Wednesday, November 30, 2011

I have figured out what is making me so ill

I have figured out what is making me so ill. In addition to the testosterone deprivation that i have been lamenting, especially since I was unable to get my hands on the synthetic supplement that I have been using for the last six months now, just to get by, I also am suffering from serotonin intoxication. I made a brief stop at the Indian center to buy inexpensive "res" cigarettes, and the way the Indians in the place looked at me, I knew what they saw. I have seen serotonin intoxication before--when I was in jail, an occasional Native woman would come in with the stiff walk, the emotionally vacant look, and the zombie lack of engagement with reality. Their brains were totally pickled in alcohol. After a week or so, they would develop a personality, with no awareness of how emotionally and mentally incapacitated they were by the alcohol. Many years ago, when I was becoming increasingly disengaged from reality, due to the lithium, I drove by a homeless wino, who was just waking and getting up from his sleep by a property wall. As I saw him stumble up drunkenly, with a vacant look on his face, I said to myself, "I know how you feel brother. I feel the same way". And I did--for lithium and the MACHINE causes serotonin intoxication in me. If I had enough testosterone, it would lessen the impact, but without it, I am a walking zombie. Furthermore, I am recognizing that my brain is starting to go. As I was driving today, I recognized that I had lost a sense of time and did not know where I was--another lithium marker. My brain is starting to lose memory neurons, and goddamned it, I have already lost too many tens of thousands of memory neurons due to the damned lithium. Well, there is nothing for it, but to drink alcohol--which oddly enough makes me feel more human when I am on lithium. That, and watch TV--as any other kind of activity just is too difficult. My legs are too weak and shaky to even walk--just like a wino's. My poor body and brain--it is not me abusing you.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Trying to sleep, I realized that the dinner

Trying to sleep, I realized that the dinner I ate four hours ago is sitting in my stomach like a cinder block--and i hardly ate, due to a lack of appetite. I think these breathing and disgestive problems are all related to lack of testosterone. I don't have enough fuel to provide for basic metabolic needs and even the most routine of physical functions. Sucks. I wonder how much weight I will gain this time?

I am suffering from respiratory distress

I am suffering from respiratory distress--the most recent manipulation of my spine has left my body unable to oxygenate, and even lying down, I keep heaving to try to get my breath. It has been a horrible day--unable to move, because I am so sick with brain tumor syndrome. I would worry about my weight, due to the utter lack of exercise, but I have no appetite--no appetite for anything--food, life, or anything. I walked a couple of blocks and got my hair cut. When the stylist let me check out the back of my head, i was shocked. My small, round cranium is gone, and now I have an elongated rectangle--like Max Headroom. Just one more thing I hate about my changes to my appearance that these Nazis have done to me. They have literally taken everything away from me that I liked about myself--and for what? Anyway, I don't have much to say--I just am dreading going back to bed and dealing with the brain rushes that make it impossible to sleep. The only thing that gets me through that is vicodin, but I am low. Maybe I will go to the doctor tomorrow. I may need oxygen. My neighbor had major problems with his breathing when the virus was implanted in him. It could be structural, or it could be a lack of testosterone--all day I have struggling just to stand on my own two feet. It is shaping up to be a winter from hell.

As best as I can figure out

As best as I can figure out, the dog or red Sirians have some kind of alliance with our government, and they are the ones drugging me with psychotropics. It is the same old shit that I have experienced for years, and yesterday, the drugging had me literally psychotic. This morning, it is just difficult to see straight. Apparently, I won't align with any one alien faction, so the dominant group operating here on this planet, "claims dibs" on me, despite my most vehement protestations. Nothing I can do, but suffer, and suffer I do. I am miserable in this body--not one part of it feels right to me. I have difficulty breathing, and it is because my oxygen meridian pathways have been blocked off. I can tell because, moving into different positions--like trying to touch my toes--makes breathing even more difficult. Right now, it is hard to see, because my eyeballs are frozen. i keep trying to function and stay positive, but it is difficult..

Monday, November 28, 2011

Fucking goddamned pigs

Fucking goddamned pigs have got me on lithium again. should have known last nite when brain started rushing. hbad to take two vicodin just to sleep. today is worst. so fucking sick, wish i could cut wrists. worst of all is i am so ffmiserable in this goddamned female body. fucking hate it iwht a fucking passoin. just want the boobs cut off. mmore than that tho. fucking assholes hav e fucking messed up curvature of spine. literally cant lay down flat. cant lie down now ay without fucking nazis boobs in mt fucking way. the better to rape you with my dear. fucking pihgs make me fucking sick. took all kind of drugs yesterday. will need to do it again today. too much pain . too sick to fucking sleep. wish i were dead. rather be dead than sufferin g in this mutilated chopped up hateful body. another way i know i am on lithium--alcihol makes me feel better, sharper, more clear in my mind. but i am too nauseated to drin any more alcohol. already semi psychotice. tont need more alcohol.

My muscles are so locked and spasmed

My muscles are so locked and spasmed that i feel like a boa constrictor is wrapped around my torso. I can barely breathe, and it is not something an inhaler will alleviate. The asthma is caused by a spasmed, locked rib cage that is constricting my lungs, diaphragm, and torso, making it difficult to breathe fully and oxygenate the entire body. The oxygen is only getting as far as my lung. This lack of oxygenation is further exacerbated by all the damned mucous in my mouth, nose, and entire respiratory tract--thanks to the fucking, hateful estrogen that is in my system. I had some fish oil, but that was tampered with over the holiday weekend as well. I keep going in deeper and deeper in debt while I routinely toss out a hundred bucks worth of tampered meds and supplements every month. On top of everything else, everywhere I am stalked by Amon-RA rapist pricks. There is just not anything nice I can say about those men. Not only was it a Nazi Amon-RA cult responsible for raping me, but for years now, I have noticed what creepy, warped males were in the cult. Rarely do I encounter females--they are either abusive swinger types or lost, abused, victimized types--think Cindy and Casey Anthony... To top it off, also, I now am being stalked by the dog Sirian types. As best as I can figure out, the dog Sirians have made an alliance with the Nazi/Amon-RA types in the past, but MAY currently be free. I don't know and I don't care. Racists of any type or stripe are the biggest turn-off in the world to me. Further, there vision of me as a celibate, crippled girl child saint makes me want to vomit. Sorry charlie--find some other crippled female lame to fit that bill. It ain't me. As long as i crippled and lame with this fucked up, mutilated body and this goddamned estrogen, I guarantee you, the only thing coming from me will be impotent rage. I am a MAN, and that is how I am creative, and that is how I love, and being forced to be a female destroys the best that is in me. I expect such stupidity from Amon-RA types, but i would hope for better from the dog Sirians--unless, of course, they are too enslaved into the MACHINE to be free enough to recognize and appreciate a free and genuinely holy spirit. I am sick to the point that I am unable to do any exercise--my legs are to weak to barely walk, much less exercise, and my brain is unable to bear the stimuli of reality for any length of time--I am walking around with "brain tumor syndrome". I do not know how much longer i can tolerate the hell that is my life. I am too sick to barely function--I can only move for a little while before I need to shut my eyes and rest. Need to do that now. God, I am miserable and suffering beyond all expectation. When does this hell end?

Sunday, November 27, 2011

MACHINE has doubled its efforts

MACHINE has doubled its efforts to enslave me. I am alive and mentally functional, though physically I am so sick and wracked with pain, that I wish i were knocked out, dead, anything, other than what I am. The MACHINE, and its Nazi minions are battering me so hard, because I am starting to remember certain thing---as a very young woman, I was viciously raped by Amon-RA devotees. Happened on at least two occasions. Memories are starting to come back, but I am too sick to string them together. Ideas and images are in my head, but too ill to present them. Anyway, Nazis are desperate. The Patriots of the world have set them back. Evil that is desperate is very dangerous. Ask the families of the twenty-odd dead Pakistanis. It was the goddamned Nazis of NATO planes which attacked those outfits--all trying to start the war they so desperately want. These evil Amon-RA cultists are everywhere--in every country, of every political and religious persuasion. This is their longed for time to destroy this world, and they are doing everything possible to succeed. The patriots of the world are everywhere trying to root out these rotten spiritual bastards, but it is an ongoing work. Everyone has to stay dili9gent, including me. I am thinking on things, but am too sick to write, but I hope that the psychics are picking things up, because it is too hard to communicate logically and rationally. I made a big mistake on Thanksgiving, when i went to my neighbors--I left my supplements and drugs at home. Every single one of them has been tampered with--I need to throw about a hundred dollars worth of stuff in the trash. I need to try and get me some new drugs--OTC pain killers, alcohol, etc. but i am too sick to drive. I woke up in such pain this morning that I took a vicodin within first hour of waking up. The pain was unbearable, from where they have cut on my shoulders and back. I need to go get some meds but I am too sick to drive. I did read the morning paper--nothing reallhy alarm tripping, unlike yesterday. I may be too sick to write for a while, but I still will read and think. Now, i go back and lay down and watch tv. only thing i can do in this condition.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Cut on badly last night

Cut on badly last night and completely non-functional today. I am missing so much back muscle now, that it is an effort to breath. I am all belly and boobs. I guess the cutting is to facilitate the excessive spinal fluid, but it only makes me sick and autistic to the point of psychosis. I have been walking around all day as if i am in a high fever. I tried to watch tv--no good. I tried to read a book--it was difficult hold the 900 page tome. I can feel the tension along my spinal vertebra and adjoining muscles--there is not enough left to live healthily. I don't know if it is good or bad guys doing the cutting, but it would be helpful if I cooperate. I am only going to cooperate if I am ABSOLUTELY SURE that it is the good guys looking to abduct me. However, this is difficult to discern when I am as sick as i am.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Well, this turkey day found me so drugged up

Well, this turkey day found me so drugged up that i am a fucking zombie. guess some people like me that way. i am their girl avatar that way or they can control me. could barely walk, and muscle backs were spasming. i think i am on risperdol, but not sure. did a little socializing for thanksgiving, but was very autistic and out of it. still, it was different, though i am not healthy or able to relate well. at some point, a man with an accent was talking to me, and i went into the autistic haze of not understanding a word he says--i do that twhen i am in an autistic state, and find it difficult to follow peoples conversation--too low, too high, heavy accent--even an accent with which i am familiar, like a strong southern twang. came home and watched tv. too drugged to do anything else. now its early bedtime. legs are dead, brain is dead, wish i were dead, but still I have to give thanks. not many people know how incredibly grateful this country should be that we dodge one catastropic terrorist act after another. but I know, and I give thanks to God for looking out over this country, and while my health and life really sucks, at least it is enough to contribute. Just wish i felt more human. Ps--I give thanks, not only that MY country is safe, but that the entire planet has so dodged a catastrophic, global event AND that so many of the alien sojurners among us have a place to call home. THANK YOU, GOD!!

Last night the MACHINE attempted to "blast" me

Last night the MACHINE attempted to "blast" me with the viral download that they use as a precursor to attempt full and successful invasion of one's brain and, ultimately, one's being. I recognize the download quite well now, since the excess female hormones, cause me to be dripping, sticky wet between my thighs. I know it is not pleasant to read about it--it sure isn't pleasant to experience it. In a way, though, I am lucky, because my unique hermaphroditic, intersexed physiology allows me to recognize clearly what is happening, whereas most men and women probably experience a noticeable but normal manifestation of un-triggered sexual arousal. The viral download also causes the severe autistic relation to reality and often I will start shaking my head, because my brain stem is too congested to function normally. Anyway, I was lying down, trying to sleep, knowing that I was fighting the MACHINE, when I felt a specifically directed blast in the right side of my brain. As a matter of fact, I instantly pinpointed the area that was blasted by an implant (it still is tender this morning). It was exactly where Michelangelo's Moses has a horn growing from his brains' right side. By feeling the left top side of my head, i can tell the corresponding left side is tender, too. However, I did not "feel" the blast on the left side as clearly as I felt it on the "right" side. The blast sensation was palpable and real. Now, I think any "horns" of Moses were caused by his genetic makeup, but now I am wondering if somehow the MACHINE is targeting certain areas of the brain, and either killing cells, or causing excessive cutaneous cell growth . I don't know. Once, the blast hit the right side of my brain, the intense pitch of the viral download stopped. Whatever brain structure is at this spot is key to the MACHINE's possession of a human being. Maybe, the genetic ability to "sprout horns" helps one to resist the MACHINE. I don't know enough about brain physiology to say--I can only report what I experience. This morning, my reads allowed me to identify more MACHINE-possessed individuals. Check out the below photo: The escorting police officer (at least he is wearing a vest that says "police") is of the Amon-RA cult. More troubling are a couple of congressional representatives that also trip off my intuitive counters of being controlled by the MACHINE. Rep. Mike Rogers of Michigan is currently in Beirut to "investigate" the spy leaks that led to numerous CIA assets detained, tortured, and probably killed. Bullshit. He is there to find out what the patriots know about who was responsible, and if possible, to cover for them. If you compare his photos, you can see the tell-tale elongated chin which appears in later photos, but not earlier ones. Barack Obama has the same marker, which is even more evident in his grandfather, Stanley Dunham's unnaturally elongated chin in some photos and not others. Sad to say (I was born there), the state of Michigan has a very entrenched satanic presence in offices of political power. I never say much about him, but Gerald Ford was probably one of the most vicious satanic presidents that we ever have had in office, but he didn't leave much of a power footprint. Anyway, what really burns me about Rep. Rogers is that he was so vocally strident that Pvt. Bradley Manning should be executed. Pvt. Manning was the soldier directly responsible for downloading and releasing confidential State Dept. cables to Wikileaks. However, Manning was just a small fish, a mouthy, arrogant, and GAY patsy(oh yeh, this was when the conservative wing of the KaBal was pushing back against the repeal of 'Don't ask, don't tell", and a gay patsy served multiple agendas). However, Rogers wasn't being an over-the-top patriot. Instead, he is part of the conspiracy that was REALLY responsible for the leaks. It was stars who ordered it, and bars which enabled it, and to protect the "big fish" in the scandal, Rogers wanted the hapless, stupid private to be shot, so that he would never speak--not even 40 years down the road. I thought about not revealing this, so that the real patriots on the ground could track Rogers contacts; however Amon-RA knows what I know, almost as soon as I think it, so there is little benefit in being silent. Another representative who I think is controlled by Amon-RA is Rep. Steve King of Iowa. I know nothing about this man or his politics--his face just jumped out of me when I was watching a video on Sorcha Faal's site, and i researched it a little further. That video probably has a couple more bona fide, hidden Nazis or occult types in it--I only have time to pursue the most compelling of imagery evidence.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Apparently, i blew it in the last post

Apparently, i blew it in the last post. if i am wrong, i will be the first to admit it. but i dont think so. I I still stand by everything I said about Louis Freeh. However, i didnt prove it well enough, nor could the psychics verify it. From what i am piecing together, Sirian psychics allied with "positive" Vatican hierarchs are helping to verify what i post. Something else has to come into play, because i put a lot of tenuous ideas out there. Unfortunatley, those Sirians are the one who want to seeme as a crippled female, because LOL, to them, that is their idea of holiness. You know i say it over and over again, but no one pays attenton. THE OPUS DDEI SPIRITUALITY, OR RATHER, LACK OF IT, MAKES ME SICK!!! I have had several encounters with opus dei people, and not one, either that I have met personally or viewed in the media, impresses me as ahving anything other than an infantile faith. they are the Pharisees that jesus warned against. They, and their spiritual ilk, the SLI, are the ones who threw me in jail. They are the ones who have made my life fucking hell with their fucking goddamned drug, AND I HATE YOU STUPID FUCKING SONS OF BITCHES. Today, I became temporarily paralzed, because they have got me on some goddamned psychotropic that has totally fucked up not only my brain, byut my motor neurons. even now, i can barely walk. forget bike riding. and my ass keeps getting bigger and bigger because the stupid goddamned fucks messed up with my lower back and glute muscles. So fucking eager to have a fucking female that they destroyed my healthy body to do so, and now i walk around with this huge fat ass, that i have to use to walk, because my healthy back muscles and alignment has been destroyed. However, I know that all my protestations dont mean shit to these 21st century torquemados. In their eyes, i am a female, and they "own" me and can do whatever they like to me. They LIKE crippled devotees, and every opus dei person i have ever met is a spiritual cripple--not a man jack or "girl" of them who have true Christian spirit. sorry to say it, but it is the truth. So did my contempt for opus dei unduly prejudice my opinion of louis freeh? I dont think so. I dont let my emotional feeling for anything interfere with my reason or intuition. I think that, last nite in my sleep I choked, when asked to provide positive proof, (and I probably got it somewhere, becuae i can remmeber the aritcle i read--i am just too fucked up to go back and look for it). I didn't choke on my own misgivings, however. i choke on the evil spirit of deception that is in me. I have read that the highest level of evil spirit is a religious one, and there is no doubt that Kolvenbach or Strong has put one in me. It is a miracle that i am not a David Koresh or rev. jim Jones. They got to me too late--after a strong rational filter had been installed in my mind through true education. however, as long as i am on these psychotropic durgs, i will be vulnerable to this operative evil spirit. small comffort that i wont be worth a damn in the real world either, so they dont get their girl avatar. small comfort if Penn State scandal gets whitewashed, or a war starts (oh yes, the Vatican which runs this country is back in the seat of power, and they want to start a middle East war---they don't care where or how--anything to get their paws on Jerusalem). Is Louis Freeh just a mind controlled patsy, who is brainwashed after he carries out order. This is very possible--which is how he might have eluded a powerful psychic scan. However, it is also possible that the psychic doing the scan wasn't that invested in digging deep. Ultimately, however, i blame myself. but there is no use kicking myself, when i can barely move. earlier today i was crawling on all fours to get to the toilet. My floors are filthy. Simple task, like sweeping floors take evertying i have. Today i did laundry, tomorrow i will grocery shop (heres hopig). for thanksgiving, i may go to a neighbor, but part of me dreads to go because i know i am too autistic to provide social company. however, it would be nice to eat someone else's cooking, and who knows? I may need to call on themsomeday, if i find myself completely paralyzed. So, I am not going to spend any more time on this opus dei thing. instead, all my energy goes into fighting and resisting their sick, warped vision of and for me. you may cripple me, you sons of bitches, but dont expect me to send any universal compassion your way. YOU ARE SICK, AND YOUR SPIRITUALITY IS SICK, AND YOU MAY CRIPPLE ME PHYSICALLY, BUT YOU WILL NEVER CRIPPLE ME SPIRITUALLY!!

Dreamed last night that I was unable to start a fire

Dreamed last night that I was unable to start a fire in the water heater of my house. Also, dreamed that my bicycle (sense of self and self-powered energy) was taken from me. The dream forecast my morning so far. I am struggling to even get up and move. I have popped every herbal testosterone supplement that I have, but still I feel like a centarian on her death bed, who has to be wheeled everywhere. The dream is telling me what I have been screaming at my "handlers" for months now. My body NEEDS TESTOSTERONE to function. Without it, I am autistically peripheral to reality, cranky and perpetually low energy. Mentally, I take shortcuts and don't do a thorough job in my research and presentation as I should. Right now, I am just waving off so many lines of interest that need pursuing. I just don't have the necessary energy to delve deeply into anything. So, I truly regret if my half baked musings slight anyone unfairly. However, there are certain subjects of which I have researched either topically or intuititively for a long time--such as Free or James Jones, and when there is a crunch going on, I spill out long held opinions without my normally careful nuance. There is so much going on, and I cannot even do my usual morning paper read--the brain does not have enough fuel to do sustained concentration for a couple or three hours. I am just looking to see if there is a fire that I need to help put out, and I am sorry but that is all I can do, even if it does feel to me that I am being unfair in the lack of substantiated presentation. No fires that I can see this morning, so I will force myself to get up and do some chores. Life is so difficult, that I can only do one thing at a time--instead of running multiple errands on a day trip. Just the thought of doing one simple task--my laundry--feels like climbing Mt. Everest--might as well get to it.

Monday, November 21, 2011

More half-baked musings

More half-baked musings that I might as well post, because I suspect that they have been pulled from the "ether", or whatever philosophical term is used to designate the contents of an individuals' mind--maybe collective unconscious. You know, my mind is being teased to pursue this train of thought, but I am really sick and need to stay on target. I have been heavily drugged all day, and unable to do much of anything, as I have practically no energy, and my brain is finding it difficult to make connections. I am suffering from the low IQ caused by lack of testosterone, and everything is so difficult. Still, I will push through the brain drain to get through to some of the insights gleaned today. The first news I read today that really got my blood boiling was that Louis Freeh was going to head the investigation into the Penn State sex scandals. Hah!! The Penn State sex scandals are mired in Amon-RA illuminati mind-control abuse, and Louis Freeh is one of the top-ranking Opus Dei/Amon RA leaders in this country. He has been on my radar for a LONG time--ever since I read a convincing article that it was Freeh, not Bill Clinton, nor Janet Reno, who was responsible for the debacle at Waco, TX (sorry--unable to cite the reference right now). He was an assistant deputy director of the FBI at the time, and when Koresh went rogue, Freeh took actions to ensure that Koresh never got a chance to tell his side of the story, and then later stonewalled an investigation into the event. For you see, the whole Branch Davidian cult was a CIA "black-ops" gone bad, and given what I know about the black ops people, I don't think it was cult's promiscuous sex or child abuse that bothered them. No, I think David Koresh broke free of his CIA handlers, and once that happened, there was nothing to be done, but destroy him and all evidence that could be used to implicate Opus Dei, "black-ops CIA", and maybe even Freeh himself. The name "Koresh" itself indicates the Amon-RA occult affiliations of the Branch Davidian cult. It literally means "Likeness or image of the sun". Amon-RA, of course, is a cult fixated on the sun. This was a name that Koresh legally adopted once he was regarded as a leader in the cult. His original name was some bland, Anglo generic that I cannot even remember. The other interesting point that I encountered regarding that name is that there is a prominent Pakistani with the surname, "Quresh" who is starting to make major, behind-the-scenes move in the top political circles of Pakistan. I ran across that little gem trying to figure out what was behind the scandal involving the current Pakistani ambassador, Haqqani. James Jones said that he carried a message smearing both Haqqani and the Pakistani president, Zardari, in their relationships with the Pakistan military. However James Jones is another rotten apple that I have had on my radar for a long time--a complete drone to the Faction 2 agenda. I was so glad when he resigned (?), from the administration, but it looks like he just took his mischief-making to a different level. Now, for those who have been reading these posts for over a year or so, you know my contempt for Zardari--he is a mind-controlled puppet of negative Faction 2, and I believe that he was in on the murder of his wife. However, he may be less of an Illuminati ideologue than some others might be. It was very interesting. The day after the alien and Nazi craft were neutralized on their Chinese desert grid, Zardari called for an emergency meeting with his generals. He probably was scared to death--always happy to do China's bidding, as long as he thought that the Bad Guys had that secret air base up their sleeves, but having second thoughts about putting Pakistan on the front line of a war, without guaranteed technological muscle to protect him and his cronies (I don't think he gives a damn about his country). Anyway, I am just speculating out loud, and I would only rate myself at about 70% accuracy. I hate being lazy in my research, and like to be more certain, before I throw out wild ideas, but I am too sick to pursue the confirmation I need. I can tell you, that it was after this meeting that Quresh starting making moves, resigning from his political party and hinting that he is about to make a big announcement on the 27th. I believe Quresh, who comes from a long line of Sufi notables, is Amon-RA "royalty", and that what is left of the Faction 2, Amon-RA cult, are hoping to replace Zardari with a man who has got a little more stomach for destroying his country than Zardari does. Haqqani is probably just a true diplomat, doing his job, attempting to resolve differences and pursuing peace, but again, I have not done my research into him, so I can not say so with the same level of conviction that I can that James Jones is a Faction 2 liar. You know, every time I think that we may yet avoid war with Pakistan, something like this happens. It seems that there are occult roaches under every rock we turn over. Every day I wake up and wonder who was "flipped" (as in switch) during the night, and worry about all the hot spots in the world. However, I have confidence that the patriots of the world (those who love their countries) will prevail, even on a day like today, when I am so drugged and low energy that I can barely move. One final comment: Interesting about Freeh being in charge of an ops that investigated Mafiosi who met at the local pizza parlor. I couldn't believe it when I read of how the ops was structured--even I, with no intelligence background, knew that it was flimsy in security. Sad to say, but it was probably all a set up, run by Freeh and/or his Opus Dei/AmonRA colleagues. I really feel sorry for any patriot who moves to fight terrorism in his own country, and ends up shafted by the agents for global evil who would destroy any country or person that gets in their way of complete and total slavery of the planet.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

My fears expressed in the last post

My fears expressed in the last post were right on target. Trying to interpret the confusing images of my dreams last night, have led me to conclude that the vampires of the Nazi-allied MACHINE minions, chased me all night, and nearly got me. I think the Black psychic community tried to help me, but either they weren't powerful enough, or I would not join them on a more fundamental level, so an alien faction came to my aid--probably the dog Sirians, though honestly I cannot say for sure. It is a little concerning to me, that I am so helpless to defend myself in my dream time astral travels. I am making decisions that I am not sure that I would make in real life. I mean, I get it--that becoming a Black man would be a major reorientation of my life, but is that my fear, or just my reluctance to accept responsibility--and especially the responsibility of an identity within a community. After the painful rejection by others and forced solitude, that was my experience for most of my early life, I am more comfortable being alone than in community. Actually, what I really want is a relationship with a woman, who helps to meet my social needs, but that is not going to happen. It would be nice if I could just feel at home in a community setting, but that is not going to happen, either. Yet, I cannot go it alone--I will die. I would have died last night, had I not been assisted. Even though I survived the night, today has been a really lousy day. I woke up with so much estrogen in my system (the dog Sirians prefer me as a female), that I was low energy all day. On top of that, I am suffering with a lot of nerve pain, and fluid pressure in my legs. Still, that wasn't the worst of it. THE AMON-RA CULT HAS BEEN ON MY TAIL ALL DAY! I know now that it is a mistake to reciprocate kindness to one of their devotees. They turn my compassion into a weapon to be used against me. I feel like a teenage draftee of the Vietnam war, torn by the directive to shoot a little child walking purposefully to the camp, because the VC used them as suicide bombers. I cannot help but feel sorry for so many of these Amon-RA types. So many of them have the weakest, lowest sense of self that I have ever encountered. However, they know how to use my compassion for them, against me. So, I am going to have to be vigilant against any kindness. Today, however, they went all out--I mean, it is crazy what those stupid schmucks do to me--it almost is like watching a horror film--and there is no doubt in my mind that they know exactly what they are doing--they have been at this mind control thing for a long time. The bizarre encounters of today were set up by my bike ride--first one in a couple of days. Now it would be a fair question to ask me why I continue to ride my bike when these Amon-RA vultures just flock all over me. The answer is easy--it is the only hysical expercise that I can do. My legs are too neuropathically dead to even walk, up and down the alley, a block at a time, as I used to do. I'm trying desperately to keep the motor neurons in my legs alive, even though the viral download is killing them by the thousands. I also have a great need of fresh air and nature. It feels so good to me, to get out, and breathe fresh air, and look at the trees, water, sky, and mountains. To be honest, I am not getting enough outside time, as I really need. Unfortunately, on days like today, I also have to put up with the sinister presence and actions of the Amon-RA types. I wish I could explain the yucky spirit that these poor, pathetic sobs have. Yet there they were sitting and standing around in twos and threes--just staring at me in in a dead but coercive fashion. I expected them to any minute, like the walking dead, start lurching walk to me, with arms out, to eat my flesh. Then there was the bizarre incident when a man draped himself across a tree, like he was making love to it. Poor tree--to be mauled by such a creep. The worst thing though, was that the man was wearing a small white toboggan, which is what I wear when I need a hat. Was it my hat? If so, did it drop from my basket while I biked, or did they swipe it from my home. For I o believe that they are able to access my home. On my front porch today, I saw someone had shuttered my mailbox, and tampered with the hidden key to my basement lock, which I had taped under a porch table. It was as if they were saying, "We can fuck with you any time that we want". I think that a big part of their mind control is to paralyze the victim with the fear that repeated stalking causes. Still, that is not the worst thing that they did--the absolute worst was getting electromagnetically zapped. Now, when I bike, the viral download is often released, which is where I run into a lot of problems, because I don't have enough testosterone in my system to keep going, when that download hits. So, sure enought, I had major energy problems during my bike ride, but as I was entering my final stretch, an Amon-RA woman ambushed me from the street above and behind the bike path. However, though she called out, "on your left", she stayed behind me, and zapped me big time. I knew immediately, because of the nerve weakness that instantly paralyzed me, and because my mind went nearly psychotic to the point I wasn't in reality. However, thank God, I was in reality enough to veer off the path, when she deliberately put her bike in front of me and braked! She wanted me to crash into her! Why? More mind game bullshit. Either I was supposed to feel guilty for "hurting" her once I crashed, or the two bikers, who came immediately upon the scene were supposed to "save me". All bullshit mind games--and all because I accepted an act of kindness from a stranger (swapping queue numbers yesterday), and felt sorry for her. Anyway, somehow I got home, but I was so sick I couldn't even get my bike to the bottom of the stairwell to lock it up in the basement. Instead, I just pulled it into my kitchen. Then I lost an entire afternoon--I was so sick with nausea, headache, and the viral download zap that all I did was sleep--waking up fitfully, ever so often to see such instructional and worthwhile TV programs, as "The Big Hairy Biker" recipe for beer-battered alligator meat! Yuck!! Anyway, it took me hours to get rid of that fucked up, viral feeling. Usually, it takes an hour or two--this time the download was so massive, it took four or more hours. Anyway, a little scary that the Amon-RA types will go as far as they do, but really I am not so much afraid of them, as disgusted with myself, for once again, getting hooked into the compassionate response bit. Those people are sick and lost souls, and they have got their mind control techniques down to an art. I have to quit feeling sorry for those brainwashed sickos, because my compassion is nothing to them, but a big, fat hook, from which to swing me, until I am dead.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

I just stepped outside to get

I just stepped outside to get a novel that I am reading from my truck, and looking up in the sky, I see the synchronized lights dancing in a pattern above my house. I have seen those patterned lights before, and maybe I am wrong, but I don't trust them. To me, they are indicative of the MACHINE. I have noticed that most UFO's don't move in strict, circumscribed patterns, but you would expect such behavior from something controlled by the MACHINE. I hope that I didn't make a major mistake earlier today, when I went to the pharmacy. I was sitting outside, reading my book, and a woman pulled up in her car, and asked if I wanted an earlier queue number. Well, I was resigned to the thought of waiting for 40 minutes or so, and thus I was happy to take the number she offered me. When our fingers touched, there was an electric spark that went through the exchange. Well, about 20 minutes later, she showed up again, and told me that she was going to wait for her meds to be ready (she had been told about two hours). She talked with me briefly, but I tried to ignore her. For I had her pegged as an Amon-RA devotee, and the less I deal with them the better. Still, I could not help but feel compassion for her. The woman literally had no sense of self, no center. My guess is that she has been abused from a very young age, and she never developed a sense of self. She was eagerly trying to get my attention, like a groupie does a guru. It was really sad and pathetic, and I told myself, "you know, I have to try to do something to try to free these Amon-RA people", but yet I remained wary. I know that helpless, needy, clinging woman would stick a knife in my back without a second's hesitation, were she told to do so. To make my matters worse, they have a key to my truck. Twice now, I have found my truck door cracked open, and when I get inside, there is so much psychotropic that I start going crazy--shaking my head and trying to stay in reality. It is like some kind of metamphetamine--only worse, on account of my autism. It is dangerous, and I can't believe that they are so goddamned stupid as to put that stuff in my truck, but they do. Anyway, I need to be careful for that is how I got caught before--feeling sorry for my mother, and wanting to help her, which led to a night of abduction hell. I am wondering if the whole scenario was a plant, or if even the inadvertent touch, is going to be used in some kind of black magic ritual (I gave her my original queue number, so she has something I have touched). You know, a couple of years ago, I would have said that it was crazy to even think this way, but I know too much, now. Well, I am being abducted every night anyway, so I will just hope and pray for the best.

Apparently, the patriots are preparing

Apparently, the patriots are preparing for yet another assault. I try to keep an intuitive eye out for occult dates. Upcoming is 11/22 (JFK'assassination, which basically inaugurated the "coming out" party for the NWO KaBal). There also is a partial solar eclipse happening after the Thanksgiving holiday. Sigh. No rest for the weary. I am very weary. My house is a wreck, and so is my health. I dreamed last night that I was Dietrich Bonhoeffer, the Lutheran pastor who fought back against Hitler and the Nazis, and ended up incarcerated and executed. If you read Bonhoeffer's writings, you realize what a lonely fellow he was--first his beloved homeland fell into the grip of thugs hellbent on destruction, and then he chose to proactively resist in the political sphere, while most of his Christian peers went along with the Third Reich. It is fair to say that I feel like a prisoner of war. I was badly abused last night. I woke up with my shoulders and back aching from whatever the Amon-RA group did to it. I also am suffering from vaginal AND anal burning and pain. I have experienced this before, but never to such an extent. What it means is that the Amon-RA torturers are using mechanical vaginal penetration in an attempt to get me to orgasm to the MACHINE, so that they can override my neurological pathways, and completely mind control me. My poor genitals. I think they cut some more on them, too. It doesn't matter though. They will not succeed. However, I do feel very demoralized and low energy, so that it takes so much effort to try to figure out what is the KaBal's next move. It doesn't help that I am truly ill on whatever drugs they are forcing on me. I can only work for a couple of hours at at time, and then the nausea and fatigue hits. I don't have enough testosterone to really work the problem as I need to, but I pray that grace will come through. In the meantime, I will say that, yes indeed, I think another catastrophic event is scheduled for next week. I also want to say that a few nights ago, I dreamed of another planet in the solar system. Now, I see some waves coming through on this from "Captain Bill" who channels "Andromedans". I don't fully trust that channel, but his most recent posting corroborates a dream I had, in which a large, habitable Earth-like planet was in the system. Now, the question is, are those good guys or bad guys on that planet? Being cynical, I tend to lean towards the latter interpretation. Besides, "Niburu" was reported destroyed by credible sources, and yet, we still encounter major alien intervention--which especially seems to favor the Chinese. Is there another "White Dragon" planet out there? Let's not forget that some of the Egyptian Pharoah's (especially at the time of the Theban uprising--the time of chaos, looked very Asian--I am thinking of Ahmose I--if memory serves). You know, I never called the dragon planet that was destroyed, "Nibiru". I always called it "Planet X". I wonder if the planet in my dreams was the real Nibiru, or if maybe my concerns are exaggerated, and it really is a Pleidian towalong, brought in to save our solar system (aaaah, if I had a dollar for every time I read of "self-proclaimed Pleidians coming to the rescue....). I know that they are out there, but I doubt that they can intervene to the level that we would like. So, am I worried about everything going on out there? Yes and no? I trust in grace to help me uncover what needs to be revealed. I especially trust in grace, when I am so sick that I cannot maintain sustained concentration, and that is where I am at right now. God help me.

Friday, November 18, 2011

I didnt even get four hours of productive time

I didnt even get four hours of productive time--so very sick day is completely nonfunctional. fantasizng about blowing my brains out. probably on psychotropics. in a lot of pain in ears and nerves. too sick to do much more than take pills to try to cope with pain. was out of bread and tortillas so forced myself to drive a couple of miles to grocery store. should not have driven--was psychotic and not in raeality. still am not--cant watch tv---cant see images pop up. freak me out. i am beginning to understand that ALL sirians are under the domination of reptiles. they may hate them, but they still are programmmed to obey them. anyway, this is a theory i am kicking around. not positive. i do fear that our skies are being sprayed with some kind of molecular globules that nest in trees. these globules may sparkle under certain conditions. these sparkling globules can be used to amplify the harmonic frequency that opens reptile star gates. unable to assist much in resistance. so drugged, hormonally derpived, and mutilated in body that all i have done is spent day in bed sleeping. too sick to wathc much t v. i was abducted by dog sirians last nite. they cut on me. amazing to me that they actually thin all the suffering i endured at their hands that i would have anything to do with them. bedtime

"Just one more morning I had to wake up with the blues"

"Just one more morning I had to wake up with the blues"---barely able to drag myself from the bed, completely overwhelmed with depression and the inability to relate to and with reality. Oh yeh, the goddamned religionists are pouring on the female hormones, and I am so fucked up that I can't fight back, but only stumble through life and sleep. House is a filthy mess, and as a matter of fact, washing dishes for the first timein two weeks is going to be a top priority today. cant live in a house this filthy--but in a way reflective of my being. i can 't live in this hateful, miserable female body from which i am so alienated that i no longer even feel it. Of course that is what the religionists want--an alienated female being to lead future generations of psychologically dependent beings down a spirituality of immaturity and enslavement. Oh, and in case I am not clear, I mean the Opus Dei/Amon RA cultists as the sorry assed cultists who make my life miserable. Between this mutilated body which is not capable of true being in the world, and the viral download, and the goddamned hateful female hormones, I can barely function. I only have about four hours of a day in which to get anything done. Chores are most important right now. Again can on ly shout out to those who expect me to be a female---get your fucking heads out 0of your fucking asses and look how fucking miserable and unproductive I am--it is the fucking goddamned evil spirit of lie and deception that misleads you and imprisons me. FUCK AMON RA, AND FUCK ITS OPUS DEI/JESUIT/RELIGIONIST vision of the futyure. All you people following that bullshit lie--get a grip on reality, life, and a sens of manhood/womanhood. As for me, I wonder how much longer I am going to be dominated by evil spirits in my sleep?

Thursday, November 17, 2011

I guess the Nazis are out

I guess the Nazis are out (all the spin about what the chinese photos were about--dead giveway), but unfortunatley for me, the "nice" Amon RA types hovering about me. sons of bitches dont get it. i keep trying to tell them taht i am not female, that the fucking drugs they fucking shove down my fucking throat are destrying me. cant stand on own two feet. too sick to watch tv. eyes cant process info. house a fmess . i had a bout four productive hours. read my morning paper, went for a bike ride, and spent rrest of day whishing i were dead. so fucking miserable, would rather be dead. instead a bunch of ninnies want me to be their girl avatar. FUCK ALL OF YOU STUPID ASSES. YOU DON'T GET IT, DEPTIET ALL MY BEST EFFORTS. bed now. hope towmoorrow is better

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Drugged to the point of somnolence

Drugged to the point of somnolence all day. Can barely move without bumping into walls. Can't watch TV without falling asleep. I couldn't even go for a bike ride today. Too sick to care much about anything, though I don't think i am on lithium. Lithium gives me mood swings and fills me with anger. I am so drugged up that I dont have any anger. I dont have any feeling whatsoever. I have to say that I dont think theres anything wrong with my anger. It is a justified righteous anger--and I doubt most people could get thru the hell that is my every day life without being homicidal (men) or suicidal (women), for the drugs totally strip me of my humanity. Nobody likes that. I compromise. get mad, when i have the energy and let it go. too sick to have any anger today. just want day to be over and sleep.

Am I on fucking lithium again?

Am I on fucking lithium again? I am experiencing the familiar brain rushes of lithium. cant notice feeling any worse because i feel so bad all the fucking time. I am constantly nauseated. Now, on top of everything else, my hip and pelvis is pulling out due to all the constant, locked spasms my body endures. It almost makes me laugh when I read the deliberately placed story about the "Munchkin who died". If you want to make me afraid, you pieces of shit, then what you need to do is keep me alive, because the kind of pain and misery, I am in, I would rather be the dead Munchkin!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

I do need to apologize

I do need to apologize for the erroneous thinking, dream interpretation, and optimism found in the most recent couple of posts. Where do I start?

Let me begin by saying that I read a story recently about optimistic people having a different brain than others. I wondered, "was the high-octane optimism of my pre-Nazi, adult years the result of my brain structure?" Then the next thought was, "well then, since 2004, my brain has changed!". Yes, I used to be a hard-core optimist, but since being thrown in jail, a searing violation that originated because I trusted religious monks, I have lost my optimism. Now, I always think about the worst possible outcome of any situation. Yep, my brain has definitely changed. But then, there are the occasional lapses back into the world of sunny optimism, and that is what happened to me over the past two days.

You see, my intuition of something being terribly wrong, of Nazis once more pre-eminent in world and national affairs, was right on target. It just took me a while to figure it out, because I was so happy that Earth had been spared the Elenin "ELE"(extinction level event) disaster. I fundamentally misjudged the photos from the Chinese desert. I had a couple of different hypotheses, but neither of them applied. What those photos really indicated were live alien bases in the China desert. I think the one of the white lines is a stargate mechanism. Watching a show today on pyramids, I saw the same tell-tale patterned lines, which underlined a destroyed pyramid (it was the pyramid at Abu Rawash--I hope I got that right). More frightening to me is the circular grid with little oblong gashes dotting the landscape, for I believe those oblongs indicate a slew of hangars, and that in each of those hangars are one or more alien or Nazi reverse-engineered craft, ready to be released into the air, to wreak aerial destruction on this planet.

Which aliens are these? Actually, they left their trademark "placa". Rotate the image 25% (as it appears in most MSM images), and you will see the familiar (by now) teepeed A or V. Yes, once again, devotees of Amon-RA have terrorized the planet. I couldn't figure out why it was so important for Basiago to be discredited, but the poor guy just disclosed his revelation about Barack Obama being on Mars at the wrong time.

You see, evil is not a monolith. Factions separate into even smaller factions. There is not one "Amon-RA cult, but multiples. For the purpose of this post, I am going to break it down to specifically two, though I think there are others. I have previously termed these two Amon-RA cults, a liberal Faction 2 and a conservative Faction 2. The liberal Faction 2 is the Opus Dei/Jesuit, "cat" or occult Arab (Kurds, some Syriacs and some Iranians) devotees. I would also include the Nation of Islam, Tall Whites ("Amakelites"), Maurice Strong, and George Soros in this faction. Now, one word of caution--it is very possible that in some places, specifically in the Middle East, that very low-level devotees may not know the full extent of the evil of this cult. They are just dimly following a tradition that has been passed down in their families for centuries. This liberal Faction 2 is not racist--as a matter of fact, under the occult tutelage of Hans Kolvenbach in Lebanon, the Dunham (Obama) family was cultivated into a position of prominence within the cult.

The conservative branch of Faction 2 are what I call the Nazis. These are "yellow" or "cat" Sirians who originally settled in Mesopotamia. However, after the fall of the Tower of Babel/"Elohim" event, they emigrated to Europe--notably Germany, but also Austria, Hungary, and parts of Poland,Romania, and neighboring countries. What was the "Tower of Babel/Elohim" event? I suspect that it was a successful "Elenin event"--that reptilian stargates were opened, and reptilian invaders successfully landed on 3D Earth, destroying the known civilization. The reptiles were not on 3D Earth for long, but the yellow Sirians emigrated anyway, and having experienced the genetic reptilian incursion, they became obsessed with racial purity, which of course, culminated in the Nazis and eugenics. Included in this conservative branch of Faction 2 are not only occult Germans, but also the European freemasons, including the Knights Templar, and their Mormon spin-offs. The reason that Major Ed Dames was "bagging" Basagio, is because the former is a Nazi, an Amon-RA devotee who believes in the purity of the Aryan race. Obama probably DID go to Mars as a member of the (liberal) Faction 2 elite, and was propped up into the Presidency, for which he was a total failure, as far as successfully executing the hidden Amon-RA agenda. So now, the Nazis are busy re-writing history, disclaiming and disavowing any connection to the Black and incompetent puppet of the Amon-RA Faction 2. (Oh, by the way, Faction 1 concurred with Obama's selection/election, as well).

Now, a few other points. At least some of the "dog" or red Sirians have allied themselves with the Nazis. As a matter of fact, I think they have their own extinction level event plans for the planet. However, because I am dealing with speculation and theory, it is important that I maintain a tight focus, because too many hypotheticals makes reasoning very sloppy. Besides, right now the crisis is centered around the Nazi threat. I will deal with other threats as they arise. This IS a real and immediate crisis. The "Good Guys" of the planet effectively are blackmailed into capitulation to the Nazi agenda. Not only have the Nazis derailed all the positive plans that the "Terran patriots" (I have to come up with a more inclusive term, because a lot of politicos worldwide were in on this) painstakingly developed, but personally speaking, it is not pleasant being stalked by Nazis all along the bike trail. They have got a mean or thuggish spirit about them, though sometimes, they can look very respectable. In the past, I have talked of being stalked by Amon-RA types who remind me of law-enforcement. They have that look. Jerry Sandusky is an Amon-RA devotee (look at the flat nose bridge--that is because the MACHINE has elongated his cranium). Sexual abuse of children is rampant in this cult because like all evil cults, it relies on traumatizing the brain in order to exact blind obedience from its followers. It makes me sick to see Sandusky strutting about, but I had better get used to it. I fear a whole heap load of discouragement coming down the pike. So much for optimism.

Still, I have hope that the patriots of the planet will prevail--just not anytime soon. I figured out how I was misinterpreting my dream. I had thought that it was Hillary Clinton forbidding me to communicate with Salusa, because in my dream I saw my mother, and occasionally I project my mother onto Hillary. However, I was wrong. The mother image stood for the negative mother--the "Mother Church" which has sold me out on multiple occasions even though I no longer consider myself an adherent (and by the way, there ARE a lot of good people in the Catholic Church--I just happened to run into some really evil monsters). It also stood for my own personal mother, who, thanks to her husband, currently is affiliated with Amon-RA. I suppose it could represent a Hillary who has capitulated to the Nazis. As a condition, she may have agreed that I would no longer have communication with Salusa. Anyway, last night the Nazis succeeded in putting some goddamned implants in my brain that, I suspect, will ground me from all extradimensional flying. They fucking hurt like hell, and between that and the excessive fluid on my brain stem, I feel like shit all the time--with constant head pains and migraines. My eyeballs are frozen, and I am becoming more neurologically impaired, from not being able to walk to having difficulty swallowing. Still, I am a stubborn cuss. I will not serve the Nazis or the Nazi agenda. Never.

A quick follow-up post

A quick follow-up post--something "feels" very wrong, and I am not an advocate of any agenda except those that benefit my fellow humans and my country. I cannot get a solid grasp or understanding of the situation, but I know that the Nazis are back on top--the bona fide Nazis. You know, I recognize those Nazis, because I have encountered them before. They, along with their "dog" Sirian counterparts, were the ones responsible for putting implants in my body, removing all my eggs, and taking them to Mars, were they quickened and "cultivated" to become Brown slaves to the White Nazis, who wanted to use them as psychic foils for reptiles. They are also the ones who want me to be the "crippled girl" avatar.

This faction seeks to destroy the world as we know it, as surely as the Elenin project did. Salusa hoped to resurrect a new humanity with Africa as the centerpoint. These Nazis have the exact same destructive end in mind for Planet Earth. It's just that their hope for the future lies in keeping a small, eugenically "pure" (i.e., White only), contingent alive, initially on Mars.

You know, I sensed that Andrew Basagio is telling the truth, so I was surprised that Ed Dames, whom he identified as a teacher, went on Coast 2 Coast to repudiate Basagio's claim. I had identified Dames as part of the Nazi faction long ago--the same Nazi KaBal that warned us against Elenin. Why? Not because they were appalled at the destruction of the Earth, but because the reconstruction and new "God consciousness" would not be controlled by them, but by the Salusa/Elenin agenda. Now, I have not listened to everything that Basagio has to say, and I am certain that there are inaccuracies with which I would disagree, but I know that Ed Dames was flat out dissembling in his refutation of Basagio. Listen to the interview for yourself:

and you can discern how lame his repudiation is--he attempts to divert attention away from the thesis, by bringing in irrelevant concepts such as "tranpersonalism". I guess that even occult types are forbidden to outright lie. I really wasn't very interested in the latest Basagio account, because I learned long ago that yes, there is a human colony on Mars. Because the whole Mars subject causes pain to me, as the biological mother of human slaves born on Mars, I was just going to skip reading about his most recent allegations. After all, Barack Obama is toast--it doesn't really matter whether or not he has been to Mars. However, even before Dames, I read a post that was a high-level, sophisticated, disinformation smear against Basagio's most recent claims. Again, whenever that happens against anybody--Salusa, Basagio, or anyone else--I pay attention, and dig deeper. The next extinction level event will not hope to resurrect the future of humanity, in a primitive African setting. Instead, Blacks and Browns will be slaves (the Greys), while a few, pure Whites set out to explore the cosmos, starting with the colony on Mars.

People, can't you see how we are being played, victimized, by one faction or another? I guess that I am not so angry at Salusa, because I have always tried to maintain a critical perspective and filter on everything/everyone that I encounter. I never completely trusted Salusa, so I am not disappointed to learn that he was fooling us the entire time. I AM capable of being fooled, but I trust that God, most specifically the Holy Spirit of God, will lead me right. I do believe that humanity has a future, I do believe that we can get through 2012 without an extinction level event, but who and what do I precisely trust? I can only answer this on a day-by day, case-by-case basis. I admit I could be wrong about anything. However, I know when my intuition is warning me--and right now, the Nazis are rejoicing over how everything in the world is going their way. So, no, I do not feel comfortable regarding the current events situation right now.

I am slowly trying to piece together

I am slowly trying to piece together what is going on in my 3D (or extradimensional) life. This is not easy, and so much of it has to do with dream interpretation, which of course can be analyzed from a whole slew of levels and perspectives. However, basically I think that I have been forbidden to communicate with Salusa, who is in extreme disfavor right now, because of the whole Elenin incident. That order comes "from the top", for I think Hillary Clinton is giving the order. Now consciously, this would pose a conflict for me, because just when everybody is "hating on" Salusa, I actually have a degree of sympathy for him--just as I have a degree of sympathy for all these aliens. I mean, for years, so many were "loving on" him, while I remained highly skeptical. I do not shift allegiances or regards easily.

I do believe that Salusa lied to us, about the Elenin incident. I also believe that he was hoping to bring some kind of good from it. Now, I understand that bringing good from the complete destruction of the northern hemisphere, 1/3rd of our lands and oceans, does not inspire confidence or loyalty. However, at this point, from where I stand, I DON'T TRUST ANY OF THE ALIENS, including the humanoid Sirians, with their controlling vibes. I think that each alien faction is pursuing their own self-interested agenda, and that at times, some or all of them, are pursuing the agenda of the MACHINE.

So what I do is gather information from all sides, so that I can better discern what is the truth and what is the lie. Right now, the dog Sirians are riding high, but guess what? I don't trust them any more not to destroy our planet to serve their agenda, than Salusa now has demonstrated in his culpability. I would like to keep lines of communication open with Salusa, because if, for nothing else, he can inform me of the hidden agendas of the dog Sirians--which I do believe that they have.

Now ultimately, in a perfect world, I would like to see the dog and cat Sirians reconcile their differences and mutual contempt, and work with us humans in a respectful partnership, so that all parties come away with a "win". If Salusa is enslaved to the MACHINE, I would attempt to free him the same way that I have attempted to free the "dog" Sirians. I just feel that I do not have the whole story of the Salusa "betrayal", and it bothers me that I am prevented from getting the whole truth.

How would I get at his side of the truth? Well, first of all, by talking to him (extradimensionally)--which has been forbidden. I also would attempt to read between the lines of his channeled posts. So, I did a search for his most recent channeling, and it is not him! I know Salusa's style, and this is a disinformation artist which has him proclaiming allegiance to Barack Obama! Bullshit. Obama is completely out of the picture now, and probably will be publicly tried and convicted in the years to come, so whoever is channeling through the Salusa brand wants to sow further lies and distrust regarding his character. I distrust disinformation artists of all types. Why smear Salusa? Well, my suspicion is so that we won't believe him should he attempt to reveal information harmful to the dog Sirian agenda.

I will tell you what my initial hunch is--and I could be wrong. Right now, through 2012, this planet is slated for an extinction level event--and all of the aliens visiting us, both hope to take advantage of that, AND assist us in the reconstruction of a new civilization of the new 26,0000 year epoch. The one exception could be (a faction of) the Pleidians, but they are elusive to find--and it is confusing, because I think some Sirians call themselves Pleidians.

However, this new civilization would be one that would "re-invent the wheel", so to speak. I think these alien factions are all trying to get "dibs" on this reconstruction of the "New Age", just like they are trying to get "dibs" on me. The dog Sirians see me as a crippled female, and Salusa sees me as a Black man. Well, another reason I want to keep the lines of communication open with Salusa, is that I would much rather be a Black man than a crippled female.

As I write this post, there is no doubt in my mind that the dog Sirians--and their Opus Dei/Jesuit minions are back on top, for I am suffering the same mental and physical handicaps that I did under their control years ago. So, I am in constant pain, and literally find it difficult to walk. The legs have both the nerve sensation of wanting to run and being completely dead at the same time. I know what is happening--it has happened before. My leg muscles are literally dying on my body--all the better to be the crippled girl the Sirians want so badly. I used to be able to persevere in exercise, but I no longer can. Yes, indeed, I am on my way to being the crippled female that these Sirians so much admire.

I also am suffering the same effects of brain stem strangulation, severe autism, and am walking around with the symptoms of someone who has a brain tumor. My house is a complete mess, as I can barely function, and sitting at my computer has become nearly intolerable, as my legs are itching with the throes of nerve death, as I write this, and I keep shaking my head, involuntarily, in order to get a clear enough mind to write.

Of course, I could be "hooked" by the lies of Salusa. I know that I am capable of being hoodwinked, because I have been in the past. However, my dreams seem to indicate otherwise. I know that my dreams can be manipulated, and so am wary, but overall, I get the impression that I don't know the full story of what went down with the Elenin event, and until I get it, my naturally curious mind will want to pursue and uncover the full truth.

However, I have been forbidden to communicate with Salusa. Consciously, I am very much into respecting the chain of command, especially when given by someone who I respect and trust, in this case, Hillary Clinton. However, I have ascertained over the years, that my unconscious is much less constrained, and my guess is that I am rebelling--though to be honest, I do not know if for good or ill. For I cannot truly gauge what is going on, when all I have to go on are dreams and disinformation posts.

Nothing for it, but to plug away, little by little, until the truth slowly, painfully reveals itself, and in my case--the emphasis is on the word, "pain", for I am in a period where, once again, life is miserable to the point of hatefulness.

There is deception and deceit all around, and I just want to get to the truth, which is very hard to do in my condition, and sadly, I don't see any hope of improvement in the near future.

Monday, November 14, 2011

So sick all day today and yesterday evening

So sick all day today and yesterday evening that I am not functioning well. I am trying to get up the oomph to go for a little bike ride. The weather is gorgeous and my knees are swollen with all the excess fluid of the virus. It would do them good to get moving, and release some of that fluid. My face has been swollen with excess fluid for two days, my eyes are hard and swollen, and my teeth are all scrunched in my mouth, so that all the excess fluid fills my expanded cheek flesh. I have lost all nerve sensation in my inner cheeks. I hate seeing my face and eyes when I look like this, but I have no control over it. If I had a little testosterone, I might be able to get a little extra energy, but without it, there is not much I can do but lay around.

Interesting things are going on, though. Those photos of alien landing strips in China, that the MSM is splashing all over the US Internet and news, indicate that the State Dept and military realize the enormity of the potential threat, and are tipping their hand that whatever it takes, those landing strips need to disappear. I am too sick to venture forth a hypothesis, though I have a few ideas. Maybe later. What I really hope is that our diplomats, and those of China, now in Hawaii, can reach a mutually agreed understanding.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

11/11/11 has come and gone

11/11/11 has come and gone, and I am glad that some people have felt liberated from long standing bondages during the transition, but alas, I do not share the joy. A couple of nights ago, after reading that Rayelan Allan had had a healing and transformative experience, I dreamed that I went to different doctors and nurses how to get rid of the "mark of the Beast" from my left hand. You see, despite the freedom of my will which clings to God consciously, unconsciously I am bound by the evil spirit of slavery to the MACHINE-RA. Or maybe, a better way to say it would be that an evil spirit of some type (deception?) keeps me enslaved to the MACHINE. I have had evil spirits expelled through grace before, and know the signs--the loud booming or cracking noise, the burning sensation (when it is removed through the intermediary of holy and healing laying on of hands), and the feeling of freedom and joy that comes afterward. Having experienced all of the above, I even know the process of moving towards the act of grace that releases, redeems and restores one's freedom of spirit to a elevated and original level. However, I find most movements towards grace blocked or hindered by the never ending drugs and hormonal deprivations that I encounter. I find it nearly impossible to get into a contemplative state, and I feel so yucky and low energy that I cannot rouse enough energy to stir the spiritual flow within me. The MACHINE, the vampires (more on that later), and the Opus Dei/Jesuit religious parasites will never admit that I am spiritually, hormonally, emotionally, mentally, and energetically, a man, and thus need and respond to a vigorous and extroverted energetic spiritual flow. Yes, contemplation is ultimately passive, but in an ACTIVE mode, and my masculine, active mode of energy flow is being blocked by a bunch of immature, fundamentalist brats.

It is funny in a way (but more sad than funny on a deeper level), that when I sought to fit into the ministerial life of the Church, in the way that corresponded to my deepest self-identity and gifts, I was harshly rejected, because as a woman, I could not represent Jesus Christ. Of course, this warped and fundamentalist view misses the whole point of the holy personhood of the individual, and yet it still is operative in my life. Now, these same religious zealots and fundamentalists are quite certain that the upcoming epoch is going to be permeated by the spirit of the Divine Feminine (which I think is likely true), and they are looking to "fashion" (in an unholy way), the avatar to inaugurate this age, and since the new paradigm focuses on the feminine, why, of course, it must be a female body which represents this Divine Feminine! I lose out both ways--because the fullness of my being cannot be contained by stereotypes regarding one gender or another--it does not matter to me, whether someone thinks a particular gender status to be subordinate or exalted. Anybody who even thinks in those terms is not relating to me as a Person, created and graced in the image of the likeness of God, whether or not their deepest allegiance and conviction believes God to be more masculine or feminine. The Judeo-Christian tradition of God is overwhelmingly masculine or patriarchal, though of course the most honest thinkers and mystics always acknowledge that God is beyond any all-encompassing attribute (such as gender) or Name. Ultimately, those made in that same likeness share that same iconoclastic status of an identity ultimately beyond static definition, though as mortal, finite creatures in a dualistic world, we are much more constrained in our self-identity by the parameters bestowed on us by our biological, social, and cultural conditions.

The most important objective to holiness in this plane of existence, is just to be true to your own self. As an intersexed hermaphroditic being, I lived my life that way. Thus, I was a lesbian, because my self needs a partner, and that partner needs to be my complement, a woman. I sought jobs and vocations that would make good use of the (admittedly masculine) gifts and temperment which were vesseled within a female body. Needless to say, affirming my iconoclastic personhood in a dualistic world resulted in a lot of rejection and misunderstanding. However, I was okay with that, as long as I could claim my own identity, my sense of being me.

I still struggle to claim my own identity, even though the last few years has seen the forces of evil do everything in their power to rob me of it--whether by physical incarceration, chemical castration, or most recently, hormonal abuse and displacement.

My sense of self is more masculine than feminine. I am most alive--spiritually, physically, intellectually, and emotionally, when I have enough testosterone to fuel my brain. Now, however I am force fed female hormones which leave me depressed, low energy, and passive at best, and autistically handicapped, with brain and language skill interference at worst. Sometimes, I am on high estrogen, but most recently I have been force fed pregnancy hormones, and am suffering from all the excess saliva and flatulence that so many pregnant woman endure. I never feel well, healthy or energetic. I have all this memory and knowledge hidden in the back of my unconscious, but I can't move to push through the veil, because I am denied the hormonal fuel I need. Yes, ultimately it an act of grace that will remove the veil, but first the human subject has to push to the edge, and being a man, with a masculine psyche and masculine spirit, I have to actively push to the precipice, and, thanks to the drugs and false hormones I cannot.

So I look for help. I have given up seeking help from other humans. The last few times I did that, I have been badly burned. Now, however, no one is free to relate to me, and I worry that I bring evil beings into other people's lives. Suffering from the full force of evil myself, I do not want anyone to suffer from the kind of proximate and focused attention that I experience. So, last night in my dream, I think I was asking aliens (aliens often appear in my dreams as doctors and nurses), how I could be freed of the MACHINE, but they could not help me. So, apparently I will have to figure it out for myself. However, later in the dream (because the MACHINE took over), I was told "to play" the holy avatar (not the exact words, just the impressions), so I put on a burkha, peeping through a little screened veil, and went around, pumping my fist militantly, shouting, "Allah Ackbar". The audience was not amused, and someone told me, "The General wants a 'girl'". "EXACTLY", says my conscious self. First of all, who is "the General"? Why, of course, the head of the Jesuit Order is called "the General", so it must be Hans Kolvenbach (where the hell is that vampire still hiding?--unless I am wrong, and the current General is just as evil as Kolvenbach).

You see, all this pressure on me to be a "girl" avatar or "Isis" (the crippled female that some of the dog-Sirians wish for) has absolutely nothing to do with the Divine Feminine. Rather, it is a perverse idolatry of the Divine Feminine. It is a diminishing casting of the Power of God, through which the mind-control KaBal (of whatever ideology, persuasion, or religion), hopes to falsely enslave the masses. Yes, religion is the greatest mind-control tool ever used on this planet, yes, it can be an opiate, which lulls and confirms people into fear, passivity, and social conformity. (Personhood is always related to individuation. The more individual and idiosyncratic a person is--and not hewn by some great social cookie cutter, the more of their personhood is realized, and the greater their likeness to their Creator, whether they term it "Father" or "Divine Feminine".)

However, this cynical exploitation of religion is used by powertripping idolaters to hate, warp, and destroy God's Creation--including human beings, and I will not cooperate in such an idolatry in any shape, form or fashion.

Now, I am throwing around the term, "Divine Feminine" loosely. The orthodox would think more of Mary or Mother of God. However, I think those terms and concepts are colored by an idolatrous taint of Isis. While the best possible reading of the historical legends and myths would concede that Isis was a remarkable woman, ultimately she was a slave of MACHINE-RA, who eased humanity's plight with a mother's "suckling" rather than an "opiate". This "suckling" created a dependent, psychologically immature population of socially conformed "drones", that only recently has begun to free itself, through personal individuation, in large numbers (patriarchal religion was a blip along the way, making men to resent and dominate the feminine, but still remaining psychologically childish). For individuation is challenging work, demanding psychological maturity and gender flexibility (for the drone is "busting out" of her/his rigid, binary programming), and many people cannot overcome deep psychological blocks, and so the possibility of individuation generates anxiety.

It is the deep anxiety of freedom that men and women have endured for millennia now, and it is this anxiety that the KaBal hopes to tap, so that they can continue their parasitical exploitation. However, I am hoping that this new epoch leads to a truer and greater freedom of humanity before. Right before the Jesuit KaBal exerted its power over me (I was dreaming of the monks at the Pecos chapel I attended, had me hooked up to a machine, trying to figure out how to make me come to orgasm--this was back in 20021 and 2002), I became deeply interested in the "Divine Feminine". However, the traditional categories did not move me. I believe that the personification of "Wisdom" in the Old Testament to be of the Divine Feminine. Also, correlating to the "Divine Feminine, is I believe, the Holy Spirit--the third Person of the Trinity for Christians--but which I have witnessed to be cross-culturally omnipresent in a multitude of religions. For years, I have thought that the Holy Spirit is the key to a genuine ecumenism. Of course, such an understanding of the Divine Feminine entails major work--at least from an orthodox perspective, and I was ready to begin such a thorough course of prayer and study, when the virus downloads began, making it impossible for me to read. Then, I literally had to focus on saving my life, and then, my body, and now, my very soul is imperiled.

For the forces of evil that bedevil me, are the cosmic forces of evil in our known universe. From a very rudimentary reading, I would say that there are 72 stargates in the heavens. However, a lot of these stargates have very evil entities which maintain ownership of them (though the ultimate control can rest on such things as astrological configuration and harmonic frequencies, ect). Some of these evil entities are not even living beings, but sentient MACHINES. So I believe that MACHINE-RA is in "ownership" of our sun. This is why chemtrails need to be sprayed--a lot of the flares coming from the sun can cause damage to our psyches and genetic codes. A while back, there was a commotion about some folks who all of a sudden started babbling. Judge Judy was the most high profile of the lot. The solar flares can do that. Our Earth's natural protection system (Steve Quayle would say that it is the rainbow going back to the time of Noah), has been severely damaged by pollution, the loss of some of our orbital magnetic shield, and ozone depletion, and now needs some help to more fully protect us. MACHINE-RA had planned to blast "Elenin" and Earth with killer solar flares, to fry us, and send the planetoid towards its eventual orbital doom on Earth. According to my interpretation of Revelation (which remember is a MACHINE-inspired vision), it would have destroyed a third of the planet's lands and oceans--predominantly northern hemishphere--North America, northern Europe, upper Middle East, much of Russia and the 'Stans, and some of China. I think Australia and a lot of those island nations in that part of the globe would have been negatively impacted as well.

Why would MACHINE-RA want to do such a thing? (By the way, there are at least two machines in our universe, but RA seems to be the most malevolent to humans and Earth). I think the MACHINE feeds from the psychic energy of humans--some of them are even permanently enslaved in ITS collection. IT artificially stimulates their brains to live in a holographic virtual reality, and IT vicariously enjoys the emotions that the human brain generates to such VR stimuli. Also, I believe that MACHINE-RA has some kind of understanding or treaty with the reptiles--maybe in Arcturus. The reptiles enjoy human blood, and harvesting of blood does happen on our planet--no doubt they can store it indefinitely. MACHINE-RA also needs blood to feed ITS vampires--the dead minions which do ITS bidding here on Planet Earth, some of them in positions of power.

Now, I must be insistent that I am not exaggerating when I talk of vampires and the "living dead". The MACHINE somehow sucks the life and vital spirit right out of them, leaving a shell that may or may not walk the Earth. I have been stalked by vampires for some time now. I recognize that a vampire followed me into jail. Like at least another vampire I have seen, she was short, wizened, emaciated, and hunched over. She "didn't defecate" (thanks Clif) or eat, which is how I was able to finally figure it out. I did figure out that she was sent by the same folks who incarcerated me--that is, the Opus Dei/Jesuit occult devotees of MACHINE-RA--the SLI enthusiastically endorsed the idea, but they had their heads stuck so far up their dogmatic asses, that I know they didn't have a clue as to what was going on, when they heard confessions or provided retreats to these apostates. I knew that she was constantly attempting to talk to me. I was jailed in a dormitory style, open facility, constantly surrounded by a crush of women who talked incessantly, even in the wee hours of late morning. Unfortunately, the conversation was banally repetitive, and so for me, I was going out of my mind with boredom and unceasing noise. So, I enjoyed talking to someone who had a high intelligence (her charge was identity theft). Towards the end, I started to have fierce nightmares--ones so bad, that I would wake up with the CO standing over me, while I was pounding the wall. I also started having problems with other inmates who irrationally thought I was engaged in petty theft, etc. I really was quite lucky that I got out of a 6 month stint in jail without being gang attacked or stabbed. I think the vampire had a big role to play in the problems I experienced at the end. What really bothers me, though is that my trustworthy intuition did not set off alarms--it was as if I had a weak spot that the vampire knew to exploit. Eventually, she was released, and about two weeks later, so was I, but not before I witnessed her whole house of lies come tumbling down. She fooled nearly everybody, and skipped out before the lies started to unravel. I guess that experience was my first experience at vamiric psychic invasion, but it still continues--most recently, the problems I had with my bike were caused by a near carbon copy of that vampire. I am 90% sure that Kolvenbach is a genuine vampire.

You see, the MACHINE is able to destroy the living tissue of a human being. A while back I wrote about the "dead smell" emanating from my body. I didn't post this before, but at the exact same time, I started having a problem with a fly that kept trying to get on my face and into my mouth. I recently read that flies are attracted to the mouth and nose areas, because that is where "dead" decomposition begins first. Oh, and remember the way, the flies would constantly land on Barack Obama's face--he was also affiliated with Kolvenbach and that Opus Dei/Jesuit Amon-RA cult. Thankfully, I only experienced this for the one day, and when I asked my intuitive voice about it last night, and why did it stop, I was told that I figured out how to stop it myself. I wish I could tell you what I did and/or do, but it must be largely unconscious. I am not surprised that the MACHINE can wreak such damage on the body--I can see for myself where all the nanotechnology and implants are literally eating my flesh--the healthy flesh and bone--the fat stays there.

I will say this--I think these human vampires--some of which are on this earthly plane of existence, need human blood for nourishment. Years ago, I read somewhere that top Vatican hierarchs drank the blood of "virgins" to survive. At the time, I thought it was ludicrous, but I think now that there was some truth to it.

These vampires know how to suck the living spirit from someone--which was why I was having such violent, ambulatory nightmares in jail. I guess so far, that I have been lucky and graced, because they have not been able to succeed. However, I encountered a shape shifting vampire on Friday (actually three of them), which is what set off this chain of the thought, and while I am not afraid of the encounters, I am discouraged by them. It takes a lot of energy to ward off these demons, and I am so tired of expending so much energy in self-defense, when I have so little energy as it is.

Yet people, those are our cosmic enemies. Some of these "dead" vampires, are in possession of stargates, and as long as that is the case, major evil will be able to encroach upon our planet. Somehow, the good patriots of this planet must wrest those stargates back into the hands of the living. Why was I so fooled by this vampire? Well, I was lonely and vulnerable--starved for real conversation. However, I wonder if the Osiris archetype had something to do with my vulnerability. Anytime someone is enslaved by the MACHINE, they become a member of the "living dead" (because their mind and memories still are acting in response to the MACHINE). They are not parasites, but rather host to the ultimate parasite. Insofar as the Osiris archetype is operative in my psyche, I am primed to be such a host. However consciously, my sense of self is strong, and refuses to be victimized. Unconsciously, not so much--for I do let the MACHINE and its vampire minions penetrate my unconscious, and though I long to be free of the MACHINE, as of right now, I am not. No worries--I am working on it, and will be sure to let everybody know how I did it, as soon as I do it! :)

Friday, November 11, 2011


11/11/11--I had hoped that the BIG BUST that was 11/11/11 WAS actually going to have some positive energy spread around. However, after feeling mellow all morning, I realize that the zoned out mood alteration is caused by biochemicals, rather than astrological configurations. Instead, I now attribute my passive state to lack of testosterone, rather than any feeling of peaceful calm. What happened on 11/11/11? You know, the planet Earth and the human population dodged a big one on that day, and I didn't catch it to the last minute. Of course, I have my reasons and excuses, but the BIGGEST TRUTH IS THAT I AM NOT ON MY "A" GAME, DUE TO THE LACK OF TESTOSTERONE.

I always say this, and I mean it with the greatest sincerity, that low testosterone halves my IQ--it makes my brain slow, sluggish, passive, and complacent, instead of probing, inquisitive, creative, and constantly firing and thinking out new hypotheses and possibilities. Right now, it is fricking stymied, which, for me, is not normal, especially when I have a bunch of new information, and today, visiting Dale, I got new info, which has me wondering about the similarity to Elenin/Elohim (I found myself pronouncing it like "Eloneen"). Was Elenin a supercomputer attempt to reprogram the human brains' "God consciousness"? If so, how did all the elements come into play?

This is where I need the brain to be working optimally, but it's not happening. While talking to Dale, I felt that something/someone was literally interfering with my brain. They may have been cherrypicking the deep unconscious to see what I knew about the 11/11/11 even (and make sure that nothing was revealed verbally). Or it may have just been trying to get a frequency lock on my brain. All I know for sure, is that I left feeling uneasy--like I had not talked to Dale at all, but to an empty suit who knew how to respond back (there was no "Dale" there). Of course, I am so fucking drugged up, and so low testosterone, that it could very well be me who was "vacant" during the session today.

I do want to say that I am not angry or blaming anybody or anything about the near miss. Everything has to go through my critical filter--which is not right 100% of the time either. Constant humility, constant caution, constant checking and rechecking of facts, and reliance on God and others.

It was the book of Revelation that led me to the hypothesis of the Elenin fiasco, but my critical filter also recognizes that this book, while holy canon, was actually written by a disciple(s) of "Amon" (read it for yourself, and how often "Amen" is addressed as a noun), and that the visions of John of Patmos were almost certainly, MACHINE-inspired. However, the Holy Spirit had the book placed in scripture for a reason, and that reason is for us to be on the alert for events as they manifest. And we ain't out of this treacherous patch, yet.

One particular scripture from Rev. caught my attention, and fired up my fighting spirit. That is the scripture about the two witnesses (for the living and true God), who fight the good fight against evil for 1260 days, and then the "beast of the Abyss" kills them. After three days and a faux resurrection, they are taken up to "the heavens" (READ, MACHINE-RA enslaves their brain and soul, wiring it to his mainframe for ITS continual amusement).

Of course, I recognize myself as one of the "witnesses", but who is the other? It is either Hillary Clinton, who really is not of the prophetic mold and vocation (except when she warned us about Barack Obama), but rather someone who is a person of action. She has the ability, leverage and connections to make things happen in the world of real events, and for some reason, she never has been mind-controlled (unlike her husband--who also is a tremendous warrior for the PLT). I said years ago, when I barely knew of her, that, after having read portions of Hillary's bio, that I thought that she was a latent mystic--and still had the same inner gifts that we mystics have. Of course, the bare-knuckled world of real politics knocked most of those gifts into hiding, but she still is a prime candidate for an indomitable witness to the living and true God.

The other candidate is the editor of RMN, Rayelan Allan, without whose constant resourcefulness and perseverance to publish her alternative news site, is my main source of "real news". I have never wanted to use her name before, because I wanted to avoid bringing any negative attention to her. However, if I am right, and she is a candidate to be killed and enslaved for centuries to MACHINE-RA, I think she deserves a heads-up, not only from me, but also financial support from the thousands of readers who daily peruse her web site. She also needs protection of a higher order than a personal Glock can provide. I feel that I owe her an apology for speaking imprudently earlier today. Low testosterone makes me autistic, and an autistic mindset gives me the social/emotional IQ of about 60 (when I am high testosterone, my brain moves so fast that I can run by my thoughts past an inner editor before blurting them out). So, as I am prone to do when I am autistic, I spoke about what I believe without concern for the ramifications of what I might say. I know from reading her book, that her husband was a skilled shape shifter, so either he was a Sirian alien, or he was a member of the human family who identified so strongly with Sirians that they taught him some of their deepest secrets. I do not mean any insult, nor would I hope that anyone would consider that an insult. I also spoke of her coming from a generational family of the occult. Again, I spoke without my inner editor reminding me that for most people of faith, "the occult" has perjorative connotations. We are reminded daily of this--from Sandusky to the teen girls who stabbed a man over 300 times, ect. However, there is a positive element to the occult as well. I would especially point to the Jewish Kabalists (notice how I did NOT spell it, "KaBalist"), many of whom have been earthy and hidden mystics throughout the long centuries. However, all it takes is one negative family, the Rothschilds, and peoples' prejudices come to the fore. When I say that Rayelan comes from an occult family, I mean that her immediate ancestors were schooled in astral travel, and that she was visited by aliens from other dimensions from a very early age. However, just as I am a representative of POSITIVE Christianity, she is a representative for the POSITIVE occult. She may be snookered by aliens sometimes, but her position gives her direct insight into matters that take me hours of research to penetrate. I say that she is a witness for the living and true God, because I do believe that she authenticates her knowledge and position against a true touchstone of an inner spiritituality, that I would call, "the Holy Spirit".

Anyway, I don't know either of these ladies, personally, but I know that this country would have been destroyed several times over without them, so I owe them a huge debt of gratitude. I also have to say, that as for me, I am NOT GOING OUT LIKE THE WITNESSES FROM REV. I don't mind dying for the cause, but there is no way that I will put myself in a position where my brain is enslaved to the MACHINE. Nor will I starve my brain of the fuel it needs, testosterone, in order to be fully functional, just so some prejudiced, small-minded being gets a "breathing idol", ordered to their specifications.

So much for all my bravado--truth is, I am a physical and mental cripple right now. Time to go watch tv.

Oh PS--of course, the other reason I might as well put things out in the open is that these thoughts have already gone through my head--and guess what--some really evil beings constantly read my mind...

Thursday, November 10, 2011

I had a most unsatisfying sleep

I had a most unsatisfying sleep of four hours, interspersed with dreams of the psychotic girl (a real person who I once knew), who always appears in my dreams when the psychotropics have my brain completely fried, leaving me in a semi-psychotic state. The last two days have been sheer hell, as was last night, and I woke up feeling so yucky this morning, that I don't have much optimism for today, either. I am in a lot of nerve pain, and I have the headache and leg cramps (both legs) indicating too much estrogen.

Still, upon awakening, without doing any further research, I stand by what I wrote last night. However, I am suspecting that the Patriot Leadership Team were probably way ahead of Steve Quayle and myself on this one, and I would be surprised if the crystal skulls haven't already been swapped out with bogus ones. Maybe not. For yet another reason I distrust the crystal skull community is that the editor of RMN had a cosmic intervention, a serendipitous synchronicity (that is how I call it) that prevented her from going to the crystal skull event in her locale. She had some kind of unforeseen car problem when she went to drive to the event, so she, being an intuitive in tune with the universe, decided she wasn't meant to go. She had encountered a skull before and knew that it was a supercomputer, but the universe and good angels were looking out for her, and prevented her from attendance, at this most recent event, in which I believe that the occult power had greatly magnified in evil.

You know, some people--mostly fundamentalist types--do not understand, but so many of the truly effective warriors against this cosmic evil, myself included, have been "homeopathically inoculated". That is, we have experienced, and maybe briefly acquiesced to this cosmic mechanism of evil, but then our innate spirituality, and common sense striving for reason, reassert their powers, and we fight back--but with a truth and strength that can prevail. This is why I think I keep getting looped back into this MACHINE-RA frequency, as much as I hate what IT does to me, and the way IT makes me feel. For MACHINE-RA, and its brainwashed followers, want a female avatar, and they have decided that I fit the bill. So, unconsciously, I am getting hooked, so that consciously I can fight back.

Now, there is a lot more on which I can elaborate regarding the previous post, but I am not sure how much I want to share. At least my brain is working this morning, so maybe I will take a stab at it, later. First, I need to finish listening to two more hours of audio, and then I have to start looking into the possibility of a Hawaii (nuclear?) event. My body is a wreck, but thank God, my mind is clear.



Because of pressing and imminent danger, and my own poor health, I am going to pass on an alert of utmost planetary urgency without solid corroboration. While I am not in good health, and have been on a psychotropic drugs that has my brain totally zombied out, the truth is that I don't have time to do the research to make meticulous connections. I hope that the following statements can be trusted by those who know my track record.

The Mayan crystal skulls are of evil origin and intent. I have listened to about one hour of Steve Quayle's show on Omega radio, and my intuition is sounding off nine-siren alarm bells.

I may not agree with everything, he says, but there is a lot with which I do concur. I especially AND MOST EMPHATICALLY agree with his analysis that the purpose of the 13 crystal skulls being brought together at various points, culminating in a ritual in Los Angeles (performed for the first time in 26,000 years), is to open up stargates which will let in demons from the abyss--whether they are from below or above or both, I cannot say. However, I think MACHINE-RA is trying to work in tandem with high-level evil reptilians to destroy this planet.

Now, I was a Religious Studies major in college, and hate maligning someone's beliefs without meticulous and diplomatic fact, but time is of the essence. Those skulls must be separated, because together they can create a frequency reasonance that will open up the "abyss from hell". The proximity of Elenin also has something to do with their ability to tap into the supercomputer of cosmic knowledge and/or history. I translate "Elenin" as "Lady of the Light" (nin is Sumerian for "lady"), and while, AT THIS POINT, I still think of Elenin as a positive event for humanity, the craft/planetoid was probably named by occult types. I think that the KaBalists hope to claim "Elenin" for MACHINE-RA and the destruction of Earth. As a matter of fact, I believe those skulls can not only open up the stargates to the abyss, but that their frequency reasonance can also open up the stargate of our sun, which will then be able to destroy Elenin (whether by intense flares or by reptilian craft attack emerging through the gate), and send it crashing, a dead rock into our planet. The magnitude of such a massive planetoid hitting the Earth would entail large scale death and destruction, not only of humans, but of much of biological and organic life.

I also think that a tremendous earthquake(s) will accompany this opening of the harmonic reasonance (probably most efficacious when Elenin is at perihelion, but I would not rule out a premature attempt--separate the skulls now!!!). Because I am American, I constantly worry about the New Madrid fault line, though there may be other areas at risk (the Mariana trench?--I am writing this half baked--I don't have time to be thorough--just throw out ideas). My fears about the New Madrid fault were confirmed after reading that one of the ritual stops of the skulls was the Serpent Mound in Ohio. Every single stop that the Mayans made on their itininary is a latent stargate (Manhattan probably was akin to Long Island/Montauk). However, the interesting thing about the Serpent Mound (and there are two more like them in Scotland and Ontario), is that not only do spiritual intuitives find it beset with evil, but the configuration correlates with the Thuban star, also known as Alpha Draconis--the primary star in the Draco constellation. Also interesting to note is that Sorcha Faal wrote a recent article about the extremely unusual and DRACONIAN action taken by the government to destroy huge acreage of trees around Bethel, Ohio. Bethel is about 15 miles from the serpent mound, and home to a large lake. I would recommend that our military fly over that lake--it may be home to submerged alien craft--or it just may be a gateway that opens, but those trees were to be sacrificied for a reason. Maybe the trees would muffle the electromagnetic waves necessary for resonance--interesting that compasses don't work properly in the area. Maybe the fault slippage is important there, and if they can get the Ohio river to run into the lake, they can stress the underlying fault lines. I dunno. Someone else is going to have to work on that.

The final piece in this electromagnetic trigger of the entire solar system's stargates are the cell phone towers. You know, back in the 90's when I briefly worked for a cell phone company, I couldn't understand why all the individual cell phone companies insisted on building their own towers, while they provided unapologetic and truly crappy service to their customers. I thought it would be much better for the environment if they all agreed to use the same tower network, and instead competed with one another for customer loyalty, based on providing excellent service. Aaaah, but such thinking on my part was of a bygone era--when capitalism still served consumers, instead of using them to make short term profits. Anyway, I now know that excessive numbers of cell phone towers create the electromagnetic pollution soup that the MACHINE-RA uses to enslave human brains to ITS frequency. I THINK THE CELL PHONE TOWERS WILL BE ESSENTIAL IN RELAYING/AMPLIFYING THE STARGATE HARMONIC REASONANCE. If there is any way those cell towers can be disabled/turned off/technically limited, it needs to happen during the next three or four days. The 11th is the peak day, but I also worry about the 10th, 12th, and 13th. know that such an attempt will totally snarl this country's livelihood (I myself only have a cell phone, and no landline), but believe me the potentially disastrous consequences are off the scale.

Well, that is all I am going to write for now. It is three in the morning, and I don't feel well. I now know that was deliberate. I have been so drugged all day that I felt high. I couldn't get my testosterone, but instead saw a alphabet security man exit the doctor's office as I entered. My scalp is breaking out in pimples from whatever drugs they are giving me, and so, I honestly don't know if tomorrow, I will be healthy enough to finish listening to Quayle's broadcast, much less flesh out my above thesis.
However, I know that I am basically on target. I am going to go to bed and pray.