Thursday, November 24, 2011

Well, this turkey day found me so drugged up

Well, this turkey day found me so drugged up that i am a fucking zombie. guess some people like me that way. i am their girl avatar that way or they can control me. could barely walk, and muscle backs were spasming. i think i am on risperdol, but not sure. did a little socializing for thanksgiving, but was very autistic and out of it. still, it was different, though i am not healthy or able to relate well. at some point, a man with an accent was talking to me, and i went into the autistic haze of not understanding a word he says--i do that twhen i am in an autistic state, and find it difficult to follow peoples conversation--too low, too high, heavy accent--even an accent with which i am familiar, like a strong southern twang. came home and watched tv. too drugged to do anything else. now its early bedtime. legs are dead, brain is dead, wish i were dead, but still I have to give thanks. not many people know how incredibly grateful this country should be that we dodge one catastropic terrorist act after another. but I know, and I give thanks to God for looking out over this country, and while my health and life really sucks, at least it is enough to contribute. Just wish i felt more human. Ps--I give thanks, not only that MY country is safe, but that the entire planet has so dodged a catastrophic, global event AND that so many of the alien sojurners among us have a place to call home. THANK YOU, GOD!!

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