Saturday, October 1, 2011

I spent all day thinking on the incredible, convoluted,

I spent all day thinking on the incredible, convoluted,involved dream I had last night. I think I finally got a decent grasp of it, but I am too drugged to write abuot it. I am too drugged to write about anything. Once again, I am barely functional. THe recent sacral restoration of my lower back was reversed, and once more I am struggling to get it thru even most mundane of tasks. So fucked up i can barely walk. couldnt even sit in pahrmacy for thirty minutes. too fucked up. last night i was going out of my mind with speed; now i am going out of my m9ind with semi-psychosis. i expect it will get worse. got plenty of dvicodi n (need headache meds), so i am going to go watch tv, til i fall asleep, cannot stand my body or mind in this condition. . interesting--only went thru a third of a bodttle of testosterone last month. because i felt better. proud of myself, because they are very expensive, and was going to try to skip a purchase this month. cant see how that will be possible with my sacral energy reversed and stymied. i need ten t-tabs right now, just to be able to open my eyes, read internet. totally fucked up.

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