Tuesday, October 18, 2011

I know it is going to be a bad day

I know it is going to be a bad day when I have to take 3 T-tabs within an hour of awakening, just to barely function. Having a very difficult time--in severe pain from implants in my head, and full of rage. There is no doubt in my mind that the fucking implants and drugs are causing the rage, and tell myself to stay as calm as possible, for the rage is a setup. Obviously, I have given unconscious authority to the evil rotten Amon RA/Nazi bastards again, and they have fucked me up with implants. Yesterday, I looked in the mirror and did not recognize my face, both because of the drugs (psychotropic drugs cause me to quite literally not recognize my own face in the mirror, and have done so for years--one of the ways that i can tell when i am on psychotropics), and because my forehead had that Nazi dome look again. I caght a glimpse of one of the evil Lemurian psychic neighbors, and he had that this look of expectation towards me, my house. Uh oh. If I could move, those goddamnned evil rotten bastards would be the ones I most want to get away from. However, I know that they would already be moved into the home or apt next to me, wherever I go, so I have to deal with them, or more truthfully, deal with the part of myself that keeps giving them power over me.

having difficulty reading, writing, head keeps shaking involuntarily, and fear that soon body is going to start convulsing. i need to do a couple of things, but so fucked up, cant imagine doing anythingl nine in the morning and already i want to knowck myself out with alcohol. looking to be a bad day.

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