Over and over again, I prove that I am right in my medical self-analysis, and over and over again, the Jesuit pigs and their colleagues, the Nazi doctors, ignore my self-diagnosis, while they continue in stubborn beliefs about who I am, and what is my reality.
The fucking estrogen that I am force fed has left me so congested that I can barely breathe. However, that is just the tip of it. It also leaves me severely autistic, and with practically no emotional, physical or mental energy. The first thing this morning, I was so depressed over the hell that is my reality, that all I could do was cry. I was so weak and low energy that I was bumping into walls, as I walked around my home. I took three testosterone tabs, and immediately got a burst of energy--enough to walk around, anyway, and it pulled me out of my suicidal depression. It also makes me angry, because high estrogen, combined with high testosterone makes me angry. It is the testosterone fighting the estrogen, because my own body wisdom knows how toxic high estrogen is to me. The high estrogen is also responsible for the autistic state--which is a very negative energy, anxious, and angry state. I know this, because when I am on just high testosterone, I actually am in the most pleasant and energetic of moods. However, that is not happening now--the damned aliens have set my body up so that testosterone always releases even more estrogen, and so I suffer. I don't know how much longer I can continue to live in the negative and low energy and suicidal state caused by a female dominant hormonal system, which is actually alien, and even hostile to my well being.
I have to stay positive though, no matter how hard. I realize that what gives the evil spirit of deception its opening, is a negative and despairing state of mind and mood. It is hard to not be negative and not to despair in my current fucked up situation, and mutilated body, but I have to try, because otherwise the evil spirit of deception works at cross purposes against me. That is why I think the cybernetic psychic slaves (one Black and one Native) have been checking me out for the past couple of days. I think I went to sleep in despair and the evil spirit took over, and said a "gang of bullshit" in my sleep. I will resist cybernetic slavery with every ounce of my conscious being. I don't care what flavor it is--Faction 1, Faction 2, Reptilian, Templars, Lemurian/Asian, Natives, Mormons, Blacks, Jesuits, Jewish, or Aryan White. MACHINE-RA has extended ITS reach everywhere--but I will fight it. Unfortunately, I do not even have the necessary prerequisites necessary to fight it, but am dragged down by a severely deficient hormonal state, and my tormentors probably know this, but they LIKE me suicidal and low energy--it gives them more room to maneuver in my psyche and spirit. They keep hoping that I will turn to them, but I won't. I MUST, MUST, MUST be very careful of going to sleep in a negative mood state--it gives the evil spirit of deception power over me, and I haven't a clue as to how to rid myself of it, at this point.