Pharmalogical cause of depression

9/27--The depression continues---worsening to the point that its getting harder and harder to do or care about anything.  But I know now, the cause of the depression is not my own personal issues I am dealing with--it's pharmacological--the result of me being doped up against my will.  As a matter of fact, when the goddamn poison is out of my system, I deal with things pretty good.  But right now, I'm flooded with the shit (I took some OTC vitamins on an empty stomach--only guess what?  They are not vitamins.  I think they are some kind of serontonin anti-depressant, and they are driving me into despair, wanting to be free of this horrible, emotionally and physically debiliating influence.  Not only that, but they are increasing the pain in my belly, and I have to hold on for surgery with a dr. I trust.  The emergency room would just do a hysterectomy, and then I'd really be in a hormonal pickle.  I think it is aggression causing the pain.  I want to smash somebody's face in.  I want to kick them in the balls, blow their face away, I want to cut my arms and empty this hateful poison that is killing me out.  But I know this is not really me.  This is the drugs and I have to endure.  I must endure.  I cannot stop this evil from happening to other people if I do not endure.  I know who is ultimately responsible for this, and I know that I am called to fight them--and I cannot fight them if I am dead.  So I have to hold on, and try to sleep this shit off, and do everything in my power to escape the drugs.