Feeling the full brunt of evil today--I think that I was abducted by Faction 1 last night, and they did a number on my body--leaving me sore and raw from all the mutilations. I have decided to just not fight it anymore. Evil is too powerful for me to fight back, at least until I become more conscious of my astral travelling--which I don't think is going to happen for a while.
Evil seems everywhere to be staring me right in the face. A few days ago, I posted a blog entry re: my opinion that Casey Anthony was not the murderer of her daughter, but the victim of a severely dysfunctional and abusive family. I mentioned that I believed the grandfather had killed her "accidentally" during sexual penetration, while under the influence of chloroform. Now, however, I think the evil goes even deeper. The chloroform was the mother's idea, as well as beingthe one to search for "broken neck" and "chest injury". Now, this is not a case of mom lying to protect her daughter, although like evil mothers everywhere, it is important that people think she is a good mother sacrificing herself for her daughter. No, Cindy Anthony has orchestrated the coverup and the deliberate frame of her daughter since the beginning. This can only mean that Cindy was looking up these items because she had malicious intent to murder Caylee for a while. Looking at her pictured with the young girl, I can see the evil and hatred of the girl on her face. Why did she hate her? Because, she couldn't destroy her emerging ego and sense of self, as she had done with her own daughter. Casey's acts of love gave little Caylee a true sense of self, and Cindy, evil woman that she is, could not bear it. So, SHE planned Caylee's death. Ii now think the chloroform was deliberately a lethal dose. She hooked her husband even further into her web, by having the child die while he was performing sex with her. I think George feels true guilt over the child's death, but Cindy does not. She planned it to go exactly the way it went, destroying the female child, her own daughter with the same blow that she used to tighten her evil, emotional control over her guilt-ridden husband and son.
I have my own issues with a mother who truly wants to destroy me, all the while pretending to be my number one supporter. She hates me for the same reason--she despises the strong feminine. This is how I got hooked into helping Faction 2, even though it was more patriarchal abuse of the feminine--for patriarchal men hate the strong feminine as well. They desperately need the feminine, but instead of relating to it from a position of adult, mature, men, they stay trapped in a juvenile, and even infantile fantasy of controlling the feminine through their psyche. This is why, the F2 males loved me as long as I was asleep, but completely disregarded and even despised my waking contentions of self-definition and chosen identity. I am sad to say, that hooked in my sleep as a child (and remember, F2 was hypnotizing me as a child--that is why I got the phone call with the little girls' voice--to reinforce my programming), I longed to win the approval of the F2 males. However, the more I tried to do what they wanted, the more they despised me, for patriarchal males cannot bear to see successful females in what they consider "men's realm", so the more successful I was at doing their astral tasks, the more they resented and hated me, and since, for a patriarchal male, the worst insult in the world is to be female, they were determined to force an exaggerated female body on me--a body that is a mutilated and painful travesty of God's creation. Certainly, I am feeling the pain tonight. It is time to put this all behind me, as best I can (given the constant pain I am in, that will be hard). So, I think I will find another, very un-occult project to engage my interest. I hurt too much to start it tonite--maybe tomorrown.