Making progress??

Making progress?? I dreamed last night that my mom wanted me to get into the computer and so I did, and in the initial bootup sequence, I saw that I was a FORMER username that the computer no longer recognized. In my dream, I thought, "Good, and I want it to stay that way." Hopefully, the dream signifies that I am no longer plugged into MACHINE-RA. Certainly, I no longer am following current events, which of course, could mean that I am woefully ignorant and unprepared as the Middle East crisis deepens, but the first thing I have to do is save myself, and it is clear to me, that none of the factions involved in my life are willing to treat me as a FREE ADULT. They all want me to be drugged up or mutilated or celibate, or whatever fits their definition of who I am. I am sick and tired of insisting upon my rights, which just get abused nevertheless. Today, I am depressed over the goddamned female hormomes, which they force on me, or is it the psychotropics which have me feeling so negative and depressed. Who the fuck can force their goddamned hormones and psychotropics on me without my permission? I am sick of ALL FACTIONS. I AM A HUMAN BEING, NOT A LAB RAT. Then there is the constant pain that suffer. The implants have been placed so poorly in my lower back that I literally cannot walk without my whole body starting to vibrate from all the excess and dammed up energy in my meridians. My entire pelvic girdle and lower back is in pain, and there is nothing I can do about it, because every time I go to do a yoga move, I realize what an unresponsive, mutilated carcass has been left me, by the fucking pigs who cut on me at will, again, without any permission. Oh, you don't mind losing your shoulders, or a couple of inches or a set of ribs??? You don't mind having cow boobs that you feel with every single move you make? Hell yes, I mind!!!! I WANT MY BODY BACK!!!! The abusive, sadistic torturers who took my beautiful body from me and left me with this mutilated carcass without my CONSCIOUS, EXPLICIT consent, are not friends nor allies of mine. I have none--just a bunch of of juvenile fans all in love with an image from their own mind THAT IS NOT ME.

I am sick and tired of being used by every faction in the book, but never treated as a free human being. I suppose it all starts with my mother. I realize that I talked with her, via phone, the night before I was abducted this week--the one that left me screaming in psychosis and pain--and where they implanted the chips in the back that have me crippled while walking. The interesting thing was that Mom was talking to me about a Central American tapestry that she had given to me on my last birthday. She described it exactly--a man playing the marimba with two iconic birds nearby. I got very sick during the call--not unusual, as the fucking Nazi pricks often start a viral download while I talk on the phone--just one of their little tricks to make me isolated socially. The phone call dropped, and though I tried to recall a couple of times, the Nazis had what they wanted. For in retrospect, I think now that the phone call was used to prime me for mind control in my sleep. They got into my brain wave length while I was talking to my mom (I wondered if they showed her the actual vidoe of the tapestry, for my mom's memory is not that good--there is NO WAY she would have remembered that tapestry on her own), and were able to get into my mind and unconscious assent, using my mom.

So, this dream from last night tells me that the only way these evil beings who are continuing to abduct me and trying to get into my head, whether reptilian or Sirian, can succeed is through my mother. Now, I have to be on the alert for that, because I don't want another night of agony as I had the other night, and as I sure as hell don't want to spend another interval in the astral presence of a worthless piece of flesh like Barack Obama, Hans Kolvenbach, Ariel Sharon, Joseph Ratzinger, or any of the other parasitical leeches who latch onto me, trying to reach some Orion demonic prince.

I need to put my mind on something else, but it is very hard, having a proactive mind, when I am force fed all these female hormones--they just fill me with negative energy, and steal and drain what little energy I do have, so that life becomes very difficult. It is hormonal castration--however, the fucking factions in my life have made it clear that they prefer me castrated, unless of course, I am under their complete control while unconscious. I have lost all ability to enjoy music (it is the depression and negative energy caused by the excessive estrogen, I think), but if I could sing, I would sing "NO TENGO NADIE THAT I CAN DEPEND ON".

Anyway, apart from really watching my phone calls with my mother, I have to come up with something else to occupy my mind...