Struggling really hard

Struggling really hard to focus and try to clean house and do chores when I am totally fucked up on drugs and speed.  The sick, warped torutrers who are responsible for my suffering know how detrimental and difficult is for me, but at this point, they have absolutely nothing to lose.  Well, guess what, assholes, you got nothing to gain except increasing emnity on my part.  I am tired of suffering at your hands and everyday that I wake up and hate life and struggle just to get through the physical pain, heaviness, and mental torment that these drugs cause, it just adds momentum to my already rock solid resolve.  I despise you, Opus Dei, I despise the tactics of the Roman Catholic Church and all of your unholy alliances with corrupt earthly powers.  You know, and I know.  But I will never conform to your sick, warped expectations of me.  All of you responsible for my pain and suffering, the damage to my body and brain  GO FUCK YOURSELVES,  and molest some children, and take the pensions of the poor and widowed, just as you have done for centuries, while you feed them guilt and lies.  My house is a mess.  I have chores to do that cant be put off.  Somehow I have to hold my job, so I must try to force myself to function.