I have not written in a few days, because I have not been free to post my thoughts. You know, in the past, it never would have bothered me. I just would have said, "F-it", and rebelliously gone ahead and said what I wanted. However, things have changed now. I have children, both issue of my own bodily/spiritual free will, and those of my removed ova, and that strongly motivates me to stay here, and pass along something more to my children than my genes--like a father's love and solicitude. In the past, I have been too quick to embrace death or the possibility of death--it was a way to prove my freedom and independence from the world's ultimate control hold. However, this time I am not going that route. I still may die prematurely, but I am tired of just passively accepting the abuse and suffering that I have endured for the past several years. Yes, even as I write this, I am drugged on psychotropics--Depakote for sure, and maybe something else, which has completely disrupted my recently restored spiritual awareness and depths, a result of falling in love and a renewed sexual activity.
However, I know now that the only person who is going to be able to save myself is ME, and despite years of reluctance and foot dragging, it is time (and safe enough) to leave this 3D world, and enter the astral dimensions. Does that mean, I will physically and bodily die? Maybe, but I know that not only is there life after 3D death, I am quite convinced that astral life can be quite robust, creative and productive. It didn't have to be this way. I believe that I had quite the natural brain and spirit to become a dimensional traveler or chameleon, moving between the Terran and astral realms with ease. All I needed was a little space and time to reassure myself that I wasn't headed into occult evil. However, evil intervened, right here in the 3rd dimension, and slowly, but systematically, robbed me of my own natural, higher contemplative functions, and the healthy, high-energy, vibrantly alive body that would have allowed me easy access to higher dimensional travel, had my free will assented.
Well now, my free will assents (though it still is a little wary of where it is "safe"), but my health is completely wrecked, and with my body's natural (masculine), energy flow so disrupted by forced feminization (loss of muscle and flesh), and mutilation, I no longer have the ability to generate and focus the energy needed to lift consciousness from the body. The brain is in a little better shape, since I was born with a higher vibrational brain, which was reinforced, I think, by a satanic ritual in which my childish brain was exposed to the crystal skull--which is what is responsible for so much of my unconscious contents. However, my brain has suffered permanent neural damage as well, and as a result of psychotropic drug abuse and nano-technology mind control interference, it no longer moves with the speed and agility that it once did. Last night I was chopped up even further. I ask the reader to imagine what it would be like to have your arms/hands naturally clasp above your belly button. Think about how miserable such a curtailed range of motion would feel, and you will get some idea of how violated I feel after these mutilations.
Still, it is no use complaining about about the injustice of my body being controlled and violated while in the astral realm. I have been doing it for nearly two years now, and it has had no impact on the conscience of my tormentors, whatsoever. In their view my body belongs to them to do whatever the hell they want to, and what they want to do, is to parasitically latch on and feed their stunted, and even depraved spirits, from my own life force. The fact that I am in a female body delights them more--for the stunted and depraved masculine loves to torment and victimize the feminine.
My ill health is not going to get demonstrably better, for its primary cause, the refusal of my mind controllers to listen to my own reiterated symptoms and treatments, is still ongoing. Apparently, my kidneys are in really poor shape. I have been asking for years that my kidneys receive extended diagnostic analysis. I have been screaming for years about the smell of bleach and other chemical smells in my urine. I have been screaming on this blog for years about being autistic, and how my body cannot naturally excrete the heavy metal downloads that the virus initiates. Nobody has listened for years, and I know they don't give a damn now. I have already had six organ transplants done in the astral realm, utilizing high technology. I have thrown myself into this fight against evil, whole-heartedly, without reservation or concern for personal life or self, and my body has paid the price, and continues to do so.
However, my mind and spirit has grown stronger, and my faith tells me that I have a future--a positive future--not just as another mind controlled enslaved, victimized feminine icon to provide succor to all the poor, parasitical sobs, devitalized and de-spiritualized by their own enslavement to MACHINE-RA or the reptiles, and thus unable to generate life force or love, on their own. So, I am going to have to change strategies--obviously my conscientious exposure of the world's hidden truths has not worked, so now it is time to start revealing hidden truths about myself, and the evil, lies and fallacies, which I have perpetuated in times past. Hopefully, such an "examen of consciousness" will free me and my family from the grip of evil which is choking us.
Such an "examen of consciousness" will entail the necessity of confrontation and rejection of much of Christian orthodoxy--something I am loathed to do. I am not a fundamentalist whose whole world view and meaning of life is going to be shattered by a new paradigm of spiritual vision and understanding. As a matter of fact, I personally am quite comfortable holding heterodox and wildly outrageous and conflicting hypotheses in creative and fruitful tension in my mind and actions. However, I understand that I am in a minority of the intellectually and spiritually free and resilient, and that most people would be devastated in their own self-identity and self-esteem, should their entire and cherished world view, however imposed and mind-controlled, be shattered. Worldviews and perspectives do not have to be religious in orientation; some of the most brainwashed and mind-controlled people in the world are agnostics or atheists. However, religion has been the primary mechanism for effective mind-control for most cultures of the world, and it certainly has played a paramount role in my life. Or should I say, "lives"?
I have decided to bite the intellectual bullet, and acknowledge that the straightforward Christian understanding of death, the afterlife, and resurrection is gravely erroneous. I have not wanted to reject such a fundamental dogma, until I had a better understanding of what actually is the truth regarding the (3D) afterlife. I am sorry to say that I still do not have a clear grasp of what actually occurs, but I do know this--the Eastern concept of reincarnation is a vastly superior framework of understanding the truth of the afterlife.
Now, I hate to present any idea, until I understand it fully; however, there is actually an overwhelming amount of data that I accept without fully understanding. I know the sun, moon and planets influence Earth, but I can't begin to grasp the laws of physics behind it. So, it is with reincarnation. I don't understand exactly how it works, but I know that indeed it is influencing my life at this very moment, just as the sun and moon and stars do. The evidence is overwhelming and indisputable, and believe me, I have been intensely sifting, vetting, and testing the possibility for over a couple of years now, ever since my intuition/unconscious began informing me of previous past lives. A certain humility scoffed at the notion of these past lives, but time and events have revealed that yes indeed, I am a "great" and old soul, and to deny and repudiate who you are, and who you have been, is the worst kind of false humility. Even more distressing is that my vaunted and upheld ignorance has been playing right into the hands of my occult tormentors, who know very well who I am, who I was, and who I am called to be, and unencumbered by Christian, or for that matter, any virtue, are able to manipulate me to serve their evil purposes and agendas.
Let me begin by saying, that by "great", I do not necessarily mean "good". I have had quite a few incarnations in which I did tremendous damage, either because I was duped by the MACHINE-RA, or because I actually co-operated, or willingly allied with the dark forces. None of my incarnations were irredeemably evil or corrupt, however, which is why I guess I keep getting reborn as a conflicted "great soul", always struggling to pull away from the inertial tug of the negative, occult forces which are bound and determined to disrupt and undermine my soul and mission, no matter what it takes--and believe me, they have poured it on.
Recently, I have been dealing a lot with past life incarnations, and while I am sure it would be very edifying to list some of them, here, time constraints do not permit it. For, I have accepted, "repented" and resolved most of the negative past karma (and believe me, you would recognize some of the names), including one figure from Egyptian/Roman antiquity, whose errors and evil alliances were especially egregious. However, the key point that allows me to pass over a presentation of the past lives that I recognize is that the bad karma has been resolved.
Right now, as I write this, the reptilian/Tall White faction is in possession of the fetuses of three of my unborn children. It is imperative that I free them, and begin the healing process done to their psyche by their evil abductors. Yesterday, when I went to have an MRI, my brain was flipped over to a reptilian frequency, and now I am being abducted by the reptilian/Nazi faction again. They are trying to get me to touch a crystal skull, since the contents have already been downloaded into my brain as a child. If they can do that, the download will begin again, and at the very least, I will become possessed by the evil spirit of the now dead Atlantean human associated with the skull. At the worst, my mind will shatter, and I will die, or go stark, raving mad. But none of that matters to the faction of the KaBal, who have foregone all pretense of being allies or friend, and sold me out to the reptilian Nazis. They are empty, spiritless, and stunted life forms, and they think that if they just can get the "knowledge" (they are true Gnostics), that is stored in my deep unconscious, then they will feel alive, strong and powerful. Of course, the problem is not in their minds or knowledge base. The problem is in their hearts, and their lack of love. However, the absolute worst that will happen is that these evil, stunted men (and yes, nearly all of my torturers are men), will gain immense amounts of ancient knowledge, which they then can parlay into weapons of occult destruction, to be directed against a helpless humanity. I was mutilated and sexually abused last night, and from my experience of the reptilian/Nazi faction, that will continue every single night that those sick, sadistic cruds can get their hands on me.
So, it has become imperative that my first order of business in this first discussion of my previous lives, is to deal with the one where there still is unaddressed and unresolved karma. That is the triad which involves Jesus Christ, Mary Magdalene, and the Apostle Paul. I know that it will be shocking to many Western readers, but yes indeed, in a previous life, I was Jesus of Nazareth. Jesus, Mary, and Saul/Paul were all part of the the same alien genetic manipulation/experimentation program that PF, myself, and so much of my family has been involved. As a matter of fact, Jesus, like many of my incarnations, was very heavily promoted and influenced by MACHINE-RA--which was looking to "crown" a new a new religious "icon" or prophet, in order to institute a fresh round of mind-control religion--exactly what MACHINE-RA has been trying to force on me, my entire life. This does not mean that Jesus was not a true prophet or an inauthentic phony. He was truly a spiritually gifted and loving man, who lost his life when he refused to go along any further with the plan laid out by MACHINE-RA, and who, subsequent to his death, lost control of his life script to devotees, both cynical and duped, of MACHINE-RA.
What was the plan of MACHINE-RA, carefully prepared since the Ark (MACHINE technology) entered the land of Israel, and the King David genetic experiment went so badly awry due to the anger and trauma caused by his unknowing incest? Why it was necessary to have a spiritual person of great and pure power, to sit on throne in the Jerusalem temple, the location of which is the closest thing to a "master key" to all the galaxy's 72 stargates and the inner Earth energies, that planet Earth has? You see, it takes a person of the proper genetics, and the spiritual knowledge, gained through spiritual discipline and purity of heart, to learn all the various frequencies or codes needed to operate the Jerusalem stargate. Jesus WAS a son of David, and he had the proper genetic prerequisites--the bloodline of all 12 tribes of human heritage. He was reared in the Essene community, and by his mother (very possibly an abnormal conception), all of whom were devotees of MACHINE-RA, and thus he was spiritually formed and informed, according to plan. However, the MACHINE always underestimates the value and importance of free will, and Jesus, like so many other prophets, developed an authentic spiritual life, and once he realized the MACHINE's agenda, he began to fight back. Thus, he ran away, when they tried to make him a king, and he became increasingly dismayed with his follower's worldly understanding of power and glory. Finally, his recalcitrance to do the alien will of the "Shining Ones" (Elohim, or fallen angels), who formed and ruled the Essene cult specifically, and much of the northern tribes, generally, led to his eventual downfall and crucifixion.
Once again, computer problems are requiring me to reload the software editor...