Saturday, March 31, 2012
One in the morning
One in the morning, and upon awakening, I can't just lie there and doze in fanciful reverie, because I understand now that the MACHINE has put an implant in my head which will start playing images, until I lose control of my own consciousness and become fully plugged in. That is what happened yesterday morning, until I managed to snap it. It also does not help that I am so sick with pain and nausea. Part of it is caused by excessive estrogen (yes, I know very well, what waking up with a migraine and cramping legs mean), and part of it is caused by mechanical structural misalignments from all of the bodily mutilations, most recently to my shoulders and back. I am not meant to be a "Twiggy", yet that is what my body is morphing into, however painful and hateful. I've never cared for the "Twiggy" look at all, and let me tell you, that it is even more painful to carry it around on one's own frame, than it is to see it on a full grown woman, although for some reason the Nazis seem to like it--maybe it pleases their sadistic/masochistic aesthetic. However, my status is not going to change anytime soon. I am able to eat less and less, because the latest genetic flip made my stomach so autistic (all the neurotransmitters are there), that the viral-infested food, which is the only kind I can buy in this VR hell hole, all makes me sick to the point of the food being inedible. As if all of this were not enough, I figured out who is the "second man" struggling within me. It is the third integral member of my immediate genetic experiment triad--a hybrid grey male triplet. As I have written before, the third in a genetic experiment triad is meant to be a spoiler, a "third", an "odd man out". I have identified the Apostle Paul, a grey hybrid, as part of a genetic triad, and I have identified another grey hybrid in my past life. I will go ahead and identify him here. Even though I don't know his real name, the world knows him as John Coffey, the fictional character in the movie, "The Green Mile". Now, I am not a Stephen King fan, so I don't know how much tied into the occult he is, but given the nature of his books, I would say that there is at least some connection, even if it is not explicit. However, I have been told, by someone who does their homework, that there is documented evidence that he was a real man, and that was an intuitive hit when I heard it. John Coffey was the Black mystic who was executed in the film, and while he was an innocent soul, he was helpless to navigate well in reality, for the MACHINE and the genetic experiment had effectively fragmented the personalities of the Triad into mind, personality/emotions, and soul, but none of them (I was Charles Lindbergh--all brain), were able to function holistically as strong individuals, so all three ended up being used by the MACHINE-RA, the Grey/Tall White occult agenda, and the purpose of evil. Yes, even innocent people can be used. You see, according to the film, (which is the only history we have), John Coffey, the innocent with a superabundance of "soul" or "etheric energy", was executed in 1932, the exact same year that Baby Lindbergh was murdered--an innocent baby being the prime source of pure etheric energy. In other words, Coffey was a executed as a sacrifice used to bring about the success of Vosk's fledgling Nazi plans. In the case of the Apostle Paul, he was put on "stand by", until he was needed to contain the downloaded consciousness of the crucified Jesus. Because he was a genetic match, with hybrid genetic modification, he was able to capture a lot of Jesus' essence, but with his own immature and warped personality, tweaking the message in many of the essentials. Still, I think that Paul was able to mature into a truly spiritual man, and given his deprived background, he truly reached the heights of sanctity. For the third, the grey hybrid of a genetic experiment is not allowed by the occult, to develop their own sense of personality, their own sense of self-will, until the time of their choosing. Usually, that time is when they want to transfer over the consciousness of a primary to the third, because the primary is either dead (often at the hands of the occult), or not able to participate in the occult's agenda for whatever reason. So, when Jesus decided that he was not longer going to cooperate with MACHINE-RA's plans--and remember he was an integral part of the MACHINE-RA community for much of his life, and that it would be better to die on principle, well that suited the MACHINE just fine. Paul, who was then Saul, a rejected member of the Jewish community, because I believe that he was intersexed with a micropenis, was ready to download the consciousness of Jesus. Now, the MACHINE cannot transfer love or "soul", but it can transfer the knowledge acquired by someone who loves or has soul, and that is how Paul got his first real start in the spiritual life, though he developed quite his own formidable personality once that happened. So, that is the purpose of the "Third" of a genetic experiment, and I have a "third", too. As a matter of fact, I have seen him. He was deliberately placed next to me, with a gravely disabled mother and child in a hospital waiting room. I have even seen one of his brothers, since apparently this occult experiment goes back to the 1920's or 30's or even earlier, for I have learned that my Scottish/Ulster great grandfather was an occultist of some note and prominence. This grey hybrid was born into the family of my Dad's best childhood friend! Anyway, when I realized that it was this "third" within me who was fighting and competing within me to prevent ascension into the astral realm, I struck up a little bit of a conversation with him. He agreed to be called "Tad" (from another genetic experiment lifetime?), but I modified that to "Chad", which is a little easier on my phonetics, and reminds me of the "hanging chads" from the 2000 election--votes that don't count. For he was born as, and is a Grey hybrid slave, and his self-expression, and his self-worth, and his self-understanding, don't mean shit to his handlers. He was created purely to be used at his occult master's behest, and he was reared in an environment which ensures that. I don't know if he is in a much stronger VR prison, or if he is in some off-planet colony where the Grey hybrids are, but I know that the Grey hybrids are treated terribly. I remember talking to PF over a year ago--when she was still an occasional inner voice, and she was telling me that as much as I have suffered at the hands of these occultists, I cannot imagine the hellish suffering that they have inflicted upon others. At the time, I thought of the humans at Dulce, and the experiments done there (six legged and bat winged humans born of monstrous experiments, and/or driven insane), and decided that was a dark place that I would rather not think on. However, I think these grey Hybrids (and that just means a baby produced from a human genome, tampered and adulterated with genes from the sterile race of the Greys) have it worse than even human Hybrids. Remember, I have two Hybrid children, and I went to a lot of trouble to save them, and I know of their pain, loneliness and longing desire to be part of the human family. I suspect that they are reared on Mars, but separate from human hybrids. Human hybrids are treated as slaves--just look at the physical abuse and sexual slavery in life story of PF or the experiences of my own hybrid children, yet the Grey hybrids are treated even worse than that. Because of the inserted Grey genes, I expect that they are very autistic, yet because they are human too, they have to have the desire and need for social life and companionship, so like me, as a youngster, they must feel very lonely and rejected. Then, on top of that, I don't think that the ones raised "on-colony", rather than with a human family, have even their barest of emotional needs met. When I saw Chad in the hospital room, I recognized someone who had never known love in his life, and thus was incapable of giving it. Of course, the entire set up, was just another psych op, done by the Nazi control handlers, but at the time, I still bit on those, and so responded as if I were a free man, not a rat in a VR cage, monitored by Tall Whites. So, I responded warmly to the mother taking care of her sick child, who suffered from a rare genetic disability, which meant that she would never lead a human life. I cannot remember what it is now, but the life expectancy is low, and the only thing that can be done is to assist with quality of life. The girl was to have an operation to stop her chronic UT infections, and as I was leaving, I wished the mother well (the girl herself could not communicate). Chad attempted to follow my lead, but because he had no love, his attempts at solicitous concern came across as "creepy". Now an intuitive sophisticate like myself would have recognized his best intention--that he was trying to reach out in an act of love, but fell a little off, because he didn't hadn't had enough experience of being loved himself, but the mother politely just shut him out. This is very disheartening and demoralizing to someone. I know, because I have been there. For years, literally years, I attempted to reach out to other people in friendship or social amity, and, because I was autistic, and had such occult trauma in my background, I always came across as a "little off", and was rejected. Still, I kept trying, until grace gave me a huge boost, but it still happens. So I fully understand the pain of the Greys and Chad. The following day, I started piecing together some clues, and I realized that the girl had been "healed miraculously" somehow. She had been waiting for a doctor to check her urinary tract, to make sure she would be ready to be prepped for the surgery that would physically relocate it, so that it didn't cause infection. I think when the physician went to check it, he/she found the UT already moved, "miraculously" into the optimum place for which the surgery was indicated. Can't be sure, but the REAL ER doctor who came to see me that morning was awfully deferential and friendly, and something definitely happened. So, after learning of Paul, I realized that Chad is MY Paul--he has led a truly miserable, wretched life, whose only enjoyment and purpose is to follow his master's command and ruin my life and mission, so that he can come into his own. I talked to him briefly yesterday, and he told me that he is punished if he does not follow his masters' commands. I believe it. So, it is he causing a lot of mischief in my astral travels, breaking dreamcatchers woven with with love, and the like. If he were not my brother, I would say that he is an evil spirit, but he shares one of my Y genes, and I have met him, and he is not so much an evil being, as hopelessly enslaved by evil. If he were truly evil, he would not have attempted to show love to that woman and child in the hospital. Chad wants to love, but he doesn't know how. Real evil is powerful--not miserably and wretchedly enslaved in circumstances that one cannot control. Another truth that I now know is that, like Paul, Chad waits in the wings, waiting for my demise, so that he can receive the consciousness download that he hopes will liberate and free him. It does not matter to him if I physically die, or I just become totally plugged into the MACHINE, and lose all sense of conscious self. It is not malice on his part. He has been raised to believe that is his mission and his destiny, and he longs for his liberation with the same ardor that I do. I never thought of my liberation in terms of zero/sum or win/lose, but that is the diabolical, evil mind of genetic manipulators at work. They planned this strife between us, from the very beginning. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be surprised if the competition between us began in the womb--two "Y"'s, two separate male genetic codes and potential consciousnesses vying for dominance, and both losing. He appears to have a male body type, but no manhood; I have manhood, but feel terribly the lack of my male body. This entire scenario actually has much wider implications. On a cosmic level, it is important that my two "Y"'s learn to cooperate and coexist rather than fight for dominance. Now, while it is important, at critical stages in development, that the Y chromosome separates from the ubiquitous "X", in order for the man to live out the fullness of his own true self and destiny, in patriarchal society, this separation, this struggle for dominance, has gone from being an essential part of immature (both fetal, and in some cases of remedial necessity, adolescent) formation, to being a life long preoccupation of gender bias and division. And guess what people? When did patriarchy begin? Why, with the invasion of the reptiles, and their subsequent genetic manipulation of human beings!! The XY chromosome couplet can live in peace, harmony, and fruitfulness, and indeed that is the way that the universe designed us. Men are never purely males--roughly half of their blueprint is female, and when they deny, denigrate, subjugate, or control the female in the outer world, they are only throttling the fullness of their own humanity, but again, that is the way the reptiles want it! So, how did the reptiles manage to set this essential cornerstone of occult manipulation? First of all, they dis-empowered man and woman of their personal sovereignty as an individual. They turned them into penurious, powerless minions of the state, under the subjugation "kings" and monarchs, who were nothing but the genetic hybrids of the reptiles themselves, and kept under the strictest and tightest mind control possible. It isn't African Blacks who have been victimized as slaves--IT IS THE ENTIRE WORLD. It is just that the Matrix uses hierarchy to provide an illusion that someone is always "more" or "less" than I am, BUT WE ARE ALL SLAVES. Yes, some of us have suffered slavery more heinously than others, but as long as we keep fighting each other, instead of working together, slavery will be all of humanity's birth curse. Then, through rape and lust, they perverted the sexual order. When the reptiles and the Tall Whites (Nephilim) invaded and raped the females, they not only scarred the the women, but left agonizing psychic wounds of dis-empowered insecurity in the men. As sexuality went from being a great gift of joy and celebration of love, spirit, and life to an a bodily/hormonal need linked to aggression in males and procreation in females, lust took hold in the former, and alienation from their own body in the latter. Again, the male code or "Y" gene in the man turned a brief stage of development into a life long need for dominance. And it doesn't end there. This over-inflamed encouragement of males as dominating and competitive is what causes so much instability in the world. The natural "Y" code impetus to break away and separate has been artificially inflamed to insist on a dominance that can only feel good about himself, when he feels superior to the person next to him. The "Y"'s (males) of the world desperately need to learn how to co-exist and co-operate with each other, AS well as with the feminine or X's. If Chad and I can work this out, maybe it can impact matters on a cosmic level. For I am not the first XYY male, nor was Charles Lindbergh, nor Jesus. My guess is that this particular genetic construct has been used ever since the reptiles began manipulating humanity's genes. It is a way of ensuring constant interior strife and struggle, among the great "genetic souls" of humanity. I will go so far as to say that it goes back to Jacob and Esau, who as Scripture tells us, "contended even in the womb". Now, there is no way that I can prove it, but I would not be surprised if Esau was a genetic hybrid of some kind (remember he was very hairy--and the human father of this grey hybrid family that I know was extremely hairy), and while Jacob was blessed--courtesy of the MACHINE--read the story of Jacob's ladder, Esau went on to become the founder of the Edomites or contemporary Arabs. Now, I had an interesting dream last night myself, with all of this thinking about fighting my male twin in the womb. I dreamed that I (as a Christian) was present at some kind of joyous religious festival, and all these Jewish patriarchs were doing some kind of religious circle dance, and Muslims were involved as well. As a matter of fact, one of the Jewish patriarchs said, "We must respect the tent of Mohammad", and indeed, there was a glistening tent, labelled "Mohammad" off to the side. What can I say? My spirituality is not really of the "feel-good" vibe, but rather that of the pragmatist, "do the right thing" vibe, but in this dream, I felt the most ecumenical "feel good" vibe I have ever felt, and I have been to more than a few ecumenical services in my day. I think I had that dream, because the same issue I am contending with--an unnatural strife, brought about by reptilian intervention of genetic manipulation, is responsible for the hatreds of the Middle East. I am the "blessed" one, but the reptiles created an equally gifted counterpart, and then denied him the means to fulfill his own blessing. I think the same is true, however symbolically of Jacob and Esau, and that is what is playing out now between the Jews and the Arabs. But the dream I had was real, and as much interference as I am getting from the MACHINE, I have to vet everything, so I know it was real. (By the way, am I channelling stupidass shit again? Haven't we been through this before with Therese of Liseux? When are all the damned babies of the world going to realize that the MACHINE has every religious sage, prophet and saint on file, and can download at will. What is unique is my SPIRIT, but if my words are robbed of me, and others placed in my mouth, because my spirit is not free, then they become less, and perhaps even blasphemously so). Anyway, I know this dream was real, because the occult hates the Jews, and Faction 2 has overwhelming preference for Muslims, so there is no way that the MACHINE would download a "feel good" dream of amity between Christians, Jews, and Muslims in my head. The other reason I know it is true, is because I had a dream prior to that, which absolutely rang true. In the first dream, I was shown the basement of my house, and it was a true palace! I was mesmerized, walking around, turning on gold faucets, opening door and door, wondering how huge this place really was. However, riches never really have impressed me, so I said, " okay, I get it. I want to go home now." So, I went to find the staircase leading me back to my house, and it was gone! Then I heard someone walking in my house up above me, and I panicked--someone is trying to break into my house and pretend to be me, while I am all distracted by riches down here. So, I found a riveted wall ladder, that was designed for a tall maintenance man, not a crippled, mutilated five foot tall Twiggy, but I was determined to get back to my house, and with every ounce of strength that I had, I pulled myself back up, and felt such joy and relief. Again, I think that dream speaks to my situation. There are beings and factions trying to steal my true personhood, my consciousness, my house, by drowning me in an unconsciousness that will destroy my true spiritual giftedness. The second dream tells the true gift that I have to offer, if I can make peace with Chad--a resolution to the enmity between MEN (nations), and particularly, Jews and Arabs, which is a direct result of the same genetic manipulation I have suffered from myself.