I was hit with a realization

I was hit with a realization earlier today, that struck with force of a sledge hammer. I found a scrap of paper in my Bible with some ideas I had jotted down, and as usual, I couldn't remember what was the original impulse behind any of them. The only one I could even recognize was King Saul/Merovingians. King Saul, of course, was a Benjaminite, and thus a Merovingian, his Terran ancestral family lands from southern Iraq. I think I talked about this with D., rather than wrote about it, but the research is clearly substantiated.

Anyway, as I did my daily alley constitutional, the insights started unfolding. King David was actually the illegitimate son of King David. I am sorry to any and all naysayers, but that insight got a resounding intuitive PING, and it makes sense.

I believe that Saul knew that David was his son, and had him brought to court, when the time was right. The only question that I need to ponder further is whether David was a naturally born son of some Judean (from the tribe of Judah) woman, or was he the result of Merovingian/occult genetic engineering? You have got to remember that, from the earliest days, Israel had its "angels", like St. Michael, to protect it. What if David was half of a "twin supersoul", conceived and manipulated on Mars? David would not have known, and maybe even Saul was an unwitting player, but someone had to know--the most likely candidates were the prophet Samuel, guardian of the Ark and the priests.

I don't have time to go in depth right now, and reread some scripture chapters, but I am going to sketch out a brief skeleton of hypthesis, do a few things around the house, and then settle down and dig in.

I suspect that Saul's children were bred to possess a highly pure bloodline, that not only cemented alliances between the twelve tribes of Israel, but also among their occult, extra-3dimensional patrons. However, their attempts to manipulate the sentient, if dumbed-down species of humanity, was ethically edgy, and so the experimentation was accomplished covertly, but because humanity are ensouled beings, not lab rats, whose behavior can be predicted, the experiment ended up being a huge and tragic failure.

I think David grew up either as a "bastard", or a unknowingly, adopted child, who would have always wondered why he didn't fit into his family. I tend to prefer the first possibility, because it would explain something that has always bothered me...why was David, a truly great soul, so hateful to women?

Having worked with large numbers of psychologically wounded men over the years, I have learned that men who do not have fathers, MARRIED TO THEIR MOTHERS, grow up psychologically insecure, incapable of accepting the responsibility of manhood as they get older. It does not matter if Dad loves his sons, and drops by with a bag of Pampers and groceries once a month, or if he gives his son a 100,000 car for his 16th birthday. Because of the Oedipal dynamics in the young boy's psyche, he needs to see his father as the active partner in his mother's life--otherwise he has difficulty freeing himself from his own Oedipal love to his mother, and either becomes a philanderer who is incapable of commitment, a psychological (not literal) mama's boy, who is terrified of commitment, or a misogynist, who struggles to respect and relate to the feminine, because he fears them.

Now clearly, many men (including myself), struggle with any or all of these features, but if a male youth has the intimate experience of knowing that his own father has made this terrifying leap into true manhood, he can do it himself. As a personal aside, I will admit that it scares me sometimes to think that I have married such a strong and powerful woman, who truly is my equal, but I guarantee you, that the fruit of our union would not be such strong and special stock, if I had not been capable of that commitment. However, as abusive as my father was, he did fulfill the bare obligations of being husband and father, and so it was instilled in me that if you knock a woman up, you man up, so that the thought that my children would think that their father did not respect their own mother enough to marry her, was completely abhorrent to me.

David was lacking in this ability, and I think it plagued his relationship with all women his entire life. As the alien patrons and the priests planned, David was successful in the battlefield and court--he WAS special, remember, and then King Saul married him to his daughter, and David's half-sister (or maybe, genetic twin?), Michal. But again, we humans are not lab rats, who behave predictably. Even though it is clear from the scriptural evidence that Michal loved David so deeply that she was ready to sacrifice her own safety and well-being for him, David did not return the love. Instead, he gay-buddied around with Jonathan, his half-brother!

Needless to say, I do not have any prejudice against gay or lesbian people whatsoever. However, I know that in misogynistic cultural traditions, intense homosexual relations often occur between young men, just because they are reared to despise women, and literally have no idea of how to relate to them, especially as friends, which really is the precursor to genuine love. That friendship is what Jonathan provided to David, in the all-male milieu in which they lived. Would David have been able to mature past this complicated triangle and commit to love his wife, with the purity of heart that he brought to so many other areas of his life? (Given the nature of society and his royal expectations, any mature homosexual relationship was not possible, for it never would have received official recognition...)

I suspect so, but I cannot say for sure, because the experiment was exploding. Scripture tells us that Saul was possessed by an "evil spirit", and it also tells us that he got involved with a group of "ecstatics" as a young man, and danced his way into a trance. Uh oh. Something tells me that he ended up on an extradimensional plane somewhere. Anytime, someone is unconsciously manipulated by occult (hidden) forces, it causes anger and depending on the level of evil employed by the occult, even possession. Saul had to have known that somehow, he was being played and manipulated, but he couldn't figure out what was causing his anger, but he knew David was involved somehow, and he displaced his anger onto him.

David had to run, literally for his life, and he ran to the priestly complex, who gave him temporary sanctuary. I think it was there that he learned, probably from a well meaning (or not) priest, of his origins. The realization that Saul was his father, and that he had been engaged in sexual relations with his sister and brother, must have completely sickened his virtuous heart. He would not have had knowledge of genetics or history, much less the occult tradition of creating "supersouls". Instead, he would have had the Mosaic law burned into his code of ethics, and the taboo against incest is one of the most powerful. Complicating his guilt would have been his own personal fear of Michal/women and culturally based shame over his homosexual liason with Jonathan. He was probably torn between the two relationships, and then he learned that both were taboo, according to the Law of God!

Well, the rest is history, as they say. David goes on the lam, and comes back as king of Israel. Jonathan died, along with Saul, and upon his return, David dances before the Ark (in custody of the northern tribes), thus repudiating Benjamin. He also repudiates Michal, who saved his life. Scripture emphatically tells us that he never touched her again, but it was not because of anything Michal did; it was because he had resolved to break off all incestuous relationships. His guilt and shame was too intense, and that revealed itself a few years later, when he could not bring himself to punish his son Absalom, who raped his sister, Tamar. How could he confront Absalom, when he condemned his own self for sleeping with his sister, Michal?

I suppose some people might wonder if I have ever been bothered by the incest taboo of sex with siblings. I thought about it, but I was a lot more mature than the youthful David, when I discovered the hidden manipulation that was occurring in my life. I also had a much clearer perception of my sexual identity, and having lived in a lesbian partnership for over five years, was quite immune to the hate stares and opprobrium that many in society confer on the sexually different. I remember once, when I was still in the closet, being at a party, playing the game, "Scruples", where you are to answer honestly any question that the chosen card asks. So, my (Christian) acquaintance pulled out the card, and asked me, "Have you ever engaged in any sexually deviant acts?" Well, anyone who knows me, knows how honest I am, and so I was not trying to hide anything, when I thought about it for a long minute, scratched my head, and said, "Define deviance". She gave me a nervous look, put the card under the pile, and said, "I'm asking you another question."

But that is where I stand. Religious and/or moral law has to make sense to me, and the incest taboo makes sense, insofar as it guards from a interbred narrowing of the gene pool. However, I know that the genetic experimentation that was done on PF and I, was so advanced, that it provides the exact opposite--it increases the genetic pool once we mate. I would have had a greater chance of incestuous genetic contamination, if I had sexually mated with someone from my father's or mother's home county (and how many people do that?). David couldn't have known that. He would have had a very fundamentalist understanding of scripture--"God said it, I believe it, that settles it". David, like me, was not raised with his siblings, so of course, he would have acted on sexual impulse. Had I been raised with PF in a family setting, I am sure we would have the greatest sisterly friendship, but it is extremely doubtful that I would have had any conscious sexual attraction to her.

So, I guess that I can thank the damned Nazis for that, even though PF's mind-controlled, early life is beyond horrific. I guess, too, that I can thank a culture and country which allows freedom of thought, because I was able to glean the information I needed, in order to make an informed decision. David never had that--he only knew what the priests told him. Finally, I want to say that the whole Merovingian sham of "the Holy Grail of the bloodline" is unnecessary, for David WAS Merovingian through his father, King Saul, and addle-pated and hoaxed genealogies are completely unnecessary. I hope this lessens tensions, but I am reading that the Merovingians are at it again, this time claiming to find "holy" writings showing Jesus predicted the coming of the Prophet Muhammad. What a crock of shit! You mind control types never learn. All your lies, hoaxes and deceptions will always be found out--the only difference is, how many people, including great-souled people, will you destroy in your machinations. Your predecessors destroyed Saul and Jonathan, and left David emotionally crippled and embittered, while his loving, supportive wife, suffered to the end of her days. I know that you will destroy both me and/or PF, if you can, but hopefully, the fact that we are a little wiser this time around, will save us.