Another full-blown day of hell

Another full-blown day of hell--the drugs I am, are compounding the reptilian implants in my brain--both the Amon-RA spider parasite that has me in excruciating headache pain, barely able to tolerate light, and the neuro-chemical sippy cup, attached to my sacrum.

I am in the space that is my recognizable home, but I am still in another dimension, which I suppose I asked for, since the solar storms ravaging the Earth are too much for me to handle right now. There are a lot of thoughts/ideas going through my head about time/temporal mechanics/timelines, but I am too sick to either think things through, or write down anything much at all. Even as I type this, my eyes are mostly shut. Right now, there is a good program on RMN radio--sponsored by Creation Lightship, which probably has the best insights regarding temporal quanta. However, I can't access the radio program--I deliberately am prohibited by the Faction 2 contingent, which are the ones now monitoring my every move, and planting web stories on the web, as I access it. Thank God, there doesn't seem to be anything going on, that requires perceptive discernment and interpretation of current events.

I just will do the best that I can to survive, in the miserable, testosterone-deprived, and semi=psychotic state that the the damned psychotropics and reptilian implants have put me in.

The worst part is having the fucking Faction 2 psychic, constantly accessing my mind and attempting to prostitute my emotions, via their manipulation of my own recorded brain waves. The goddamned stupidasses actually think they can manipulate me into a state of love and trust, by pushing an ersatz sexual arousal and brain waves. The sense of violation is incredible--I feel like a fucking lab rat with electrodes all over me. What the KaBal never gets is that, genuine humanity needs love as a motivation. They have been trained to totally discount the soulful aspects of love--the MACHINE can't quantify it, and the reptiles can't perceive it, so for them, it has no function. So, they measure the somatic data that flows from an act of love, whether sexual or not, quantify it, then feed it back into a loop, to try to trick humanity into entering the blissful state of love, which they then can manipulate.

I will give it to the hateful bastards--they are good, and I took a few tentative nibbles to ascertain if perhaps, PF was the psychic close to me, for certainly they can mimic her energetic love making and pattern my own responses to her with near precision. But the soul, the spirit, is missing. There is no creativity, no tenderness, just the same old feedback loop repeating itself over and over.

On my part, I have great difficulty in responding to this kind of sexual advances--at first I thought it was because my erogenous zones have been completely excised, but was wrong. The truth is that I am just too much present to reality to fall for a virtual reality lie, no matter how sex-starved and horny I may be. Thank God, I never watch pornography--if I were in a state where my own imagination tricked myself into virtual reality satisfaction, I would be much more vulnerable to the tricks of MACHINE-RA.

The psychic has made several mistakes that reveal that there is no love behind any of the psychic activity--only cold and calculated mind control and violation. The most telling was when, tired of trying to force myself to respond to a sexual advance, I psychically said, " just hold me and let me sleep". The psychic replied, "I am not your mother". LOL. Now what this statement really confirms is what I emphasized in the last post--that these people feeding from the occult trough, are childish, and even infantile, in their emotional lives and psychology. They are not looking for a relationship between strong equals. They are children, feeding off the MACHINE fantasy-tit, looking for some girl-childish mommy to provide the spiritual porn iconographic image that makes them feel good doing so. To them, the only love they respect and honor is that of the bond between the co-dependent mother, and infantile child, which is why they have done everything they possibly can, to destroy my personal manhood, and human sovereignty, and adult sexuality.

Between the latest castration of my genitalia, and all the implants and drugs in my system, they really have me reeling, but no matter what, I will hold on to my soul, my spirit--no matter how sick, no matter how violated--and that is something they cannot address or manipulate--for that is a gift from God, not a measurable program that they can manipulate or own. Had they gotten their evil paws on me when I was younger, and not in such strong awareness of, and relationship to my soul, they might have succeeded, but, as long as I cleave to the grace of God, they cannot corrupt my soul now.

So that is my only prayer and hope right now, as I endure this miserable hell of bodily suffering and mental torment. Thank you God, for making me a free human being, and giving me the grace to boldly live and affirm your gifts. Keep me strong. I will be okay--just gotta hold on.