Not well enough

Not well enough to act on my resolve.  Not well enough to do anything.  Cant even watch TV.  Slept till noon, and that is the only time I am free of psychotropic hell--is when I sleep.  Otherwise I suffer with the headaches, the locked muscles (and now ive got weird spasms going on in my arm as well as the discomfort that comes with my abdominal muscles completely locked).  Im too sick to care.  I just try to drag myself around as little as possible and pray for the day that I am a free human being again.  But part of me laughs.  I laugh because these stupid fuckers are so far off.  They have no idea of how far they have driven me not only from their sick church but also how little they know or understand me.  I do think they understand they have lost me.  That is why the abuse is unrelenting.  and that is why they aimed a bullet into my head  what I am experiencing is nothing more than the torturing abuse of religious zealots living out the Inquisition all over again, but with 21st century techniques, and like Torquemada before them, they are pathetic sorry losers who long to know God, and control God, and have no idea of either the freedom of the human soul or the freedom of God.  But I give them their props--they know how to destroy flesh.  Congrats assholes.  I suffer.  I suffer every second I live.   But my suffering is all you stupid miserable fuckers get from me.  But you will NEVER get my free will to support you.  Get one thing clear assholes--we do not worship the same God.  You have warped the gospel and are an abomination on the face of the earth, and I am proud to defy you.  No matter the suffering.