/PKK and the Iranian/MEK now possess--Amon-RA spiders?). Check out his hands:

http://www.kurdpress.com/En/NSite/FullStory/News/?Id=1129#Title=%0A%09%09%09%09%09%09%09%09Petraeus meets Erdogan in Ankara%0A%09%09%09%09%09%09%09

Petraues is being hormonally "pushed" by the Amon-RA clique of reptiles, and it shows in his hands. Another interesting photo that caught my eye while researching this is one of Obama:

http://www.cbc.ca/gfx/images/news/topstories/2012/03/24/hi-obama-seoul-852-6col.jpg

Actually, this photo is NOT of Obama, but rather one of his clones or doubles. However, whoever is responsible for presenting himself as Obama, has flipped. You see, the doubles or clones, are usually there, because the Patriots have the real Barry, incarcerated. The clones cooperate with the Patriot movement, and usually I can spot them a mile off, because they are so much more gifted and naturally friendly than the Barry himself. This one however, made me do a double-take. I can read the hatred on his face, from a mile away. Yet, I have verified that while he has the hate and contempt of Barry, this man is not Obama. So, whatever faction is responsible for presenting Obama's double, needs to be scrutinized as well.

Now, I need to take a break before writing anything else. I am in a lot of pain...the suffering and humiliation that I have to go through, to dredge this information up from the sewer minds and hearts of the pervs who are in on this shit, is more than you can imagine. But, God willing, I will start letting you in on some of it, shortly.

Urgent concerns before personal ones!!

Urgent concerns before personal ones!! The world, and most immediately, the USA, is in imminent danger again of terrorist attack and military response. I have a date going through my head--March 27th. Mr. Obama is in Korea right now finishing up the plans, on behalf of his newest political world patron, Dick Cheney. Now Cheney was supposed to be "contained", because he literally, is one of the most evil and powerfully dangerous man in the world. The fact that the MSM is reporting on his "heart transplant" indicates to me that somehow he broke Patriot containment, and has gotten a new burst of life. Remember, these ancient mudholes of evil, have no life force, except that which they parasitically derive from the sacrifice of others. The kind of sacrifice and technology we are talking about can only come about through high level KaBal activity, alien and/or human. I think more than one alien faction is behind this most recent diabolical scheme.

What is the scheme? In a nutshell, I think it is a false flag "terrorist attack" by biological weapons on a major US city (haven't figured that part out, but maybe in TX, where the other great titan of American evil, George HW Bush has all kinds of connections, and underground tunnels leading from Mexico, literally to underneath American county courhouses...). Then, of course, the United States will be forced to respond--and who will they blame? Iran. But, wait a minute, you will say, Iran is being set up for attack because of their nuclear program, not their biological warfare one. Read this, written YESTERDAY:

http://www.strategypage.com/htmw/htchem/articles/20060324.aspx

Now, if you investigate the author of this post and editor of this webpage, Jim Dunnigan, you will see that he is a complete Faction 2 shill, and has been his entire life, starting out at 18 years of age. According to his story, as a tender teen, he took a Greyhound bus ride from his home on the East Coast to California, so that he could voluntarily enlist in the Army with the most scenic, basic training location in the country--namely, Monterey Bay (LOL). What is really in Monterey Bay--why the education, research, and intelligence operations training home of the occult Faction 2 Navy--the Naval War College of Monterey. Although Dunnigan's service was ostensibly with the Army, after his discharge from his three year stint with the Army, at age 21 or 22, he was writing full blown computer games--all of his games are military, and the ones I saw, all Navy, beginning in 1964.
I will not go into all the details. Anyone who knows how to read and discern can check out his personal bio on his web page, and see unmistakable and multiple indicators that he has been a covert Navy Faction 2 operator and shill his entire life. Because of his story regarding his teenage enlistment, I do believe that he comes from a strong occult heritage, and that he was set up to be a mind controlled shill from a very early age. For all those beginners in detecting liars and Faction 2 operatives by reading through their own bogus bios, read this, and see how many clues you can pick up:

http://www.jimdunnigan.com/about.html

The indisputable evidence that Jim Dunnigan is Navy Faction 2, tells me that this entire operation is strategized and to be implemented, under the auspices of their quite considerable infrastructure and terrorist auxiliaries. However, I actually find evidence of MULTIPLE (at least three) factional cliques, so that can only mean, that as in the case of the Faction 2-instigated 9/11 attacks, the various cliques have joined together to pull off a major and stunning attack.

I was violated and mutilated again last night.

I was violated and mutilated again last night. It is funny, but I can always tell when I am raped, or I sell my own self out while dreaming. I just have to wake up, and spend a little time wondering what is wrong with me and why do I feel like fucking shit. Of course, today, the process was helped along by the pain I feel in my body where the GODDAMNED FUCKING PIGS OF FACTION 2 CUT ON MY BODY AGAIN.

I am getting better, though. After last night's mutilation at the hands of a factional clique--it does not matter if it is the liberal or the conservative wing, or whether they want me to be a "White Virgin Mary" insipid icon figure, or a soul enslaved" Black Isis" plugged into the MACHINE--I think I finally am beginning to understand why I suffer so much at the hands of these stunted pervs, and even haters, of the true feminine, humanity, and the Holy Spirit within all.

It is my own neurotic fear of my own sexuality and emotional life, and its possible loss, that sinks my soul into the depths of depression, and once that happens, and I go to sleep in that depressed state, that the KaBal demonic and their front line soldiers, are able to gain power over me in the unconscious state. That is when I become timid and fearful of owning and asserting my own self, with all the proud identity and free will of a sovereign human person, and become a helpless dependent child again. When I am a boy child in the astral realm, I am immature in my self-identity, but I am not afraid and rejecting of it. When I am a girl child in the astral realm, I have lost all sense of self-identity, and am just mirroring back what the powers that be want of me.

So, I have to become self-aware of what is causing this fear, recognize the mental state of anxiety and depression that it entails, and FIGHT it, whenever I am attacked by the temptation to succumb to it. I will have to do what I do when I feel my mind being tracked into the MACHINE-RA mono-groove--no matter how crazy or ridiculous, I engage in an entire spectrum of actions and behaviors, to prevent being consumed by it. However, the ultimate cure is recognizing and resolving the source of the fear--which I think goes back to my incarnation as Osiris.

I have been lazy the past few days--well, at least, intellectually. There has been a lot going on in my mind, but my emotional life has really opened up in the past week or so, and dealing with emotional matters, even if they are positive ones, always take so much energy from me. Then too, it has been spring, and every spring, my inner poet delights in just being present to the blossoming, warming world. It used to happen to me every spring in college. I was no slacker, but the first week of spring always found me outside, ignoring all my studies and books, while I just sat outside and did nothing but breathe praise to God for the glory of Creation. However, duty to the demands of reality would always rein me back, and so after a few days, I would return to my responsibilities and obligations.

So, it is now--joy and bliss has reined me back in from . I just made morning love to PF for the first time in several days (long story), and now I am fiercely charged and motivated to once more engage in the hard work necessary, so that I can enter the dimensional world from which I am consciously barred, but which is the primary residence of my wife and children.

When it comes to the world or my country being in danger, I can read and write with the greatest of urgency, spending all day or night at my keyboard, eating takeout, and ignoring all distractions. However, I really have to fight with myself, in order to write about my own self. Thoughts and words about myself, while abundant, and indeed, redundant, in my imagination, do not like to take written self-expression on the page. Yet, I know that whatever fear or negative karma is holding me back, has to be addressed and expressed, if I am ever to be free of them. So it is time to shake off the contemplative, springtime sloth, and get back to energetic and active contemplative work.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

I have not written in a few days

I have not written in a few days, because I have not been free to post my thoughts. You know, in the past, it never would have bothered me. I just would have said, "F-it", and rebelliously gone ahead and said what I wanted. However, things have changed now. I have children, both issue of my own bodily/spiritual free will, and those of my removed ova, and that strongly motivates me to stay here, and pass along something more to my children than my genes--like a father's love and solicitude. In the past, I have been too quick to embrace death or the possibility of death--it was a way to prove my freedom and independence from the world's ultimate control hold. However, this time I am not going that route. I still may die prematurely, but I am tired of just passively accepting the abuse and suffering that I have endured for the past several years. Yes, even as I write this, I am drugged on psychotropics--Depakote for sure, and maybe something else, which has completely disrupted my recently restored spiritual awareness and depths, a result of falling in love and a renewed sexual activity.

However, I know now that the only person who is going to be able to save myself is ME, and despite years of reluctance and foot dragging, it is time (and safe enough) to leave this 3D world, and enter the astral dimensions. Does that mean, I will physically and bodily die? Maybe, but I know that not only is there life after 3D death, I am quite convinced that astral life can be quite robust, creative and productive. It didn't have to be this way. I believe that I had quite the natural brain and spirit to become a dimensional traveler or chameleon, moving between the Terran and astral realms with ease. All I needed was a little space and time to reassure myself that I wasn't headed into occult evil. However, evil intervened, right here in the 3rd dimension, and slowly, but systematically, robbed me of my own natural, higher contemplative functions, and the healthy, high-energy, vibrantly alive body that would have allowed me easy access to higher dimensional travel, had my free will assented.

Well now, my free will assents (though it still is a little wary of where it is "safe"), but my health is completely wrecked, and with my body's natural (masculine), energy flow so disrupted by forced feminization (loss of muscle and flesh), and mutilation, I no longer have the ability to generate and focus the energy needed to lift consciousness from the body. The brain is in a little better shape, since I was born with a higher vibrational brain, which was reinforced, I think, by a satanic ritual in which my childish brain was exposed to the crystal skull--which is what is responsible for so much of my unconscious contents. However, my brain has suffered permanent neural damage as well, and as a result of psychotropic drug abuse and nano-technology mind control interference, it no longer moves with the speed and agility that it once did. Last night I was chopped up even further. I ask the reader to imagine what it would be like to have your arms/hands naturally clasp above your belly button. Think about how miserable such a curtailed range of motion would feel, and you will get some idea of how violated I feel after these mutilations.

Still, it is no use complaining about about the injustice of my body being controlled and violated while in the astral realm. I have been doing it for nearly two years now, and it has had no impact on the conscience of my tormentors, whatsoever. In their view my body belongs to them to do whatever the hell they want to, and what they want to do, is to parasitically latch on and feed their stunted, and even depraved spirits, from my own life force. The fact that I am in a female body delights them more--for the stunted and depraved masculine loves to torment and victimize the feminine.

My ill health is not going to get demonstrably better, for its primary cause, the refusal of my mind controllers to listen to my own reiterated symptoms and treatments, is still ongoing. Apparently, my kidneys are in really poor shape. I have been asking for years that my kidneys receive extended diagnostic analysis. I have been screaming for years about the smell of bleach and other chemical smells in my urine. I have been screaming on this blog for years about being autistic, and how my body cannot naturally excrete the heavy metal downloads that the virus initiates. Nobody has listened for years, and I know they don't give a damn now. I have already had six organ transplants done in the astral realm, utilizing high technology. I have thrown myself into this fight against evil, whole-heartedly, without reservation or concern for personal life or self, and my body has paid the price, and continues to do so.

However, my mind and spirit has grown stronger, and my faith tells me that I have a future--a positive future--not just as another mind controlled enslaved, victimized feminine icon to provide succor to all the poor, parasitical sobs, devitalized and de-spiritualized by their own enslavement to MACHINE-RA or the reptiles, and thus unable to generate life force or love, on their own. So, I am going to have to change strategies--obviously my conscientious exposure of the world's hidden truths has not worked, so now it is time to start revealing hidden truths about myself, and the evil, lies and fallacies, which I have perpetuated in times past. Hopefully, such an "examen of consciousness" will free me and my family from the grip of evil which is choking us.

Such an "examen of consciousness" will entail the necessity of confrontation and rejection of much of Christian orthodoxy--something I am loathed to do. I am not a fundamentalist whose whole world view and meaning of life is going to be shattered by a new paradigm of spiritual vision and understanding. As a matter of fact, I personally am quite comfortable holding heterodox and wildly outrageous and conflicting hypotheses in creative and fruitful tension in my mind and actions. However, I understand that I am in a minority of the intellectually and spiritually free and resilient, and that most people would be devastated in their own self-identity and self-esteem, should their entire and cherished world view, however imposed and mind-controlled, be shattered. Worldviews and perspectives do not have to be religious in orientation; some of the most brainwashed and mind-controlled people in the world are agnostics or atheists. However, religion has been the primary mechanism for effective mind-control for most cultures of the world, and it certainly has played a paramount role in my life. Or should I say, "lives"?

I have decided to bite the intellectual bullet, and acknowledge that the straightforward Christian understanding of death, the afterlife, and resurrection is gravely erroneous. I have not wanted to reject such a fundamental dogma, until I had a better understanding of what actually is the truth regarding the (3D) afterlife. I am sorry to say that I still do not have a clear grasp of what actually occurs, but I do know this--the Eastern concept of reincarnation is a vastly superior framework of understanding the truth of the afterlife.

Now, I hate to present any idea, until I understand it fully; however, there is actually an overwhelming amount of data that I accept without fully understanding. I know the sun, moon and planets influence Earth, but I can't begin to grasp the laws of physics behind it. So, it is with reincarnation. I don't understand exactly how it works, but I know that indeed it is influencing my life at this very moment, just as the sun and moon and stars do. The evidence is overwhelming and indisputable, and believe me, I have been intensely sifting, vetting, and testing the possibility for over a couple of years now, ever since my intuition/unconscious began informing me of previous past lives. A certain humility scoffed at the notion of these past lives, but time and events have revealed that yes indeed, I am a "great" and old soul, and to deny and repudiate who you are, and who you have been, is the worst kind of false humility. Even more distressing is that my vaunted and upheld ignorance has been playing right into the hands of my occult tormentors, who know very well who I am, who I was, and who I am called to be, and unencumbered by Christian, or for that matter, any virtue, are able to manipulate me to serve their evil purposes and agendas.

Let me begin by saying, that by "great", I do not necessarily mean "good". I have had quite a few incarnations in which I did tremendous damage, either because I was duped by the MACHINE-RA, or because I actually co-operated, or willingly allied with the dark forces. None of my incarnations were irredeemably evil or corrupt, however, which is why I guess I keep getting reborn as a conflicted "great soul", always struggling to pull away from the inertial tug of the negative, occult forces which are bound and determined to disrupt and undermine my soul and mission, no matter what it takes--and believe me, they have poured it on.

Recently, I have been dealing a lot with past life incarnations, and while I am sure it would be very edifying to list some of them, here, time constraints do not permit it. For, I have accepted, "repented" and resolved most of the negative past karma (and believe me, you would recognize some of the names), including one figure from Egyptian/Roman antiquity, whose errors and evil alliances were especially egregious. However, the key point that allows me to pass over a presentation of the past lives that I recognize is that the bad karma has been resolved.

Right now, as I write this, the reptilian/Tall White faction is in possession of the fetuses of three of my unborn children. It is imperative that I free them, and begin the healing process done to their psyche by their evil abductors. Yesterday, when I went to have an MRI, my brain was flipped over to a reptilian frequency, and now I am being abducted by the reptilian/Nazi faction again. They are trying to get me to touch a crystal skull, since the contents have already been downloaded into my brain as a child. If they can do that, the download will begin again, and at the very least, I will become possessed by the evil spirit of the now dead Atlantean human associated with the skull. At the worst, my mind will shatter, and I will die, or go stark, raving mad. But none of that matters to the faction of the KaBal, who have foregone all pretense of being allies or friend, and sold me out to the reptilian Nazis. They are empty, spiritless, and stunted life forms, and they think that if they just can get the "knowledge" (they are true Gnostics), that is stored in my deep unconscious, then they will feel alive, strong and powerful. Of course, the problem is not in their minds or knowledge base. The problem is in their hearts, and their lack of love. However, the absolute worst that will happen is that these evil, stunted men (and yes, nearly all of my torturers are men), will gain immense amounts of ancient knowledge, which they then can parlay into weapons of occult destruction, to be directed against a helpless humanity. I was mutilated and sexually abused last night, and from my experience of the reptilian/Nazi faction, that will continue every single night that those sick, sadistic cruds can get their hands on me.

So, it has become imperative that my first order of business in this first discussion of my previous lives, is to deal with the one where there still is unaddressed and unresolved karma. That is the triad which involves Jesus Christ, Mary Magdalene, and the Apostle Paul. I know that it will be shocking to many Western readers, but yes indeed, in a previous life, I was Jesus of Nazareth. Jesus, Mary, and Saul/Paul were all part of the the same alien genetic manipulation/experimentation program that PF, myself, and so much of my family has been involved. As a matter of fact, Jesus, like many of my incarnations, was very heavily promoted and influenced by MACHINE-RA--which was looking to "crown" a new a new religious "icon" or prophet, in order to institute a fresh round of mind-control religion--exactly what MACHINE-RA has been trying to force on me, my entire life. This does not mean that Jesus was not a true prophet or an inauthentic phony. He was truly a spiritually gifted and loving man, who lost his life when he refused to go along any further with the plan laid out by MACHINE-RA, and who, subsequent to his death, lost control of his life script to devotees, both cynical and duped, of MACHINE-RA.

What was the plan of MACHINE-RA, carefully prepared since the Ark (MACHINE technology) entered the land of Israel, and the King David genetic experiment went so badly awry due to the anger and trauma caused by his unknowing incest? Why it was necessary to have a spiritual person of great and pure power, to sit on throne in the Jerusalem temple, the location of which is the closest thing to a "master key" to all the galaxy's 72 stargates and the inner Earth energies, that planet Earth has? You see, it takes a person of the proper genetics, and the spiritual knowledge, gained through spiritual discipline and purity of heart, to learn all the various frequencies or codes needed to operate the Jerusalem stargate. Jesus WAS a son of David, and he had the proper genetic prerequisites--the bloodline of all 12 tribes of human heritage. He was reared in the Essene community, and by his mother (very possibly an abnormal conception), all of whom were devotees of MACHINE-RA, and thus he was spiritually formed and informed, according to plan. However, the MACHINE always underestimates the value and importance of free will, and Jesus, like so many other prophets, developed an authentic spiritual life, and once he realized the MACHINE's agenda, he began to fight back. Thus, he ran away, when they tried to make him a king, and he became increasingly dismayed with his follower's worldly understanding of power and glory. Finally, his recalcitrance to do the alien will of the "Shining Ones" (Elohim, or fallen angels), who formed and ruled the Essene cult specifically, and much of the northern tribes, generally, led to his eventual downfall and crucifixion.

Once again, computer problems are requiring me to reload the software editor...