Another hell night--my body is constantly cut on and mutilated at night, so that I am in constant pain and discomfort from the chopped off arms. I could be glad that I am "out of here" today, but it doesn't matter. I am sure it will continue wherever I go. I am back to thinking that Faction 3 is involved in my present predicament--allied, of course, with Faction 2.
They still are doing the same old shit, trying to turn me into their Jerusalem avatar/hermaphroditic queen--a mind control guru for the new, post-2012 eon. As a matter of fact, that is what nearly every one wants from me--to be a "Messiah" that they can use and manipulate, to either further their own agenda, or avoid the hard work of freedom, individuation, and development of personal sovereignty, to which every man and woman is called, and of which they are capable of attaining.
So now, they are encouraging me to see myself as a reincarnation of "Jesus". There is a big problem with that--insofar as I believe in reincarnation, I am nearly certain that I would be the Apostle Paul, which would be a conflicting time frame. Everything fits with Paul--a self-hating gay man, a brilliant writer, a misogynist (don't think that I am suffering from this female body without major bad karma--I think I have a LONG history of patriarchal disdain for the feminine). Nor do I forget how the KaBal spent years trying to get me to believe that I was "Sananda".
I think it is true that I fulfill some prerequisites that would make me a singular prophetic figure. I think I carry the genes of all 12 tribes of Israel. I think that I am possess gifts and skills--in the astral realm--that prefigure a new, evolved humanity. However, I reject the Jesus scenario--not only is it too radical for me to believe, I think that any supporting data in my head or imagination has been placed there by the MACHINE.
Faction 3 especially, wants a mind control guru that they can use to extend their power for another 26, 000 years--this time, like Faction 2, they want a female, because they know that the new eon is going to see a flushing rise of the power and appeal of the feminine. From my perspective, the key is to balance that appeal, so we don't get a one-sided, domination/subjugation paradigm as patriarchy has been.
Personally, I think the whole scenario that I am a reincarnated Jesus is a lie--a deeply sophisticated lie perpetuated by Faction 2/3, so that they can get their hermaphrodite reptilian queen on the throne of Jerusalem. But, get this? They did the exact same thing to the historical Jesus! They set him up with gifts of "healing", much as in the same way, the MACHINE manipulated that severely disabled girl with the messed up urinary tract, to make it look like I "healed" her.
I DON'T PLAY THE MACHINE'S GAMES, GODDAMN IT, and neither did Jesus. As a matter of fact, the way I read the gospels, Jesus was condemned to execution, when he refused to become a king. Yes, the MACHINE got every body excited about the healing he was doing, and while some of it may have been indirectly attributable to him--there are people who have the capacity to act as a medium for holy healing energies--the MACHINE pumped it up--just like they did with that severely disabled girl whom I encountered in the hospital over a year ago. Jesus, like me, was a shrewdly intelligent man. He knew that it wasn't God, the "Father", who wanted to make him king, but powers of evil. He declined, and rightly so--he had too much integrity, and too much genuine spirituality.
Now, I know that Faction 2 is quite convinced that Jesus did not die on the Cross, but I disagree, though I do not have time to go into details right now. I think much of what we know of Jesus is distorted and inaccurate, but I also believe THAT THE MACHINE LIES, TOO!!
Now, I could be wrong about this, and I am not in a place where I can do any research with confidence--I'm so fucked up with pain, I can barely move. However, I know this with absolute certitude--when the gospel of John says Jesus left the crowds, because they wanted to make him, "king", they were right on. I know that PF believes the Faction 2 story, from a statement she made via telepathic communication with me. She knows so much more than I do about the real history of the world, but I think that she is wrong on this one. ''
I could present a better case, but I am in too much pain--literally hurts to type. I just like to keep the WWW informed of what is happening to me, in my limbo hell.