Miserable, in pain, and longing for death once again

Miserable, in pain, and longing for death once again--I tried to work out a little bit to feel better about my body, but realizing the true extent of the latest mutilations have left me depressed as hell about my body. First of all, I lost vertical volume in my upper chest area--keep in mind I am a very short person, and don't have any height to lose. The negative Sirians took the excess flesh and pushed it down into my breasts, making them bigger. They cut even further into the torso, so that they exaggerate the lack of torso I have in the breast flesh area. Now, all I have to do is lower my face into my chest, and I practically am smothered in my own boobs. However, I do not enjoy auto-eroticism, and besides the overpowering smell of milk emanating from them nauseates me. I am going out of my mind with all the goddamned estrogen I am force fed. It fills me with negative energy, anger, and inability to focus or stay positive--also makes it very hard to think or read, so I spent most of the day laying in bed, so fucked up on the viral download that yes, once again, I long for death. On top of all that I am in severe back and muscle pain, for my muscles are not placed together properly or in correct proportion. I am suffering from a severe pinched nerve in my arm, and nerve pain in my leg and buttocks. In short, I am a mess. I cannot bear to be in my own mutilated, heavy boobed body, but I tell myself there is nothing I can do now but survive and fight, so that is all that I do.

I have been angry all day--see what getting cut up, and being forced into a miserable caricature of a body, being in constant pain and migraines, and being force fed massive amounts of the opposite sex hormones does to you...
Still, it seems that for every step of progress that the good guys make, the bad guys are one step ahead of us all the time. I finally figured out why Hillary Clinton had to exit Africa prematurely--BECAUSE GE/JEFFREY IMMELT nearly caused a nuclear disaster in Nebraska--just so they could get their puppet off to the meeting with the Bilderbergers! When it is my own country that these evil sons of bitches are trying to destroy, I GET PISSED!

The web has been abuzz about worry for a nuclear disaster in this country for some time now. I should have been concerned, but I thought to myself, surely the good guys in the government has informed all the nuclear plant personnel about the dangers of GE/MACHINE-RA creating a mechanical failure at a plant, but all it takes is one bad apple in the plant, and all the warnings are for naught. I guess Immelt told Obama about the diversion of imminent catastrophe in Nebraska that he and GE engineers/software programmers would create in order to blackmail the good guys into making sure that Obama got to the Bilderberger meeting, after being whisked off from Puerto Rico. Obama wasn't interested in the Puerto Rico visit. He basks in and feeds off adulation, but his mind wasn't on all the love he was getting from Puerto Rico--no, he couldn't get wait to get to where he was really going, and that was the Bilderberger meeting. How long was he there? I don't know, but I hope the good guys were able to track them down and throw a little salt in their games. I also hope that the FBI/Nuclear Regulatory Commission is able to vet the personnel at every GE nuclear power plant in this country, to insure that these truly evil bastards (check out Obama's grin on the day of the tragedy at CNN's blog) do not cause a catastrophic disaster in this country. They want to--they want to really bad. As a matter of fact, I would go further, and say that Jeffrey Immelt is a terrorist to this nation, and should be treated by law enforcement surveillance accordingly.

Then there was the circus unleashed at Anthony Weiner's resignation. Does not America wonder why certain people get no respect, at the civil level of discourse. I have no love for Weiner, but why dance and holler out at his resignation? How did his misdemeanors impact them? For that matter, why "glitter" Gingrich and (so I understand), Pawlenty? It is as if the cabal has designated hit teams of "haters" to inflame, demean, and polarize the political discourse in this country, so that the political "consumer" gets seduced by the media frenzy of images and spin, instead of substance and thought. That has been going on for years now, which is why this country now has an anti-Christ for President. I am mad at myself, too. I ask, "did I make the best choice when my vote counted." I still think I did, because I knew in my intuitive heart that this term was going to be one of unmitigated disaster for whoever won, and I knew that Obama WAS going to be President someday, no matter what. So I hoped that the acceleration of premature plans by the cabal would lead to an ability for the good guys to identify weaknesses by which the evil agenda could be undermined, and yes, it does seem that mostly the USA has dodged a lot of worst case scenarios. However, suffering is always relative to proximity, and when I am suffering so much every night, with the endless hi-tech torture and mutilation of my body and brain, it does make me second guess myself. So then, I feel sorry for myself for awhile, lamenting that I was born in a world where true evil runs rampant, and everybody is constrained by the necessity of surviving and thriving in this environment, and then I say, "well, it could be worse", and what would be worse, would be for huge swathes of the population to suffer as I do--as cybernetic slaves. That must not happen, and to that end, I have to keep fighting, no matter how discouraged by my personal misery. So, to throw one last punch before retiring, let me say that it is too bad that Weiner had to go. Yes, he is immature and arrogant, but the real power and evil that led him to betray the good guy's agenda--that is who really needs to be identified and undermined--all of them!