Apparently, i blew it in the last post

Apparently, i blew it in the last post. if i am wrong, i will be the first to admit it. but i dont think so. I I still stand by everything I said about Louis Freeh. However, i didnt prove it well enough, nor could the psychics verify it. From what i am piecing together, Sirian psychics allied with "positive" Vatican hierarchs are helping to verify what i post. Something else has to come into play, because i put a lot of tenuous ideas out there. Unfortunatley, those Sirians are the one who want to seeme as a crippled female, because LOL, to them, that is their idea of holiness. You know i say it over and over again, but no one pays attenton. THE OPUS DDEI SPIRITUALITY, OR RATHER, LACK OF IT, MAKES ME SICK!!! I have had several encounters with opus dei people, and not one, either that I have met personally or viewed in the media, impresses me as ahving anything other than an infantile faith. they are the Pharisees that jesus warned against. They, and their spiritual ilk, the SLI, are the ones who threw me in jail. They are the ones who have made my life fucking hell with their fucking goddamned drug, AND I HATE YOU STUPID FUCKING SONS OF BITCHES. Today, I became temporarily paralzed, because they have got me on some goddamned psychotropic that has totally fucked up not only my brain, byut my motor neurons. even now, i can barely walk. forget bike riding. and my ass keeps getting bigger and bigger because the stupid goddamned fucks messed up with my lower back and glute muscles. So fucking eager to have a fucking female that they destroyed my healthy body to do so, and now i walk around with this huge fat ass, that i have to use to walk, because my healthy back muscles and alignment has been destroyed. However, I know that all my protestations dont mean shit to these 21st century torquemados. In their eyes, i am a female, and they "own" me and can do whatever they like to me. They LIKE crippled devotees, and every opus dei person i have ever met is a spiritual cripple--not a man jack or "girl" of them who have true Christian spirit. sorry to say it, but it is the truth. So did my contempt for opus dei unduly prejudice my opinion of louis freeh? I dont think so. I dont let my emotional feeling for anything interfere with my reason or intuition. I think that, last nite in my sleep I choked, when asked to provide positive proof, (and I probably got it somewhere, becuae i can remmeber the aritcle i read--i am just too fucked up to go back and look for it). I didn't choke on my own misgivings, however. i choke on the evil spirit of deception that is in me. I have read that the highest level of evil spirit is a religious one, and there is no doubt that Kolvenbach or Strong has put one in me. It is a miracle that i am not a David Koresh or rev. jim Jones. They got to me too late--after a strong rational filter had been installed in my mind through true education. however, as long as i am on these psychotropic durgs, i will be vulnerable to this operative evil spirit. small comffort that i wont be worth a damn in the real world either, so they dont get their girl avatar. small comfort if Penn State scandal gets whitewashed, or a war starts (oh yes, the Vatican which runs this country is back in the seat of power, and they want to start a middle East war---they don't care where or how--anything to get their paws on Jerusalem). Is Louis Freeh just a mind controlled patsy, who is brainwashed after he carries out order. This is very possible--which is how he might have eluded a powerful psychic scan. However, it is also possible that the psychic doing the scan wasn't that invested in digging deep. Ultimately, however, i blame myself. but there is no use kicking myself, when i can barely move. earlier today i was crawling on all fours to get to the toilet. My floors are filthy. Simple task, like sweeping floors take evertying i have. Today i did laundry, tomorrow i will grocery shop (heres hopig). for thanksgiving, i may go to a neighbor, but part of me dreads to go because i know i am too autistic to provide social company. however, it would be nice to eat someone else's cooking, and who knows? I may need to call on themsomeday, if i find myself completely paralyzed. So, I am not going to spend any more time on this opus dei thing. instead, all my energy goes into fighting and resisting their sick, warped vision of and for me. you may cripple me, you sons of bitches, but dont expect me to send any universal compassion your way. YOU ARE SICK, AND YOUR SPIRITUALITY IS SICK, AND YOU MAY CRIPPLE ME PHYSICALLY, BUT YOU WILL NEVER CRIPPLE ME SPIRITUALLY!!