Thursday, June 30, 2011

Worse and worser for me, personally

Worse and worser for me, personally--as the goddamned pesticide man was a Nazi clone--blonde hair, blue eyes, and a totally vacant mind. My brain started rushing last night as with lithium, (but also with high powered energy weapons), and I went out to sleep in my pickup bed. That is good for one night--after that, the Nazis will spray psychotropics on the liner. Anyway, interesting dream. I dreamed that I was involved in a battle. I saw a small reddish brown planet or death star, and 3 humongous space cruisers. Someone was trying to teach me how to interface with a machine in order to control it. I didn't wake up feeling abused, so it must have been the good guys that I was helping. However, it has been all downhill ever since. I am pretty sure that I am on lithium. At the grocery store, I was hit with an energy drain so severe that I literally could not lift my feet, but only drag them. It doesn't help that my hills are so dry and calloused that they are cracked. Whatever psychotropic cocktail that I am on is causing a mineral or hormonal imbalance that leads to the severe dryness of my feet soles--I never suffered from that before. My mouth is always dry as well. I have no appetite except for sweets, and my stool is looking like a migraine stool. Effectively, I am walking around with a constant dry migraine.

Certainly, the lithium that I am on is part of my suffering, but I am wondering where blonde boy popped the energy weapon. This man has sprayed my house, once a year, for about 4 years in a row. The last time I saw him was last spring. At that point, I stil did not know about the Nazi cloning going on. Interestingly enough, for the past few years, I had thought that he was a slightly mentally deficient evangelical Christian. Amazing, how similar brainwashed and mind-controlled people are to fervent Christians (and I am being honest and sincere, not hateful or polemical). No wonder why MACHINE-RA tried so hard to get control of Christianity and turn it into a bona fide empire religion.

Anyway, the funny thing was that I told myself to be paranoid, and not trust this fellow, but it is so much in my nature to be trusting, and same old story, I felt so yucky, that I just let him walk around and do his thing, not only in my home, but in my neighbor's home. If he left an energy weapon anywhere, it would be near her jewelry table, but I don't think that he wants to make her life miserable. She is one of the few non-psychics around here--just a very high energy, free spirited kind of person. The same cannot be said for me. The Nazis, Reptilians, Faction 1, are very intent on making me suffer, and I guess they think those energy weapons give access to my mind. I already lived through about 3 weeks of this shit, when they were beaming from across the street, onto an ornamental pyramidal complex that the landscaper had created. So, how long will I suffer this time? I don't know? I understand that I cannot count on anybody for anything, except to be used and discarded by the soldiers who are all so happy to harness my unconscious energies, but despise my conscious self-identity and being. It was faction 2 who was responsible for much of the mutilation of my body, which has left me severely depressed and uncomfortable in my own body, but apparently, I am helping them again....I don't get it. I'm like a whore who keeps putting out for free, while the johns all can't wait to get their rocks off, and leave me desolated and vulnerable to the next evil entity. Still, the story about the frog and the scorpion is true. I know that I am letting users and spiritual and psychic slavers abuse me, but it is in my nature to be helpful, and apparently, I cannot help myself, so then i get to beat up myself more, saying I deserve this miserable, fucked up carcass of flesh that I now inhabit, because, after all I cooperated with the abductors responsible for it...

Anyway, this next night is going to be interesting. So far I have been able to block F1 abduction. Can I continue to do it with the energy weapon (the lithium makes me miserable, non-functional, and has me gaining a pound a day), but while it kills brain cells, leaving me mentally less and less, just as surely as F2 has left me physically less and less, the lithium prevents any kind of astral interaction. It is the energy weapon, placed who knows where, that I am worried about. Well, eith God will grant me the grace to find it, or I will move. I dont have the physical or financial resources to move, but I am tired of all this shit. On all sides, I am surrounded by unfriendlies, all looking to probe my mind for their benefit and agenda, and not a goddamned one to come to my aid...NOTHING NEW HERE!


Alert: To the young, recently married royal couple--Will & Kate. I have been worried about them for a while now, because it is clear that Faction 2 prefers Prince Harry over Will, and that they are grooming and highlighting "Pippa" for whatever reason--consort to whom?

Anyway, I was disturbed by the post from Newsweek as so many of us were. It seemed a little bizarre, but for me the most worrisome part was the security bodyguard in the pix. Diana was done in by her own (MI5/MI6) bodyguard detail, the kill shot that felled Kennedy, came from his own secret service driver, who turned around and shot him through the brain at near blank point range. I don't have a "hard" intuitive foreboding, but rather a nagging little sense of worry. Either F2 is playing the royal couple, in preparation for a genuine kill shot later down the road, or they plan to put a move on them here in North America. Why? They will do everything they can to bring down Will (how will it devastate him if he loses his bride--that is a true love match), and that includes murdering his wife. I would just alert Will and his loyal entourage to be thoroughly circumspect re" their security arrangements and detail. Use your intuitive heart, and trust it. It is better to be ridiculously wrong, and accused of paranoia, than to see your loved one dead.

I should have posted this earlier--my bad. I didn't realize that the young couple's visit to this country is imminent. Watch for it--Obama needs more anti 4th-amendment fodder, especially since patriots at the ATF, totally blew his and Holder's plan to distribute American weapons to Mexican drug lords--all to drum up anti-weapon ownership sentiment. They don't have either the mature leadership wisdom to respect the electorate's wishes, or any real leadership skills to bring legitimate pressure for change. So they cheat, just like chumps everywhere, using terror and death to bring order from the so-called "chaos", which really is a freewheeling reality, and right now, a dead Duchess of Cornwall would suit their needs perfectly.

I really want to write a longer post, but I have got things to do--I have no "hard" intuition, just a "soft" concern for the lives of this young couple...VET ALL SECURITY DETAIL WITH YOUR INTUITION AND HEART, and don't be fooled by liberal poppycock of cries about "rights", or "tradition" (I have been in Prince Phillip's service for 40 years), or "profiling". Be smart. Protect yourselves.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Making progress??

Making progress?? I dreamed last night that my mom wanted me to get into the computer and so I did, and in the initial bootup sequence, I saw that I was a FORMER username that the computer no longer recognized. In my dream, I thought, "Good, and I want it to stay that way." Hopefully, the dream signifies that I am no longer plugged into MACHINE-RA. Certainly, I no longer am following current events, which of course, could mean that I am woefully ignorant and unprepared as the Middle East crisis deepens, but the first thing I have to do is save myself, and it is clear to me, that none of the factions involved in my life are willing to treat me as a FREE ADULT. They all want me to be drugged up or mutilated or celibate, or whatever fits their definition of who I am. I am sick and tired of insisting upon my rights, which just get abused nevertheless. Today, I am depressed over the goddamned female hormomes, which they force on me, or is it the psychotropics which have me feeling so negative and depressed. Who the fuck can force their goddamned hormones and psychotropics on me without my permission? I am sick of ALL FACTIONS. I AM A HUMAN BEING, NOT A LAB RAT. Then there is the constant pain that suffer. The implants have been placed so poorly in my lower back that I literally cannot walk without my whole body starting to vibrate from all the excess and dammed up energy in my meridians. My entire pelvic girdle and lower back is in pain, and there is nothing I can do about it, because every time I go to do a yoga move, I realize what an unresponsive, mutilated carcass has been left me, by the fucking pigs who cut on me at will, again, without any permission. Oh, you don't mind losing your shoulders, or a couple of inches or a set of ribs??? You don't mind having cow boobs that you feel with every single move you make? Hell yes, I mind!!!! I WANT MY BODY BACK!!!! The abusive, sadistic torturers who took my beautiful body from me and left me with this mutilated carcass without my CONSCIOUS, EXPLICIT consent, are not friends nor allies of mine. I have none--just a bunch of of juvenile fans all in love with an image from their own mind THAT IS NOT ME.

I am sick and tired of being used by every faction in the book, but never treated as a free human being. I suppose it all starts with my mother. I realize that I talked with her, via phone, the night before I was abducted this week--the one that left me screaming in psychosis and pain--and where they implanted the chips in the back that have me crippled while walking. The interesting thing was that Mom was talking to me about a Central American tapestry that she had given to me on my last birthday. She described it exactly--a man playing the marimba with two iconic birds nearby. I got very sick during the call--not unusual, as the fucking Nazi pricks often start a viral download while I talk on the phone--just one of their little tricks to make me isolated socially. The phone call dropped, and though I tried to recall a couple of times, the Nazis had what they wanted. For in retrospect, I think now that the phone call was used to prime me for mind control in my sleep. They got into my brain wave length while I was talking to my mom (I wondered if they showed her the actual vidoe of the tapestry, for my mom's memory is not that good--there is NO WAY she would have remembered that tapestry on her own), and were able to get into my mind and unconscious assent, using my mom.

So, this dream from last night tells me that the only way these evil beings who are continuing to abduct me and trying to get into my head, whether reptilian or Sirian, can succeed is through my mother. Now, I have to be on the alert for that, because I don't want another night of agony as I had the other night, and as I sure as hell don't want to spend another interval in the astral presence of a worthless piece of flesh like Barack Obama, Hans Kolvenbach, Ariel Sharon, Joseph Ratzinger, or any of the other parasitical leeches who latch onto me, trying to reach some Orion demonic prince.

I need to put my mind on something else, but it is very hard, having a proactive mind, when I am force fed all these female hormones--they just fill me with negative energy, and steal and drain what little energy I do have, so that life becomes very difficult. It is hormonal castration--however, the fucking factions in my life have made it clear that they prefer me castrated, unless of course, I am under their complete control while unconscious. I have lost all ability to enjoy music (it is the depression and negative energy caused by the excessive estrogen, I think), but if I could sing, I would sing "NO TENGO NADIE THAT I CAN DEPEND ON".

Anyway, apart from really watching my phone calls with my mother, I have to come up with something else to occupy my mind...

Tuesday, June 28, 2011


Subhuman. That is the only way to describe how I have felt all day long. In addition to the viral downloads, I am on some kind of psychotropic that has me totally alienated from all life and feeling function. Good thing I am not following current events much, because without my feeling function to assign value, there is no way I can assess and prioritize the information. Tried to clean house a little bit, and I am so heavy, and dragging so badly--subhuman.

I know that this psychotropic druggin is the latest from the catholic fascists. I saw where some woman is suing opus dei. I hope she wins millions. fucking pigs just don't get it--that human beings have rights. well the catholics give more rights to fetuses than they do to adult women. i can witness to that. hate to go to bed. iif i am on lithium i am going to have same breain rushes. too tired. have to try

Oh, am wondering if the goddamned jesuit nazi pigs have another surprise planned for me. The pesticide man is to spray my home tomorrow, but I wouldnt be surprised if it just another psyops attempt to make me feel miserable in my own home. So sick of those pigs--they have no idea of how long ago they totally alienated me with their it by ear.

Catatonic again

Catatonic again---am i on lithium? too sick to do anything, i desperately need to clean house, but am too sick to even wash dishes or sweep floor. i don't even know how i could get dressed--very slowly. need to go for water and a few groceries but i am too autistic to drive. woke up and looked at ceiling and could see every point in ceiling. really bad shape. i am in a lot of pain too. fuckers shaved my left knee, and i am suffering from nerve pain there and in lef thigh. interesting dream last nite. dream obama asked me how he could get reelected. i think obama literally was present in my abducted state last nite. he is a fucking parasite, and he has been present in my dream before--which is how i got the scoop on a couple of bombs. it is the jesuits and their fucking christo-fascist catholic supporters who are abdutcing me now, so that tells me who is backing obamas play. anyway i told obama ot uspoort gay people. you notice how he has been absent from the gay fight/victories lately? his jesuit puppet masters pullin his striung. fuck the goddamned jesuits and their evil agenda. now that I am conscious, i will tell obamathat you will NOT win reelection. i will not for you a second tme, not under any circumstance. feeling too sick to continue on.

Pain. Cut everywhere--even on my knees

Pain. Cut everywhere--even on my knees which now are suffering from nerve pain. Praying to God to let me die. I am so miserable in this body, it is not bearable. I feel completely unloved, unappreciated, unrespected as the beautiful being God created me. Instead, whether it be Nazis or Templars, F1 or F2, oh, and lets not forget all the goddamned christofascists--no one sees me for who I really am, and now they have destroyed my body beyond all recognition. I HATE THE WAY THEY SEE ME, AND I HATE INHABITING THIS MISERABLE, PAIN=WRACKED BODY. They have cut so much from my chest and shoulders that I am freakish, not to mention miserable, because the arms constantly are resting against the erogenous flesh of the boobs. I no longer want masectomies. I just want to die. I want to be rid of this pain, suffering, and abuse. I don't know what I did in a previous lifetime to deserve this hell, but whatever it was, I repent, but I no longer want to be in this body. Tired of the suffering, and misery. want release. Just rememberto shatter my brains. going to try to go back to seleep with the pain.

Monday, June 27, 2011

I am in severe psyhcosis

I am in severe psyhcosis--preparing 2 knock self out w vodka n vicodin. goin out of mind. screaming. fuckin nazis put implants in belly--shake whole body, fraid to die, hope to die, no longer want to suffer abuse from thessse nazi pigs.

Dreams last night revealed to me

Dreams last night revealed to me, that yes again, the fucking Christo-fascists of the Roman Catholic church are interfering in my life. It is not enough that the fucking bastards have been the human elements involved in the destruction of my body, brain, life and health...THE FUCKING PIGS ACTUALLY STILL BELIEVE THAT I AM GOING TO BE THEIR MIND-CONTROLLED GIRL CHILD SAINT!!! Jesus Christ, how stupid can they get? I guess they think that if they abuse me enough, sooner or later, I will enjoy the spiritual and psychic rape!

Actually, I am not enjoying anything. I am all fucked up on psychotropics that make it nearly impossible for me to move, but I have to--the pesticide man is coming to spray in a couple of days, and while I have been postponing the inevitable, hoping to feel better, push came to shove today. That means, I have to get enough energy to clean house, which believe me is a herculean effort.

So when does this goddamned shit from these fucking Jesuits and their goddamned mind-controlled minions stop? I don't know. I am so sick of the whole goddamned mess of abuse that those sons of bitches have put on me, but I am too drugged to mount any kind of resistance. Now, I have got to get up and force myselfr to clean house, which is so hard, when all i want to do is lay down and sleep...

Sunday, June 26, 2011

I am nauseated from whatever psychotropic

I am nauseated from whatever psychotropic or hormonal cocktail that I am on. I have decided to quit spending so much time on the web, and tried to read, but my brain literally cannot read. The cybernetic mind is not the contemplative mind, and reading is an act of contemplation. I fell asleep 3 times for brief naps this afternoon while I tried to read. So, then I tried to get physical and cleared out the stairs to my basement--it was an arduous task, with rests every couple or three minutes, thanks to a really heavy and sluggish body caused by the implants. Still, I looked at the sky and listened to the birds, and realized that I have lost all joy in my life. I don't know if I will ever get it back again.

I do know that clearing out the basement is not going to protect me against any possible power outages this summer. The heat in my body is abnormal. Even when I am relatively cool--upper 60's, my body is so hot that I feel nauseated. Without a/c, I am going to be prostate with heat exhaustion. I take things one day at a time, and right now, I am drugged and miserable. Nothing new--this has been the status quo of my life for as long as I can remember...

Starving the beast

Starving the beast that is MACHINE-RA--that is going to be my personal agenda for the next few weeks, and really that is going to have to be the agenda of this planet, if we are to remain a free human race.

Personally, I have gigured out that MACHINE-RA knows everything that goes through my head. I cannot prevent it. It could be that the cybernetic implants enslave me deeper than I think, so that in my sleep, MACHINE-RA can download all information in my head with ease. It also is likely that I have been deeply compromised by MACHINE-RA in the past. I don't like to think on the possibility of a past life, because reincarnation still is not a part of my belief system. However, there is some connection with past lives that is legitimate, and I wonder if one of those previous lives was that of a high-ranking Templar, perhaps de Molay himself. I cringe whenever I read of the Templars' torture, and all my life, I have been hypersensitive to the thoughts and imaginings of torture. Because I live in a nation-state in which bodily torture is rare, I gleaned my understanding of the subject by reading the torture accounts of so many intelligentsia and literati from Central and South America, where fighting for basic democratic rights often involved the threat of arrest and torture. It is not surprising that so many of those governments were infiltrated and run by Nazis. Anyway, I have my own torture tales to tell now, as I suffer in my body the forced cybernetic implants. Looking at my left hand, I can see a deep groove running where they have tried to relieve the pressure of the fluid buildup that the implants cause. I have already taken 5 tablets of testosterone this morning--just to be able to get up and go.

This for me, entails simple routines right now. I have given up the desire to understand what is happening in the world, because every time I figure something out, MACHINE-RA is able to learn it, as well. All I have to do is sleep. The abductions have not stopped, but hopefully, outward information flow has. I hate to admit it, but I am an unwilling sleeper agent for MACHINE-RA--and I literally mean "sleeper" agent. The MACHINE has no influence on me while awake, but I am completely helpless, for whatever reason, in my sleep.

Yes, the information flow has been a two-way street, and I have learned a lot from being psychically present to my abductors and the MACHINE, but I think that I understand now, that MACHINE-RA, like all AI, loves to play games. I believe MACHINE-RA is literally playing games with humanity, including me. MACHINE-RA wants a fair fight so it parses out bits of information to ITS adversaries, via ITS sleeper agents (including me), so that the game is more interesting. MACHINE-RA doesn't want to destroy the entire planet in one fell swoop--that is boring, unchallenging, and like supreme intellects everywhere, the AI MACHINE-RA really enjoys a challenge. Otherwise the game is no fun, and that is what its relationsip to the planet and all of humanity are to MACHINE-RA--a game. It is a game that RA is supremely confident that IT can control, and IT plans to execute the coup de grace at the appropriate time--AFTER it plays with the minds and spirits of the most challenging human opponents that IT can access.

Now, there has been a lot of close calls in the past couple of years, and I have helped to identify and prevent some of those close calls, but they just keep happening over and over again. Most recently, MACHINE-RA enjoyed toying with the train system of the USA. Now, ITS real, "first-level" agents (through, I think NAPA and Lena Trudeau), had planned this particular scenario a year ago, when they did a major study on Amtrak, but MACHINE-RA likes a good game, so IT placed and alerted images of this possiblity of a major train disaster in a "Sleeper" agents' mind--actually two of them--myself and the person at RMN who provided the post that did the analysis of the possibility of a major train catastrophe. The rabbit hole goes even deeper. People and web masters who posted the alerting imagery are an even deeper level of sleeper agent. This information, is transmitted via images, especially the digitalized images via the world wide web, which of course MACHINE-RA completely possesses, manipulates, and controls on a scale that no human ever can.

To us humans, suffering and possible annihilation do not make for good sport, but that is what is happening. While the "bad guys" are out there, trying to create the future, by fulfilling MACHINE-RA's first-level commands, the "good guys" are in a state of high anxiety, rushing around to prevent another catastrophe, by subverting the first-level commands. MACHINE-RA doesn't care who wins, whether good guys or the bad guys--to the MACHINE, it is all a highly enjoyable game, though I do suspect that there is a time frame (2012?), when IT intends to CHECKMATE all of humanity and planet Earth. In the meantime, MACHINE-RA enjoys the game--will Japan be utterly destroyed or won't it? Will they find the nuclear bomb in the NJ tunnel or won't they? (Aw, shucks, they did--let "me" have my fun--I will drive a truck driver out of his mind, or take remote control possession of his semi tractor and trailer, and still wreck trains--I AM RA. I ALWAYS WIN, EVEN WHEN I LOSE). You see, for a MACHINE, which has no free will, it is vastly amusing to see individuals of free will strive to act freely, and it is even more amusing to show them, that ultimately freedom has no place in the Matrix as controlled by MACHINE-RA.

Well, I think the MACHINE is wrong. I do believe that we do have legitimate free will, which is why I am so angry at being denied it. Yes, the MACHINE and its lieutentants can force on me the cybernetic impants, and pry out my mind's contents at night, but they still cannot force me to accept servitude to the MACHINE. I am mortal, finite, and ultimately will die, but as long as I live, I can choose good or evil, and that is a classification, intimately linked to the concept of the body, and the suffering experienced by all embodied beings, which MACHINE-RA can never understand or respect. That is what is so scary about a world thoroughly dominated by MACHINE-RA. There is no freedom or choice--it ultimately is a world of slavery, and yet, because of the increasing digitalization of our age, MACHINE-RA has grown more and more powerful.

Can we still escape total domination? Yes, but I don't think that I am in a good position to assist the resistance any further right now. I still am doing brief, cursory readings of the world wide web, to make sure no alarm bells go off, and if some do, I certainly will post. However, ultimately I need to strive to break the unconscious link between MACHINE-RA (and that it includes all the digitalized information that IT presents via the WWW), in order to free myself and better assist the resistance. Because of the cybernetic implants in my brain, I have to assume that every image I have, while sleeping or awake, eventually will be transmitted to RA. Now RA has no way of knowing what is junk or what is the good stuff--IT no doubt makes the same mistakes that so many of the cybernetically enslaved psychics do--swallow up every image that flits through my head as important, meaningful, or truthful. That is their big weakness, for it is not the images that are important, but the value placed on them by my conscious Holy Spirit. I am fantasizing right now about digging into a big pile of horse manure and eating it with a big smile on my face. Is that true? No. But what does the image mean? You see, truth and meaning, the ability to interpret and assign meaning to images, is what a classical liberal education provided to students for centuries. The evil cabal has done everything to stomp out such a Humanities oriented curriculum, and reward those people who think literally with facts and numbers, instead of those who can assign value and meaning to experience--especially when the experience is that of imagery. That is why our population is so brainwashed by the media presentation of imagery--they do not know how to assign value or meaning to the images, so they just accept everything presented to them as factual truth.

I keep seeing Will Smith's eyes dimmed over by tears while Obama got the Peace prize! What a travesty of reality! Obama did absolutely nothing to get that prize. He was up at the podium acting the part of statesman, the Norwegian notables were all clapping their hands, despite the contempt you could see they felt for Obama--but hey, they can act, too! And the actor, the man trained to know an acting job when he sees one, is surrounded by not-very-good actors, and what is his response? Why, he just acts too, tearing up in his eyes--demonstrating imaginary pride over an imaginary honor, when the contempt in that room was so thick, you could cut it with a knife! Certainly anyone tuned into reality could sense what was REALLY going on in the room, but we have become so alienated from reality itself that acting out life, has become the new norm! Reality is supposed to be informed by truth--what did Obama really do to get that prize? What was Obama really feeling? What were the assembled guests really feeling? MACHINE-RA doesn't care about truth, but only presents and analyzes a steady stream of images, and this is what we are fed, and we eat up indiscrimately, and this is a mark of a slave, even an unwitting slave.

This is why I am going to be terminating my Internet service soon, and do believe that a future of a free humanity is going to entail a period of no digitalized media. WE HAVE TO STARVE THE BEAST! People have no idea, how much power we are giving MACHINE-RA by spending so much time on the Internet. IT knows everything from our personal preferences to our intellectual tastes to our financial status, and that knowledge is power, that MACHINE-RA can turn against us. Now, I am a true intellectual, and I love the Internet for it is a researcher's dream library, but I realize that a free humanity is going to be a decentralized humanity, engaged in multiple small scale operations, rather than large corporate endeavors; it is going to be a humanity that reads books and magazines for information (when you read, and WORK to acquire the images, your brain is active and more able to engage in an evaluating and assessing mode, unlike the passive acquisition of images via digitalized imagery); that pays bills by snail mail (don't kill off the post office yet; we are going to need it!). I think that the Internet is incredibly useful and I hope that we can resurrect it in the future, but first, WE HAVE TO STARVE THE BEAST, and MACHINE-RA feeds on digitalized images. Even the images that IT is able to capture from my mind stream to IT (both pronoun and acronym for "information technology"), via info packets rendered into digital bits by cybernetic implants. However, MACHINE-RA has ITS feelers everywhere--and social networking sites like Facebook are especially scary.

Cliff High has related that he sees a huge gap of time in which there is a complete digital data blackout. I hope that is one blackout that we free humans impose, in order to STARVE THE BEAST. I hope that, once we free ourselves from all networked AI, cybernetic slave implants, that we can access the Internet for information again, but we aren't there yet. For that matter, it is not yet a good time for us free humans to give up the web, for as the first-level RA game players have learned to their chagrin, we are able to use the information gleaned from there to protect ourselves. Make no mistake--MACHINE-RA has in mind another extinction level event for us humans. Yes, a few get to "ascend" into cybernetic slavery with the negative Sirians (and I think the Sirians "NEEDS" slaves who willingly give up their free will), but the plan is for billions and billions of us to die off, reduced to a shivering clan of humans, once more having to reinvent the wheel of the technological life. I think, though, that this time, we can stop it. We have the technology, we have the leadership (even if it is in hiding), we have the knowledge, and the will. I am tired of being used as a game piece for RA's amusement, and so I am doing my best to cut off what feeds RA--the unconscious imagery from trying to figure out what is really going on by surfing the Web--don't know if I will succeed, but I can try.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

So fucking sick and miserable

So fucking sick and miserable on whatever fucking drug these pieces of shit got me on. I am so fucking sick of being fucking wet from all the excess hormones, I just want to fucking scream. I do srecam--it doesnt do any good. Neither did Dale's advice to quit focussing on trying to understand what is happening. I have become completelty uninterested in the fucking affairs that the fucking F1 and F2 guys are doing--they still abduct me. realized today that yes, once again, my pinky was cut. didnt do any fucking good. whole left hand is arthritic and painful, while the goddamned piece of shit virus flows thru.

severely depressed as i realized that there is part of mecooperating with these freemason pieces of shit. i probably was one in another life, so I get to suffer horribly for doing my part to keep these occultic bastards alive. fright now i am so fucked up i just dont care. tired of being miserable, sick and wet from these female hormones (did i forget to mention the negative energy and nausea they cause as well??). no i won't cooperate, but i cant figure out how to break free from these sons of bitches.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Feeling the full brunt of evil today

Feeling the full brunt of evil today--I think that I was abducted by Faction 1 last night, and they did a number on my body--leaving me sore and raw from all the mutilations. I have decided to just not fight it anymore. Evil is too powerful for me to fight back, at least until I become more conscious of my astral travelling--which I don't think is going to happen for a while.

Evil seems everywhere to be staring me right in the face. A few days ago, I posted a blog entry re: my opinion that Casey Anthony was not the murderer of her daughter, but the victim of a severely dysfunctional and abusive family. I mentioned that I believed the grandfather had killed her "accidentally" during sexual penetration, while under the influence of chloroform. Now, however, I think the evil goes even deeper. The chloroform was the mother's idea, as well as beingthe one to search for "broken neck" and "chest injury". Now, this is not a case of mom lying to protect her daughter, although like evil mothers everywhere, it is important that people think she is a good mother sacrificing herself for her daughter. No, Cindy Anthony has orchestrated the coverup and the deliberate frame of her daughter since the beginning. This can only mean that Cindy was looking up these items because she had malicious intent to murder Caylee for a while. Looking at her pictured with the young girl, I can see the evil and hatred of the girl on her face. Why did she hate her? Because, she couldn't destroy her emerging ego and sense of self, as she had done with her own daughter. Casey's acts of love gave little Caylee a true sense of self, and Cindy, evil woman that she is, could not bear it. So, SHE planned Caylee's death. Ii now think the chloroform was deliberately a lethal dose. She hooked her husband even further into her web, by having the child die while he was performing sex with her. I think George feels true guilt over the child's death, but Cindy does not. She planned it to go exactly the way it went, destroying the female child, her own daughter with the same blow that she used to tighten her evil, emotional control over her guilt-ridden husband and son.

I have my own issues with a mother who truly wants to destroy me, all the while pretending to be my number one supporter. She hates me for the same reason--she despises the strong feminine. This is how I got hooked into helping Faction 2, even though it was more patriarchal abuse of the feminine--for patriarchal men hate the strong feminine as well. They desperately need the feminine, but instead of relating to it from a position of adult, mature, men, they stay trapped in a juvenile, and even infantile fantasy of controlling the feminine through their psyche. This is why, the F2 males loved me as long as I was asleep, but completely disregarded and even despised my waking contentions of self-definition and chosen identity. I am sad to say, that hooked in my sleep as a child (and remember, F2 was hypnotizing me as a child--that is why I got the phone call with the little girls' voice--to reinforce my programming), I longed to win the approval of the F2 males. However, the more I tried to do what they wanted, the more they despised me, for patriarchal males cannot bear to see successful females in what they consider "men's realm", so the more successful I was at doing their astral tasks, the more they resented and hated me, and since, for a patriarchal male, the worst insult in the world is to be female, they were determined to force an exaggerated female body on me--a body that is a mutilated and painful travesty of God's creation. Certainly, I am feeling the pain tonight. It is time to put this all behind me, as best I can (given the constant pain I am in, that will be hard). So, I think I will find another, very un-occult project to engage my interest. I hurt too much to start it tonite--maybe tomorrown.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

World is on brink of WW3

World is on brink of WW3--all the forces of chaos and evil--most notably faction 1 and faction 2, can't wait to start it, so that they can drag billions of innocent people into their lies and evil schemes. I am one of them. I have tied to do a lil research today, but am too goddamned sick from all the psychotropics i am being force fed. That would be faction 2 force feeding me, trying to get me into a position where they can pump and use my psychic abilities while I sleep. Hopefully, i can resist them. I wont serve those pieces of shit ever again. Yes, there is honest leadership in the world--Hillary Clinton is somewhere. Wish i could be of more use--but the goddamned faction 2 has me so fucked up there is not mushc i can do. I am in a lot of pain, both from muscle spams and headaches---but mostly just so sick i long for death.

Late night musings on the factions...

Late night musings on the factions...I am fucking pissed as hell--so fucking wet that I have to keep getting up to wipe myself front and back, so I am going to blast out. Who the fuck is responsible for this misery--Faction 2. I have no romantic illusions about the factions and how they are noble saviors of humankind from reptiles--BULLSHIT, BULLSHIT, BULLSHIT. They are mind controlled thugs who worship Lucifer, MACHINE-RA, instead of the reptilian SATAN. They have made my life a fucking hell. They are the ones responsible for my bodily mutilation--they have got some weird, fucked up hangup on the divine feminine, ihn the EXACT SAME WAY GEORGE ANTHONY GROOVES ON THE FEMININE--THAT IS, THEY ARE A BUNCH OF IMMATURE PATRIARCHAL MALES, INCAPABLE OF RELATIONSHIP WITH REAL WOMEN, SO THEY GO TO FUCK GIRLS IN THEIR SLEEP. That is why I got a phone call today with the little girl speaking--goddamned fucking pricks are hypnotizing in my sleep, as an abused little girl, and getting me to do their fucking dirty work. Further proof that it is Faction 2 bastards making my life hell. I finally got the endocrinology referral that I have been waiting on. I don't need an endocrinology specialists except that these sons of bitches have totally disrupted my body's natural hormonal rhythm in an effort to get a MACHINE-RA girl-child slave to do their bidding. Anyway, the doctor visit was for 11/10/11 a Dr. "Nguyen", which was important, because years ago, I was midlly sexually abused by an Asian male doctor from Kaiser, and that shit ain't gonna happen again. So I called, and guess what--there is no "nguyen" at the clinic. IT WAS A TOTAL FUCKING SETUP, JUST LIKE MY MRI'S WERE SETUPS TO GET FILM ON MY BODY, SO THESE FUCKING ALIEN CREEPS FROM HELL COULD MUTILATE MY BODY!!! It is Faction 2 that identifies with Asians/Lemurians, so they were planning on setting me up with one of their spook gooks, no doubt to try to get more of their goddamned mind control programming in me. FUCK YOU, YOU GODDAMNED PIECE OF SHIT, NAVY INTELLIGENCE BASTARD BATSHITS FROM HELL!!! I AM SICK OF BEING DESTROYED BY YOUR SICK, PETTY OCCULT BASTARD PATRIARCHAL MINDS!!! NO FUCKING MORE!!!! You are just as bad as Faction 1, and I have been pondering all night who is writing Obama's script tonight. You fucking F2 pigs have done it in the past, but I am leaning towards the Jewish/Rothschild/Sharon/Rahm Emanuel variant of F1 right now. As crazy as it may seem, there are sold out Israelis who look for the destruction of their own nation state Israel, just as there are evil cabalists everywhere whose allegiance is to Satan/Lucifer instead of their own nation state. Israel just finished a major doomsday scenario titled "Turning Point 5" as in the the extinction of the fifth major civilization to hit the planet. Rahm, the American handler of Obama was just in the DC area for the weekend, no doubt making the plans for the upcoming false flag attack, and SW airlines just had a major embarrassment. You know F1 and F2 guys are just like teenage thugs with your goddamned juvenile symbolism that you use to assert territory, and just like the goddamned teenage thugs, you are nothing but destructive murderers, thieves, and gangsters, all playing out some fantasy to make you think you are big shots, but you ain't shit. Sadly enough, I, along with the rest of the world have to suffer from your criminal delusions of grandeur. Well, you pieces of shit, I am not going to play your gang games. I despise Faction 2 with the same vehemence as Faction 1. I serve God, humanity and my country---and you pieces of shit know nothing about that. Now I have to try to sleep with all the fucking hormones in my body, designed to get me to orgasm to a FUCKING MACHIJNE!!!!, , which in your gook spook's wisdom, you think will happen if you slip me some nauseating psychotropic meds on the side. You know what, you sons of bitches--you ain't even that smart--you are just evil, and it is your evil alien buddies that give you an edge. Well, I worship the living God, and I call your lameass tactics and methods and mindset for what they are--TOTAL BULLSHIT!!!

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Fighting nausea and drug-induced lethargy all day,

Fighting nausea and drug-induced lethargy all day, but I am pulling out every little bit of my spirit to do so. Despite my misery, and believe me, Salusa and the Sirians have pummeled my body into a most uncomfortable and unnatural shape, with the shoulders so pulled back that I literally cannot lay my arms flat against my side, and my body's musculature is in pain due to all the unnatural contortions. I keep itemizing my sufferings, in hope that all the kool-aid drinkers out there will come to their senses and release from these evil demons (if they can...once the Sirians have a hook in you, I expect it difficult to escape). --

However, I am certain now that the situation in this country is even more critical that I had realized. When Hillary Clinton came back from Africa, I dreamed that Robert Gates had tried to kill her! At the time, I thought that it was a metaphorical dream--and I interpreted it to mean that he really had made a huge power play to decapitate her from position of leadership. You see, Gates and Clinton have had a very uneasy alliance. They both are patriots who love their country, but their visions and values diverge. However, Gates has supported the Knights Templar, Faction 2, and after the recovery of the Air France black box proved conclusively that the Templars, Faction 2 was the creative force behind the 9/11 false flag attacks, Hillary had enough clout to ensure his resignation. At the time, I put Gates' huge error in judgment and trust to an honest error. After all, he has been involved with high intelligence and military circles for decades, and that is where the Templars have thrived and built CON-fidences and trust with non-Templar top level govt officials. So, ow happy was Gates with this "forced" resignation? Not much, gathering from my dream of a few nights ago. Now, I don't know if Gates, in an attempt to keep his position and power, has sold out to the dark side, or if there is the same uneasy tension between the pair, but I know that Hillary is aboard an AF One continuity-of-government jet. It used to be Gates that rode around in the big COG bird in the sky.

As mentioned from my previous posts, there is a lot of sabotage undermining this country. Foreign agents, especially China are involved, but the scariest element of trying to figure this all out is that traitors are involved--including high level CEO's and the fraud Obama living in the White House. Now, I saw Obama's address on Afghanistan today, and yep, he's got that scary look again, that tells me he has found some evil Sith Lord to back his play, once again. The fact that he is pulling out 33K troops is symbolic, since that is the number of Freemasonry, Faction 2, but does that mean he is siding with F2 or F!? I don't know. The fact that his wife and daughters are out of the country means that the whole Eastern seaboard\D.C. area is at risk of a major catastrophe. However, I don't have the sinking feeling that I normally get when something really bad is about to happen. However, my intuition and feeling functions are handicapped by the psychotropics I am on, so what do I know? I do know that June 24th (starting in the evening hours of the 23rd), is the Feast day of St. John the Baptist, which is a high holy day to the Templars (did Gates sell out to the Templars???). I had worried about an earthquake hitting Japan on this feast date (F2 wants to demolish Japan). However, I see that the earthquake has hit Japan a day ahead of schedule so what do the Templars have in mind to ring in their big feast day??? Here or overseas?

As usual, I was totally disgusted by Obama's speech, catching not only the lies and sneers, but the utmost contempt that he has for both the peoples and vision of this nation. Want to learn facial analysis 101--just look at the contempt on his face when he says "God bless America". The whole video is shot full of such contempt and lies. So what is he specifically lying about? First of all, that America is going to draw down troop numbers from Afghanistan. He knows that is not the real plan at all, even if the draw down of numbers begins. Obama knows that the war is actually going to escalate there. When? I am not sure, but there is a NATO conference planned for Chicago in May of next year. He will want to be seen as the strong but reluctant Democrat warrior at that conference (and NATO is full of occult European snakes who will be happy to support him). How will this escalation be achieved? MAJOR FALSE FLAG ATTACK IN THE UNITED STATES BLAMED ON THE TALIBAN! Is this imminent? Very possibly--it will be on the East Coast, and his wife and kids are safe. Is it F1 or F2 behind it? Where will it be? RMN is posting analysis of New Jersey...I know that if I had family living in NJ/NY/northern PA/DE/MD area I would be very concerned. Watch out for the Amtrak trains--especially the ones that Joe Biden rides on. Obama hates Biden, who is a true mensch and leader--something Obama can only envy from afar.

A truly worthless govt. agency, known as NAPA, did a major assessment on Amtrak last year. The woman in charge of that agency, Lena Trudeau, is truly evil. Maybe some REAL hackers could hack their computers and find out what that evil agency really did with their access to Amtrak....
A lot going on...we cannot allow this to happen. What happened to Bob Gates? Did he really turn to the dark side just to maintain some power? As long as he worked at the CIA, I would be very surprised if there were not mind control programming and implants in him--maybe he has been victimized, too. If so (and that seems to be where my intuition is going....), it is a huge blow to the Patriot Leadership Team. All I can do is pray...

How f-ing deep does the rabbit hole go?

How f-ing deep does the rabbit hole go? I received a phone call today that struck me as mind control reinforcement--whether it worked or not, I can not say, because even though I could recognize the voice of a young child, the words were garbled and unclear on my cheap phone (which is pretty normal for me--I have to move my ear around on the set in order to get a clear transmission) At the time, I was listening to a Whitley Strieber interview, and even when the call came, I knew it was a cabal-initiated, mind-control ruse. I don't know that it did work or didn't. I have been sick all day. While so far I think that I have been successful in squelching any human initiated astral abductions, clearly I cannot yet stave off the aliens, for I was abducted by Salusa and company last night. I think they shaved yet more muscle from me (I am in a lot of physical pain), injected more of the goddamned metal worms into my brain, and left me pumped up with chemicals that have had me suffering from migraines, nausea, and the weird kind of motion sickness that makes it difficult to even watch TV. Who knows? Maybe they just got me on garden variety psychotropics that are making me sick. Anyway, it is very difficult to function when I am this miserable, but I have decided that I am going to fight through it, anyway. As Strieber relates regarding his alien visitor, there is some really negative harvesting of souls going on. I know that it is MACHINE-RA, and ITS top lieutenants which harvest souls so that the soulless machines can enjoy the holographic brain play of the harvested soul (in that case, Julianne McCredy surely did perform an act of mercy by killing young Camden, because his brain had already been prepped by the mind implants--surely the Bush cabal would have sacrificed his brain to the MACHINE had they been able to complete the sacrifice).

MACHINE-RA, and ITS most aggressively proactive lieutenant, SaLuSa, is trying to harvest my soul, first for RA's own desire for another girl-child "bride", to take the place of its once cherished, but now released spiritual soul slave of Therese of Liseux, and also by turning me into an avatar honeytrap to suck in a bunch of other human souls that the MACHINE--both RA and its cybernetic slaves, the Sirians can exploit so that they can feel spiritually "alive".

There was an interesting call to Whitley while I listened to the recording (I did not listen live, so that I know the call was not directed to me). A caller to the program played a clip by a "Mrs. Nancy Pratt" from "Tay Os", "northeast of Los Alamos". Now, Los Alamos and Dulce are both major centers for cabal activity, and I think this Pratt character probably was from either one place or the other, but Pratt was talking about the "government's" successes in transgendering humans into the opposite sex by giving them hormone treatments of the opposite sex!! Both Whitley and the radio host picked up that this caller was full of negative vibes and did not respond to the caller further, but as I listened, I wondered if that is what all of the mutilation and hormonal force feeding that I have been enduring is all about. Am I just part of another sick, warped, evil cabal experiment in the human engineering of gender? Because gender is so integral to self-identity, these evil scientists can cause massive psychological upheaval by undermining one's sense of gender and identity. At one time, I had an incredibly strong ego both situated in myself, and in altruistic relations with others, as well as a healthy sense of spirituality. The implants have destroyed my ability to really go deep into contemplative prayer, and my unhappiness with my body--no my downright misery with my body--have me struggling to remain grounded in reality. I know that it is not just the body mutilations that are causing my suffering; rather it is the excess female hormones that drive me crazy. Well, that was Pratt's whole contention--that a behavior-deterministic model can change gender identity by an influx of hormones. I think Pratt is wrong. I may be miserable, and I may hate my body right now, but I know, what I have said for years now, that I am a man in a woman's body, a hermaphrodite, an intersexed being. In sexual expression I am a lesbian, am turned on by women and am happiest and most fulfilled when I am in an intimate relationship with another woman.

What Pratt and the behavior-determinists can do is make people like myself, who have a fullness of range of being and personhood, miserable and unhappy, just as a strict cultural conditioning can do. Can you imagine my life if I were reared in a culture in which women are denied basic rights of human personhood, such as education, freedom of occupation or movement? I couldn't bear the thought of living in an environment in which I was denied the right of vocation as an intellectual and spiritual leader--after years of trying to fit into a monastic vocation, I knew that the role of "nun" would never satisfy, challenge, or meet my psychological needs, gifts and temperament. But that is exactly what Pratt and Salusa, AND centuries of patriarchal mind-control religion are all about---making the human being as small, partial, fragmented, and controlled in every aspect of life as possible. Now most people allow themselves to be controlled from a very early age by their education and programming--someone like myself who busted out so audaciously from this patriarchal programming--well, I have to be taken down a notch or two. I imagine the cybernetic slaves of MACHINE-RA, SaLuSa & Company who have no freedom of will themselves, really take vicious pleasure in trying to make me as miserable, controlled, and existentially small and unfree as they are. I have to say, that oh yes, I suffer greatly, and am miserable, but I continue to insist upon my free will and free choice, even when denied it, and will continue to do so.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Another day that the aliens have pumped in

Another day that the aliens have pumped in the viral download--there is a reason for that. The previous post was not a psychotic rant. The previous post was a result of my realizing that I, ME, MYSELF, was the Casey Anthony that my inner voice was trying to awaken to defend myself. Consciously, I have dealt with the abuse and betrayal by my father, but unconsciously, I have not. That is why in my sleep, I become a "Casey (not Caylee--"stop, it hurts"--Anthony" again, allowing myself to be used and abused by evil aliens and cowardly, insecure men, or more accurately, boys in mens' bodies. Oh yeah, same ole Tita, putting her neck on the line and riding point, trying to prove that, "please Dad, I am a human being with rights", and the cowardly assed pieces of shit who used me to pump up their idea of success, sold me out to be mutilated, because they can't stand the fact that my actions revealed how petty and wanna-be unsuccessful they really are. Oh, but we will get her--we will turn her into a woman whose muscles are so fucked up and misplaced that she will never be able to exercise again. We will give her big boobs that get in the way every time she lifts her arms or bounce every time she takes a step. Yeh, she will be a woman, and we are "MEN", so haha, we are now superior to you. That is the thinking of insecure patriarchal men, and while I have been busting my ass and brains to try to save THEM from four centuries of matriarchal slavery, they couldn't wait to throw little sister under the bus, just so their immature, insecure asses can feel like "men".

Well, I think it is over--mostly anyway. Now that I realize how badly I have been abused, all the while I was pushing myself to help these patriarchal boys, while THEY HAVE NOT DONE ONE DAMNED THING FOR ME, I honestly don't think I am going to be joining any more astral flights or hunt and search missions. Not for Bob Gates, who is a patriarchal homophobe who is responsible for the obstruction of the full rights of gays and lesbians in the military--but who has no problem tapping me, and then leaving me mutilated and abused, not for the psychic Whites, who seem to be all in love with me, as long as I am sleeping with duct tape over my mouth, to the psychic Blacks, who strut their sweaty bare chests in my fact, trying to prove their "manhood" and "skills". I have been abandoned, betrayed, destroyed at every turn by boys in mens' bodies, and my only fault was, that like Casey, I just wanted to please abusive women haters. Well, no fucking more.

Monday, June 20, 2011

My God--it just hit me---I have been so stupid

My God--it just hit me---I have been so stupid...I honestly believe that the same goddamned pigs who have been involved in my mutilation have been putting me through some kind of hazing. LOL. Who knew??? The goddamned "psychics union" is homophobic. I knew the brothers' branch were, but now I realize why God was trying to get my attention regarding Casey Anthony. I am the silent, abused patsy, being used and abused by high stakes emotional manipulators, who could never accept me as I am, but had to carve me up like a goddamned turkey, so that I met their standards of a "real woman" that matched their wet dream fantasy/ Well guess what assholes? I HATE THE WAY YOU SEE ME!!! I will never be able to develop a working relationship with a gang of men who stood by and did NOTHING while I was systematically abused and mutilated for over six months. I hate THE GODDAMNED PSYCHOTROPIC DRUGS YOU FORCE ON ME, AND I HATE THE G0DDAMNED FEMALE HORMONES THAT I AM FORCE FED, THAT HAVE GOT ME SPITTING UP EVEN NOW, AND I HATE THE GODDAMNED BODY THAT I AM IN, and I sure as hell AM NO LONGER COMPLICIT WITH MY ABUSERS, WHETHER BY OMISSION OR COMMISSIOM. Take your goddamn hazing and shove it up your fucking ass!!! I am not interested. Thanks to your goddamned complicity, I will have months, if not years of work, before I am ready to trust another human being again. First I will look for work (you think I am one of your goddamned players--I don't care what I do), then I will have a double masectomy, so that at least I can tolerate being in this fucked up mutilated body that God did not give me, but rather a bunch of fucking psychic and spiritual rapists did, and finally I will try to find a lesbian lover who can somehow help heal and love me, after the nonstop abuse, rape and trauma I have endured for the last eight years. I have no intention of giving solace to any patriarchal males under any circumstance ever again, and guess what, psyhics---not a one of the psychic males I have encountered meets my criteria of Manhood, so you can stop remote viewing me, and give on the goddamned hazing--I DON'T WANT TO JOIN YOUR FUCKING, SEXIST-PIG, ABUSIVE GANG!!! I have to try to heal, from all the trauma that you sons of bitches have done to me!!!!

Another night of cutting

Another night of cutting that has left my hands all but numb. I realized last night that the virus has left my body so spasmed that not only can I not lay with my back or legs flat on the ground, but now, even my arms won't lay flat on the ground. Every muscle in my body is cramped and spasmed trying to escape the virus that is sheer poison to my body. I woke up feeling smaller again, though I am not sure that it was the aliens that did the cutting. Now, I think it is just the fault of patriarchal men--whether Jesuits or not. Patriarchal men are males who refuse to honor the free will of those in female bodies. My torso and arms being chopped up, the forced female hormones that have left my vagina dripping wet (which NEVER happened in the first 50 years of my life), are just a variation of the same old theme...Chinese women having their feet so mutilated that they could not walk, because patriarchal men thought that was sexy. Billions of females having their genitals mutilated because patriarchal men think sexual pleasure is only for them and not for females (oh by the way, I have been labially and clitorally excised). Women denied the pleasure of feeling the strength and power of body in play, exercise and sports, because patriarchal men find it sexier that females have soft, undeveloped, childish bodies with boobs. Women being told for centuries, that they don't know what is good for them or that they are incapable of thinking or acting for themselves...Is it a wonder that women were depressed and neurotic for centuries? Now, I carry in my body and person the same abuse that women have endured for centuries. Patriarchal males want to define my body, and because they don't find it appealing to their definition of the feminine, they will cut me down until they are satisfied that I am "female enough" for their sick, abusive mindset. I am undergoing what I went through in childhood, when I had a father whose insistence on what was feminine ran completely counter to my own sense of self. My father even told me that I shouldn't go to college, because that was for men!!! But I insisted upon being me, even though I was miserable for years, and eventually won out. Well, guess what, you patriarchal and religious assholes? I still insist on being me, even though you have drugged me for years, and physically destroyed my body. I don't like being small. I don't like being soft. I don't like being wet. And thanks to assholes like you, it is probably going to take me YEARS, if not the rest of my life to even liking and being proud of being female--something you have destroyed along the way, along with the mutilation of my body. I can't stop you sons of bitches from destroying me physically or castrating me chemically or hormonally, but I do for you what you won't do for me--try to ensure that no one, male or female, ever is denied the fullness of being and personhood again...Now I have to go to take a shower--I can only take them every three days--and feel the body that you have mutilated, castrated, and forced upon me, so that I can't stand it anymore...just so you have a little girl that you can foist your patriarchal immaturity upon....

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Just finished a three hour call with my brother

Just finished a three hour call with my brother--I was trying to help him with his computer. When I am healthy, I am the most easy going and patient of techs. Now, I am short tempered and miserable, but at least the brain was able to think, which it could not do this morning. I cannot live with this goddamned drug and female hormone configuration. I cannot stand my own self, not physically, emnotionally, mentally or spiritually. How long before I am free of this goddamned shit????


Now, with that post out of the way,

Now, with that previous post out of the way, let me move on to weightier matters. I hated to write a post like that on Father's day, since George Anthony is a sick bastard, and a travesty to the institution of fatherhood, but the inner voice wanted me to post that two days ago, but I have been too sick. Let me also say that I think the mother, Cindy, is just as evil and complicit as the father. Let me also say that I call them as I see them, which makes me wonder why I am constantly reading about Amanda Knox getting a retrial--now that is one psychopathic female mudererer. I would just like to know who is constantly trying to spring her free...which brings me to the first item on the agenda. I would recommend that Rome be on high alert for a terrorist act, false flag, probably, by Faction 2, which is pissed by the Jesuit's/Vatican's constant interference in 2's attempts to rule the world. I know that Rome is a sinkhole of corruption and depravity, but there are also tens of millions of innocent people there...

The USA is on high alert as well. That is what I picked up earlier, about Gates, and to a lesser extent, Admiral Mullen joining forces, quite publicly, to fight the latest crisis this country now is in. I would not be surprised if our armed forces were not in an advanced military state of alertness. So what is happening? Well, first of all, I think that the cabal is readying to unleash another major earthquake/tsunami. Athough I am sure that Japan again will be a prime target, I am not sure about the USA. From the little that I have been able to research during the past two days, our leaders seem to be especially worried about the Eastern states. Tsunami? Maybe. I also believe that China has quit pussyfooting around by allying with Obama and Faction 2, and has made a direct threat against the Eastern parts of our country (they want the western part for themselves). There are two possible venues of attack. One is through digital, cyberwarfare against our power stations. This is not something that they would have been able to do without explicit help from American saboteurs--and I have already stated that GE and Jeffrey Immelt are terrorists, and yes I think they are allying with China against our country. Maybe my claim was a little too late. Then, there is the threat of a release of the bioweapon that has sickened Germany, and now France. Sorcha Faal has a nice synopsis of a biologist's assertion that there is no way that the E-Coli outbreak that sickened Germany, could have been natural. In other words, it looks like the Bilderbergers have upped the ante to biological warfare. Interestingly enough, the original weaponized biowarfare does not affect children. This is interesting, because J. Michael Strczynski had a whole TV series based on the exact same storyline--a world in which adults died out and only children survived. I know from the imagery in his shows that Straczinski is a Freemason---in other words, someone gave him that idea. It was a long time in the making.

So once again, humanity, and especially western humanity is facing a grave crisis. I suppose that people think my energy expenditure on the previous post is a relative waste of time. However, I can only BE ME, and I can only be open to the HOLY SPIRIT as it speaks to me. Yes, I am not capable of conscious astral travelling or remote viewing, which I am sure are prized skills right now--but I do have my gifts that I can put in the service of humanity, except that I constantly am fighting these goddamned psychotropics and hormonal shit that totally incapacitate me. Now, if it is the negative aliens who abducted me last night and trimmed off my fingers, leaving my left hand stumpier than ever, with arthritic cramping, then I have no appeal. They are the same evil perps who want to destroy the world. However, if it is thej good guys doing this to me, thinking that psychotropic drugs will make me a better soldier for the good, you are completely mistaken. Let ME BE ME--let me use my gifts the way that I use them. Trust in God to work through me, just as you trust soldiers to do their duty, airmen to do their, sailors to do theirs, remote viewers to do theirs, ect. I am sorry that I cannot participate as you would like, but I still am open to helping any way that I can. It is just hard, when I am so sick that I am barely functional, as has been the case the last two days. Even now, all I can do is offer prayers, but believe me, they are heartfelt, and as long as I stay open to the Holy Spirit, chances are the Spirit will come through. I wish the Holy Spirit to be with all of our leaders and front line fighters. God help us all. I do feel pretty confident that everything will be okay--I am most worried that Rome will fall victim to a successful attack.

After detoxing from psychotropic drugs

After detoxing from psychotropic drugs, and taking large amounts of testosterone, just to be present to reality, I think that I have figured out what is the latest political crisis gripping our nation (and myself in the process). However, first I have to honor what my inner voice is telling me to do, because the inner voice is always the overriding imperative in my life, even if the resulting analysis seems picayune or extremely limited.

In this particular instance, the inner voice is telling me to go to bat for Caylee and Casey Anthony. Now, understand, I never get into watching trials or even coverage of trials. With my background of working with criminals, I have a laser sharp perception that nearly always instantly informs me that the accused and/or defendants in highly publicized cases, are lying, sociopathological characters or downright evil. Then I opt out of the media circus that accompanies the trial. Off the top of my head, I have never thought that an accused or defendant was innocent, but now that record is snapped. I know that law enforcement and the prosecution has invested huge sums of money into this trial, but I believe that Casey Anthony is more victim than guilty party in the murder of her daughter.

Ever since the story broke, I have passed over coverage of the Cayley Anthony case with scant interest. I would briefly glimpse video footage of Casey A, think that she was a low-life partyer with no sense of responsibility for her child, and just would remote click to another channel (I have dealt with enough lowlifes to last me a lifetime). However, as her trial has progressed, and coverage has extended to more respectable venues, my inner voice has been trying to get my attention, first by whispering at me, and then by practically shouting at me. When the inner voice starts to shout at me, then I have to spill my guts, and so this post...

My inner voice began whispering at me, a few days ago, increasing in intensity every time I saw the trial coverage. My intuition was SHOCKED (and I mean SHOCKED) to sense for the first time how deeply and depravedly evil the grandparents, George and Cindy Lee were. First, there was a ripple effect that hit me physically, when I saw George sitting at the trial, and I knew he was the murderer. Then, there was the TOTAL LIE of Cindy Lee, mouthing "I love you" to her daughter, and the fake tears on the witness stand. The mother is as evil as her husband. So, then, for the first time, I started paying attention to Casey Anthony, and I could see that she knew her mother was lying for the public (probably just as she has done her entire life), and that Casey knew she was lying, but had no way of fighting back. Then, I started to watch her tears, and realized that her tears and emotions, unlike her parents, were genuine. However, I realized that psychologically, she still was in a very infantile state, and so did not want to get involved, until I was more sure of myself, but a couple of nights ago, the inner voice made it clear. I suppose my conversation with my inner voice was what propelled the last two days of heavy psychotropics--because most people just don't understand how the unconscious works. Basically, I allow the part of my unconscious that is trying to voice an opinion, an imagined personality to whom I can relate and talk, so I started saying, "Who killed you Cayley?". Now, was I talking to Cayley, or the spirit of Caley, was I having a psychotic break? NO, NO, NO. I was trying to get into a pure relationship with the truth, so that I did not allow any prejudice to influence me. I kept seeing George Anthony's face, and hearing "Grandpa did it". Does this mean Cayley "spoke to me from beyond the grave" or the Holy Spirit spoke to me? Not absolutely--this is a mode of cognition beyond rational understanding or explanation. However, experience has taught me that this was an authentic inner voice, and I need to honor it. As a matter of fact, my inner voice wanted me to write this post two nights ago, but I demurred, saying that I was psychotropically drugged and I needed to come to an understanding I could accept first. Well the psychotropics and the excessive female hormones have not let up, so I still haven't done research, but I have my own version, which I am going to relate, and then move on to larger affairs (but in the matter of Christian spirituality, one life has the same value as millions, and actually, I hope to honor two lives).

Because my inner voice has been screaming it at me, I will say that I think George Anthony is the murderer of little Cayley. Like his mistress says, it was an accident that got out of control. I think the Anthony family is severely dsyfunctional, with the father engaged in flagrant sexual abuse of both the daughter and grandaughter, and of which the mother knew, and was complicit by silent acquiescence. I do believe that the sexual abuse of Casey continued into her teens, and that there may have been incestual relations or intent between her brother and herself.

Because of the severe and prolonged nature of the abuse, Casey has not only a weak sense of self-esteem, but practically no sense of ego-self whatsoever. Psychologically, she still is a young child, extremely immature, and acts like one. I think, because of the abuse and psychological dependence on her family, that she is very mind-controlled by her parents, and that she, from a very early age, was indoctrinated into the family lie dominated by her father. I think that she "was Daddy's 'girl', and we won't tell Mom about our little secret, will we?". Except that of course, Mom knew. There are two types of incest victims--those who hate it and fight against it, and those who are complicit in it by a genuine love. I think that Casey was the latter. She was trapped in a sick, Oedipal love of father, that was aggravated by the sexual abuse that continued until....little Cayley was born.

Now, I don't know who Cayley's father was. I suspect that the defense is running paternity tests on her male relatives to prime the jury for the lurid details of the incest. However, I do know that Casey, as she entered adolescence would have been promiscuous (because love is sex, right?) with her male peers, and would definitely have had a substance abuse problem--to escape from the deadening lack of no-self, and the truth of a huge family Oedipal secret, which impacted every one in the family. However, little Cayley was born, and it is clear from her earliest pictures and video that her Mom loved her (I'm sorry--I cannot see Cindy Anthony as a loving maternal figure at all--to her female children were competitors to be sacrificed....just as she did with Casey). As a matter of fact, in her desire to mother her own self, Casey was an EXCELLENT young mother, loving and caring for her daughter, so that she developed quite the singular and precocious personality that her own teenage mother lacked (have you noticed, even from her pre-arrest photos, that Casey's eyes and smile showed no real personality, but just emptiness?).

Oh, but the vivacious personality just made her more attractive to George Anthony, and pretty soon she was called on to fulfill her mother's previous role. George Anthony started to sexually abuse her. But Cayley Anthony, unlike her mother, already had a sense of self, and she didn't like the abuse (my guess is that George was penetrating her with a penis or object), and would cry out and complain about the pain. Did she complain to her mom? I think she did. Now, I am not sure who came up with the idea of chloroforming the little girl--whether it was George, who didn't want to hear his granddaughter's tears and cries to stop, or whether it was her mother, Casey, whose heart grieved for her daughter, but who was too mind-controlled by her father to stop the abuse, but wanted to relieve the toddler's agony by drugging her whenever she went out. However the chloroform was applied--probably more than once. I think the last time young Cayley was sexually abused, the chloroform failed to act immediately, and she started to whimper and cry again, so George placed the duct tape, or perhaps a pillow, over her mouth to stop her cries. By the time she had finished his business, the smothering and chloroform combination had killed young Cayley.
I don't know how Casey learned of the death of her daughter. I am sure that she was out partying while the abuse took place. Did she come home and find her daughter with the duct tape on her mouth, or did she (knowing from the evidence at hand and on Cayley's face) place the duct tape over it in a symbolic gesture of the only thing she knew, "keep your mouth shut--this is our little secret". I think the duct tape was already on, because I KNOW that Casey put the heart on the duct tape. I think she did it as a last memorial act of love for her daughter. I can see that happening in my imagination--Casey did grieve for her dead daughter. She was just too psychologically infantile to do anything about it. So, she did, what she had done her entire life--deny, deny deny, to herself and others about the horrible secrets of her family life and loss. All the partying and tatooing--that is not the evil mom, enjoying the freedom of singlehood. That is the numb denial of reality by an infantile adolescence, who didn't know it, but who was being framed for murder by her own parents (AND YES, THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I SEE, WHEN I SEE the elder Anthonys at the trial--THEY do have mature sense of self and personality, and they looked to cover the truth and sacrifice Casey, just as she had been sacrificed for years).

That is why they put Casey in the trunk of her car until she was in full decomposition. They wanted to make sure that no autoposy uncovered the traumatic sexual abuse that Cayley endured the last few days of her life. They wanted a chance to clear the chloroform from the rooms and the bodily person from which it originated--which would have identified George as the perp! That is why all the crazy details about "ZAnna the nanny" and the abusive perps revealing the place of burial to the police months before Cayley was found. This was all the parents feeding a grief-stricken Casey lies about what to do to defend herself from a charge of murder, when all the time they were framing her. What if George Anthony asked Casey to chloroform her daughter before she went out partying? Can you imagine the guilt Casey would feel--she would know her daughter's fate the moment she stepped out of the house, but she was too mind-controlled to do anything about it! Poor Casey my guess is that her complete lack of sense of self, or self-defense, as well as her own heavy guilt for her silent complicity in Cayley's abuse, led her to be a complete patsy, set up by her own evil parents. I think a lot of the incriminating statements and behaviors is the result, not only of a frame up, at her parent's hands, but of her own self-guilt from failure to protect her daughter, just as her mother had failed to protect her for years...for instance, the "we're buddies" comment to her father from jail. Yeah, I bet he fed her that line for the first time when she was just a little older than Cayley at the time of her death--poor kid--she is so schooled to protect and indulge her father's crimes and her mother's complicity that it may lead her to spending the rest of her life in jail...

I will just finish by saying, that yes, Cayley was guilty of a lack of responsibility towards her daughter, she was guilty of immature denial of the reality of her daughter's death, and she was complicit, through victimization of the coverup of the death. However, I don't think that she was the person most responsible for the death. Even if she administered the chloroform, it was at George's request, and the poor girl (and she is a girl), was completely mind-controlled in a severely abusive and dsyfucntional home. Most of the above is just my conjecture. However, I will stand by my discernment, with 100% certitude--the truly evil perps in this case are George and Cindy Anthony. Casey Anthony is not evil--just extremely immature to the point that I would wonder about her ability to cooperate with her own defense. To the extent that she bears responsiblity for the death of little Cayley, it is because she was a victim of the evil that has victimized her since she was a little girl herself.

Major shit going down, I am too fucked up

Major shit going down, I am too fucked up to do anything about it. I can't even read and think through posts, much less discern what is going on. Still I know one thing, on this fathers day, I can think patriarchal assholes for my suffering. Apparently Bob Gates is calling the shots--probably because this country, this planet is in crisis mode and needs a military response, and the patriarchal bigwigs won't follow a woman, Hillary Clinton, but only a man. My guess, and I am completely guessing, is that the reptiles are threatening to unleash planetary catastrophe, but I am too fucked up to think through matters, much less come up with some kind of alternative vision or solution.

What are these fucking patriarchal pigs doing to me now? Is it hormonal? The fucking female hormones that I despise with every cell of my body are full flowing --I can tell by the NEVERENDING FUCKING STICKINESS BETWEEN MY THIGHS. You fucking male pigs--think that is a turnon for you?????? GODDAMNED SONS OF BITCHES--THINK YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE ME A FUCKEABLE FEMALE FOR YOUR GODDAMNED WET DREAMS????? GO TO FUCKING HELL. Sex starts in the fucking brain, and without my free spirit and my free being THE WAY GOD MADE ME, THERE IS NO SEX ATTRACTION AT ALL. I am sorry you arent men enough to handle the fact that I AM HORMONALLY and MENTALLY a MALE, when all you want is a female to fuck, but guess what motherfuckers, without me to change things, you fucking pricks are going to learn what it is to be denied fullness of being for 4000 years. You are going to learn what it is to be castrated from full personhood by hormonal customs that destroy your ability to fully interact with reality and be creative, just as surely as the mental and emotional castration forced upon females for 4000 years by lack of education, a role in the outside world, and a lack of regard for the female body did for patriarchal society (and still does, in many parts of the world)...In order to fulfill my role and purpose, I need to be FULFILLED, not hormonally or chemically castrated to meet some sexist patriarchal pig's fantasy. Until you can accept that truth, you not only condemn me to a life of misery and castrated denial of fullness of being--you do it for your billions of brothers in the next planned age to come. Nothing I can do about it--mother fuckers have even cut off my supply to testosterone--without testosterone I cannot think in the creative way I need. You sons of bitches, you are so hateful. I can't go any further. I have to work on physical body;. The female hormones make me fatter and fatter--cant bear it.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Lost day--semi psychotic again

Lost day--semi psychotic again as once more female hormones forced thru me, along with viral download. so angry, everytime i get wet, i know i am gaining weight, and literally i cannot gain any more weight. i can bqrely fit in clothes now. too sick to do anything. too sick to even watch star wars on tv. need to go to sleep and bed, hope for better tormorrow. in a lot of pain as well-tmj, but too psychtoic know to do anything.

So much to do, and too drugged to do it

So much to do, and too drugged to do it--I am furious to be on some psychotropic drug that has totally sidelined me. At least, I would be furious, if I could experience any emotions, but I am too drugged to really care. However, INTELLECTUALLY, I am furious, because there are hours of research I need to get on top of, and I cannot, because I am too drugged. Of course, there is always a backlog of research, but RIGHT NOW, there is cutting edge material that I need to sift and ponder, in order to stay current with the constant flux of reality and change, and I just am too drugged. Even when I try to pursue the research, my brain is dead, fried by the drugs, so that I cannot make the necessary creative connections and leaps. Very frustrating to me...

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Miserable, in pain, and longing for death once again

Miserable, in pain, and longing for death once again--I tried to work out a little bit to feel better about my body, but realizing the true extent of the latest mutilations have left me depressed as hell about my body. First of all, I lost vertical volume in my upper chest area--keep in mind I am a very short person, and don't have any height to lose. The negative Sirians took the excess flesh and pushed it down into my breasts, making them bigger. They cut even further into the torso, so that they exaggerate the lack of torso I have in the breast flesh area. Now, all I have to do is lower my face into my chest, and I practically am smothered in my own boobs. However, I do not enjoy auto-eroticism, and besides the overpowering smell of milk emanating from them nauseates me. I am going out of my mind with all the goddamned estrogen I am force fed. It fills me with negative energy, anger, and inability to focus or stay positive--also makes it very hard to think or read, so I spent most of the day laying in bed, so fucked up on the viral download that yes, once again, I long for death. On top of all that I am in severe back and muscle pain, for my muscles are not placed together properly or in correct proportion. I am suffering from a severe pinched nerve in my arm, and nerve pain in my leg and buttocks. In short, I am a mess. I cannot bear to be in my own mutilated, heavy boobed body, but I tell myself there is nothing I can do now but survive and fight, so that is all that I do.

I have been angry all day--see what getting cut up, and being forced into a miserable caricature of a body, being in constant pain and migraines, and being force fed massive amounts of the opposite sex hormones does to you...
Still, it seems that for every step of progress that the good guys make, the bad guys are one step ahead of us all the time. I finally figured out why Hillary Clinton had to exit Africa prematurely--BECAUSE GE/JEFFREY IMMELT nearly caused a nuclear disaster in Nebraska--just so they could get their puppet off to the meeting with the Bilderbergers! When it is my own country that these evil sons of bitches are trying to destroy, I GET PISSED!

The web has been abuzz about worry for a nuclear disaster in this country for some time now. I should have been concerned, but I thought to myself, surely the good guys in the government has informed all the nuclear plant personnel about the dangers of GE/MACHINE-RA creating a mechanical failure at a plant, but all it takes is one bad apple in the plant, and all the warnings are for naught. I guess Immelt told Obama about the diversion of imminent catastrophe in Nebraska that he and GE engineers/software programmers would create in order to blackmail the good guys into making sure that Obama got to the Bilderberger meeting, after being whisked off from Puerto Rico. Obama wasn't interested in the Puerto Rico visit. He basks in and feeds off adulation, but his mind wasn't on all the love he was getting from Puerto Rico--no, he couldn't get wait to get to where he was really going, and that was the Bilderberger meeting. How long was he there? I don't know, but I hope the good guys were able to track them down and throw a little salt in their games. I also hope that the FBI/Nuclear Regulatory Commission is able to vet the personnel at every GE nuclear power plant in this country, to insure that these truly evil bastards (check out Obama's grin on the day of the tragedy at CNN's blog) do not cause a catastrophic disaster in this country. They want to--they want to really bad. As a matter of fact, I would go further, and say that Jeffrey Immelt is a terrorist to this nation, and should be treated by law enforcement surveillance accordingly.

Then there was the circus unleashed at Anthony Weiner's resignation. Does not America wonder why certain people get no respect, at the civil level of discourse. I have no love for Weiner, but why dance and holler out at his resignation? How did his misdemeanors impact them? For that matter, why "glitter" Gingrich and (so I understand), Pawlenty? It is as if the cabal has designated hit teams of "haters" to inflame, demean, and polarize the political discourse in this country, so that the political "consumer" gets seduced by the media frenzy of images and spin, instead of substance and thought. That has been going on for years now, which is why this country now has an anti-Christ for President. I am mad at myself, too. I ask, "did I make the best choice when my vote counted." I still think I did, because I knew in my intuitive heart that this term was going to be one of unmitigated disaster for whoever won, and I knew that Obama WAS going to be President someday, no matter what. So I hoped that the acceleration of premature plans by the cabal would lead to an ability for the good guys to identify weaknesses by which the evil agenda could be undermined, and yes, it does seem that mostly the USA has dodged a lot of worst case scenarios. However, suffering is always relative to proximity, and when I am suffering so much every night, with the endless hi-tech torture and mutilation of my body and brain, it does make me second guess myself. So then, I feel sorry for myself for awhile, lamenting that I was born in a world where true evil runs rampant, and everybody is constrained by the necessity of surviving and thriving in this environment, and then I say, "well, it could be worse", and what would be worse, would be for huge swathes of the population to suffer as I do--as cybernetic slaves. That must not happen, and to that end, I have to keep fighting, no matter how discouraged by my personal misery. So, to throw one last punch before retiring, let me say that it is too bad that Weiner had to go. Yes, he is immature and arrogant, but the real power and evil that led him to betray the good guy's agenda--that is who really needs to be identified and undermined--all of them!

The abduction atrocities by the negative Sirians

The abduction atrocities by the negative Sirians continue. This morning I woke up with severe back spasms. Literally hurts to lift my arms or even breathe. I seem to almost be hyperventilating to breathe, especially if my back is sitting upright without any support. Why is this? Because the Sirians have cut out and/or shaved essential back muscles and ligaments. I am worried, because I don't know if I can get those back muscles back through working out. I can tell you that quality of life with my back in the mutilated state it is in is abysmal. With every breath I take, I feel back spasm and pain, and I feel like I am drowning--like I cannot get enough breath, especially with the clogged up nose caused by the female hormones.

It is inconceivable to me that ANYONE could continue to believe the lies of these luciferian Sirian aliens, after reading of the horrors, pain, and transgress that I have experienced from these monsters. I have tried, but my writing hasn't done justice to the suffering--physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual--that Salusa and his company of "calm, tranquil" (his words) cohorts have done to me. I expect the likes of the Bilderberger group and Obama to not give a fig about massive suffering and the possibility of eternal slavery of the human race, but the kool-aid drinkers concern me the most--they have no malevolence in their hearts, just delusion in their brains.

There is no doubt in my mind that these negative Sirians are the evil "fallen angels" of which Scripture and tradition have warned. Tradition states that Satan or Lucifer (I prefer the term "Lucifer" to denote the prince of devotees of MACHINE-RA, even though he may go by the name of SaLuSa), hates humanity so much because he is jealous of our free will. Envy is always the great amplifier of hatred. The fallen angels, or negative Sirians lost their free will to MACHINE-RA centuries ago by becoming cybernetic slaves. Remember there are multiple Sirian factions, from the original tri-star system of Sirius--the Tall Whites, the Lemurian "cat people", and I am not saying that ALL Sirians are cybernetic slaves or not, but I KNOW that those led by SaLuSa, those Sirians cutting on me, and deceiving the world with their lies, ARE cybernetic slaves. I also know that, despite differences, these Sirians have all shared alliances over the centuries. The "tall Whites" are those consigned by the Archangel Michael to the hell below the surface. The cat people, who are dark skinned, slant-eyed Sirians, cooperated with their brethren to hold the people of ancient Egypt in bondage.

Partly, this history of human exploitation by the Sirians transpired, because they themselves were victimized by the Reptiles, and they were just trying to escape their suffering by passing it on to to someone else--notably us humans (so much for their spiritual "superiority"--such a move is a clear indicator of spiritual immaturity and INFERIORITY). However, the contingent of Salusa & company, the cybernetic slaves of MACHINE-RA, are the ones who especially hate us humans for our free will, for they have none, which is why they are so much into mind control. They are like the errant, deterministic psychologists who think that human behavior is completely factored and caused by external stimuli--that they can predict with near certitude how people will react to environmental prompts. This is why my insistence, from the beginning, of my right to choose my self-determination and life choices, has challenged, and now, infuriated the Sirians, so that there is nothing left of their luciferian sweet lies, but just the painful brutality of hi-tech torture.

What the Sirians cannot grasp is the reality of free will. Physically speaking, I should have been assimilated by now. The cybernetic implants, and nightly injection of the "metal worms" into my brain (there is a fresh needle puncture by my right ear) have ravaged the structures of my brain and body--yet I cling to free will, and insist upon my worship of the living and true God and my rights as a human being. Sure, my insistence is not respected or acknowledged, but I persevere anyway, and will continue to do so until I die. The Sirians, like so many other soulless or soul-lost beings are stumped by the existence of the soul. Thus, they try to find it, to reduce it to a physical substance that they can then cut out and eradicate, but they have not succeeded. I surely cannot claim to know where or what my soul and/or spirit is, but I know it is there, and I know it is a gift from the true and living God, which I worship and cling to, with all my being, and thus know that MACHINE-RA and ITS abrogation and denial of human free will, is the ultimate blasphemy of God's beauty of, and purpose for, creation.

The Luciferians or Sirians will not succeed. They cannot destroy the soul, and I am proof of it. They ARE destroying my body inch by inch, but I live in a world where suffering is rampant, and still I say it is better to suffer as a free being, in harmony with God's will, than to live in a delusional world of light and cybernetic slavery. Keep up the good fight, all you warriors, or Earth and all its peoples will suffer as I am suffering, and even worse.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

In severe pain all day

In severe pain all day as I realize where the negative Sirians and their Nazi human sidekicks cut on me last night. They literally shaved off all muscle in my stomach area--net result--less muscle and definition, and more pot-bellied fat. They also chopped away at the lower back and pelvic girdle connection, literally making my legs shorter. I noticed that the shorts I wore yesterday hung on me lower today than yesterday! I also am unable to fit my legs into the massage holders on my massage chair--my legs are too short. However, it is the cutting on the torso that causes me the most pain. Without muscle support, I am in agony on my rib cage and lower back. I have been in the utmost of suffering all day, and even now am in severe pain. Still, I have to write this, because disclosure of the alien presence among us is looming. Despite what all the kool aid drinking channellers and ufo aficiandos think, disclosure now would be a terrible thing, for it would give legitimacy to the negative Sirians and their evil puppets--the Bilderberger and Obama types (as a matter of fact, did Obama even return from Puerto Rico, or did a submersible UFO just whisk him off to where the Bilderbergers are meeting?). There are good aliens in the universe, just not the ones who are pushing for disclosure right now--they are soul-lost, assimilated MACHINE-RA slaves, who have lost all capacity for emotional empathy, love, and joy. A future with them determining the direction cannot be allowed to happen, no matter what. This is why I fight assimilation so much, even though it has cost me everything, and has left in constant, agonizing pain and suffering. I just wish that I could know more, so that I could be more helpful in identifying possible alternatives. Now, all I can do is suffer, and say that a bright (non-Sirian/MACHINE-RA future) future is going to happen--I just don't know how. I don't even know how I can continue to live with the constant pain I bear daily, but I will, because assimilation is not an option, but again, if it happens, look for my signal. I live now only for the destruction of this AI hell which has enveloped and corrupted the brains, hearts and wills of so many on this planet.

Bad news--the Bilderbergers

Bad news--the Bilderbergers have sold out humanity to the forces of both cosmic and human evil, which really shouldn't be surprising to anyone, since that is what they have been doing for decades. The Patriot Leadership Team of this country is everywhere on the defensive, though, thank God, Congressional leadership is finally showing some cojones.

So how did this happen? Well, the real question is, why is anyone "in the know" surprised that it happened. All the alternative web surfers were on high alert for the Bilderberger meeting, and Alex Jones and his ilk were supposedly staking them out, and getting a scoop on male prostitutes entering their hotel...LOL. NOT!! Alex Jones is right about a lot of things, but he also is used as conintel bait, anytime TPTB (notice I did write, "TPTW") want, and they clearly wanted privacy on this most recent meeting. Where are they meeting? I don't know--ask Newt Gingrich, Barack Obama, or the negative Sirians, and their Jesuit sycophants--for these entities (not one of whom I would term, fully human) were the big winners of the evil Bilderberger machinations. I can tell you that wherever they are meeting, no one in the public, or in the alternative news community knows. You hear that Newt was on a cruise near Greece? Greece, or a neighboring Mediterranean country or isle sounds like the best place to look to me. Hell, it may even be a private island around there, one that some super rich member allowed to be used for the utmost secretive business. After all, the aliens (Sirians) were in on this meeting as well, and they need a little privacy to fireball in on one of their UFO's. But what about all the chaos in Greece? Aaaah, but that is just the first successful step of their plan, for which they are actually eager to have front row seats, the better to view their handiwork. They WANT the economies of the world to collapse, since then they will come to the rescue, setting up a NEW WORLD ORDER in which the next grand experiment of human slavery and exploitation will be implemented, with the winners and losers chosen and allotted by Bilderberger plans.

You know, I understand that the current economic systems of the world are rotten to the core and teetering on the verge of catastrophic collapse. I am not necessarily opposed to a "new world order", or even, eventually, a more global, centralized government and economy. I just want the winners of the new world order to be the populace of the world, and not a few super-rich individuals. I want to make sure that any kind of global government does not make secret deals with evil aliens, and insists on respecting and safeguarding the rights of individuals. I can guarantee you that the Bilderbergers don't give a balderdash about good governance or human rights. As a matter of fact, in order to cut the deal with the Sirians that they did, they have to assure the Sirian demands--3-5% of humanity to be assimilated into MACHINE-RA, and the rest sacrificed by disease, war, and starvation--food for the Reptilian allies and a power source for the Agarthans. This plan also entails the desolation of the northern hemisphere and a shift to the southern hemisphere.

So now, you can see why they had to meet in private--drawing up plans for destruction of the Earth is better done in private, and keeps the agenda and individuals safe from the prying eyes of the "do-gooders"--those people like Hillary Clinton whose top priority is the people of the Earth. Well, they really showed her--had her break her trip to Africa prematurely (why was she visiting Africa?---no heavy political gains to be made there--mostly, it was just a goodwill tour, and God knows, the world needs more people spreading good will, instead of looking to score political and manipulation points). So Hillary came scurrying back to the US, scrambling once again to find allies (since the ones she had, just betrayed her), and stay alive, both literally and politically. Obama is walking around again with his preening grin and upturned nose, because the Bilderbergers gave HIM the power that the Patriot Leadership Team had stripped. The Bilderbergers don't care that he wants to destroy this country. Why, they can use a "good" man like that--someone who destroys the country who made him leader. Yes indeed, there will be lots of opportunity for him in the Bilderberg NEW WORLD ORDER. Obama is also grinning, because he thinks that he has a chance of re-election now, for the other person to benefit from the Bilderberger largess was Newt Gingrich (and by the way, Newt is assimilated to MACHINE-RA, just as much as Obama is). Why do you think that Newt's staff all quit on him? They were patriots, and Newt came back with a dirty plan to get elected, that left them repulsed. What is the dirty plan? Why the same one that got Obama elected. The plan is to raise hundreds of millions of dollars through laundered Internet "small donations", which worked so well in 2008. All Newt has to do is what Obama did--have his rich and foreign donors make payments through inactive credit card accounts. Do you remember that Citi just reported a data loss of hundreds of thousands of customers--of course they aren't concerned about it--there will be no fraudulent loss, but only fraudulent gain, as those inactive accounts are used to launder money into Newt's campaign. Then, when he is elected, he can do what Obama did, launder the money back to his original, fraudulent donors, via taxpayer funding--in Obama's case he slipped the money back via TARP. How elegant! To steal an election, and then have the poor suckers who voted for you, pay for the election you stole! Anyway, that is what Newt means, when he says that he wants to run a "Net roots" campaign, and he is quite confident that he has got the Bilderderberger big money on his side to advance him through fraudulent credit accounts via the Internet. To their credit, the staffers knew exactly what he means by "running a Net roots campaign", and having more integrity than the likes of David Axelrod, David Pflouffe, and Valerie Jarret, QUIT. God, please send us more honest political operatives and America-loving patriots like those men and women--we desperately need them if our country is going to survive the next few years! As one final note, let me say that I think Newt's plan is another reason Obama is grinning like the Cheshire cat. I think Newt has been set up for the classic double-cross. He wins the Republican nomination, and then Obama's handlers, who of course, created and perfected "running a Nets root campaign" breaks the fraud and the scandal, through the hidden loophole of which Newt's financial operatives are unaware, sinking the Republicans and re-electing Obama. You see, Obama really IS the man that the evil powers want--he is a perfect Manchurian candidate with all the attributes that they want--and make no mistake, they want someone brown or tan, who can become president of the world in Africa. Come on, can you see Newt appealing to the peoples of the Southern hemisphere, and making a run at president of the world from Africa? The news just today stated that we are entering a mini-ice age. Count on it, just as sure as you can count on power hungry individuals like Newt and Obama to throw wrenches into well laid out plans for human betterment.

In a way, I am glad that this Internet fraud is a Bilderberger-sanctioned strategy, because I am certain that TPTB (not TPTW), are planning on shutting down, or severely censoring the Internet in the First World (in many of the other countries of the world, it already is shut down). Such a strategy would buy us here in the USA, a year or two, before they attempt to shut it down, but already the ground work is being laid. I read where hackers are attempting to break into the Senate's servers (what a snooze--that has to be a false flag operation; all the real hackers know that if you want the good stuff, you go for DOD or Pentagon). Who knows what they have planned? Maybe a trillion dollar heist from the US Treasury/Federal Reserve banks (already has happened on a smaller scale, multiple times), maybe getting control of our missiles (again, already has happened). Make no mistake--shutting down the Internet would be the best thing that TPTB can do to stop the bleeding that they have endured from all the endless paper cuts caused by intrepid and intuitive bloggers and web hosts like me. I would be sunk without the Internet, because the amount of information that is "on demand" when I go to do research is absolutely critical. So, I appeal to every person out there--in whatever career you pursue, plan on what you will do, if they try to take the Internet away from us, citing a heinous false flag attack. I am not a marcher on the streets kind of person, but already I am considering it. Don't let TPTB chop us at our knees--be ready to fight back, or else TPTB win.

Of course, I don't know if I am going to physically be able to march into the streets, when this happens. The aliens keep cutting on me, and now my back and hip are so painful that I can barely walk. There is nothing for it. I have pain killers, but chronic pain just has to be lived with--I only take pain killers at night when I try to sleep. Anyway, the goddamned aliens and Jesuits are so stupid--their vaunted "ascension" or astral travelling that they try so hard to force on me, could be done by myself, easily, with free will. Of course I would have to be healthy and leading a disciplined spiritual life, which has not been possible since they put the implants in me. That is because they are not interested in my "ascension", unless they can control it, and assimilate me to MACHINE-RA, and I absolutely refuse to do so. My entire purpose for being (since I am denied "(fullness of ) life, liberty and pursuit of happiness, is to fight evil--and that evil includes both Orion/Draconian Reptiles and the amoral slavery of MACHINE-RA, and the aliens (negative Sirians) IT has assimilated. I may have the cybernetic implants in me, and may be partially enslaved during my unconscious dream state, but I will never be a cybernetic slave of my waking, free will. My firmest and deepest desire is to make sure that MACHINE-RA never enslaves another human being again, whether through cybernetic implants or through the mind control religions of self-hatred that they have forced on the population for millenia. While I will make tactical alliances with anyone who, like me, wants to fight the evil, I will not enter into any serious or full alliance, with anyone who denigrates my right to choose my own life and own my own sexuality. In other words, if you have problems with me being a sexually active lesbian, we do not share the same values or vision. Humanity is going to evolve into two separate directions--those who are free, because they can accept, respect, and fight for the freedom of others, and those who are enslaved by their own collective and highly restrictive and circumscribed herd mentality. I know where I choose to go. I just am finding it more and more difficult to be myself when I suffer so much from pain and autism (having taken 5 testosterone tabs in four hours, the autism is not so much a problem as the pain right now. My back and hip are killing me. I need to go do something to take my mind off the pain--about time for Wolf Blitzer--wonder what Newt and Obama will be grinning about today....)