Sunday, February 13, 2011

Stymied and fucking frustrated

Stymied and fucking frustrated, as for the first time in my life I struggle with the inability to think at high IQ and creative levels. I started researching the situation in Pakistan, of which I know only superficially. So, I started to read, and waited for the facts to absorb and soak in, to create a database of facts that would then start zinging and pinging all around, looking for connections and the intuitive aha!. Instead, everything is laborious and blank. My brain has no RAM capability whatsoever. I find myself writing notes, because my brain can't retain the facts!!!! That has never happened to me before in my life. Whatever fucking drug I'm on (wondering if it is speed) has halved my IQ. Scared to death the fucking PIB's are going to flash my brain in this limited state, and I am going to end up like my friend's sister Debbie, a genius reduced to below average intelligenct. The fucking Navy probably did to her what their PIB allies are trying to do to me--drug a brilliant brain to cooperate with their fucking alien astral agenda. Not as long as I can resist. But my brain is so fucked up, and my body is so fucked up, I don't know anymore. I know one thing---the powers of evil cannot bear anyone to be special--whether mentally, physically, or spiritually, which is why my life is such hell. I am in a lot of fucking pain. Frustrated beyond belief. Need to go bed.

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