Thursday, February 2, 2012

See-sawing through life

See-sawing through life--my mind feels a little clearer, which is reflected in my eyes. It is so nice to look in the mirror and see the healthy, soft eyes that had stared at me for over two decades of my life, before all the psychotropic hell broke loose. Who knows? Maybe this is just another brief respite, before the KaBal applies a fresh, new regimen...However, I have learned to make the most of every good day I have, so taking care of a bunch of routine tasks will be primary on my agenda.

Of course, I have to continue to hope that my health holds out, for I still am suffering from virus related ailments. This morning, my urine smelled like burnt rubber again, and while my kidneys probably have been the healthiest organs of my body, it is only because it is so easy to pass toxins out through urine. I am not complaining. I would rather pee every 15 minutes than have the toxins build up in my body. I can not excrete the heavy metals that the virus-activating frequencies cause, and slowly that will deteriorate my health. I think friendly aliens did something to my spine to make it straighter, and it feels good to be able to lay flat on my back. In the early years of the virus invasion, I used to know a good yoga class when I began the exercises with a seriously curved spine, and ended with final resting pose, with the spine flat on the floor. As the years progressed, though, even this was denied me.

I do not naturally suffer from scoliosis. As a matter of fact, I remember my ex-lover shocked expression when she saw me dressing one morning, and asking, "what happened to your back?" At the time, I thought the curvature was related to the back injury I had just sustained, but I know now that much of my confusion over my the inception of my ill health stems from the fact that the virus was implanted within me, immediately following my injury. I would have healed just fine from the back injury if it were not for the virus, which caused a whole other gang of complications, which seem minor in comparison, to what I have endured since then. A few years later, I told a doctor that my back was curving, because it was trying to arch away from the poison (caused by the viral download--didn't say that, though) coursing through my body. He thought I was crazy, but I think that my intuition understood what was happening a lot sooner than my reason did. Because of my autism, my body/brain cannot handle the heavy loads of heavy metal that went coursing through my spine, and so the spine would arch in recoil.

Anyway, I do not know how long my newly straighten spine will stay that way. It does seem to me that I am more vulnerable to the "energetic lobotomy" of the MACHINE, when I am this way. I think I have spent dozens, if not hundreds of years enslaved to that MACHINE, and I don't ever want that to happen again. Friendly aliens helped free me from that negative energy slavery, but I still am very leery of doing anything that would give the MACHINE more power. So, I am going to postpone my scheduled brain MRI. I am too afraid that the negative KaBal will take advantage of it. However, having said that, I also know that the malformed brain stem is the source of all the viral backflow and subsequent problems, such as the neuropathic, hobbling legs and spasmed muscles I am feeling today. It's still better than being plugged into that damned MACHINE. I have faith, and when the time is right, I will find the wherewithal to cross to the "awake" side. In the meantime, I give thanks to God and all Her helpers for enabling me to feel somewhat better.

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