busy day

A very busy day for me as mentally I started to recuperate from the trauma of the last few days, but physically I remain very messed up.  Both of my legs are completely numb right now, the numbness of autism, and I don't know if it is from yoga (when I was doped up on lithium, they used to get number after yoga, or if somebody sprayed my car with dope again).  I have been in so much pain that I think I am starting to disassociate from my body.  I realized how severe my muscle spasms have been doing yoga tonight.  My muscles will not move, and my back is severely out of whack.  I couldn't even do a Warrior 2 pose.  No wonder I have been having bad migraines--the lower back being out will cause a migraine every time.  It was a first tonight, as I had to take a Fiornal at the beginning of class.  Usually I can use the meditation and breathing to control the pain, but tonight the pain had the upper hand and I just couldn't handle the nausea.  It didn't help that I tried taking a GABA supplement to which I had a total negative reaction.  There is no doubt in my mind that the drugs they have been force feeding me have GABA in them.  I didn't mind so much that the GABA completely shut me down (I took it when I was really wired---trying to get everything done that I had to do, after I discovered a second bad tire in two days).  Even though the feeling was totally hateful and stressful, it only lasted about a half hour and then I recuperated rapidly.  It was the same sensation as the drugs, except the drug feeling of being repressed and shut down lasts all day long, and I go out of my mind wanting to escape the horrible feeling.  But the GABA supplement had the same long lasting side effects  that the drugs had---it messes up my vision really badly.  Right now my prescription from six months ago needs to be replaced by something much stronger--I am losing my vision to those drugs that mess up my eyesight.  And then there is the headaches---I recognized the headache immediately--I've never suffered from headaches like that before November of last year.  Typically, my headaches all come up my spinal column and neck, but these are focussed behind my eyes and at the third eye point, and it hurts to try to open my eyes and see.  But it was an experminent I tried at my own free will so I am not too upset.  I am more upset with my bad back and numb legs.  I realizeif I cannot break free of this doping, I soon will be disabled with pain. 

I can only take it one day at a time.  I will soon know if they intend to keep doping me.