Sunday, June 19, 2011

After detoxing from psychotropic drugs

After detoxing from psychotropic drugs, and taking large amounts of testosterone, just to be present to reality, I think that I have figured out what is the latest political crisis gripping our nation (and myself in the process). However, first I have to honor what my inner voice is telling me to do, because the inner voice is always the overriding imperative in my life, even if the resulting analysis seems picayune or extremely limited.

In this particular instance, the inner voice is telling me to go to bat for Caylee and Casey Anthony. Now, understand, I never get into watching trials or even coverage of trials. With my background of working with criminals, I have a laser sharp perception that nearly always instantly informs me that the accused and/or defendants in highly publicized cases, are lying, sociopathological characters or downright evil. Then I opt out of the media circus that accompanies the trial. Off the top of my head, I have never thought that an accused or defendant was innocent, but now that record is snapped. I know that law enforcement and the prosecution has invested huge sums of money into this trial, but I believe that Casey Anthony is more victim than guilty party in the murder of her daughter.

Ever since the story broke, I have passed over coverage of the Cayley Anthony case with scant interest. I would briefly glimpse video footage of Casey A, think that she was a low-life partyer with no sense of responsibility for her child, and just would remote click to another channel (I have dealt with enough lowlifes to last me a lifetime). However, as her trial has progressed, and coverage has extended to more respectable venues, my inner voice has been trying to get my attention, first by whispering at me, and then by practically shouting at me. When the inner voice starts to shout at me, then I have to spill my guts, and so this post...

My inner voice began whispering at me, a few days ago, increasing in intensity every time I saw the trial coverage. My intuition was SHOCKED (and I mean SHOCKED) to sense for the first time how deeply and depravedly evil the grandparents, George and Cindy Lee were. First, there was a ripple effect that hit me physically, when I saw George sitting at the trial, and I knew he was the murderer. Then, there was the TOTAL LIE of Cindy Lee, mouthing "I love you" to her daughter, and the fake tears on the witness stand. The mother is as evil as her husband. So, then, for the first time, I started paying attention to Casey Anthony, and I could see that she knew her mother was lying for the public (probably just as she has done her entire life), and that Casey knew she was lying, but had no way of fighting back. Then, I started to watch her tears, and realized that her tears and emotions, unlike her parents, were genuine. However, I realized that psychologically, she still was in a very infantile state, and so did not want to get involved, until I was more sure of myself, but a couple of nights ago, the inner voice made it clear. I suppose my conversation with my inner voice was what propelled the last two days of heavy psychotropics--because most people just don't understand how the unconscious works. Basically, I allow the part of my unconscious that is trying to voice an opinion, an imagined personality to whom I can relate and talk, so I started saying, "Who killed you Cayley?". Now, was I talking to Cayley, or the spirit of Caley, was I having a psychotic break? NO, NO, NO. I was trying to get into a pure relationship with the truth, so that I did not allow any prejudice to influence me. I kept seeing George Anthony's face, and hearing "Grandpa did it". Does this mean Cayley "spoke to me from beyond the grave" or the Holy Spirit spoke to me? Not absolutely--this is a mode of cognition beyond rational understanding or explanation. However, experience has taught me that this was an authentic inner voice, and I need to honor it. As a matter of fact, my inner voice wanted me to write this post two nights ago, but I demurred, saying that I was psychotropically drugged and I needed to come to an understanding I could accept first. Well the psychotropics and the excessive female hormones have not let up, so I still haven't done research, but I have my own version, which I am going to relate, and then move on to larger affairs (but in the matter of Christian spirituality, one life has the same value as millions, and actually, I hope to honor two lives).

Because my inner voice has been screaming it at me, I will say that I think George Anthony is the murderer of little Cayley. Like his mistress says, it was an accident that got out of control. I think the Anthony family is severely dsyfunctional, with the father engaged in flagrant sexual abuse of both the daughter and grandaughter, and of which the mother knew, and was complicit by silent acquiescence. I do believe that the sexual abuse of Casey continued into her teens, and that there may have been incestual relations or intent between her brother and herself.

Because of the severe and prolonged nature of the abuse, Casey has not only a weak sense of self-esteem, but practically no sense of ego-self whatsoever. Psychologically, she still is a young child, extremely immature, and acts like one. I think, because of the abuse and psychological dependence on her family, that she is very mind-controlled by her parents, and that she, from a very early age, was indoctrinated into the family lie dominated by her father. I think that she "was Daddy's 'girl', and we won't tell Mom about our little secret, will we?". Except that of course, Mom knew. There are two types of incest victims--those who hate it and fight against it, and those who are complicit in it by a genuine love. I think that Casey was the latter. She was trapped in a sick, Oedipal love of father, that was aggravated by the sexual abuse that continued until....little Cayley was born.

Now, I don't know who Cayley's father was. I suspect that the defense is running paternity tests on her male relatives to prime the jury for the lurid details of the incest. However, I do know that Casey, as she entered adolescence would have been promiscuous (because love is sex, right?) with her male peers, and would definitely have had a substance abuse problem--to escape from the deadening lack of no-self, and the truth of a huge family Oedipal secret, which impacted every one in the family. However, little Cayley was born, and it is clear from her earliest pictures and video that her Mom loved her (I'm sorry--I cannot see Cindy Anthony as a loving maternal figure at all--to her female children were competitors to be sacrificed....just as she did with Casey). As a matter of fact, in her desire to mother her own self, Casey was an EXCELLENT young mother, loving and caring for her daughter, so that she developed quite the singular and precocious personality that her own teenage mother lacked (have you noticed, even from her pre-arrest photos, that Casey's eyes and smile showed no real personality, but just emptiness?).

Oh, but the vivacious personality just made her more attractive to George Anthony, and pretty soon she was called on to fulfill her mother's previous role. George Anthony started to sexually abuse her. But Cayley Anthony, unlike her mother, already had a sense of self, and she didn't like the abuse (my guess is that George was penetrating her with a penis or object), and would cry out and complain about the pain. Did she complain to her mom? I think she did. Now, I am not sure who came up with the idea of chloroforming the little girl--whether it was George, who didn't want to hear his granddaughter's tears and cries to stop, or whether it was her mother, Casey, whose heart grieved for her daughter, but who was too mind-controlled by her father to stop the abuse, but wanted to relieve the toddler's agony by drugging her whenever she went out. However the chloroform was applied--probably more than once. I think the last time young Cayley was sexually abused, the chloroform failed to act immediately, and she started to whimper and cry again, so George placed the duct tape, or perhaps a pillow, over her mouth to stop her cries. By the time she had finished his business, the smothering and chloroform combination had killed young Cayley.
I don't know how Casey learned of the death of her daughter. I am sure that she was out partying while the abuse took place. Did she come home and find her daughter with the duct tape on her mouth, or did she (knowing from the evidence at hand and on Cayley's face) place the duct tape over it in a symbolic gesture of the only thing she knew, "keep your mouth shut--this is our little secret". I think the duct tape was already on, because I KNOW that Casey put the heart on the duct tape. I think she did it as a last memorial act of love for her daughter. I can see that happening in my imagination--Casey did grieve for her dead daughter. She was just too psychologically infantile to do anything about it. So, she did, what she had done her entire life--deny, deny deny, to herself and others about the horrible secrets of her family life and loss. All the partying and tatooing--that is not the evil mom, enjoying the freedom of singlehood. That is the numb denial of reality by an infantile adolescence, who didn't know it, but who was being framed for murder by her own parents (AND YES, THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I SEE, WHEN I SEE the elder Anthonys at the trial--THEY do have mature sense of self and personality, and they looked to cover the truth and sacrifice Casey, just as she had been sacrificed for years).

That is why they put Casey in the trunk of her car until she was in full decomposition. They wanted to make sure that no autoposy uncovered the traumatic sexual abuse that Cayley endured the last few days of her life. They wanted a chance to clear the chloroform from the rooms and the bodily person from which it originated--which would have identified George as the perp! That is why all the crazy details about "ZAnna the nanny" and the abusive perps revealing the place of burial to the police months before Cayley was found. This was all the parents feeding a grief-stricken Casey lies about what to do to defend herself from a charge of murder, when all the time they were framing her. What if George Anthony asked Casey to chloroform her daughter before she went out partying? Can you imagine the guilt Casey would feel--she would know her daughter's fate the moment she stepped out of the house, but she was too mind-controlled to do anything about it! Poor Casey my guess is that her complete lack of sense of self, or self-defense, as well as her own heavy guilt for her silent complicity in Cayley's abuse, led her to be a complete patsy, set up by her own evil parents. I think a lot of the incriminating statements and behaviors is the result, not only of a frame up, at her parent's hands, but of her own self-guilt from failure to protect her daughter, just as her mother had failed to protect her for years...for instance, the "we're buddies" comment to her father from jail. Yeah, I bet he fed her that line for the first time when she was just a little older than Cayley at the time of her death--poor kid--she is so schooled to protect and indulge her father's crimes and her mother's complicity that it may lead her to spending the rest of her life in jail...

I will just finish by saying, that yes, Cayley was guilty of a lack of responsibility towards her daughter, she was guilty of immature denial of the reality of her daughter's death, and she was complicit, through victimization of the coverup of the death. However, I don't think that she was the person most responsible for the death. Even if she administered the chloroform, it was at George's request, and the poor girl (and she is a girl), was completely mind-controlled in a severely abusive and dsyfucntional home. Most of the above is just my conjecture. However, I will stand by my discernment, with 100% certitude--the truly evil perps in this case are George and Cindy Anthony. Casey Anthony is not evil--just extremely immature to the point that I would wonder about her ability to cooperate with her own defense. To the extent that she bears responsiblity for the death of little Cayley, it is because she was a victim of the evil that has victimized her since she was a little girl herself.

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