How long is this hell going to continue?

How long is this hell going to continue? Miserable and severely depressed during the day, at night, when the force feeding begins is the worst. Fucking goddamned headaches, inability to read or even see (what the fuck are these assholes doing to my eyes?), severely autistic to the point that I cant watch TV or surf the Internet because I cant stand to see faces. And the goddamned excess cerebral spinal fluid in my brain that drives me crazy with pain and pressure.
Did yoga today, but yoga is no longer fun, or energizing. Instead, I fight to get through the hour and half, with deadened body and brain. Still it was better than what I am enduring now when I want to hit the goddamned motherfuckers who are responsible for doing this to me. Maybe I will settle on the stupid ass gray haired Christian who is stalking me in gym class. Maybe I will tell him what I really think--so tongue in cheek of course. After Prop 8 failure, I feel the desire to become more radical, angrily radical. Angry because fucked up on psychotropic drugs against my will, I am in constant pain, I cannot live my life the way I want. FUCK YOU ALL....how do you like that for "results" from your goddamned poison. Too sick to care. Dumbass motherfuckers have added speed to their poison. In their insufferable stupidity, they think that makes their poison turn me into their good little girl Catholic who does what she is told, and stays celibate so her queer ass don't offend the faithful...well guess what, faithful...get offended. I'm here, I'm queer, get used to it. As long as I have your sick perverted evil asses destroying my life and mocking my free will, I aint got shit to say to you except leave me the fuck alone. I Got to go to bed, and hope that I dont wake up at 3 am, so sick that I cant bear it, and take another Fiornal to deal with the goddamned pain and nausea.