Worse and worser for me, personally

Worse and worser for me, personally--as the goddamned pesticide man was a Nazi clone--blonde hair, blue eyes, and a totally vacant mind. My brain started rushing last night as with lithium, (but also with high powered energy weapons), and I went out to sleep in my pickup bed. That is good for one night--after that, the Nazis will spray psychotropics on the liner. Anyway, interesting dream. I dreamed that I was involved in a battle. I saw a small reddish brown planet or death star, and 3 humongous space cruisers. Someone was trying to teach me how to interface with a machine in order to control it. I didn't wake up feeling abused, so it must have been the good guys that I was helping. However, it has been all downhill ever since. I am pretty sure that I am on lithium. At the grocery store, I was hit with an energy drain so severe that I literally could not lift my feet, but only drag them. It doesn't help that my hills are so dry and calloused that they are cracked. Whatever psychotropic cocktail that I am on is causing a mineral or hormonal imbalance that leads to the severe dryness of my feet soles--I never suffered from that before. My mouth is always dry as well. I have no appetite except for sweets, and my stool is looking like a migraine stool. Effectively, I am walking around with a constant dry migraine.

Certainly, the lithium that I am on is part of my suffering, but I am wondering where blonde boy popped the energy weapon. This man has sprayed my house, once a year, for about 4 years in a row. The last time I saw him was last spring. At that point, I stil did not know about the Nazi cloning going on. Interestingly enough, for the past few years, I had thought that he was a slightly mentally deficient evangelical Christian. Amazing, how similar brainwashed and mind-controlled people are to fervent Christians (and I am being honest and sincere, not hateful or polemical). No wonder why MACHINE-RA tried so hard to get control of Christianity and turn it into a bona fide empire religion.

Anyway, the funny thing was that I told myself to be paranoid, and not trust this fellow, but it is so much in my nature to be trusting, and same old story, I felt so yucky, that I just let him walk around and do his thing, not only in my home, but in my neighbor's home. If he left an energy weapon anywhere, it would be near her jewelry table, but I don't think that he wants to make her life miserable. She is one of the few non-psychics around here--just a very high energy, free spirited kind of person. The same cannot be said for me. The Nazis, Reptilians, Faction 1, are very intent on making me suffer, and I guess they think those energy weapons give access to my mind. I already lived through about 3 weeks of this shit, when they were beaming from across the street, onto an ornamental pyramidal complex that the landscaper had created. So, how long will I suffer this time? I don't know? I understand that I cannot count on anybody for anything, except to be used and discarded by the soldiers who are all so happy to harness my unconscious energies, but despise my conscious self-identity and being. It was faction 2 who was responsible for much of the mutilation of my body, which has left me severely depressed and uncomfortable in my own body, but apparently, I am helping them again....I don't get it. I'm like a whore who keeps putting out for free, while the johns all can't wait to get their rocks off, and leave me desolated and vulnerable to the next evil entity. Still, the story about the frog and the scorpion is true. I know that I am letting users and spiritual and psychic slavers abuse me, but it is in my nature to be helpful, and apparently, I cannot help myself, so then i get to beat up myself more, saying I deserve this miserable, fucked up carcass of flesh that I now inhabit, because, after all I cooperated with the abductors responsible for it...

Anyway, this next night is going to be interesting. So far I have been able to block F1 abduction. Can I continue to do it with the energy weapon (the lithium makes me miserable, non-functional, and has me gaining a pound a day), but while it kills brain cells, leaving me mentally less and less, just as surely as F2 has left me physically less and less, the lithium prevents any kind of astral interaction. It is the energy weapon, placed who knows where, that I am worried about. Well, eith God will grant me the grace to find it, or I will move. I dont have the physical or financial resources to move, but I am tired of all this shit. On all sides, I am surrounded by unfriendlies, all looking to probe my mind for their benefit and agenda, and not a goddamned one to come to my aid...NOTHING NEW HERE!