Sunday, October 30, 2011

Situation deteriorated

Situation deteriorated--no worries about biking home. too sick to bike. too sick to do anything, but forced self to watch some dvds. a lot i need to do but too sick. I think i am on some psychotropic--i have the deep muscle soreness and hysterical laughter that i get sometimes on psych drugs. maybe it is just that the heavy metals cant clear my brain without necessary testosterone. figured out KaBalist yanked my thyroid meds. knew it for sure when i saw my hair falling out over this keyboard. but first it messed up digestion starting a couple of days ago. once ago, i started suffering from incredible hunger and craving for meat, even after i ate. eating makes my whole body feel weird because i need testosterone to digest and cannot. once again, too my belly started swelling like a pregnant womans after eating. i think i have a very tenuous and fragile, autistic gut to begin with, but when denied testosterone, i come done with all the symptoms of leaky gut syndrome.

Of course it doesnt matter. These bastards literally would kill me for the fun of it, if they thought for one minute that i would not be usable merchandise to spread their evil cult. All i ask is that if I die, please make sure my brain is smashed to smithereens. I don't mind suffering, i dont mind dying (at least not excessively so), but the thought of my brain and soul being enslaved to that evil MACHINE for even one day, is more than I can bear.

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